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diff --git a/fortunes b/fortunes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7bde210 --- /dev/null +++ b/fortunes @@ -0,0 +1,15638 @@ + I don't care if it rains or freezes + Long as I have my plastic Jesus + Riding on the dashboard of my car + Through my trials and tribulations + And my travels through the nations + With my plastic Jesus I'll go far + + Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus + Riding on the dashboard of my car + I'm afraid he'll have to go + His magnets ruin my radio + And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar + + Riding down a thoroughfare + With his nose up in the air + A wreck may be ahead but he don't mind + Trouble coming He don't see + He just keeps his eye on me + And any other thing that lies behind + + Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus + Riding on the dashboard of my car + Though the sunshine on His back + Make Him peel, chip and crack + A little patching keeps Him up to par + + When pedestrians try to cross + I let them know who's boss + I never blow the horn or give them warning + I ride all over town + trying to run them down + And it's seldom that they live to see the morning + + Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus + Riding on the dashboard of my car + His halo fits just right + And I use it for a sight + And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far + + When I'm in a traffic jam + He don't care if I say "damn" + I can let all sorts of curses roll + Plastic Jesus doesn't hear + For he has a plastic ear + The man who invented plastic saved my soul + + Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus + Riding on the dashboard of my car + Once His robe was snowy white + Now it isn't quite bright + Stained by the smoke of my cigar + + If I weave around at night + And the police think I'm tight + They'll never find my bottle though they ask + Plastic Jesus shelters me + For his head comes off you see + He's hollow and I use Him for a flask + + Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus + Riding on the dashboard of my car + Ride with me and have a dram + Of the blood of the Lamb + Plastic Jesus is a holy bar. + + ["Plastic Jesus", circa 1969, sign-on + song of disk jockey Don Imis] +% +I don't care if it rains or freezes +Long as I've got my plastic jesus +Sitting on the dashboard of my car +Comes in colors pink and pleasant +Glows in the dark cause it's iridescent +Take it with you when you travel far. + +Get yourself a sweet madonna +Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a +Pedestal of abalone shell +Going ninety I aint scary +Cause I've got the virgin mary +Telling me that I won't go to hell. + [Paul Newman, in "Cool Hand Luke"] +% +Frisbeetarianism, n.: + + The belief that when you die, your soul goes up + on the roof and gets stuck. +% +God is real, unless declared integer. +% +God is love +Love is blind +Ray Charles is blind +Therefore, Ray Charles is God +% +Hindu speaking to a "Born again" christian: +"Of course I am born again. And again and again and again." +% + A preacher's wife proofread his Sunday sermon and wrote next + to one paragraph: "Weak point--shout loud". +% +If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions? +% +Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that +each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. +% +"Never join a religion that has a water slide." +% +"...but when you come to Heritage USA, remember to bring your Bible + and your VISA card - because the Bible is the Holy Truth, and God + doesn't take American Express." +% +At a recent PTL convention, the hotel reported that over 80% of the +conventionites watched at least one x-rated movie on the hotel's ppv cable... +% +"There are no saints, only unrecognized villains." +% +"For god so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, + that whosoever would believe in him would believe in anything." +% +"I don't mind those who are born again, just as long as + they don't think that they get twice as many rights." +% + And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?" + +They replied,"You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of +our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very +selfhood revealed." + + And Jesus replied, "What?" +% +"The only difference between God and Adolf Hitler + is that God is more proficient at genocide." +% + : #... + : # + :#####: + # : + # : + ...# : +% +"Jesus died to take our wibbles away, + so now we can go to zonk." +% +Humanity's first sin was faith; the first virtue was doubt. +% +Why be born again, when you can just grow up? +% +What a f iend we have in Jesus! +% +Blasphemy is a blast for me. +% +If you ask the wrong questions you +get answers like '42' or 'God'. +% +Keep Christ out of Christmas +% +Any belief worth having must survive doubt. +% +Traveller: God has been mighty good to your fields, Mr. Farmer. +Farmer: You should have seen how he treated them when I wasn't around. +% +Explaining the unknown by means of the unobservable +is always a perilous business. +% +It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature +and affect to despise it are among its worst and least pleasant examples. +% +Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. +You may both be wrong. +% +"I think I'll believe in Gosh instead of God. If you don't + believe in Gosh too, you'll be darned to heck." +% + + B + R + DEATH + I + N + ! + +% +Jesus -- The other white meat! +% +I love Jesus, Yes I do. Baked or broiled or in a stew... +% +Bend over for the rod and staff of Jesus! +% +The Pope has just declared that Jesus is now +an infinitly long tube of white paste. +% +Obey Psalms 137:9! +% +Jesus is coming! Wear your rubbers! +% +The only mortals who ever entered Barad-dur and came back unharmed in body and +soul were a pair of Iluvatar's Witnesses. Only days after their visit Sauron +realized that the "Minas Tirith" he had bought from them was only a pamphlet. +% +Jesus was adopted. +% +Trinity -- a three for one sale on deities +% +Surgeon General's Warning: Quitting Religion Now +Greatly Increases the Chances of World Peace. +% +Jesus rose from the dead and the apostles +came unto him saying "How's Elvis?" +% +If "he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword" holds true, then +jesus the carpenter met his end properly. After all, he was nailed to a +piece of wood, wasn't he? +% +Losing your faith is a lot like losing your virginity +you don't realise how irritating it was 'til it's gone. +% +Waco, Pensacola, The World Trade Center, Hebron, The Spanish +Inquisition, "Eat my flesh, and drink my blood" . . . + + Don't the Religiously-Correct just wanna' kill ya'? +% +Archeologists near mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to +be a missing page from the Bible and is believed to read 'To my +darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitous +and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental'. +% +They found Noah's ark, but there was a sign on it: +'Made in Hong Kong' " +% +Jesus is real! I saw him at a party last week, he was +playing quarters with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny +% +Religious reasons do not excuse violence: they accuse religion. +% +Evolution is both fact and theory. +Creationism is neither. +% + Power corrupts; +Absolute power corrupts absolutely; + God is all-powerful. + Draw your own conclusions +% +Atheism makes sense for America +% +Theists think all gods but theirs are false. +Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one. +% +I went to church to confess my sins to God +And then I realized there was no God and I had no sins. +% +Jesus Christ: Imaginary Playmate to Millions of Adults! +% +It seems odd that those who scoff at sun worshippers +are apt to worship a vacuum. +% +Organized religion is responsible for the brainwashing of millions of +young children too young to know the difference between reality and the +fantasies of millions. + Save Yourself. Drop Christianity. +% +FAITH - + An attitude fostered by individuals in high places in + order to ensure the subservience of those in their charge. +% +A zealot's stones will break my bones, but gods will never hurt me. +% +Nine out of ten priests who have tried Camels, prefer young boys. +% +Autumn wind: Where there are humans +gods, Buddha-- you'll find flies, +lies, lies, lies and Buddhas. + --Shiki --Issa +% +nullifidian n. & a. (Person) having no religious faith or belief, +f. med. L nullifidius fr L nullus none + fides faith; see IAN +% +freethinker n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of +reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. +% +On the sixth day God created man +On the seventh day, man returned the favor. +% +A society without religion is like a crazed psychopath without a loaded .45 +% +Fundamentalism means never having to say "I'm wrong." +% +Christianity: The understanding that "God" is the name we give to the +answer (which we do not know) to the question, "Why is there anything at +all?" - and that Christ is the self-expression of God; the view that - +against the appearances - we are loved in the universe. +% +"Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich" +% +"Try new Post Jesus (tm) breakfast cereal! Chock full of bland, +tasteless little bread wafers made from 100% Jesus for that +full-body of Christ taste. Goes great with a little red wine." +% +Wouldn't it be funny if Elvis came back instead of Jesus? +% +Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; +Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish +% +May theists be shaved with Ockham's Razor! +% +Two hands working do more than a thousand clasped in prayer +% +Why does the Vatican have lightning rods? +% +Some have for fundies then evangelists passed +Turned preachers next and proved plain fools at last. +% + ___/|__ _ + \ \_/ / Have you forgotten about Jesus? + <JESUS>< >LOGIC _ < Isn't it about time you did? + /_____/ \_\ +% +If Jesus loves me, why doesn't he ever send me flowers? +% + It's your god. + They're your rules. + *You* go to hell. +% +I once believed in god. I got better. +% +Faith - the ability to believe the ridiculous for the sublime. +% +The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." +The Wise Man Says it to the World. +% +Christ died for my sins, descended into Hell, and rose again + On the third day, in accordance with the Scriptures... + And all I got was this lousy t-shirt. +% +If a member of McDonalds' staff was God: +"OK, one Universe. Uh, you want fries with that?" +% +Bumper sticker seen: + Geez if you believe in Honkus. +% + ********************************************************** + * WARNING: To prevent the risk of insanity, do not * + * open the bible's cover. No user understandable * + * material inside. Please refer counseling to * + * qualified mental health personnel. * + ********************************************************** +% +Garbage In -- Gospel Out +% +A clash of doctrine is not a disaster - it is an opportunity. +% +Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. +% +Vique's Law: + A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle. +% +Man created God in his own image. +% +God did not create the world in 7 days. +He screwed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter. +% +Jesus loves the Ku Klux Klanners, +Jesus loves the KKK, +Pointy hats and flowing robes, +Burning crosses, homophobes! +Jesus loves the Klanners of the world! +% +Moses: the self-proclaimed meekest of all men even though he allegedly +spoke face to face with God and gave us the so-called Ten Commandments +(though they aren't really ten in number); the man who wrote (or +edited) the account of his own death and burial; the man who -- +according to himself -- was God's spokesperson in the same way that +Mohammed, Joseph Smith, Mary Baker Eddy, -- and a parcel of others -- +claim to speak for God. +% +In Ottawa the xians put up an "abortion stills a beating heart" +poster outside the local abortion clinic. Someone wrote over it: +"A christian with a gun stills a beating heart." +% +"Faith is deciding to allow yourself to believe + something your intellect would otherwise cause + you to reject -- otherwise there's no need for faith." +% +A slippery day in the Bible: +When Balam went through +Jerusalem on his ass. +% +Theology: The study of elaborate verbal disguises for non-ideas. +% +God: The Immutable Chameleon; whenever the need is felt by one of his + followers, He obligingly recreates himself to suit the occasion. +% +The mind of the fundamentalist is like the pupil of the eye: +the more light you pour on it, the more it will contract. +% +Q: Jesus was renowned for his ability to heal. What was the + one affliction that proved to malignant for his cure? +A: Christianity +% +Jesus loves you all, and can't wait to +control you like a small household pet +% +Religion is the work of the Devil +% +Never make a god of your religion +% +You Go Yahweh - and I'll go Mine! +% +God hated the world so much that he sent his only +son so that whoever does not believe in him will +perish and be denied eternal life. +% +Christianity is not a religion; it's an industry. +% +=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= +Goofy and Mickey are going to burn in eternal +Hellfire for sharing an insurance policy!. Details +this Sunday at you local Southern Baptist Church. +Witch burning and pot luck supper to follow the services. +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= +% +"Belief in heaven is very difficult without + a greedy desire for it: All scams need a hook." +% +"Humanity sees its reflection in the mirrors that surround it, + and thus gratified, calls this image perfect, good, merciful, + omniscient, omnipresent, holy, just, and above all, love. So + enchanted are these hairless apes with this, that they invent + a special word for it: 'God'." +% +I have to go take a christian. I need to find some apostle to wipe +my god with, first. I hope I don't get any jesus on my fingers. +% +All jesus could do was turn water into wine. +Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers - could JC do that? +% + _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ +|_____|_____|_____| Let Us Keep a _|_____|_____|_____| +|__|_____|_____|__ Wall of Separation _|_____|_____|__| +|_____|_____|_____|____ Between ____|_____|_____|_____| +|__|_____|_____|___ Church and State __|_____|_____|__| +|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____| +|__|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|__| +% +The scientist yearns to find and eventually know the truth; +The religious man wants the truth to fit his preconceived mold. +So, as a result... +The scientist alters his perception to conform to the facts; +The religious man tries to change the facts to conform to his beliefs. +% +INRI: Idiots Need Reassuring Ideologies +% +Religions are what dreams are made of. +% +All Gods were immortal. +% +For many, faith is a suitable substitute for +knowledge, as death is for a difficult life. +% +In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the +instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible +one. In that case we believe the former as part of the latter. +% +Christian humility is preached by the clergy, +but practiced only by the lower classes. +% +The Christian lives in a nightmare and thinks it is a pleasant dream. +% +Whatever we cannot easily understand we call God: +this saves much wear and tear on the brain tissues. +% +Reason is, of all things in the world, the most hurtful to a reasoning +human being. God only allows it to remain with those he intends to +damn, and his goodness takes it away from those he intends to save or +render useful in the Church . . . If reason had any part in religion, +what then would become of faith? +% +To the philosophic eye, the vices of the clergy +are far less dangerous than their virtues. +% +The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next. +% +It's a happy bishop who hasn't got a saint in his diocese. +% +It is no accident that the symbol of a bishop is a crook, +and the sign of an archbishop is a double-cross. +% +Consider the ignorance of the average fundamentalist. Then realize that +by definition fully half of them must be even dumber than that. +% + +SUNDAY SERMON + +A technician, wrapped in a stiff, white smock, + takes an albino rat from the big crate + delivered just that morning, puts it in + the God Model Box, leaves and locks the room. +The box, with random corners and angles, + is monitored by a ceiling mounted + video camera. +A switch mounted in one corner is well + protected by spring wire traps, barriers + and rat repellent. +The switch delivers an electric shock + when touched by the rat. +The experiment lasts 24 hours + or so, depending on the whim and will + of the technician. +If during that time, the rat sits on the + switch for thirty or forty seconds, + the technician will set it free in the + field behind the fence. +Otherwise, he will restrain the rat in + a vice and slowly pull off its tail and + its legs, one by one, then skin it and leave + it to die + slowly. + +Little is learned in this experiment + either by the rat or the technician + who is not at all surprised that none of + rats ever perform the required task. +But the technician does get to skin a + lot of rats, and he likes to hear them squeal. + +% +JESUS IS COMING! +Are you going to spit or swallow? +% +"We preach peace, forgiveness, tolerance and love. We practice vengeance, + persecution, hatred and domination. My personal beliefs are supported and + validated by my convictions. + Oh, and never forget .... my religion is truth, yours is a lie." + [Religion, paraphrased (unknown)] +% +JWs: "If we were to tell you that there is an army of angels waiting + in Heaven, and on the Day of Judgement they will be unleashed upon + the world to slay all the unbelievers, what would your response be?" +Response: "Pre-emptive nuclear strike." +% +The Religious Right aren't, and Scientific Creationism isn't. +% +There is no God but our God +The humble Christians say. +There is no God but our God. +To Him alone we pray. + +What of the others by the score, +Gods just as great and mighty. +Of Allah, Odin, Jove and Thor, +Venus and Aphrodite. + +If to the one alone we pray, +And He is just a faker (fakir?), +There surely will be Hell to pay +When we meet our maker. + +So, good Christians take my advice. +Don't be so egotistic. +And on occasion in your prayers +Address some other mystic. + +Remember there have been a score, +A hundred, thousands, maybe more. +To say there is but one God +Might make the others sore. + +Good Christians believe in one God. +Myself, I must confess, +Am not so very different. +I believe in just one less. +% +"If the Bible proves that God exists then + comic books prove the existence of Superman." + [Seen on the #Atheism IRC] +% +A Humanist or an Athiest can't tell you to +go to hell but a Christian can and will. +% +Out of convicted rapists, 57% admitted to reading +pornography. 95% admitted to reading the Bible. +% +You'll never find a dead Christian +in a foxhole who didn't pray. +% +The Holy Father is neither +% +If the baby goes to heaven +And the doctor goes to hell +If the woman gets forgiveness +What's the problem pray tell!? +% +Read the Buy-Bull +% +Although it is said that faith can move mountains, +experience has shown that dynamite works better. +% +><DARWIN> + L L +% +Religion is to rationality as bullshit is to horsepower. +% +The greater your ignorance, the more evidence +you have for the existence of God! +% + __________ + / _______ \ + / \ \ _ \ \ + | / \ \ | | | + | | _\ \|__ | | + | ||__\ \__|| | + | | |\ \ | | + | | | \ \ | | + | | | |\ \| | + | | |_| \ \ | + \ \_______\ / + \__________/ + +% +"Mysticism is a disease of the mind." +% +"As long as Baptists can stagger to the polls, there + will never be liquor by the drink in this town." +% +"If God had wanted us to make sense, + He would have existed." +% +Several thousand years ago, a small tribe of ignorant near-savages wrote +various collections of myths, wild tales, lies, and gibberish. Over the +centuries, these stories were embroidered, garbled, mutilated, and torn +into small pieces that were then repeatedly shuffled. Finally, this material +was badly translated into several languages successively. The resultant text, +creationists feel, is the best guide to this complex and technical subject. +% + The last time we mixed + religion and government +people were burned at the stake. + -- bumper sticker +% +Find God? Why, is God missing? +% +Freedom is the Distance Between Church and State +% +To Hell With the Baptists, I'm Going to Disney Land +% +Focus on Your Own Damn Family +% +Wise Men Still Seek Him...Apparently, He's lost. +% +Jesus Loves Me, Yes I Know / +For the Voices Tell Me So. +% +When The Religious Right Takes Over, We'll All Live In Iran +% +Welcome to Burger God: Have it YAHWEH! +% +Want to know what happens after death? +Go look at some dead things. +% +Public prayer...Don't Stand for it! +% +A mystic is someone who wants to understand +the universe, but is too lazy to study physics +% +I am a demo religious meme which has been replicated here. +You will be blessed if you copy me and pass me on to infect +the next mind. And damned if you don't. +% +Jesus - Myth or Legend? +% +Re: God... +1) The emperor has no clothes. +2) There is no emperor. +% +Christians believe that the most wonderful thing that can happen to them +is to go to Heaven, but few of them are in a hurry to make the trip. +% +Religion is a major weapon in the war against reality. +% +Help preserve your child's belief in Santa Claus. Tell him or her +that Santa will send them to hell if they don't believe in him. +% +There are none more ignorant and useless, +than they that seek answers on their knees, +with their eyes closed. +% +God inspires men to preach what sounds like bullshit. +Men who preach the bullshit admit it sounds like bullshit. +God punishes those who hear the bullshit and characterize it as +bullshit. If God has a problem with that, it's His own damn fault. +% +"If, as they say, God spanked this town + For being much too frisky, + Why did He burn His churches down + And save Hotaling's Whiskey?" + [Poem on 1906 San Francisco earthquake and fire, in which + the city's largest whiskey distillery was left unscathed] +% +"If god doesn't like the way I live, + Let him tell me, not you." + [As seen on a button] +% +Person 1: Solomon had many horses, he had many wives; he did + exactly the opposite of what the bible says... +Person 2: He was the wisest of men..." + [transcript of actual talk show] +% +God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on +where to go. + "Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter. + "No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God. + "Well, how about Mercury?" + "No, it's too hot there." + "Okay," said St. Peter, "What about Earth?" + "No," said God, "They're such horrible gossips. When I was +there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're +still talking about it." +% +Christianity: Safer than a lobotomy, but just as effective. +% +Once purged of the insanity, plagiarisms, illegalities, +contradictions, and the perverse, the Bible could be +printed on match book covers while increasing it's usefulness. +% +A metaphysician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat +that isn't there, and a theologian is one who finds the cat. +% +The Christians have fathers who aren't fathers, mothers who aren't mothers, +brothers who aren't brothers, and sisters who aren't sisters, they swear +off sex, and then try to explain "family values" to the rest of us. +% +Atheism and truth, 2 words 1 meaning. +% +Cogito, ergo non credo. +% +Exploring the universe through meditation is like +studying human relationships through masturbation. +% +A god's primary function is to confirm for us deeply held beliefs that +we can't let go of, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. When +you are totally and absolutely convinced of something fundamentally +unreasonable, it helps to believe you have divine guidance. +% +At one point in time, many of us actually had Jesus as +our personal lord and saviour. Unfortunately, we later +had to dismiss him for incompetence, gross negligence, +misconduct and consistent failure to show up for work. +% +The Fundamentalist +== Knows no greater joy than the sound of his own voice. +== Knows no greater terror than the god he creates in his own image. +== Knows no greater evil than an unfettered mind. +== Knows no greater blasphemy than being told "NO." +% +religion is a socio-political institution for the control +of people's thoughts, lives, and actions; based on +ancient myths and superstitions perpetrated through +generations of subtle yet pervasive brainwashing." +% +"Probably get his dumb ass nailed to a cross..." + [Response to WWJD (What Would + Jesus Do) paraphernalia] +% +"When the philosopher's argument becomes tedious, complicated, + and opaque, it is usually a sign that he is attempting to prove + as true to the intellect what is plainly false to common sense." + [Edward Abbey (from Voice Crying in the Wilderness)] +% +"The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages-- + as if the savages weren't dangerous enough already." + [Edward Abbey] +% +"Fantastic doctrines (like Christianity or Islam or Marxism) require + unanimity of belief. One dissenter casts doubt on the creed of millions. + Thus the fear and hate; thus the torture chamber, the iron stake, the + gallows, the labor camp, the psychiatric ward." + [Edward Abbey] +% +"Belief in the supernatural reflects a failure of the imagination." + [Edward Abbey] +% +"We repeat and again reaffirm that neither a State nor the Federal Government + can constitutionally force a person 'to profess a belief or disbelief in any + religion.' Neither can constitutionally pass laws or impose requirements + which aid all religions as against non-believers, and neither can aid those + religions based on a belief in the existence of God as against those + religions founded on different beliefs." + [School District of Abington TP. PA. v. Schempp/Murray v. Curlett, 1963] +% +"The world holds two classes of men -- intelligent men + without religion, and religious men without intelligence." + [Abu'l-Ala-Al-Ma'arri (973-1057; Syrian poet)] +% +"Who made who?" + [AC/DC] +% +"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. + That unalterable rule applies both to God and man." + [John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton (Lord Acton) in + a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton, April 5,1887] +% +"Thought is one of the manifestations of human energy, and among + the earlier and simpler phases of thought, two stand conspicuous + -- Fear and Greed. Fear, which, by stimulating the imagination, + creates a belief in an invisible world, and ultimately develops a + priesthood; and Greed, which dissipates energy in war and trade." + [Brooks Adams (1848-1927), The Law of Civilization and Decay] +% +"The power of the priesthood lies in the submission to a creed. + In their onslaughts on rebellion they have exhausted human torments; + nor, in their lust for earthly dominion, have they felt remorse, + but rather joy, when slaying Christ's enemies and their own." + [Brooks Adams, The Emancipation of Massachusetts] +% +"If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease!" + [Clark Adams] +% +"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having + to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" + [Douglas Adams] +% +"I refuse to prove that I exist" says God, "for proof denies + faith, and without faith, I am nothing." +"Oh," says man, "but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't + it? It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't. Q.E.D." +"Oh, I hadn't thought of that." says God, who promptly vanishes + in a puff of logic. + [Douglas Adams, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"] +% +"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do + irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. + This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion." + [Scott Adams, "The Dilbert Principle"] +% +"Eat a big plate of jambalya, head off to the can, and meditate + on this, "defecating is more productive than praying." + [Todd Adamson] +% +"Walking on water is easy. It is what we do for a + living. You just have to know where the rocks are. + Step from rock to rock, and those on the shore will + think you are performing a miracle." + [advice from professional prophets] +% +"A spokesman for the Lyon Group, producers of _Barney and + Friends_, denied that Barney is an instrument of Satan." + [the Advocate, spring 1994] +% +"The truth which makes men free is for the most + part the truth which men prefer not to hear." + [Herbert Agar, "A Time for Greatness" 1942] +% +"When you see a cross sticking in the ground, that usually means that + someone is buried there, or someone got killed there. Perhaps, by + wearing that cross around their neck, what they're saying is that + they're dead from the neck up? That would explain a *lot* of things." + [Wayne Aiken, on AACHAT] +% +"Faith in God and seventy-five cents will get you a cup of coffee." + [Wayne Aiken] +% +"The so-called religious right of the Republican Party- the Christian + right, they call themselves, although in my view they are neither + Christian nor right- is after a totalitarian state." + [Edward Albee, interview in Progressive August 1996 issue] +% +"Had I been present at the creation of the world, + I would have proposed some improvements." + [Alfonso X (Alfonso the Wise; + 1226-1284; King of Castile)] +% +"Sensible men no longer belive in miracles; they + were invented by priests to humbug the peasants." + [King Alfonso] +% +"Goodnight, thank you, and may your god go with you" + [Dave Allen, Irish Comedian, + at the end of all of his shows] +% +"Most of us spend the first 6 days of each week sowing wild oats, + then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure." + [Fred Allen] +% +"Religions change; beer and wine remain" + [Harvey Allen] +% +"...And no philosophy, sadly, has all the answers. No matter how assured + we may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful + inconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions. This is true in religion as + it is in politics, and is self-evident to all except fanatics and the naive. + As for the fanatics, whose number is legion in our own time, we might be + advised to leave them to heaven. They will not, unfortunately, do us the + same courtesy. They attack us and each other, and whatever their + protestations to peaceful intent, the bloody record of history makes clear + that they are easily disposed to restore to the sword. My own belief in + God, then, is just that -- a matter of belief, not knowledge. My respect + for Jesus Christ arises from the fact that He seems to have been the + most virtuous inhabitant of Planet Earth. But even well-educated Christians + are frustated in their thirst for certainty about the beloved figure + of Jesus because of the undeniable ambiguity of the scriptural record. + Such ambiguity is not apparent to children or fanatics, but every + recognized Bible scholar is perfectly aware of it. Some Christians, alas, + resort to formal lying to obscure such reality." + [Steve Allen] +% +"As I argued in "Beloved Son", a book about my son Brian and the subject + of religious communes and cults, one result of proper early instruction + in the methods of rational thought will be to make sudden mindless + conversions -- to anything -- less likely. Brian now realizes this and + has, after eleven years, left the sect he was associated with. The + problem is that once the untrained mind has made a formal commitment to + a religious philosophy -- and it does not matter whether that philosophy + is generally reasonable and high-minded or utterly bizarre and + irrational -- the powers of reason are suprisingly ineffective in + changing the believer's mind." + [Steve Allen] +% +"One social evil for which the New Testament is + clearly in part responsible is anti-Semitism." + [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on + the Bible Religion & Morality"] +% +"There is not the slightest question but that the God of the Old + Testament is a jealous, vengeful God, inflicting not only on the + sinful pagans but even on his Chosen People fire, lighting, + hideous plagues and diseases, brimstone, and other curses." + [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on + the Bible Religion & Morality"] +% +"There are hundreds of millions who believe the Messiah has come. + If he did, then it is unfortunately the case that his heroic + sacrifice and death have had no effect whatsoever on the very + problem his coming might have been expected to address, for + history demonstrates, beyond question, that we Christians have + been just as dangerous, singly and en masse, as non-Christians." + [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on + the Bible Religion & Morality"] +% +"The Bible has been interpreted to justify such evil practices as, for + example, slavery, the slaughter of prisoners of war, the sadistic murders + of women believed to be witches, capital punishment for hundreds of + offenses, polygamy, and cruelty to animals. It has been used to encourage + belief in the grossest superstition and to discourage the free teaching + of scientific truths. We must never forget that both good and evil flow + from the Bible. It is therefore not above criticism." + [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on + the Bible Religion & Morality"] +% +"Ideas have consequences, and totally erroneous + ideas are likely to have destructive consequences." + [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen, + on the Bible Religion & Morality"] +% +"God is by definition the holder of all possible knowledge, it + would be impossible for him to have faith in anything. Faith, + then, is built upon ignorance and hope." + [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen, + on the Bible Religion & Morality"] +% +"No actual tyrant known to history has ever been guilty of + one-hundredth of the crimes, massacres, and other atrocities + attributed to the Deity in the Bible." + [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen, + on the Bible Religion & Morality"] +% +"If...we assume that there is no God, it follows that morality is even + more important than if there is a Deity. If God exists, his unlimited + power can certainly redress imbalances in the scale of human justice. + But if there is no God, then it is up to man to be as moral as he can." + [Steve Allen] +% +"It is not hardness of heart or evil passions that drive certain + individuals to atheism, but rather a scrupulous intellectual honesty." + [Steve Allen, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, + Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by + James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. + If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. + The same happens in the absence of prayers." + [Steve Allen, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, + Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by + James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"To those who wish to punish others--or at least to see them punished, if + the avengers are too cowardly to take matters in to their own hands-- the + belief in a fiery, hideous hell appears to be a great source of comfort." + [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on + the Bible Religion & Morality"] +% +"An all-powerful being would have the power to punish a sinner, by any means + he might choose to employ. However, the Scriptures not only attribute to + God a horrible vengefulness but also suggest that God is incredibly stupid. + It would be stupid if an individual, intent on punishing a sinner or group + of them, expended his destructive energy not only on those who it might be + said deserved such punishment but also on enormous numbers of innocent people + who simply had the bad luck to be in the physical proximity of evildoers. + To argue that God works in this way is to put him precisely on the same moral + plane as those modern terrorists who, to kill a particular individual or + small group, will place a bomb on an airplane in the full knowledge that in + addition to the five or six intended victims all the other occupants, in whom + the terrorists have no particular interest, will be killed." + [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen on + the Bible Religion, & Morality"] +% +"Believing that the Bible is the divinely inspired word of God, certain human + beings are prepared to suspend not only reason but even common sense about + any and all passages found within, no matter how vile or bloodthirsty." + [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen on + the Bible Religion, & Morality"] +% +"Another philosopher suggests that saying prayers is equivalent + to believing that the universe is governed by a Being who changes + his mind if you ask him to." + [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen On the + Bible, Religion and Morality," 1990] +% +"In every single instance where churchmen placed themselves squarely + athwart the path of science, as regards a particular knotty question, + the religious forces were eventually defeated for the very sound + reason that they were wrong." + [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen On the + Bible, Religion and Morality," 1990] +% +"In less than an hour, the Parliament of Toulouse, France publicly burned + 400 unfortunate women, having convicted them of crimes that existed only in + the deluded minds of their sentences. Five hundred women were burned at the + stake in the city of Geneva in one month, and approximately a thousand were + murdered in the Italian province of Como. A French judge, over the course of + 16 years, could boast that he had sentenced some 800 women to the stake. + This entire vast atrocity was said to be "justified" by the Bible. In + reality, it is the Bible that is blackened by such crimes." + [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen On the + Bible, Religion and Morality," 1990] +% +"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends." + [Woody Allen] +% +"As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably + because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on." + [Woody Allen] +% +"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my + tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" + [Woody Allen] +% +"I do not believe in an afterlife, although + I am bringing a change of underwear." + [Woody Allen] +% +"We face the nineties with a Court that relegates First Amendment + rights to the level of any law, a Justice Department quite willing + to establish first- and second-class citizenship determined by + religious belief....a Christian arrogance and exclusivism reminiscent + of earlier centures of religious persecution." + [Robert S. Alley, "Christian Exclusivism and + Second-Class Citizenship", in Free Inquiry] +% +"If we encounter in a personality fear of divine punishment as the sole + sanction for right doing, we can be sure we are dealing with a childish + conscience, with a case of arrested development." + [Gordon W. Allport, "Becoming"] +% +"Imagine encouraging [a child] to participate in such 'twisted' rituals + and worshiping of tortuous crucifixes and such like this from birth. + No wonder we have so many hateful and sadistic people in our society." + [Brent Allsop 10-27-95 (news:alt.atheism)] +% +"Immaculate deceptions going on every day, still you + follow the clowns who give the circus away" + [The Almighty] +% +"Is God something that exists 'out there," beyond, and independent of us? + Or is God merely the product of an inherited human perception, the + manifestation of an evolutionary adaptation, a coping mechanism that + emerged in our species in order to enable us to survive our unique and + otherwise debilitating awareness of death?" + [Matthew Alper, "The God Part of the Brain", Rogue + Press, Brooklyn NY, 1999, on the back cover] +% +"Adam was deceived by Eve, not Eve by Adam.....it is right + that he whom that woman induced to sin should assume the + role of guide lest he fall again through feminine instability." + [St. Ambrose, Bishop of Milan, letter 63, 396] +% +"More than half the world is hungry and the environment of the world is + deteriorating rapidly because of over-population. Any action which impedes + efforts to halt the world population perpetuates the misery in which millions + now live and promotes death by starvation of millions this year and many more + millions in the next few decades. + It has been stated by Roman Catholics that the Pope is not evil, but + simply unenlightened, and we must agree. But, whatever the motives, the evil + consequences of his encyclical are manifest... + (conclusion) The world must quickly come to realize that Pope Paul VI has + sanctioned the deaths of countless numbers of human beings with his misguided + and immoral encyclical. The fact that this incredible document was put forth + in the name of a religious figure whose teachings embodies the highest respect + for the value of human dignity and life should serve to make the situation + even more repugnant to mankind." + [American Association for the Advancement of Science, + Signed by about 2000 Scientists, Dallas, 1968, + on Pope Paul VI's "Humanae Vitae" encyclical] +% +"Prayer won't cure AIDS. Research will." + [Public service advertisement of the American + Foundation for AIDS Research, dropped because + of complaints by religionists, from + Freethought Today, March 1997] +% +"In order to see Christianity, one + must forget almost all Christians." + [Henri F. Amiel] +% +"A belief is not true because it is useful." + [Henri Frederic Amiel] +% +"I acted alone on God's orders." + [Yigal Amir, assassin of + Yitzak Rabin, Israeli PM] +% +"Father says bow your head, + Like the Good Book says. + I think the Good Book is + missing some pages..." + [Tori Amos] +% +"This whole Christian theology thing is that god came down to experience + life through his son. Well, how's he experiencing life if he doesn't get + laid? Give me a break. And why would he not get laid, as he created the + apparatus in the first place?" + [Tori Amos, interview in _Vox_, May, 1994, by Steve Maline] +% +"I got enough guilt to start my own religion" + [Tori Amos] +% +"I always thought I'd make a good girlfriend for Jesus" + [Tori Amos] +% +"I used to get really pissed off that my life was so dictated by when this + Jesus guy was born and when he was dying every year. I felt really resentful + that I couldn't get on with my own life because I was so busy with his." + [Tori Amos] +% +"God sometimes you just don't come through + God sometimes you just don't come through + Do you need a woman to look after you? + God sometimes you just don't come through + + You make pretty daisies pretty daisies love + I gotta find what you're doing about things here + A few witches burning + Get a little toasty here + Gotta find why you always go when the wind blows + Tell me you're crazy maybe then I'll understand + You got your 9 iron in the back seat just in case + Heard you've gone south + Well babe you love your new 4 wheel + I gotta find why you always go when the wind blows + + Will you even tell her if you decide to make the sky fall + Will you even tell her if you decide to make the sky" + + [Tori Amos, "God" from the "Under the Pink" album] +% +"that kind of god is always man-made + they made him up then wrote a book + to keep you on your knees" + [Skunk Anansie, "Selling Jesus"] +% +"Everything has a natural explanation. The moon is + not a god but a great rock and the sun a hot rock." + [Anaxagorus, ca. 475 BC] +% +"No, no, no -- you don't argue with concepts. You have to claim + Dogma, and therefore leave no room for rational thought." + [Kevin J. Anderson, _Flashback_] +% +"Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. + Religion is answers that may never be questioned." + [Anemones] +% +"People whose history and future were threatened each day by extinction + considered that it was only by divine intervention that they were able + to live at all. I find it interesting that the meanest life, the poorest + existence, is attributed to God's will, but as human being become more + affluent, as their living standard and style begin to ascend the material + scale, God descends the scale of respectability at a commensurate speed." + [Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", p. 101] +% +"Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know he is." + [Jean Anouilh (1910-87) French dramatist, playwright] +% +"Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent and + the serpent didn't have a leg to stand on." + [Anonymous] +% +"There are ten church members by inheritance for every one by conviction." + [Anonymous] +% +"A good rule for interpretation is: 'If the literal sense makes good + sense, seek no other sense lest you come up with nonsense'" + [Anonymous] +% +"Since the Bible and the church are obviously mistaken in telling us + where we came from, how can we trust them to tell us where we are going?" + [Anonymous] +% +"Unfalsifiable propositions are not amenable to any method at all. + If they were, then religions would be able to find a way to resolve + internal conflicts over differing versions of their unfalsifiables + without resorting to schism, excommunication, torture, or jihad. + In science, however, there are no permanent schisms, because there + is a recognized final court of appeal, namely the universe itself." + [Anonymous] +% +"I believe that there is no God, but that matter is God and God is + matter; and that it is no matter whether there is any God or no." + [Anon., "The Unbeliever's Creed," 1754] +% +"A cardinal doctrine in the Christian faith is total depravity." + [Letter to the editor, Antelope Valley + Press, Lancaster CA, June 20, 1998] +% +"I distrust those people who know so well what + God wants them to do because I notice it always + coincides with their own desires." + [Susan B. Anthony] +% +"To no form of religion is woman + indebted for one impulse of freedom..." + [Susan B. Anthony] +% +"I was born a heretic. I always distrust people who know + so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows." + [Susan B. Anthony] +% +"Stating the 'The Constitution guarantess that government may not coerce + anyone to support or participate in religious exercises,' the court held + the First Amendment is violated by including clerical members who offer + prayer as part of an official school graduation ceremony, even though + attendance was supposedly voluntary. The court concluding that attendance + was in a real sense obligatory with the students indiced to conform." + [Lee v. Weisman (1992, U S) 120 L Ed 2d 467, 112 S Ct 2649, from + the 1996 pocket part for the book "Modern Constitutional Law, + Vol. I: The Individual And The Government", by Chester J. Antieau] +% +"...our constitutional tradition, from the Declaration of Independence and + the first inaugural address of Washington... down to the present day, has, + with a few aberrations, see Church of Holy Trinity v. United States, + 143 U.S. 457, 12 S.Ct. 511, 36 L.Ed. 226 (1892), ruled out of order + government-sponsored endorsement of religion--even when no legal coercion + is present, and indeed even when no ersatz, "peer-pressure" psycho-coercion + is present--where the endorsement is sectarian, in the sense of specifying + details upon which men and women who believe in a benevolent, omnipotent + Creator and Ruler of the world are known to differ (for example, the + divinity of Christ)." + [Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, + _Lee v. Weisman_, 505 U.S. 577, 641 (1992)] +% +"We are asked to recognize the existence of a practice of nonsectarian prayer, + prayer within the embrace of what is known as the Judeo-Christian tradition, + prayer which is more acceptable than one which, for example, makes explicit + references to the God of Israel, or to Jesus Christ, or to a patron saint. + There may be some support, as an empirical observation, to the statement of + the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit, picked up by Judge Campbell's + dissent in the Court of Appeals in this case, that there has emerged in this + country a civic religion, one which is tolerated when sectarian exercises are + not. Stein, 822 F.2d at 1409; 908 F.2d 1090, 1098-1099 (CA1 1990) + (Campbell, J., dissenting) (case below); see also Note, Civil Religion and + the Establishment Clause, 95 Yale L.J. 1237 (1986). If common ground can be + defined which permits once conflicting faiths to express the shared conviction + that there is an ethic and a morality which transcend human invention, the + sense of community and purpose sought by all decent societies might be + advanced. But though the First Amendment does not allow the government to + stifle prayers which aspire to these ends, neither does it permit the + government to undertake that task for itself." + [Supreme Court, Lee v. Weisman, 505 U.S. 577 (1992)] +% +"The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority + is Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of + the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven + days." Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from + the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does from the + Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we receive from the Moon is one + 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that ... + The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat + lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i.e., + Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the + Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E) temperature of the earth (-300K), + gives H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed... + (However) Revelations 21:8 says "But the fearful, and unbelieving ... shall + have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake + of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the + boiling point, 444.6C. We have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than + Hell at 445C." + [From "Applied Optics" vol. 11, A14, 1972] +% +"For it is a much more serious matter to corrupt faith, through which comes the + soul's life, than to forge money, through which temporal life is supported. + Hence if forgers of money or other malefactors are straightway justly put to + death by secular princes, with much more justice can heretics, immediately + upon conviction, be not only excommunicated but also put to death." + [Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274), Summa Theologica] +% +"As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten, + for the active power of the male seed tends to the production of a + perfect likeness in the masculine sex; while the production of a woman + comes from defect in the active power...." + [Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica,Q92, art. 1, Reply Obj. 1] +% +"I suggest that the anthropomorphic god-idea is not a harmless infirmity + of human thought, but a very noxious fallacy, which is largely responsible + for the calamities the world is at present enduring" + [William Archer (1856-1924), _Theology and War_] +% +"To me it seems that mankind can never achieve its highest potentialities + till it has thrown off the incubus of historic (and prehistoric) religion..." + [William Archer (1856-1924), "Is the Battle,Won?"] +% +"'Theocracy' has always been the synonym for a bleak and + narrow, if not a fierce and blood-stained tyranny." + [William Archer (1667-1735)] +% +"If you were taught that elves caused rain, every + time it rained, you'd see the proof of elves." + [Ariex] +% +"A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. + Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom + they consider godfearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less + easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side." + [Aristotle (384-322 BCE), "Politics"] +% +"Men create gods after their own image, not only with regard + to their form but with regard to their mode of life." + [Aristotle, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, + Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by + James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"(R)eligious teaching has had effects the precise opposite + of those commonly held to be its prerogative - the advocacy + of truth and high conduct." + [Dr. Henry Edward Armstrong, "The Outlook for Reason"] +% +"In a pluralistic society, no group, no matter how numerous or powerful, + has a right to prescribe a set of beliefs or a code of ethics for all." + [Bishop James Armstrong, United Methodist Church, Address, + Phoenix, Arizona February 4, 1975, from Menendez and Doerr, + The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom] +% +"Nothing is more humbling than to look with a strong magnifying glass at an + insect so tiny that the naked eye sees only the barest speck and to discover + that nevertheless it is sculpted and articulated and striped with the same + care and imagination as a zebra. Apparently it does not occur to nature + whether or not a creature is within our range of vision, and the suspicion + arises that even the zebra was not designed for our benefit." + [Rudolf Arnheim] +% +"All the biblical miracles will at last + disappear with the progress of science." + [Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)] +% + "Miracles do not happen." + [Matthew Arnold, Literature and Dogma, + last words of preface to 1883 edition] +% +"It is almost impossible to exaggerate the proneness of the human mind + to take miracles as evidence, and to seek for miracles as evidence." + [Matthew Arnold, "Literature and Dogma"] +% +"We are only fabulous + beasts, after all." + [John Ashbery] +% +"Whatever the Life-Goddess Eve was originally like, she appears in + Genesis as a Hebrew Pandora, the villainess in a story about the origin + of human misfortune....She has dwindled to being merely the first woman, + a troublemaker, created from a rib of the senior and dominant first man." + [Geoffrey Ashe, "The Virgin," 1976] +% +"I've come to the conclusion that there can be little or no dialogue + between 'proclaimers of truth' (religious and secular ideologues) + and 'discoverers of truth' (empiricists). The former tend to debate, + the latter tend to discuss." + [Edward H. Ashment] +% +"Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to + be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition." + [Isaac Asimov] +% +"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always + been premature, and it remains premature today." + [Isaac Asimov] +% +"Imagine the people who believe such things and who are not ashamed to ignore, + totally, all the patient findings of thinking minds through all the centuries + since the Bible was written. And it is these ignorant people, the most + uneducated, the most unimaginative, the most unthinking among us, who would + make themselves the guides and leaders of us all; who would force their + feeble and childish beliefs on us; who would invade our schools and libraries + and homes. I personally resent it bitterly and warn the people of Canada..." + [Isaac Asimov, Canadian Atheists Newsletter, 1994] +% +"To rebel against a powerful political, economic, religious, or social + establishment is very dangerous and very few people do it, except, perhaps, + as part of a mob. To rebel against the "scientific" establishment, however, + is the easiest thing in the world, and anyone can do it and feel enormously + brave, without risking as much as a hangnail. Thus, the vast majority, who + believe in astrology and think that the planets have nothing better to do + than form a code that will tell them whether tomorrow is a good day to close + a business deal or not, become all the more excited and enthusiastic about + the bilge when a group of astronomers denounces it." + [Isaac Asimov] +% +"...if I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose +to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the +pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous +atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose +every deed is foul, foul, foul." + [Isaac Asimov, _I. Asimov: A Memoir_] +% +"As it happens, Josephus, who mentions John the Baptist, does not mention + Jesus. There is, to be sure, a paragraph in his history of the Jews which + is devoted to Jesus, but it interrupts the flow of the discourse and seems + suspiciously like an afterthought. Scholars generally believe this to + have been an insertion by some early Christian editor who, scandalized + that Joesphus should talk of the period without mentioning the Messiah, + felt the insertion to be a pious act." + [Isaac Asimov, _Asimov's Guide To The Bible_ ISBN 0-517-34582-X] +% +"Although the time of death is approaching me, I am not afraid of dying + and going to Hell or (what would be considerably worse) going to the + popularized version of Heaven. I expect death to be nothingness and, for + removing me from all possible fears of death, I am thankful to atheism." + [Isaac Asimov, "On Religiosity", Free Inquiry] +% +"We owe it to ourselves as respectable human beings, as thinking human + beings, to do what we can to make humanity more rational...Humanists + recognize that it is only when people feel free to think for themselves, + using reason as their guide, that they are best capable of developing + values that succeed in satisfying human needs and serving human interests." + [Isaac Asimov] +% +"It is rather remarkable that such a deed would be overlooked when + many more far less wicked deeds of Herod were carefully described." + [Isaac Asimov, "Guide to the Bible", on Herod's allegedly + killing all young male children to prevent the messiah] +% +"No other country has as diverse religious groups as the U.S., which + has at least 52 major denominations with memberships exceeding 100,000. + The Yearbook of American and Canadian Churches lists 223 sects, cults, + and denominations, not counting groups such as the First Church of + Christ, Scientist, which provide no membership statistics." + [Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts] +% +"Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is + something you dreamt up after being drunk all night." + [Isaac Asimov] +% +"I certainly don't believe in the mythologies of our society, in heaven and + hell, in God and angels, in Satan and demons. I've thought of myself as an + 'atheist,' but that simply described what I didn't believe in, not what I + did. Gradually, though, I became aware there was a movement called 'humanism,' + which used that name because, to put it most simply, humanists believe that + human beings produced the progressive advance of human society and also the + ills that plague it. They believe that if the ills are to be alleviated, it + is humanity that will have to do the job. They disbelieve in the influence + of the supernatural on either the good or the bad of society." + [Isaac Asimov, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, + Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by + James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"The fundamentalists deny that evolution has taken place; they deny that + the earth and the universe as a whole are more than a few thousand years + old, and so on. There is ample scientific evidence that the fundamentalists + are wrong in these matters, and that their notions of cosmogony have about + as much basis in fact as the Tooth Fairy has." + [Isaac Asimov, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, + Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by + James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"I am not responsible for what other people think. I am responsible only + for what I myself think, and I know what that is. No idea I've ever come + up with has ever struck me as a divine revelation. Nothing I have ever + observed leads me to think there is a God watching over me." + [Isaac Asimov, "Religiosity", from Isaac + Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine Jan. 1992] +% +"The bible must be seen in a cultural context. It didn't just + happen. These stories are retreads. But, tell a Christian that + -- No, No! What makes it doubly sad is that they hardly know + the book, much less its origins." + [Isaac Asimov] +% +"I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole + life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the + tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse." + [Isaac Asimov] +% +"Naturally, since [the Sumerians] didn't know what caused the flood + anymore than we do, they blamed the gods. (That's the advantage of + religion. You're never short an explanation for anything.)" + [Isaac Asimov, in essay "The Last Man on Earth", + 1982, reprinted in his essay collection "The + Tyrannosaurus Prescription"] +% +"...anger is the common substitute for logic among those who + have no evidence for what they desperately want to believe." + [Isaac Asimov, in essay "Hobgoblin", 1980, reprinted in + his essay collection "The Tyrannosaurus Prescription"] +% +"Every religion seems like a fantasy to outsiders, + but as holy truth to those of the faith." + [Isaac Asimov, in essay "Is Fantasy Forever", + 1982, reprinted in his essay collection + "The Tyrannosaurus Prescription"] +% +"Properly read, the Bible is the most + potent force for atheism ever conceived." + [Isaac Asimov] +% +"So the universe is not quite as you thought it was. + You'd better rearrange your beliefs, then. + Because you certainly can't rearrange the universe." + [Isaac Asimov & Robert Silverberg _Nightfall_] +% +"It seems to me that it's insulting to human beings to imply that + only a system of rewards and punishments can keep you a decent + human being...I have a conscience. It doesn't depend on religion." + [Isaac Asimov] +% +"It's rather a shame. Now that the creationists are deprived of their + chance of burning people at the stake, their best argument is gone." + [Isaac Asimov, "Life and Time," 1979] +% +"It is precisely because it is fashionable for Americans to know no science, + even though they may be well educated otherwise, that they so easily fall + prey to nonsense. They thus become part of the armies of the night, the + purveyors of nitwittery, the retailers of intellectual junk food, the + feeders on mental cardboard, for their ignorance keeps them from + distinguishing nectar from sewage." + [Isaac Asimov, "The Armies of the Night"] +% +"Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight + for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued + defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the + rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual + we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand + who hug superstition to their breasts." + [Isaac Asimov, when asked why he fights religion with no hope for victory] +% +"In medieval times, church bells were often consecrated to ward off + evil spirits. Because thunderstorms were attributed to the work + of demons, the bells would be rung in an attempt to stop the storms. + Lots of bellringers were killed by lightning." + ["Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts" © 1979] +% +"We will inevitably recede into the backwater of civilization, and + those nations that retain opened scientific thought will take over the + leadership of the world and the cutting edge of human advancement. I + don't suppose that the creationists really plan the decline of the + United States, but their loudly expressed patriotism is as + simpleminded as their "science." If they succeed, they will, in their + folly, achieve the opposite of what they say they wish." + [Isaac Asimov, 'The "Threat" of Creationism', + essay in "Science and Creationism," 1984 + http://www.freethought-web.org/ctrl/azimov_creationism.html] +% +"My aim is to argue that the universe can come into existence without + intervention, and that there is no need to invoke the idea of a + Supreme Being in one of its numerous manifestations." + [Peter William Atkins, preface to _The Creation_] +% +"Someone with a fresh mind, one not conditioned by upbringing and + environment, would doubtless look at science and the powerful + reductionism that it inspires as overwhelmingly the better mode of + understanding the world, and would doubtless scorn religion as + sentimental wishful thinking. Would not that same uncluttered mind also + see the attempts to reconcile science and religion by disparaging the + reduction of the complex to the simple as attempts guided by + muddle-headed sentiment and intellectually dishonest emotion?" + [P. W. Atkins, "The Limitless Power of Science" essay in "Nature's + Imagination", John Cornwell, ed.; 1995 Oxford University Press, p.123] +% +"Religion closes off the central questions of existence by attempting to + dissuade us from further enquiry by asserting that we cannot ever hope to + comprehend. We are, religion asserts, simply too puny. Through fear of + being shown to be vacuous, religion denies the awesome power of human + comprehension. It seeks to thwart, by encouraging awe in things unseen, + the disclosure of the emptiness of faith. Religion, in contrast to + science, deploys the repugnant view that the world is too big for our + understanding. Science, in contrast to religion, opens up the great + questions of being to rational discussion, to discussion with the + prospect of resolution and elucidation. Science, above all, respects the + power of the human intellect. Science is the apotheosis of the intellect + and the consummation of the Rennaissance. Science respects more deeply + the potential of humanity than religion ever can." + [P. W. Atkins, "The Limitless Power of Science" essay in "Nature's + Imagination", John Cornwell, ed.; 1995 Oxford University Press, p.125] +% +"It's a vacuous answer . . . To say that 'God made the world' is + simply a more or less sophisticated way of saying that we don't + understand how the universe originated. A god, in so far as it + is anything, is an admission of ignorance." + [Peter Atkins, British Association + for the Advancement of Science] +% +"I enjoy a little christian-bashing, now and then." + [Atlanta Freethought Society member survey] +% +"People everywhere enjoy believing things that they know are + not true. It spares them the ordeal of thinking for themselves + and taking responsibility for what they know." + [Brook Atkinson, "Once Around the Sun"] +% +"Atheists!? I bet you're feeling a right bunch of charlies..... + And Christians!? Over here please. Yes, you see, I'm afraid + that the jews were right after all." + [Rowan Atkinson as The Devil (or 'Toby') + welcoming new arrivals to Hell] +% +"The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make + empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made + a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the + bonds of Hell." + [Saint Augustine] +% +"Often a non-Christian knows something about the earth, the heavens, and + the other parts of the world, about the motions and orbits of the stars and + even their sizes and distances,... and this knowledge he holds with + certainty from reason and experience. It is thus offensive and disgraceful + for an unbeliever to hear a Christian talk nonsense about such things, + claiming that what he is saying is based in Scripture. We should do all + that we can to avoid such an embarrassing situation, which people see as + ignorance in the Christian and laugh to scorn." + [St. Augustine, "De Genesi ad litteram libri duodecim" + (The Literal Meaning of Genesis)] +% +"I feel that nothing so casts down the manly mind from + it's height as the fondling of women and those bodily + contacts which belong to the married state." + [St. Augustine, De Trinitate 7.7] +% +"All diseases of Christians are to be ascribed to demons; + chiefly do they torment freshly-baptized Christians, + yea, even the guiltless new-born infants." + [Saint Augustine (354-430)] +% +"It is indeed better (as no one ever could deny) that men should be led to + worship God by teaching, than that they should be driven to it by fear of + punishment or pain; but it does not follow that because the former course + produces the better men, therefore those who do not yield to it should be + neglected. For many have found advantage (as we have proved, and are daily + proving by actual experiment), in being first compelled by fear or pain, so + that they might afterwards be influenced by teaching, or might follow + out in act what they had already learned in word." + [St. Augustine, Treatise on the + Correction of the Donatists (417), p.214] +% +"Nothing is so much to be shunned as sex relations." + [St. Augustine (354-430), "Soliloquies"] +% +"Women should not be enlightened or educated in any way. + They should, in fact, be segregated as they are the cause + of hideous and involuntary erections in holy men." + [St. Augustine] +% +"This then is not God, if thou has comprehended it; + but if this be God, thou hast not comprehended it." + [St. Augustine, "Sermo LII"] +% +"It is impossible that there should be inhabitants on the + opposite side of the Earth, since no such race is recorded + by Scripture among the descendants of Adam." + [St. Augustine, from "The Dark Side of Christian + History" by Linda Ellerbe, 1995, Morningstar Books] +% +"Any woman who does not give birth to as many + children as she is capable is guilty of murder." + [St. Augustine] +% +"If anyone can show me, and prove to me, that I am wrong in + thought or deed, I will gladly change. I seek the truth, + which never yet hurt anybody. It is only persistence in + self-delusion and ignorance which does harm." + [Marcus Aurelius] +% +"God loves all his children, by gum. + That don't mean he won't incinerate some. + Can't you feel those hot flames licking you..." + [Austin Lounge Lizards, "Jesus Loves Me"] +% +"A prevalent fallacy is the assumption that a proof of an after-life would + also be a proof of the existence of a deity. This is far from being the case. + If - as I hold -there is no good reason to believe that a god either created + or presides over this world, there is equally no good reason to believe that + a god created or presides over the next world, on the unlikely supposition + that such a thing exists." + [Sir A. J. Ayer, in the Sunday Telegraph, Aug. 28, 1988, pg. 5] +% +"The fact that people have religious experiences is interesting from + the psychological point of view, but it does not in any way imply that + there is such a thing as religious knowledge...Unless he can formulate + his "knowldege" in propositions that are empirically verifiable, we + may be sure that he is deceiving himself." + [A. J. Ayer, "Language, Truth and Logic"] +% +"Religious Cult: The church down the street from yours." + [_B.C._ cartoon, 30 April 1994] +% +"The earth is flat, and anyone who disputes this claim + is an atheist who deserves to be punished." + [Muslim religious edict, 1993 + Sheik Abdel-Aziz Ibn Baaz + Supreme religious authority, Saudi Arabia] +% +"For they heard that command of our Creator, if they truly listened to + His instructions to be responsible stewards, then their entire framework + of human rationalizations for tearing apart Act comes to naught" + [U.S. Secretary of the Interior Bruce Babbitt, using + religious arguments to defend the 1973 Endangered Species + Act from conservatives who wish to limit or abolish it] +% +"The general root of superstition is that men observe when things hit, and + not when they miss and commit to memory the one, and pass over the other." + [Sir Francis Bacon] +% +"Atheism leaves a man to sense, to philosophy, to natural piety, to + laws, to reputation, all which may be guides to an outward moral + virtue, though religion were not; but superstition dismounts all + these, and erects an absolute monarchy in the minds of men...the + master of superstition is the people; and arguments are fitted to + practice, in a reverse order." + [Sir Francis Bacon "Of Superstition"] +% +"A bad man is worse when he pretends to be a saint." + [Francis Bacon] +% +"The trinitarian believes a virgin to be + the mother of a son who is her maker." + [Sir Francis Bacon, quoted in "2000 Years of + Disbelief, Famous People with the Courage to + Doubt", by James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"People prefer to believe what they prefer to be true." + [Francis Bacon] +% +"Hey Brother Christian with your high and mighty errand + Your actions speak so loud I can't hear a word you're saying(...) + Hey Moral Soldier you've got righteous proclamations + And precious tomes to fuel your pulpy conflagrations" + [Bad Religion, "I want to conquer the world"] +% +"I don't know what stopped Jesus Christ + from turning every hungry stone into bread, + And I don't remember hearing how Moses reacted + when the innocent first born sons lay dead, + Well I guess God was a bit more demonstrative + back when he flamboyantly parted the sea, + Now everybody's praying, Don't prey on me." + [Bad Religion, "Don't Pray on Me", + on the Recipe for Hate album] +% +"And I want to conquer the world, + Give all the idiots a brand new religion..." + [Bad Religion] +% +"Life ever-after is what they're in business for + See them brandish the key to their kingdom's door + It's persuasive upon a part of you and me + But not overwhelming as they wish it to be + If no one believed in faery tales + There's nothing they could do but fail" + [Bad Religion, "Operation Rescue"] +% +"No one really knows why we die + No one gets a break, so we try + Ignoring mortality, we worship mediocrity + And wait to see what happens up on high" + [Bad Religion, "In so Many Ways"] +% +"Speak of Truth with a mighty voice + But politics are your real choice + Hire men to change the Law + Protect and serve with one small flaw + The Voice of God is government!" + [Bad Religion] +% +"So long as there are earnest believers in the world, they will + always wish to punish opinions, even if their judgment tells them + it is unwise and their conscience that it is wrong." + [Walter Bagehot, Literary Studies] +% +"When someone comes and proselytizes for another god or another final authority + (and by the way, that god may be man)--when someone tries to undermine the + commitment to Jehovah which is fundamental to the civil order of a godly + state--then that person needs to be restrained by the magistrate. However, + this does not mean that individuals should be punished for holding heretical + views, the views that Baptists think are heretical or Lutherans think are + heretical and so forth. It simply means that those who will not acknowledge + Jehovah as the ultimate authority behind the civil law code which the + magistrate is enforcing would be punished and repressed. You would, therefore, + be open, I believe, to hold Muslim views or Hindu views in the privacy of your + own home, provided it was not a Christian home that you've now come into to + subvert and draw away from Jehovah. You would be able to hold these views as a + private conviction. But you would not be allowed to proselytize and undermine + the order of the state. Before people who are non-theonomists get too terribly + upset about this view, I would at least ask them to reflect on this fact: + every civil order protects its foundations." + [Greg Bahnsen, Christian Reconstructionist, in "An Interview + with Greg L. Bahnsen," Calvinism Today, Jan. 1994, p. 23] +% +"On the other hand, in a theonomic society the civil government would + promote virtues that it often works against today. It would reinstitute + laws protecting the observance of the Sabbath." + [Greg Bahnsen, God and Politics, ed. by Gary Scott Smith, + (New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed, 1989), p. 263] +% +"For Christianity, the world must be regarded as the "creation" of a + kind of Superman, a person possessing all the human excellences to an + infinite degree and none of the human weaknesses, Who has made man in His + image, a feeble, mortal, foolish copy of Himself. In creating the universe, + God acts as a sort of playwright-cum-legislator-cum-judge-cum-executioner." + [Kurt E. M. Baier, "The Meaning of Life"] +% +"...Jesus was almost certainly not 'of Nazareth'. An overwhelming + body of evidence indicates that Nazareth did not exist in biblical + times. The town is unlikely to have appeared before the third century." + [Baigent, Leigh and Lincoln, _The Messianic Legacy_] +% +"Why is it that Christianity more than any other of the + world's religions has succumbed to the racist disease?" + [John Austin Baker, the former Bishop of Salisbury UK, + Theology and Racism, quoted by Edward Patey, Dean of + Liverpool Cathedral in "Questions for Today", 1986, p81] +% +"It's not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific + calling from God, is to be a television talk-show host." + [James Bakker] +% +"I wake up every morning and I wish I were dead, and so does Jim." + [Tammy Fae Bakker] +% +"...and now we're down to our last $37,000." + + "But just last week you said you were down to your last $50,000, + what happened to $13,000 since then?" + +"Uh...um...I don't know." + [Tammy Fae Bakker] +% +"You can educate yourself right out of a relationship with God." + [Tammy Faye Bakker (1942-), U.S. television evangelist, + former co-host of PTL TV ministry and wife of Jim Bakker + who was imprisoned for defrauding his followers. + From "Observer" (London), 28 Feb. 1988] +% +"There's times when I just have to quit thinking... and + the only way I can quit thinking is by shopping." + [Tammy Faye Bakker, in "And I Quote," + by Ashton Applewhite, 1992] +% +"I take Him shopping with me. I say, "OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain." + [Tammy Faye Bakker, from "Food for Thought," + internet collection by Jack Tourette] +% +"You don't have to be dowdy to be a Christian." + [Tammy Faye Bakker, "Newsweek," 8 Jun. 1987] +% +"I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist." + [Tammy Faye Bakker, in "And I Quote," + by Ashton Applewhite, 1992] +% +"A Boss in Heavan is the best excuse for a boss on earth, + therefore If God did exist, he would have to be abolished." + [Mikhail Aleksandrovich Bakunin (1814-1876) Russian + anarchist, atheist author, and founder of Nihilism, + from "God and the State", 1874] +% +"The idea of God implies the abdication of human reason and justice; + it is the most decisive negation of human liberty and necessarily + ends in the enslavement of mankind both in theory and practice. He + who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about + the matter but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity." + [Mikhail Bakunin, from "Federalism, + Socialism, and Anti-Theologism"] +% +"All religions, with their gods, demigods, prophets, messiahs + and saints, are the product of the fancy and credulity of men + who have not yet reached the full development and complete + personality of their intellectual powers." + [Mikhail A. Bakunin, "God and the State" (Dieu et l'etat) + 1874, from James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief] +% +"But here steps in Satan, the eternal rebel, the first free-thinker and + emancipator of worlds. He makes man ashamed of his bestial ignorance and + obedience; he emancipates him, stamps upon his brow the seal of liberty and + humanity, in urging him to disobey and eat of the fruit of knowledge." + [Bakunin, _God and the State_ (1874)] +% +"A jealous lover of human liberty, deeming it the absolute + condition of all that we admire and respect in humanity, I + reverse the phrase of Voltaire and say, 'if God really + existed, it would be necessary to abolish him.'" + [Mikhail Bakunin, "God and the State", 1874] +% +"If God is, man is a slave; now, man can and + must be free; then, God does not exist." + I defy anyone whomsoever to avoid this circle; + now, therefore, let all choose." + [Mikhail Bakunin, "God and the State", 1874] +% +"They [religious idealists] say in a single breath: "God and the liberty + of man," "God and the dignity, justice, equality, fraternity, prosperity + of men" -- regardless of the fatal logic by virtue of which, if God + exists, all these things are condemned to nonexistence. For, if God is, + he is necessarily the eternal, supreme, absolute master, and, if such a + master exists, man is a slave. Now, if he is a slave, neither justice, + nor equality, nor fraternity, nor prosperity are possible for him. In + vain, flying in the face of good sense and all the teachings of history, + do they represent their God as animated by the tenderest love of human + liberty. A master, whoever he may be and however liberal he may desire + to show himself, remains none the less always a master." + [Mikhail Bakunin, "God and the State", 1874] +% +"With the name of God they imagine that they can establish fraternity among + men, and on the contrary, they create pride, contempt; they sow discord, + hatred, war; they establish slavery. For with God came the different + degrees of divine inspiration; humanity is divided into men highly inspired, + less inspired, uninspired. All are equally insignificant before God, it is + true; but compared with each other, some are greater than others; not only + in fact- which would be of no consequence, because inequality in fact is + lost in the collectivity when it cannot cling to some legal fiction or + institution- but by the divine right of inspiration, which immediately + establishes a fixed, constant, petrifying inequality. The highly inspired + must be listened to and obeyed by the less inspired, and the less inspired + by the uninspired. Thus we have the principle of authority well established, + and with it the two fundamental institutions of slavery: Church and State." + [Mikhail Bakunin, "Church and State", 1872, p. 53] +% +"For ten centuries Christianity, armed with the omnipotence of the Church + and State and opposed by no competition, was able to deprave, debase, and + falsify the mind of Europe. It had no competitors, because outside the + Church there was neither thinkers nor educated persons. It along taught, + it alone spoke and wrote, it alone taught." + [Mikhail Bakunin, "Church and State", 1872, p. 78] +% +"The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, + of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, + we will be slaves on earth." + [Mikhail A. Bakunin, "God and the State," from + James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief] +% +"Christianity is the complete negation of common sense and sound reason." + [Mikhail A. Bakunin, God and the State, from + James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief] +% +"All temporal or human authority proceeds directly from spiritual authority. + But authority is the negation of liberty. God, or rather the fiction of God, + is thus the sanction and the intellectual and moral cause of all the slavery + on earth, and the liberty of men will not be complete, unless it will + have completely annihilated the inauspicious fiction of a heavenly master." + [Mikhail A. Bakunin, Oeuvres, Vol. I, p. 283] +% +"Replacing the cult of God by respect and love of humanity, we + proclaim human reason as the only criterion of truth; human + conscience as the basis of justice; individual and collective + freedom as the only source of order in society." + [Bakunin, "Revolutionary Catechism" in _Bakunin on Anarchy_] +% +"...the Bible as we have it contains elements that are scientifically + incorrect or even morally repugnant. No amount of "explaining away" + can convince us that such passages are the product of Divine Wisdom." + [Bernard J. Bamberger, _The Story of Judaism_] +% +"Love your drag, honey, but did you know your purse is on fire?" + [Tallulah Bankhead, to the censer preceding + the bishop up the aisle at Catholic service] +% +"Reason shapes the future, but superstition infects the present." + [Iain M Banks] +% +"The very concept of sin comes from the bible. Christianity offers to + solve a problem of its own making! Would you be thankful to a person + who cut you with a knife in order to sell you a bandage?" + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"How happy can you be when you think every action and + thought is being monitored by a judgmental ghost?" + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"You can cite a hundred references to show that the biblical God is a + bloodthirsty tyrant, but if they can dig up two or three verses that say + "God is love," they will claim that *you* are taking things out of context!" + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"I do understand what love is, and that is one of the reasons I can never + again be a Christian. Love is not self denial. Love is not blood and + suffering. Love is not murdering your son to appease your own vanity. + Love is not hatred or wrath, consigning billions of people to eternal + torture because they have offended your ego or disobeyed your rules. + Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love + that iscontingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is + respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a + healthy, unafraid human being." + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"I have something to say to the religionist who feels atheists never say + anything positive: You are an intelligent human being. Your life is + valuable for its own sake. You are not second-class in the universe, + deriving meaning and purpose from some other mind. You are not inherently + evil--you are inherently human, possessing the positive rational potential + to help make this a world of morality, peace and joy. Trust yourself." + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"There is joy in rationality, happiness in clarity of mind. + Freethought is thrilling and fulfilling--absolutely essential + to mental health and happiness." + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"It's not easy to change world views. Faith has its own momentum and belief + is comfortable. To restructure reality is traumatic and scary. That is why + many intelligent people continue to believe: unbelief is an unknown." + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"For my money, I'll bet on reason and humanistic kindness. Even if I am wrong + I will have enjoyed my life, the existence of which is under little dispute." + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"The longer I have been an atheist, the more amazed + I am that I ever believed Christian notions." + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"Not thinking critically, I assumed that the "successful" prayers + were proof that God answers prayer while the failures were proof + that there was something wrong with me." + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"To think that the ruler of the universe will run to my assistance + and bend the laws of nature for me is the height of arrogance." + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"Without "The Law of Moses" would we all be wandering around like little gods, + stealing, raping, and spilling blood whenever our vanity was offended?" + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"Truth does not demand belief. Scientists do not join hands every Sunday, + singing, "yes, gravity is real! I will have faith! I will be strong! I + believe in my heart that what goes up, up, up must come down, down. down. + Amen!" If they did, we would think they were pretty insecure about it." + [ex-preacher Dan Barker] +% +"Just say NO to religion." + [Dan Barker] +% +"You keep accusing me of blasphemy all of the time, + But I cannot be convicted of a victimless crime." + [Dan Barker] +% +"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, + demons, sticks turning into snakes, food falling from the sky, people + walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive + stories, and you say that _we_ are the ones that need help?" + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"] +% +"Faith is a cop-out. It is intellectual bankruptcy. If the + only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then + you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits." + [Dan Barker Former evangelist, author, critic] +% +"I am an atheist because there is no evidence for the existence of God. + That should be all that needs to be said about it: no evidence, no belief." + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist"] +% +"If the answers to prayer are merely what God wills all along, then why pray?" + [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist"] +% +"We were blood brothers, pals forever. He was my very best friend. + Nobody else could see him. I now know he was just pretend." + [Dan Barker] +% +"I threw out all the bath water, and there was no baby there." + [Dan Barker, referring to the Bible in a debate, 1989] +% +"God is the anthropomorphized Aesop character who represents the + culmination of all the guilt (i.e. vulnerability) we feel whenever + our own megalomaniacal self-support structure (sense of internal reality + control) fails to distract us from the dread of our imminent demise." + [Br0d Barkett] +% +"If there were a god, there would be no need for religion. + If there were not a god, there would be no need for religion." + [Ron Barrier, Rbargodnow@aol.com] +% +"There is no such thing as a god. If such a creature existed, + belief would be rendered unnecessary, and the entire system + of organized religion would collapse." + [Ron Barrier, Rbargodnow@aol.com] +% +"Atheism - Your Gain, No Pain!" + [Ron Barrier] +% +"God is a placebo for your own mortality." + [Robert Barron] +% +"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians + called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" + and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People + passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy + Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!" + [Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"] +% +"In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation + Man came up with for *anything* until about 1926 was stupid." + [Dave Barry] +% +"Pretty rowdy behavior for Jesus. He'd get a buzz off + the beer and go squealing out of the parking lot." + [Bartender in Waco, TX] +% +"If you have seen me cross myself, it was to Science, Art and Nature." + [Bela Bartok] +% +"There should be absolutely no 'Separation of Church and State' in America." + [David Barton, president of Wallbuilders and a close ally of + the Christian Coalition, 1994 Anti-Defamation League Report] +% +"After all, any religion that can get numerous Christians to ignore a simple + and direct command from jesus in the name of "context" obviously is going + to have a hard time with teaching better morality to everybody else. + Maybe this explains the widespread explosion of religion in America and + the widespread rise in hatefulness, racism, right winged savagery, and + widespread lack of honesty." + [William Barwell, wbarwell@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM] +% +"If a man achieves or suffers change in premises which are deeply + embedded in his mind, he will surely find that the results of that + change will ramify throughout his whole universe." + [Gegory Bateson] +% +"We are engaged in a social, political, and cultural war. There's a lot of talk + in America about pluralism. But the bottom line is somebody's values will + prevail. And the winner gets the right to teach our children what to believe." + [Gary Bauer, religious-right Family Research Council] +% +"Do you want 'Transvestite Coming Out Week?' 'Sado-masochist Coming + Out Week?' People can do all sorts of things in the privacy of their + bedrooms, and they will bear the consequences of what they do. But I + don't understand this insistence in putting it in our face." + [Gary Bauer, Pres., Family Research Council and 2000 US + Presidential candiate, from USA Today Oct. 15, 1999] +% +"Cockroach: An ugly, greasy, universally reviled, six-legged freeloader + with a fondness for procreation and leftovers. One of nature's + all-time success stories, suggesting that God must love an obscene joke." + [adapted from Rick Bayan's The Cynic's Dictionary Hearst Books, N.Y., 1992] +% +"All the idols made by man, however terrifying they may be, are in + point of fact subordinate to him, and that is why he will always have + it in his power to destroy them." + [Simone de Beauvoir, "The Second Sex", 1949] +% +"Man enjoys the great advantage of having a god endorse the code he writes; + and since man exercises a sovereign authority over women it is especially + fortunate that this authority has been vested in him by the Supreme Being. + For the Jews, Mohammedans and Christians among others, man is master by + divine right; the fear of God will therefore repress any impulse towards + revolt in the downtrodden female." + [Simone de Beauvoir, "The Second Sex", 1949] +% +"I cannot be angry at God, in whom I do not believe." + [Simone de Beauvoir, from James A. + Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief] +% +"Hey Butt-Head check this book out! There's a talking snake, + a naked chick, then some guy puts a leaf on his SCHLONG!!" + [Beavis and Butt-Head Do America] +% +"Christ came, and Christianity arose...But originating in Judaism, which + knew woman only as a being bereft of all rights, and biased by the Biblical + conception which saw in her the source of all evil, Christianity preached + contempt for women." + [August Bebel, "Woman and Socialism", 1893] +% +"We aim in the domain of politics at republicanism; in the + domain of economics at socialism; in the domain of what + is today called religion, at atheism." + [August Bebel, Summary of Views] +% +"Enough of acting the infant who has been told so often how he was found under + a cabbage that in the end he remembers the exact spot in the garden and the + kind of life he led there before joining the family circle." + [Samuel Beckett] +% +"There was never such a gigantic lie told as the fable of the Garden of Eden." + [Henry Ward Beecher, early American preacher, from + "What Great Men Think Of Religion" by Ira Cardiff] +% +"Applaud, friends, the comedy is over." + [Beethoven's sarcastic remarks after a priest's last rites as he + lay dying in 1827; the priest had been summoned by religious + friends. Fellow composer Joseph Haydn considered Beethoven an + atheist. As quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, Famous People with + the Courage to Doubt", by James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America + and to the republic for which it stands, + one nation, + indivisible, + with liberty and justice for all." + [Francis Bellamy, 1892] +% +"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous + as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin." + [Cardinal Bellarmino 1615, during the trial of Galileo] +% +"To affirm that the Sun ... is at the centre of the universe and only rotates + on its axis without going from east to west, is a very dangerous attitude and + one calculated not only to arouse all Scholastic philosophers and theologians + but also to injure our holy faith by contradicting the Scriptures" + [Cardinal Bellarmino, 17th Century Church Master Collegio Romano, + who imprisoned and tortured Galileo for his astronomical works] +% +"We are told by the church that we have accomplished nothing... Is it a + small thing to make men truly free, to destroy the dogmas of ignorance, + prejudice and power, the poisoned fables of superstition, and drive from + the beautiful face of earth the fiend of fear?" + [D. M. Bennett, _Champions of the Church_] +% +"Faith - the ability to believe the ridiculous for the sublime." + [Rich Bennett] +% +"No power of government ought to be employed in the endeavor to + establish any system or article of belief on the subject of religion." + [Jeremy Bentham, Constitutional Code from George + Seldes, The Great Quotations 1967, p. 813] +% +"Miracles happen to those who believe in them. Otherwise + why does not the Virgin Mary appear to Lamaists, Mohammedans, + or Hindus who have never heard of her." + [Bernard Berenson (1865-1959), + New York Times Book Review] +% +"Homo sapiens, the only creature endowed with reason, is also + the only creature to pin its existence on things unreasonable." + [Henri Bergson, "Two Sources + of Morality and Religion," 1935] +% +"For what is it but an exquisite and priceless chance of salvation + due to God alone, that the omnipotent should deign to summon to + His service, as though they were innocent, murderers, ravishers, + adulterers, perjurers, and those guilty of every crime?" + [St. Bernard, appeal for recruits for the Second Crusade, + quoted by Brooks Adams, _The Law of Civilization and + Decay_ (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., 1943), p. 144] +% +"The Christian glories in the death of a pagan, + because thereby Christ himself is glorified." + [Saint Bernard of Clairvaux] +% +"Culture is powerfully conservative. It enforces obedience to authority, + the authority of parents, of history, of custom, of superstition." + [Richard Bernstein, "Dictatorship of Virtue"] +% +"The proper place for the study of religious beliefs is in a church or temple, + at home, or in a course on comparative religions, but not in a biology + class. There is no place in our world for an ideology that seeks to close + minds, force obedience, and return the world to a paradise that never was. + Students should learn that the universe can be confronted and understood, + that ideas and authority should be questioned, that an open mind is a good + thing. Education does not exist to confirm people's superstitions, and + children do not learn to think when they are fed only dogma." + [Tim Berra, "Evolution and the Myth of Creationism"] +% +"Fundamentalists long for the return of a more moral America, an America + that may never have been. All around them they see what they perceive as + declining morality and spirituality. They reason that if humans share + ancestry with the other animals, we have no reason to behave as anything + other than animals. This view neglects the fact that humans are the only + known animals with the ability to contemplate the consequences of their own + actions. It also fails to recognize that there is a great deal of good in + the world, the nightly news notwithstanding. Crime existed long before the + theory of evolution, even before the writing of the Bible, and biologists + do not like crime any more than the creationists do. Evolutionary theory is + not a license to run amok, and neither is a belief in the literal + interpretation of the Bible a guarantor of moral behavior." + [Tim Berra, "Evolution and the Myth of Creationism"] +% +"About 200 B.C. mystery cults began to appear in Rome just as they had + earlier in Greece. Most notable was the Cybele cult centered on Vatican + hill ... Associated with the Cybele cult was that of her lover, Attis + (the older Tammuz, Osiris, Dionysus, or Orpheus under a new name). He + was a god of ever-reviving vegetation. Born of a virgin, he died and was + reborn annually. The festival began as a day of blood on Black Friday + and culminated after three days in a day of rejoicing over the resurrection." + [Gerald L. Berry, "Religions of the World"] +% +"Modern societies march towards morality in + proportion as they leave religion behind." + [Paul Bert] +% +"[N]o philosophy, no religion, has ever brought so glad a + message to the world as this good news of Atheism." + [Annie Besant, "The Gospel of Atheism"] +% +"I do not believe in God. My mind finds no grounds on which to build up a + reasonable faith. My heart revolts against the spectre of an Almighty + Indifference to the pain of sentient beings. My conscience rebels against + the injustice, the cruelty, the inequality, which surround me on every + side. But I believe in Man. In man's redeeming power; in man's remoulding + energy; in man's approaching triumph, through knowledge, love and work." + [Annie Besant (1847-1933)] +% +"Never yet has a God been defined in terms which were not palpably + self-contradictory and absurd; never yet has a God been described + so that a concept of Him was made possible to human thought." + [Annie Besant] +% +"I think it was Whitehead who said that religion is whatever a + person does when alone. I'd say that religion is whatever a + person does with their life. In either case, the national + religion of America is television and jacking off." + [Carl Bettis] +% +"While it cannot be proved retrospectively that any experience of possession, + conversion, revelation, or divine ecstasy was merely an epileptic discharge, + we must ask how one differentiates "real transcendence" from neuropathies + that produce the same extreme realness, profundity, ineffability, and sense + of cosmic unity. When accounts of sudden religious conversions in TLEs + (temporal-lobe epileptics) are laid alongside the epiphanous revelations of + the religious tradition, the parallels are striking. The same is true of + the recent spate of alleged UFO abductees. Parsimony alone argues against + invoking spirits, demons, or extraterrestrials when natural causes will + suffice." + [Barry L. Beyerstein, "Neuropathology and the Legacy of Spiritual + Possession", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII, No. 3, pg. 255] +% +"As a man can drink water from any side of a full tank, so the skilled + theologian can wrest from any scripture that which will serve his purpose." + [Bhagavad Gita [The Lord's Song] (250 B.C.-A.D. 250)] +% +"If you love god, burn a church" + [Jello Biafra] +% +"...balance the budget? Tax religion." + [Jello Biafra] +% +"Can God fill teeth?" + [Jello Biafra] +% +"Christianity is like tying a rubber hose around + your common sense and shooting up with God." + [Jello Biafra] +% +"See god? That is the easiest thing in the world. He always + appears to me in the bottom of the tenth glass of beer... and + sometimes as a beautiful, young, female nude." + [theologian Franz Bibfeldt on the reality of visions] +% +"It is of course always best to be led by god, and have him + personally whisper into your ear. Only, when it is the devil + talking he will tell you he is god, for the devil is a crafty + liar. So you never know who is talking to you." + [German-born Theologian Franz Bibfeldt + in his magnum opus "Vielleicht"] +% +"Any idiot can believe in Jesus H. Christ. To truly understand all + that confusion in the gospels takes a real contortionist scholar." + [Franz Bibfeldt, German theologian] +% +"What, me worry about the historical Jesus? The gospel writers made up their + story; the church fathers invented the virgin birth on the winter solstice; + the pope thought up the immaculate conception; so I can imagine any damn + thing I please about Jesus, or the Spook, or about the big guy himself." + [Theologian Franz Bibfeldt, on how to write religious history] +% +"Christianity: + An invisible and all-knowing friend of mine made our male ancestor out of + dirt, and made our female ancestor out of his rib, but our ancestors were + tempted by a snake which was actually an enemy of my invisible friend and + they ate a forbidden apple, so now all of us go to burn forever after we + die unless we believe that my friend's son's blood is on us and in us and + that this son died and rose zombie-like from the dead and floated up to + heaven and sent his ghost to live inside of us. He is coming soon!" + [Biblical Errancy list] +% +Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of + a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +"Religions are conclusions for which the + facts of nature supply no major premises." + [Ambrose Bierce, "Collected Works" (1912)] +% +Evangelist, n., + A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as + assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbours. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +Scriptures: The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished + from the false and profane writings on which all other + faiths are based. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +Religion, n: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to + Ignorance the Nature of the Unknowable. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +Christian, n.: + One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired + book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who + follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent + with a life of sin. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks + without knowledge, of things without parallel. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian + religion; in Constantinople, one who does. + [Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), American author] +% +"Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made + for man -- who has no gills." + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of + their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while + you expound on yours. + [Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author] +% +Clergyman, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual + affairs as a method of better his temporal ones. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to + meditate upon the sin of idleness. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary] +% +Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world. + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +"The pig is taught by sermons and epistles, + To think the god of swine has snout and bristles." + [Ambrose Bierce, "The Devils Dictionary"] +% +"Immortality, A toy which people cry for, + And on their knees apply for, + Dispute, contend and lie for, + And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for." + [Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)] +% +"Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by + enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an + expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears." + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +"Mammon: the god of the world's leading religion." + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +"Prophecy: the art and practice of selling one's + credibility for future delivery." + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +"Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed + all that he knew. The revealing is done by the + commentators, who know nothing." + [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911] +% +"Take not God's name in vain -- select + A time when it will have effect." + [Ambrose Bierce, "The + Devil's Dictionary"] +% +"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment + of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." + [First Amendment, Bill of Rights, U.S. Constitution] +% +"The true fanatic is a theocrat, someone who sees himself as acting on + behalf of some superpersonal force: the Race, the Party, History, the + proletariat, the Poor, and so on. These absolve him from evil, hence + he may safely do anything in their service. + [Lloyd Billingsley. "Religion's Rebel + Son: Fanaticism in Our Time"] +% +"Religion is a means of exploitation employed by the strong against + the weak; religion is a cloak of ambition, injustice and vice." + [Georges Bizet, letter to Edmond Galabert, 1866] +% +"None of the people who claim to have found God have given us any reason + to accept that they have, indeed, found anything but their own delusions." + [Kelsey Bjarnason] +% +"One would no more join Christianity to show love and acceptance + than one would become a Nazi to show racial tolerance." + [Kelsey Bjarnason] +% +"Never before have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded + perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the Church?" + [Black Adder II] +% +Witchsmeller: "You are a witch." + Edmund: "You are a quack." +Witchsmeller: "A what?" + Edmund: "Quack, QUACK". +Witchsmeller: [turning to crowd] "BEHOLD how the evil spirit + of the duck speaks through him. He is indeed a witch" +Crowd: "Burn him, burn him!" + [Black Adder, starring Rowan Atkinson as Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh, + accused of being a witch by the Witchsmeller Pursuivant] +% +"Babble about 'The wages of sin' serves to cover up 'the sin of wages'. We + want rights, not rites -- sex, not sects. Only Eros and Eris belong in our + pantheon. Surely the Nazarene necrophile has had his revenge by now. + Remember, pain is just God's way of hurting you." + [Bob Black, "The Abolition of Work"] +% +"The "establishment of religion" clause of the First Amendment means at + least this: neither a state nor the Federal Government can set up a church. + Neither can pass laws which aid one religion, aid all religions, or prefer + one religion over another. Neither can force nor influence a person to go + to or remain away from church against his will or force him to profess a + belief or disbelief in any religion." + [U.S. Supreme Court Justice Hugo Black, Majority opinion + Everson v. Board of Education 330 U.S. 1 (1947)] +% +"No person can be punished for entertaining or professing religious + beliefs or disbeliefs, for church attendance or nonattendance." + [U.S. Supreme Court justice Hugo Black, Majority opinion + Everson v. Board of Education 330 U.S. 1 (1947)] +% +"No tax in any amount, large or small, can be levied to support any + religious activities or institutions, whatever they may be called, + or whatever form they may adopt to teach or practice religion." + [Hugo L. Black, U.S. Supreme Court Justice, majority opinion + in Everson v. Board of Education, 330 U.S. 1 (1947)] +% +"Neither a state nor the Federal Government can, openly or secretly, + participate in the affairs of any religious organizations or groups + and vice versa. In the words of Jefferson, the clause against + establishment of religion by law was intended to erect 'a wall of + separation between church and state.'" + [Hugo L. Black, U.S. Supreme Court Justice, majority opinion + in Everson v. Board of Education, 330 U.S. 1 (1947)] +% +"The First Amendment has erected a wall between church and + state. That wall must be kept high and impregnable. We + could not approve the slightest breach." + [Hugo L. Black, U.S. Supreme Court Justice, + majority opinion in Everson v. Board of + Education, 330 U.S. 1 (1947),last words] +% +"Its first and most immediate purpose rested on the belief that a union of + government and religion tends to destroy government and degrade religion." + [Justice Black, US Supreme Court Justice, on the 1st Amendment] +% +"[The First Amendment] requires the state to be a neutral in + its relations with groups of believers and non-believers." + [Justice Black, lead opinion, Everson v. + Board of Education, 330 US 1 (1947)] +% +"The manifest object of the men who framed the institutions of this country, + was to have a _State without religion_, and a _Church without politics_ -- + that is to say, they meant that one should never be used as an engine for + any purpose of the other, and that no man's rights in one should be tested + by his opinions about the other. As the Church takes no note of men's + political differences, so the State looks with equal eye on all the modes + of religious faith. ... Our fathers seem to have been perfectly sincere in + their belief that the members of the Church would be more patriotic, and the + citizens of the State more religious, by keeping their respective functions + entirely separate." + [Chief Justice of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania + Jeremiah S. Black, from "Essays and Speeches," 1885, p. 53] +% +"Well I don't want no preacher telling me about the god in the sky + No I don't want no one to tell me where I'm gonna go when I die + I wanna live my life with no people telling me what to do + I just believe in myself, 'cause no one else is true" + [O. Osbourne/T. Iommi/W. Ward/T. Butler, From "Under the Sun/ + Every Day Comes and Goes" Black Sabbath. _Sabbath Vol 4_] +% +"It's hard for me to believe that in the year 2000 I am walking + into court to defend my daughter against charges of witchcraft." + [Tim Blackbear, in Tulsa World 10/28/2000, whose + daughter was expelled from Oklahoma public school + and forbidden to wear Wiccan symbols amid charges + that she had cast "spells" on teachers] +% +"The Bible doesn't forbid suicide. It's Catholic directive, + intended to slow down their loss of martyrs." + [Ellen Blackstone] +% +"Superstition is the religion of feeble minds." + [Edmund Blake (1729-1797)] +% +"Whenever I think of how religion started, I picture some frustrated + old man making out a list of all the ways he could gain power, until + he finally came up with the great solution of constant fear and guilt, + then he leaped up and started planning a new wardrobe." + [Steve Blake] +% +"The ancient poets animated all objects with Gods or Geniuses, calling them + by the names and adorning them with the properties of woods, rivers, + mountains, lakes, cities, nations, and whatever their enlarged & numerous + senses could perceive. And particularly they studied the genius of each + city & country, placing it under its mental deity; Till a system was formed, + which some took advantage of, & enslav'd the vulgar by attempting to realize + or abstract the mental deities from their objects: thus began priesthood; + Choosing forms of worship from poetic tales. + And at length they pronounc'd that the Gods had order'd such things. + Thus men forgot that all deities reside in the human breast." + [William Blake, from "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell"] +% +"As the caterpiller chooses the fairest leaves to lay her eggs + on, so the priest lays his curse on the fairest joys." + [William Blake, from "Proverbs of Hell"] +% + THE GARDEN OF LOVE + + I went to the Garden of Love, + And saw what I never had seen: + A Chapel was built in the midst, + Where I used to play on the green. + + And the gates of this Chapel were shut, + And "Thou shalt not" writ over the door; + So I turn'd to the Garden of Love + That so many sweet flowers bore; + + And I saw it was filled with graves, + And tomb-stones where flowers should be; + And priests in black gowns were walking their rounds, + And binding with briars my joy and desires. + [William Blake, from "Songs of Experience"] +% + A LITTLE BOY LOST + + "Nought loves another as itself, + Nor venerates another so, + Nor is it possible to thought + A greater than itself to know: + + "And Father, how can I love you + Or any of my brothers more? + I love you like the little bird + That picks up crumbs around the door." + + The Priest sat by and heard the child, + In trembling zeal he seiz'd his hair: + He led him by his little coat, + And all admir'd the priestly care. + + And standing on the altar high, + "Lo! what a fiend is here!" said he, + "One who sets reason up for judge + Of our most holy Mystery." + + The weeping child could not be heard, + The weeping parents were in vain; + They strip'd him to his little shirt, + And bound him in an iron chain; + + And burn'd him in a holy place, + Where many had been burn'd before: + The weeping parents wept in vain. + Are such things done on Albion's shore? / england's + + [William Blake, from "Songs of Experience"] +% +"Prisons are built with stones of Law, + Brothels with bricks of Religion." + [William Blake, "The Marriage + of Heaven and Hell"] +% +"Religions are not revealed: they are evolved. If a religion were revealed + by God, that religion would be perfect in whole and in part, and would be as + perfect at the first moment of its revelation as after ten thousand years of + practice. There has never been a religion which fulfills those conditions." + [Robert Blatchford, "God and My Neighbor," 1903] +% +"The Christians were the first to make the existence of Satan a dogma + of the church. What is the use in a Pope if there is no Devil?" + [Elena Blavatsky] +% +"There has never been a religion in the annals of the + world with such a bloody record as Christianity." + [Elena Blavatsky] +% +"Religion is like chemotherapy, it may solve one + problem, but it can cause a million more." + [John Bledsoe] +% +"Anti-intellectualism among millenarians and Bible Literalists is a + recurrent phenomenon, but no other religious movement in America ever + has been as programatically set against its intellect as are Jehovah's + Witnesses. The Fundamentalist majority wing of the Southern Baptist + Convention are devotees of pure reason compared to Jehovah's Witnesses." + [Harold Bloom, The American Religion, pg. 162] +% +"Sure, there's still war in the Balkans, but the Supreme Being + of the universe seems to have become shallow and spends all his + time intervening in sporting events." + [John Bloom (aka Joe Bob Briggs), + comment after the Super Bowl] +% +"Though there are a number of rather savage apocalyptic scenarios current + among American Fundamentalists, I am aware of none quite so inhumane as the + Jehovah's Witnesses' accounts of the End of our Time. There is something + peculiarly childish in these Watchtower yearnings: they remind me of why very + small children cannot be left alone with wounded and suffering household pets." + [Harold Bloom, The American Religion, pg. 169-170] +% +"There is a God, but He drinks" + [Blore] +% +"At the first evidence of the onset of cyclic events + pertaining to seventeen for the first, then obviously + we reserve green hurt sliding down the billiard house + on the second corner after dinner. Other than that, + blue interspersed with flying bats.......... + + The above is an example of what bleater-logic sounds + like to me." + [bob <abilene@intercomm.com>] +% +"Gilles de Rais supposedly sodomized, mutilated, and murdered more + than 700 children. At his trial he told of his usual procedure of + sexually assaulting boys, cutting open their chests and burying his face + in their lungs, and opening their abdomens and handling their intestines. + He also confessed to necrophilia with the dismembered bodies and to + attempted intercourse with a fetus he cut out of a pregnant woman. + At his trial de Rais REPENTED, and the bishop of Nantes WAS FORCED + TO RECEIVE HIM BACK INTO THE CHURCH." + [_Bodies_Under_Siege_ p.9-10] +% +"Considering all the evil that exists in the world, the fact that all + of religion's condemnation is focused on expressing disapproval of + two people loving each other proves just how evil religion is." + [Jan deBoer] +% +"Everything is more or less organized matter. To think + so is against religion, but I think so just the same." + [Napoleon Bonapart] +% +"If I had to choose a religion, the sun as + the universal giver of life would be my god." + [Napoleon Bonaparte] +% +"How can you have order in a state without religion? For, when + one man is dying of hunger near another who is ill of surfeit, + he cannot resign himself to this difference unless there is an + authority which declares 'God wills it thus.' Religion is + excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet." + [Napoleon Bonaparte] +% +"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." + [Napoleon Bonaparte] +% +"I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly + that their kingdom is not of this world, and yet + they lay their hands on everything they can get." + [Napoleon Bonaparte] +% +"Religion divides us, while it is our human + characteristics that bind us to each other." + [Sir Hermann Bondi, interview + in Free Inquiry magazine] +% +"...I will never understand why the advent of tourists and beer is + considered damaging to the culture [of the Bahinemo people in Papua + New Guinea] while introducing Jesus is not. These people have survived + centuries with their own beliefs, invoking their own gods." + [Richard A. Boni of Budapest, Hungary, in letter + to the editor, National Geographic, June 1994] +% +"I want to boldly affirm Uncle Tom. The black community + must stop criticizing Uncle Tom. He is a role model." + [Wellington Boone, editorial board member of New Man, the + Promise Keepers' official magazine, in Breaking Through, p. 77] +% +"All women have been sexually abused by the Bible teachings, and institutions + set on set on its fundamentalist interpretations. There would be no need + for the women's movement if the church and Bible hadn't abused them." + [Father Leo Booth] +% +"One must keep in mind that religious liberty did not come easily. It + did not simply ripen and fall to nonChristians as a gift. It had to be + fought for in the legislative halls, in constitutional conventions and + in the courts. What has been achieved, easily can be lost." + [Morton Borden, Reason magazine June, 1987, from Menendez + Doerr, The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom] +% +"'Believing' cannot tip the scales in making a historical judgment about + whether something really happened. I can choose to believe that George + Washington threw a silver dollar across the Rappahannock, but my believing + that he did it has nothing to do with whether or not he really did to it. + So also with the story of Jesus walking on the water: Believing that he did + it has nothing to do with whether he really did do it. 'Belief' cannot be + the basis for historical conclusion; it has no direct relevance." + ["Faith and Scholarship" by Marcus J. Borg + August, 1993 issue of _Bible Review_] +% +"3. Interpreting the Bible: All reading of Scripture (including a literalist + approach) involves subjective interpretation. For example, to read the + stories of Jesus' birth as literal historical accounts involves an act of + interpretation just as much as reading them as symbolic narratives (namely, + it involves a decision to read them literally). The recognition that all + interpretations are subjective does not, however, mean that all are equally + good. About any interpretation, one may ask (or be asked), "what have you + got to go on? Why do you read it that way?" + ["Faith and Scholarship" by Marcus J. Borg + August, 1993 issue of _Bible Review_] +% +"If God has made the world a perfect mechanism, He has at least + conceded so much to our imperfect intellect that in order to predict + little parts of it, we need not solve innumerable differential + equations, but can use dice with fair success." + [Max Born] +% +"Freedom is the distance between church and state." + [John Boston] +% +"Pray, and all your sins are hooked upon the sky. + Pray, and the heathen lie will disappear. + Prayers, they hide the saddest views, + Believing the strangest things, Loving the alien." + [David Bowie] +% +"The Boy Scouts of America maintain that no member can grow into the + best kind of citizen without recognizing his obligation to God." + [Boy Scouts of America, statement on membership form] +% +"The recognition of God as the ruling and leading power in the + universe and the grateful acknowledgment of His favors and + blessings are necessary to the best type of citizenship..." + [Boy Scouts of America policy, 1970] +% +"No man is much good unless he believes in God and obeys + His laws. So every Scout should have religion." + [BSA Scouting Handbook, first edition] +% +"...Any organization could profit from a 10-year-old member with + enough strength of character to refuse to swear falsely." + [New York Times editorial, 12/12/93, on the Boy Scouts' refusing + membership to Mark Welsh, who would not sign a religious oath] +% +"Those that scaped the fire were slaine with the sword; some hewed to peeces, + others rune throw with their rapiers, so as they were quickly dispatche, + and very few escaped. It was conceived they thus destroyed about 400 at this + time. It was a fearful sight to see them thus frying in the fyer, and the + streams of blood quenching the same, and horrible was the stincke and sente + there of, but the victory seemed a sweet sacrifice, and they gave the prayers + thereof to God, who had wrought so wonderfully for them, thus to inclose + their enemise in their hands, and gave them so speedy a victory over so + proud and insulting an enimie." + [William Bradford, "History of the Plymouth Plantation", on the + massacre of the friendly Pequot Indians by Puritans in 1637; + their village had been set on fire and 900 men, women, and + children were slaughtered as they tried to escape the flames.] +% +"The word heretic ought to be a term of honour..." + [Charles Bradlaugh] +% +"The atheist does not say "there is no God," but he says "I know not what + you mean by God; I am without idea of God; the word 'God' is to me a sound + conveying no clear or distinct affirmation." ... The Bible God I deny; the + Christian God I disbelieve in; but I am not rash enough to say there is no + God as long as you tell me you are unprepared to define God to me." + [Charles Bradlaugh, "A Plea for Atheism", 1864] +% +"The Atheist does not say "there is no god", but he says "I do not know what + you mean by god; I am without the idea of god; the word god is to me a + sound conveying no clear or distinct affirmation. I do not deny god, because + I cannot deny that of which I have no conception and the conception of which + by its affirmer is so imperfect that he is unable to define it to me." + [Charles Bradlaugh, _National Review_, Nov. 25, 1883] +% +"I cannot follow you Christians; for you try to crawl through your + life upon your knees, while I stride through mine on my feet." + [Charles Bradlaugh] +% +"As an unbeliever, I ask leave to plead that humanity has been a real + gainer from scepticism, and that the gradual and growing rejection of + Christianity - like the rejection of the faiths which preceeded it - + has in fact added, and will add, to man's happiness and well-being." + [Charles Bradlaugh, "Humanity's Gain from Unbelief," 1889] +% +"Atheists would teach men to be moral now, not because God offers as an + inducement reward by and by, but because in the virtuous act itself + immediate good is insured to the doer and the circle surrounding him." + [Charles Bradlaugh, "A Plea for Atheism", 1864] +% +"If it stood alone it would be almost sufficient to plead asjustification + for heresy the approach towards equality and liberty for the utterance + of all opinions achieved because of growing unbelief." + [Charles Bradlaugh, "Humanity's Gain from Unbelief," 1889] +% +"If special honor is claimed for any, then heresy + should have it as the truest servitor of humankind." + [Charles Bradlaugh, speech in London, September 25, 1881, + from James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief] +% +"Oh great, but not necessarily superior, being who dwells beyond this plane of + existence and who is accessible only through prayer, meditation, or crystals, + we salute you without thereby acknowledging that you are entitled to greater + respect than that accorded any other endangered species. We hope to pass + through your plane of existence at some point on our psychic journey to the + same exalted status as marine mammals or even snail darters. Moreover, to the + extent your design for the universe coincides with the U.S. Constitution and + includes low-cost access to cable, we ask you to provide us our minimum daily + requirement of essential vitamins and nutrients consistent with FDA + guidelines, and when judging us be duly mindful or our status as victim, which + provides full justification for what might appear on superficial examination + to be felonious. In the same vein, we will endeavor to excuse and forgive those + who have transgressed against us, with the possible exception of our parents, + teachers, policemen and clergy about whom we have just resurrected disturbing + memories. We ask all this in the name of your prophet --------. (Here on + alternating weeks substitute names drawn from the consensus of the class. Some + suggestions for early in the year: L. Ron Hubbard, Ayatollah Khomeini, + Patricia Ireland, Mike Wallace.)" + [John F. Bramfeld, a lawyer in Urbana, Ill., as printed in "Wall + Street Journal" Pg A-18 Thurs, Jan 12, 1995, contemplating what + would happen to school prayer after it was filtered through the + apparatus of politically correct educrats.] +% +"The world presents enough problems if you believe it to be a world of law + and order; do not add to them by believing it to be a world of miracles." + [U.S. Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis] +% +"In any culture, subculture, or family in which belief is valued + above thought, and self-surrender is valued above self-expression, + and conformity is valued above integrity, those who preserve their + self-esteem are likely to be heroic exceptions." + [Nathaniel Branden, _The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem_, + Bantam Books, (New York, 1994), p. 296] +% +"If, in any culture, children are taught, 'We are all equally + unworthy in the sight of God' - + +"If, in any culture, children are taught, 'You are born in sin + and are sinful by nature' - + +"If children are given a message that amounts to 'Don't think, + don't question, *believe*' - + +"If children are given a message that amounts to 'Who are you to + place your mind above that of the priest, the minister, the rabbi?' - + +"If children are told, 'If you have value it is not because of anything + you have done or could ever do, it is only because God loves you' - + +"If children are told, 'Submission to what you cannot understand + is the beginning of morality' - + +"If children are instructed, 'Do not be "willful", self-assertiveness + is the sin of pride' - + +"If children are instructed, 'Never think that you belong to yourself' - + +"If children are informed, 'In any clash between your judgement and that + of your religious authorities, it is your authorities you must believe', - + +"If children are informed, 'Self-sacrifice is the foremost + virtue and the noblest duty' - + +"- then *consider what will be the likely consequences for the + practice of living consciously, or the practice of self-assertiveness, + or any of the other pillars of healthy self-esteem*." + + [Nathaniel Branden, _The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem_, + Bantam Books, (New York, 1994), p. 295-296] +% +"Whether one believes in a God, and whether one believes we are God's children, + is irrelevant to the issue of what self-esteem requires. Let us imagine that + there is a God and that we are his/her/its children. In this respect, then, + we are all equal. Does it follow that everyone is or should be equal in + self-esteem, regardless of whether anyone lives consciously or unconsciously, + responsibly or irresponsibly, honestly or dishonestly? Earlier in this book + we saw that this is impossible. There is no way for our mind to avoid + registering the choices we make in the way we operate and no way for our + sense of self to remain unaffected. If we are children of God, the question + remains: What are we going to do about it? What are we going to make of it? + Will we honor our gifts or betray them? If we betray ourselves and our + powers, if we live mindlessly, purposelessly, and without integrity, can + we buy our way out, can we acquire self-esteem, by claiming to be God's + relatives? Do we imagine we can thus relieve ourselves of personal + responsiblity? + [Nathaniel Branden, _The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem_, + Bantam Books, (New York, 1994), p. 108-109] +% +"Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts + every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion." + [Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D. Psychologist, + author The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem] +% +"You go back and tell Brigham Young that I'll give up the Lord's + money when he sends me a receipt signed by the Lord, and no sooner." + [Sam Brannan, as quoted in "California Saints" p. 153] +% +"My response to the statement that AIDS is God's punishment + against homosexuals is that in that case, God has very bad aim." + [David Bratman] +% +"Answer Just one question for me. Assume I am the leader on a country. I + invade a neighboring country and conquer it. I order all the men killed. + I order all the boys killed. I have all the women checked for virginity, + those that aren't I have killed. The remaining virgin girl children I + split up and let my soldiers do to them what they will, keeping a good + portion of the best looking ones for my own use." The question is: Under + what circumstances would it be good and moral to do the above? And the + answer is: Because God commanded it. I'm sure you are hoping for another + holy war, so you can finally get laid." + ["Johnny Bravo", on alt.atheism] +% +"Entering the city [Jerusalem, July 15, 1099], our pilgrims pursued and killed + Saracens up to the Temple of Solomon, in which they had assembled and where + they gave battle to us furiously for the whole day so that their blood flowed + throughout the whole temple. Finally, having overcome the pagans, our + knights seized a great number of men and women, and the killed whom they + wished and whom they wished they let live.... Then, rejoicing and weeping + from extreme joy, our men went to worship at the sepulchre of jour Saviour + Jesus and thus fulfilled their pledge to Him.... They also ordered that all + the Saracen dead should be thrown out of the city because of the extreme + stench, for the city was almost full of their cadavers. The live Saracens + dragged the dead out before the gates and made piles of them, like houses. + No one has ever heard of or seen such a slaughter of pagan peoples since + pyres were made of them like boundary marks, and no one except God knows + their number." + [Histoire anonyme de la premiere croisade, L. Brehier, ed. + Paris: Champion, 1924 (From The Portable Medieval Reader, + Ed. James Bruce Ross and Mary Martin McLaughlin)] +% +"But in what sense can [the United States] be called a Christian nation? + Not in the sense that Christianity is the established religion or the + people are compelled in any manner to support it. On the contrary, the + Constitution specifically provides that 'congress shall make no law + respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise + thereof.' Neither is it Christian in the sense that all its citizens are + either in fact or in name Christians. On the contrary, all religions have + free scope within its borders. Numbers of our people profess other + religions, and many reject all. Nor is it Christian in the sense that a + profession of Christianity is a condition of holding office or otherwise + engaging in public service, or essential to recognition either politically + or socially. In fact, the government as a legal organization is independent + of all religions." + [Justice David Brewer, "The United States: A Christian Nation", 1905. + Brewer is famous for his remarks in the non-legally binding Obiter Dictum + from the 1892 Holy Trinity Church v. U.S. decision which states that "this + is a Christian nation", frequently cited as "proof" by groups seeking to + amend the Constitution to endorse Christianity. Brewer wrote this to + clarify his position regarding the law. From "Why the Christian Right Is + Wrong about Separation of Church & State." by Robert Boston, pg. 84-85] +% +"No myth of miraculous creation is so + marvelous as the face of man's evolution." + [Robert Briffault (1876-1948) + "Rational Education",1930] +% +"I find homosexuality disgustingly disturbing. This calls God + and his designs into question. I feel a strong sense of fear + for anyone who questions God's designs." + [Arizona State Rep. Debra Brimhall (R-Snowflake) + quoted in Arizona Republic, Feb. 4, 1999] +% +"There is no faith, however respectable, no interest, however + legitimate, which must not accommodate itself to the progress + of human knowledge and bend before truth." + [Paul Broca] +% +"If God dislikes gay so much, how come he picked Michaelangelo, + a known homosexual, to paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling while + assigning Anita to go on TV and push orange juice?" + [Greg R. Broderick] +% +"Rationalism is the explanation of the world as human adventure, and it is + not less human because it is an intellectual adventure--it is more human. + Why do those who belittle science always behave as if the mind were the + least human of our gifts? The inquiring mind is the godhead of man." + [Joseph Bronowski] +% +"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to + explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy." + [David Brooks, "The Necessity of Atheism"] +% +"There is no stopping the world's tendency to throw off imposed restraints, + the religious authority that is based on the ignorance of the many, the + political authority that is based on the knowledge of the few." + [Van Wyck Brooks, The Nation, 14 August 1954] +% +"I hope you don't like my posts...that is the intent!" + [Brother Orchid, demonstrating how to be christian] +% +"The pursuit of happiness belongs to us, but we + must climb around or over the church to get it." + [Heywood Broun (1888-1939)] +% +"God, as some cynic has said, is always on + the side which has the best football coach." + [Heywood Broun] +% +"Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, + kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging from a wooden apparatus + by a series of gruesome body piercings, and engage in their bizarre + practices of ritualized blood-drinking and cannibalism without being + assaulted by graphic images of attractive young women with bare breasts." + [A. Whitney Brown, "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central] +% +"I do not see how anyone could come fresh to the Bible and see any regard + for human life at all in the early parts. From the extermination of every + living thing outside the ark to the ethnic cleansing of the promised land, + the story is one of utter disregard to human life except when it suits God's + purposes..... it does not license anyone to preach on the excellence of the + Ten Commandments asa sort of constitution document for modern society." + [Andrew Brown, religious correspondent for + the Independent, a national UK paper] +% +"If the Bible is mistaken in telling us where we came from, + how can we trust it to tell us where we're going?" + [Justin Brown] +% +"My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. + All those women out there are praying for a + man, and I'm giving them my share." + [Rita Mae Brown] +% +"There are many extraordinary tales from antiquity, including women with snakes + for hair, creatures whose gaze turns you to stone, creatures with equine + bodies and human torsos, many accounts of people rising from the dead, lots of + tales of magic, and numerous accounts of physical encounters with fantastic + beings. Ancient people were a superstitious, scientifically primitive lot, + and believed in many things that today we know are silly. I find it bizarre + that so many people see nothing suspicious about the extraordinary or + supernatural claims of the bible, yet don't hesitate to express disbelief in + equally well documented claims of minotaurs, basilisks, and wizards." + [Scott Brown] +% +"There's nothing shameful in acknowledging that you don't have the answers + to every question about life. Just accept the fact that you know only a + fraction of what's going on in the world. You don't have to attach + explanations in terms of a special revelation of God's will, a glimpse + at the supernatural, evidence of a conspiracy, or anything else." + [Harry Browne, "How I Found Freedom in an + Unfree World", Avon Books, 1973, p. 151] +% +"I have ever believed, and do now know, that there are witches; they + that doubt them do not only deny them, but [all] spirits, and are + obliquely and upon consequence a sort, not of infidels, but of atheists." + [Sir Thomas Browne, "Religio Medici"] +% +"If Jesus had been killed 20 years ago, Catholic school children would be + wearing little Electric Chairs around their necks instead of crosses" + [Lenny Bruce] +% +"He is a born again christian. The trouble is, + he suffered brain damage during rebirth." + [Lenny Bruce] +% +"Morality becomes hypocrisy if it means accepting mothers + suffering or dying in connection with unwanted pregnancies and + illegal abortions--and unwanted children living in misery." + [Gro Harlem Brundtland, at the Cairo population conference] +% +"It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses + or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not + change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people. + [Giordano Bruno (1548-burned at the stake,1600)] +% +"You pronounce sentence upon me with greater fear than I receive it." + [Giordano Bruno to his inquisitors] +% +"Who so itcheth to Philosophy must set to + work by putting all things to doubt." + [Giordano Bruno, "The Threefold Leas and + Measure of the Three Speculative Sciences + and the Principle of Many Practical Arts"] +% +"A pious man is one who would be an atheist if the king were." + [Jean de La Bruy re (1645-1696)] +% +"If we have to give up either religion or education, + we should give up education." + [William Jennings Bryan] +% +"All the ills from which America suffers can be traced to the + teaching of evolution." + [William Jennings Bryan] +% +"If the Bible had said that Jonah swallowed the whale, I would believe it." + [William Jennings Bryan] +% +"The parents have a right to say that no teacher paid by their money shall + rob their children of faith in God and send them back to their homes + skeptical, or infidels, or agnostics, or atheists." + [William Jennings Bryan, testifying at the Scopes trial, July 16, 1925] +% +"As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically + reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children." + [Anita Bryant, 1977] +% +"The atheist staring from his attic window is + often nearer to God than the believer caught + up in his own false image of God." + [Martin Buber] +% +"An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support." + [John Buchan (1875-1940) + British author, statesman] +% +"Who are beneficiaries of the Court's protection? Members of various + minorities including criminals, atheists, homosexuals, flag burners, + illegal immigrants (including terrorists), convicts, and pornographers." + [US Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, Address + to the Heritage Foundation, January 29, 1996] +% +"And how can we ever again succeed in educating children to become + moral men and women if, in America's public schools, we consciously + deny them all religious instruction, and deny them access to that + primary source of morality, God's own word. The Bible is the one book + from which they are expressly not allowed to be taught." + [US Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, + "The City and The Crusade", Commencement + Address for Christendom College, May 6, 1996] +% +"What's the Christian-bashing all about? Simple- a struggle for the + soul of America is under way, a struggle to determine whose views, + values, beliefs and standards will serve as the basis of law." + [US Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, + Washington Times, June 15, 1995] +% +"And it is, I am persuaded, not some deep-seated love of the downtrodden + Xhosa or Zulu that has caused America's press and clergy to insist upon + the most severe of sanctions upon South Africa. (After all, Ndebele, Hutu, + Tutsi, Ibo and countless tribal peoples have been massacred in far greater + numbers in modern Africa, without a peep of protest from these same sources.) + + The spirit driving the anti-apartheid coalition worldwide is not love at + all; it is hatred, and not just hatred of apartheid, but hatred of the Boer, + hatred of Botha, his party and people, hatred of the 19th century idea they + embody - the idea that the Christian West, because of the superiority of + its values and the civilization those values produced, has an inherent + right to rule over other peoples." + [Patrick J. Buchanan. "Why has Appeal + of Communism Endured for So Many?"] +% +"In a GQ profile of Pat Buchanan, journalist John Judis asks the presidential + candidate his views about teaching creationism in school. 'Look, my view is, + I believe God created heaven and earth,' said Buchanan. 'I think this: What + ought to be taught as fact is what is known as fact. I don't believe it is + demonstrably true that we have descended from apes. I don't believe it. I + do not believe all that." + [Leah Garchik, San Francisco Chronicle, 27 November 1995] +% +"Our culture is superior. Our culture is superior because our + religion is Christianity and that is the truth that makes men free." + [US Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, speech to the Christian + Coalition, Sept. 1993, as reported in ADL Report, 1994] +% +"We need to do more than win an election or win the House or + win the presidency, my friends: we need to make this beloved + country of ours God's country once again." + [Pat Buchanan at the Christian Coalition 1995 + Road to Victory Conference, as reported in + the October 1995 issue of Church and State] +% +"Education must be founded upon knowledge, not upon faith; and religion + itself should be taught in the public schools only as religious history..." + [Friederich Buchner, "Man in the Past, Present, and Future"] +% +"Therefore man does not stand outside or above + nature, but wholly and thoroughly in her midst..." + [Ludwig Buchner, "Force and Matter"] +% +"I thank heaven for a man like Adolf Hitler, who built a front + line of defense against the anti-Christ of Communism." + [Frank Buchman (1878-1961), U.S. evangelist. + New York World-Telegram (25 Aug. 1936)] +% +"I feel no need for any other faith than my faith in human beings. + Like Confucius of old, I am so absorbed in the wonder of earth and + the life upon it that I cannot think of heaven and the angels." + [Pearl S. Buck] +% +"Be born anywhere, little embryo novelist, but do not be + born under the shadow of a great creed, not under the + burden of original sin, not under the doom of Salvation." + [Pearl S. Buck, Advice to Unborn Novelists] +% +"That the system of morals expounded in the New Testament contained no + maxim which had not been previously enunciated, and that some of the most + beautiful passages in the apostolic writings are quotations from Pagan + authors, is well known to every scholar.... To assert that Christianity + communicated to man moral truths previously unknown, argues on the part + of the asserted either gross ignorance or wilful fraud." + [Henry Thomas Buckle, "History of Civilization," Vol. I, p. 129] +% +"As long as men refer the movements of the comets to the immediate finger + of God, and as long as they believe that an eclipse is one of the modes + by which the deity expresses his anger, they will never be guilty of the + blasphemous presumption of attempting to predict such supernatural + appearances. Before they could dare to investigate the causes of these + mysterious phenomena, it is necessary that they should believe, or at all + events that they should suspect, that the phenomena themselves were capable + of being explained by the human mind." + [Buckle, "History of Civilization," vol. I, p. 345] +% +"If you can impress any man with an absorbing conviction of the supreme + importance of some moral or religious doctrine; if you can make him + believe that those who reject that doctrine are doomed to eternal + perdition; if you then give that man power, and by means of his + ignorance blind him to the ulterior consequences of his own act,-he + will infallibly persecute those who deny his doctrine." + [Henry Thomas Buckle, "History of Civilization in England"] +% +"Be not misled by reports or tradition or common opinion. Be not misled by + proficiency in the scriptures, nor by speculation and conclusions, nor by + attractive theories and favorite ideas, nor by impressions of personal merits + (of the teacher) and not by the authority of some master. But rather, + Kalamas, when you discern yourselves: these things are unprofitable, these + things are blameworthy, these things are censured by the wise; these things, + when performed and undertaken are conducive to misfortune and sorrow, indeed + do you then reject them." + +"...And when you discern yourselves: these things are profitable, these things + are not blameworthy, these things are praised by the wise; these things, when + performed and undertaken are conducive to good fortune and happiness, indeed + do you then accept them." + [G. Buddha, from the Anguttara Nikaya] +% +"Believe nothing, O monks, merely because you have been told it ... or + because it is traditional, or because you yourselves have imagined it. + Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for + the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you + find to be conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings + -- that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide." + [Buddha [Siddhartha Gautama] (?563-?483 BCE), founder of Buddhism] +% +"Believe not because some old manuscripts are produced, believe not + because it is your national belief, believe not because you have + been made to believe from your childhood, but reason truth out, and + after you have analyzed it, then if you find it will do good to one + and all, believe it, live up to it and help others to live up to it." + [Buddha] +% +"Xianity: the braindead, educating the clueless on how to show the + blind how to tell the mute how to witness to the deaf so they can + galvanize the paraplegic into lifelong slavery to a non-existent god" + ["Budikka", on alt.atheism] +% +"Jesus Christ: A common exclamation indicating surprise, + disgust, anger or bewilderment." + [Chaz Bufe, The American Heretic's Dictionary] +% +"Agnostic, n. A person who feels superior to atheists by merit + of his ignorance of the rules of logic and evidence." + [Chaz Bufe, The American Heretic's Dictionary] +% +"Fundamentalist, n. One in whom something is fundamentally wrong - most + commonly lack of reasoning ability and vicious intolerance toward those + not sharing the fundamentalist's delusions. Thus, fundamentalists are + especially intolerant of those able to draw obvious conclusions from + observed facts, those who refuse to seek shelter in comforting falsehoods, + and those who wish to lead their own lives. Members of the fundamentalist + subspecies known as "Slack-Jawed Drooling Idiots" have been known to give + so much of their income to "electronic churches" that they subsist on Alpo + at the end of the month. In herds, fundamentalists are about as useful to + society as wandering bands of baboons brandishing machetes." + [Charles Bufe "The American Heretic's Dictionary"] +% +"Religion, religion. Oh, there's a fine line + between Saturday night and Sunday morning... + Where's the church, who took the steeple, + Religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people, + Television preachers with bad hair and dimples, + The God's honest truth is, it's not that simple." + ["Fruitcakes", Jimmy Buffett] +% +"Armies of Bible scholars and theologians have for centuries + found respected employment devising artful explanations of + the Bible often not really meaning what it says." + [J. S. Bullion, Jr., U.S. freethinker, writer] +% +"The attack on the peasant economy was accompanied by a fierce campaign + against the Orthodox Church, the center of traditional peasant culture, + which was seen by the Stalinist leadership as one of the main obstacles + to collectivization." + [Alan Bullock, "Hitler and Stalin: Parallel Lives" (Alfred A. Knopf, + 1992, ISBN 0-394-58601-8), p. 264, in the chapter "Stalin's Revolution", + showing that Stalin's motivation for destroying churches was because + of their threat to his political plans and not communistic "atheism"] +% +"Of greater significance was the reconciliation with the Russian Orthodox + Church, the traditional bastion of Russian nationalism and the tsarist + regime, which now became associated with the cult of Stalin and resumed + its role as a state church." + [Alan Bullock, "Hitler and Stalin: Parallel Lives" (Alfred A. Knopf, + 1992, ISBN 0-394-58601-8), chapter, "Stalin's New Order," pp 906-907, + on Stalin's wartime reconciliation with the church, showing that the + the "atheism" of the communist party had nothing to do with the + treatment accorded religions or the religious during Stalin's regime] +% +"We have an *eclectic* tradition in the United States... Christians of + various stripes are part of this, as are humanists and agnostics, but + this does not make the United States a Christian nation or even a Judeo- + Christian one. We are a mixed accumulation of our past, and it is the + Christian dogmatists, not the secularists, who are the major threat to + our pluralistic democratic tradition." + [Vern Bullough, "Do We Have a Judeo- + Christian Heritage?" in Free Inquiry] +% +"It's called faith. Faith is believing something + that no one in his right mind would believe." + [Archie Bunker, "All in the Family" sitcom by Norman Lear, + replying to Michael's questioning why God would tell women + that they should go forth and multiply and then prohibit + pain killers in child birth] +% +"God and Country are an unbeatable team; they + break all records for oppression and bloodshed." + [Luis Buquel] +% +"If someone were to prove to me-right this minute-that God, in all his + luminousness, exists, it wouldn't change a single aspect of my behavior." + [Luis Buquel (1900-1983), Spanish filmmaker. + My Last Sigh, ch. 15 (1983)] +% +"The idea that a good God would send people to a burning Hell is utterly + damnable to me. The ravings of insanity! Superstition gone to seed! + I don't want to have anything to do with such a God. No avenging + Jewish God, no satanic devil, no fiery hell is of any interest to me." + [Luther Burbank, address to Science + League of San Francisco, Dec. 1924] +% +"All my work in the field of science and research has come through a change + in my earlier opinions on religion. Growth is the law of life. Orthodoxy + is the death of scientific effort." + [Luther Burbank, from "Burbank the Infidel" by Joseph Lewis] +% +"Do not feed children on maudlin sentimentalism or dogmatic religion; give + them nature... Do not terrify them in early life with the fear of an after- + world. Never was a child made more noble and good by the fear of a hell." + [Luther Burbank, "The Training of the Human Plant," 1907] +% +"Most people's religion is what they want to believe, not what they + do believe. And very few of them stop to examine its foundations." + [Luther Burbank quoted by Edgar Waite, also in "2000 Years + of Disbelief, Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", + by James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"Those who take refuge behind theological barbed wire fences, quite often + wish they could have more freedom of thought, but fear the change to the + great ocean of scientific truth as they would a cold bath plunge." + [Luther Burbank, "Why I Am an Infidel," 1926] +% +"I have learned from Nature that dependence on unnatural beliefs + weakens us in the struggle and shortens our breath for the race." + [Luther Burbank] +% +"The time has come for honest men to denounce + false teachers and attack false gods." + [Luther Burbank] +% +"Science, unlike theology, never leads to insanity." + [Luther Burbank as quoted by Joseph McCabe] +% +"This should be enough for one who lives for truth and service + to his fellow passengers on the way. No avenging Jewish God, + no satanic devil, no fiery hell is of any interest to me." + [Luther Burbank] +% +"The scientist is a lover of truth for the very + love of truth itself, wherever it may lead." + [Luther Burbank] +% +"Let us read the Bible without the ill-fitting colored spectacles + of theology, just as we read other books, using our own judgment + and reason, listening to the voice within, not to the noisy babel + without. Most of us possess discriminating reasoning powers. Can + we use them or must we be fed by others like babes?" + [Luther Burbank] +% +"Prayer may be elevating if combined with work, and they who + labor with head, hands or feet have faith and are generally + quite sure of an immediate and favorable reply." + [Luther Burbank quoted by Joseph Lewis] +% +"Nature is not personal. She is the compound of all these processes which + move through the universe to effect the results we know as Life and of + all the ordinances which govern that universe and that make Life continuous. + She is no more the Hebrew's Jehovah than she is the Physicist's Force; she + is as much Providence as she is Electricity; she is not the Great Pattern + any more than she is the Blind Chance." + [Luther Burbank] +% +"I do not believe what has been served to me to believe. + I am a doubter, a questioner, a skeptic." + [Luther Burbank] +% +"However, when it can be proved to me that there is immortality, + that there is resurrection beyond the gates of death, then will + I believe. Until then, no." + [Luther Burbank quoted by Edgar Waite] +% +"Religion grows with the intelligence of man, but all religions of the + past and probably all of the future will sooner or later become petrified + forms instead of living helps to mankind. Until that time comes, however, + if religion of any name or nature makes man more happy, comfortable, and + able to live peaceably with his brothers, it is good." + [Luther Burbank] +% +"But as a scientist I cannot help feeling that all religions are on + a tottering foundation. None is perfect or inspired. As for their + prophets, there are as many today as ever before, only now science + refuses to let them overstep the bounds of common sense." + [Luther Burbank] +% +"The idea that a good God would send people to a burning hell is utterly + damnable to me. I don't want to have anything to do with such a God. But + while I cannot conceive of such a God, I do recognize the existence of a + great universal power -- a power which we cannot even begin to comprehend + and might as well not attempt to. It may be a conscious mind, or it may + not. I don't know. As a scientist I should like to know, but as a man, + I am not so vitally concerned." + [Luther Burbank] +% +"As for Christ -- well, he has been most outrageously belied. His followers, + like those of many scientists and literary men, have so garbled his words + and conduct that many of them no longer apply to present life. Christ was + a wonderful psychologist. He was an infidel of his day because he rebelled + against the prevailing religions and government. I am a lover of Christ as + a man, and his work and all things that help humanity, but nevertheless + just as he was an infidel then, I am an infidel today." + [Luther Burbank quoted by Edgar Waite] +% +"If a person's personal religious beliefs are sacred, they + should not be peddled door-to-door like Girl Scout Cookies." + [Marilyn Burge] +% +"The language of the Religion Clauses of the First Amendment is at best opaque, + particularly when compared with other portions of the Amendment. Its authors + did not simply prohibit the establishment of a state church or a state + religion, an area history shows they regarded as very important and fraught + with great dangers. Instead they commanded that there should be "no law + respecting an establishment of religion." A law "respecting" the proscribed + result, that is, the establishment of religion, is not always easily + identifiable as one violative of the Clause. A given law might not establish + a state religion but nevertheless be one "respecting" that end in the sense + of being a step that could lead to such establishment and hence offend + the First Amendment." + [Chief Justice Warren Burger, writing for + the majority in Lemon v. Kurtzman, 1971] +% +"It is hard to say whether the doctors of law or divinity have + made the greater advances in the lucrative business of mystery." + [Edmund Burke, A Vindication of Natural Society, 1757] +% +"Bertrand Russell viewed faith as, on the whole, contemptible. If religious + persons were honest and rational, they would not be religious--with that I + agree. But I'm not certain that it's always the fault of the believer that + he cannot abandon his absurd fairytales and fables. I often view the + religious person not with scorn, but with pity--with the same pity that one + would regard a heroin addict or a delusional psychotic. There comes an odd + sinking in my stomach when someone confesses to me his faith, as if he'd + just told me he was ill with a terminal disease." + [J. S. Burke, "Why Religion Persists"] +% +"It must be admitted that so-called evangelical scholars aren't out to + seek any kind of historical truth about the New Testament; rather, they + are out to justify their narrow literalist interpretations... but in the + light of scholarship more careful and critical than theirs, they should + rightly come to grief, as I did when I first sought to justify my former + Christian beliefs with examination of the scriptures. Almost without + exception, they confuse second-hand accounts with first-hand accounts, + and mere tradition with the pronouncements of apostles. Many uncritically + accept any word of the Church Fathers that could possibly be construed + to support their view. _Ad hoc_ defines evangelical musings on the New + Testament, and I have good doubts about the honesty of anyone who takes + their talk seriously." + [J. S. Burke, "An Examination of the Wellsian Thesis"] +% +"In Biblical terms, my biggest sin is answering the fool. I debate + creationists, evangelical 'scholars', and assorted theists who declare + that _their_ version of the ontological argument works." + [J. S. Burke, Usenet post] +% +"If members of the early Christian church ever came into + contact with any Christian living today, each side would, + no doubt, condemn the other as heretical." + [J. S. Burke, "Why Religion Persists"] +% +"The popular notion that witches were burned is quite false. In fact, no + witches were burned at any time in Salem or anywhere else in America. Nor + were witches by any means all women; in fact, they were not all even human + beings. Two dogs were actually put to death in Salem for 'witchcraft.' + The means of execution in all cases, including the unfortunate dogs, was by + hanging, with one exception: an old man named Giles Corey. ...Corey's death + was by 'pressing'; heavy stones were placed upon his chest in an attempt to + force him to plead [he protected his kin by refusing to plead either way]. + ...Nor was the witchcraft hysteria confined to Salem; Andover, Massachusetts, + was caught up in it before the affair had run its course, and at least one + witch was found in Maine. Salem was not, as a matter of fact, even the first + to hang a witch. An old woman in Boston had confessed to witchcraft and been + hanged in 1688, four years before the first execution in Salem." + [Tom Burnam, The Dictionary of Misinformation, 1975] +% +"Why has a religious turn of mind always a + tendancy to narrow and harden the heart?" + [Robert Burns] +% +"God knows, I'm not the thing I should be, + Nor am I even the thing I could be, + But twenty times I rather would be + An atheist clean, + Than under gospel colours hid be + Just a screen." + [Robert Burns, "Epistle + to the Rev. John McMath] +% +"Her people had no gods, only devils - which answer just as good + a purpose among the ignorant and superstitious as do gods among + the educated and superstitious." + [Edgar Rice Burroughs, "Tarzan and the Ant Men"] +% +"Everyone was fooled except Obebe, who was old and wise and did not + believe in river devils, and the witch doctor who was old and wise + and did not believe in them either, but realized that they were + excellent things for his parishioners to believe in." + [Edgar Rice Burroughs, "Tarzan and the Ant Men"] +% +"Science has done more for the development of western civilization in + one hundred years than Christianity did in eighteen hundred years." + [John Burroughs (1837-1921) + American naturalist, _The Light of Day_] +% +"Man is, and always has been, a maker of gods. It has been the most + serious and significant occupation of his sojourn in the world." + [John Burroughs] +% +"It is always easier to believe than to deny. + Our minds are naturally affirmative." + [John Burroughs] +% +"When I look up into the starry heavens at night and reflect upon what + it is I really see there, I am constrained to say, 'there is no god'." + [John Burroughs (1837-1921) + American naturalist, _The Light of Day_] +% +"Science makes no claim to infallibility; it + leaves that claim to be made by theologians." + [John Burroughs (1837-1921), from Thomas + S. Vernon, Great Infidels, M&M Press, 1989] +% +"In fact they recapitulate the story of Christianity word for word, like the + inevitable course of some unsightly disease: criminal ignorance, brutish + stupidity, self-righteous bigotry, paranoid fear of outsiders. For the + cultist, psychiatrists, the media, Government agencies have become Satan + incarnate. Like the fundamental Christians, they have to be _right_." + [William S. Burroughs] +% +"If you're gonna do business with a religious son of a bitch.. + GET IT IN WRITING. His word ain't worth shit, not with the good + Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal" + [William S. Burroughs, from the CD + "Spare Ass Annie and Other Tales"] +% +"Now Christianity sounded good at first to the naive convert. Love, + peace, and charity - what's wrong with that? I'll tell you what's + wrong - a series of unprecedented horrors perpetrated by so called + Christians: The Inquisition, the Conquistadors, the American Indian + wars, slavery, Hiroshima and the present-day Bible Belt." + [William S. Burroughs] +% +"Any belief in Creators or Purpose is wishful thinking. And when you point + out that perhaps ALL thinking is wishful, reactions of intense irritation + give evidence that we are not dealing with logic but with faith." + [William S. Burroughs] +% +"I think there are innumerable gods. What we on earth call God is + a little tribal God who has made an awful mess. Certainly forces + operating through human consciousness control events." + [William S. Burroughs. Interview in Writers at Work + (Third Series, ed. by George Plimpton, 1967)] +% +"The more I study religions the more I am convinced + that man never worshipped anything but himself" + [Sir Richard F. Burton] +% +"There is no Heaven, there is no Hell; + These are the dreams of baby minds; + Tools of the wily Fetisheer, + To fright the fools his cunning blinds." + [Richard Francis Burton, The Kasidah] +% +"One religion is as true as another." + [Robert Burton (1577-1640), + The Anatomy of Melancholy] +% +"It is a common saying that thought is free. A man can never be hindered from + thinking whatever he chooses so long as he conceals what he thinks. The + working of his mind is limited only by the bounds of his experience and the + power of his imagination. But this natural liberty of private thinking is of + little value. It is unsatisfactory and even painful to the thinker himself, + if he is not permitted to communicate his thoughts to others, and it is + obviously of no value to his neighbors. Moreover it is extremely difficult + to hide thoughts that have any power over the mind. If a man's thinking leads + him to call in question ideas and customs which regulate the behaviour of + those about him, to reject the beliefs which they hold, to see better ways of + life than those they follow, it is almost impossible for him, if he is + convinced of the truth of his own reasoning, not to betray by silence, chance + words, or general attitude that he is different from them and does not share + their opinions. Some have preferred, like Socrates, some would prefer today, + to face death rather than conceal their thoughts. Thus freedom of thought, + in any valuable sense, includes freedom of speech." + [J. B. Bury, "A History of Freedom of Thought", 1913] +% +"[T]he ideal of progress, freedom of thought, and + the decline of ecclesiastical power go together." + [J. B. Bury, "A History of Freedom of Thought," 1913, from + Menendez and Doerr, The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom] +% +"No, I don't know that Atheists should be considered as citizens, nor + should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God." + [Republican Presidential Nominee George Bush, 1987 + to reporter Rob Sherman at Chicago's O'Hare airport] +% +"Abraham Lincoln said he couldn't handle the job except on his knees. + Have you found recourse to God in prayer often in your presidency?" + +"You have to. I don't believe that an atheist could be President of the + United States - anybody that did not have something bigger than himself + or herself. And faith is the answer, and I've said this to friends. To some + degree religion for me has been a private thing. But I can tell you that + when the going is tough, and even when it's not - in our family we say our + prayers. We say our prayers at meals and we say our prayers when we go to + bed. Barbara and I do. But it's something that the more I'm there, the + more I understood what Lincoln meant." + [President George Bush, in a August 27, 1992 "700 Club" interview] +% +"I don't think witchcraft is a religion. I would hope the military + officials would take a second look at the decision they made." + [Texas Governor George W. Bush, on the US military's + decision to allow Wiccans at Fort Hood to practice + their religion, Good Morning America show, June 24, 1999] +% +"Therefore, I, George W. Bush, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim + June 10, 2000, Jesus Day in Texas and urge the appropriate recognition + whereof, + In official recognition whereof, + I hereby affix my signature this + 17th day of April, 2000." + [Texas Governor George W. Bush, "Jesus Day 2000" Proclamation] +% + "Our priorities is our faith." +[George W. Bush, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000] +% +"Our new faith-based laws have removed government as + a roadblock to people of faith who hear the call." + [George W. Bush, September, 2000] +% +"Awe is a large flower, but a short-lived one. Besides, when God cracks + a joke or two and clearly hopes you'll ask him over for a drink, you + lose respect. If God wants worship, he'd better stay lonely. If he + wants love, he'll have to eat shit with the rest of us." + [Jack Butler, "Nightshade", p. 107] +% +"God:" The word that comes after "go-cart." + [Samuel Butler (1835-1902), English author] +% +"An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have + heard one side of the case. God has written all the books." + [Samuel Butler, "Notebooks"] +% +"It is death, and not what comes after death, + that men are generally afraid of." + [Samuel Butler] +% +"As an instrument of warfare against vice, or as a tool + for making virtue, Christianity is a mere flint implement." + [Samuel Butler, Note-Books, c. 1890] +% +"Tennyson has said that more things are wrought by prayer than this world + dreams of, but he has wisely refrained from saying whether they are good + things or bad things. It might perhaps be as well if the world were to + dream of, or even become wide awake to, some of the things that are + being wrought by prayer." + [Samuel Butler, _The Way of All Flesh_] +% +"Religion is the interest of the churches + That sell in other worlds in this to purchase." + [Samuel Butler] +% +"Not only were a good many of the revolutionary leaders more deist than + Christian, the acutal number of church members was rather small. Perhaps + as few as five percent of the populace were church members in 1776" + [Lynn R. Buzzard, Exec Dir of Christian Legal Society, as quoted in + _They Haven't Got a Prayer_, Elgin IL: David C. Cook, 1982, p. 81] +% +"I fear your Lordship has been reading religious + publications of the sensational and morbid type." + [Donn Byrne, "Tale of the Gypsy Horse"] +% +"Believing is easier than thinking. Hence + so many more believers than thinkers." + [Bruce Calvert] +% +"God foreordained, for His own glory and the display of His attributes + of mercy and justice, a part of the human race, without any merit of + their own, to eternal salvation and another part, in just punishment + of their sin, to eternal damnation." + [John Calvin, "Institutes of the Christian Religion," 1536] +% +"We are all made of mud, and as this mud is not just on the hem of our + gown, or on the sole our boots, or in our shoes. We are full of it, + we are nothing but mud and filth both inside and outside." + [John Calvin, attacking mankind] +% +"We may rest assured that God would never have suffered + any infants to be slain except those who were already + damned and predestined for eternal death." + [John Calvin, rationalizing the slaughter + of infants in the Old Testament] +% +"No efficiency. No accountability. I tell you, + Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a universe." + [Calvin & Hobbes comic] +% +"It's hard to be religious when certain people + are never incinerated by bolts of lightning." + [Calvin, "Calvin and Hobes" strip by Bill Waterson] +% +"Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles + I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it." + [Calvin & Hobbes] +% +Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being + dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? +Hobbes: I'm not sure that man needs the help. + [Calvin & Hobbes comic by Bill Waterson] +% +Calvin: Well. I've decided I *do* believe in Santa Claus, + no matter how preposterous he sounds. +Hobbes: What convinced you? +Calvin: A simple risk analysis. I want presents. *Lots* of presents. + Why risk not getting them over a matter of belief? Heck, + I'll believe anything they want. +Hobbes: How cynically enterprising of you. +Calvin: It's the spirit of Christmas. + [Calvin & Hobbes comic by Bill Waterson] +% +"It does not pay a prophet to be too specific." + [L. Sprague de Camp] +% +"There is not one verse in the Bible inhibiting slavery, but + many regulating it. It is not then, we conclude, immoral." + [Rev. Alexander Campbell] +% +"A one sentence definition of mythology? +"Mythology" is what we call someone else's religion." + [Joseph Campbell] +% +"The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and + nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they + can level mountains, and nobody doubts them." + [Joseph Campbell] +% +"The night of December 25, to which date the Nativity of Christ was + ultimately assigned, was exactly that of the birth of the Persian savior + Mithra, who, as an incarnation of eternal light, was born the night of + the winter solstice (then dated December 25) at midnight, the instant + of the turn of the year from increasing darkness to light." + [Joseph Campbell, _The Mythic Image_, Bollingen + Series C, Princeton University Press, 1981, p. 33] +% +"...god is a metaphor for that which trancends all + levels of intellectual thought. It's as simple as that" + [Joseph Campbell, American mythologist (1904-1987)] +% +"Too many of our best scholars, themselves indoctrinated from infancy in a + religion of one kind or another based upon the Bible, are so locked into + the idea of their own god as a supernatural fact - something final, not + symbolic of transcendence, but a personage with a character and will of + his own - that they are unable to grasp the idea of a worship that is not + of the symbol but of its reference, which is of a mystery of much greater + age and of more immediate inward reality than the name-and-form of any + historical ethnic idea of a deity, whatsoever...and is of a sophistication + that makes the sentimentalism of our popular Bible-story theology seem + undeveloped." + [Joseph Campbell, American mythologist (1904-1987)] +% +"What gods are there, what gods have there ever + been, that were not from man's imagination?" + [Joseph Campbell, "Myths to Live By" (1972)] +% +"Creation 'scientists' must be aware that the informed workers in literary + interpretation and in physical and biological sciences regard their stance + as irresponsible, and that in the scholarly world as well as in the schools + they are doing irreparable damage to the Christian cause." + [Prof. Ken Campbell, Australian National University, in + St. Mark's Review 137 (Autumn, 1989) (Anglican)] +% +"I don't know whether this world has a meaning which transcends it. + But I do know that I do not know that meaning and that it is impossible + for me just now to know it. What can a meaning outside my condition mean + to me? I can understand only in human terms. What I touch - what resists + me - that is what I understand. And these two certainties - my appetite + for the absolute and for unity, and the impossibility of reducing this + world to a rational and reasonable principle - I also know that I cannot + reconcile them. What other truth can I admit without lying, without + bringing in a hope I lack and which means nothing within the limits of my + condition?" + [Albert Camus (1913-1960), "The Myth of Sisyphus"] +% +"It is a matter of persisting. At a certain point on his path the absurd + man is tempted. History is not lacking in either religions or prophets, + even without gods. He is asked to leap. All he can reply is that he + doesn't fully understand, that it is not obvious. Indeed, he does not want + to do anything but what he fully understands. He is assured that this is + the sin of pride, but he does not understand the notion of sin; that + perhaps hell is in store, but he has not enough imagination to visualize + that strange future; that he is losing immortal life, but that seems to + him an idle consideration. An attempt is made to get him to admit his + guilt. He feels innocent. To tell the truth, that is all he feels -- + his irreparable innocence. This is what allows him everything. Hence, + what he demands of himself is to live /solely/ with what he knows, to + accommodate himself with what is, and to bring in nothing that is not + certain. He is told that nothing is. But this at least is certainty. + And it is with this that he is concerned: he wants to find out if it + is possible to live without /appeal/." + [Albert Camus, "An Absurd Reasoning"] +% +"If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not + so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another + life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life." + [Albert Camus, "The Myth of Sisyphus"] +% +"Every one who publishes a blasphemous libel is guilty of an indictable + offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years." + [Criminal Code of Canada sec. 296(1)] +% +"Most religions do not make men better, only warier." + [Elias Canetti] +% +"The Lord is not my shepherd + As I am not a sheep" + [Peter Canning] +% +"But I don't know a soul who doesn't maintain two separate + lists of doctrines - the ones that they believe that they + believe; and the ones that they actually try to live by" + [Orson Scott Card, Jan. 2001, "Shadow of the Hegemon"] +% +"And by the time they took him, it was too late. To raise Peter and + Valentine in our faith. If you don't teach children when they're little, + it's never really inside them. You have to hope they'll come to it later, + on their own. It can't come from the parents, if you don't begin when + they're little." +"Indoctrinating them." +"That's what parenting is," said Mrs. Wiggin. "Indoctrinating your + children in the social patterns that you want them to live by. The + intellectuals have no qualms about using the schools to indoctrinate + our children in their foolishness." + [Orson Scott Card, Jan. 2001, "Shadow of the Hegemon") +% +"U.S. Adults (Gallup): humans didn't evolve, 46 percent; evolution + guided by God, 40; evolution occurred by itself, 10 percent." + [Quoted by Adam L. Carley, Free Inquiry, Fall 1994] +% +"The whole of religion has been one uniform curse to the human race..." + [Richard Carlile, "As to God"] +% +"The enemy with whom I have to grapple is one with whom no peace can be + made. Idolatry will not parley; superstition will not treat on covenant. + They must be uprooted for public and individual safety." + [Richard Carlisle] +% +"I would never want to be a member of a group whose + symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood". + [George Carlin] +% +"We created god in our own image and likeness!" + [George Carlin] +% +"I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a + direction where I could trust myself and trust my instincts. They + gave me the tools to reject my faith. They taught me to question and + think for myself and to believe in my instincts to such an extent + that I just said, 'This is a wonderful fairy tale they have going here, + but it's not for me.'" + [George Carlin, in the _New York Times_ 20 August 1995, pg. 17. + He attended Cardinal Hayes High School in the Bronx, but left + during his sophomore year in 1952 and never went back to school. + Before that he attended a Catholic grammar school, Corpus + Christi, which he called "an experimental school."] +% +"If churches want to play the game of politics, + let them pay admission like everyone else" + [George Carlin] +% +"This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. + I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they + might as well have a nice prayer like this: + Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, + thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day + as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation + but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen." + [George Carlin, on "Saturday Night Live"] +% +"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. + My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on + their own, so both of them together is certain death." + [George Carlin] +% +"Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the + sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't + want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of + fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs + money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!" + [George Carlin, on Politically Incorrect, May 29, 1997] +% +"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music." + [George Carlin, _Brain Droppings_] +% +"I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike + some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every + day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, + light, food, a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't + have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, + I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly + offered to "God" are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate." + [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"] +% +"A man came up to me on the street and said "I used to be messed up out of + my mind on drugs but now I'm messed up out of my mind on Jeeesus Chriiist." + [George Carlin] +% +"I have as much authority as the pope, I just + don't have as many people who believe it." + [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"] +% + "Jesus was a cross dresser" +[George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"] +% +"I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, + but as a man I intend to borrow money from." + [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"] +% +"Instead of school busing and prayer in schools, which are both controversial, + why not a joint solution? Prayer in buses. Just drive these kids around all + day and let them pray their fuckn' empty little heads off." + [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"] +% +"When it comes to BULLSHIT...BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT... + you have to stand IN AWE, IN AWE of the all time champion of + false promises and exaggerated claims, religion." + [George Carlin] +% +"Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about + it, religion has actually convinced people that there's an INVISIBLE + MAN...LIVING IN THE SKY...who watches every thing you do, every minute + of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten special things + that he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, + he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture + and anguish where he will send to live and suffer and burn and choke and + scream and cry for ever and ever 'til the end of time...but he loves you." + [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"] +% +"I want you to know, when it comes to believing in god- I really tried. I + really really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created + each one of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much and + keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta + tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you + realize...something is FUCKED-UP. Something is WRONG here. War, disease, + death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption + and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is NOT good + work. If this is the best god can do, I am NOT impressed. Results like + these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind + of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just + between you and me, in any decently run universe, this guy would have + been out on his all-powerful-ass a long time ago." + [George Carlin] +% +"Trillions and trillions of prayers every day asking and begging and pleading + for favors. 'Do this' 'Gimme that' 'I want a new car' 'I want a better job'. + And most of this praying takes place on Sunday. And I say fine, pray for + anything you want. Pray for anything. But...what about the divine plan? + Remember that? The divine plan. Long time ago god made a divine plan. Gave + it a lot of thought. Decided it was a good plan. Put it into practice. And + for billion and billions of years the divine plan has been doing just fine. + Now you come along and pray for something. Well, suppose the thing you want + isn't in god's divine plan. What do you want him to do? Change his plan? + Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a divine plan. What's + the use of being god if every run-down schmuck with a two dollar prayer book + can come along and fuck up your plan? And here's something else, another + problem you might have; suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you + say? 'Well it's god's will. God's will be done.' Fine, but if it gods will + and he's going to do whatever he wants to anyway; why the fuck bother praying + in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me. Couldn't you just + skip the praying part and get right to his will?" + [George Carlin] +% +"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Two reasons; first of all, + I think he's a good actor. Ok. To me, that counts. Second; he looks like + a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. Doesn't + fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that + god was having trouble with. For years I asked god to do something about + my noisy neighbor with the barking dog. Joe Pesci straightened that + cock-sucker out with one visit." + [George Carlin] +% +"I noticed that of all the prayers I used to offer to god, and all the prayers + that I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answer at about the same 50% rate. + Half the time I get what I want. Half the time I don't. Same as god 50/50. + Same as the four leaf clover, the horse shoe, the rabbit's foot, and the + wishing well. Same as the mojo man. Same as the voodoo lady who tells your + fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same; 50/50. So just + pick your superstitions, sit back, make a wish and enjoy yourself. And for + those of you that look to the Bible for it's literary qualities and moral + lessons; I got a couple other stories I might like to recommend for you. You + might enjoy The Three Little Pigs. That's a good one. It has a nice happy + ending. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood. Although it does have that one + x-rated part where the Big-Bad-Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I + didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of + moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I liked best: ...and all the + king's horses, and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again. + That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no god. None. + Not one. Never was. No god." + [George Carlin] +% +"Religion is kind of like wearing lifts in your shoes. If it helps + you to feel better about yourself or whatever, fine, I don't have + a problem with that. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes." + [George Carlin] +% +"Here's another question I've been pondering- What is all this shit about + Angels? Have you herd this? 3 out of 4 people belive in Angels. Are you + FUCKING STUPID? Has everybody lost their mind? You know what I think it is? + I think it's a massive, collective, psychotic chemical flashback for all + the drugs smoked, swallowed, shot, and obsorbed rectally by all Americans + from 1960 to 1990. 30 years of street drugs will get you some fucking + Angels my friend! + + What about Goblins, huh? Doesn't anybody belive in Goblins? You never + hear about this.. Except on Halloween and then it's all negative shit. + And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble + with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if you're going to go for the + Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.." + [George Carlin, "You are all Diseased"] +% +"I used to be Irish Catholic, now i'm American. You know, you grow" + [George Carlin] +% +"God -- + it's a wonderful idea. + It's a nice fantasy. + It's a way of keeping people in line. + It's a way of controlling people. + There is as much proof of the existence of God -- + or even evidence, forget proof. + There's as much evidence for the existence of God as + there is for the existence for UFSs and extraterrestrials. + And yet, if you mention them for a moment, you're + considered outside, beyond the pale, you're a kook, + you're marginalized, you're crazy. + If you mention -- + if you don't love God, then you're -- + there's something wrong with you." + [George Carlin, on the "Politically Incorrect show, 5/16/2001 + http://abc.go.com/primetime/politicallyincorrect/ + transcripts/transcript_20010516.html] +% +"Never attribute to Devil-worshipping conspiracies what opportunism, + emotional instability, and religious bigotry are sufficient to explain." + [Shawn Carlson, Ph.D.] +% +"If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They + would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it." + [Thomas Carlyle] +% +"Just in the ratio knowledge increases, faith decreases." + [Thomas Carlyle, English writer] +% +"Having a reasonable grounding in statistics and probability and + no belief in luck, fate, karma, or god(s), the only casino game + that interests me is blackjack." + [John Carmack, programmer/cofounder + of id software. (Doom, Quake)] +% +"That's why the religious people are so freaked out about the + Internet, not because of the smut but because NO religion can + stand up to access to information." + [Robert Carr, Lamprey Systems + http://members.aol.com/lampreysys/index.html] +% +"I don't believe in God. My god is patriotism. Teach a man + to be a good citizen and you have solved the problem of life." + [Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919] +% +"How do you steam clams? Make fun of their religion." + [Johnny Carson, stand-up monologue + on NBC's "The Tonight Show"] +% +"I'm not in favor of the government mandating a prayer in school because our + country was founded on the fact that no particular religious faith would + have ascendance over or preferential treatment over any other." + [U.S. President Jimmy Carter] +% +"I realized that a psychological need for belief also + resulted from childhood indoctrination, and that it + had all the characteristics of addiction." + [Neal Cary, American Atheists + National Outreach Director] +% +"Take a hard look at the Grand Canyon. Try to explain that through evolution." + [Freddie Cash, net.fundie.idiot] +% +"You know, having finally met the Good Lord, I think I can honestly say + that He's a bit of a prick." +"Yeah, I know. Son of a bitch keeps running away from me." + [Cassidy and Custer, "Preacher" comics] +% +"I never saw a contradiction between the ideas that sustain me and the + ideas of that symbol, of that extraordinary figure. [Jesus Christ]" + [Fidel Castro, Cuban communist leader] +% +"Both the Magisterium of the Church...and the moral sense of the + faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that + masturbation is an intrisically and gravely disordered action. + The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, + outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." + ["Catechism of the Catholic Church", 1994] +% +"We [Catholics] are also under an obligation to keep secrets faithfully. + And sometimes the easiest way to fulfill that duty is to say what is + false, or to tell a lie." + [Catholic Encyclical X, 195] +% +"So that a false statement knowingly made to one who has a + right to the truth will not be a lie." + [Catholic Encyclical IX, 471] +% +"If, therefore, the Catholic Church also claims the right of dogmatic + intolerance with regard to her teachings, it is unjust to reproach her + for exercising this right...She regards dogmatic intolerance not alone + as her contestable right, but also as a sacred duty...According to + Romans 8:11, the secular authorities have the right to punish, especially + grave crimes with death; consequently, 'heretics may be not only + excommunicated, but also justly put to death.'" + [The Catholic Encyclopedia, 1911 Edition, Vol. 14, pp.776,768] +% +"I can imagine no greater misfortune for a cultured people than to see in + the hands of the rulers not only the civil, but also the religious power." + [Caius Valerius Catullus, Roman poet 87-54 BC] +% + Here in hell's hammock just thinking up deviltry + planet-wide panic's a hat that's so old + i'd rather write about her in my diary + could she be mine without selling her soul + dirty deeds from a demon seed + don't excite me any more + is there one girl, just one girl who says + i'm bigger than jesus now + and i love her + i'm bigger than jesus now + up above her + i'm stage dining off the church of the holier than thou + and i'm bigger than jesus now + + he's got his uptight white virginal followers + i've got these metal chicks dumber than rocks + dated one once but i hated the music + and all her ex-boyfriends were there on the bus + it's never good to be "understood" + by a girl in acid wash + and god only knows what it is that i really want + guess i could ask but he's not the best confidant + puts me down in the biblical sense + in this basement apartment with hell-to-pay rent + is there one girl, just one girl who says.... + + [The Caulfields, "Devil's Diary"] +% +"I hear stories from the chamber, + how Christ was born into a manger, + like some ragged stranger. + He died upon the cross, and might I say, + it seems so fitting in its way, + he was a carpenter by trade, + or at least that's what I'm told." + [Nick Cave "The Mercy Seat"] +% +"This is my religious problem: it would be wonderful to believe in the most + fundamental way. It would make life easier, it would explain everything, it + would give meaning where none is apparent, it would make tragedies bearable. + If I went to a revival meeting, I have no doubt I could be one of the first + to go down on his knees. It seems as if the only religion worth having is the + simplest possible religion. But something about the fact that all it takes to + make it so is deciding it IS so puts me off. Knowing it could instantly make + me much happier makes it somehow unworthy of having." + [Dick Cavett interview, on his lack of religious faith] +% +"...I hope there is a God for Grandpa Richards's sake, + but don't much care if there is one for mine." + [Cavett by Dick Cavett and Christopher Porterfield + (New York: Bantam Books, 1974), pp. 56-7. Cavett's + grandfather was a fundamentalist Baptist minister] +% +"The order of creation in the Bible is woefully incorrect and + violates even the most simple and obvious rules of natural science." + [Charles Cazeau, U.S. professor of geology] +% +"Taking its root in the lower classes, the religion continues to spread + among the vulgar: nay, one can even say it spreads because of its vulgarity + and the illiteracy of its adherents. And while there are a few moderate, + reasonable, and intelligent people who interpret its beliefs allegorically, + yet it thrives in its purer form among the ignorant." + [Celsus, on the spread of Christianity, + _True Discourse_, c. 170 CE] +% +"Christians, it is needless to say, utterly detest each other. They + slander each other constantly with the vilest forms of abuse and cannot + come to any sort of agreement in their teaching. Each sect brands its + own, fills the head of its own with deceitful nonsense, and makes + perfect little pigs of those it wins over to its side." + [Celsus (2nd Century C.E.)] +% +"By simple common sense I don't believe in God, in none." + [Charlie Chaplin, in "Manual of a Perfect Atheist" by Rius] +% +"We found that we didn't have much problem with him [J.C.], + it was his followers we found questionable". + [Graham Chapman, discussing making of "Life of Brian"] +% +"Kneeling is not an heroic attitude. It more becomes the fearful slave + than the brave free man.....These stories of men becoming pious when + terrified confirm our conviction that fear begot the gods." + [Charles ??, in The Truth Seeker, July 1942] +% +"Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. + The less of either the people have, the less they want." + [Charlotte Observer, 1897] +% +"In God we rust." +[Gordon Charrick] +% +"It is usually when men are at their most religious that they + behave with the least sense and the greatest cruelty." + [Ilka Chase] +% +"One must be impressed by the zealous concern of today's consumer for what he + consumes. there has been a veritable renaissance of such interest in light of + the current realization that many products do not live up to their names and + claims. But it is not yet widely reconized that religion, like many of these + products, also can be useless and even dangerous, at least from a psychiatric + point of view...I am concerned, therefore, with the effects that religion can + be shown to have on mental health as well as on mental illness." + [Eli S. Chese] +% +"I am not espousing atheism or any other religious stance. I am merely setting + down a series of conclusions based upon the observations of case histories + that are representative of literally thousands of others..they are, rather, + typical cases seen every day in the offices of privately practicing + psychiatrists and on the wards of most mental health facilities. ...The range + of emotional difficulty in these patients varies from the existence of subtle + disturbances to major ones in which at times the person does not know who he + is but, rather, thinks that he is Jesus Christ, the Virgin Mary, or God. + In each instance... tenacious religious beliefs can be an active thread + interwoven into the tapestry of a disturbed thinking process..." + [Eli S. Chese] +% +"This world was not molded by a supreme being, and + anyone who thinks so is just full of themselves." + [ChesterNutzo@yahoo.com, more at his + website: http://chesternutzo.8m.com/] +% +"To downgrade the human mind is bad theology." + [C. K. Chesterton] +% +"The villa's and the chapel's where + I learned with little labor + The way to love my fellow man + And hate my next-door neighbor." + [C. K. Chesterton] +% +"From time to time, as we all know, a sect appears in our midst announcing + that the world will very soon come to an end. Generally, by some slight + confusion or miscalculation, it is the sect that comes to an end." + [G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)] +% +"Let's leave religion to the televangelists. + After all, they're the professionals." + [Cheviot, "Max Headroom"] +% +"My answers are in a blade of grass, in a swath of cobalt blue sky, in + the intricacies of language and social interaction, in glowing dots on + a phosphor screen, in the stratified remains of an Israeli tell, in the + procession of the equinoxes, in the genetic makeup of drosophilia.... + They are physical, touchable, testable and repeatable. Not one of these + answers requires a supernatural force to sustain it or justify it." + ["Chib" on Usenet] +% +"...once a person admits to not believing in God, this raises the + question of whether or not that person believes in America...." + [Chief spokesman for national office of the Boy Scouts] +% +"Worship the gods as if they were present." + [Motto inscribed on door of Chinese temple] +% +"The Bible is one of the most genocidal books in history" + [Noam Chomsky] +% +"When society is in decline, people are bound to turn to belief + in gods; when a man is foolish, he eagerly prays for good luck." + [Wang Chong (A.D. 27-91), early Chinese materialist + philosopher, quoted in "China Reconstructs", Feb. 1988, p. 60] +% +"Knowing what to render unto Caesar and what unto God requires wisdom of + any president. Candidates who reduce religion to a sound bite may not + understand that....[W]e hope the candidates exercise restraint by wearing + religion more in their heart than on their sleeves. The US, after all, + is electing a president, not a preacher, who will run a country, not a + church. Faith is a personal guide best seen in action." + [Christian Science Monitor editorial on the 2000 elections] +% +"Laughter does not seem to be a sin, but it leads to sin." + [St. John Chrysostom, "Homilies"] +% +"Among all the savage beasts, none is so bestial as the woman." + [St. John Chrysostom] +% +"We must not hold back in the battle for children's minds" + [Church of England spokesman] +% +"Today, Jesus' name is used to divide us, to make us intolerant, + bigoted, hateful. There is nowhere Jesus could be born today + were he would feel comfortable. Jesus is being betrayed by the + people who claim to believe in him." + [F. Forrester Church, Unitarian minister and author of + _God and Other Famous Liberals_, quoted in Life Magazine, + Dec. 1994 "Jesus" issue] +% + "History aside, the almost universal opinion that one's own religious +convictions are the reasoned outcome of a dispassionate evaluation of all the +major alternatives is almost demonstrably false for humanity in general. If +that really were the genesis of most people's convictions, then one would +expect the major faiths to be distributed more or less randomly or evenly over +the globe. But in fact they show a very strong tendency to cluster...which +illustrates what we all suspected anyway: that social forces are the primary +determinants of religious belief for people in general. To decide scientific +questions by appeal to religious orthodoxy would therefore be to put social +forces in place of empirical evidence..." + [Paul Churchland,"_Matter and Consciousness: A + Contemporary Introduction to the Philosophy of Mind_] +% +"I wonder that a soothsayer doesn't laugh + whenever he sees another soothsayer." + [Marcus Tullius Cicero] +% + "Tuez-les tous! Dieu reconnaitra les siens!" +"Kill them all; for the Lord knoweth them that are His." + [Arnaud-Amaury, Abbot of Citeaux and Papal Legate, 1209, + referring to 2 Tim. 2.19, when asked how to distinguish + between Catholics and Cathars by Crusaders attacking the + city of Beziers. Story by Caesarius of Heisterbach in + "Dialogue on Miracles", also "Broadview Book of Medieval + Anecodotes", p. 227-228] +% +"Well, I'm all packed and ready to go. I'm an aged agnostic, + unafraid of death and undeluded with thoughts of life hereafter." + [Gregory Clark] +% +"In the relationship between man and religion, the state + is firmly committed to a position of neutrality." + [Thomas Campbell Clark] +% +"...[T]his court has rejected unequivocally the contention that the + Establishment Clause [of the First Amendment] forbids only + governmental preference of one religion over another." + [Justice Tom Clark, lead opinion, School Dist. of + Abington Township v. Schempp, 374 US 203 (1963)] +% +"It is insisted that, unless the [practices of school prayer] are permitted, + a 'religion of secularism' is established in the schools. We agree, of + course, that the State may not establish a 'religion of secularism' in + the sense of affirmatively opposing or showing hostility to religion, thus + 'preferring those who believe in no religion over those who do believe' + Zorach v. Clauson supra at 314. We do not agree, however, that this + decision in any sense has that effect." + [Justice Tom Clark, Opinion for the Court in School + District of Abington Township, Pennsylvania v. + Schempp, 374 U.S. 203 (1963) at 255.] +% +"It may be that our role on this planet is + not to worship God, but to create him." + [Arthur C. Clarke] +% +"You don't believe in organized religion, yet a major theme + in so many of your works seems to be a quest for God." + +"Yes, in a way--a quest for ultimate values, whatever they are. + My objection to organized religion is the premature conclusion + to ultimate truth that it represents..." + [Arthur C. Clarke, in _Playboy_ interview with Ken Kelly, + 1986, from _Arthur C. Clarke: The Authorized Biography_ + by Neil McAleer, Contemporary Books, 1992] +% +"You will find men like him in all of the world's religions. They know + that we represent reason and science, and, however confident they may + be in their beliefs, they fear that we will overthrow their gods. Not + necessarily through any deliberate act, but in a subtler fashion. + Science can destroy a religion by ignoring it as well as by disproving + its tenets. No one ever demonstrated, so far as I am aware, the + nonexistance of Zeus or Thor, but they have few followers now." + [Arthur C. Clarke, "Childhood's End"] +% +"I would defend the liberty of concenting adult creationists + to practice whatever intellectual perversions they like in + the privacy of their own homes; but it is also necessary to + protect the young and innocent." + [Arthur C. Clarke] +% +"A faith that cannot survive collision with + the truth is not worth many regrets." + [Arthur C. Clarke] +% +"The statement that God created man in his own image is ticking + like a time bomb in the foundations of Christianity." + [Arthur C. Clarke] +% +"I have encountered a few "creationists" and because they were usually + nice, intelligent people, I have been unable to decide whether they + were _really_ mad, or only pretending to be mad. If I was a religious + person, I would consider creationism nothing less than blasphemy. Do its + adherents imagine that God is a cosmic hoaxer who has created that whole + vast fossil record for the sole purpose of misleading mankind?" + [Arthur C. Clarke, June 5, 1998, in the essay + "Presidents, Experts, and Asteroids," pp 1532-3] +% +"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." + [Arthur C. Clarke, "Clarke's Third Law" from "Profiles of + the Future: An Inquiry into the Limits of the Possible"] +% +"When I was last in New York I met Woody Allen and I agree with him: "I'm + not frightened of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.' + When I joined the RAF they put me down as C of E. I got hold of the man + handling the paperwork and made them change it to "pantheist'. Now I say + I'm a crypto-Buddhist, but I'm anti-mysticism and I have a long-standing + bias against organised religion. I don't believe in God or an afterlife." + [Arthur C. Clarke, interview, http://www.smh.com.au/ + news/0012/21/entertainment/entertain1.html] +% +"If only more Christians read their bibles there'd be less Christians." + [Derek W. Clayton] +% +"For what is hairy is by nature drier and warmer than what is bare; + therefore, the male is hairier and more warm blooded than the female; + the uncastrated, than the castrated; the mature than the immature." + [Clement of Alexandria, church father, Paedagogus 3.3] +% +"Every woman should be filled with shame by the thought that she is a woman." + [St. Clement of Alexandria from The Tutor, as quoted + in "The Natural Inferiority" of Women compiled by + Tama Starr (New York: Poseidon Press, 1991) p. 45.] +% +"Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote. The relative + positions to be assumed by man and woman in the working out of our + civilization were assigned long ago by a higher intelligence than ours." + [Grover Cleveland, 1905] +% +"Saying your prayers could be a health hazard according to a report in the + Medical Journal of Australia. Dr. Margaret T. Taylor traced a case of lead + poisoning to the rosary beads an eight-year-old girl was in the habit of + kissing. Dr. Taylor suggested that lead poisoning from the same source could + account for anemia among nuns and other members of the Catholic faith." + [Cleveland Press, as quoted in _True Facts_] +% +"It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to + believe anything upon insufficient evidence." + [W. K. Clifford essay + "The Ethics of Belief"] +% +"If a man, holding a belief which he was taught in childhood or persuaded of + afterwards, keeps down and pushes away any doubts which arise about it in + his mind, purposely avoids the reading of books and the company of men + that call into question or discuss it, and regards as impious those + questions which cannot easily be asked without disturbing it--the life + of that man is one long sin against mankind. " + [W. K. Clifford, "Ethics of Belief"] +% +"We are a people of faith. We have been so secure in that faith + that we have enshrined in our Constitution protection for people + who profess no faith. And good for us for doing so. That is + what the First Amendment is all about. " + [Pres. Bill Clinton] +% +"Sometimes I think the environment in which we operate is too secular. + That fact that we have freedom of religion doesn't mean we need to try + to have freedom from religion. It doesn't mean that those of us who + have faith shouldn't frankly admit that we are animated by that faith." + [Pres. Bill Clinton] +% +"The Bible is the authoritative Word of God and contains all truth." + [Pres. Bill Clinton, at a prayer breakfast] +% +"I ask you this whole week to pray for me and pray for the members of + Congress; ask us not to turn away from our ministry. Our ministry is + to do the work of God here on earth" + [Pres. Bill Clinton] +% +"One of the ugly realities of this world is that it is possible to grow + old without ever learning anything besides religious superstitions." + [Clothaire] +% +"Thou shalt have one God only; who would be at the expense of two?" + [Arthur Hugh Clough, The Latest Decalogue] +% +"You read the Bible in your own special ways + you're fond of quoting certain things it says + Mouth full of righteousness and wrath from above + When do we hear about forgiveness and love?" + [Bruce Cockburn, "Gospel of Bondage"] +% +"If life were to be found on a planet, then it would also have + been contaminated by original sin and would require salvation." + [Piero Coda, theology professor in Rome, in a statement to + the Vatican, as reported by Ecumenical News International] +% +"A Roman Catholic priest and theologian has called on his church to + consider the possibility of evangelizing extraterrestrials, according + to published reports. After two Swiss astronomers said they had + discovered the first planet in a solar system similar to Earth's, + Piero Coda, a theology professor in Rome, said any beings living + on the planet would be in need of salvation." + [Associated Baptist Press article, as quoted Jennifer Graham, + Knight-Ridder Newspaper, in "Mork from Ork is going to hell? Some + scholars say extraterrestrials would be tainted by original sin."] +% +"There is no 'Complete Idiots Guide to + Creationism,' but perhaps one is not needed." + [Andrei Codrescu, on NPR Aug. 25, 1999, monologue + on the "Complete Idiot" and "For Dummies" books] +% +"The devil and God are components of a Siamese twin. Neither has any + existence apart from the other. In denying the existence of the one, + Christians have helped to kill the other. If there need to be no fear + of hell, people may well ask what is the attraction of heaven? Gods and + devils were born together. Gods and devils will die together." + [Chapman Cohen, "The Devil", Pamphlets for the People, no. 6] +% +"Regularity in Nature is not proof of the control of Nature by a Divine + intelligence; it is rather the reverse. If something- call it matter, + or ether, or x - exists, it must operate in accordance with its innate + qualities; and so long as this x remains uncontrolled, its manifestations + will continue unchallenged- in other words, there will be "order". The + same causes, the same results. That is the manifest signs of a natural + "order" that knows nothing of God." + [Chapman Cohen] +% +"Now, primitive man is neither a metaphysician nor an idealist. He does not + concern himself with the origin and destiny of the universe, nor even with + its nature, except so far as his necessities compel him to form some + conclusions as to the nature of the forces around him. His gods are in no + sense a creation of an "idealising faculty," they are the most concrete + matter-of-fact expressions. It is not even a question of morality. He does + not say, "Let us make gods in the interest of morality and the higher life"; + it is the sheer pressure of facts upon an uninformed mind that leads him to + believe in those extra-natural beings, whose anger he is bound to placate." + [Chapman Cohen] +% +"Freethinkers who accompany their statement of unbelief with a "wistful + regret"... express their unbelief in so mournful a manner as to furnish + some little support to the religious theorist. But the fully-fledged + Atheist will not live up to the character. Instead of weeping, he laughs. + Instead of being miserable, he is happy. Instead of regretting the loss + of his old faith, he unblushingly declares his joy of having got rid of it. + Insted of being grateful for the sympathy of the Christian, he confounds + his impertinence and expresses his sympathy with the deluded believer by + seeking to convince him of the error of his ways." + [Chapman Cohen] +% +"Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by + a whiff of science or a dose of common sense." + [Chapman Cohen] +% +"Who knows the origin of religion? Certainly not the one who + believes in it. Understanding and belief are quite antagonistic. + The man who understands religion does not believe in it, the + man who believes in it does not understand it." + [Chapman Cohen, "Essays in Freethinking"] +% +"If religion cannot restrain evil, it cannot claim effective power for good." + [Morris Cohen] +% +"A whole generation started the day with prayer and ended up not + benefiting very much from it. After all, it was not 7-year-olds + who gathered stoned and naked at Woodstock." + [Richard Cohen] +% +"Ignorance is the mother of devotion." + [Dean Henry Cole] +% +"He who begins by loving Christianity more than Truth, will proceed + by loving his sect or church better than Christianity, and end in + loving himself better than all." + [Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834), English poet, critic. + Aids to Reflection, "Moral and Religious Aphorisms," aph. 25 + (1825; repr. in Works, vol. 1, ed. by Professor Shedd, 1853)] +% +"To doubt has more of faith ... than that blank negation + of all such thoughts and feelings which is the lot of + the herd of church-and-meeting trotters." + [Samuel Taylor Coleridge] +% +"Christianity demands entire subordination to its edicts. + Until the majority of the people are emancipated from + authority over their minds, we are not safe." + [Lucy Colman, abolitionist, in her autobiography, + "Reminiscences" (1891), p. 7, from James A. Haught, + ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief] +% +"A religion that has a personal God, outside of humanity, to worship and to + please, is quite apt to get appointed an official to regulate the people, + and particularly to execute punishment adequate to the offense committed + against an Infinite Ruler of the Universe. Humanity so likes authority, + it seems sometimes as if it gloated upon the sufferings of its fellows." + [Lucy Colman] +% +"We are approaching a time when Christians, especially, may have to + declare the social contract between Enlightenment rationalists and + biblical believers -- which formed the basis of the Constitution written + at our nation's founding-- null and void because it has been breached." + [Charles Colson, ex-Watergate crook/prison evangelist] +% +"He that dies a martyr proves that he was not a knave, + but by no means that he was not a fool." + [Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832), + English author & clergyman, "Lacon"] +% +"Some reputed saints that have been canonized ought to have been cannonaded." + [Charles Caleb Colton, "Lacon", from James A. + Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief] +% +"All theological tendencies, whether Catholic, Protestant, or Deist, really + serve to prolong and aggravate our moral anarchy, because they hinder the + diffusion of that social sympathy and breadth of view without which we can + never attain fixity of principle and regularity of life." + [August Comte, from "General View of + Positivism," a published speech] +% +"I told the priest- + "don't count on + any second coming. + God got his ass kicked + the first time he + came down here slumming + He had the balls to come, + the gall to die and then + forgive us- + No, I don't wonder why + I wonder what he thought + it would get us." + [Concrete Blonde, "tomorrow, Wendy" + from "Bloodletting" album, 1991] +% +"Do unto another what you would have him do unto you, and do not + do unto another what you would not have him do unto you. Thou + needest this law alone. It is the foundation of all the rest." + [Confucious' version of the "Golden Rule", + predating the Christian version by 500 years] +% +"(9) Phyllis receives Holy Communion this morning without fasting. For the + past five weeks she has been a patient in the hospital. She is not in + danger of death, and will not be discharged from the hospital for a week + or ten days. At 7:00 o'clock [sic] this morning the nurse gave her a glass + of orange juice and some medicine; at 8 o'clock she enjoyed a glass of milk. + The priest came with Holy Communion at 8:30 and permits [sic] her to receive + without fasting. Please explain matters." + [Connell, Rev. Francis J., C.SS.R., S.T.D. The New Confraternity + Edition Revised Baltimore Catechism No. 3. The Text of the official + revised edition, 1949, with summarizations of doctrine and study helps. + Benziger Bros. Inc., New York, 1949. Study Helps, page 220] +% +"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; + men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." + [Joseph Conrad] +% +"For every age is fed on illusions, lest men should + renounce life early, and the human race come to an end." + [Joseph Conrad] +% +"Skepticism... is the agent of truth." + [Joseph Conrad] +% +"Christianity has lent itself with amazing facility + to cruel distortion . . . and has brought an infinity + of anguish to innumerable souls on this earth." + [Joseph Conrad (Korzeniowski), Polish-born + English author (1857-1924)] +% +"And I just want to say...anyone who quotes the bible...that's bullshit. + Because the bible is a book that has fucked up the world more than any + other single book. A book that was written by a bunch of male chauvinists." + [Consolidated, "Dominion"] +% +"No person who denies the being of God shall hold any + office [in] the civil departments of this State, nor + be competent to testify as a witness in any court." + [Constitution of the State of Arkansas, Art. 19, + Sec.1; violates the US Constitutional prohibition + against religious tests for public office, and + was ignored by Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton] +% +"Surprisingly, recent research suggests that a religious person is more likely + to commit a crime than a non-religious person. One can even argue that the + more religious the society, the more likely it is to have high crime rates." + ["Religion and Crime: Do They Go Together?", by Lisa Conyers + and Philip D. Harvey, Summer 1996 issue of _Free Inquiry_] +% +"In the beginning, God created the Baptists. And the Baptists looked + at themselves and said: We good. And God saw it was too late. And + on the 8th day God said, OK Murphy, you take over. I disbelieved + in reincarnation in my last life, too." + [coolsig.com website, August 4, 1999] +% +"Surely, it would be fascinating to have a real encounter with + another intelligence [i.e., an alien]. I think we'd have to + consider whether we should baptize him." + [Rev. Chris Corbally, Catholic astronomer, scientist] +% +"Screw guilt, I could have sex with 10 men and it + wouldn't bother me, I'm an atheist!" + [Adam Corolla, host of MTV's "Loveline" show, + responding to a licensed minister who couldn't + suppress his feelings of homosexuality] +% +"As "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make one drink," so also, + "You can drag a Christian to the truth, but you can't make one think." + [Delmar Coughlin] +% +"The problem with Protestantism is that it's not + quite silly enough to be rejected out of hand." + [R. Craig Coulter] +% +"I am a prophet sent by God to declare the destruction + of the United States because of abortion." + [Michael Courtney, net.fundie] +% +A man said to the Universe, +"Sir, I exist!" +"However," replied the Universe, +"The fact has not created in me +A sense of obligation." + [Stephen Crane, Poem 96 + from _War_Is_Kind_, 1899] +% +"Why does god cause tornados and train wrecks?" + [Crash Test Dummies] +% +"Out of your palaces, princes and queens + Out of your churches, you clergy, you christs + I'll neither live nor die for your dreams + I'll make no subscription to your paradise + JESUS DIED FOR HIS OWN SINS, NOT MINE" + [Crass] +% +"When God the Son squeezed energy into atoms, he squeezed and held the atom so + tightly that there were no unstable elements and therefore no radioactivity. + At the fall [of Adam and Eve], He relaxed His grip slightly... which affected + every atom and allowed some to become unstable, i.e., radioactivity! + [Creation Research Society Quarterly, March 1982] +% +"Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. + For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are + told--and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The + characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the + characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for + territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings + fight for their 'beliefs.' The reason is that beliefs guide behavior, + which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when + our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume + we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. + Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion." + [Michael Crichton in "The Lost World"] +% +"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a + woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of + the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?" + [Quentin Crisp] +% +"It was man who first made men believe in gods." + [Critias (480-403 B.C.E.)] +% +"Philosophy removes from religion all reason for existing." + [Benedetto Croce, "Aesthetic", quoted by Will Durant] +% +"Keep your faith in God, but keep your powder dry." + [Oliver Cromwell] +% +"I slept with Faith, and found a corpse in my arms on awaking; I drank + and danced all night with Doubt, and found her a virgin in the morning." + [Aleister Crowley, _The Book of Lies_] +% +"If one were to take the bible seriously, one would go mad. + But to take the bible seriously, one must be already mad." + [Aleister Crowley] +% +"There are no atheists in the foxholes." + [William Thomas Cummings, + _Field_Sermon_on_Bataan_ (1942)] +% +"The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is + that someday they might force their beliefs on us." + [Mario Cuomo] +% +"If the theists all shut up, the + gods would be speechless." + [Robert Curry, on HolySmoke] +% +"Virgins give birth all the time! + Yeah. They just don't tip the stork." + [Robert Curry] +% +"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: + Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners... But for + that very reason, I was shown mercy so that in me... Jesus + Christ might display His unlimited patience as an example + for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. + Now to the king eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, + be honor and glory forever and ever." + [Jeffrey Dahmer, convicted serial killer, in a statement + to the court, Milwaukee, WI, February 17, 1992] +% +"The great danger of these religious charlatans lies in their unremitting + attack on the separation of church and state in an effort to legislate + their theological beliefs. Whether they are motivated from the desire for + personal aggrandizement and greed, or sincere but misplaced superstition, + they pose a very real danger to the liberties of all Americans." + [Joseph L. Daleiden, "The Final Superstition: A Critical + Evaluation of Judeo-Christian Legacy", p.439] +% +"Despite the suppression of thought, as humankind became more sophisticated + in its knowledge of the workings of nature, it was only natural that some + people began to question the efficacy of the priests and their magical + rituals. Indeed, as people became aware of natural causes, they began to + question the very existence of the gods themselves. The priests' answer to + this skepticism was twofold: invoking the power of the state to exterminate + dangerous freethought, and concurrently developing even more complex, + serpentine, theological logic. Many philosophers were not taken in by this + specious reasoning. They demonstrated that, fundamentally, all theology and + metaphysics is pseudolearning, a semantic sleight of hand to give the + appearance that superstitious beliefs have an intellectual, rational + foundation. They further showed that, by definition, God, if he existed, + would be unknowable. Yet theology--bolstered by the semantic alchemy of + metaphysics--attempted to discuss God as if he could be discovered by + reason or experience." + [Joseph L. Daleiden, "The Final Superstition: A Critical + Evaluation of Judeo-Christian Legacy", p.385] +% +"In the final analysis all theology, whether Christian or otherwise, is a + marvelous excercise in logic based on premises that are no more verifiable-- + or reasonable-- than astrology, palmistry, or belief in the Easter Bunny. + Theology pretends to search for truth, but no method could lead a person + farther away from the truth than that intellectual charade. The purpose of + theology is first and foremost to perpetuate the religious status quo. + Religion, in turn, seeks to maintain the social stability necessary for + its own preservation." + [Joseph L. Daleiden, "The Final Superstition: A Critical + Evaluation of Judeo-Christian Legacy", p.386] +% +"One does not need to puzzle long over why religionists hate atheists so + venomously. Atheist stir up the suppressed doubts of believers to the point + of producing anguish. This is the anguish that incited believers to burn + heretics and atheists at the stake in olden times to remove the source of + the unsettling, disturbing doubts that plagued the believers." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Most atheist do waste their lives battling against the unconquerable monster + of religion--a monster impervious to the spears of reason, impenetrable by + the bullets of logic, and insensible to even the thrust of common sense." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"You make money promoting religion; you only spend money promoting atheism." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"The positive and negative reinforcements of religion verses atheism + tell quite a story. First of all, most religions promise you Heaven + and promise that your enemies will be punished in Hell. What these + promises amount to is an assurance of justice, one of humankind's + greatest longings. Atheism promises nothing." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Everybody's life is a tragedy but the life of an atheist seems especially + tragic. When the atheist dies he realizes that his whole life was in + vain, that he entered a world that reeked with the stench of religion and + leaves it still holding his nose." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"People like the authority figures and moral absolutes of religion to guide + them so they can know the right path to trod in a very confusing world. + They like to feel that they are walking on the solid rock of infallible + religion rather than on the shifting sands of tentative science and moral + relativity. People also like the warm, loving acceptance by religious + groups, and emotional fulfillment that gives them a closer feeling to God + and their church. And mysticism just by itself seems to fulfill a deep, + primitive emotional need for most humans." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"The average person in fulfilling his need to believe, in yielding to + the urge of his herd instinct and in reaping the many advantages religion + offers is following the path of the least resistance and greatest reward." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"The religionists apologize that although the Bible was inspired by God, + it was, unfortunately, written by ancient, ignorant, half-civilized people." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Immature and defenseless children are early indoctrinated with religious + ideas by their parents, grandparents, Sunday school teachers, etc. By + adulthood they become convinced that they possess the truth, and spend + the rest of their lives elaborating and defending their religion." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Pragmatists are correct in observing that people fare better in any society + by accepting the society's religion, mores, values; by conforming rather + than by dissenting. People living in a religious community find that they + fit in better, adjust more easily, prosper better, feel more secure and + are happier if they accept the prevailing religion." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"The common behavior of believers in proclaiming their beliefs + repetitiously and with emotional intensity is in itself evidence of doubt. + They wish to overwhelm their doubts with decibels and iteration." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"It logically follows that the small sects, which feel the most + alone and least supported in their views, work the hardest for + new converts to dispel their nagging doubts." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"People, upon finding the "truth," spend the remainder of their lives + defending it. Christianity protects itself against the doubting of its + theology by making doubting one of its greatest sins. By contrast, + doubting is the greatest virtue of science." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Liberals who have actually read the Bible rationalize their adherence + to Christianity by saying that the Bible doesn't really mean what it + says. In calling themselves Christians, they are appropriating a + hallowed name and applying it to a made-up religion of their own." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Personal dishonesty seems to be a necessary basis for religion. That + is understandable. Children are indoctrinated with a code of behavior + that is instinctually impossible to follow. So they regularly violate + the code and to avoid punishment cover up the violations by lying. + For them, lying becomes part of their religion." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"From the earliest Christian times, the Church has defended itself against + exposure of its fraudulent nature by persecuting scientist, torturing + dissidents, censoring literature, burning blasphemers, brainstuffing the + laity--in every way possible keeping the populace steeped in ignorance, + terrorized by fear and subjugated to the Church." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Even a religion like Christianity purportedly created to + champion the poor and downtrodden was later taken over by + the rich and powerful for their own benefit." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"It logically follows that if Christianity is true, then reason + if false. If human reason is false, how does one account for + the great marvels created by science based on human reason?" + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"If reason be a gift of Heaven, and we can say as much of faith, Heaven + has certainly made us two gifts not only incompatible, but in direct + contradiction to each other. In order to solve the difficulty, we are + compelled to say either that faith is a chimera or that reason is useless." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Believers are interested in fulfilling emotional and spiritual needs, not + intellectual needs. In some cases one might as well try to use reason an + a dog. For many people God is primarily a warm feeling. How can one argue + with a warm feeling. Arguing with someone who places reason below faith + and biblical authority is blowing against the wind." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"One finds it inexplicable that an all-powerful God would try to make his + will known to the world by revealing himself to such few people. It + was revelation only to those few; to the rest of the world and future + generations it was hearsay--passed by word of mouth for many generations. + Yet such hearsay is the very foundation of Judeo-Christianity." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"One wonders why God would choose a Bible to reveal himself + thousands of years before the invention of the printing + press and at a time when few people could read." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"While God routinely punishes the innocent, he perversely rewards the guilty. + According to one Christian scheme of salvation the worst sinners, no matter + how much raping, robbing, swindling, murdering and mutilating they have done + in their rotten lifetime, can get into Heaven by merely acknowledging God's + son Jesus as their Savior; they can enjoy eternal bliss right along with + good people who have earned it." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"The advances of science have not been accepted gracefully. They have + been denounced by the church and resisted by the populace. The leaders + of scientific discovery have been vilified, harassed, persecuted, tortured, + imprisoned and executed. But the weight of evidence and practical results + piled up by science is invincible--something that many of today's + fundamentalists still haven't learned." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"With science unable to give us the answers, religion steps in and fills + the gap of our ignorance with nonsense, fantasies and pretentious lies. + Prophets and priests rush in where scientists fear to tread." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Religionists claim that their truth is absolute and rock solid, while + scientists concede that their truth is tentative and relative." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"God, being accredited as responsible for everything we cannot + explain otherwise, becomes the symbol of our ignorance." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"What could be more negative thinking than belief that sex and procreation, + without which there could be no life on Earth, are dirty and sinful! Our + obsession with sex and morality has produced a sexually sick, sadistic, + perverted, frustrated, aggressive, violence-prone society." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Another benefit of religion is the raising of one's self-esteem--the + feeling that one is superior to soulless lower animals as well as + superior to nonbelievers because one is saved and chosen for eternity." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"It is little wonder that these generally ignorant, seedy, morally shoddy + types (televangelists) achieve amazing success. They are treated as + sacrosanct by a government fearful of offending religion. Not held + financially accountable as are other businessmen, and enjoying religious + exemptions from various taxes and from numerous government regulations, + they easily amass millions of dollars from a gullible public." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"The really incredible part of Christian theology is God's demanding after + perpetrating his brutal crimes and injustices on humankind and ordering + his own son murdered--demanding that humankind honor him, worship him, + kneel down to him, and sing his praises day and night forever." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Much of humankind's intellectual and emotional struggle has been + not for truth, but against truth. The advance of science has been + sporadically fought against for thousands of years." + [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"] +% +"Without doubt you are not sane." + [Tage Danielsson] +% +"The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and + fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are + drifting side by side to our common doom." + [Clarence Darrow] +% +"I believe that religion is the belief in future life + and in God. I don't believe in either. I don't believe + in God as I don't believe in Mother Goose." + [Clarence Darrow, speech, Toronto, 1930, + quoted in "Manual of a Perfect Atheist" by Rius] +% +"I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know + what many ignorant men are sure of." + [Clarence Darrow] +% +"The fact that there is a general belief in + a future life is no evidence of its truth." + [Clarence Darrow] +% +"Even many of those who claim to believe in immortality still tell themselves + and others that neither side of the question is susceptible of proof. Just + what can these hopeful ones believe that the word "proof" involves? The + evidence against the persistence of personal consciousness is as strong as + the the evidence for gravitation, and much more obvious. It is as convincing + and unassailable as the proof of the destruction of wood or coal by fire. + If it is not certain that death ends personal identity and memory, then + almost nothing that man accepts as true is susceptible as proof." + [Clarence Darrow, "The Myth of Immortality"] +% +"They were allowed to stay there on one condition, and that is + that they didn't eat of the tree of knowledge. That has been + the condition of the Christian church from then until now. + They haven't eaten as yet, as a rule they do not." + [Clarence Seward Darrow, American lawyer (1857-1938)] +% +"To think is to differ." + [Clarence Darrow, + Scopes trial, July 1925] +% +"I say that religion is the belief in future life + and in God. I don't believe in either." + [Clarence Darrow, interview, + N.Y. Times, 19 April 1936] +% +"The origin of the absurd idea of immortal life is easy to discover; + it is kept alive by hope and fear, by childish faith, and by cowardice." + [Clarence Darrow] +% +"In spite of all the yearnings of men, no one can produce a single + fact or reason to support the belief in God and in personal immortality." + [Clarence Darrow, The Sign, May 1938] +% +"Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt." + [Clarence Darrow] +% +"If today you can take a thing like evolution and make it a crime to teach + in the public schools, tomorrow you can make it a crime to teach it in the + private schools and next year you can make it a crime to teach it to the + hustings or in the church. At the next session you may ban books and the + newspapers... Ignorance and fanaticism are ever busy and need feeding. Always + feeding and gloating for more. Today it is the public school teachers; + tomorrow the private. The next day the preachers and the lecturers, the + magazines, the books, the newspapers. After a while, Your Honor, it is the + setting of man against man and creed against creed until with flying banners + and beating drums we are marching backward to the glorious ages of the + sixteenth centry when bigots lighted fagots to burn the men who dared to + bring any intelligence and enlightenment and culture to the human mind." + [Clarence Darrow, at the Scopes Monkey Trial, 1925] +% +"People are such damned idiots, they know a little about biology. They + know, for instance that you can produce a fat hog or a thin hog and + they get to believing that you can produce wise men. A preacher is + just as apt to produce a criminal as anyone else - more so, perhaps. + Children don't like to stay around preacher's houses. They run away." + [Clarence Darrow, quoted in The + Houston Press, Mar. 11, 1931] +% +"If that story [Creation] was necessary to keep me out of + hell and put me in heaven -- necessary for my life -- I + wouldn't believe it because I couldn't believe it." + [Clarence Darrow] +% +"On the ordinary view of each species having been + independently created, we gain no scientific explanation..." + [Charles Darwin] +% +"I can hardly see how anyone ought to wish Christianity to be true; for if + so the plain language of the text seems to show that the men who do not + believe, and this would include my Father, Brother and almost all my best + friends, will be everlastingly punished. And this is a damnable doctrine." + [Charles Darwin] +% +"For myself, I do not believe in any revelation. As + for a future life, every man must judge for himself + between conflicting vague probabilities." + [Charles Darwin] +% +"The assumed instinctive belief in God has been used by many persons as + an argument for His existence. But this is a rash argument, as we + should thus be compelled to believe in the existence of cruel and + malignant spirits, only a little more powerful than man; for the + belief in them is far more general than in a beneficent Diety." + [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man"] +% +"I gradually came to disbelieve in Christianity as a divine revelation... + Disbelief crept over me at a very slow rate, but was at last complete. + The rate was so slow that I felt no distress, and have never since + doubted even for a single second that my conclusion was correct." + [Charles Darwin] +% +"I am a strong advocate for free thought on all subjects, yet it appears to + me (whether rightly or wrongly) that direct arguments against christianity + & theism produce hardly any effect on the public; & freedom of thought is + best promoted by the gradual illumination of men's minds, which follows + from the advance of science. It has, therefore, been always my object to + avoid writing on religion, & I have confined myself to science. I may, + however, have been unduly biassed by the pain which it would give some + members of my family, if I aided in any way direct attacks on religion." + [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man", p.645] +% +"On seeing the marsupials in Australia for the first time and + comparing them to placental mammals: "An unbeliever ...might + exclaim 'Surely two distinct Creators must have been at work'" + [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man", p. 178] +% +"..we can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe, nay whole + systems of universe[s,] to be governed by laws, but the smallest + insect, we wish to be created at once by special act" + [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man", p. 218] +% +"I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would + have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of + their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars." + [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man", p. 479] +% +"The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by + us; and I for one must be content to remain an agnostic." + [Charles Darwin, "Life and Letters"] +% +"Now must we overlook the probability of the constant inculcation in a + belief in God on the minds of children, producing so strong and perhaps + an inherited effect on their brains not fully developed, that it would + be as difficult for them to throw off their belief in God, as for a + monkey to throw off its instinctive fear and hatred of a snake." + [Charles Darwin] +% +"For my part I would as soon be descended from a baboon...as from a + savage who delights to torture his enemies...treats his wives like + slaves...and is haunted by the grossest superstitions." + [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man"] +% +"If women reaching their sexual peak at age 34 while men reach it + at 18 is not proof that God is a woman, then I don't know what is." + [Peter David] +% +"People who are bitter and hateful about slavery are obviously bitter and + hateful against God and his word, because they reject what God says and + embrace what mere humans say concerning slavery. This humanistic + thinking is what the abolitionists embraced." + [Alabama State Senator Charles Davidson, citing + biblical defenses of slavery, 1996] +% + gullibility + arrogance +Unshakable faith = ------------ + common sense + + [Scott Davies (scottd@cory.EECS.Berkeley.EDU) + on alt.atheism.moderated] +% +"The fact that the ontological argument reeks of logical trickery belies its + philosophical force. It has in fact been taken very seriously by many + philosophers over the years, including briefly by the atheistic Bertrand + Russell. Nevertheless, even theologians have not generally been prepared to + defend it. One problem lies with the treatment of "existence" as if it were + a property of things, like mass or color. Thus the argument obliges one to + compare the concepts of gods-that-really-exist and gods-that-don't-really- + exist. But existence is not the sort of attribute to be placed alongside + normal physical properties. I can meaningfully talk about having five + little coins and six big coins in my pocket, but what does it mean for me + to say that I have five existing coins and six nonexistent coins?" + [Paul Davis, "The Mind of God", on the + "ontological" argument for God's existence] +% +"There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the + existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any + marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat + engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool. This is + obviously impossible." + [Richard Davisson] +% +"Consider the idea of God. We do not know how it arose in the meme pool. + Probably it originated many times by independent 'mutation.' In any case, + it is very old indeed. How does it replicate itself? By the spoken and + written word, aided by great music and great art. Why does it have such + high survival value? Remember that 'survival value' here does not mean + value for a gene in a gene pool, but value for a meme in a meme pool. The + question really means: What is it about the idea of a god that gives it its + stability and penetrance in the cultural environment? The survival value of + the god meme in the meme pool results from its great psychological appeal. + It provides a superficially plausible answer to deep and troubling + questions about existence. It suggests that injustices in this world may be + rectified in the next. The 'everlasting arms' hold out a cushion against + our own inadequacies which, like a doctor's placebo, is none the less + effective for being imaginary. There are some of the reasons why the idea + of God is copied so readily by successive generations of individual brains. + God exists, if only in the form of a meme with high survival value, or + infective power, in the environment provided by human culture." + [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"] +% +"Another meme of the religious meme complex is called faith. It means blind + trust, in the absence of evidence, even in the teeth of evidence. The story + of Doubting Thomas is told, not so that we shall admire Thomas, but so that + we can admire the other apostles in comparison. Thomas demanded evidence. + Nothing is more lethal for certain kinds of meme than a tendency to look + for evidence. The other apostles, whose faith was so strong that they did + not need evidence, are held up to us as worthy of imitation. The meme for + blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious + expedient of discouraging rational inquiry." + [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"] +% +"Blind faith can justify anything. In a man believes in a different god, or + even if he uses a different ritual for worshipping the same god, blind + faith can decree that he should die - on the cross, at the stake, skewered + on a Crusader's sword, shot in a Beirut street, or blown up in a bar in + Belfast. Memes for blind faith have their own ruthless ways of propagating + themselves. This is true of patriotic and political as well as religious + blind faith." + [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"] +% +"I think what attracts me about the Electric Monk is that it's such + an eloquent example of the futility of belief for belief's sake. I + mean there's only any point in believing something if it's true." + [Richard Dawkins, interview with Douglas Adams] +% +"And it's not just faith itself: it's the idea that faith is a virtue and the + less evidence there is, the more virtuous it is. You can actually quote, + well, Tertullian for example: "It is certain because it is impossible." + Sir Thomas Brown, actually seeking for more difficult things to believe, + because things for which there is mere evidence are just too easy, and it's + no test of his faith. In order to have a test of your faith, you must be + asked to believe really daft things like the transubstantiation, you know, + the blood of Christ turning into wine, and stuff... That is so manifestly + absurd that you've got to be a really great believer, in the class of the + Electric Monk, in order to believe it..... You're actually showing off your + believing credentials by the ability to believe something like that... + If it were an easy thing to believe, substantiated by facts, then it + wouldn't be any great achievement." + [Richard Dawkins, interview with Douglas Adams] +% +"The level of awe that you get by contemplating the modern scientific view of + the universe: deep time (by which I mean geological time), deep space, and + what you could call deep complexity, living things..... that level of awe is + just orders of magnitude greater and more awe-inspiring than the sort of + pokey medieval world-view which the church still actually has. I mean, they + sort of pay lip-service to the scientific world-view, but if you listen to + what they say on Thought For The Day [a religious program on BBC Radio] and + things like that, it is medieval. It's a small world, a small universe, with + the sky up there, very little advance since that time. So I yield to nobody + in my awe for the universe and for life, but I also have a deep desire to + understand it, in terms of what makes it work, what makes it tick, and not + to take refuge in spurious non-explanations like "I just believe it + because I believe it," that sort of thing." + [Richard Dawkins, interview with Douglas Adams] +% +"On the contrary, if the universe were just electrons and selfish genes, + meaningless tragedies like the crashing of this bus [full of children + from a Roman Catholic school and for no apparent reason but with wholesale + loss of life] are exactly what we should expect, along with equally + meaningless _good_ [italics in original] fortune. Such a universe would + be neither evil nor good in intention. It would manifest no intentions of + any kind. In a universe of blind physical forces and genetic replication, + some people are going to get hurt, other people are going to get lucky, + and you won't find any rhyme or reason in it, nor any justice. The + universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if + there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, and no good, nothing + but blind, pitiless indifference." + [Richard Dawkins, _River Out of Eden: A Darwinian View of + Life_, 1995, BasicBooks, New York; ISBN 0-465-01606-5 + Also quoted in "God's Utility Function", pg 85, November, + 1995 _Scientific American_] +% +"Science offers us an explanation of how complexity (the difficult) arose + out of simplicity (the easy). The hypothesis of God offers no worthwhile + explanation for anything, for it simply postulates what we are trying to + explain. It postulates the difficult to explain, and leaves it at that. + We cannot prove that there is no God, but we can safely conclude the He + is very, very improbable indeed." + [Richard Dawkins, from the _New Humanist_, the Journal + of the Rationalist Press Association, Vol 107 No 2] +% +"The analogy between telescope and eye, between watch and living organism, is + false. All appearances to the contrary, the only watchmaker in nature is the + blind forces of physics, albeit deployed in a very special way. A true + watchmaker has foresight: he designs his cogs and springs, and plans their + interconnections, with a future purpose in his mind's eye. Natural selection, + the blind, unconscious, automatic process which Darwin discovered, and which + we now know is the explanation for the existence and apparently purposeful + form of all life, has no purpose in mind. It has no mind and no mind's eye. + It does not plan for the future. It has no vision, no foresight, no sight at + all. If it can be said to play the role of watchmaker in nature, it is the + blind watchmaker." + [Richard Dawkins, _The Blind Watchmaker_ + (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1987), p. 5] +% +"The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only + theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the + existence of organized complexity." + [Richard Dawkins, _The Blind Watchmaker_ + (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1987), p. 317] +% +"In childhood our credulity serves us well. It helps us to pack, with + extraordinary rapidity, our skulls full of the wisdom of our parents and + our ancestors. But if we don't grow out of it in the fullness of time, + our ... nature makes us a sitting target for astrologers, mediums, gurus, + evangelists, and quacks. We need to replace the automatic credulity + of childhood with the constructive skepticism of adult science." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"I have just discovered that without her father's consent this + sweet, trusting, gullible six-year-old is being sent, for weekly + instruction, to a Roman Catholic nun. What chance has she?" + [Richard Dawkins, "Viruses of the Mind"] +% +"The second requirement of a virus-friendly environment --- that it should + obey a program of coded instructions --- is again only quantitatively less + true for brains than for cells or computers. We sometimes obey orders from + one another, but also we sometimes don't. Nevertheless, it is a telling fact + that, the world over, the vast majority of children follow the religion of + their parents rather than any of the other available religions. Instructions + to genuflect, to bow towards Mecca, to nod one's head rhythmically towards + the wall, to shake like a maniac, to ``speak in tongues'' --- the list of + such arbitrary and pointless motor patterns offered by religion alone is + extensive --- are obeyed, if not slavishly, at least with some reasonably + high statistical probability." + [Richard Dawkins, "Viruses of the Mind"] +% +"The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the + simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry." + [Richard Dawkins, "Viruses of the Mind"] +% +"With so many mindbytes to be downloaded, so many mental codons to be + replicated, it is no wonder that child brains are gullible, open to + almost any suggestion, vulnerable to subversion, easy prey to Moonies, + Scientologists and nuns. Like immune-deficient patients, children are + wide open to mental infections that adults might brush off without effort." + [Richard Dawkins, "Viruses of the Mind"] +% +"If you have a faith, it is statistically overwhelmingly likely that it + is the same faith as your parents and grandparents had. No doubt soaring + cathedrals, stirring music, moving stories and parables, help a bit. + But by far the most important variable determining your religion is the + accident of birth. The convictions that you so passionately believe + would have been a completely different, and largely contradictory, set + of convictions, if only you had happened to be born in a different place. + Epidemiology, not evidence." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"Out of all of the sects in the world, we notice an uncanny coincidence: + the overwhelming majority just happen to choose the one that their parents + belong to. Not the sect that has the best evidence in its favour, the best + miracles, the best moral code, the best cathedral, the best stained glass, + the best music: when it comes to choosing from the smorgasbord of available + religions, their potential virtues seem to count for nothing, compared to + the matter of heredity. This is an unmistakable fact; nobody could + seriously deny it. Yet people with full knowledge of the arbitrary nature + of this heredity, somehow manage to go on believing in *their* religion, + often with such fanaticism that they are prepared to murder people who + follow a different one." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"Hot on the heels of its magnanimous pardoning of Galileo, the Vatican has now + moved with even more lightning speed to recognise the truth of Darwinism." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"Religious people split into three main groups when faced + with science. I shall label them the "know-nothings", + the "know-alls", and the "no-contests." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"It is often said, mainly by the "no-contests", that although there is no + positive evidence for the existence of God, nor is there evidence against + his existence. So it is best to keep an open mind and be agnostic. At first + sight that seems an unassailable position, at least in the weak sense of + Pascal's wager. But on second thoughts it seems a cop-out, because the same + could be said of Father Christmas and tooth fairies. There may be fairies at + the bottom of the garden. There is no evidence for it, but you can't *prove* + that there aren't any, so shouldn't we be agnostic with respect to fairies?" + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"I suspect that today if you asked people to justify their belief in God, + the dominant reason would be scientific. Most people, I believe, think + that you need a God to explain the existence of the world, and especially + the existence of life. They are wrong, but our education system is such + that many people don't know it. " + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"A universe with a God would look quite different from a universe without + one. A physics, a biology where there is a God is bound to look different." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"The trouble is that God in this sophisticated, physicist's sense bears no + resemblance to the God of the Bible or any other religion. If a physicist + says God is another name for Planck's constant, or God is a superstring, we + should take it as a picturesque metaphorical way of saying that the nature + of superstrings or the value of Planck's constant is a profound mystery. + It has obviously not the smallest connection with a being capable of + forgiving sins, a being who might listen to prayers, who cares about + whether or not the Sabbath begins at 5pm or 6pm, whether you wear a veil + or have a bit of arm showing; and no connection whatever with a being + capable of imposing a death penalty on His son to expiate the sins of + the world before and after he was born. " + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need + to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, + even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"Science offers us an explanation of how complexity (the difficult) + arose out of simplicity (the easy). The hypothesis of God offers + no worthwhile explanation for anything, for it simply postulates + what we are trying to explain." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"Thus the creationist's favourite question "What is the use of half an + eye?" Actually, this is a lightweight question, a doddle to answer. + Half an eye is just 1 per cent better than 49 per cent of an eye..." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"Certainly I see the scientific view of the world as incompatible with + religion, but that is not what is interesting about it. It is also + incompatible with magic, but that also is not worth stressing. What is + interesting about the scientific world view is that it is true, + inspiring, remarkable and that it unites a whole lot of phenomena + under a single heading." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"Religions do make claims about the universe--the same kinds of + claims that scientists make, except they're usually false." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"Who will say with confidence that sexual abuse is more + permanently damaging to children than threatening them + with the eternal and unquenchable fires of hell?" + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"I am against religion because it teaches us to + be satisfied with not understanding the world." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"We no longer have to resort to superstition when faced with the deep + problems: Is there a meaning to life? What are we for? What is man?" + [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"] +% +"They express a preference for 'natural' methods of population + limitation, and a natural method is exactly what they are going + to get. It is called starvation." + [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"] +% +"There is no spirit-driven life force, no throbbing, heaving, + pullulating, protoplasmic, mystic jelly. Life is just bytes + and bytes and bytes of digital information." + [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"] +% +"Scientific beliefs are supported by evidence, and they + get results. Myths and faiths are not and do not." + [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"] +% +"This is one of the hardest lessons for humans to learn. We cannot admit that + things might be neither good nor evil, neither cruel nor kind, but simply + callous - indifferent to all suffering, lacking all purpose." + [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"] +% +"If there is only one Creator who made the tiger and the lamb, + the cheetah and the gazelle, what is He playing at? Is he a + sadist who enjoys spectator blood sports? ... Is he manuvering + to maximize David Attenborough's television ratings?" + [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"] +% +"The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should + expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil + and no good, nothing but blind pitiless indifference." + [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"] +% +"If all the achievements of scientists were wiped out tomorrow, there would be + no doctors, but witch doctors, no transport faster than horses, no computers, + no printed books, no agriculture beyond subsistence peasant farming. If all + the achievements of theologians were wiped out tomorrow, would anyone notice + the difference? Even bad achievements of scientists, the bombs, and sonar- + guided whaling vessels *work*! The achievements of theologians don't do + anything, don't affect anything, don't mean anything. What makes anyone think + that "theology" is a subject at all?" + [Richard Dawkins, "The Emptiness of Theology", + Op-Ed article in Free Inquiry, Spring 1998] +% +"Faith is powerful enough to immunize people against all appeals to pity, + to forgiveness, to decent human feelings. It even immunizes them against + fear, if they honestly believe that a martyr's death will send them straight + to heaven. What a weapon! Religious faith deserves a chapter to itself in + the annals of war technology, on an even footing with the longbow, the + warhorse, the tank, and the hydrogen bomb." + [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"] +% +Telegraph: "For God to create the universe he would have to be hyper- + intelligent. But intelligence only evolves over time. Is that + about the strength of it?" + +Dawkins: "It's worse than that, the argument for God starts by assuming + what it is attempting to explain -- intelligence, complexity, it + comes to the same thing -- and so it explains nothing. God is a + non-explanation. Whereas evolution by natural selection /is/ an + explanation. It really does start simply and become complex." + + [Sunday Telegraph (UK) interview with Richard Dawkins, Sept. 26, 1999] +% +"Evolution should be one of the first things you learn + at school... and what do they [children] get instead? + Sacred hearts and incense. Shallow, empty religion." + [Sunday Telegraph (UK) interview with + Richard Dawkins, Sept. 26, 1999] +% +"Then there are those who really do believe, but take very good care to + separate their religion off in a separate part of their mind. They don't + let clashing thoughts ever literally clash. Either they do it by only + thinking about religion on Sunday, or they somehow manage to keep their + religious thoughts separate from their scientific ones. Those are the + ones I find least easy to understand. And then, of course, there are + those who just aren't very bright." + [Richard Dawkins, "A Trick of Light: + Richard Dawkins on Science and Religion"] +% +"The Virgin Birth, the Resurrection, the raising of Lazarus, even the Old + Testament miracles, all are freely used for religious propaganda, and they + are very effective with an audience of unsophisticates and children. Every + one of these miracles amounts to a violation of the normal running of the + natural world. Theologians should make a choice. You can claim your own + magisterium, separate from science's but still deserving of respect. But in + that case, you must renounce miracles. Or you can keep your Lourdes and your + miracles and enjoy their huge recruiting potential among the uneducated. But + then you must kiss goodbye to separate magisteria and your high-minded + aspiration to converge with science..." + [Richard Dawkins, "Snake Oil and Holy Water," + in Forbes magazine, Oct. 4, 1999] +% +"Convergence? Only when it suits. To an honest judge, the alleged marriage + between religion and science is a shallow, empty, spin-doctored sham." + [Richard Dawkins, "Snake Oil and Holy Water," + in Forbes magazine, Oct. 4, 1999] +% +"Testosterone-sodden young men too unattractive to get a woman in this + world might be desperate enough to go for 72 private virgins in the next." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"To fill a world with religion... is like littering the streets + with loaded guns. Do not be surprised if they are used." + [Richard Dawkins] +% +"I don't need religious bumfucks anymore, anymore..." + [Dayglo Abortions] +% +All religions make me wanna throw up +All religions make me sick +All religions make me wanna throw up +All religions suck + +The all claim that they have the truth +That'll set you free +Just give 'em all your money and they'll set you free +Free for a fee + +They all claim that they have "the Answer" +When they don't even know the Question +They're just a bunch of liars +They just want your money +They just want your consciousness + +All religions suck +All religions make me wanna throw up +All religions suck +All religions make me wanna BLEAH! + +They really make me sick +They really make me sick +They really make me ILL! + + ["Religious Vomit", Dead Kennedys (from "In God We + Trust, Inc.", Alternative Tentacles VIRUS 5), 1981] +% + + MORAL MAJORITY + +You call yourselves the Moral Majority +We call ourselves the people of the real world +Trying to rub us out, but we're going to survive +God must be dead, if you're alive + +You say, "God loves you. Come and buy the Good News" +Then you buy the president and swimming pools +If Jesus don't save 'till we're lining your pockets +God must be dead, if you're alive + +Circus-tent con men and Southern belle bunnies +Milk your emotions then they steal your money +It's the new dark ages with the fascists toting bibles +Cheap nostalgia for the Salem Witch Trials + +Stodgy ayatollahs in their double-knit ties +Burn lots of books so they can feed you their lies +Masturbating with a flag and a bible +God must be dead if you're alive + +Blow it out your ass, Jerry Falwell +Blow it out your ass, Jessie Helms +Blow it out your ass, Ronald Regan +What's wrong with a mind of my own? + +You don't want abortions you want battered children +You want to ban the pill as if that solves the problem +Now you wanna force us to pray in school +God must be dead if you're such a fool + +You're planning for a war with or without Iran +Building a police state with the Klu Klux Klan +Pissed at your neighbour? Don't bother to nag +Pick up the phone and turn in a fag + +Blow it out your ass, Terry Dolan +Blow it out your ass, Phyllis Schlafly +Ram it up your cunt, Anita +'Cause God must be dead +If you're alive +God must be dead +If you're alive + + ["Religious Vomit", Dead Kennedys/Jello Biafra (from "In + God We Trust, Inc.", Alternative Tentacles VIRUS 5), 1981] +% +"God told me to skin you alive" + [Dead Kennedys, "I Kill Children" from + "Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables"] +% +"You've got a Methodist Coloring Book + And you color really well + But don't color outside the lines + Or God will send you to hell" + [Dead Milkmen, "Methodist Coloring Book"] +% +"...this monkey mythology of Darwin is the cause of permissiveness, + promiscuity, prophylactics, perversions, pregnancies, abortions, + pornotherapy, pollution, poisoning and proliferation of crimes of all types." + [Judge Braswell Dean, in Time Magazine, March 1981] +% +"The virgin mother story was easily acceptable to the Roman people, because + they were already psychologically conditioned to the same established myth + of the vestal virgin Rhea Silva and her godly son Romulus." + [Dr. Wally F. Dean, "The Mania of Religion", 1995, p. 103] +% +"The use of the astrological zodiac in the Bible has been well established, + and without much question, the twelve zodiacal gods have come down to us as + the twelve apostles. The shepherd's crook used by the Egyptians' Osiris was + used for the bishops' and popes' crozier. They transformed his ankh, the + phallic sign of life, into the Christian cross, and they copied the high- + pointed headdress of Osiris as their prototype for Saint Peter's papal tiara. + There could only be four gospels written. The reason there are only four + biblical gospels was because Saint Jerome believed in the four cardinal gods + of the zodiac. But who was father of the four "cardinal" gods of the zodiac? + Yes, indeed! It was the divine Egyptian son Horus, whose birthday was on the + 25th of December long before there was a biblical Jesus." + [Dr. Wally F. Dean, "The Mania of Religion", 1995, p. 106] +% +"Bruno Bauer, a biblical student and professor at a Berlin University, openly + wrote in 1840 that Jesus was a creation of several Roman aristocrats. Ernest + Renan, a former Jesuit student, put forth the same view in his book The Life + of Jesus. Meanwhile, others who have studied and researched the Jesus story + emphatically disavow the historical reality of the biblical Jesus." + [Dr. Wally F. Dean, "The Mania of Religion", 1995, p. 119] +% +"The Bible is a mimicking conglomeration of ancient myths and legends, + and if I weren't positively sure of that, I wouldn't have written this book + and embarrassed myself again. My purpose is to try to spare the human + species from the tyranny and mania of religions. When people all around + the world finally become aware of what religion is--it will cure the most + devastating illness man has been forced to endure." + [Dr. Wally F. Dean, "The Mania of Religion", 1995, p. 307] +% +"...And whereas it has also come to the knowledge of the said Congregation + that the Pythagorean doctrine -- which is false and altogether opposed to + the Holy Scripture -- of the motion of the Earth and the immobility of the + Sun, which is also taught by Nicolaus Copernicus in De Revolutionibus + orbium coelestium, and by Diego de Zuiga on Job, is now being spread + abroad and accepted by many... Therefore, in order that this opinion may + not insinuate itself any further to the prejudice of Catholic truth, the + Holy Congregation has decreed that the said Nicolaus Copernicus, De + Revolutionibus orbium, and Diego de Zuiga, On Job, be suspended until they + are corrected. + [Decree of the Roman Catholic Congregation of the Index + condemning "De Revolutionibus", March 5, 1616] +% +"The Catholic Church... upheld feudalism, then monarchism, warning + of growing evils and possible revolutions. In the same manner, + and under the same reservations, she now upholds capitalism; but, + above all things and forever, she upholds the Catholic Church." + [Daniel DeLeon, The Vatican in Politics, 1891] +% +"The capitalist class is interested in keeping the workingmen + divided among themselves. Hence it foments race and religious + animosities that come down from the past." + [Daniel DeLeon, Two Pages from Roman History, 1903] +% +"Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion." + [Democritus] +% +"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes + to be true he generally believes to be true." + [Demosthenes, Third Olynthiac, sct. 19 (349 BCE)] +% +"There are all kinds of devices invented for the protection and preservation + of countries: defensive barriers, forts, trenches and the like. All these + are the work of human hands aided by money. But prudent minds have as a + natural gift one safegaurd which is the common possession of all, especially + to the dealings of democracies with dictatorships. What is this safeguard? + Skepticism. This you must preserve. This you must retain. If you can keep + this, you need fear no harm." + [Demosthenes, 2nd Phillipic Oration] +% +"If you want to *reason* about faith, and offer a reasoned (and reason- + responsive) defense of faith as an extra category of belief worthy of + special consideration, I'm eager to play. I certainly grant the existence + of the phenomenon of faith; what I want to see is a reasoned ground for + taking faith seriously as a *way of getting to the truth*, and not, say, + just as a way people comfort themselves and each other (a worthy function + that I do take seriously). But you must not expect me to go along with + your defence of faith as a path to truth if at any point you appeal to the + very dispensation you are supposedly trying to justify. Before you appeal + to faith when reason has you backed into a corner, think about whether you + really want to abandon reason when reason is on your side." + [Daniel C. Dennett "Darwin's Dangerous Idea"] +% +"I think that there are no forces on this planet more dangerous to us all + than the fanaticisms of fundamentalism, of all the species: Protestantism, + Catholicism, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism, as well as countless + smaller infections. Is there a conflict between science and religion here? + There most certainly is." + [Daniel C. Dennett, "Darwin's Dangerous Idea"] +% +"In the beginning, there were no reasons; there were only causes. + Nothing had a purpose, nothing has so much as a function; there + was no teleology in the world at all." + [Daniel C. Dennett, _Consciousness Explained_ (Boston: + Little, Brown and Company, 1991), p. 173] +% +"The haven all memes depend on reaching is the human mind, but a human mind + is itself an artifact created when memes restructure a human brain in order + to make it a better habitat for memes. The avenues for entry and departure + are modified to suit local conditions, and strengthened by various artificial + devices that enhance fidelity and prolixity of replication: native Chinese + minds differ dramatically from native French minds, and literate minds differ + from illiterate minds. What memes provide in return to the organisms in which + they reside is an incalculable store of advantages --- with some Trojan + horses thrown in for good measure..." + [Daniel Dennett, "Consciousness Explained"] +% +"... there could be talking bunny rabbits, spiders who write English messages + in their webs, and for that matter, melancholy choo-choo trains. There could + be, I suppose, but there aren't--so my theory doesn't have to explain them." + [Daniel Dennett] +% +"...but I also can't prove that mushrooms could + not be intergalactic spaceships spying on us." + [Daniel Dennett] +% +Girl of sixteen, whole life ahead of her +Slashed her wrists, bored with life +Didn't succeed, thank the Lord +For small mercies + +Fighting back the tears, mother reads the note again +candles burn in her mind +She takes the blame, it's always the same +She goes down on her knees and prays + +I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours +But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor +And when I die I expect to find Him laughing + +Girl of eighteen, fell in love with everything +Found new life in Jesus Christ +Hit by a car, ended up +On a life support machine + +Summer's day, as she passed away +Birds were singing in the summer sky +Then came the rain, and once again +A tear fell from her mother's eye + +I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours +But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor +And when I die I expect to find Him laughing + + [Depeche Mode, "Blasphemous Rumours" + from "Some Great Reward", Mute CDSTUMM19] +% +"The time has come for atheists, agnostics, skeptics, and humanists to + come out of the closet and to openly confront the religious hegemony in + America that has created a political correctness so powerful that even + the most courageous are afraid to violate it openly." + [Alan M. Dershowitz, F.I. Mag. Summer 1999] +% +"The seeker after truth must, once in the course of his life, doubt everything, + as far as is possible. What is doubtful should even be considered as false. + This doubt should not, meanwhile, be applied to ordinary life." + [Descartes, 1-3rd Principles of Human Knowledge] +% +"Perhaps the greatest lesson [Huxley] learned from reading Carlyle + was that real religion, that emotive feeling for Truth and Beauty, + could flourish in the absence of an idolatrous theology." + [Adrian Desmond, "Huxley", p.79] +% +"Untouched people; not necessarily noble savages, but apparently happy + ones. They lived in a land of plenty, ready to share their bananas + and guavas and coconuts. They were to be envied for their 'primitive + simplicity and kind-heartedness'. Where was that 'malady of thought' + afflicting industrial England? [Huxley] realized that 'civilization + as we call it would be rather a curse than a blessing to them'. Huxley + knew the fate in store for them, slamming the 'mistaken goodness of + the "Stigginses" of Exeter Hall, who would send missionaries to these + men to tell them that they will all infallibly be damned'." + [Adrian Desmond, "Huxley", p. 120, on Huxley + encountering natives on a remote island] +% +"Science was tearing through the 'fine-spun ecclesiastical cobwebs' + to behold a new cosmos, in which our Earth is merely an 'eccentric + speck'-- a world of evolution 'and unchanging causation'. It invited + new ways of thinking. It demanded a new rationale for belief. With + science's truths the only accessible ones, 'blind faith' was no + longer admirable but 'the one unpardonable sin'." + [Adrian Desmond, "Huxley", p. 345] +% +"A man got up [after one of Huxley's 'sermons'] and said 'they + had never heard anything like that in Norwich before'. Never + 'did Science seem so vast and mere creeds so little'." + [Adrian Desmond, "Huxley", p. 366] +% +When Yahweh your god has settled you in the land you're about + to occupy, and driven out many infidels before you...you're to + cut them down and exterminate them. You're to make no compromise + with them or show them any mercy. + [Deut. 7:1 (KJV)] +% +"Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that + every subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be + submitted to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered + samples of learning must go to the same assay-room and be subjected to + common tests. It is the essence of all dogmatic faiths to hold that + any such "show-down" is sacrilegious and perverse. The characteristic + of religion, from their point of view, is that it is intellectually + secret, not public; peculiarly revealed, not generally known; + authoritatively declared, not communicated and tested in ordinary + ways...It is pertinent to point out that, as long as religion is + conceived as it is now by the great majority of professed religionists, + there is something self-contradictory in speaking of education in + religion in the same sense in which we speak of education in topics + where the method of free inquiry has made its way. The "religious" + would be the last to be willing that either the history or the + content of religion should be taught in this spirit; while those + to whom the scientific standpoint is not merely a technical device, + but is the embodiment of the integrity of mind, must protest against + its being taught in any other spirit. + [John Dewey, "Democracy in the Schools", 1908] +% +"It (modern philosophy) certainly exacts a surrender of all + supernaturalism and fixed dogma and rigid institutionalism with + which Christianity has been historically associated." + [John Dewey] +% +"Intellectually, religious emotions are not creative + but conservative. They attach themselves readily to + the current view of the world and consecrate it." + [John Dewey] +% +"Styles of sculpture, music, and dance used to vary greatly from village to + village within New Guinea. Some villagers along the Sepik River and in the + Asmat swamps produced carvings that are now world-famous because of their + quality. But New Guinea villagers have been increasing coerced or seduced + into abandoning their artistic traditions. When I visited an isolated + triblet of 578 people at Bomai in 1965, the missionary controlling the only + store had just manipulated the people into burning all their art. + Centuries of unique cultural development ("heathen artifacts," as the + missionary put it) had thus been destroyed in one morning." + [Jared Diamond, _The Third Chimpanzee: The Evolution and Future + of the Human Animal_, 1992, Harper Collins, New York, page 231] +% +"...the official religions and patriotic fervor of many states make their + troops willing to fight suicidally. The latter willingness is one so strongly + programmed into us citizens of modern states, by our schools and churches and + governments, that we forget what a radical break it makes with previous human + history. .... Naturally, what makes patriotic and religious fanatics such + dangerous opponents is not the deaths of the fanatics themselves, but their + willingness to accept the deaths of a fraction of their number in order to + annihilate or crush their infidel enemy. Fanaticism in war, of the type that + drove recorded Christian and Islamic conquests, was probably unknown on Earth + until chiefdoms and especially states emerged within the last 6,000 years." + [Jared Diamond, "Guns, Germs and Steel: The + Fate of Human Societies", pp 281-282] +% +"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away". + [Philip K. Dick] +% +"Missionaries are perfect nuisances and + leave every place worse than they found it." + [Charles Dickens] +% +"I believe the spreading of Catholicism to be the most horrible + means of political and social degredation left in the world." + [Charles Dickens] +% +"To prove the Gospels by a miracle is to prove an + absurdity by something contrary to nature." + [Diderot] +% +"I have only a small flickering light to guide me in the darkness + of a thick forest. Up comes a theologian and blows it out." + [Denis Diderot] +% +"It is very important not to mistake hemlock for parsley, + but to believe or not believe in God is not important at all." + [Denis Diderot] +% +"What has not been examined impartially has not been well + examined. Skepticism is therefore the first step toward truth." + [Denis Diderot, "Pensees philosophiques"] +% +"The Judaical and Christian theology show us a partial god who chooses or + rejects, who loves or hates, according to his caprice; in short, a tyrant + who plays with his creatures; who punishes in this world the whole human + species for the crimes of a single man; who predestines the greater number + of mortals to be his enemies, to the end that he may punish them to all + eternity, for having received from him the liberty of declaring against him." + [Denis Diderot, Footnote to d'Holbach's "The System of Nature"] +% +"When God, from whom I have my reason, demands of me to sacrifice it, he + becomes a mere juggler that snatches from me what he pretended to give." + [Denis Diderot, "A Philosophical Conversation," 1777] +% +"The true religion, interesting the whole human race at all times and + in all situations, ought to be eternal, universal, and self-evident; + whereas the religions pretended to be revealed having none of these + characteristics, are consequently demonstrated to be false." + [Attributed to Diderot, possibly written by translater + Julian Hibbert in "Thoughts On Religion", 1770] +% +"The myths about Hades and the gods, though they + are pure invention, help to make men virtuous." + [Diodorus Siculus, about 20 B.C.] +% +"When I look upon seamen, men of physical science, and philosophers, + man is the wisest of all beings. When I look upon priests, prophets, + and interpreters of dreams, nothing is so contemptible as man." + [Diogenes (412-323 B.C.E.)] +% +"Where knowledge ends, religion begins." + [Benjamin Disraeli] +% +"The inability or unwillingness to hate makes a person worthless. + If we do not hate detestable things, the quality of our character + is suspect. The Bible commands that we hate." + [H. A. (Buster) Dobbs, Editor of Firm Foundation magazine + and Church of Christ preacher, from the June 1994 issue.] +% +"Let me try to make crystal clear what is established beyond reasonable + doubt, and what needs further study, about evolution. Evolution as a + process that has always gone on in the history of the earth can be doubted + only by those who are ignorant of the evidence or are resistant to evidence, + owing to emotional blocks or to plain bigotry. By contrast, the mechanisms + that bring evolution about certainly need study and clarification. There + are no alternatives to evolution as history that can withstand critical + examination. Yet we are constantly learning new and important facts about + evolutionary mechanisms." + [Theodosius Dobzhansky "Nothing in Biology Makes Sense Except in the + Light of Evolution", American Biology Teacher vol.35 (March 1973) + reprinted in EVOLUTION VERSUS CREATIONISM, J. Peter Zetterberg ed., + ORYX Press, Phoenix AZ 1983] +% +"If you truly turned yourself over to competent psychological help, + they can lead you from your misguided attempts to butt into other + people's lives using Jesus as your excuse for such rude behavior." + [James Doemer] +% +"When the preacher asks us to have faith, he asks for obedience, obedience + without question. We must accept unthinkingly whatever he tells us is so. + When Shia and Sunni are asked to murder on the fields of battle, both + following leaders who tell them they are then assured a place in Heaven, + they obey. If the dead could return to set things straight, to tell us + that "faith" is nothing more than nonsense institutionalized, the hate + and murder of all "religious" conflicts would cease. There would be no + crusades, inquisitions, witch hunts, and holy wars. There would be no Shia + and Sunni, no Lutherans and Catholics, no religious sects of any kind, + because there would be no "religions." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"The impression is given that a special kind of morality is affirmed by + accepting the vagaries of religion without evidence. But is it moral to + accept uncritically every superstition, delusion, or prejudice our pulpiteers + espouse? Is not the faith that we are told is holy, the trust in Divinity + that we are told is our duty, the certitude that a complete rejection of + reason is moral behavior - all of this - nothing more than abject credulity, + a complete surrender of our unique, personal sovereign identity? When "false" + or "true" become irrelevant and a blanket assent regardless of the nature of + that which we are asked to believe is considered sane behavior, do we not + resign ourselves to slavery? When acceptance is on the basis of infallible + authority and not on the basis of personal, reasoned conviction, have we + not relinquished something very precious - our natural, temperamental + individuality? Is not the mind of one who accepts blindly, precisely the + mind of a production-line robot, the mind of one who goes through life + oblivious of meaning and values, bereft of the hope of injecting sense into + the profusion of nonsense that threatens to engulf us? Is this the faith we + are told is good?" + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"It has been said that faith dies the death of a thousand qualifications. + Faith inevitably meets the same fate when it is continually attenuated + with rambling, nondescript, and pretentious definitions. The liberating + truth, of course, is that the readiness with which the term faith evokes + sobering qualifications and erratic definitions betrays the superficial + manner in which it is used by religionists." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"Faith will survive all superstitions, compelling men to think in terms of + their own destiny and the responsibility they themselves have in forging + that destiny. No one explains how declarations that are manufactured out of + whole cloth, that have absolutely no predictive content and therefore no + demonstrable connection with our lives as we live them day by day, are + supposed to serve as a guide for planning our future. What such declarations + do is to condition every nervous system that takes them seriously that it is + perfectly sane to ignore the world in which we live, and to live instead in + a world of pure fantasy. The man who is willing to accept the doctrine of + Christian faith is one who is willing to relinquish all hope of knowing the + truth. He accepts all, doubts never, vegetates. He is a slave, a hollow shell + into which others can pour all manner of stupidities. Having a conscience, + being honest, are empty phrases for him, as he has relinquished his own right + to think and is acting only because others are acting through him. He refuses + to be honest with himself, no longer talks things over with himself, no longer + meditates, contemplates; he only absorbs like a sponge, without discrimination. + If he has convictions, they are metamorphized and petrified lies, and not even + his own lies but those of colleagues, priests, and politicians who want to use + him. If to accept blindly, without the play of reason, is faith, it follows + then that what the world needs is not more faith, but more people who think + with their own heads and not with the heads of others." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"Faith in the sense that religionists use the term, it turns out, is + equivalent to the loss of confidence of the individuals of the human + species to achieve their goals on their own. This seems to be borne + out by the adherence to religion among the poor, the spread of religion + in times of depression and conflict, and the greater success of all + religions to proselytize among deprived populations wherever they may be. + It may also explain the lack of initiative clearly evident among the + fanatically religious who see little point in struggling for a better + world when they are only nonentities in a vast system of omnipotent + forces and obscure agencies beyond their abilities to understand or + control. Men who are liberated from all such folderol are able to work + with serenity and unshakable confidence in their own abilities to achieve." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"Faith, as the theologians and other mystics use the term, is the capacity to + accept as "true" declarations that have no predictive content. It is their + way of asking us to believe something for no other reason than because they + say it is so. In quoting the Council of Trent, "He who is gifted with + heavenly knowledge of faith is free from an inquisitive curiosity." Walter + Lippmann in 'A Preface to Morals' adds: "These words are rasping to our + modern ears, but there is no occasion to doubt that the men who uttered them + had made a shrewd appraisal of average human nature." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"Reason and faith are completely irreconcilable pathways to knowledge. The two + cannot exist side by side. Reason underlies the methodology of the scientist. + Without it he would be ineffectual. Faith is the "being" of the "religionist." + Without it he could not exist. The scientist accepts nothing on faith. Faith + to him is a synonym for belief. In Hebrews 11:1 we read: "Faith is the + substance of things desired, the evidence of things unseen." The "religionist" + is ever alert to prevent reason from undermining his precepts. Reason is his + (and God's) worst enemy. Reason is our means of processing what we learn of + the world through our proverbial five senses. Faith does no processing; + whatever sense (or nonsense) is accepted as is, without rational consideration. + Those facts which reason allows us to accept must display consistency and + predictability. There are no criteria to restrict that which we will accept + on faith, as section 61 of this book shows. Those content to accept on faith + are those who accept without thinking, without the rational demonstrations + that establish the truth (predictive content) of what we believe. Faith is + the road to myth and error, the way to add to man's already overflowing + storehouse of "things he _knows_ but that are not so." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"Transactional psychologists have verified what most of us have known + intuitively all along: that the stronger are a person's motives for certain + interpretations of the data confronting him, the more likely are the chances + that those will be the interpretations he will come up with, even though they + be radically wrong. Said Andre Gide in 'Pretexts,' "Most often people seek in + life occasions for persisting in their opinions rather than for educating + themselves.... It seems as if the mind enjoys nothing more than sinking + deeper into error." The person with the self-sealing system that Oppenheimer + describes (section 18) cannot be convinced at all. He has become uncannily + proficient at transmuting all experiential verification to conform to that + which he wants to believe. He now has adequate defenses against countervailing + evidence to discount almost anything that would prove detrimental to his + cherished beliefs, to revamp information that threatens long-established + convictions. Religious faith (which is just such a closed system), if strong + enough, will protect a person from the arguments appearing in a book such as + this, just as the faith of people who want to believe that their destinies + lie in the stars is enough to protect them from the declarations of 186 noted + scientists who feel it important to convince them that they are wrong. + Bertrand Russell was talking about this kind of "religious" faith when, in + 'Human Society in Ethics and Politics', he tells us that he believes that all + faiths do harm. He defines faith as the belief in anything for which no + evidence exists. If there is evidence, faith is not required. We do not need + faith to believe that vinegar is bitter or that water is wet. We use the term + faith only when emotion dominates reason. Faith, for Mencken, was a kind of + clearing house for all the various conspiracies religionists contrive in order + to deny or distort the facts that our senses present to us to make up what we + call our existence. Faith, he was sure, is the force that foments the + concerted attacks against what can be called a rational moral philosophy." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"But there is a kind of faith, as we all well know, that is an essential + ingredient in the lives of all human beings. This faith is of a different + sort, not faith in (or in the existence of) a pathologically jealous supreme + being who would have us all wasting our valuable time in endless, meaningless + rituals "glorifying his name." Nor is it faith in a mythological hell in + which we will all fry for eternity who do not genuflect to this demeaning + concept of the utter dependence of the human species. Alan Watts says in + 'The Book,' "Irrevocable commitment to any religion is not only intellectual + suicide; it is positive unfaith because it closes the mind to any new vision + of the world. Faith is, above all, openness - an act of trust in the unknown." + What we need is faith in the boundless reach of an open mind. Having an open + mind does not mean that we do not have firm convictions, but that we are not + afraid of new ideas. Persons with firm convictions, well founded, need new + ideas from time to time, against which they can constantly test their + convictions in a changing world, perhaps to alter them or perhaps to make + their convictions even more firm. If we are confident of the truth and + validity of our convictions, whatever they may be, we have nothing to fear. + We shall not serve our convictions, whatever they may be, by self-deception. + Convictions that can be defended only by disregarding facts, lying to + oneself and others, are not worth keeping." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"Man needs faith in his own potential, faith in his ability, within limits, to + plan his own life. He must have faith that nature is subject to laws, that the + earth will continue to turn on its axis, and the sun will continue for a few + billion more years to warm the earth, and that there will be rain to make the + plants grow and thus to maintain life on this planet. The very world itself is + a matter of faith. It is an act of faith to believe that there exists a world + beyond our own skins. Our faith is not to deny the unknown, to avoid it, or to + pretend that the unknown is really known. Our faith is above all resolute + belief in ourselves as sovereign individuals. We must understand that beyond + ourselves there is no baleful influence bent on frustrating our hopes and + plans - even those plagued constantly with difficulties. Nature, we must + understand, is not deliberately malign nor deliberately benign; it is simply + indifferent. With Amado Nervo (who gets the last word in this essay), we must + see ourselves as the architect of our own destinies." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"The Reverend Robert H. Schuller, second to none in the multiformity of his + televised effusions, gives us more than three hundred definitions of the word + faith. He could go on forever. In his 'Tough-Minded Faith for Tender-Hearted + People' [muddleminded faith for simpleminded people] Schuller makes it plain + that "faith" can be dictum, psychological judgment, scientific proposition, + or mystic symbolism. It can be whatever puritanical perception, frivolous + fancy, arbitrary assumption, or capricious conviction. It can be both horse + and vehicle, north and south, sinister and dexter, verso and recto, larboard + and starboard. There are no restrictions. Faith has so many meanings to + Schuller that it is meaningless. Meaning everything, it means nothing - as is + usually the case when religionists use the term faith." + [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy + Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications] +% +"I am a theist," means, "I know that God exists." "I am an atheist" + means, "I do not know that God exists." Appending the Greek prefix "a" + could in no way be construed as meaning, I know that God does not exist." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"In the course of its learning and assimilating the culture in which it will + grow up, the child's nervous system gets programmed in a particular way with + respect to the mysterious relation of symbols and things which will create + its later life. When this programming reaches a certain point, the behavior + of the child becomes patterned in ways that are difficult ever to change. + Other ways of behaving not parallel to these patterns are rejected, sometimes + subtly, subconsciously, at other times deliberately, violently. The child's + total reaction, physiological as well as linguistic, to the world in which + he grows up may be independently flexible or it may be as submissively rigid + as it usually is for those molded in an orthodox, totalitarian religion." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"Rigidly conforming children have a way of growing up to be rigidly conforming + adults. They are not educated; they are formed. They are not trained to think, + but to defend. They are not asked to reflect, but to memorize." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"The attraction of "religion" for many of its adherents is that its + comforts help enable them to face the suffering, injustice, morality and + meaninglessness of human life on this earth. But it is these comforts that + often dissuade men from doing something about the ills humanity experiences. + Too many of us become so encapsulated in our own comfortable world that we + become blind to the adversities that beset our fellow man. We live in our + own luxury, insulated from ugliness and doubt." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"When those living in the United States speak of the incompatibility of + science and religion, it is almost invariably the Christian religion that + has claimed their attention. No other religion in history has marshaled + its forces so energetically to oppose and suppress astronomy, physics and + the biological sciences. For many sects of Christianity, psychology and + anthropology have been added as religion's principal adversaries." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"If there is a Hell with fire and brimstone, one must conclude that + it was constructed solely for the special delectation of God, that + he enjoys watching human beings (or is it their souls?) fry." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"Not a lack of belief, but adherence to false knowledge is the + enemy of progress. And certain that we have found everything + worth searching for, we see no point in further search and inquiry. + Believing what is unworthy of belief, believing falsehood as if it + were incontrovertible truth, and sure that we know everything we + will ever need to know, we are worse than ignorant." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"To create a world in which reason is suspect, religious faith is + a virtue, and doubt is regarded as sin, is to sanctify ignorance." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"Religions which expect men to march in synchronized step and + to chant stereotyped doctrines cease to serve free man in an + open society. There can be no such thing as an open society + peopled by a preponderance of closed minds." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"The presence or absence of a God or the religions that postulate gods does + not change what should and what should not be considered morality. Human + kindness will always be a good thing, God or no God. Attributing morality + to the propensities of some kind of Deity is nothing more than quibbling. + Here we have an "it is so because it is so," kind of pseudoreasoning." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"Until religionists can give up their use of the word "truth" to apply to + whatever it suits their fancies to so label, to declarations that can in + no way be verified by experience and therefore with no restrictions on + their proliferation, there will be no reconciliation of science and religion." + [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"] +% +"Are we courting you? Maybe we are, but what's wrong with + that? You are the glue that holds America together." + [Bob Dole, to a rally of the Christian Coalition] +% +"For many years I have exhorted you in vain, with gentleness, preaching, + praying and weeping. But according to the proverb of my country, + 'where blessing can accomplish nothing, blows may avail.' We shall + rouse against you princes and prelates who, alas, will arm nations and + kingdoms against this land...and thus blows will avail where blessings + and gentleness have been powerless." + [St. Dominic, to the heretical Albiginses, Encyclopedia Brittanica] +% +"I'm firmly convinced Michael Carneal is a Christian. + He's a sinner, yes, but not an atheist." + [Rev. Paul Donner, of the St. Paul Lutheran Church, + Paducah, Ky., describing accused mass murderer + Michael Carneal, 14, in contrast to early reports] +% +"In all of the colonies there was a law that Quakers and other heretics + should be banished and, if they returned, could be executed; but only + Massachusetts hung any Quakers - four of them, one a woman. They cut off + the ears of others, branded some with hot irons, and beat them with + iron rods and tarred ropes. The worst the Pilgrims ever did was put them + in the stocks or imprison them for a while." + ["The Mayflower Compact" by Frank R. Donovan, + Gosset & Dunlap, New York, 1968] +% +"Where would Christianity be if Jesus got eight to + fifteen years with time off for good behavior?" + [NY State Senator James Donovan, speaking + in support of capital punishment] +% +"You've got to put in your pew time and come by + your disdain for religion honestly, like us." + [Doonsbury cartoon] +% +"The race of men, while sheep in credulity, are wolves for conformity." + [Carl Van Doren, "Why I Am an Unbeliever"] +% +"Religion is a disease. It is born of fear; it compensates through + hate in the guise of authority, revelation. Religion, enthroned + in a powerful social organization, can become incredibly sadistic. + No religion has been more cruel than the Christian." + [Dr. George A. Dorsey] +% +"Religion is not insanity but it is born of the stuff which makes + for insanity. ...all religions perform the function of delusion." + [George Dorsey] +% +"I can find no room in my cosmos for a deity save as a waste + product of human weakness, the excrement of the imagination." + [George Norman Douglas, "South Wind" (1917)] +% +"The First Amendment commands government to have no interest in theology or + ritual; it admonishes the government to be interested in allowing religious + freedom to flourish -- whether the result is to produce Catholics, Jews, or + Protestants, or to turn the people toward the path of Buddha, or to end in + a predominantly Moslem nation, or to produce in the long run atheists or + agnostics. On matters of this kind, government must remain neutral. This + freedom plainly includes freedom from religion with the right to believe, + speak, write, publish and advocate antireligious programs." + [Justice William O. Douglas, dissent in McGowan v. Maryland] +% +"It is our attitude toward free thought and free expression that will + determine our fate. There must be no limit on the range of temperate + discussion, no limits on thought. No subject must be taboo. No censor + must preside at our assemblies." + [William O. Douglas, Address, Authors' Guild, Dec. 3, 1952] +% +"I prayed for twenty years but received + no answer until I prayed with my legs." + [Frederick Douglass, escaped slave] +% +"I assert most unhesitatingly, that the religion of the South is a mere + covering for the most horrid crimes-- a justifier of the most appalling + barbarity, a sanctifier of the most hateful frauds, and a dark shelter + under which the darkest, foulest, grossest, and most infernal deeds of + slaveholders find the strongest protection. Where I to be again reduced + to the chains of slavery, next to that enslavement, I should regard being + the slave of a religious master the greatest calamity that could befall + me...I...hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, + partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land." + [Frederick Douglass, "After the Escape"] +% +"Once, in a heated controversy over the wisdom of giving the + Bible to slaves, he asserted that it would be 'infinitely + better to send them a pocket compass and a pistol.'" + [Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass] +% +"I bet you don't want anything about the Bible taught in school." +"If they teach Greek and Roman mythology, they should also teach + Middle Eastern mythology." + [Morton Downey, controversial TV talk-show host, to + Rob Sherman, spokesman for American Atheists, on the show] +% +"How many times has the end of the world been predicted? The + same number of times, the prediction has proved false." + [Hugh Downs, "The End Is (Not) Nigh; Apocalypse + Later", ABC News, (abcnews.com), August 26, 1998] +% +"Evolution does not require the nonexistance of God, it merely allows + for it. That alone is enough to evoke condemnation from those who + fear the nonexistance of God more than they fear God Himself." + [Keith Doyle, talk.origins posting] +% +"So, the Xian fundies want to slap the 10 commandments on the + wall. I guess our school kids have a real problem with + committing adultery and carving idols during school hours." + ["Dr. Monkeyspank" <drmonkeyspank@my-deja.com>] +% +"Geology shows that fossils are of different ages. Paleontology shows a + fossil sequence, the list of species represented changes through time. + Taxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution is the + explanation that threads it all together. Creationism is the practice + of squeeezing one's eyes shut and wailing "does not!". + [Dr.Pepper@f241.n103.z1.fidonet.org] +% +"If thinking freely for yourself is a sure ticket to hell, + then the conversations in heaven must be awfully boring." + [San Francisco's infamous Dr. Weirde] +% +"Do not put your trust in such trinkets of deceit!" + [Dracula, on the crucifix] +% +"How can the Church be received as a trustworthy guide in the + invisible, which falls into so many errors in the visible?" + [John W. Draper (1811-1882), U.S. chemist] +% +"Science has never sought to ally herself with civil power. + She has never subjected anyone to mental torment, physical torment, + least of all death, for the purpose of promoting her ideas." + [John W. Draper (1811-1882) U.S. chemist] +% +"The Christian party asserted that all knowledge is to be found in the + Scriptures and in the traditions of the Church; that, in the written + revelation, God had not only given a criterion of truth, but had furnished + us all that he intended us to know. The Scriptures, therefore, contain the + sum, the end of all knowledge. The clergy, with the emperor at their back, + would endure no intellectual competition......The Church thus set herself + forth as the depository and arbiter of knowledge; she was ever ready to resort + to the civil power to compel obedience to her decisions. She thus took a + course which determined her whole future career: she became a stumbling-block + in the intellectual advancement of Europe for more than a thousand years." + [John William Draper, "History of the Conflict + between Science and Religion", Chapter II] +% +"Life is no more assuring than love + (It's time to take the time) + There are no answers from voices above + (It's time to take the time) + You're fighting the weight of the world + And no one can save you this time + Close your eyes + You can find all that you need in your mind" + ["Take the Time", Dream Theater] +% +"If I were personally to define religion, I would say that it is a + bandage that man has invented to protect a soul made bloody by + circumstances. All forms of dogmatic religion should go. The world + did without them in the past and can do so again. I cite the great + civilizations of China and India." + [Theodore Dreiser, press interview, March 1941] +% +"He who will not reason, is a bigot; + He who cannot, is a fool; + And he who dares not, is a slave." + [William Drummond] +% +"There was no deathbed conversion," Druyan says. "No appeals to God, + no hope for an afterlife, no pretending that he and I, who had been + inseparably for twenty years, were not saying goodbye forever." + +"Didn't he want to believe?" she was asked. + + "Carl never wanted to believe," she replies fiercely. "He wanted to KNOW." + [Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan's wife, from Newsweek magazine] +% +"I sit surrounded by cartons of mail from people all over the planet who + mourn Carl's loss. Many of them credit him with their awakenings. Some + of them say that Carl's example has inspired them to work for science + and reason against the forces of superstition and fundamentalism. These + thoughts comfort me and lift me up out of my heartache. They allow me + to feel, without resorting to the supernatural, that Carl lives." + ["Billions and Billions: Thoughts On Life and Death at + the Brink of the Millennium", the last book by Carl Sagan; + Epilogue by his wife, Ann Druyan, February 14, 1997] +% +"Contrary to the fantasies of the fundamentalists, there was no deathbed + conversion, no last minute refuge taken in a comforting vision of a heaven + or an afterlife. For Carl, what mattered most was what was true, not merely + what would make us feel better. Even at this moment when anyone would be + forgiven for turning away from the reality of our situation, Carl was + unflinching. As we looked deeply into each other's eyes, it was with a + shared conviction that our wondrous life together was ending forever." + ["Billions and Billions: Thoughts On Life and Death + at the Brink of the Millennium", the last book by + Carl Sagan; Epilogue by his wife, Ann Druyan] +% +"Every reasonable person knows that there are good people who believe in gods + and good people who don't believe in gods. Like most Atheists, I do not rape, + murder, or steal, I know right from wrong and don't need to follow a set of + superstitious beliefs to live a moral life. The idea that only a religious + person can be a good person is utterly ridiculous. In fact, perhaps it is + the Atheists who are the truly good people; we try to do what is right not + for the selfish reason of fear of some afterlife punishment but because we + know it is the right thing to do." + [Peter Dubral, Highland Park, NJ, from The Greater + Philadelphia Story, Newsletter of The Freethought + Society of Greater Philadelphia] +% +"I have too much respect for the idea of God to + make it responsible for such an absurd world." + [Georges Duhamel] +% +"All absolute power demoralizes its possessor. To that all history bears + witness. And if it be a spiritual power which rules men's consciences, + the danger is only so much greater, for the possession of such a power + exercises a specially treacherous fascination, while it is peculiarly + conducive to self-deceit, because the lust of dominion, when it has + become a passion, is only too easily in this case excused under the + plea of zeal for the salvation of others." + [Professor J. H. von Dullinger -- who was subsequently + excommunicated from the Roman Catholic church (1871)] +% +"If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which + he has inflicted upon men, He would kill himself." + [Alexander Dumas] +% +"Skeptics Everywhere. + Have you noticed that no matter how sick the Pope gets, they never even + consider taking him to Lourdes? + The Ten Commandments make Prohibition look like a stroke of genius." + [Tom Dunker, in Horseshit #1, a 1965 hippie-type magazine] +% +"Just as Philo, learned in Greek speculation, had felt a need to rephrase + Judaism in forms acceptable to the logic-loving Greeks, so John, having + lived for two generations in a Hellenistic environment, sought to give a + Greek philosophical tinge to the mystic Jewish doctrine that the Wisdom + of God was a living being, and to the Christian doctrine that Jesus was + the Messiah. Consciously or not, he continued Paul's work of detaching + Christianity from Judaism. Christ was no longer presented as a Jew, living + more or less under the Jewish Law; he was make to address the Jews as + "you," and to speak of their Law as "yours"; he was not a Messiah sent + "to save the lost sheep of Israel," he was the coeternal Son of God; not + merely the future judge of mankind, but the primeval creator of the + universe. In this perspective the Jewish life of the man Jesus could + be put into the background, faded almost as in Gnostic heresy; and the + god Christ was assimilated to the religious and philosophical traditions + of the Hellenistic mind. Now the pagan world-- even the anti-Semitic + world--could accept him as its own." + [Will and Ariel Durant, _The Story of Civilization_] +% +"Christianity did not destroy paganism; it adopted it. The Greek mind + dying, came to a tranmigrated life in the theology and liturgy of the + Church; the Greek language, having reigned for centuries over philosophy, + became the vehicle of Christian literature and ritual; the Greek mysteries + passed down into the impressive mystery of the Mass. Other pagan cultures + contributed to the syncretist result. From Egypt came the ideas of a divine + trinity, the Last Judgement, and a personal immortality of reward and + punishment; from Egypt the adoration of the Mother and Child, and the mystic + theosophy that made Neoplatonism and Gnosticism, and obscured the Christian + creed; there, too, Christian moanasticism would find itsw exemplars and its + source. From Phrygia came the worship of the Great Mother; from Syria the + resurrection drama of Adonis; from Thrace, perhaps the cult of Dionysus, the + dying and saving god. From Persia came millennarianism, the "ages of the + world," the "final conflagration," the dualism of Satan and God, of Darkness + and Light; already in the Forth Gospel Christ is the "Light shining in the + darkness, and the darkness has never put it out." The Mithraic ritual so + closely resemled the eucharistic sacrifice of the Mass that Christian fathers + charged the Devil with inventing these similarities to mislead frail minds. + Christianity was the last great creation of the ancient pagan world." + [Will and Ariel Durant, _The Story of Civilization_] +% +"With the judgment of the angels and the sentence of the saints, we + anathematize, execrate, curse and cast out Baruch de Spinoza, the whole + of the sacred community assenting, in presence of the sacred books with + the six hundred and thirteen precepts written therein, pronouncing + against him the malediction wherewith Elisha cursed the children, and + all the maledictions written in the Book of the Law. /.../ Let him be + accursed by day, and accursed by night; let him be accursed in his lying + down, and accursed in his rising up; accursed in going out and accursed + in coming in. May the Lord never more pardon or acknowledge him; may the + wrath and displeasure of the Lord burn henceforth against this man, load + him with all the curses written in the Book of the Law, and blot out his + name from under the sky." + [Jewish community of Amsterdam, excommunication of Spinoza, + 27 July 1656, quoted by Will Durant in _The Story of Philosophy_; + also George Seldes, _The Great Quotations_, 1983] +% +"The truth is that people will always demand a religion phrased in + imagery and haloed with the supernatural. They don't want science; + they are in mortal terror of it, for the one sermon of science is + that all life eats other life and that all life must die. The + masses will never accept science until it gives them an earthly + paradise. As long as there is poverty, there will be gods." + [Will Durant, "The Mansions of Philosophy", 1929] +% +"Got no religion. Tried a bunch of different religions. The churches + are divided. Can't make up their minds and neither can I." + [Bob Dylan] +% +"We've satisfied our endless needs, + And justified our bloody deeds, + In the name of Destiny, + And in the Name of god" + [Eagles,"The Last Resort"] +% +"God says do what you wish, but make the wrong choice and you will be + tortured for eternity in hell. That sir, is not free will. It would be akin + to a man telling his girlfriend, do what you wish, but if you choose to leave + me, I will track you down and blow your brains out. When a man says this we + call him a psychopath and cry out for his imprisonment/execution. When god + says the same we call him "loving" and build churches in his honor." + [William C. Easttom II, skeptic@icon.net] +% +"So behold here the triumph God's wisdom has won. + Behold here the damage that can't be undone. + Stagnation is good, and we're good to the core, + while faith rots us like salt rots the land + + If your god helps the helpless, may he help you all well. + I'm bound for the outside to find my own hell. + If defiance means death, I would die before stand + like a sheep to be thrown to God's hand." + [Julia Ecklar, "The Hand of God" + from the album _Divine Intervention_] +% +"Fear prophets ... and those prepared to die for the + truth, for as a rule they make many others die with + them, often before them, at times instead of them." + [Umberto Eco] +% +"Whenever a poet or preacher, chief or wizard spouts gibberish, + the human race spends centuries deciphering the message." + [Umberto Eco] +% +"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a + harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt + to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth." + [Umberto Eco] +% +"I believe that you can reach the point where there is no longer + any difference between developing the habit of pretending to + believe and developing the habit of believing." + [Umberto Eco] +% +"When we traded the results of our fantasies, it seemed to us--and + rightly-- that we had proceeded by unwarranted associations, by + shortcuts so extraordinary that, if anyone had accused us of + really believing them, we would have been ashamed." + [Umberto Eco] +% +"All of us were slowly losing that intellectual light that allows you always + to tell the similar from the identical, the metaphorical from the real." + [Umberto Eco] +% +"I'm not saying that all religion is a pack of lies... + I'm just saying that all religion is indistinguishable from a pack of lies." + [Ralph Edington, ralph@edington.com] +% +"Christian Science repudiates the evidences of the senses and rests upon the + supremacy of God. Christian healing . . . places no faith in hygiene or + drugs; it reposes all faith in mind, in spiritual power divinely directed." + [Mary Baker Eddy, on Christian Science "healing"] +% +"My mind is incapable of conceiving such a thing as a soul. I may be + in error, and man may have a soul; but I simply do not believe it." + [Thomas Edison, "Do We Live Again?"] +% +"All Bibles are man-made." + [Thomas Edison] +% +"So far as religion of the day is concerned, it + is a damned fake... Religion is all bunk." + [Thomas Edison] +% +"I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories + of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God." + [Thomas Alva Edison, "Columbian Magazine"] +% +"I do not believe that any type of religion should ever be + introduced into the public schools of the United States." + [Thomas Edison, "Do We Live Again?"] +% +"Because the primary purpose of the Creationism Act is to endorse a particular + religious belief, the Act furthers religion in violation of the Establishment + Clause. ...The pre-eminent purpose of the Louisiana Legislature was clearly to + advance the religious viewpoint that a supernatural being created humankind. + ...The Act violates the Establishment Clause because it seeks to employ the + symbolic and financial support of government to achieve a religious purpose." + [US Supreme Court, Edwards v. Aguillard, 1987] +% +"The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or + some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked, + his wrath towards you burns like fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to + have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his + eyes than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours. You have offended + him infinitely more than ever a stubborn rebel did his prince; and yet it is + nothing but his hand that holds you from falling into the fire every moment. + It is to be ascribed to nothing else, that you did not go to hell the last + night, that you was [sic] suffered to awake again in this world, after you + closed your eyes to sleep." + ["Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God," preached July 8, 1741. + In Ola Elizabeth Winslow, ed., Jonathon Edwards: Basic writings + (New York: New American Library, 1966) p. 159.] +% +"I am totally convinced...that all the metaphysical claims of traditional + religions are untenable; and I am equally convinced that, although here + and there religious institutions may have done some good, for the most + part they have caused a great deal of harm and mischief. in the short + run, the dislocations and the sense of loss that accompany the decline + of religious belief and of the authoritarian and repressive morality + associated with it are likely to produce some distress and confusion. In + the long run, however, the decline of religion will be of incalculable + benefit to the human race." + [Paul Edwards, N.Y.C., 1985] +% +"...a doctrine which is able to maintain itself not in clear light but only + in the dark, will of necessity lose its effect on mankind, with incalculable + harm to human progress. In their struggle for the ethical good, teachers of + religion must have the stature to give up the doctrine of a personal God, + that is, give up that source of fear and hope which in the past placed such + vast power in the hands of priests.... The further the spiritual evolution + of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine + religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and + blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge." + [Albert Einstein, address at the Princeton Theological + Seminary, May 19, 1939, published in _Out of My Later + Years_, New York: Philosophical Library, 1950.] +% +"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the + fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. + Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as + good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery-- + even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the + existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest + reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms + are accessible to our minds -- it is this knowledge and this emotion that + constitute true religiosity; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a + deeply religious man." + [Albert Einstein,_The World as I See It_] +% +"The mystical trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant + growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a + symptom of weakness and confusion. Since our inner experiences consist of + reproductions, and combinations of sensory impressions, the concept of a soul + without a body seem to me to be empty and devoid of meaning." + [Albert Einstein, letter of 5 February 1921] +% +"If people are good only because they fear punishment, + and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed." + [Albert Einstein] +% +"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth + and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods." + [Albert Einstein] +% +"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the "Universe," a part + limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and + feelings, as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical + delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for + us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few + persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this + prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living + creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." + [Albert Einstein] +% +"What I see in Nature is a magnificent structure that we can comprehend + only very imperfectly, and that must fill a thinking person with a + feeling of "humility." This is a genuinely religious feeling that + has nothing to do with mysticism." + [Albert Einstein] +% +"The foundation of morality should not be made dependent on myth nor tied + to any authority lest doubt about the myth or about the legitimacy of the + authority imperil the foundation of sound judgement and action." + [Albert Einstein] +% +"I cannot believe that God plays dice with the cosmos." + [Albert Einstein, published after his death in 1955 in + the London Observer, 5 April 1964, on his problems + with quantum mechanics and not, as popularly + misinterpreted, an expression of religious belief.] +% +"The minority, the ruling class at present, has the schools and press, + usually the Church as well, under its thumb. This enables it to + organize and sway the emotions of the masses, and make its tool of them." + [Albert Einstein, letter to Sigmund Freud, 30 July 1932] +% +"You will hardly find one among the profounder sort of scientific minds + without a religious feeling of his own. But it is different from the + religiosity of the naive man. For the latter, God is a being from whose + care one hopes to benefit and whose punishment one fears; a sublimation of + a feeling similar to that of a child for its father, a being to whom one + stands, so to speak, in a personal relation, however deeply it may be + tinged with awe. + + But the scientist is possessed by the sense of universal causation... + There is nothing divine about morality; it is a purely human affair. His + religious feeling takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony + of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that, + compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings + is an utterly insignificant reflection... It is beyond question closely + akin to that which has possessed the religious geniuses of all ages." + [Albert Einstein, Mein Weltbild, Amsterdam: Querido Verlag, 1934] +% +"I received your letter of June 10th. I have never talked to a + Jesuit priest in my life and I am astonished by the audacity + to tell such lies about me. From the viewpoint of a Jesuit + priest I am, of course, and have always been an atheist." + [Albert Einstein to Guy H. Raner Jr, July 2, 1945, + responding to a rumor that a Jesuit priest had caused + Einstein to convert from atheism. Article by Michael + R. Gilmore in Skeptic magazine, Vol. 5, No. 2, 1997] +% +"I have repeatedly said that in my opinion the idea of a personal God is a + childlike one. You may call me an agnostic, but I do not share the + crusading spirit of the professional atheist whose fervor is mostly due to + a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination + received in youth. I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the + weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own being." + [Albert Einstein to Guy H. Raner Jr., Sept. 28, 1949, + from article by Michael R. Gilmore in Skeptic + magazine, Vol. 5, No. 2, 1997] +% +"The idea of a personal God is an anthropological + concept which I am unable to take seriously." + [Albert Einstein, letter to + Hoffman and Dukas, 1946] +% +"If this being is omnipotent, then every occurrence, including every human + action, every human thought, and every human feeling and aspiration is also + His work; how is it possible to think of holding men responsible for their + deeds and thoughts before such an almighty Being? In giving out punishment + and rewards He would to a certain extent be passing judgment on Himself. + How can this be combined with the goodness and righteousness ascribed to Him?" + [Albert Einstein, "Out of My Later Years"] +% +"The road to this paradise was not as comfortable and alluring + as the road to the religious paradise; but it has shown itself + reliable, and I have never regretted having chosen it." + [Albert Einstein] +% +"The religious feeling engendered by experiencing the logical comprehensibility + of profound interrelations is of a somewhat different sort from the feeling + that one usually calls religious. It is more a feeling of awe at the scheme + that is manifested in the material universe. It does not lead us to take the + step of fashioning a god-like being in our own image-a personage who makes + demands of us and who takes an interest in us as individuals. There is in this + neither a will nor a goal, nor a must, but only sheer being. For this reason, + people of our type see in morality a purely human matter, albeit the most + important in the human sphere." + [Albert Einstein, from "Albert Einstein: The Human Side", edited by + Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman, Princeton University Press, pp 69-70] +% +"[My] deep religiosity... found an abrupt ending at the age of + twelve, through the reading of popular scientific books." + [Albert Einstein, as quoted in Einstein, + History, and Other Passions, p. 172] +% +"It is quite clear to me that the religious paradise of youth, + which [I] lost, was a first attempt to free myself from the + chains of the 'merely personal,' from an existence which is + dominated by wishes, hopes, and primitive feelings." + [Albert Einstein, as quoted in Einstein, + History, and Other Passions, p. 172] +% +"The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion + which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any + religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism...." + [Albert Einstein] +% +"I do not believe in the God of theology + who rewards good and punishes evil." + [Albert Einstein, Personal memoir of + William Miller, editor, Life, May 2, 1955] +% +"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which + differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people + are even incapable of forming such opinion." + [Albert Einstein, from "Aphorisms for + Leo Baeck; Opinions of Albert Einstein"] +% +"I still believe in God, but God no longer believes in me" + [Andrew Eldritch, singer of the Sisters of Mercy] +% +"Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of awesome mystical power. We know this + because they manage to be invisible and pink at the same time. Like all + religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic + and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they + are invisible because we can't see them." + [Steve Eley] +% +"And the alcoholic bastard waved his finger at me + His voice was filled with evangelical glee + Sipping down his gin and tonics + While preaching about the evils of narcotics + And the evils of sex, and the wages of sin + While he mentally fondles his next of kin..." + [Danny Elfman, "Insanity"] +% +"Man makes himself, and he only makes himself completely in proportion as + he desacrilizes himself and the world. The sacred is the prime obstacle + to his freedom. He will become himself only when he is totally demysticized. + He will not be truly free until he has killed the last god." + [Mircea Eliade] +% +"There would be no perceptible influence on the morals + of the race if Hell were quenched and Heaven burned." + [Charles W. Eliot, in Elbert + Hubbard's Scrapbook, p. 126] +% +"Our literature is a substitute for religion, and so is our religion." + [T. S. Eliot, Milton, 1947] +% +"The Church had a devastating impact upon society. as the church assumed + leadership, activity in the fields of medicine, technology, science, + education, history, and commerce all but collapsed. Europe entered the + dark ages. Although the church amassed a great deal of wealth during + these centuries, most of what defines civilization disappeared." + [Hellen Ellerbe, "The Dark Side Of + Christianity" (Morningstar, 1995)] +% +"For that again, is what all manner of religion + essentially is: childish dependency." + [Albert Ellis] +% +"In a sense, the religious person must have no real views of his own and + it is presumptuous of him, in fact, to have any. In regard to sex-love + affairs, to marriage and family relations, to business, to politics, and + to virtually everything else that is important in his life, he must try + to discover what his god and his clergy would like him to do; and he + must primarily do their bidding." + [Albert Ellis, Ph.D] +% +"Religious fanaticism has clearly produced, and in all probability will + continue to produce, enormous amounts of bickering, fighting, violence, + bloodshed, homicide, feuds, wars, and genocide. For all its peace-inviting + potential, therefore, arrant (not to mention arrogant) religiosity has + led to immense individual and social harm by fomenting an incredible + amount of anti-human anti-humane aggression." + [Albert Ellis] +% +"And it is in his own image, let us remember, that Man creates God." + [H. Havelock Ellis, "Impressions and Comments"] +% +"The whole religious complexion of the modern world is + due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum." + [Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) English scientist and writer] +% +"A religion can no more afford to degrade + its Devil than to degrade its God." + [H. Havelock Ellis, + "Impressions and Comments"] +% +"A man must not swallow more beliefs than he can digest." + [Havelock Ellis] +% +"In an early class, one of the students asked me if I believed in God. I + replied, 'I don't think so.' And then proceeded to wail on the theme, using + material from this column of some weeks ago, in which I observed the + perpetuation of insanity on this planet through the mediums of Arabs-vs-Jews, + Catholics-vs-Protestants, Southern Baptists-vs-Everyone. I said I felt if + 'God created man in his *own* image, in the image of God created he them,' + (Genesis 2:27, King James's italics, not mine) then *we* were God. And when + Man (*my* cap, not King James's) in his most creative, his most loving, his + most gentle and most human, then he is most God-like. + The student said he would pray for my immortal soul. He also asked for my + address, so he could send me some literature on the subject of God. I + thanked him politely and told him I'd gotten all the literature I could + handle on the subject from a certain Thomas Aquinas." + [Harlan Ellison, from "The Glass Teat", Article #29] +% +"When belief in a god dies, the god dies." + [Harlan Ellison, "Deathbird Stories"] +% +"Neither Heaven nor Hell, and surely not a + spaceship, will be found in the tail of a comet." + [Harlan Ellison] +% +"Jesus is not going to come down from the mountain to save + your lily-white hide or your black ass. Save yourselves." + [Harlan Ellison] +% +"Do you believe + God makes you breath? + How did he lose + Six million Jews? + [Emerson, Lake, & Palmer] +% +"As men's prayers are a disease of the will, so + are their creeds a disease of the intellect." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance" (1841)] +% +"Heaven always bears some proportion to earth. The god of the cannibal will + be a cannibal, of the crusades a crusader, and of the merchants a merchant." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson, "The Conduct of Life"] +% +"Other world! There is no other world! + Here or nowhere is the whole fact." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson] +% +"A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised + to save a man from the vexation of thinking." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson] +% +"How wearisome the grammarian, the phrenologist, the political + or religious fanatic or indeed any possessed mortal + whose balance is lost by the exaggeration of a single topic. + [Ralph Waldo Emerson, _Essays_] +% +"The faith that stands on authority is not faith. The reliance on authority + measures the decline of religion, the withdrawal of the soul." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson] +% +"The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits + suicide. It acknowledges that it is not equal to the whole of truth, + that it legislates, tyrannizes over a village of God's empire but it + is not the immutable universal law. Every influx of atheism, of + skepticism is thus made useful as a mercury pill assaulting and + removing a diseased religion and making way for truth." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson] +% +"The religions of the world are the + ejaculations of a few imaginative men." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson] +% +"The Bishop is elected by the Dean and Prebends of the cathedral. The Queen + sends these gentlemen a _conge d'elire_, or leave to elect; but also sends + them the name of the person whom they are to elect. They go into the + cathedral, chant and pray, and beseech the Holy Ghost to assist them in + their choice; and, after these invocations, invariably find that the + dictates of the Holy Ghost agree with the recommendations of the Queen." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson, _English Traits_ (1848)] +% +"Who is he that shall control me? Why may not I act and speak and + write and think with entire freedom? What am I to the universe, or, + the unvierse, what is it to me? Who hath forged the chains of wrong + and right, of Opinion and Custom? And must I wear them?" + [Ralph Waldo Emerson, in "Emerson: The Mind on Fire" p. 51] +% +"Religionists are clinging to little, positive, verbal, formal + versions of the moral law... while the laws of the Law, the great + circling truths whose only adequate symbol is the material laws, the + astronomy etc. are all unobserved, and sneered at when spoken of." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson, in "Emerson: The Mind on Fire" p. 151] +% +"To aim to convert a man by miracles is a profanation of the soul." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Nature"] +% +"Whoso would be a man, must be a non-conformist. He who would gather immortal + palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore it be + goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. + Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world... + I am ashamed to think how easily we capitulate to badges and names, to large + societies and dead institutions." + [Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance"] +% +"7. Certain crimes are committed more immediately against God himself; + others, against the state; and a third kind against certain persons. The + chief crime in the first class, cognizable by temporal courts, is + blasphemy, under which may be included atheism. This crime consists in + denying or vilifying the Deity, by speech or writing. All who curse God + or any of the persons of the blessed Trinity, are to suffer death, even + for a single act; and those who deny him (sic), if they persist in their + denial. The denial of a providence, or of the authority of the holy + Scriptures, is punishable capitally for the third offence." + [1771 edition of Encyclopedia Brittanica, + under Law: Tit. 33 "Of crimes"] +% +"What is more, it appears to be generally realized that some of + the world's foremost philosophers, scientists, and artists have + been avowed atheists and that the increase in atheism has gone + hand in hand with the spread of education." + [Encyclopedia of Philosophy] +% +"Belief is not a matter of choice, and therefore + cannot be used as a measure of virtue." + [M. J. Engh, "Rainbow Man", pg. 43] +% +"Lemme get this straight, you have "faith" in the existence of the most + powerful being you can imagine, who's your best bud and who you can ask + to do favors, and further you have "faith" that when you die you don't + actually cease to exist and become worm food, but your magical buddy + invites you to come live with him in the most wonderful place you can + imagine, and *we* are the ones for whom truth has become "whatever works + for you" or "whatever makes you feel good"??? LMAO!" + [Bob Enweiven] +% +"Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot; + Or he can, but does not want to; + Or he cannot and does not want to. + If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent. + If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked. + But, if God both can and wants to abolish evil, + Then how come evil in the world?" + [Epicurus, 350-?270 BC] +% +"There is nothing to fear from gods, + There is nothing to feel in death, + Good can be attained, + Evil can be endured" + [The Four Herbs of Epicurus, 341-270 BC] +% +"Thus that which is the most awful of evils, death, + is nothing to us, since when we exist there is no + death, and when there is death we do not exist." + [Epicurus] +% +"To sum up (or I shall be pursuing the infinite), it is quite clear + that the Christian religion has a kind of kinship with folly in some + form, though it has none at all with wisdom. If you want proofs of this, + first consider the fact that the very young and the very old, women and + simpletons, are the people who take the greatest delight in sacred and + holy things, and are therefore always found nearest the altars, led there + doubtless solely by their natural instinct. Secondly, you can see how + the first great founders of the faith were great lovers of simplicity and + bitter enemies of learning. Finally, the biggest fools of all appear to + be those who have once been wholly possessed by zeal for Christian + piety. They squander their possessions, ignore insults, submit to being + cheated, make no distinction between friends and enemies, shun pleasure, + sustain themselves on fasting, vigils, tears, toil and humilations, scorn + life and desire only death - in short, they seem to be dead to any normal + feelings, as if their spirit dwelt elsewhere than in their body. What else + can that be but madness? And so we should not be surprised if the apostles + were thought to be drunk on new wine, and Festus judged Paul to be mad." + [Erasmus, 'Praise of Folly'] +% +"Byron's friend Thomas Moore wrote to a friend in 1818 warning + him not to speak of religion or morality, 'the mania on these + subjects being so universal and congenital that he who thinks + of curing it is as mad as his patients.'" + [Carolly Erickson, "Our Tempestuous Days", pg. 224] +% +"After all, religion is an adolescent social device; it takes a serious + and grown-up concern -- spirituality -- and by its very nature reduces + it to both an adolescent sense of eternity and an adolescent moral + scheme in which absolutely everything is cast in stark contrasts, + in which whatever doubt and mystery can't be bleached out of human + experience is codified into ritual and myth." + [Steve Erikson's column "Unspun" in Salon] +% +"Millions long for immortality who don't + know what to do on a Sunday afternoon." + [Susan Ertz] +% +"Churches should look to their members and friends only for the + financing of their undertakings, and no church should engage in + any undertaking, no matter how laudable it may be, that its + members and friends are unable or unwilling to finance." + [Senator Sam Ervin] +% +"When religion controls government, political liberty dies;and + when government controls religion, religious liberty perishes." + [Sen. Sam Ervin] +% +"If I believed in a god, which I do not, I would like to + communicate with him on the same intellectual level. + Therefore, I would have to teach him a few things." + [Aaron Erwin] +% +"Religion stills a thinking mind." + [Greg Erwin] +% +"If I didn't know better, I would think that you were just + making definitions up in an ad hoc manner to avoid coming + to a conclusion which contradicted your a priori wishes." + [Greg Erwin] +% +All religious vows, codes, and commitments are null & void +herein. Please refrain from contaminating the ideosphere +with harmful memes through prayer, reverence, holy books, +proselytizing, prophesying, faith, speaking in tongues or +spirituality. Fight the menace of second-hand faith! + Humanity sincerely thanks you! + [Greg Erwin, _The Nullifidian_] +% +"You are digging for the answers, Until your fingers bleed, + To satisfy the hunger, To satiate the need. + They feed you on the guilt, To keep you humble and low, + Some man and myth they made up, A thousand years ago." + [Melissa Etheridge, "Silent Legacy" + song on the "Yes, I Am" album] +% +"We decree and order that from now on, AND FOR ALL TIME, Christians shall not + eat or drink with Jews; nor admit them to feasts, nor cohabit with them, nor + bathe with them. Christians shall not allow Jews to hold civil honors over + Christians, or to exercise public office in the State. Jews cannot be + merchants, Tax Collectors, or agents in the buying and selling of the produce + and goods of Christians, nor their Procurators, Computers or Lawyers in + matrimonial matters, nor Obstetricians; nor can they have association or + partnership with Christians. No Christian can leave or bequeath anything in + his last Will and testament to Jews or their congregations. Jews are + prohibited from erecting new synogogues. They are obliged to pay annually a + tenth part of their goods and holdings. Against them Christians can testify, + but the testimony of Jews against Christians in no case is of any value. All + and every single Jew, of whatever sex and age, must everywhere wear the + distinct dress and known marks by which they can be evidently distinguished + from Christians. They cannot live among Christians, but in a certain street, + separated and segregated from Christians, and outside which they cannot under + any pretext have houses" + [Pope Eugenius IV, A.D. 1442, Bull. Rom. Pont., V.67] +% +"He was a wise man who originated the idea of gods." + [Euripedes (484-406 B.C.)] +% +"O mortal man, think mortal thoughts!" + [Euripides, Alcestis, l. 799] +% +"Do we, holding that the gods exist, deceive ourselves + with unsubstantial dreams and lies, while random + careless change and chance alone control the world?" + [Euripides, Athenian Dramatist, 484-406 BC, "Hecuba"] +% +"Slavery... That thing of evil, by its nature evil, forcing + submission from a man what no man can yield to." + [Euripides, "Hecuba," 425 B.C. He was the first writer + to condemn slavery, writing this almost 500 years before + Paul wrote: "Slaves, obey your masters." The Bible + nowhere condemns slavery, but in many places condones it.] +% +"I have repeated whatever may rebound to the glory, and + suppresed all that could tend to the disgrace, of our religion." + [Eusebius, early Church Father, in _Praeparatio + Evangelica_, chapter 31, book 12] +% +"On some occasions the bodies of the martyrs who had been devoured by beasts, + upon the beasts being strangled, were found alive in their stomachs." + [Eusebius (4th century), Bishop & Christian ecclesiastical historian] +% +"That it is necessary sometimes to use falsehood as a medicine + for those who need such an approach. [As said in Plato's Laws + 663e by the Athenian:] 'And even the lawmaker who is of little + use, if even this is not as he considered it, and as just now the + application of logic held it, if he dared lie to young men for a + good reason, then can't he lie? For falsehood is even more useful + than the above, and sometimes even more able to bring it about that + everyone willingly keeps to all justice.' [then by Clinias:] 'Truth + is beautiful, stranger, and steadfast. But to persuade people of it + is not easy.' "You would find many things of this sort being used + even in the Hebrew scriptures, such as concerning God being jealous + or falling asleep or getting angry or being subject to some other + human passions, for the benefit of those who need such an approach." + [Eusebius, from the Praeparatio Evangelica 12.31, + listing the ideas Plato supposedly got from Moses] +% +"The North American church is out of touch with global realities." + [Evangelical Foreign Mission Association, affiliated + with the Baptist Church, on the current state of + mission outreaches by American christian churches] +% +"Don't you understand mister, you are royalty and God + has chosen you to be the priest of your home?" + [Tony Evans, co-editor of "Seven Promises of a + Promise Keeper", in The Progressive, August 1996] +% +"The demise of our community and culture is the fault of + sissified men who have been overly influenced by women." + [Tony Evans, co-editor of "Seven Promises of a + Promise Keeper", in The Progressive, August 1996] +% +"I am not suggesting you *ask* for your role back, I'm urging you to + *take* it back...there can be no compromise here. If you're going + to lead, you must lead." + [Tony Evans, co-editor, in "Seven Promises of a Promise + Keeper", "Spiritual Purity" chapter, p. 79-80] +% +"God is a perfect example of the kind of aberration that can result from + an untrained intellect combining with an unrestrained imagination." + [Simon Ewins] +% +"Christianity does not preach the gospels to offer man a guide to salvation. + It uses the gospels as a weapon in the ideological conquest of man." + [Simon Ewins] +% +"She had the dubious distinction of being known as America's most outspoken + atheist," NBC's Tom Brokaw said (9/30/96) in introducing a jokey segment + on Madalyn Murray O'Hair, who has been missing for the past year. It's + impossible to imagine Brokaw making light of the disappearance of someone + who has the "dubious distinction" of being a leader of America's Catholics + or Jews--but atheists are assumed to be fair game for ridicule or attack. + That must be why NBC quoted a "conservative Christian commentator" as saying + of O'Hair: "If she is indeed dead, then she's burning in the fires of hell." + Plenty of fundamentalist Christians believe that all Catholics burn in hell, + but we doubt we'll see NBC quoting any of them the next time a pope dies." + [_Extra! Update_, a periodical from Fairness and Accuracy + in Reporting (FAIR), December 1996 issue, page 2. FAIR is + a New York NY-based media watchdog organization.] +% +"(19)Yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when + she played the whore in the land of Egypt (20) and lusted after her + paramours whose members were like those of donkeys and whose emissions + was like that of stallions" + [Ezekiel 23] +% +"When the Pope gets sick, how come they + never think of sending him to Lourdes?" + [Fact magazine, circa late-60s] +% +"We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn't been for the church dragging + science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake." + [Catherine Fahringer] +% +"You can go off and delude yourself all you want, but when you start + threatening nonbelievers, when you start damaging the education systems, + when you start considering the evil and horror bestowed upon humankind + by your religious beliefs in the past and you refuse to accept any + responsibility for them, that's when things get a bit scary in the real + world of which you and I are a part." + [Dan Fake] +% +"We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism... + we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying + our nation today...our battle is with Satan himself." + [Jerry Falwell] +% +"The ACLU is to Christians what the + American Nazi party is to Jews." + [Rev. Jerry Falwell] +% +"Our goal has been achieved. The Religious Right is solidly in place, + and religious conservatives in America are now in for the duration." + [Jerry Falwell] +% +"We've literally been inundated since the election (with evangelicals) + saying please, please, please crank up the Moral Majority again." + [Jerry Falwell] +% +"I feel most ministers who claim they've heard God's voice are + eating too much pizza before they go to bed at night, and it's + really an intestinal disorder, not a revelation." + [Rev. Jerry Falwell] +% +"I hope I live to see the day, when, as in the early days of our country, + we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over + again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!" + [Rev. Jerry Falwell, America Can Be Saved, (1979)] +% +"I listen to feminists and all these radical gals -- most of them are failures. + They've blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some + Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom. These women + just need a man in the house. That's all they need. Most of the feminists + need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And + they blew it and they're mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They're + sexist. They hate men -- that's their problem." + [Reverend Jerry Falwell] +% +"Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America." + [Jerry Falwell] +% +"AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To + oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red + Sea to save one of Pharoah's chariotters." + [Jerry Falwell] +% +"If you're not a born-again Christian, + you're a failure as a human being." + [Jerry Falwell] +% +"I believe that the people of Israel are the chosen people of God." + [Jerry Falwell, interview on Cable News Network, 21 Nov 1982] +% +"The idea that religion and politics don't mix + was invented by the Devil to keep Christians + from running their own country." + [Rev. Jerry Falwell] +% +"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is + God's punishment for the society that *tolerates* homosexuals." + [Rev. Jerry Falwell, 1993] +% +"You say what's going to happen on this earth when the Rapture occurs? + You'll be riding along in an automobile; you'll be the driver, perhaps; + you're a Christian; there'll be several people in the automobile with + you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the trumpet sounds, you + and the other born-again Christians in that automobile will be instantly + caught away, you'll disappear, leaving behind only your clothing and + physical things that cannot inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or + persons in the automobile will suddenly be startled to find that the car + is moving along without a driver, and suddenly somewhere crashes. Those + saved people in the car have disappeared. Other cars on the highway + driven by believers will suddenly be out of control. Stark pandemonium + will occur on that highway and on every highway in the world where + Christians are caught away from the world." + [Jerry Falwell, from Wills, Garry, "Under God, Religion and + American Politics", Simon & Schuster, 1990, pg. 147, + originally excerpted from "Ronald Reagan and the Prophecy of + Armageddon" by Joe Cuomo, National Public Radio] +% +"He is purple -- the gay-pride color; and his antenna is shaped like a + triangle -- the gay-pride symbol.... As a Christian I feel that role + modeling the gay lifestyle is damaging to the moral lives of children." + [Rev. Jerry Falwell "outing" Tinky Winky the Teletubby, + Feb. 1999 edition of the National Liberty Journal] +% +"The ACLU's got to take a lot of blame for this. And, I know that I'll hear + from them for this. But, throwing God or successfully with the help of the + federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the + schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God + will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, + we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, + and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to + make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, + all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in + their face and say 'you helped this happen'." + [Jerry Falwell, on the 700 Club, 9-13-2001] +% +"I do not believe the Republicans or the Democrats have the solution to + America's moral and spiritual dilemma. Only a pervasive and national + spiritual awakening can prevent us entering the post-Christian era as + we go simultaneously into the 21st century. I believe America is in + imminent peril. We are rotting from within." + [Jerry Falwell, "Rebuilding America's Walls," 7/6/1997] +% +"America is living by a standard of relative morality. Young people who do + not know what is right will follow their animal nature. If young people + do not believe in absolute truth and absolute morality, they will + fornicate, rob and indulge their selfish pleasures. Absolute truth and + absolute morality are the basis of the Declaration of Independence. + These are self-evident truths and inalienable rights." + [Jerry Falwell] +% +"If America is not suffering the irrevocable judgment of God because she + has broken her covenant with God, then I believe she is dangerously close." + [Jerry Falwell, "America Made a Deal with God," 7/6/1997] +% +"Since the Antichrist will not be revealed before Jesus comes, I believe + conditions are falling in place, i.e., one-world government, so he can + rule the world after Jesus comes. But we're moving toward a one-world + government through the United Nations, through the world court and a + growing world opinion. The problem is that the one-world opinion is + taking the side of the Palestinians, not the side of Israel. + [Jerry Falwell, "What is Next in the End-Time Drama," 9/9/2001] +% +"Religion is more like response to a fiend + than it is like obedience to an expert." + [Austin Farrer] +% +"Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his + martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?" + [Jules Feiffer] +% +"What good is a beautiful church that serves the + spiritual needs to someone sleeping on a steam grate?" + [James Felder] +% +"If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!" + ["Ma" Ferguson, Governor of Texas] +% +"In the church of a small town in the state of S. Paulo, Brazil, the statue + of Virgin Mary started to weep regularly. The news spread like fire and soon + pilgrims from everywhere crowded the place, hoping for miracles. Researchers + from the nearby university of Campinas took samples of the tears and compared + them to the available water sources in the neighborhood. They turned out to + have the same chemical composition as the water from a drawn well behind the + church. Then the researchers sealed the statue inside a glass dome and the + tears stopped for many days. When the weeping began anew, they noticed the + seal had been broken. Their report stated clearly that the so-called miracle + was a fraud, possibly to attract pilgrims to the region. The media asked a + woman what she thought of the report and she replied: "I don't care for + reports. The Virgin wept. It's my faith that counts". + [Leo Fernandes] +% +"We who are unbelievers have so much to lose. The fire in the belly for + freedom of conscience can be quelled when threatened, and the lips can be + forced to mouth words. But the mind of the unbeliever, once opened to the + fact that nothing supernatural exists either to worship or to fear, cannot + be stilled without paying a great price. It is all too evident that life + is a struggle for power by some human beings over others, and history has + shown time and again that the most effective weapon for grabbing that + power is religion. Will history show ours to be proof of the maxim that + free societies don't last?" + [Sandra Feroe, "A Thanksgiving Ideal" Nov. 21, 1998] +% +"When the masses become better informed about science, they will feel + less need for help from supernatural Higher Powers. The need for + religion will end when Man becomes sensible enough to govern himself. + We will not, therefore, lose our time praying to an imaginary god + for things which our own exertions alone can procure." + [Francisco Ferrer y Guardia, Spanish atheist educator + accused by Catholic clergy of leading a riot in Barcelona + and executed without a trial. From "The Origin and + Ideals of the Modern School", published posthumously] +% +"Let no more gods or exploiters be served. + Let us learn rather to love one another." + [Francisco Ferrer] +% +"[My] purpose...is is to transform theologians into anthropologists, + lovers of God into lovers of man, candidates for the next world into + students of this world ... I negate the fantastic hypocracy of theology + and religion only in order to affirm the true nature of man." + [Ludwig Feuerbach] +% +"Man first unconsciously and involuntarily creates + God in his own image, and after this God (Religion) + consciously and voluntarily creates man in his own image" + [Ludwig Andreas von Feuerbach, + "The Essence Of Christianity" 1841] +% +"Only he is a truly ethical, a truly human being, who has the + courage to see through his own religious feelings and needs." + [Ludwig Feuerbach] +% +"Faith is essentially intolerant... essentially because necessarily + bound up with faith is the illusion that one's cause is also God's cause." + [Ludwig Feuerbach] +% +"God is the explanation for the unexplainable which explains nothing + because it explains everything without distinction -- he is the night of + theory, nonetheless making everything clear to the mind by removing any + measure of darkness and extinguishing the light of discriminating + comprehension -- the not-knowing which solves all doubts by repudiating + them, which knows everything because it knows nothing in particular and + because all things which impress reason are nothing to religion, lose their + identity and are nil in God's eye. The night is the mother of religion." + [Feuerbach, "Das Wesen des Christenthums" (19th century, Germany)] +% +"You see, one thing is, I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. + I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers + which might be wrong. I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and + different degrees of uncertainty about different things, but I am not + absolutely sure of anything and there are many things I don't know anything + about, such as whether it means anything to ask why we're here... I don't + have to know an answer. I don't feel frightened not knowing things, by being + lost in a mysterious universe without any purpose, which is the way it really + is as far as I can tell. It doesn't frighten me." + [Richard P. Feynman, "Genius, the life and science"] +% +"It is our responsibility as scientists, knowing the great progress which + comes from a satisfactory philosophy of ignorance, the great progress + which is the fruit of freedom of thought, to proclaim the value of this + freedom; to teach how doubt is not to be feared but welcomed and discussed; + and to demand this freedom as our duty to all coming generations." + [Richard Feynman, "What Do You Care What Other People Think?"] +% +"God was invented to explain mystery. God is always invented to explain + those things that you do not understand. Now, when you finally discover + how something works, you get some laws which you're taking away from God; + you don't need him anymore. But you need him for the other mysteries. So + therefore you leave him to create the universe because we haven't figured + that out yet; you need him for understanding those things which you don't + believe the laws will explain, such as consiousness, or why you only live + to a certain length of time--life and death--stuff like that. God is + always associated with those things that you do not understand. Therefore + I don't think that the laws can be considered to be like God because they + have been figured out." + [Richard Feynman] +% +"[When a young person loses faith in his religion because he begins + to study science and its methodology] it isn't that [through the + obtaining of real knowledge that] he knows it all, but he suddenly + realizes that he doesn't know it all." + [Richard P. Feynman, "The Meaning of It All," p. 36] +% +"Scientific views end in awe and mystery, lost at the edge in + uncertainty, but they appear to be so deep and so impressive + that the theory that it is all arranged as a stage for God to + watch man's struggle for good and evil seems inadequate." + [Richard P. Feynman, "The Meaning of It All," p. 39] +% +"It is in the admission of ignorance and the admission of uncertainty + that there is a hope for the continuous motion of human beings in some + direction that doesn't get confined, permanently blocked, as it has so + many times before in various periods in the history of man." + [Richard Feynman, "The Meaning of It All", p. 34] +% +"The greatest achievement ever made in the cause of human progress is the + total and final separation of church and state. If we have nothing else to + boast of, we could lay claim with justice that the first among the nations + we of this country made it an article of organic law that the relations + between man and his maker were a private concern, into which other men + have no right to intrude. To measure the stride thus made for the + Emancipation of the race, we have only to look back over the centuries + that have gone before us, and recall the dreadful persecutions in the + name of religion that have filled the world." + [David Dudley Field (1805-1894) in describing 'American + Progress in Jurisprudence,' as quoted in Anson Phelps + Stokes, Church And State In The United States Vol I, p. 37] +% +"The Theologian is an owl, sitting on an old dead branch in the tree of + human knowledge, and hooting the same old hoots that have been hooted for + hundreds and thousands of years, but he has never given a hoot for progress." + [Emmett F. Fields] +% +"Atheism is the world of reality, it is reason, it is freedom. + Atheism is human concern, and intellectual honesty to a degree that + the religious mind cannot begin to understand. And yet it is more + than this. Atheism is not an old religion, it is not a new and coming + religion, in fact it is not, and never has been, a religion at all. + The definition of Atheism is magnificent in its simplicity: Atheism + is merely the bed-rock of sanity in a world of madness." + [Atheism: An Affirmative View, by Emmett F. Fields] +% +"Atheism has one doctrine: To Question + Atheism has one dogma: To Doubt + The Atheist Bible has but one word: THINK." + [Emmett F. Fields] +% +"Nothing changes history like the Christian Historian" + [Emmett F. Fields] +% +"Those who believe in hell can never know + truth, for they are blinded by fear." + [Emmett F. Fields] +% +"Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, + the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is + the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas" + [W. C. Fields] +% +"I'm looking for loopholes." + [W. C. Fields, when + caught reading the Bible] +% +"To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and + I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need + indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe. Someone has + to come up with the whys and wherefores." + [W. C. Fields, from "W. C. Fields + & Me" by Carlotta Monti] +% +"Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable + statistics which prove that more people are driven + insane through religious hysteria than by drinking." + [W. C. Fields] +% +"A world where most men prefer sex with little children to sex with + grown women, mostly allegedly Christian parents secretly engage in bloody + Satanic rituals and every third person has suffered anal, genital and other + harassments by demonic dwarfs from outer space makes as much sense - and + just as little sense - as a world where the universe is ruled by the ghost + of a crucified Jew and George Bush had rational reasons (which no one can now + remember) for bombing Iraq again two days before leaving the White House." + [Prof. T. F. X. Finnegan, Trinity College, Dublin] +% +"What kind of a god would crucify his own son?" + [Firesign Theatre] +% +"It remains one of the most baffling yet affecting phenomena in modern + religious life: A beam of light or a spot of dirt in an otherwise ordinary + place is perceived as the image of the Virgin Mary, and suddenly thousands + of pilgrims descend on the site, turning it into a makeshift shrine. ...In + previous years, it has been a vision in the sky, a glint off a car bumper, + a face in a tortilla, a tear on an icon. ...But while church leaders are + often loath to debunk a visionary experience, not wanting to damage the + faith of thousands, they are also leery of letting such events get out of + hand. If someone who claims to have communicated with the divine begins + spreading teachings that are contrary to church dogma, bishops have not + hesitated to step in." + [David Firestone, Newsday, Press Democrat, 23 December 1990] +% +I see them on the corner +Big black Bible in hand +Shoutin' at the people to hear the word of the Lord, + and it's this: +"You're just a filthy sinner-man! +You can't save yourself, but -- Jesus can! +And then you too can be an angel with a sword -- + Smite the unrighteous! +Make Jesus your goal, +Sell him your soul, +Go throw your mind down the nearest hole." + +CHORUS: + +And the Lord Christ Jesus will +Save you from the Devil and Sin, +The Lord Marx Lenin will +Save you from the Chairman of the Board, +The Lord Smack Needle will +Save you from the pains of life -- +But who will come and save you from your Lord? + + [Leslie Fish, "Trinity"] +% +"In 1550 he (Las Casas) took part in a great controversy with Juan de + Sepulveda, one of the most celebrated scholars of that time. Sepulveda + wrote a book in which he maintained the right of the pope and the king + of Spain to make war upon the heathen people of the New World and bring + them forcibly into the fold of Christ.... In maintaining his ground + that persuasion is the only lawful method for making men Christians, + extreme nicety of statement was required, for the least slip might bring + him within the purview of the Inquisition. Men were burning at the + stake for heresy while this discussion was going on, and the controversy + more than once came terribly near home." + [Discovery of America, Chapter XI: + Las Casas, John Fiske, 1892] +% +"God made his only son die on the cross to avenge his own anger + against a man and woman four thousand years dead. Besides, the + garbage disposal was sending radio signals through his head + and it seemed like a really good idea at the time." + [Charles Fiterman] +% +"We warn the North that every one of the leading abolitionists is + agitating the negro slavery question merely as a means to attain + their ulterior ends... a surrender to Socialism and Communism + -- to no private property, no church, no law; to free love, free + lands, free women and free children." + [George Fitzhugh, 1857] +% +"Once upon a time two explorers came upon a clearing in the jungle. In the + clearing were growing many flowers and many weeds. One explorer says, + "Some gardener must tend this plot." The other disagrees, "There is no + gardener." So, they pitch their tents and set a watch. No gardener.... + So they set up a barbed wire fence. They electrify it. They patrol it with + bloodhounds... But no shrieks even suggest that some intruder intruder has + received a shock. No movements of the wire ever betray an invisible climber. + The bloodhounds never give cry. Yet still the Believer is not convinced. + "But there is a gardener, invisible, intangible, insensible to electric + shocks, a gardener who has no scent and makes no sound, a gardener who comes + secretly to look after the garden which he loves." At last the Skeptic + despairs, "But what remains of your original assertion? Just how does what + you call an invisible, intangible, eternally elusive gardener differ from an + imaginary gardener or even no gardener at all?" + [Anthony Flew] +% +"Christian biblical theology must recognise that its articulation + of anti-Judaism in the New Testament ... generated the unspeakable + sufferings of the Holocaust." + [Dr. E. Florenza (Prof. of New Testament Studies) & Dr. D. Tracy + (Prof. of Philosophical Theology), "The Holocaust as Interruption" + (Edinburgh: T. & T. Clark, Ltd., 1984).] +% +"The Bible has done more harm than any other book in the world." + [William Floyd, "Christianity Cross-Examined"] +% +"Religion...can exercise a severe crippling and inhibiting effect + upon the human mind, by fostering irrational anxiety and guilt, + and by hampering the free play of the intellect". + [Dr J C Flugel] +% +"The Santa myth is one of the most effective means ever + devised for intimidating children, eroding their self- + esteem, twisting their behavior, warping their values, + and slowing their development of critical thinking skills." + [Tom Flynn, _The Trouble with Christmas_] +% +"Most humans feel what Paul Kurtz has called the "transcendent temptation," + the emotional drive to festoon the universe with large-scale meaning.... + Secular humanists suspect there is something more gloriously human about + *resisting* the religious impulse; about accepting the cold truth, even if + that truth is only that the universe is as indifferent to us as we are to + it; about facing the existential vacuum in all its horrible majesty; and + constructing a life of compassion and exuberance on its brink without + relying on the dubious shelter of faith." + [Tom Flynn, "The Difference a Word Makes", Free Inquiry] +% +"I had resources so I was able to get help. ....To all you 'born + again' Christians out there, I recommend some lithium; it helps." + [Larry Flynt on his conversion experience, + on the Larry King Show, 1/10/97] +% +"Oh, we could probably learn to like one another, and we probably + have some things in common. But you have to be honest about what + you do. And the Reverend Falwell isn't being honest. He's in + the business of selling religion." + [Larry Flynt, on Larry King Live, 1/10/97, in a debate with + Rev. Jerry Falwell, and asked if he could ever like Falwell] +% +"It's no wonder Christian Coalition members repeat their organization's + mission like a mantra. Understanding morality not informed by a faith + in Jesus Christ must confound true believers at least as much as values + not guided primarily by common sense perplex the rest of the population." + [Alex Foege, "The Empire God Built: Inside + Pat Robertson's Media Machine", pg 143] +% +"The secret they [the courts] do not seem to understand + is that there is no separation of church and state in + the Constitution or in any of our founding documents." + [Janet Folger, Center for Reclaiming America for Christ, + in Coral Ridge On-line Newsletter, February, 1999] +% +"It will yet be the proud boast of women that + they never contributed a line to the Bible." + [George W. Foote] +% +"There are two things in the world that can never + get together- religion & common sense." + [George W. Foote, from "Flowers of + Freethought, 2 vols. 1893-94] +% +"The only terror in death is the apprehension of what lies beyond + it, and that emotion is impossible to a sincere disbeliever." + [G. W. Foote, "Infidel Death Beds"] +% +"The man who worships a tyrant in heaven naturally + submits his neck to the yoke of tyrants on earth." + [George W. Foote, "Flowers of Freethought"] +% +My School Prayer + +Now I lay me down to learn +Which to read and which to burn +Pray the Lord my soul to turn +Over to the school board. + +Free to worship as I please, +Long as it pleases the authorities. +Hear me praying on my knees +My School Prayer. + +"Once again, boys and girls, I'll remind you that this activity +is not mandatory, and those of you who don't believe in a +Judeo-Christian God as defined by Congress should feel free to +sit quietly with your fingers in your ears like the atheistic +heathen you are. Agnostics may want to plug just one ear." + +May my every sneeze be blessed. +May I pass my urine test. +May my mind be underest- +imated and ignored, Lord + +Keep my classroom safe and clean. +Sanctify my M-16. +Every morning, eight-fifteen, +It's My School Prayer. + +God bless California, Arizona, +North Dakota, Texas, Maine, +New Hampshire, +Ohio and New York, of course. + +The forty-eight contiguous, +And the two ambiguous. +The greatest country God ever saved from the pagans. + +And while we're at it, dear Lord, bless the Reagans. + +God is good, and God is great. +So we'd hate to separate +Church and state or ourselves from pat- +riarchy and theocracy. + +Peace on earth, Thy kingdom come +Into my curriculum. +Make my head a hollow drum. + +Strike me dumb +Except to mumble +My School Prayer. + +[The Foremen,"My School Prayer", + from the "What's Left?" album] +% +"Bring me a creationist who doesn't lie, deceive, distort and + distract then I will show you a whole lot of thin air!" + [Clayton Forno] +% +"Saying the second law of thermodynamics means evolution can't happen + is like saying the theory of gravity means birds can't fly." + [Clayton Forno] +% +"The exoteric, state-organised section of the Christian Church persecuted + and stamped out the esoteric section, destroying every trace of its + literature... in striving to eradicate... gnosis from human history." + [Dion Fortune, "The Mystical Qabalah"] +% +"A religion without a goddess is half-way to atheism." + [Dion Fortune] +% +"Q. Where does Jodie Foster stand in the debate between science and faith?" + +"I absolutely believe what Ellie believes - that there is no direct + evidence, so how could you ask me to believe in God when there's + absolutely no evidence that I can see? I do believe in the beauty and + the awe-inspiring mystery of the science that's out there that we + haven't discovered yet, that there are scientific explanations for + phenomena that we call mystical because we just don't know any better." + [Jodie Foster, interview with Dan McLeod, "Foster Makes Contact + With Sagan" published in Vancouver's Georgia Strait July 10, 1997 + issue, on her role as Dr. Eleanor Arroway in the film "Contact"] +% +"Whatever sympathy I feel towards religions, whatever admiration for + some of their adherents, whatever historical or biological necessity I + see in them, whatever metaphorical truth, I cannot accept them as + credible explanations of reality; and they are incredible to me in + proportion to the degree that they require my belief in positive human + attributes and intervenient powers in their divinities." + [John Fowles, _The Aristos_] +% +"The process of creating new scripture by constructive abuse of + the old reaches its climax in the letters ascribed to Paul." + [Robin Lane Fox, Historian; Fellow, New College, Oxford] +% +"The atheist bashes all religions whilst the theist bashes + all but his own, upon which he lavishes great care in case + it should come in contact with reality." + [Gully Foyle] +% +"The absurdity of a religious practice may be clearly demonstrated + without lessening the numbers of people who indulge in it." + [Anatole France] +% +"If 50 million people believe a foolish + thing, it is still a foolish thing" + [Anatole France] +% + (God explaining the doctrine of free will.) "In order not to impair + human liberty, I will be ignorant of what I know, I will thicken upon + my eyes the veils I have pierced, and in my blind clear-sightedness + I will let myself be surprised by what I have foreseen." + [Anatole France] +% +"Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin." + [Anatole France] +% +"The impotence of God is infinite." + [Anatole France] +% +"We thank God for having created this world, and praise Him for having made + another, quite different one, where the wrongs of this one are corrected." + [Anatole France] +% + "Les dieux ont coutume de ressembler à ceux qui les adorent." +("the gods have the custom of resembling those that worship them") + [Anatole France] +% +"Mystery is essential to the impostor. Above everything else, the charlatan + must avoid straightforward reasoning and simplicity of expression: too clear + and direct a light would quickly destroy the spell he exerts, through eloquent + ambiguity, over his victims. In all ages, the voice of the humbug has + exercised a peculiar fascination -- it is his chief weapon. But though he + has to speak and write continuously, his announcements are best couched in + indefinite phrases, opaque and susceptible of many interpretations, like the + words of Subtle, the alchemist in Ben Jonson's play of that name." + [Grete de Francesco (translated from the German + by Miriam Beard -- Yale University Press, 1939)] +% +"One of the sponsors of the creche was asked about his interest in viewing + it while it stood on Scarsdale's Boniface Circle during the christmas + season. To my surprise as the questioner, it turned out the he never bothered + to go look at the creche at all, let alone to admire or draw inspiration from + it. But on reflection, it should not have been so surprising. The creche was + not there for him to see or to appreciate for its intrinsic spiritual value + in his religious universe. it was there for others, who professed other + religions or none, so that the clout of his religious group should be made + manifest- above all to any in the sharply divided village who would have + preferred that it not be there." + [_Faith And Freedom, Religious Liberty In America_, + Marvin E. Frankel, retired Federal Judge, p. 61] +% +"Certainly the affirmative pursuit of one's convictions about the ultimate + mystery of the universe and man's relation to it is placed beyond the + reach of law. Government may not interfere with organized or individual + expressions of belief or disbelief. Propagation of belief -- or even of + disbelief -- in the supernatural is protected, whether in church or + chapel, mosque or synagogue, tabernacle or meeting-house." + [Felix Frankfurter, U.S. Supreme Court justice, majority decision, + Minersville School District v. Gobitis, 310 U.S. 586, 1940] +% +"In modern Europe, as in ancient Greece, it would seem that even inanimate + objects have sometimes been punished for their misdeeds. After the revocation + of the edict of Nantes, in 1685, the Protestant chapel at La Rochelle was + condemned to be demolished, but the bell, perhaps out of regard for its value, + was spared. However, to expiate the crime of having rung heretics to prayers, + it was sentenced to be first whipped, and then buried and disinterred, by way + of symbolizing its new birth at passing into Catholic hands. Thereafter it + was catechized, and obliged to recant and promise that it would never again + relapse into sin. Having made this ample and honourable amends, the bell was + reconciled, baptized, and given, or rather sold, to the parish of St. + Bartholomew. But when the governer sent in the bill for the bell to the + parish authorities, they declined to settle it, alleging that the bell, as + a recent convert to Catholicism, desired to take advantage of the law lately + passed by the king, which allowed all new converts a delay of three years in + paying their debts. + [Sir James G. Frazer, _Folklore In The Old Testament_] +% +"Some of the old laws of Israel are clearly savage taboos of + a familiar type thinly disguised as commands of the deity." + [Sir James G. Frazer] +% +"Not only is there nothing to be gained by believing an untruth, + but there is everything to lose when we sacrifice the indispensable + tool of reason on the altar of superstition." + [Freedom From Religion Foundation] +% +"...the Bible, a book that glorifies behavior you abhor." + [Freedom From Religion Foundation] +% +"The modern world is essentially non-religious. This may seem a strange + statement given the rise of a militant Catholic church and militant + Muslim, American Protestant, and Judaic groups. But if one examines + the acts, as opposed to the rhetoric, of these movements, one finds + their primary purpose is to reassert dominance over women and subordinate + groups, e.g., Muslim socialists, American blacks, Israeli Arabs." + [Marilyn French, "Will Secularism Survive?" + article in _Free Inquiry_ magazine] +% +"The more the fruits of knowledge become accessible to men, + the more widespread is the decline of religious belief." + [Sigmund Freud] +% +"When a man has once brought himself to accept uncritically all the + absurdities that religious doctrines put before him and even to + overlook the contradictions between them, we need not be greatly + suprised at the weakness of his intellect" + [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion", 1927] +% +"Civilization has little to fear from educated people and brain-workers. + In them the replacement of religious motives for civilized behaviours by + other, secular motives, would proceed unobtrusively..." + [Sigmund Freud, 1927] +% +"Religious ideas have sprung from the same need as all the other + achievements of culture: from the necessity for defending itself + against the crushing supremacy of nature." + [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion" 1927, p.34] +% +"While the different religions wrangle with one another as to which of them + is in possession of the truth, in our view the truth of religion may be + altogether disregarded. Religion is an attempt to get control over the + sensory world, in which we are placed, by means of the wish-world, which + we have developed inside us as a result of biological and psychological + necessities. But it cannot achieve its end. Its doctrines carry with them + the stamp of the times in which they originated, the ignorant childhood days + of the human race. Its consolations deserve no trust. Experience teaches + us that the world is not a nursery. The ethical commands, to which religion + seeks to lend its weight, require some other foundations instead, for human + society cannot do without them, and it is dangerous to link up obedience to + them with religious belief. If one attempts to assign to religion its place + in man's evolution, it seems not so much to be a lasting acquisition, as a + parallel to the neurosis which the civilized individual must pass through + on his way from childhood to maturity." + [Sigmund Freud, "Moses and Monotheism", 1932] +% +"A great deal is already gained with the first step: the humanization + of nature. Impersonal forces and destinies cannot be approached... + if everywhere in nature there are Beings around us of a kind that we + know in our own society.... we can apply the same methods against these + violent supermen outside that we employ in our own society; we can try + to adjure them, to appease them, to bribe them, and, by so influencing + them, we may rob them of a part of their power + [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion", 1927] +% +"No, our science is no illusion. But an illusion it would be to + suppose that what science cannot give us we can get elsewhere." + [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion", 1927] +% +"Demons do not exist any more than gods do, being + only the products of the psychic activity of man." + [Sigmund Freud, New York Times Magazine, 6 May 1956] +% +"It would be very nice if there were a God who created the world + and was a benevolent providence, and if there were a moral order + in the universe and an after-life; but it is a very striking + fact that all this is exactly as we are bound to wish it to be." + [Sigmund Freud] +% +"Religion would then be the universal obsessional neurosis of humanity; + like the obsessisional neurosis of children...If this view is right, + it is to be supposed that a turning away from religion is bound to + occur with the fatal inevitability of a process of growth." + [Sigmund Freud] +% +"In the long run, nothing can withstand reason and experience, + and the contradiction religion offers to both is only too palpable." + [Sigmund Freud] +% +"Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from + the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires." + [Sigmund Freud, "New Introductory + Lectures on Psychoanalysis"] +% +"When a man is freed of religion, he has a better + chance to live a normal and wholesome life." + [Sigmund Freud, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, + Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by + James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"The gods retain their threefold task: they must exorcize the terrors + of nature, they must reconcile men to the cruelty of fate, particularly + as it is shown in death, and they must compensate them for the sufferings + and privations which a civilized life in common has imposed on them." + [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion", 1927] +% +"The greater the number of men to whom the treasures of knowledge become + accessible, the more widespread is the falling-away from religious + belief -- at first only from its obsolete and objectionable trappings, + but later from its fundamental postulates as well." + [Sigmund Freud] +% +"The different religions have never overlooked the part played by the + sense of guilt in civilization. What is more, they come forward with a + claim...to save mankind form this sense of guilt, which they call sin." + [Sigmund Freud, "Civilization and its Discontents"] +% +"They'll do anything, so long as there's no chance the neighbors will + find out about it. Neighbors have been responsible for more straight + living than all the great religions of the world combined." + [Esther Friesner, "Here Be Demons", pg. 143] +% +"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend + Do it in the name of heaven - you can justify it in the end." + [From One Tin Soldier] +% +"Man is forbidden to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. + He acts against God's command... From the standpoint of the Church, + which represents authority, this is essentially sin. From the + standpoint of man, however, this is the beginning of human freedom." + [Erich Fromm (1900-1980)] +% +"Once a doctrine, however irrational, has gained power in + a society, millions of people will believe it rather than + feel ostracized and isolated." + [Erich Fromm, "An Analysis of Some + Types of Religious Experience"] +% +"I turned to speak to God/About the world's despair;/But to + make bad matters worse/I found God wasn't there." + [Robert Frost (1874-1963)] +% +"Now, I'm a minister, but if I have to remove the Bible, + remove the cross from the wall, remove the Ten Commandments + to get that government money, I'll do it." + [Rev. Larry Fryer, from NY Times 03/24/2001] +% +"A world filled with wonder + a cold fathomless sky + a man's life so meager he can but wonder why + he cries out to heaven, its truth to reveal + the answer only silence for God isn't real + + Go ask the starving millions under Stalin's cruel reign + go ask the child with cancer who eases her pain + and go to your churches if that's how you feel + but don't ask me to follow for God isn't real + + He forms in his image a weak and foolish man + speaks to him in symbols that few understand + for a life of devotion the death blow he deals + we owe him only hatred but God isn't real + + Go tell the executioner of the power he can't defy + go tell his shackled victim of the mercy on high + and go to your churches go beg, pray and kneel + but don't ask me to follow for God isn't real + No - no matter how he should be - God isn't real. + [Robbie Fulks, "God Isn't Real" from his + album- Let's Kill Saturday Night (1998)] +% +"The right of holding slaves is clearly established in the + Holy Scriptures, both by precept and example." + [Rev. R. Furman, D. D., Baptist, of South Carolina] +% +"He asked: "Why did God create mosquitos"? + I answered: "To watch man chasing them, as it + seems God likes to watch Nintendo games". + [Hussein Gaafar] +% +"...a noble practice which does honor to women." + [Sheik Gad Al Haq Ali Gad Al Haq, explaining + Mohammed's law for removing part or all of a + girl's clitoris to reduce her sexual appetite] +% +"Do not allow the Church or State to govern + your thought or dictate your judgment." + [Matilda Joslyn Gage, "Woman, + Church and State", 1893] +% +"Throughout this protracted & disgraceful assault on + American womanhood the clergy baptized each new insult and + act of injustice in the name of the Christian religion..." + [Matilda Joslyn Gage] +% +"Those who are enslaved to their sects are not merely devoid of + all sound knowledge, but they will never even stop to learn." + [Galen] +% +"I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense, + reason, and intellect had intended for us to forgo their use." + [Galileo] +% +"In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is + not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual." + [Galileo Galilei] +% +"They know that it is human nature to take up causes whereby a man may + oppress his neighbor, no matter how unjustly. ... Hence they have had + no trouble in finding men who would preach the damnability and heresy + of the new doctrine from the very pulpit..." + [Galileo Galilei, 1615] +% +"The doctrine that the earth is neither the center of the + universe nor immovable, but moves even with a daily rotation, + is absurd, and both philosophically and theologically false, + and at the least an error of faith." + [Catholic Church's decision against Galileo Galilei] +% +"I think that in the discussion of natural problems we ought to begin + not with the Scriptures, but with experiments, and demonstrations." + [Galileo Galilei, "The Authority of Scripture in Philosophical + Controversies", which was condemned by the Inquisition] +% +"It vexes me when they would constrain science by the + authority of the Scriptures, and yet do not consider + themselves bound to answer reason and experiment." + [Galileo Galilei, "The Authority of + Scripture in Philosophical Controversies"] +% +"It is surely harmful to souls to make it + a heresy to believe what is proved." + [Galileo Galilei, "The Authority of + Scripture in Philosophical Controversies"] +% +"Having been admonished by this Holy Office [the Inquisition] entirely to + abandon the false opinion that the Sun was the center of the universe and + immovable, and that the Earth was not the center of the same and that it + moved... I abjure with a sincere heart and unfeigned faith, I curse and + detest the said errors and heresies, and generally all and every error + and sect contrary to the Holy Catholic Church." + [Galileo Galilei, Recantation, 22 June 1633] +% +"...nothing physical which sense-experience sets before our eyes, or + which necessary demonstrations prove to us, ought to be called into + question (much less condemned) upon the testimony of biblical passages." + [Galileo Galilei, quoted in "Blind Watchers of the Sky", p. 101] +% +"Organized Christianity has probably done more to retard the ideals + that were its founder's than any other agency in the world." + [Richard Le Gallienne] +% +"I could prove God statistically." + [George Gallup] +% +"Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, + an intransigent mind, and a step that travels unlimited roads." + [John Galt, in Ayn Rand's _Atlas Shrugged_] +% +"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians, + Your christians are so unlike your christ" + [Mahatma Gandhi] +% +"The most fatal blow to progress is slavery of the intellect. The + most sacred right of humanity is the right to think, and next to the + right to think is the right to express that thought without fear." + [Helen H. Gardner, _Men, Women and Gods_] +% +"I do not know the needs of a god or of another world.... I do + know that women make shirts for seventy cents a dozen in this one. + [Helen H. Gardener, "Men, Women and Gods," 1885] +% +"Every injustice that has ever been fastened upon women + in a Christian country has been "authorized by the Bible" + and riveted and perpetuated by the pulpit." + [Helen H. Gardner] +% +"But why are Paul's commands not followed to-day? Why are not the words, + sister, mother, daughter, wife, only names for degradation and dishonor? + Because men have grown more honorable than their religion, and the strong + arm of the law, supported by the stronger arm of public sentiment, demands + greater justice than St. Paul ever dreamed of. Because men are growing grand + enough to recongize the fact that right is not masculine only, and that + justice knows no sex. And because the church no longer makes the laws. + Saints have been retired from the legal profession. I can't recall the name + of a single one who is practicing law now. Have any of you ever met a saint + at the bar? Women are indebted to-day for their emancipation from a position + of hopeless degradation, not to their religion nor to Jehovah, but to the + justice and honor of the men who have defied his commands. That she does not + crouch to-day where St. Paul tried to bind her, she owes to the men who are + grand and brave enough to ignore St. Paul, and rise superior to his God." + [Helen H. Gardener] +% +"One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible + from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at + least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts + are, of course, simply amazing. God is an extremely uneven writer, + but when He's good, nobody can touch Him." + [John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan 1983] +% +"Let me confess at once that I find something profoundly impious, almost + blasphemous, about setting limits of any sort on the power of God to bring + things about in any manner he chooses. If God creates a world of particles + and waves, dancing in obedience to mathematical and physical laws, who are + we to say that he cannot make use of those laws to cover the surface of a + small planet with living creatures? A god whose creation is so imperfect + that he must be continually adjusting it to make it work properly seems to + me a god of relatively low order, hardly worthy of any worship." + [Martin Gardner, _The Ambidextrous Universe_ pg.136] +% +"How many conservatives, who talk constantly about restoring America's + Christian heritage, have you heard mention that Washington, John Adams, + Franklin, Jefferson, and most of the other founding fathers, as well as + Lincoln, were not Christians? It was Washington who insisted that no + reference to God appear in the Constitution. "The government of the United + States," he declared, "is not in any sense founded on the Christian + religion." Jefferson produced a life of Jesus (still in print) from which + he removed all the miracles to let the heart of Jesus' teachings shine + forth. Not one of the first seven presidents professed the Christian faith." + [Martin Gardner, Foreword to "Steve Allen + on the Bible, Religion, & Morality"] +% +"The divorce between church and state ought to be absolute. It ought + to be absolute. It ought to be so absolute that no church property + anywhere, in any state, or in any nation, should be exempt from taxation, + for if you exempt the church property of any church organization, to that + extent you impose tax upon the whole community." + [US Pres. James A. Garfield, + speech to Congress, June 22, 1874] +% +"Man created God, not God, man" + [Guiseppi Garibaldi] +% +"The priest is the personification of falsehood." + [Guiseppi Garibaldi] +% +"Dear friends, -- Man has created God, not God man. Yours ever, Garibaldi." + [Guiseppi Garibaldi, entire text of letter] +% +"For life is at the start a chaos in which one is lost. The individual + suspects this, but he is frightened at finding himself face to face + with this terrible reality, and tries to cover it over with a curtain + of fantasy, where everything is clear. It does not worry him that his + "ideas" are not true, he uses them as trenches for the defense of his + existence, as scarecrows to frighten away reality." + [Jose Ortega Y Gasset] +% +"Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very + efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning." + [Bill Gates] +% +"To make the Greeks into the fathers of true civilization- the fathers, + in a word, of the first Enlightenment- was to subvert the foundations + of Christian histiography by treating man's past as a secular, not + sacred, record. The primacy of Greece meant the primacy of philosophy, + and the primacy of philosophy made nonsense of the claim that religion + was man's central concern." + [Peter Gay, "The Enlightenment - The Rise of Modern Paganism"] +% +"Eve was framed." + [Annie Laurie Gaylor] +% +"Nothing fails like prayer." + [Annie Laurie Gaylor] +% +"Superstitions typically involve seeing order where in fact there + is none, and denial amounts to rejecting evidence of regularities, + sometimes even ones that are staring us in the face." + [Murray Gell-Mann, "Quark and the Jaguar"] +% +"I would recommend that skeptics devote even more effort than they do now + to understanding the reasons why so many people want or need to believe." + [Murray Gell-Mann, "Quark and the Jaguar"] +% +"The persistence of erroneous beliefs exacerbates the widespread anachronistic + failure to recognize the urgent problems that face humanity on this planet." + [Murray Gell-Mann, "Quark and the Jaguar"] +% +"Many...freely confess that they believe what it makes them feel good to + believe. Evidence doesn't play much of a role. They are alleviating + their fear of randomness by identifying regularities that are not there." + [Murray Gell-Mann] +% +"...the only "right" a sodomite has in a + Chrisian Theocracy is the right to die." + [Dan Gentry, of Christian Research] +% +"No theory is too false, no fable too absurd, no superstition too degrading + for acceptance when it has become embedded in common belief. Men will + submit themselves to torture and to death, mothers will immolate (burn) + their children at the bidding of beliefs they thus accept." + [Henry George (1839-1897)] +% +"Against human stupidity, even the gods fight in vain." + [German Proverb] +% +"My thoughts will not cater to priest or dictator; + No person can deny, + Die Gedanken Sind Frei!" + [16th century German peasant song] +% +"It ain't necessary so, + It ain't necessarily so-- + De t'ings dat yo' li'ble + To read in de Bible-- + It ain't necessarily so. + + Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale, + Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale-- + Fo' he made his home in + Dat fish's abdomen-- + Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale. + + Methus'lah live nine hundred years, + Methus'lah live nine hundred years-- + But who calls dat livin' + When no gal'll give in + To no man what's nine hundred years? + + I'm preachin' dis sermon to show + It ain't nessa, ain't nessa, + Ain't necessarily so!" + [Ira Gershwin, part of his lyrics to the + song "It Ain't Necessarily So" (1935)] +% +"All in all, I can't say I believe in god. If, in fact, I ever find + out that he does indeed exist, I think I'll stay away from him, + because if he's responsible for half the things he gets credit for, + he's got to be one mean son of a bitch." + [Peter Gether, _A Cat Abroad_, pp. 89-90] +% +"As the happiness of a future life is the great object of religion, we may hear + without surprise or scandal that the introduction, or at least the abuse, of + Christianity had some influence on the decline and fall of the Roman empire. + The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity; + the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of + military spirit were buried in the cloister. A large portion of public and + private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and + devotion, and the soldiers' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of + both sexes who could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity. Faith, + Zeal, curiosity, and more earthly passions of malice and ambition kindled the + flame of theological factions, whose conflicts were sometimes bloody and + always implacable; the attention of the emperors was diverted from camps to + synods; the Roman world was oppressed by a new species of tyranny, and the + persecuted sects became the secret enemies of the country." + [Edward Gibbons, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman + Empire", 1781. The Roman Empire fell about 100 + years after it was converted to Christianity.] +% +"The various modes of worship which prevailed in the Roman world + were all considered by the people as equally true; by the philosopher + as equally false; and by the magistrate as equally useful." + [Edward Gibbons, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire", 1781] +% +"Of the three Popes, John the Twenty-third was the first victim; he fled and + was brought back a prisoner; the most scandalous charges were suppressed; the + Vicar of Christ was only accused of piracy, murder, rape, sodomy, and incest." + [Gibbons, _The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_] +% +"A state of skepticism and suspense may amuse a few inquisitive minds. But the + practice of superstition is so congenial to the multitude that, if they are + forcibly awakened, they still regret the loss of their pleasing vision." + [Edward Gibbons, _Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_] +% +"To swallow and follow, whether old doctrine or new + propaganda, is a weakness still dominating the human mind." + [Charlotte P. Gilman] +% +"The Roman Catholic motto is ourselves alone for fellow Roman Catholics. + We must defeat all heretics (non-Roman Catholics) at the ballot box. The + holy father states that negative tactics are fatal. The demands of the + holy father (the pope) are that the public services should be 100% Roman + Catholic soon. Care must be taken that no suspicion may be raised when + Roman Catholics are secretly given more government jobs than Protestants, + Jews, and other heretics." + [Australian Archbishop Gilroy, 1940] +% +"The Catholic Church must be the biggest corporation in the U.S. + We have a branch in almost every neighborhood. Our assets and + real estate holdings must exceed those of Standard Oil, A.T.&T, + and U.S. Steel combined. And our roster of dues-paying members + must be second only to the tax rolls of the U.S. Government." + [Father Richard Ginder, prominent Catholic priest, + in _Our Sunday Visitor_, May 22, 1960 issue] +% +"The activities engaged in by the Christian Coalition...were a vital + part of why we had a revolution at the polls on November 8, 1994." + [Newt Gingrich] +% +"God's will is directly proportional to public opinion." + [David Paul Gladden] +% +"The notion of religious liberty is that you cannot be forced + to participate in a religious ceremony that's not of your + choosing simply because you're out-voted." + [Ira Glasser, Exec. Dir.of ACLU, 1995] +% +"Just last week I saw two homosexual men at the supermarket. The + supermarket! In broad daylight! That's what you get when you + worship the creation instead of the creator." + [Rev. Terry Glidden, Washington Post, Oct. 5, 1999] +% +"...historically it is clear that the heart and + soul of anti-Semitism rested in Christianity" + [Glock & Stark, "Christian Beliefs and Anti-Semitism", + 1966, page xvi, 5-year study by Survey Research + Department of University of California] +% +Christianity, n. + A superbly-designed religion; I wouldn't dream of owning a slave who + wasn't a Christian. + [The Godling's Glossary] +% +"God gave the savior to the German people. We have faith, deep and + unshakeable faith, that he [Hitler] was sent to us by God to save German." + [Hermann Goering, from Louis L. Snyder, "Hitler's + Elite, Shocking Profiles of the Reich's Most + Notorious Henchmen", Berkley Books, 1990] +% +"The unnatural, that too is natural." + [Goethe] +% +"The happy do not believe in miracles." + [Goethe] +% +"This occupation with ideas of immortality is for people of + rank, and especially for ladies who have nothing to do. But + a man of real worth who has something to do here, and must + toil and struggle to produce day by day, leaves the future + world to itself, and is active and useful in this." + [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe] +% +"The real, the deepest, the sole theme of the world and + of history, to which all other themes are subordinate, + remains the conflict of belief and unbelief." + [Goethe] +% +"Nature and Mind! - Terms Christian ears resist! + For talk like this we burn the atheist! + Such words are full of danger and despite; + Nature means Sin, and Mind the Devil! + The two breed Doubt, misshapen evil. + Their ill-begot hermaphrodite." + [Goethe, "Faust", + Philip Wayne, Penguin Books] +% +"Here, too, it would be best you heard + One only and staked all upon your master's word. + Yes, stick to words at any rate; + There never was a surer gate + Into the temple, Certainty." + [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Faust" + Mephisto, angel of the devil, to Faust] +% +"There is nothing more odious than the majority. It consist of a + few powerful men who lead the way; of accommodating rascals and + submissive weaklings; and of a mass of men who trot after them + without in the least knowing their own minds." + [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe] +% +"Vaccination is a direct violation of the everlasting covenant that + God made with Noah after the flood.... Vaccination never saved + human life. It does not prevent smallpox." + [_The Golden Age_, (predecessor to _Awake!_), + Feb. 4, 1931 (Jehovah's Witnesses)] +% +"Religion is a superstition that originated in man's mental ability + to solve natural phenomena. The Church is an organized institution + that has always been a stumbling block to progress." + [Emma Goldman, "What I Believe"] +% +"I'm thankful I didn't believe in God, because it + would have been another thing for me to conquer." + [Kim Goldman is quoted, in reference to + her brother Ron Goldman's murder] +% +"However, on religious issures there can be little or no compromise. + There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious + beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than + Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. + But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf + should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing + throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. + They are trying to force government leaders into following their position + 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a + particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of + money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political + preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be + a moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C," and "D." Just who do + they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the + right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as + a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who + thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll + call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every + step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all + Americans in the name of "conservatism." + [Senator Barry Goldwater] +% +"I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's ass." + [Sen. Barry Goldwater, when asked what he thought of + Jerry Falwell's suggestion that all good Christians + should be against Sandra Day O'Connor's nomination + to the U.S. Supreme Court] +% +"Religious factions will go on imposing their will on others unless + the decent people connected to them recognize that religion has no + place in public policy. They must learn to make their views known + without trying to make their views the only alternatives." + [Barry Goldwater, 1981 speech] +% +"By maintaining the separation of church and state, the United + States has avoided the intolerance which has so divided the + rest of the world with religious wars" + [Barry Goldwater, 1981] +% +"If there is a God, atheism must strike Him + as less of an insult than religion." + [Edmond and Jules de Goncourt] +% +"I talk to my only friend Jesus our LORD! I know JESUS understands my + terrible desires and ect. I have tords little boys! And the main reason + I murdered them little BOYS, is because our society is so AGAINST the + fact of CHILDREN-DOING-SEX together or with anybody! I believe children + should be ABLE to do sex! And I can ARGUE that all the way to the U.S. + Supreme Court! SEX is a great GIFT that Jesus gave us all!!!!" + [Freddy Goode, serial killer, in a letter to one of his lawyers] +% +"'God works in many ways his wonders to perform.' But He's not a + skillful mechanic. A man drives over a cliff and 'by a miracle' + he only breaks his back. It would be more divine if he were a + better driver and stayed on the road." + [Paul Goodman] +% +"i don't think evolution should be taught as a fact but as a theory that + some people believe in. i don't really know about this though, i haven't + thought about it really but there's no way it should be taught as the truth." + [Mark Goodwin, on talk.origins, 10/17/1994] +% +"What we have here is religious bigotry, and it represents the same insidious + type of exclusion that I experienced growing up black in Dixie." + [Morgan State prof. Stefan Goodwin, on religious convocation + ceremonies, Washington Post, August 17, 1994] +% +"Atheism keeps an open mind and does not flinch from rejecting the + old, whenever it is a hurdle on the road towards a common humility." + [GORA, Indian atheist] +% +"I believe in serving God and trying to understand and obey God's will for + our lives. Cynics may wave the idea away, saying God is a myth, useful in + providing comfort to the ignorant and in keeping them obedient. I know in my + heart - beyond all arguing and beyond any doubt - that the cynics are wrong." + [Vice Pres. Al Gore's commencement address at Harvard, 1994] +% +"Paradise is one of the crass fictions invented by + the high priests and fathers of the church..." + [Maxim Gorki, "Culture of the People"] +% +"Can God deliver a religion addict?" + [Marjoe Gortner, Ex-Evangelist] +% +"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple + and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and + because good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be + more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our + entire intellectual heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing + honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment + to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any + general understanding of science as an enterprise?" + [Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer"] +% +"The argument that the literal story of Genesis can qualify as science + collapses on three major grounds: the creationists' need to invoke + miracles in order to compress the events of the earth's history into + the biblical span of a few thousand years; their unwillingness to + abandon claims clearly disproved, including the assertion that all + fossils are products of Noah's flood; and their reliance upon distortion, + misquote, half-quote, and citation out of context to characterize the + ideas of their opponents." + [Stephen Jay Gould, "The Verdict on Creationism", + The Skeptical Inquirer, Winter 87/88, pg. 186] +% +"In science, "fact" can only mean "confirmed to such a degree that + it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent." I suppose that + apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not + merit equal time in physics classrooms." + [Stephen J. Gould] +% +"When people learn no tools of judgment and merely follow + their hopes, the seeds of political manipulation are sown." + [Stephen Jay Gould] +% +"Nothing is more dangerous than a dogmatic worldview-- + nothing more constraining, more blinding to innovation, + more destructive of openness to novelty." + [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"] +% +"The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only + common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal + after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos." + [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"] +% +"Creationist critics often charge that evolution cannot be tested, + and therefore cannot be viewed as a properly scientific subject + at all. This claim is rhetorical nonsense." + [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"] +% +"Our creationist detractors charge that evolution is an unproved and + unprovable charade-- a secular religion masquerading as science. They + claim, above all, that evolution generates no predictions, never + exposes itself to test, and therefore stands as dogma rather than + disprovable science. This claim is nonsense. We make and test risky + predictions all the time; our success is not dogma, but a highly + probable indication of evolution's basic truth." + [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"] +% +"No rational order of divine intelligence unites species. The natural + ties are genealogical along contingent pathways of history." + [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"] +% +"We are here because one odd group of fishes had a peculiar fin anatomy + that could transform into legs for terrestrial creatures; because the + earth never froze entirely during an ice age; because a small and + tenuous species, arising in Africa a quarter of a million years ago, + has managed, so far, to survive by hook and by crook. We may yearn for + a 'higher' answer---but none exists." + [Stephen Jay Gould, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, + Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by + James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"The fundamentalists, by 'knowing' the answers before they start + (examining evolution), and then forcing nature into the straitjacket + of their discredited preconceptions, lie outside the domain of + science---or of any honest intellectual inquiry." + [Stephen Jay Gould, "Bully for Brontosaurus," 1990, quoted in + "2000 Years of Disbelief, Famous People with the Courage to + Doubt", by James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996] +% +"Skepticism's bad rap arises from the impression that, however necessary the + activity, it can only be regarded as a negative removal of false claims. + Not so... Proper debunking is done in the interest of an alternate model of + explanation, not as a nihilistic exercise. The alternate model is rationality + itself, tied to moral decency--the most powerful joint instrument for good + that our planet has ever known." + [Stephen Jay Gould, from Michael Shermer, "Why People + Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition & + Other Confusions of Our Time, p. xii)] +% +"As in 1925, creationists are not battling for religion. They have been + disowned by leading church men of all persuasions, for they debase religion + even more than they misconstrue science. They are a motley collection to + be sure, but their core of practical support lies with the evangelical + right, and creationism is a mere stalking horse or subsidiary issue in a + political program...The enemy is not fundamentalism; it is intolerance. + In this case, the intolerance is perverse since it masquerades under the + 'liberal' rhetoric of 'equal time'." + [Stephen J Gould] +% +"God is not all that exists. God is all that does not exist." + [Remy de Gourmont (1858-1915) French + novelist, critic, philosopher] +% +"Religions revolve madly around sexual questions." + [Remy de Gourmont] +% +"I think when a person has been found guilty of rape + he should be castrated. That would stop him pretty quick." + [Billy Graham, 1974] +% +"Let us realize that priests are not revealers of truth but only keepers + of traditions, and that the purpose of both the scribes and their later + translators was not to reveal the truth but to lay the basis of a + theistic religion, based on the supernatural and the terrifying." + [Lloyd Graham, "Deceptions and Myths of the Bible"] +% +"Nobody ever told us you had to be religious." + [Nancy Grambo, whose son Buzz Grambo was + kicked out of the BSA Southern Maryland + Troop 427, for his lack of religious belief] +% +"Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church + and the private schools, supported entirely by private + contributions. Keep the church and state forever separated." + [Ulysses S. Grant, speech to the Army of + the Tennessee, Des Moines,Iowa, 1875] +% +"I would suggest the taxation of all property + equally whether church or corporation." + [Ulysses S. Grant (1822-1885)] +% +"I would like to call your attention to ... an evil that, if allowed + to continue, will probably lead to great trouble.... It is the + accumulation of vast amounts of untaxed church property." + [Ulysses S. Grant] +% +"The fires of truth usually require much time to burn their way through + those incrustations of moral and religious error which often environ + the human mind as the products of a false education. But when they + once enter, the work of convincement is complete." + [Kersey Graves] +% +"Christs soldiers fight best on their knees" + [Brig. General Green, ACMTC] +% +"There is no other book between whose covers life is so cheap." + [Ruth Hurmence Green, "The Born Again + Skeptic's Guide to the Bible"] +% +"There was a time when religion ruled the + world. It was known as The Dark Ages." + [Ruth Hurmence Green] +% +"It is the position of some theists that their right to + freedom OF religion is abridged when they are not allowed + to violate the Rationalists right to freedom FROM religion." + [James T. Green, jgreen@trumpet.calpoly.edu] +% +"Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought." + [Graham Greene, 1981] +% +"Faith is the antithesis of proof." + [NY State Supreme Court Justice + Edward J. Greenfield, 1995] +% +"This is not an attack on the First Amendment rights of people who + believe in faith healing. We just don't believe the First Amendment + allows them to inflict their views upon their children and let them + die from such things as infections, when one quick trip to a doctor + would cure the problem. Children should not have to die to uphold + the religious beliefs of their parents." + [Scott Greenwood, Children's Healthcare Is a Legal Duty (CHILD)] +% +"When you arrive in a city, summon the bishops, clergy and people, + and preach a solemn sermon on faith; then select certain men of + good repute to help you in trying the heretics and suspects denounced + before your tribunal. All who on examination are found guilty or + suspected of heresy must promise to absolutely obey the commands of + the Church. If they refuse, you must prosecute them." + [Pope Gregory I, order to the Dominicans + on their duties in the Inquisition, 1231] +% +"I don't care anything about the separation of church and state" + [Rev. Ron Griffin, pres. of Detroit Urban League, on Gov. + Engler's plan to use churches to deliver state services. + Oct 18, 1995, Detroit Free Press, article by Dawson Bell] +% +"In fact, if Christ himself stood in my way, I, like + Nietzsche, would not hesitate to squish him like a worm." + [Che Guevara] +% +"Never wage war on religion, nor upon seemingly holy institutions, + for this thing has too great a force upon the minds of fools." + [Francesco Guicciardini, "Ricordi Politici"] +% +"When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell "Stop!" + to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind. Then + recite a portion of the Bible or sing a hymn." + [Mormon _Guide to Self-Control_] +% +"It has often been repeated that the abolition of slavery among modern people + is entirely due to Christians. That, I think, is saying too much. Slavery + existed for a long period in the heart of Christian society, without its + being particularly astonished or irritated. A multitude of causes, and a + great development in other ideas and principles of civilization, were + necessary for the abolition of this iniquity of all iniquities." + [Francois-Pierre-Guillaume Guizot (1787-1874), French historian + and statesman, in "European Civilization," vol. I., p.110] +% +"What does every religion lay claim to? The governance of human passions + and of human will. Every religion is a curb, a power, a government. It + comes in the name of divine law to subdue human nature. Therefore human + liberty is its especial antagonist, which it is its object to vanquish. + To this purpose are its mission and hope directed." + [Francois-Pierre-Guillaume Guizot (1787-1874), + French historian and statesman] +% +"I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed + because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do." + [D. Dale Gulledge] +% +"School vouchers as proposed by Reagan and Bush do not represent free market + competition. The reason is fairly simple. The source of the money is not + the consumers. The vouchers are paid for by tax dollars. School vouchers + are an attempt to breach the separation of church and state by allowing + individuals who are not constrained by the prohibition against Congress + passing laws respecting religion to spend tax dollars for the benefit of + the religion of their choice. + + I have no objection to parents sending their children to the school of + their choice. The problem with public funding of schools is that it is an + inherently collectivist system. The restraints that have been placed on + what public schools must teach and what they are prohibited from teaching + protect us to a limited extend from the full magnitude of the damage that + they have the potential to do if used as a propaganda tool. + + I have never granted that anyone else rightfully has the freedom to choose + how my money will be spent. The only difference between that and slavery is + that the masters do not have the authority to beat, sell, or kill me if I + choose not to work. Send your children to schools that brainwash them any + way that you wish. But do not insist on paying for it with money taken + from me by taxation." + [D. Dale Gulledge (ddg@cci.com)] +% +"It is probably safe to say that since the late 1960s, nearly every + major religious group in the country has tried to get some offending + TV material altered or banned. So has every racial minority group and + almost every important national-ethnic group." + [Max Gunther, in _TV Guide_ article, February 9, 1974] +% +"A rational thought a day keeps religion away" + [Matt Guttentag] +% +"We must conduct research and then accept the results. If they don't + stand up to experimentation, Buddha's own words must be rejected." + [Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama, _Time_ April 11, 1988] +% +"I believe that at every level of society--familial, tribal, national and + international--the key to a happier and more succesful world is the growth + of compassion. We do not need to become religious, nor do we need to believe + in an ideology. All that is necessary is for each of us to develop our good + human qualities. I try to treat whoever I meet as an old friend. This gives + me a genuine feeling of happiness. It is the practice of compassion." + [Tenzin Gyatso, The XIVth Dalai Lama] +% +"As soon as you are willing to discard observational data because it conflicts + with religion, you are giving up any hope of ever really understanding the + universe. As soon as you pick religion as the touchstone of reality, then we + have to start discussing how one can demonstrate the correctness of one + religion over another when different *religions* disagree." + --Wilson Heydt (whheydt@PacBell.COM) + + "The answer is simple: kill the heretics. History shows us that + this is the actual solution that competing religions apply -- trial + by combat or trial by ordeal. God is the final arbiter. What a sad + waste of human potential it has proven to be." + [Paul Hager (hagerp@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu)] +% +"Humans can find a pattern in just about anything, and we must find such + a pattern if we are to comprehend things. Mightn't people be mistaking + this order imposed by the human mind for order caused by God?" + [J J Hahn (hahn0009@gold.tc.umn.edu) on alt.atheism] +% +"Religion is still parasitic in the interstices of our knowledge which + have not yet been filled. Like bed-bugs in the cracks of walls and + furniture, miracles lurk in the lacunae of science. The scientist + plasters up these cracks in our knowledge; the more militant Rationalist + swats the bugs in the open. Both have their proper sphere and they + should realize that they are allies." + [John Haldane, "Science and Life: Essays of a Rationalist"] +% +"Scientific education and religious education are incompatible. The clergy + have ceased to interfere with education at the advanced state, with which + I am directly concerned, but they have still got control of that of + children. This means that the children have to learn about Adam and Noah + instead of about Evolution; about David who killed Goliath, instead of Koch + who killed cholera; about Christ's ascent into heaven instead of + Montgolfier's and Wright's. Worse than that, they are taught that it is + a virtue to accept statements without adequate evidence, which leaves them + a prey to quacks of every kind in later life, and makes it very difficult + for them to accept the methods of thought which are successful in science." + [J. B. S. Haldane] +% +"My practise as a scientist is atheistic. That is to say, when I set up an + experiment I assume that no god, angel, or devil is going to interfere with + its course; and this assumption has been justified by such success as I have + achieved in my professional career. I should therefore be intellectually + dishonest if I were not also atheistic in the affairs of the world. And I + should be a coward if I did not state my theoretical views in public." + [J. B. S. Haldane, cited by L. Beverly Halstead in his article + "Evolution -- the Fossils Say Yes!" in _Science and Creationism_, + edited by Ashley Montagu [Oxford U. Press, 1984] page 241)] +% +"The influences that have lifted the race to a higher moral level are + education, freedom, leisure, the humanizing tendency of a better-supplied + and more interesting life. In a word, science and liberalism- the two + forces, fundamentally skeptical, that we have seen continuously at work + in human progress- have accomplished the very things for which religion + claims the credit." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Outline of Bunk"] +% +"After all, the principle objection which a thinking man has to + religion is that religion is not true -- and is not even sane." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"The fear of gods and devils is never anything but a pitiable + degradation of the human mind." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"This question is put to Christians who believe that the Bible unerringly + describes God and reports the commands and the characteristics of God. If + there is a God, it is natural that we should wish to be quite correct in + our understanding of that God's nature. So, we ask: Can and does God lie? + + Looking this point up in the mazes of Holy Writ, we discover confusion. In + Numbers xxiii, 19, we are told: "God is not a man, that he should lie." + This is put even mere strongly in Hebrews vi, 18, where we read: "It was + impossible for God to lie." + + But do these citations settle the matter? Ah, no, we are upset in, our + calculations the moment we turn to 2 Thessalonians ii, 11, where we read: + "For this cause God shall send them strong delusions, that they should + believe a lie." And in I Kings xxii, 23, God is thus reported: "Now, + therefore, behold, the Lord hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of all + these thy prophets, and the Lord hath spoken evil concerning thee." + + Can God lie? Can the Bible lie? Anyway, there is a mistake + somewhere. The big mistake is in entertaining the idea of a God." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"When we read that some minor scientist (usually a skilled technical worker + but not a thinker in science) has "found God" somewhere, we are not excited. + We know this is only a form of words, meaning only that the scientific worker, + turning away from science, has rediscovered the stale old assumption of + theology, "There is a God." We find invariably (as we should expect) that + there is no satisfactory definition or description or identification or + location or proof of a God. "God" is merely a word, whether it is used by a + preacher or a mystic in a laboratory." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"The fact that millions of people still believe in a hell of eternal punishment + for sinners and unbelievers is a drastic reminder of the need for persistent, + progressive education of the masses. We have as yet only begun to realize the + possibilities of progress. But science, rationalism and humanism have pointed + the way, they have taken the first great steps, and we must keep right + ahead on the highway of modernism." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Don't take our word for it. Read the Bible itself. Read the + statements of preachers. And you will understand that God is the + most desperate character, the worst villain in all fiction." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Commonly, those who have professed the strongest motives of love of a + God have demonstrated the deepest hatred toward human joy and liberty." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Theism tells men that they are the slaves of a God. Atheism + assures men that they are the investigators and users of nature." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Belief in gods and belief in ghosts is identical. God is taken + as a more respectable word than ghost, but it means no more." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Religion, throughout the greater part of its history, has been a form of + "holy" terrorism. It still aims its terrors at men, but modern realism + and the spread of popular enlightenment has progressively robbed those + terrors of their old-fashioned effectiveness. Wherever men take religion + very seriously -- wherever there is devout belief -- there is also the + inseparable feeling of fear." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Christian theology has taught men that they should submit with + unintelligent resignation to the worst real evils of life and waste + their time in consideration of imaginary evils in "the life to come." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Priests and preachers have tricked, terrified and exploited + mankind. They have lied for glory of God." They have collected + immense financial tribute for "the glory of God." Whatever may be + said about the character of individuals among the clergy, the + character of the profession as a whole has been distinctly and + drastically anti-human. And of course the most sincere among the + clergy have been the most dangerous, for they have been willing to + go to the most extreme lengths of intolerance for "the glory of God." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Perhaps religion might be dismissed as unimportant if it were + merely theoretical. If it were merely theoretical. It is difficult, + however, if not impossible to separate theory and practice. + Religion, to be sure, is full of inconsistencies between theory and + practice; but there is and has always been sternly and largely a + disposition of religion to enforce its theory in the conduct of + life; religion has meant not simply dogmatism in abstract thinking + but intolerance in legal and social action. Religion interferes + with life and, being false, it necessarily interferes very much to + the detriment of the sound human interests of life." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"For centuries men have fought in the most unusual and devious + ways to prove the existence of a God. But evidently a God, if there + were a God, has been hiding out. He has never been discovered or + proved. One would think a God, if any, should have revealed himself + unmistakably. Isn't this non-appearance of a God (the non- + appearance of a God in the shape of a single bit of evidence for + his existence) a pretty, strong, sufficient proof of non-existence?" + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"A God of love, a God of wrath, a God of jealousy, a God of + bigotry, a God of vulgar tirades, a God of cheating and lying -- + yes, the Christian God is given all of these characteristics, and + isn't it a wretched mess to be offered to men in this twentieth + century? The beginning of wisdom, the beginning of humanism, the + beginning of progress is the rejection of this absurd, + extravagantly impossible myth of a God." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Look at the God idea from any angle, and it is foolish, it doesn't make sense, + but extravagantly proposes more mysteries than it assumes to explain. For + instance, is it sensible that a real God would leave mankind in such confusion + and debate about his character and his laws? + + There have been many alleged revelations of God. There have, indeed, been many + Gods as there have been many Bibles. And in different ages and different lands + an endless game of guessing and disputing has gone on. Men have argued blindly + about God. They still argue -- just as blindly. + + And if there is a God, we must conclude that he has willfully left men in the + dark. He has not wanted men to know about him. Assuming his existence, then + it would follow that he would have perfect ability to give a complete and + universal explanation of himself, so that all men could see and know without + further uncertainty. A real God could exhibit himself clearly to all men and + have all men following his will to the last letter without a doubt or a slip. + + But when we examine even cursorily the many contradictory revelations of God, + the many theories and arguments, the many and diverse principles of piety, we + perceive that all this talk about God his been merely the natural floundering + of human ignorance. + + There has been no reality in the God idea which men could discover and agree + upon. The spectacle has been exactly what we should expect when men deal with + theories of something which does not exist. + + Hidden Gods -- no Gods -- all we see is man's poor guesswork." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"... the Bible was a collection of books written at different times by + different men -- a strange mixture of diverse human documents -- and a + tissue of irreconcilable notions. Inspired? The Bible is not even + intelligent. It is not even good craftsmanship, but is full of + absurdities and contradictions." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"A sober, devout man will interpret "God's will" soberly and + devoutly. A fanatic, with bloodshot mind, will interpret "God's + will" fanatically. Men of extreme, illogical views will interpret + "God's will" in eccentric fashion. Kindly, charitable, generous men + will interpret "God's will" according to their character." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Remember that millions of Christians still base their belief in a God + upon the words of the Bible, which is a collection of the most + flabbergasting fictions ever imagined -- by men, too, who had lawless + but very poor and crude imagination. Ingersoll and numerous other + critics have shot the Christian holy book full of holes. It is worthless + and proves nothing concerning the existence of a God. The idea of a God + is worthless and unprovable." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Talk of God leads by a direct road to the conclusion of + atheism. The only sensible attitude is to dismiss the idea of God + -- to get it out of the way of more important ideas. The wide + dissemination of this intelligent atheistic attitude is one of the + leading features of any program of popular education which is + completely worthy of the name." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"With its fears and superstitions and prejudices, religion + poisons the mind of any one who believes in it -- and even the best + man, under the influence of religion, cannot reason wholesomely. + Atheism, on the contrary, opens the mind to the clean winds of + truth and establishes a fresh-air sanity." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Nobody has ever taken notable pains to locate the legendary heaven; but + probably that is because nobody ever thought seriously of going to a heaven." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"A few weeks ago a hurricane struck the little religious community of Bethany, + Okla. A number of pious citizens of the little town were killed. Houses were + destroyed -- homes in which prayer and devotion reigned. A church was + demolished. + + Only a few miles away is the large, wicked city of Oklahoma City -- at least + we can certainly assume that, from the religious viewpoint, many sinners live + in Oklahoma City. Assuming also (which is a great deal riskier assumption) + that there is a God, why should he perpetrate this grim and sardonic joke? + The sinners in the big city were left untouched. The godly folk in the little + nearby village were punished by the evidences of God's wrath. How do the + religious people interpret this calamity? Often and often they explain such + calamities as flood, fire and storm by saying that God is angry at the sinful + people and is warning them or destroying them for their sins. Was the + hurricane in Bethany a sign of the love of God for his faithful worshipers? + + And God missed an even better chance, if there were a God who wished to punish + rebels against his majesty and inscrutability. Just a few hundred miles north + and east of Bethany, Okla., is Girard -- the home of The American Freeman: and + The Debunker and The Joseph McCabe Magazine and the Little Blue Books -- the + center of American free thought where an enormous stream of atheistic + literature and. godless modern knowledge pours forth to enlighten the masses. + If there were a God directing hurricanes and he wanted to really "get" an + uncompromising foe, whom he has no chance of persuading in the ordinary way, + it would have been a devastating stroke for him to send his howling punitive + blasts through the town of Girard. It would be a more remarkable suggestion + of the avenging act of a God if only the Haldeman-Julius plant were destroyed + and the rest of the town left unhurt -- and, as good neighbors, we shouldn't + wish the Christian and respectable, people of Girard nor those who are + respectable and not so Christian nor those who are Christian and not exactly + respectable to suffer from our proximity and our propaganda of atheism. + + Is God a joker? No -- let us whisper it -- the joke is that there is no God. + Hurricanes come upon the just and the unjust, the pious and the impious." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"To be true to the mythical conception of a God is to be false + to the interests of mankind." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Credulity is not a crime for the individual -- but it is clearly a crime as + regards the race. Just look at the actual consequences of credulity. For + years men believed in the foul superstition of witchcraft and many poor + people suffered for this foolish belief. There was a general belief in angels + and demons, flying familiarly, yet skittishly through the air, and that belief + caused untold distress and pain and tragedy. The most holy Catholic church + (and, after it, the various Protestant sects) enforced the dogma that heresy + was terribly sinful and punishable by death. Imagine -- but all you need do + is to recount -- the suffering entailed by that belief. + + When one surveys the causes and consequences of credulity, it is apparent + that this easy believer in the impossible, this readiness toward false and + fanatical notions, has been indeed a most serious and major crime against + humanity. The social life in any age, it may be said, is about what its extent + of credulity guarantees. In an extremely credulous age, social life will be + cruel and dark and treacherous. in a skeptical age, social life will be more + humane. We assert that the philosophy of humanity -- that the best interests + of the human race -- demand a strong statement and a repeated, enlightening + statement of atheism." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Is God fair? The Christians say that God damns forever anyone who is skeptical + about truth of bunkistic religion as revealed unto the holy haranguers. What + this means is that a God, if any, punishes a man for using his reason. + + If there is a God in existence, reasons should be available for his + existence. Assuming that such a precious thing as a man's eternal future + depends on his belief in a God, then the materials for that belief + should be overwhelming and not at all doubtful. + + Yet here is a man whose reason makes it impossible for him to believe in + a God. He sees no evidence of such an entity. He finds all the arguments + weak and worthless. He doubts and he denies. + + Then is a God fair in visiting upon such a skeptic the penalty for his + inevitable intellectual attitude? The intelligent man refuses to believe + fairy tales. Can a God blame him? If so, then a God is not as fair as an + ordinarily decent man. And fairness, we think, is more important than piety." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"Faith," said St. Paul, "is the evidence of things not seen." We should + elaborate this definition by adding that faith is the assertion of things for + which there is not a particle of evidence and of things which are incredible." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"] +% +"The church has contributed nothing to civilization. It has progressed + somewhat, and it has become a little more decent, in reflection of the + movements of civilization that have taken place outside of the church + and usually in the face of the strong opposition of the church. But the + church has always resisted the process of civilization. It has struggled + to the last ditch, by fair means and foul, to preserve as long as it + could the vestiges of ancient and medieval theology, with all the + puerile moralities and harsh customs and medieval styles of belief." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"Why should an atheist pay more taxes so that a church which he + despises should pay no taxes? That's a fair question. How can the + apologists for the church exemption answer it? + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"The churches beg -- and if we don't give them money, why, they + take it anyway, forcibly, by means of this unjust state tax exemption." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"The churches can well afford to pay fair taxation. But + supposing they couldn't. Would not that be a very significant + evidence that the churches were not really wanted?" + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"How can a preacher talk with a straight face about political graft? + He is, himself, profiting by one of the most notorious + political grafts in this country." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"Why should the residence of a preacher be untaxed? Useful citizens must pay + taxes on their homes. Yet the Preacher -- actually and notoriously the least + useful member of the community -- lives in a tax-free dwelling." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"Would you tax God?" asks a defender of church tax exemption. Well, if there + were a God he should be able to pay his own way and support his own business. + If not, then he should do like other business men and close up shop." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"Church tax exemption means that we all drop our money in the collection boxes, + whether we go to church or not and whether we are interested in the church or + not. It is systematic and complete robbery, from which none of us escapes." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"It is an absurd fiction that the churches are useful. They are + nothing more than propaganda centers for superstitious faiths and + doctrines. Church members have a right to believe in and propagate + their various doctrines. But they should pay every item of the + cost, of this propaganda, including fair taxation for all church property." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"There can be no perfect freedom unless the church and state are separated. + But the church and state are not separated in America so long as the state + grants a subsidy to the church in the form of tax exemption." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"Is a church too small and too poor to pay taxes? That means + that not enough people want the church seriously enough to pay for + its upkeep. Then, why should such a church exist? Why should + atheists, agnostics and non-churchgoers be forced to maintain such + a useless, unwanted church by granting it tax exemption?" + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"Martyrs have been sincere. And so have tyrants. Wise men have + been sincere. And so have fools." + [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden, + Not a Benefit, In Social Life"] +% +"...it is my measured opinion - after thirty-five years of study - that + religion is all bad, without a single good feature. And, of course, that + means I don't go gunning after "certain religious denominations" but send + my gas bombs into the whole kit and kaboodle. It's part of my philosophy + that the world would be a better place for all of us if we managed to get + rid of the mental disease called religion." + [E. Haldeman-Julius] +% +"The Bible nowhere prohibits war... Although war was raging in the + world in the time of Christ and His Apostles, still they said not + a word of its unlawfulness and immorality." + [Henry Wagner Halleck, "Military Art and Science," 1846] +% +"According to Sumerian traditions, more or less closely echoed by those in + Akkadian, Hebrew, and Greek (Berossos), the great Flood was preceded by + eight to ten long-lived kings (variously: generations of men) who ruled in + five cities, beginning with Eridu on the shores of the great salt-water + lagoon connecting to the Persian Gulf, and reaching as far north as Sippar + in what was later called Akkad. The First seven antediluvians are linked + with seven apkallu's (semidivine sages), beginning with Uanna-Adapa, who + passed into Greek sources as Oannes and into Genesis as Adam" + [William W. Hallo and William Kelly Simpson, "The Ancient Near + East: A History", Harcourt Brace: Orlando, 1998, p. 29] +% +"In the earlies Sumerian version, he appears as Ubar-Tutu, 'friend of the + god Tutu,' or as Ziusudra, 'life of long days.' Later he is simply (and + perhaps erroneously) called after his city, Shuruppak. The earliest Akkadian + sources call him Atar-hasis, 'exceeding wise,' while the later ones, + incorporated in the canonical Gilgamesh epic, refer to him as Uta-napishtam, + 'he has found (everlasting) life.' In the Bible his name is Noah" + [William W. Hallo and William Kelly Simpson, "The Ancient Near + East: A History", Harcourt Brace: Orlando, 1998, p. 32] +% +"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves + you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most + awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." + [Butch Hancock] +% +"Heretics have been hated from the beginning of recorded time; they + have been ostracized, exiled, tortured, maimed and butchered; but it + has generally proved impossible to smother them; and when it has not, + the society that has succeeded has always declined." + [Learned Hand, Address] +% +"We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff + at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me." + [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"] +% +"If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope + He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting." + [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"] +% +"My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we + get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I + guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to + Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him." + [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"] +% +"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell + him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another + cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'" + [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"] +% +"When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! + We're rich! But it turned out to be something different." + [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"] +% +"But only fools like me you see, + Can make a god, who makes a tree." + [E. Y. Harburg, parody + of Joyce Kilmer's poem] +% +"The god who is reputed to have created fleas to keep dogs from moping over + their situation must also have created fundamentalists to keep rationalists + from getting flabby. Let us be duly thankful for out blessings." + [Garrett Hardin, in "Science and Creationism, ed. Ashley Montague] +% +"That which is unchallenged and exercised as habit + rapidly becomes ritual. When this occurs, dissent + becomes an object of surprise, if not resentment." + [B. Carmon Hardy] +% +"I have been looking for god for fifty years and I think + if he had existed I should have discovered him." + [Thomas Hardy] +% +"`Peace upon earth!` was said. We sing it, + And pay a million priests to bring it. + After two thousand years of mass + We`ve got as far as poison gas," + [Thomas Hardy, + 'Christmas:1924'] +% +"We enter church, and we have to say, 'We have erred and strayed from Thy + ways like lost sheep," when what we want to say is, "Why are we made to + err and stray like lost sheep?' Then we have to sing, 'My soul doth magnify + the Lord,' when what we want to sing is 'O that my soul could find some + Lord that it could magnify!'" + [Thomas Hardy (1840-1928), English novelist, poet. Note, Jan. 1907] +% +"The Puritan through Life's sweet garden goes + To pluck the thorn and cast away the rose." + [Kenneth Hare] +% +"Nothing could be more anti-Biblical than letting women vote." + [Editorial, Harper's Magazine, November 1853] +% +"Religion; humanity's greatest folly, greatest curse." + [Kevin Harris] +% +"...Jesus was not as peaceful as commonly believed, and that his actual + teachings did not represent a fundamental break with the tradition of + Jewish military messianism. A strong pro-zealot-bandit and anti-Roman + bias probably pervaded his original ministry. The decisive break with the + Jewish messianic tradition probably came about only after the fall of + Jerusalem, when the original politico-military components in Jesus' + teachings were purged by Jewish Christians living in Rome and other + cities of the empire as an adaptive response to the Roman victory." + [Marvin Harris, anthropologist, _Cows, Pigs, Wars and Witches_] +% +"Jesus is just a word I use to swear with" + [Richard Harris] +% +"Perhaps the most important advance in the behavioral sciences in our times + has been the growing recognition that the perceiver is not just a passive + camera taking a picture, but takes an active part in perception. He sees + what experience has conditioned him to see. What perceiver then sees what + is really there? Nobody of course. Each of perceives what our past has + prepared us to perceive. We select and distinguish, we focus on some objects + and relationships and we blur others. We distort objective reality to make + it conform to our needs our, or hopes, or fears, or hates, or envies or + affections. Our eyes and brains do not merely register some objective + portrait of other persons or groups but our very active scene is warped by + what we have been taught to believe, by what we want to believe and by what + we need to believe. It is impossible to reason a man out of something he + has not been reasoned into. When people have acquired their beliefs on an + emotional level they cannot be persuaded out of them on a rational level. + No matter how strong the proof or the logic behind it, people will hold onto + their emotional beliefs and twist the facts to meet their version of reality." + [Sidney J. Harris] +% +"The fact is the Mormon people do not govern themselves. Always the + Mormon leaders have claimed the prerogative to think for, and direct the + Mormon people in all things. As late as June 1945, the General + Authorities' Ward Teachers' Message, as carried by the 'Deseret News' of + May 26, 1945, and the 'Improvement Era' of June 1945, page 354, stated: + + "'When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. When they + propose a plan-it is God's plan. When they point the way, there + is no other that is safe. When they give direction, it should + mark the end of controversy. God works in no other way.'" + [G. T. Harrison, "Mormons are a Peculiar + People", Vantage Press, 1954, (pp. ix)] +% +"The barbaric religions of primitive worlds hold not a germ of scientific + fact, though they claim to explain all. Yet if one of these savages has + all the logical ground for his beliefs taken away, he doesn't stop + believing. He then calls his mistaken beliefs 'faith' because he knows + they are right. And he knows they are right because he has faith." + [Harry Harrison, Jason dinAlt character, + Deathworld, Berkeley Medallion Edition, 1976] +% + Only the Priests 'Date' Young + (to the tune of "Only the Good + Die Young" by Billy Joel) + +Come out Father +Don't make us wait +You Catholic Priests want boys to date +But sooner or later you'll be charged by the State +For things that you may have done. + +Well they told you that its a sin to be gay +They told you to kneel but only to pray +But they never told you the price that you pay +For sexual repression +Only the Priests date young. + +You got a nice black dress and a party on your ordination +All the wafers you can eat +And free treatment at the Paraclete * +But they don't even permit you to engage in masturbation +Soon the alter boys +They start to look like toys +whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa + +You told the parents all you'd give 'em was an education +You told 'em you'd take care of 'em +But did you even use a condom? +No, No, No, No + + + (* Brothers of the Paraclete is a treatment + center in Arizona for pedophilic priests) + + [Harry the Heretic] +% + +Jesus Hates the Little Children + + +Jesus hates the little children +All the little children of the poor. +Skin and bone, covered with flies +Jesus cheers as each one dies +Jesus hates the children of the poor. + +Jesus starves the little children +All the hungry children of the world. +If he really was pure good +He'd make sure they had some food +Jesus starves the children of the world. + +Jesus hates the little children +All the little children of Bhagdad. +Even though they're not to blame +They are dying just the same +Jesus hates the children of Bhagdad. + +Jesus hates the little children +All the little children born with AIDS. +Even while he's giving breath +He's condemning them to death +Jesus hates the children born with AIDS. + +Jesus hates the little children +All the little children raped buy priests. +Sunday schoolers, alter boys +Jesus rewards priests with toys +Jesus hates the children raped by priests. + +Jesus hates the little children +That's why he wants more to abuse +He's opposed to birth control +No abortion is his goal +Jesus wants more children to abuse. + +Jesus hates the little children +All the little children of the poor +They've got hunger and disease +In the winter they can freeze +Jesus hates the children of the poor + + [Harry the Heretic] +% + + A Christmas Ditty + +I.... saw Jesus kissing Santa Claus +Underneath a Unicorn last night. +He is the Son of God +Or else he is a fraud +But I thought it very funny +When he fucked the Easter Bunny + +I.... saw Jesus kissing Santa Claus +While Leprechauns and Jackalopes did fight +I thank the Tooth Fairy +That Jehovah didn't see +Jesus kissing Santa Claus + + [Harry the Heretic] +% +"America's problem isn't that we suffer from a + lack of faith, but from a saturation of it." + [James L. Hartley] +% +"The problem is that Americans don't recognized there are other moral forces + outside the world of immaterial gods. Morality can be derived from reason + and rational thought. It can be based on our relationship to each other, + instead of our relationship to a god no one can see. Religion isn't morality. + A lack of faith isn't immorality. When Americans can recognize that, when + we recognize our human power to solve our human problems instead of counting + on a god to fix it, maybe we will gain a better understanding of just what + it means to be moral." + [James L. Hartley] +% +"It was, after all, Christianity itself which tutored the Western mind to + believe that it should know the truth and the truth would make it free. + But now that the student has learned to prize the truth, he has discovered, + with pain both to himself and his teacher, that it can only be gained at + the cost of rejecting the one who first instilled in him the love of it." + [Van A. Harvey] +% +"Mark's declaration that Jesus came from the dispersion (nazareth), meaning + the worldwide community of Jews outside Judaea (equivalent to diaspora), + was misinterpreted by Matthew and Luke to mean that he came from a city + called Nazareth [to fulfill prophesy]. In fact the term nazarite, or + nazoraios, had nothing to do with any city of Nazareth, since no such place + existed until the fifth century CE when one was built by a Christian Emperor + to whom the nonexistence of Jesus' alleged hometown was an embarrassment. + (Although the site of Nazareth was occupied in the first century, there is + no evidence of any village named Nazareth earlier than the fifth century....)" + [William Harwood, _Mythology's Last Gods: + Yahweh and Jesus_ (Prometheus), p. 260] +% +"Businesses may come and go, but religion will last forever, for in no + other endeavor does the consumer blame himself for product failure." + [Harvard Lamphoon, "Doon" (paraphrase)] +% +"I understand prayer quite well. It's a masturbatory exercise that + gives catharsis to the pray-er and a placebo effect to the pray-ee, + but only if the pray-ee knows he's being prayed for." + [John Hattan] +% +"From a religious view, putting the (Ten Commandments) in a courtroom is + idolatry. It constructs a god, not the God of Israel or Jesus Christ, but + a god that is useful to us, because it gives us the illusion that we + really do have this deep agreement, when we don't." + [Stanley Hauerwas, Gilbert T. Rowe professor of theological ethics at + Duke Divinity School, in ABC news article "Display This!" 4-30-98] +% +"In another area of human rights, many Christian clergymen advocated + slavery. Historian Larry Hise notes in his book 'Pro-Slavery' that + ministers 'wrote almost half of all defenses of slavery published + in America.' He lists 275 men of the cloth who used the Bible to prove + that white people were entitled to own black people as work animals." + [James A. Haught, 'Holy Horrors', 1990] +% +"Obviously, religion has a Jekyll-and-Hyde nature-- with Dr. + Jekyll always in the spotlight, and Mr. Hyde little noticed." + [James A. Haught, "Horrors of History"] +% +"In the year 415, the woman scientist Hypatia, head of the legendary + Alexandria library, was beaten to death by Christian monks who considered + her a pagan. The leader of the monks, Cyril, was canonized a saint." + [James A. Haught, Free Inquiry (Winter 1996/1997)] +% +"The stronger the supernatural beliefs, the worse the inhumanity" + [James A. Haught] +% +"In 1583 at Vienna, a 16 year old girl suffered stomach cramps. A team of + Jesuits exorcised her for eight weeks. The announced that they had expelled + 12,652 demons from her, demons her grandmother had kept as flies in glass + jars. The grandmother was tortured into confessing she was a witch who had + engaged in sex with Satan. Then she was burned at the stake. This was one + of perhaps 1 million such executions during three centuries of witch-hunts." + [James A. Haught, "Holy Horrors," 1990] +% +"A profound irony of the witch-hunts is that they were directed, not by + superstitious savages, but by learned bishops, judges, professors, and + other leaders of society. The centuries of witch obsession demonstrated + the terrible power of supernatural beliefs." + [James A. Haught, "Holy Horrors," 1990] +% +"God not only plays dice. He sometimes + throws the dice where they cannot be seen." + [Stephen Hawking] +% +"What I have done is to show that it is possible for the way the universe + began to be determined by the laws of science. In that case, it would + not be necessary to appeal to God to decide how the universe began. + This doesn't prove that there is no God, only that God is not necessary." + [Stephen W. Hawking, Der Spiegel, 1989] +% +"The intelligent beings in these regions should therefore not be surprised + if they observe that their locality in the universe satisfies the conditions + that are necessary for their existence. It is a bit like a rich person + living in a wealthy neighborhood not seeing any poverty." + [Stephen Hawking] +% +"One does not have to appeal to God to set the initial conditions + for the creation of the universe, but if one does He would have + to act through the laws of physics." + [Stephen Hawking, "Black Holes & Baby Universes"] +% +"So long as the universe had a beginning, we could suppose it had a + creator. But if the universe is completely self-contained, having + no boundary or edge, it would neither be created nor destroyed... + it would simply be. What place, then, for a creator?" + [Stephen Hawking] +% +"My parents, though they had never formally left the ancestral Roman + Catholic church, held no religious beliefs. Though they were no longer + fiercely anti-religious (as I suspect my paternal grandfather was, along + with so many of the scientists of his generation), all positive dogma was + for them a superstition of the past. They never took me to church. And + though as part of my general education I was, soon after I had begun to + read for pleasure, given a child's Bible, it disappeared mysteriously when + I got too interested in it.... + + By the age of fifteen, I had convinced myself that nobody could give a + reasonable explanation of what he meant by the word 'God' and that it was + therefore as meaningless to assert a belief as to assert a disbelief in God. + + Though this, in a general way, has remained my position ever since, I + have always avoided unnecessarily to offend other people holding religious + belief by displaying my lack of such belief, or even stating my lack of + belief, if I was not challenged." + [From _Hayek on Hayek: An Autobiographical Dialogue_, edited by Stephen + Kresge and Leif Wenar (University of Chicago Press, 1994), pp. 40-41. F. A. + Hayek is considered the foremost defender of capitalism in the 20th century] +% +"That which the heathen had respected the Catholic outraged. The great + Cardinal Ximenez restored the primitive rite and devoted this charming + chapel to its service. How ill a return was made for Moorish tolerance + we see in the infernal treatment they afterwards received from king and + Church. They made them choose between conversion and death. They embraced + Christianity to save their lives. Then the priests said, "Perhaps this + conversion is not genuine! Let us send the heathen away out of our sight." + One million of the best citizens of Spain were thus torn from their homes + and landed starving on the wild African coast. And Te Deums were sung + in the churches for this triumph of Catholic unity. From that hour Spain + has never prospered." + [Castilian Days, The City of + the Visigoths, John Hay, 1903] +% +"If judged only by the results that challenge the laws + of probabilities, then the power of prayer is nil." + [Judith Hayes, U.S. freethinker, author] +% +"If we are going to teach 'creation science' as an alternative + to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as + an alternative to biological reproduction." + [Judith Hayes] +% +"Life can be beautiful, profound, and awe-inspiring, even + without an irate god threatening us with eternal torment." + [Judith Hayes] +% +"The biblical account of Noah's Ark and the Flood is perhaps + the most implausible story for fundamentalists to defend. + Where, for example, while loading his ark, did Noah find + penguins and polar bears in Palestine?" + [Judith Hayes] +% +"Religion is a result of primal urges, and I hope that it, like + murder and septic personal hygiene, becomes unfashionable." + [Brian Hayward] +% +"There is no sin. It is an invention to shame people into believing fantasies. + We are the only animals known to desire to act differently (often better) + than we do. This is a glorious quality, and provides optimism that we will + will eventually improve ourselves. We should be proud of it, not ashamed." + [Brian Hayward] +% +"The cannibals burn their enemies and eat them in good-fellowship with + one another: meek Christian divines cast those who differ from them + but a hair's-breadth, body and soul into hell-fire for the glory of + God and the good of his creatures! It is well that the power of such + persons is not co-ordinate with their wills..." + [William Hazlitt, "On the Pleasure of Hating"] +% +"The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe + in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe + in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't." + [HBT, "The Gospel According to Fred" 3:1] +% +"I haven't heard anyone saying that she's blackmailing anyone. I think she + just wants to see if our freedom of religious expression is really protected + or is the court supposed to cater to the whims of the masses who want to + shop and open stores on Sunday or any other religious holiday." + [Tammy Rae Healy] +% +"Religion is the highest vanity." + [Friedrich Hebbel] +% +"Immorality, perversion, infidelity, cannibalism, etc., are + unassailable by church and civic league if you dress them + up in the togas and talliths of the Good Book." + [Ben Hecht (1893-1964), U.S. journalist, author, screenwriter. "A + Child of the Century," bk. 5, "Sex in Hollywood" (1954), commenting + on biblical epics solving "the fornication problem" in Hollywood] +% +"God is, as it were, the sewer into which all contradictions flow" + [G. W. F. Hegel, Lectures on the History of Philosophy] +% +"A disturbing fact continues to surface in sex abuse research. The first + best predictor of abuse is alcohol or drug addiction in the father. But + the second best predictor is conservative religiosity, accompanied by + parental belief in traditional male-female roles. This means that if you + want to know which children are most likely to be sexually abused by their + father, the second most significant clue is *whether or not the parents + belong to a conservative religious group with traditional role beliefs + and rigid sexual attitudes*. (Brown and Bohn, 1989; Finkelhor, 1986; Fortune, + 1983; Goldstein et al, 1973; Van Leeuwen, 1990). (emphasis in original) + ["Sexual Abuse in Christian Homes and Churches", by Carolyn + Holderread Heggen, Herald Press, Scotdale, PA, 1993 p. 73] +% +"As Pastor X slips out of bed + He puts a neat disguise on + That halo round his priestly head + Is merely his horizon." + [Piet Hein, 1966] +% +"What Christian love cannot do is effected by a common hatred." + [Heinrich Heine] +% +"Christ rode on an ass, but now asses ride on Christ." + [Heine] +% +"In dark ages people are best guided by religion, as in + pitch-black night a blind man is the best guide; he knows the + roads and paths better than a man who can see. When daylight + comes, however, it is foolish to use blind, old men as guides." + [Heinrich Heine, Gedanken und Einfalle, Volume 10] +% +"Let's leave heaven to the angels and the sparrows." + [Heinrich Heine] +% +"The most ridiculous concept ever perpetrated by H.Sapiens is that the + Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of the Universes, wants the sacharrine + adoration of his creations, that he can be persuaded by their prayers, and + becomes petulant if he does not recieve this flattery. Yet this ridiculous + notion, without one real shred of evidence to bolster it, has gone on to + found one of the oldest, largest and least productive industries in history." + [Lazarus Long, from "Time Enough For Love" by R. Heinlein] +% +"A religion is sometime a source of happiness, and I would not deprive anyone + of happiness. But it is a comfort appropriate for the weak, not for the + strong. The great trouble with religion - any religion - is that a + religionist, having accepted certain propositions by faith, cannot thereafter + judge those propositions by evidence. One may bask at the warm fire of faith + or choose to live in the bleak certainty of reason- but one cannot have both." + [Robert A. Heinlein, from "Friday"] +% +"History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational + basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the + unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and + spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from + fiddling with it." + [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long"] +% +"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." + [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long"] +% +"Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. + Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child." + [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long", quoted in + Peter McWilliams, Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do, p. 375] +% +"God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent - it says so right here + on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these + attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, + please. Cash and in small bills." + [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long"] +% +"Of all the strange "crimes" that humanity has legislated out of nothing, + "blasphemy" is the most amazing - with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" + fighting it out for second and third place." + [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long"] +% +"Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. + All other "sins" are invented nonsense. + (Hurting yourself is not sinful--just stupid.) + [Robert A. Heinlein] +% +"If you pray hard enough, you can make water run uphill. How + hard? Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!" + [Robert A. Heinlein, "Expanded Universe"] +% +"Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark + cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there." + [Robert A. Heinlein, "JOB: A Comedy of Justice"] +% +"Anyone who can worship a trinity and insist that his religion is a + monotheism can believe anything... just give him time to rationalize it." + [Robert A. Heinlein, "JOB: A Comedy of Justice"] +% +"There is an old, old story about a theologian who was asked to reconcile + the Doctrine of Divine Mercy with the doctrine of infant damnation. 'The + Almighty,' he explained, 'finds it necessary to do things in His official + and public capacity which in His private and personal capacity He deplores." + [Robert A. Heinlein (1907 - 1988) + _Methuselah's Children_ ASF c.1941] +% +"God split himself into a myriad parts that he might have friends." + This may not be true, but it sounds good, and is no sillier than + any other theology." + [Lazarus Long, _Time Enough for Love_ by Robert Heinlein] +% +"Whores perform the same function + as priests, but far more thoroughly" + [Robert Heinlein] +% +"The profession of shaman has many advantages. It offers high status + with a safe livelihood free of work in the dreary, sweaty sense. In + most societies it offers legal privileges and immunities not granted + to other men. But it is hard to see how a man who has been given a + mandate from on High to spread tidings of joy to all mankind can be + seriously interested in taking up a collection to pay his salary; it + causes one to suspect that the shaman is on the moral level of any + other con man. But it is a lovely work if you can stomach it." + [Lazarus Long, _Time enough for Love_, by Robert Heinlein] +% +"(Religous) Faith strikes me as intellectual laziness." + [Jubal Hershaw, from _Stranger in a + Strange Land_, by Robert Heinlein] +% +"When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to + its subjects, 'This you may not read, this you may not see, this you are + forbidden to know,' the end result is tyranny and oppression, no matter how + holy the motives. Mighty little force is needed to control a man whose + mind has been hoodwinked; contrariwise, no amount of force can control a + free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, + not anything--you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him." + [Robert Heinlein] +% +"The nice thing about citing god as an authority is + that you can prove anything you set out to prove." + [Robert A. Heinlein, from "If This Goes On-"] +% +"Don't appeal to mercy to God the Father up in the sky, little man, because + he's not at home and never was at home, and couldn't care less. What you do + with yourself, whether you are happy or unhappy-- live or die-- is strictly + your business and the universe doesn't care. In fact you may be the universe + and the only cause of all your troubles. But, at best, the most you can hope + for is comradeship with comrades no more divine (or just as divine) as you + are. So quit sniveling and face up to it-- 'Thou art God!'" + [Robert A. Heinlein Oct. 21, 1960] +% +"I've never understood how God could expect His creatures to pick the one + true religion by faith - it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe." + [Robert Heinlein, Jubal Harshaw in "Stranger in a Strange Land"] +% +"The Ten Commandments are for lame brains. + The first five are solely for the benefit of the + priests and the powers that be; the second five + are half truths, neither complete nor adequate." + [Robert Heinlein, Ira Johnson in + "To Sail Beyond the Sunset"] +% +"The Bible is such a gargantuan collection of conflicting + values that anyone can "prove" anything from it." + [Robert Heinlein, Dr. Jacob Burroughs + in "The Number of the Beast"] +% +"The hell I won't talk that way! Peter, an eternity here without her is not + an eternity of bliss; it is an eternity of boredom and loneliness and grief. + You think this damned gaudy halo means anything to me when I know--yes, + you've convinced me!--that my beloved is burning in the Pit? I didn't ask + much. Just to be allowed to live with her. I was willing to wash dishes + forever if only I could see her smile, hear her voice, touch her hand! She's + been shipped on a technicality and you know it! Snobbish, bad-tempered angels + get to live here without ever doing one lick to deserve it. But my Marga, + who is a real angel if one ever lived, gets turned down and sent to Hell to + everlasting torture on a childish twist in the rules. You can tell the Father + and His sweet-talking Son and that sneaky Ghost that they can take their + gaudy Holy City and shove it! If Margrethe has to be in Hell, that's where + I want to be!" + [Robert Heinlein, Alexander Hergensheimer + in "Job: A Comedy of Justice"] +% +"It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate + its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and + will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to + seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, + or driving underground all heretics." + [Robert A. Heinlein, "Postscript to Revolt in 2100"] +% +"He should have known better because, early in his learnings under his brother + Mahmoud, he had discovered that long human words (the longer the better) were + easy, unmistakable, and rarely changed their meanings, but short words were + slippery, unpredictable changing their meanings without any pattern. Or so he + seemed to grok. Short human words were never like a short Martian word -- such + as "grok" which forever meant exactly the same thing. Short human words were + like trying to lift water with a knife. And this had been a very short word." + [Robert Heinlein, Valentine Michael Smith's musings + on the word "God" in Stranger in a Strange Land] +% +"But I contend that the disgusting behavior of many of their alleged + 'holy men' relieves us of any intellectual obligation to take the + stuff seriously. No amount of sanctimonious rationalization can + make such behavior anything but pathological." + [Robert Heinlein, "Tramp Royale"] +% +"The faith in which I was brought up assured me that I was better than other + people; I was saved, they were damned ...Our hymns were loaded with arrogance + -- self-congratulation on how cozy we were with the Almighty and what a high + opinion he had of us, what hell everybody else would catch come Judgment Day." + [Robert A. Heinlein, from Laurence J. Peter, Peter's Quotations: Ideas + for Our Time, also James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief] +% +"...little children who have begun to live in their mothers' womb + and have there died, or who, having just been born, have passed + away from the world without the sacrament of holy baptism... + must be punished by the eternal torture of undying fire." + [quoted in _Hell, A Christian Doctrine_] +% +"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought that you + didn't believe in God?" + +"I don't," she sobbed, bursting into tears, "but the God I don't + believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the + mean and stupid God you make him out to be." + [Joseph Heller] +% +"Don't tell me God works in mysterious ways. There's nothing so mysterious + about it. He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all + about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about- a country bumpkin, a + clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much + reverance can you have for a Supreme being who finds it necessary to include + such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? + What in the world was going through that warped, evil, scatalogical mind of + His when He robbed old people of the ability to control their bowel + movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain.... + + Who created the dangers? Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He + gave us pain! Why couldn't He have used a doorbell instead to notify us, or + one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of red and blue neon tubes right in + the middle of each person's forehead?.... + + They certainly look beautiful now, writhing in agony or stupified with + morphine, don't they? What a colossal, immortal blunderer! When you consider + the opportunity and power He had to really do a job and then look at the + stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is + almost staggering. It's obvious He never met a payroll. Why,no self-respecting + businessman would hire a bungler like Him as even a shipping clerk!" + [Yossarian to Lt. Scheisskopf's wife, + _Catch-22_, 1961, by Joseph Heller] +% +"One sees what one wants to see when there + is in mind a pre-conceived notion." + [Hal Hellman, "Great Feuds in Science," p. 74] +% +"A man who believes that he eats his God we do not call mad; + yet, a many who says he is Jesus Christ, we call mad." + [Claude A. Helvetius (1715-1771)] +% +"It never ceases to amaze me at how many + religions depend upon circumsized penises." + [Dawn Henderson] +% +"Being unable to reason is not a positive character trait outside religion." + [Dewey Henize] +% +"..it is claimed that women owe their advancement to the Bible. + It would be quite true to say that they owe their impoverished + condition to the almanac or to the vernal equinox. Under Bible + influence woman has been burned as a witch, sold in the shambles, + reduced to a drudge and a pauper, and silenced and subjected + before her ecclesiastical and marital law-givers." + [Josephine K. Henry] +% +"Paris vaut une messe. [Paris is worth a mass]" + [Henry of Navare, who gained control of + Paris just by converting to Catholicism + and renouncing his Protestant affiliations] +% +"A blow to the head will confuse a man's thinking, a blow to the foot + has no such effect, this cannot be the result of an immaterial soul." + [Heraclitus, 500 BC] +% +"The universal cosmic process was not created by any god or man; + it forever was, is, and forever will be, an Everliving Fire." + [Heraclitus of Ephesus, 500 BC] +% +"When politics and religion are intermingled, a people is + suffused with a sense of invulnerability, and gathering speed + in their forward charge, they fail to see the cliff ahead of them." + [Frank Herbert, _Dune_] +% +"Behind every religion lurks a Torquemada." + [Frank Herbert, _God Emperor of Dune_] +% +"It was man, mortal bloody man, who created the myths... + Religion is nothing but wish-fulfilling stories for the masses." + [James Herbert, "Shrine"] +% +"Organized Religion is like Organized Crime; it preys on peoples' + weakness, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost + impossible to eradicate." + [Mike Hermann (hermann@cs.ubc.ca)] +% +"Just as power is the god of the modern liberal, God + remains the authority of the modern conservative." + [Karl Hess, The Death of Politics, Playboy, March 1969] +% +"My father was really a bigot. He was very strict and fanatical. I learned + that my father took a religious oath at the time of the birth of my younger + sister, dedicating me to God and the priesthood, and after that leading + a Joseph married life [celibacy]. He directed my entire youthful education + toward the goal of making me a priest. I had to pray and go to church + endlessly, do penance over the slightest misdeed-- praying as punishment + for any little unkindness to my sister, or something like that." + [Rudolf Hess, to psychologist G. M. Gilbert, in his Nuremberg + cell, from Louis L. Snyder, "Hitler's Elite, Shocking Profiles + of the Reich's Most Notorious Henchmen", Berkley Books, 1990] +% +"I say religion is a mental illness, with + all due respect to the truly sick." + ["Hewes", on IRC] +% +"I haven't rejected god, I've never met him." + [Trevor Hick on alt.atheism] +% +"Hey, doncha think the REAL reason JC hasn't returned is those crosses you + wear? Think. How would JFK feel if you wore little rifles on your lapels?" + [Bill Hicks, comedian] +% +"Great, now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to." + [Bill Hicks, comedian] +% +THE PREACHER AND THE SLAVE + by Joe Hill, to the tune + of "In The Sweet By And By" + + Long-haired preachers come out every night + Try and tell you what's wrong and what's right + But when asked about something to eat + They will answer in voices so sweet: + + CHORUS: + You will eat, by and by, + In the glorious land above the sky (way up high) + Work and pray, live on hay, + You'll get pie in the sky when you die (that's a lie!) + + Oh the Starvation Army they play + And they sing and they clap and they pray + Till they get all your coin on the drum + Then they tell you when you're on the bum: + + CHORUS + + Holy Rollers and jumpers come out + And they roll and they jump and they shout + Give your money to Jesus, they say + He will cure all diseases today + + CHORUS + + If you fight hard for children and wife + Try to get something good in this life + You're a sinner and bad man, they tell + When you die you will sure go to Hell + + CHORUS + + Working folks of all countries, unite! + Side by side we for freedom will fight! + When this world and its wealth we have gained, + To the grafters we'll sing this refrain: + + LAST CHORUS: + You will eat, by and by, + When you've learned how to cook and to fry (and to fry!) + Chop some wood, it'll do you good, + And you'll eat in the sweet by and by (that's no lie!) +% +"We should do unto others as we would want them to do unto us. If I were + an unborn fetus I would want others to use force to protect me, therefore + using force against abortionists is *justifiable homocide*." + ["Pro-Life" doctor killer Paul Hill] +% +"Death opens her cavernous mouth before you. Thousands upon thousands of + children are consumed by her every day. You have the ability to save some + from being tossed into her gaping mouth. As hundreds are being rushed into + eternity, other questions shrink in comparison to the weighty question, + 'Should we defend born and unborn children with force?' + "_Take defensive action!_" + [Rev. Paul J. Hill, abortion doctor murderer] +% +"Are there any heinous sins being committed today that could again fan the + flames of God's righteous anger to the scorching point? Is there any + need in today's world for men of the stamp of Phinehas? Could the bold + daring of Cozbi and Zimri in parading before Moses as he wept over sin + have any modern parallels? The righteous zeal of Phinehas did not permit + him to stay his hand long enough to even ask Moses or the church leaders + of the wisdom of his action. If any similar zeal be found among + us today, occasion to exercise it will not be lacking." + [Paul J. Hill, _Should We Defend Born And Unborn Children With + Force?_, 1993, Defensive Action, Pensacola, FL, p. 4] +% +"There is no question that deadly force should + be used to protect innocent life." + [Paul Hill, leader of Defensive Action] +% +"When you don't give money, it shows that you have the devil's nature." + [Benny Hinn, Praise-a-thon (TBN), recorded 4/21/91] +% +"I swear before God this holy oath, that I shall give absolute + confidence to the Fuehrer of the German Reich and people." + [Heinrich Himmler] +% +"You Einsatztruppen (task forces) are called upon to fulfill a repulsive duty. + But you are soldiers who have to carry out every order unconditionally. You + have a responsibility before God and Hitler for everything that is happening. + I myself hate this bloody business and I have been moved to the depths of my + soul. But I am obeying the highest law by doing my duty. Man must defend + himself against bedbugs and rats-- against vermin." + [Heinrich Himmler, in a speech to the SS guards, from + Louis L. Snyder, "Hitler's Elite, Shocking Profiles of + the Reich's Most Notorious Henchmen", Berkley Books, 1990] +% +"Saints fly only in the eyes of their disciples." + [Hindu proverb] +% +"Men think epilepsy divine, merely because they do not understand + it. But if they called everything divine which they do not + understand, why, there would be no end of divine things." + [Hippocrates] +% +"Men ought to know that from nothing else but the brain + come joys, delights, laughter and sports, and sorrows, + griefs, despondency and lamentations." + [Hippocrates] +% +"Where prayer, amulets and incantations work it + is only a manifestation of the patient's belief." + [Hippocrates] +% + The Peddler + +In the zocalo +a one-eyed salesman +offers me a gourd +wrinkled +dried +with the face of God +painted on it +in cochineal & indigo + +God is dead, +I tell him. + +You are right, +he answers, +but it is only one peso. + +I shake the gourd; +the seeds rattle +like thoughts in a dry brain. + +O unfortunate country! + + [George Hitchcock] +% +"Among the innumerable reasons to scorn the creationists' "argument from + design" is that no intelligent, let alone loving, Creator could possibly + have "designed" the male reproductive system in its current form. We, the + paragon of animals, the Mister Monster, have always been acutely aware that + our own boss, this tiny megalomaniacal tyrant, might fail to turn up. + Erections were less wondrous works of the Almighty and more like cops: often + there when you emphatically didn't require them and sometimes absent when + you did. I once knew a woman who recounted a sexual episode with one of the + totally famous studs of our time. "And how was it?" I inquired diffidently. + "Oh," she replied with an air, "a bit like trying to get an oyster into a + parking meter." Or, as Amis puts it elsewhere in "Money," 'They're very + difficult. They're not at all easy. That's why they're called hard-ons.'" + [Christopher Hitchens in Salon Magazine, 5/11/98] +% +"I believe today that I am acting in the sense of the Almighty Creator. + By warding off the Jews I am fighting for the Lord's work." + [Adolph Hitler, Speech, Reichstag, 1936] +% +"There is a road to freedom. Its milestones are Obedience, Endeavor, + Honesty, Order, Cleanliness, Sobriety, Truthfulness, Sacrifice, and + love of the Fatherland." + [Message, signed Hitler, painted on walls of + concentration camps; Life, August 21, 1939] +% +"Woman's world is her husband, her family, her children and her home. + We do not find it right when she presses into the world of men." + [Adolph Hitler, quoted in Lucy Komisar, The New Feminism] +% +"I have followed [the Church] in giving our party program the character of + unalterable finality, like the Creed. The Church has never allowed the + Creed to be interfered with. It is fifteen hundred years since it was + formulated, but every suggestion for its amendment, every logical criticism, + or attack on it, has been rejected. The Church has realized that anything + and everything can be built up on a document of that sort, no matter how + contradictory or irreconcilable with it. The faithful will swallow it whole, + so long as logical reasoning is never allowed to be brought to bear on it." + [Adolf Hitler, from Rauschning, _The Voice of Destruction_, pp. 239-40] +% + "My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as + a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by + a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned + men to fight against them and who, God's truth! was greatest not as a sufferer + but as a fighter. + In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage + which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge + to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific + was his fight against the Jewish poison. + Today, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more + profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to + shed his blood upon the Cross. + As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have + the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice... + And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting + rightly, it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have + also a duty to my own people. And when I look on my people I see them work + and work and toil and labor, and at the end of the week they have only + for their wages wretchedness and misery. + When I go out in the morning and see these men standing in their queues + and look into their pinched faces, then I believe I would be no Christian, + but a very devil, if I felt no pity for them, if I did not, as did our + Lord two thousand years ago, turn against those by whom today this poor + people are plundered and exposed." + [Adolf Hitler, speech on April 12, 1922, published in + "My New Order", quoted in Freethought Today April 1990] +% +"I believe today that my conduct is in accordance + with the will of the Almighty Creator." + [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp. 46] +% +"What we have to fight for...is the freedom and independence + of the fatherland, so that our people may be enabled to fulfill + the mission assigned to it by the Creator." + [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp. 125] +% +"This human world of ours would be inconceivable without + the practical existence of a religious belief." + [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp.152] +% +"And the founder of Christianity made no secret indeed of his + estimation of the Jewish people. When He found it necessary, + He drove those enemies of the human race out of the Temple of God." + [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp.174] +% +"Catholics and Protestants are fighting with one another... while the + enemy of Aryan humanity and all Christendom is laughing up his sleeve." + [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp.309] +% +"I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so" + [Adolph Hitler, to Gen. Gerhard Engel, 1941] +% +"Any violence which does not spring from a spiritual + base, will be wavering and uncertain. It lacks the + stability which can only rest in a fanatical outlook." + [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, p. 171] +% +"I had excellent opportunity to intoxicate myself with the solemn splendor + of the brilliant church festivals. As was only natural, the abbot seemed + to me, as the village priest had once seemed to my father, the highest + and most desirable ideal." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 1] +% +"I was not in agreement with the sharp anti-Semitic tone, but from time + to time I read arguments which gave me some food for thought. At all + events, these occasions slowly made me acquainted with the man and the + movement, which in those days guided Vienna's destinies: Dr. Karl + Lueger and the Christian Social Party." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 2] +% +"...the unprecedented rise of the Christian Social Party... was to + assume the deepest significance for me as a classical object of study." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3] +% +"As long as leadership from above was not lacking, the people fulfilled + their duty and obligation overwhelmingly. Whether Protestant pastor or + Catholic priest, both together and particularly at the first flare, there + really existed in both camps but a single holy German Reich, for whose + existence and future each man turned to his own heaven." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3] +% +"Political parties has nothing to do with religious problems, as long + as these are not alien to the nation, undermining the morals and ethics + of the race; just as religion cannot be amalgamated with the scheming + of political parties." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3] +% +"For the political leader the religious doctrines and institutions + of his people must always remain inviolable; or else has no right to be + in politics, but should become a reformer, if he has what it takes! + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3] +% +"In nearly all the matters in which the Pan-German movement was wanting, + the attitude of the Christian Social Party was correct and well-planned." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3] +% +"It [Christian Social Party] recognized the value of large-scale + propaganda and was a virtuoso in influencing the psychological + instincts of the broad masses of its adherents." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3] +% +"The anti-Semitism of the new movement (Christian Social movement) + was based on religious ideas instead of racial knowledge." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3] +% +"If Dr. Karl Lueger had lived in Germany, he would have + been ranked among the great minds of our people." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3, + about the leader of the Christian Social movement] +% +"Even today I am not ashamed to say that, overpowered by stormy enthusiasm, + I fell down on my knees and thanked Heaven from an overflowing heart for + granting me the good fortune of being permitted to live at this time." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 5] +% +"I had so often sung 'Deutschland u:ber Alles' and shouted 'Heil' at + the top of my lungs, that it seemed to me almost a belated act of grace + to be allowed to stand as a witness in the divine court of the eternal + judge and proclaim the sincerity of this conviction." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 5] +% +"Only in the steady and constant application of force lies the very first + prerequisite for success. This persistence, however, can always and only + arise from a definite spiritual conviction. Any violence which does not + spring from a firm, spiritual base, will be wavering and uncertain." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 5] +% +"I soon realized that the correct use of propaganda is a true art which has + remained practically unknown to the bourgeois parties. Only the Christian- + Social movement, especially in Lueger's time achieved a certain virtuosity + on this instrument, to which it owed many of its success." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 6] +% +"Once again the songs of the fatherland roared to the heavens + along the endless marching columns, and for the last time the + Lord's grace smiled on His ungrateful children." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, + Chapter 7, reflecting on World War I] +% +"The more abstractly correct and hence powerful this idea will be, the more + impossible remains its complete fulfillment as long as it continues to depend + on human beings... If this were not so, the founders of religion could not be + counted among the greatest men of this earth... In its workings, even the + religion of love is only the weak reflection of the will of its exalted + founder; its significance, however, lies in the direction which it attempted + to give to a universal human development of culture, ethics, and morality." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 8] +% +"To them belong, not only the truly great statesmen, but all + other great reformers as well. Beside Frederick the Great + stands Martin Luther as well as Richard Wagner." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 8] +% +"The fight against syphilis demands a fight against prostitution, against + prejudices, old habits, against previous conceptions, general views among + them not least the false prudery of certain circles. The first prerequisite + for even the moral right to combat these things is the facilitation of + earlier marriage for the coming generation. In late marriage alone lies the + compulsion to retain an institution which, twist and turn as you like, + is and remains a disgrace to humanity, an institution which is damned + ill-suited to a being who with his usual modesty likes to regard himself + as the 'image' of God." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10] +% +"Parallel to the training of the body a struggle against the poisoning + of the soul must begin. Our whole public life today is like a hothouse + for sexual ideas and simulations. Just look at the bill of fare served + up in our movies, vaudeville and theaters, and you will hardly be able + to deny that this is not the right kind of food, particularly for the + youth...Theater, art, literature, cinema, press, posters, and window + displays must be cleansed of all manifestations of our rotting world + and placed in the service of a moral, political, and cultural idea." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10, echoing + the Cultural Warfare rhetoric of the Religious Right] +% +"But if out of smugness, or even cowardice, this battle is not fought to its + end, then take a look at the peoples five hundred years from now. I think + you will find but few images of God, unless you want to profane the Almighty." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10] +% +"While both denominations maintain missions in Asia and Africa in order to + win new followers for their doctrine-- an activity which can boast but very + modest success compared to the advance of the Mohammedan faith in particular-- + right here in Europe they lose millions and millions of inward adherents who + either are alien to all religious life or simply go their own ways. The + consequences, particularly from a moral point of view, are not favorable." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10] +% +"The great masses of people do not consist of philosophers; precisely for + the masses, faith is often the sole foundation of a moral attitude. The + various substitutes have not proved so successful from the standpoint of + results that they could be regarded as a useful replacement for previous + religious creeds. But if religious doctrine and faith are really to embrace + the broad masses, the unconditional authority of the content of this faith + is the foundation of all efficacy." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10] +% +"Due to his own original special nature, the Jew cannot possess a religious + institution, if for no other reason because he lacks idealism in any form, + and hence belief in a hereafter is absolutely foreign to him. And a religion + in the Aryan sense cannot be imagined which lacks the conviction of survival + after death in some form. Indeed, the Talmud is not a book to prepare a man + for the hereafter, but only for a practical and profitable life in this world." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 11] +% +"The best characterization is provided by the product of this religious + education, the Jew himself. His life is only of this world, and his spirit + is inwardly as alien to true Christianity as his nature two thousand years + previous was to the great founder of the new doctrine. Of course, the latter + made no secret of his attitude toward the Jewish people, and when necessary + he even took the whip to drive from the temple of the Lord this adversary + of all humanity, who then as always saw in religion nothing but an instrument + for his business existence. In return, Christ was nailed to the cross, + while our present-day party Christians debase themselves to begging for + Jewish votes at elections and later try to arrange political swindles with + atheistic Jewish parties-- and this against their own nation." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 11] +% +"....the personification of the devil as the symbol + of all evil assumes the living shape of the Jew." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 11, + precisely echoing Martin Luther's teachings] +% +"Faith is harder to shake than knowledge, love succumbs less to change + than respect, hate is more enduring than aversion, and the impetus to + the mightiest upheavals on this earth has at all times consisted less + in a scientific knowledge dominating the masses than in a fanaticism + which inspired them and sometimes in a hysteria which drove them forward." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 1 Chapter 12] +% +"The greatness of every mighty organization embodying an idea + in this world lies in the religious fanaticism and intolerance + with which, fanatically convinced of its own right, it + intolerantly imposes its will against all others." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 1 Chapter 12] +% +"The greatness of Christianity did not lie in attempted negotiations for + compromise with any similar philosophical opinions in the ancient world, but + in its inexorable fanaticism in preaching and fighting for its own doctrine." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 1 Chapter 12] +% +"All in all, this whole period of winter 1919-20 was a single struggle + to strengthen confidence in the victorious might of the young movement + and raise it to that fanaticism of faith which can move mountains." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 1 Chapter 12] +% +"Thus inwardly armed with confidence in God and the unshakable + stupidity of the voting citizenry, the politicians can begin + the fight for the 'remaking' of the Reich as they call it." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 1] +% +"Of course, even the general designation 'religious' includes various + basic ideas or convictions, for example, the indestructibility of the soul, + the eternity of its existence, the existence of a higher being, etc. But + all these ideas, regardless of how convincing they may be for the individual, + are submitted to the critical examination of this individual and hence + to a fluctuating affirmation or negation until emotional divination or + knowledge assumes the binding force of apodictic faith. This, above all, + is the fighting factor which makes a breach and opens the way for the + recognition of basic religious views." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 1] +% +"Anyone who dares to lay hands on the highest image of the Lord + commits sacrilege against the benevolent creator of this miracle + and contributes to the expulsion from paradise." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 1] +% +"A folkish state must therefore begin by raising marriage from the level + of a continuous defilement of the race, and give it the consecration of + an institution which is called upon to produce images of the Lord and not + monstrosities halfway between man and ape." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2] +% +"It would be more in keeping with the intention of the noblest man in this + world if our two Christian churches, instead of annoying Negroes with + missions which they neither desire nor understand, would kindly, but in + all seriousness, teach our European humanity that where parents are not + healthy it is a deed pleasing to God to take pity on a poor little healthy + orphan child and give him father and mother, than themselves to give birth + to a sick child who will only bring unhappiness and suffering on himself + and the rest of the world." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2] +% +"That this is possible may not be denied in a world where hundreds and hundreds + of thousands of people voluntarily submit to celibacy, obligated and bound by + nothing except the injunction of the Church. Should the same renunciation + not be possible if this injunction is replaced by the admonition finally to + put an end to the constant and continuous original sin of racial poisoning, + and to give the Almighty Creator beings such as He Himself created?" + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2] +% +"For the greatest revolutionary changes on this earth would not have been + thinkable if their motive force, instead of fanatical, yes, hysterical + passion, had been merely the bourgeois virtues of law and order." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2] +% +"It doesn't dawn on this depraved bourgeois world that this is positively + a sin against all reason; that it is criminal lunacy to keep on drilling + a born half-ape until people think they have made a lawyer out of him, + while millions of members of the highest culture-race must remain in entirely + unworthy positions; that it is a sin against the will of the Eternal Creator + if His most gifted beings by the hundreds and hundreds of thousands are + allowed to degenerate in the present proletarian morass, while Hottentots + and Zulu Kaffirs are trained for intellectual professions." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2] +% +"It may be that today gold has become the exclusive ruler of life, but + the time will come when man will again bow down before a higher god." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2] +% +"Christianity could not content itself with building up its own altar; + it was absolutely forced to undertake the destruction of the heathen altars. + Only from this fanatical intolerance could its apodictic faith take form; + this intolerance is, in fact, its absolute presupposition." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 5] +% +"For how shall we fill people with blind faith in the correctness of a + doctrine, if we ourselves spread uncertainty and doubt by constant changes + in its outward structure? ...Here, too, we can learn by the example of + the Catholic Church. Though its doctrinal edifice, and in part quite + superfluously, comes into collision with exact science and research, it + is none the less unwilling to sacrifice so much as one little syllable of + its dogmas... it is only such dogmas which lend to the whole body the + character of a faith." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 5] +% +"The folkish-minded man, in particular, has the sacred duty, each in + his own denomination, of making people stop just talking superficially + of God's will, and actually fulfill God's will, and not let God's word + be desecrated. For God's will gave men their form, their essence and + their abilities. Anyone who destroys His work is declaring war on the + Lord's creation, the divine will." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 10] +% +"In the ranks of the movement [National Socialist movement], the most + devout Protestant could sit beside the most devout Catholic, without + coming into the slightest conflict with his religious convictions. + The mighty common struggle which both carried on against the destroyer + of Aryan humanity had, on the contrary, taught them mutually to respect + and esteem one another." + [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 10] +% +"For this, to be sure, from the child's primer down to the last newspaper, + every theater and every movie house, every advertising pillar and every + billboard, must be pressed into the service of this one great mission, + until the timorous prayer of our present parlor patriots: 'Lord, make us + free!' is transformed in the brain of the smallest boy into the burning + plea: 'Almighty God, bless our arms when the time comes; be just as thou + hast always been; judge now whether we be deserving of freedom; Lord, + bless our battle!' + [Adolf Hitler's prayer, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 2 Chapter 13] +% +"The Government, being resolved to undertake the political and moral + purification of our public life, are creating and securing the conditions + necessary for a really profound revival of religious life" + [Adolph Hitler, in a speech to the Reichstag on March 23, 1933] +% + "ATHEIST HALL CONVERTED + + Berlin Churches Establish Bureau to Win Back Worshippers + + Wireless to the New York Times. + + BERLIN, May 13. - In Freethinkers Hall, which before the Nazi +resurgence was the national headquarters of the German Freethinkers +League, the Berlin Protestant church authorities have opened a bureau +for advice to the public in church matters. Its chief object is to win +back former churchgoers and assist those who have not previously +belonged to any religious congregation in obtaining church membership. + + The German Freethinkers League, which was swept away by the national +revolution, was the largest of such organizations in Germany. It had +about 500,000 members ..." + [New York Times, May 14, 1993, page 2, on Hitler's outlawing of + atheistic and freethinking groups in Germany in the Spring of + 1933, after the Enabling Act authorizing Hitler to rule by decree] +% +"I go the way that Providence dictates with the assurance of a sleepwalker." + [Adolf Hitler, Speech, 15 March 1936, Munich, Germany.] +% +"The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty + to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and cooperation. It will + preserve and defend those basic principles on which our nation has been + built. It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national + morality, and the family as the basis of national life...." + [Adolf Hitler, Berlin, February 1, 1933] +% +"Today Christians ... stand at the head of [this country]... I pledge that I + never will tie myself to parties who want to destroy Christianity .. We want + to fill our culture again with the Christian spirit ... We want to burn out + all the recent immoral developments in literature, in the theater, and in + the press - in short, we want to burn out the *poison of immorality* which + has entered into our whole life and culture as a result of *liberal excess* + during the past ... (few) years." + [The Speeches of Adolph Hitler, 1922-1939, Vol. 1 + (London, Oxford University Press, 1942), pg. 871-872] +% +"An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some + of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them + as quickly as possible." + [Russell Hoban, "Pilgermann"] +% +"Commerce unites; religion divides." + [Alice Tisdale Hobart] +% +"Religions are like pills, which must + be swallowed whole without chewing" + [Thomas Hobbes, 1588-1679] +% +"Man is the only animal that contemplates death, and also the + only animal that shows any sign of doubt of its finality." + [William Ernest Hocking] +% +"The Good is that which leads to health, The Right is that which leads to + peace. Purpose is ours to choose, Meaning is the story we choose to join. + We are all members of Darwin's family, all kin from the beginning of life. + If you value anything, value other humans, for they are the only help you + will have in times of trouble. The Godless Universe is vast and wondrous, + and more than enough. We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful + of the night." + [John Hodges, 1999] +% +"The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his + own self, the more ready he is to claim all excellence for + his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause." + [Eric Hoffer, philosopher and author, + _The True Believer_, 1951, section 9] +% +"Crude absurdities, trivial nonsense, and sublime truths + are equally potent in readying people for self-sacrifice + if they are accepted as the sole, eternal truth." + [Eric Hoffer, _The True Believer_, 1951, section 57] +% +"The creed whose legitimacy is most easily challenged is likely to + develop the strongest proselytizing impulse. It is doubtful whether + a movement which does not profess some preposterous and patently + irrational dogma can be possessed of that zealous drive which "must + either win men or destroy the world." It is also plausible that those + movements with the greatest inner contradiction between profession and + practice-that is to say with a strong feeling of guilt-are likely to be + the most fervent in imposing their faith on others." + [Eric Hoffer, _The True Believer_, 1951, section 88] +% +"Take man's most fantastic invention, God. Man invents God in the image + of his longing, in the image of what he wants to be, then proceeds to + imitate that image, vie with it, and strive to overcome it... [Religion + is] not a matter of God, church, holy cause. etc. These are but + accessories. The source of religious preoccupation is in the self, or + rather the rejection of the self.... Man alone is a religious animal + because, as Montaigne points out, 'it is a malady confined to man, and + not seen in any other creature, to hate and despise ourselves...'" + [Eric Hoffer] +% +"Christianity is one of several Jewish heresies." + [Eric Hoffer] +% +"Mass movements can rise and spread without belief + in a god, but never without belief in a devil." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"(To the true believer) Every difficulty and failure within + the movement is the work of the devil, and every success is + a triumph over his evil plotting." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"This enemy--the indispensable devil of every mass movement--is + omnipresent. He plots both outside and inside the ranks of the faithful." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"It is the true believer's ability to "shut his eyes and stop his ears" + to the facts that do not deserve to be either seen or heard which is the + source of his unequaled fortitude and constancy. He cannot be frightened + by danger nor disheartened by obstacle nor baffled by contradictions + because he denies their existence." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer," response to + Martin Luther's faithful shutting-out of + contrary evidence, in Table Talk, Number 1687] +% +"Thus blind faith is to a considerable extent a substitute for the lost + faith in ourselves; insatiable desire a substitute for hope; accumulation + a substitute for growth; fervent hustling a substitute for purposeful + action, and pride a substitute for unattainable self-respect." + [Eric Hoffer, N.Y. Times Magazine, Feb. 15, 1959] +% +"They want freedom from "the fearful burden of free choice," freedom + from the arduous responsibility of realizing their ineffectual selves + and shouldering the blame for the blemished product. They do not want + freedom of conscience, but faith--blind, authoritarian faith." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"The inability or unwillingness to see things as they + are promote both gullibility and charlatanism." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"A sublime religion inevitably generates a strong feeling of guilt. + There is an unavoidable contrast between loftiness of profession and + imperfection of practice. And, as one would expect, the feeling of + guilt promotes hate and brazenness. Thus it seems that the more + sublime the faith the more virulent the hatred it breeds." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"When we lose our individual independence in the corporateness of a mass + movement, we find a new freedom-freedom to hate, bully, lie, torture, + murder and betray without shame and remorse. Herein undoubtedly lies + part of the attractiveness of a mass movement." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"The devout are always urged to seek the absolute + truth with their hearts and not their minds." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"The truth is that the surrendering and humbling of the self breed pride and + arrogance. The true believer is apt to see himself as one of the chosen, + the salt of the earth, the light of the world, a prince disguised in meekness, + who is destined to inherit this earth and the kingdom of heaven, too. He who + is not of his faith is evil; he who will not listen shall perish." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"The missionary zeal seems rather an expression of some deep misgiving, + some pressing feeling of insufficiency at the center. Proselytizing is + more a passionate search for something not yet found than a desire to + bestow upon the world something we already have. It is a search for a + final and irrefutable demonstration that our absolute truth is indeed + the one and only truth. The proselytizing fanatic strengthens his own + faith by converting others." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"Obedience is not only the first law of God, but also the first tenet of + a revolutionary party and of fervent nationalism. "Not to reason why" is + considered by all mass movements the mark of a strong and generous spirit." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"By elevating dogma above reason, the individual's + intelligence is prevented from becoming self-reliant." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"The burning conviction that we have a holy duty toward others is often + a way of attaching our drowning selves to a passing raft. What looks + like giving a hand is often a holding on for dear life. Take away our + holy duties and you leave our lives puny and meaningless. There is no + doubt that in exchanging a self-centered for a selfless life we gain + enormously in self-esteem. The vanity of the selfless, even those who + practice utmost humility, is boundless." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"(For the true believer) To rely on the evidence of the senses and + of reason is heresy and treason. It is startling to realize how much + unbelief is necessary to make belief possible. What we know as blind + faith is sustained by innumerable unbeliefs." + [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"] +% +"Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger." + [Abbie Hoffman] +% +"Whenever religion is involved, terrorists kill more people." + [Dr. Bruce Hoffman, director of the Center for + the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence + at St. Andrews University, Scotland] +% +"In some sects members are told to commit violent acts + because the only way they can hasten redemption or + achieve salvation is to eliminate the nonbelievers." + [Dr. Bruce Hoffman, director of the Center for + the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence + at St. Andrews University, Scotland] +% +"perhaps as many as ninety percent of the Americans were unchurched in 1790" + [Richard Hofstadter, _Anti-Intellectualism in American + Life_, New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1974, p. 82] +% +"... mid-eighteenth century America had a smaller proportion of church + members than any other nation in Christendom...."in 1800 [only] one + of every fifteen Americans was a church member" + [Richard Hofstadter, _Anti-Intellectualism in American + Life_, New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1974, p. 89] +% +"Theology is but the ignorance of natural causes reduced to a system." + [Baron Paul Henri T. d'Holbach] +% +"When, therefore, he ascribes to his gods the production of some + phenomenon...does he, in fact, do anything more than substitute for + the darkness of his own mind, a sound to which he has been + accustomed to listen with reverential awe? + [Baron d'Holbach (1723-1789) "Systeme de la Nature" (1770)] +% +"Nature tells man to consult reason, and to take it for his guide: + religion teaches him that his reason is corrupted, that it is only + a treacherous guide, given by a deceitful God to lead his creatures + astray. Nature tells man to enlighten himself, to search after + truth, to instruct himself in his duties: religion enjoins him + to examine nothing, to remain in ignorance, to fear truth." + [Paul Henry Thiry d'Holbach, "Systeme de la Nature" (1770)] +% +"People have suffered and become insane for centuries by the thought of eternal + punishment after death. Wouldn't it be better to depend on blind matter (...) + than by a god who puts out traps for people, invites them to sin, and allows + them to sin and commit crimes he could prevent. Only to finally get the + barbarian pleasure to punish them in an excessive way, of no use for himself, + without them changing their ways and without their example preventing others + from committing crimes." + [Baron d'Holbach, "Systeme de la Nature" (1770)] +% +"If we go back to the beginnings of things, we shall always find that ignorance + and fear created the gods; that imagination, rapture and deception embellished + them; that weakness worships them; that custom spares them; and that tyranny + favors them in order to profit from the blindness of men." + [Baron d'Holbach, "Systeme de la Nature" (1770)] +% +"If the ignorance of nature gave birth to gods, the + knowledge of nature is calculated to destroy them." + [Baron d'Holbach, "Systeme de la Nature," p. 49] +% +"The sectaries of a religion, which preaches, in appearance, nothing but + charity, concord, and peace, have proved themselves more ferocious than + cannibals or savages, whenever their divines excited them to destroy + their brethren. There is no crime in which men have not committed under + the idea of pleasing the Divinity or appeasing his wrath." + [Baron D'Holbach, "Good Sense," 1772] +% +"Jesus Christ never commanded toleration as a motive for His disciples, + and toleration is the antithesis of the Christian message." + ["The Southern Baptist Convention and + Freemasonry" by James L. Holly, Page 30] +% +"For narrowness and sectarianism, there is no equal to the Lord Jesus Christ" + ["The Southern Baptist Convention and + Freemasonry" by James L. Holly, Page 40] +% +"What seems so right in the interest of toleration and its + cousins-liberty, equality and fraternity-is actually one of the + subtlest lies of the 'father of lies.'" + ["The Southern Baptist Convention and + Freemasonry" by James L. Holly, Page 40] +% +"Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper + chamber, if he has common sense on the ground floor." + [Oliver Wendell Holmes] +% +"On the whole, I am on the side of the unregenerate who affirm the + worth of life as an end in itself, as against the saints who deny it." + [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (U.S. Supreme + Court Justice), letter to Lady Pollock] +% +"I can't help an occasional semi-shudder as I remember that millions of + intelligent men think that I am barred from the face of God unless I + change. But how can one pretend to believe what seems to him childish + and devoid alike of historical and rational foundations?" + [Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., + book review by Holmes for Time] +% +"The Pope put his foot on the neck of kings, but Calvin + and his cohorts crushed the whole human race under their + heels in the name of the Lord of Hosts." + [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., address to the + Massachusetts Medical Society, May 30, 1860] +% +"Rough work, iconoclasm, but the only way to get at truth." + [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., 1860] +% +"The man who is always worrying whether or not his soul would + be damned generally has a soul that isn't worth a damn." + [Oliver Wendell Holmes] +% +"(But) in these torments endured by the faithful, Wendell Holmes had no + part. To him it mattered not that Darwin made the Garden of Eden a myth + and Jonah's whale a monster to frighten children... For Holmes the core had + been taken out of Christian theology a generation ago, when the Unitarians + disavowed the doctrine of original sin. Man lost his fear of hell-fire - + and on that day gave back Christian doctrine to the preacher as irrelevant + to life. After that, disbelief in Genesis I was a small thing. Wendall + Holmes had achieved it without the least struggle. He was born to it." + [Oliver Wendell Holmes, from "Yankee From + Olympus - Justice Holmes and His Family," + 1945, by Catherine Drinker Bowen] +% +"We are all tattooed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe; the + record may seem superficial, but it is indelible. You cannot educate + a man wholly out of the superstitious fears which were implanted in + his imagination, no matter how utterly his reason may reject them." + [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., "The Poet + at the Breakfast Table" (1878)] +% +"You never need think you can turn over any old falsehoods without a + terrible squirming of the horrid little population that dwells under it." + [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.] +% +"The universe is not hostile, nor yet is + it friendly. It is simply indifferent." + [John H. Holmes, A Sensible + Man's View of Religion, 1933] +% +"The whole Bible was written by slave owners, and for slave owners. There + is no hint of criticism of slavery anywhere in that book. Jesus made no + objection to mistreatment of slaves. He indicated that selling of debtors + into slavery would be continued his forthcoming kingdom of heaven as well + as masters having the right to beat their slaves and put them to torture." + [Merrill Holste, "Slavery and the Bible", article in + the May 1986 issue of American Atheist Magazine] +% +"Atheism deprives superstition of its stand ground, + & compels Theism to reason for its existence." + [George Jacob Holyoake, "Origin + and Nature of Secularism"] +% +"The Questioning Spirit, whose curiosity has for its wholesome object the + verification of truth, is the most effectual instrument of knowledge + available to mankind. A well-directed question is like a pickaxe - it + liberates the gold from the superincumbent quartz. Whole systems of error + sometimes fall to the ground from the force of unanswerable questions. + All error has contradiction in it, which is revealed by a relevant inquiry, + when an artillery of counter assertions might not disclose it. Arguments + may be evaded, but a fair and pertinent question creates no animosity, + and must answered, since silence is a confession of error or of ignorance." + [George Jacob Holyoake, "Introduction" to + _A New Catechism_ by M. M. Mangasarian] +% +"For myself, I flee the Bible as a viper, + and revolt at the touch of a Christian." + [George Jacob Holyoake, from "The History of + the Last trial by Jury for Atheism," 1851] +% +"Our national debt already hangs like a millstone round the poor man's neck, + and our national church and general religious institutions cost us, upon + accredited computation, about 20 millions annually. Worship being thus + expensive, I appeal to your heads and your pocketbooks whether we are not + too poor to have a God? If poor men cost the state as much, they would be + put like officers upon half-pay, and while our distress lasts I think it + would be wise to do the same thing with deity." + [George Jacob Holyoake, from "The History of + the Last trial by Jury for Atheism," 1851] +% +"...it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the + existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great + systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative + hypothesis of an extremely low order of probability." + [Sidney Hook] +% +"...maybe it will encourage people to pray and they will become Christian." + [Rep. Ferry Hooper Jr. (R-Montgomery) on the "Alabama Live" + show, Nov. 20, 1997, exposing the true motive of his bill + requiring all students to participate in a daily moment of + "quiet reflection" at the beginning of each class day] +% +"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?" + [Art Hoppe] +% +"The causal argument is not merely invalid but self-contradictory: the + conclusion, which says that something (God) does not have a cause, + contradicts the premise, which says that everything must have a cause. If + that premise is true, the conclusion cannot be true; and if the conclusion + is true, the premise cannot be. Many people do not at once see this because + they use the argument to get to God, and then having arrived where they want + to go, they forget all about the argument...if the conclusion contradicts + its own premise, we have the most damming indictment of an argument that we + could possibly have: that it is self-contradictory." + [John Hospers, "An Introduction to Philosophical Analysis," 1967] +% +"...And malt does more than Milton can + To justify God's ways to man" + [A. E. Housman] +% +"This right here is the work of the Lord." + [John Howard, owner of the Laurens, SC + "The Redneck Shop & Ku Klux Klan Museum" + from Nov 14, 1996 ed. of the CNN web page] +% +"A mail order bride: 15 shekels (Hosea 3:2) + A horse from Egypt: 150 shekels (2 Chronicles 1:17) + A chariot from Egypt: 600 shekels (2 Chronicle 1:17) + Raping a virgin: 50 shekels (Deuteronomy 22:28) + Knowing that you can get away with rape: Priceless." + [Yang Hu] +% +"A mystic is a person who is puzzled before the + obvious but who understands the nonexistent." + [Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) + American author, editor, publisher] +% +"Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination." + [Elbert Hubbard, "The Notebook", 1927] +% +"Men whose lives are doubtful want a + strong government and a hot religion." + [Elbert Hubbard] +% +"Orthodoxy is a corpse that does not know it is dead." + [Elbert Hubbard, "Epigrams"] +% +"The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: be satisfied + with your opinions and content with your knowledge." + [Elbert Hubbard, "The Philistine"] +% +"A Miracle: an event described by those to whom + it was told by men who did not see it." + [Elbert Hubbard] +% +"If you can't answer a man's arguments, all + is not lost; you can still call him vile names." + [Elbert Hubbard] +% +"Formal religion was organized for slaves: it offered + them consolation which earth did not provide." + [Elbert Hubbard, "The Philistine"] +% +"Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand + it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner." + [Elbert Hubbard] +% +"An ounce of performance is worth more than a pound of preachment." + [Elbert Hubbard] +% +"Falling in love is the beginning of all wisdom, all sympathy, + all compassion, all art, all religion; and in its larger sense + is the one thing in life worth doing." + [Elbert Hubbard] +% +"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and + tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit." + [Kin Hubbard] +% +"The way to make money is to start your own religion." + [L. Ron Hubbard, 1954] +% +"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to + make a million dolars, the best way would be to start his own religion." + [Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, 1949, then just a science + fiction writer. Quoted in the New York Times, July 11, 1984, + from James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief] +% +"In any event, any person from 2.0 down on the Tone Scale should + not have, in any thinking society, any civil rights of any kind." + [L. Ron Hubbard] +% +"If you hypothesize that there is a God, but that there is nothing sure + and definite you can point to as a reliable pattern of things that God + does, how does a state of affairs where a God does nothing, functions + in no way, differ from a state of affairs where there is no God? And, + if the situation is that there is a God, and this God does nothing that + humans can surely identify as God-action - in contradistinction from + other action, physical/chemical/biological/psychological/social -- then + how can any human being ever have warrant for affirming God?" + [C. Lee Hubbell, The American Rationalist, Oct '94] +% +"The primary tool of science is skepticism, + whose light shrivels unquestioning faith." + [Mike Huben] +% +"No man has the right to have his own religion." + [Bishop Hughes, "Official Journal + of Bishops", Jan. 26 1852] +% +"Many good souls protest against a destructive criticism of Christianity and + demand a substitute. I do not feel any obligation to substitute a new god + for the old ones. I should gladly let them all go. I do not approve of + cancer, and yet I do not feel that I have no right to attack a quack who + promises a false cure until I have no real cure to propose. As someone + said: he who helps destroy the boll-weevil has done as constructive work + as he who plants the seed." + [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church", + New York, Freethought Press Assn., 1924] +% +"It is well said that "eternal vigilance is the price of liberty," and I am + confirmed every day in my intense conviction that the church as the church is + the enemy of freedom. While protesting loudly its faith in the Truth with + a capital T, "the truth shall make us free," it fights at every step every + effort to learn the truth and publish it and be guided by it." + [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church", + New York, Freethought Press Assn., 1924] +% +"John Wesley said that if you give up the witchcraft, you must + give up the Bible. He is right. The choice is easy for me." + [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church", + New York, Freethought Press Assn., 1924] +% +"According to the Bible, God was ignorant, a ruthless liar and cheat; + he broke his pledges, changed his mind so often that he grew weary of + repenting. He was a murderer of children, ordered his people to slay, + rape, steal, and lie and commit every foul and filthy abomination in + human power. In fact, the more I read the Bible the less I find in it + that is either credible or admirable." + [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church," 1924] +% +"And this David! He was such a villain as I should never dare use in the + most melodramatic novel. His crimes are peculiarly despicable and versatile, + from his earliest exploits to his later sex-manias, including the foul + treatment of a soldier whose wife he desired, and his habit of warming his + chill frame with a fresh girl every night. He was a traitor, an indefatigable + liar, he drove women children through burning brick kilns or tore them to + pieces with harrows, he sawed them in two and on hid death-bed left + instructions to kill a devoted man whom he had sworn to protect." + [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church," 1924] +% +"Hell is an outrage on humanity. When you tell me that your Deity + made you in his own image, I reply that he must have been very ugly." + [Victor Hugo, quoted in Cardiff, + "What Great Men Think of Religion"] +% +"No deity will save us, we must save ourselves. Promises of immortal + salvation or fear of eternal damnation are both illusory and harmful." + [Humanist Manifesto II, Prometheus Books, 1973] +% +"...but I would still reply, that the knavery and folly of men + are such common phenomena, that I should rather believe the most + extraordinary events to arise from their concurrence, than admit + of so signal a violation of the laws of nature." + ["An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding", David Hume, 10:2:30] +% +"There is not to be found, in all history any miracle attested by a + sufficient number of men, of such unquestioned goodness, education, and + learning as to secure us against all delusion in themselves; of such + undoubted integrity as to place them beyond all suspicion of any design to + deceive others; of such credit and reputation in the eyes of mankind as to + have a great deal to lose in case of their being detected in any falsehood; + and at the same time attesting facts, performed in such a public manner, and + in so celebrated a part of the world, as to render the detection unavoidable." + [David Hume, "Of Miracles", from An Enquiry + Concerning Human Understanding, 1748] +% +"The Christian religion not only was at first attended with miracles, but + even at this day cannot be believed by any reasonable person without one." + [David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, 1748] +% +"In the infancy of new religions, the wise and learned commonly esteem the + matter too inconsiderable to deserve their attention or regard. And when + afterwards they would willingly detect the cheat, in order to undeceive the + deluded multitude, the season is now past, and the records and witnesses, + which might clear up the matter, have perished beyond recovery." + [David Hume, "Of Miracles"] +% +"Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; + those in philosophy only ridiculous." + [David Hume, Treatise of Human Nature (1739)] +% +"No testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the + testimony be of such a kind, that its falsehood would be more + miraculous than the fact which it endeavors to establish." + [David Hume, "Of Miracles", from An Enquiry + Concerning Human Understanding, 1748] +% +"The weakness of the body and that of the mind in infancy are exactly + proportioned; their vigour in manhood, their sympathetic disorder in + sickness, their common gradual decay in old age. The step further + seems unavoidable; their common dissolution in death." + [David Hume (1771-1776) "Of the Immortality of the Soul"] +% +"All that belongs to human understanding, in this deep ignorance + and obscurity, is to be skeptical, or at least cautious; and not + to admit of any hypothesis, whatsoever; much less, of any which + is supported by no appearance of probability." + [David Hume] +% +"The many instances of forged miracles, and prophecies, and supernatural + events, which, in all ages, have either been detected by contrary evidence, + or which detect themselves by their absurdity, prove sufficiently the strong + propensity of mankind to the extraordinary and marvellous, and ought + reasonably to begat a suspicion against all relations of this kind." + [David Hume, "Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding" 1748] +% +"Men dare not avow, even to their own hearts, the doubts which they + entertain on such subjects. They make a merit of implicit faith; and + disguise to themselves their real infidelity, by the strongest + asseverations and the most positive bigotry." + [David Hume, on doctrinaire religions] +% +"When I hear a man is religious, I conclude that he is a rascal, + although I have known some instances of very good men being religious." + [David Hume, Scottish philosopher + and historian (1711-1776)] +% +"If we take in hand any volume-- of divinity or school metaphysics, for + instance,-- let us ask, Does it contain any abstract reasoning concerning + quantity or number? No. Does it contain any experimental reasoning + concerning matters of fact and existence? No. Commit it then to the + flames, for it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion." + [David Hume, "An Inquiry Concerning Human Understanding"] +% +"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence." + [David Hume, "An Inquiry + Concerning Human Understanding"] +% +"Nor is it possible to explain distinctly, how the Deity can + be the mediate cause of all the actions of men, without being + the author of sin and moral turpitude." + [David Hume, "An Enquiry Concerning + Human Understanding" 1748] +% +"The believer is happy; the doubter is wise." + [Hungarian proverb] +% +A fools prayer: + +Dear Lord, +Please help us not to be blasphemers. +In Jesus name we pray.... + + [Bill Huston] +% +"The Meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to + devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation. + --Lew Mammel, Jr. + +"One fails the Inverse-Meta-Turing test if one conceives of a Creator, + but does not attempt to devise an intelligence test for It/Him. One + also fails if the concept of the Creator remains unchanged as the + result of the test. + [Bill Huston] +% +"Extinguished theologians lie about the cradle of every science, + as the strangled snakes beside that of Hercules." + [Huxley] +% +"If we must play the theological game, let us never forget + that it is a game. Religion, it seems to me, can survive + only as a consciously accepted system of make believe." + [Aldous Huxley, "Time Must Have a Stop"] +% +"You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible + fooleries of magic and religion. Only man behaves with such gratuitous + folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, + as yet, quite intelligent enough." + [Aldous Huxley] +% +"History reveals that the Church and the State as a pair + of indispensable Molochs. they protect their worshipping + subjects, only to enslave and destroy them." + [Aldous Huxley, Themes in Variations, 1950] +% +"Luckily the majority of nominal Christians has at no time taken + the Christian ideal very seriously; if it had, the races and the + civilization of the West would long ago have come to an end." + [Aldous Huxley, in Cardiff, "What + Great Men Think of Religion"] +% +"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." + [Aldous Huxley, "Proper Studies"] +% +"What is the easiest way for a skeptic to achieve faith? The question was + answered three hundred years ago by Pascal. The unbeliever must act 'as + though he believed, take holy water, have masses said etc. This will + naturally cause you to believe and will besot you.' (Cela vous abetira-- + literally, will make you stupid.) We have to be made stupid, insist Professor + Jacques Chevalier, defending his hero against the critics who have been + shocked by Pascal's blunt language; we have to stultify our intelligence, + because 'intellectual pride deprives us of God and debases us to the level of + animals.' Which is, of course, perfectly true. But it does not follow from + this truth that we ought to besot ourselves in the manner prescribed by + Pascal and all the propagandists of all religions. Intellectual pride can + be cured only by devaluating pretentious words, only by getting rid of + conceptualized pseudo-knowledge and opening ourselves to reality. Artificial + piety based on conditioned reflexes merely transfers intellectual pride from + the bumptious individual to his even more bumptious Church. At one remove, + the pride remains intact. For the convinced believer, understanding or direct + contact with reality is exceedingly difficult. Moreover, the mere fact of + having a strong reverential feeling about some hallowed thing, person or + proposition is no guarantee of the existence of the thing, the infallibility + of the person or truth of the proposition." + [Aldous Huxley, "Knowledge and Understanding"] +% +"The effectiveness of political and religious propaganda depends upon + the methods employed, not on the doctrine taught. These doctrines may + be true or false, wholesome or pernicious-it makes little or no + difference...Under favorable conditions, practically everybody can be + converted to practically anything." + [Aldous Huxley, "Brave New World Revisited," 1958] +% +"The solution...would seem to lie in dismantling the theistic edifice, which + will no longer bear the weight of the universe as enlarged by recent science, + and attempting to find new outlets for the religious spirit. God, in any but + a purely philosophical, and one is almost tempted to say Pickwickian sense, + turns out to be a product of the human mind. As an independent or unitary + being active in the affairs of the universe, he does not exist." + [Julian Huxley, "Science, Religion and Human + Nature," Conway Memorial Lecture, 1930] +% +"Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler + but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat." + [Sir Julian Huxley] +% +"The sense of spiritual relief which comes from rejecting + the idea of God as a supernatural being is enormous." + [Sir Julian Huxley. "Religion Without Revelation"] +% +"...any belief in supernatural creators, rulers, or influencers of + natural or human process introduces an irreparable split into the + universe, and prevents us from grasping its real unity. Any belief + in Absolutes, whether the absolute validity of moral commandments, + of authority of revelation, of inner certitudes, or of divine + inspiration, erects a formidable barrier against progress and the + responsibility of improvement, moral, rational, and religious." + [Sir Julian Huxley] +% +"We should be agnostic about those things for which there is no + evidence. We should not hold beliefs merely because they gratify + our desires for afterlife, immortality, heaven, hell, etc." + [Sir Julian Sorell Huxley, (1887-1975) English biologist + and author, from "Religion without Revelation"] +% +"I use the word "Humanist" to mean someone who believes that man is just as + much a natural phenomenon as an animal or a plant; that his body, mind or + soul were not supernaturally created but are products of evolution, and that + he is not under the control or guidance of any supernatural being, but has + to rely on himself and his own powers." + [Julian Huxley, "The Humanist Frame," 1961] +% +"That it is wrong for a man to say that he is certain of the objective + truth of any proposition unless he can produce evidence which logically + justifies that certainty. This is what Agnosticism asserts; and, in my + opinion, it is all that is essential to Agnosticism. That which Agnostics + deny and repudiate, as immoral, is the contrary doctrine, that there are + propositions which men ought to believe, without logically satisfactory + evidence; and that reprobation ought to attach to the profession of + disbelief in such inadequately supported propositions." + [Thomas H. Huxley, "Agnosticism and Christianity," + 1889, Prometheus Publications p. 193] +% +"The dogma of the infallibility of the Bible is no more + self-evident than is that of the infallibility of the popes." + [Thomas H. Huxley, "Controverted Questions," 1892] +% +"The Bible account of the creation of Eve is a preposterous fable." + [Thomas Huxley, English biologist] +% +"Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors." + [Thomas H. Huxley (1825-1895), English biologist and + advocate of Darwin's natural selection theory] +% +"Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or + believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe." + [Thomas Huxley, from Cardiff, + "What Great Men Think of Religion"] +% +"The foundation of morality is to... give up pretending to believe + that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible + propositions about things beyond the possibilities of knowledge." + [Thomas Huxley] +% +"...inclined to think that not far from the + invention of fire must rank the invention of doubt" + [Thomas Huxley] +% +"The only question which a wise man can ask himself is whether a + doctrine is true or false. Consequences will take care of themselves." + [Thomas Henry Huxley, English biologist (1825-1895)] +% +"...I can but admire the courage and clear foresight of the Anglican divine + who tells us that we must be prepared to choose between the trustworthiness + of scientific method and the trustworthiness of that which the Church + declares to be Divine authority. For, to my mind, this declaration of war + to the knife against secular science, even in its most elementary form this + rejection, without a moment's hesitation, of any and all evidence which + conflicts with theological dogma--is the only position which is logically + reconcilable with the axioms of orthodoxy." + [Thomas H. Huxley, "Science And Hebrew Tradition Essays", pp. 229,230] +% +"Cinderella [Science]... lights the fire, sweeps the house, and provides the + dinner; and is rewarded by being told that she is a base creature, devoted + to low and material interests. But in her garret she has fairy visions out + of the ken of the pair of shrews [Theology and Philosophy] who are quarrelling + downstairs. She sees the order which pervades the seeming disorder of the + world; the great drama of evolution, with its full share of pity and terror, + but also with abundant goodness and beauty... ; and she learns... that the + foundation of morality is to [be] done, once and for all, with lying; to give + up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence." + [Thomas H. Huxley] +% +"I do not say think as I think, but think in my way. Fear no shadows, + least of all in that great spectre of personal unhappiness which + binds half the world to orthodoxy." + [Thomas H. Huxley] +% +"...claiming my right to follow whethersoever science should lead... + it is as respectable to be modified monkey as modified dirt." + [Thomas H. Huxley] +% +"No one who has lived in the world as long as you & I have, can entertain + the pious delusion that it is engineered upon principles of benevolence... + the cosmos remains always beautiful and profoundly interesting in every corner + -- and if I had as many lives as a cat I would leave no corner unexplored." + [Thomas H. Huxley] +% +"Science... warns me to be careful how I adopt a view which jumps + with my preconceptions, and to require stronger evidence for such + belief than for one to which I was previously hostile. My business + is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to + try and make facts harmonize with my aspirations." + [Thomas Huxley, 1960] +% +"If then the question is put to me, would I rather have a miserable ape + for a grandfather or a man highly endowed by nature and possessing great + means and influence and yet who employs those faculties and that influence + for the mere purpose of introducing ridicule into grave scientific + discussion, I unhesitatingly affirm my preference for the ape." + [Thomas H. Huxley, Reply to Bishop Wilberforce, + who asked if he was descended form an ape on + his mother's side or his father's side.] +% +"What are among the moral convictions most fondly held by barbarous and + semi-barbarous people? They are the convictions that authority is the + soundest basis of belief; that merit attaches to readiness to believe; + that doubting disposition is a bad one, and skepticism a sin; that when + good authority has pronounced what is to be believed, and faith has + accepted it, reason has no further duty." + [Thomas H. Huxley, in Cardiff, + "What Great Men Think of Religion"] +% +"The improver of natural knowledge absolutely refuses to acknowledge + authority, as such. For him, skepticism is the highest of duties; + blind faith the one unpardonable sin." + [Thomas H. Huxley, in Cardiff, + "What Great Men Think of Religion"] +% +"The church founded by Jesus has not made its way; has not + permeated the world--but did become extinct in the country + of its birth--as Nazarenism and Ebionism." + [Thomas H. Huxley, Letter to Robert Taylor, June 3, 1889] +% +"The belief in a demonic world is inculcated throughout the Gospels + and the rest of the books of the New Testament; it pervades the whole + patristic literature; it colors the theory and the practice of every + Christian church down to modern times." + [Thomas H. Huxley, "Controverted Questions," 1892] +% +"I neither deny nor affirm the immortality of man. I see no reason for + believing in it, but on the other hand, I have no means of disproving it." + [Thomas H. Huxley, Letter to Charles Kingsley, 1860] +% +"The known is finite, the unknown is infinite; intellectually we stand + on an islet in the midst of an illimitable ocean of inexplicability. + Our business in every generation is to reclaim a little more land." + [Thomas H. Huxley] +% +"Orthodoxy is the Bourbon of the world of thought. + It learns not, neither can it forget." + [Thomas H. Huxley, in Cardiff, + "What Great Men Think of Religion"] +% +"What we call rational grounds for our beliefs are often + extremely irrational attempts to justify our instincts." + [Thomas H. Huxley, "On the Natural Inequality of Man," 1890] +% +"I have no faith, very little hope, and as much charity as I can afford." + [Thomas H. Huxley, in Cardiff, "What Great men think of Religion"] +% +"The clerics and their lay allies commonly tell us, that if we refuse to + admit that there is good ground for expressing definite convictions about + certain topics, the bonds of human society will dissolve and mankind lapse + into savagery. There are several answers to this assertion. One is that + the bonds of human society were formed without the aid of their theology; + and, in the opinion of not a few competent judges, have been weakened rather + than strengthened by a good deal of it. Greek science, Greek art, the ethics + of old Israel, the social organisation of old Rome, contrived to come into + being, without the help of any one who believed in a single distinctive + article of the simplest of the Christian creeds. The science, the art, + the jurisprudence, the chief political and social theories, of the modern + world have grown out of those of Greece and Rome-not by favour of, but in + the teeth of, the fundamental teachings of early Christianity, to which + science, art, and any serious occupation with the things of this world, + were alike despicable." + [Thomas Huxley, "Agnosticism and Christianity" 1889] + http://aleph0.clarku.edu/huxley/CE5/Agn-X.html +% +"To rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment + in another world, is just as base as to use force." + [Hypatia (c. 370-415 CE), Alexandrian mathematician, + murdered by a Christian mob in 415 CE] +% +"Nowhere is there an account or portrait of Christ laughing. . .he is always + stern, serious and as gloomy as a prison guard. Never does one see him + laughing until tears appear in his eyes like the roly-poly squint-eyed + Buddha guffawing with arms upraised..." + [I.R.] +% +"Call on God, but row away from the rocks." + [Indian proverb] +% +"To become a popular religion, it is only necessary + for a superstition to enslave a philosophy." + [William Ralph Inge, 1920] +% +"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our + distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were + able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form. + [William Ralph Inge] +% +"The church is only a secular institution in which + the half-educated speak to the half-converted." + [William Ralph Inge] +% +"December 25th is the birthday, not of Christ, but of Mithra, the + Invincible Sun. Isis of many names has acquired a new one as the Madonna." + [William R. Inge] +% +"Miracle is a bastard child of faith and reason, + which neither parent can afford to own." + [William R. Inge] +% +"We are not endeavoring to chain the future but to free the present. ...We + are the advocates of inquiry, investigation, and thought. ...It is grander + to think and investigate for yourself than to repeat a creed. ... I look + for the day when *reason*, throned upon the world's brains, shall be the + King of Kings and the God of Gods." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872] +% +"I honestly believe that the doctrine of hell was born in the glittering eyes + of snakes that run in frightful coils watching for their prey. I believe + it was born with the yelping, howling, growling and snarling of wild beasts... + I despise it with every drop of my blood." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child" 1877] +% +"An honest god is the noblest work of man. ... God has always resembled + his creators. He hated and loved what they hated and loved and he was + invariably found on the side of those in power. ... Most of the gods + were pleased with sacrifice, and the smell of innocent blood has ever + been considered a divine perfume." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872] +% +"To hate man and worship god seems to be the sum of all the creeds." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses" 1879] +% +"..Infidels in all ages have battled for the rights of man, and have + at all times been the fearless advocates of liberty and justice..." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872] +% +"I have little confidence in any enterprise or business or investment + that promises dividends only after the death of the stockholders." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Wooden God" letter + to the Chicago Times, March 27, 1890] +% +"The hands that help are better far than the lips that pray." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Devil" 1899] +% +"The Declaration of Independence announces the sublime truth that all + power comes from the people. This was a denial, and the first denial + of a nation, of the infamous dogma that God confers the right upon + one man to govern others." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality" 1873] +% + "With soap, baptism is a good thing." +[Robert G. Ingersoll, "My Reviewers Reviewed" + lecture in San Francisco, June 27, 1877] +% +"Nothing can exceed the mendacity of the religious press. I have had some + little experience with political editors, and am forced to say, that until + I read the religious papers, I did not know what malicious and slimy + falsehoods could be constructed from ordinary words. The ingenuity with + which the real and apparent meaning can be tortured out of language is + simply amazing. The average religious editor is intolerant and insolent... + and always accounts for the brave and generous actions of unbelievers by + low, base, and unworthy motives." + ["The Ghosts", Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p.260] +% +"It is contended by many that ours is a Christian government, founded upon + the Bible, and that all who look upon that book as false or foolish are + destroying the foundation of our country. The truth is, our government is + not founded upon the rights of gods, but upon the rights of men. Our + Constitution was framed, not to declare and uphold the deity of Christ, but + the sacredness of humanity. Ours is the first government made by the people + for the people. It is the only nation with which the gods have nothing to + do. And yet there are some judges dishonest and cowardly enough to solemly + decide that this is a Christian country, and that our free institutions are + based upon the infamous laws of Jehovah." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality" 1873] +% +"I combat those only who, knowing nothing of the future, prophesy an eternity + of pain- those who sow the seeds of fear in the hearts of men- those only + who poison all the springs of life, and seat a skeleton at every feast." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Field-Ingersoll + Debate, Letter to Dr. Field. 1887] +% +"He who commends the brutalities of the past, + sows the seeds of future crimes." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Ingersoll-Gladstone + debate, response to Wm. Gladstone, 1888] +% +"A crime against god is a demonstrated impossibility." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Second + Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882] +% +"Orthodoxy cannot afford to put out the fires of hell." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy" 1884] +% +"By the efforts of these infidels, the name of God was left out + of the Constitution of the United States. They knew that if an + infinite being was put in, no room would be left for the people." + They knew that if any church was made the mistress of the state, + that mistress, like all others, would corrupt, weaken, and destroy." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels" + 1881, in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 3, p. 382] +% +"Every pulpit is a pillory, in which stands a hired culprit, + defending the justice of his own imprisonment." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality" 1873] +% +"If priests had not been fond of mutton, lambs never would have been sacrified + to god. Nothing was ever carried to the temple that the priest could not use, + and it always happened that god wanted what his agents liked." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Christmas Sermon" + printed in Evening Telegraph, Dec. 19, 1891] +% +"The inspiration of the Bible depends on the credulity of him who reads." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion" Sec. III, + The Ingersoll-Black Debate, (New York) April 25, 1881] +% +"It cannot be too often repeated, that truth scorns the assistance of miracle." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion" + Sec. III, The Ingersoll-Black Debate, 1881] +% +"We are told in the Pentateuch, that god, the father of us all, gave + thousands of maidens, after having killed their fathers, their mothers, + and their brothers, to satisfy the brutal lusts of savage men. If there + be a god, I pray him to write in his book, opposite my name, that I + denied this lie for him." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Few Reasons for + Doubting the Inspiration of the Bible"] +% +"If a man would follow, to-day, the teachings of the Old Testament, + he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings + of the New, he would be insane." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Third + Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882] +% +"The intellectual advancement of man depends on how often + he can exchange an old superstition for a new truth." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872] +% +"We are not accountable for the sins of "Adam" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Myth and Miracle" 1885] +% +"If Christ, in fact, said "I came not to bring peace but a sword," it is + the only prophecy in the New Testament that has been literally fulfilled." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why" 1881] +% +"Religion supports nobody. It has to be supported. It produces no wheat, + no corn; it ploughs no land; it fells no forests. It is a perpetual + mendicant. It lives on the labors of others, and then has the arrogance + to pretend that it supports the giver." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Christmas Sermon" + printed in Evening Telegraph, Dec. 19, 1891] +% +"We have heard talk enough. We have listened to all the drowsy, idealess, + vapid sermons that we wish to hear. We have read your Bible and the works + of your best minds. We have heard your prayers, your solemn groans and your + reverential amens. All these amount to less than nothing. We want one fact. + We beg at the doors of your churches for just one little fact. We pass our + hats along your pews and under your pulpits and implore you for just one fact. + We know all about your mouldy wonders and your stale miracles. We want a + 'this year's fact'. We ask only one. Give us one fact for charity. Your + miracles are too ancient. The witnesses have been dead for nearly two + thousand years. Their reputation for 'truth and veracity' in the neighborhood + where they resided is wholly unknown to us. Give us a new miracle, and + substantiate it by witnesses who still have the cheerful habit of living this + world. Do not send us to Jericho to hear the winding horns, nor put us in the + fire with Shadrach, Meshech and Abednego. Do not compel us to navigate the sea + with Captain Jonah, nor dine with Mr. Ezekiel. There is no sort of use in + sending us fox-hunting with Samson. We have positively lost all interest in + that little speech so eloquently delivered by Balaam's inspired donkey. It is + worse than useless to show us fishes with money in their mouths, and call our + attention to vast multitudes stuffing themselves with five crackers and two + sardines. We demand a new miracle, and we demand it now. + Let the church furnish at least one, or forever hold her peace." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872] +% +"Ministers say that they teach charity. That is natural. They + live on alms. All beggars teach that others should give." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Truth" 1897] +% +"This crime called blasphemy was invented by priests for the + purpose of defending doctrines not able to take care of themselves." + [Robert G. Ingersoll], "An Interview on Chief + Justice Comegys", Brooklyn Eagle, 1881] +% +"The real oppressor, enslaver, and corrupter of the people is the Bible. + That book is the chain that binds, the dungeon that holds the clergy. + That book spreads the pall of superstition over the colleges and schools. + That book puts out the eyes of science, and makes honest investigation + a crime. That book fills the world with bigotry, hypocrisy and fear." + [_Some Mistakes of Moses_, Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 2 p. 43] +% +"Theology is not what we know about God, but what we do not know about Nature. + In order to increase our respect for the Bible, it became necessary for the + priests to exalt and extol that book, and at the same time to decry and + belittle the reasoning powers of man. The whole power of the pulpit has + been used for hundreds of years to destroy the confidence of man in himself-- + to induce him to distrust his own powers of thought, to believe that he was + wholly unable to decide any question for himself, and that all human virtue + consists in faith and obedience. The church has said 'Believe and obey!' + If you reason you will become an unbeliever, and unbelievers will be lost. + If you disobey, you will do so through vain pride and curiosity, and will, + like Adam and Eve, be thrust from Paradise forver! For my part, I care + nothing for what the church says, except in so far as it accords with my + reason; and the Bible is nothing to me, only in so far as it agrees with + what I think or know." + [_Some Mistakes of Moses_, Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 2 p. 53] +% +"Blasphemy is an epithet bestowed by superstition upon common sense." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Second Interview on Rev. + Talmadge, 1882, in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 5, p. 49] +% +"Calvin founded a little theocracy, modeled after the Old Testament, and + succeeded in erecting the most detestable government that ever existed, + except the one from which it was copied." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies" + Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 226] +% +"That church [Catholic] teaches us that we can + make God happy by being miserable ourselves..." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved?" + 1880, in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 492] +% +"..if all the bones of all the victims of the Catholic Church could be + gathered together, a monument higher than all the pyramids would rise..." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved?" + 1880, in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 497] +% +"Take from the church the miraculous, the supernatural, the incomprehensible, + the unreasonable, the impossible, the unknowable, the absurd, and nothing + but a vacuum remains." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877, + in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 285] +% +"Give the church a place in the Constitution, let her touch once more the + sword of power, and the priceless fruit of all ages will turn to ashes + on the lips of men." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873, + in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 203, and + from letter to Houston Post, Aug. 17, 1866] +% +"Suppose, however, that God did give this law to the Jews, and did tell them + that whenever a man preached a heresy, or proposed to worship any other God + that they should kill him; and suppose that afterward this same God took + upon himself flesh, and came to this very chosen people and taught a + different religion, and that thereupon the Jews crucified him; I ask you, + did he not reap exactly what he had sown? What right would this god have to + complain of a crucifixion suffered in accordance with his own command?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", + in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 2, p. 259] +% +"Heresy is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin." + [Robert Ingersoll, "Heretics + and Heresies", 1874] +% +"God so loved the world that he made up his mind + to damn a large majority of the human race." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why + I Am An Agnostic", 1876] +% +"EACH nation has created a god, and the god has always resembled his creators. + He hated and loved what they hated and loved, and he was invariably found on + the side of those in power. Each god was intensely patriotic, and detested + all nations but his own. All these gods demanded praise, flattery, and + worship. Most of them were pleased with sacrifice, and the smell of innocent + blood has ever been considered a divine perfume. All these gods have insisted + upon having a vast number of priests, and the priests have always insisted + upon being supported by the people, and the principal business of these + priests has been to boast about their god, and to insist that he could easily + vanquish all the other gods put together." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Most of these gods were revengeful, savage, lustful, and + ignorant. As they generally depended upon their priests for + information, their ignorance can hardly excite our astonishment." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"These gods did not even know the shape of the worlds they had created, but + supposed them perfectly flat. Some thought the day could be lengthened by + stopping the sun, that the blowing of horns could throw down the walls of + a city, and all knew so little of the real nature of the people they had + created, that they commanded the people to love them. Some were so ignorant + as to suppose that man could believe just as he might desire, or as they + might command, and that to be governed by observation, reason, and experience + was a most foul and damning sin. None of these gods could give a true account + of the creation of this little earth. All were woefully deficient in geology + and astronomy. As a rule, they were most miserable legislators, and as + executives, they were far inferior to the average of American presidents." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"These deities have demanded the most abject and degrading obedience. + In order to please them, man must lay his very face in the dust. Of + course, they have always been partial to the people who created them, + and have generally shown their partiality by assisting those people + to rob and destroy others, and to ravish their wives and daughters." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Nothing is so pleasing to these gods as the butchery of unbelievers. + Nothing so enrages them, even now, as to have someone deny their existence." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Few nations have been so poor as to have but one god. Gods were made + so easily, and the raw material cost so little, that generally the god + market was fairly glutted, and heaven crammed with these phantoms." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"When the people failed to worship one of these gods, or failed to feed and + clothe his priests, (which was much the same thing,) he generally visited + them with pestilence and famine. Sometimes he allowed some other nation to + drag them into slavery -- to sell their wives and children; but generally + he glutted his vengeance by murdering their firstborn. The priests always + did their whole duty, not only in predicting these calamities, but in + proving, when they did happen, that they were brought upon the people + because they had not given quite enough to them." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"We are asked to justify these frightful passages, these infamous laws of war, + because the Bible is the word of God. As a matter of fact, there never was, + and there never can be, an argument even tending to prove the inspiration of + any book whatever. In the absence of positive evidence, analogy and + experience, argument is simply impossible, and at the very best, can amount + only to a useless agitation of the air. The instant we admit that a book is + too sacred to be doubted, or even reasoned about, we are mental serfs. It is + infinitely absurd to suppose that a god would Address a communication to + intelligent beings, and yet make it a crime, to be punished in eternal + flames, for them to use their intelligence for the purpose of understanding + his communication. If we have the right to use our reason, we certainly have + the right to act in accordance with it, and no god can have the right to + punish us for such action." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"The book, called the Bible, is filled with passages equally horrible, unjust + and atrocious. This is the book to be read in schools in order to make our + children loving, kind and gentle! This is the book they wish to be recognized + in our Constitution as the source of all authority and justice!" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"And we are called upon to worship such a God; to get upon our knees and tell + him that he is good, that he is merciful, that he is just, that he is love. + We are asked to stifle every noble sentiment of the soul, and to trample + under foot all the sweet charities of the heart. Because we refuse to stultify + ourselves -- refuse to become liars -- we are denounced, hated, traduced and + ostracized here, and this same god threatens to torment us in eternal fire + the moment death allows him to fiercely clutch our naked helpless souls. Let + the people hate, let the god threaten -- we will educate them, and we will + despise and defy the god." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"The doctrine that future happiness depends upon belief is monstrous. It is + the infamy of infamies. The notion that faith in Christ is to be rewarded by + an eternity of bliss, while a dependence upon reason, observation and + experience merits everlasting pain, is too absurd for refutation, and can be + relieved only by that unhappy mixture of insanity and ignorance, called + "faith." What man, who ever thinks, can believe that blood can appease God? + And yet, our entire system of religion is based upon that believe. The Jews + pacified Jehovah with the blood of animals, and according to the Christian + system, the blood of Jesus softened the heart of God a little, and rendered + possible the salvation of a fortunate few. It is hard to conceive how the + human mind can give assent to such terrible ideas, or how any sane man can + read the Bible and still believe in the doctrine of inspiration." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Whether the Bible is true or false, is of no consequence in + comparison with the mental freedom of the race." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Salvation through slavery is worthless. + Salvation from slavery is inestimable." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"As long as man believes the Bible to be infallible, that book + is his master. The civilization of this century is not the child + of faith, but of unbelief -- the result of free thought." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"All that is necessary, as it seems to me, to convince any reasonable person + that the Bible is simply and purely of human invention -- of barbarian + invention -- is to read it. Read it as you would any other book; think of + it as you would of any other; get the bandage of reverence from your eyes; + drive from your heart the phantom of fear; push from the throne of your + brain the coiled form of superstition -- then read the Holy Bible, and you + will be amazed that you ever, for one moment, supposed a being of infinite + wisdom, goodness and purity, to be the author of such ignorance and + of such atrocity." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"The account shows, however, that the gods dreaded education and knowledge + then just as they do now. The church still faithfully guards the dangerous + tree of knowledge, and has exerted in all ages her utmost power to keep + mankind from eating the fruit thereof. The priests have never ceased + repeating the old falsehood and the old threat: "Ye shall not eat of it, + neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die." From every pulpit comes the same + cry, born of the same fear: "Lest they eat and become as gods, knowing good + and evil." For this reason, religion hates science, faith detests reason, + theology is the sworn enemy of philosophy, and the church with its flaming + sword still guards the hated tree, and like its supposed founder, curses to + the lowest depths the brave thinkers who eat and become as gods." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"According to this account the promise of the devil was fulfilled + to the very letter, Adam and Eve did not die, and they did become + as gods, knowing good and evil." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to + thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of + learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears + the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of + inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Give me the storm and tempest of thought and action, rather than the dead + calm of ignorance and faith! Banish me from Eden when you will; but first + let me eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge!" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872 + also quoted in Noyes, "Views of Religion"] +% +"There is but one way to demonstrate the existence of a power independent of + and superior to nature, and that is by breaking, if only for one moment, the + continuity of cause and effect. Pluck from the endless chain of existence one + little link; stop for one instant the grand procession and you have shown + beyond all contradiction that nature has a master. Change the fact, just for + one second, that matter attracts matter, and a god appears. + + The rudest savage has always known this fact, and for that reason always + demanded the evidence of miracle. The founder of a religion must be able to + turn water into wine -- cure with a word the blind and lame, and raise with a + simple touch the dead to life. It was necessary for him to demonstrate to the + satisfaction of his barbarian disciple, that he was superior to nature. In + times of ignorance this was easy to do. The credulity of the savage was + almost boundless. To him the marvelous was the beautiful, the mysterious was + the sublime. Consequently, every religion has for its foundation a miracle -- + that is to say, a violation of nature -- that is to say, a falsehood. + + No one, in the world's whole history, ever attempted to substantiate a + truth by a miracle. Truth scorns the assistance of miracle. Nothing but + falsehood ever attested itself by signs and wonders. No miracle ever was + performed, and no sane man ever thought he had performed one, and until one + is performed, there can be no evidence of the existence of any power superior + to, and independent of nature. + + The church wishes us to believe. Let the church, or one of its + intellectual saints, perform a miracle, and we will believe. We are told + that nature has a superior. Let this superior, for one single instant, + control nature, and we will admit the truth of your assertions." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"In the olden times the church, by violating the order of nature, proved the + existence of her God. At that time miracles were performed with the most + astonishing ease. They became so common that the church ordered her priests + to desist. And now this same church -- the people having found some little + sense -- admits, not only, that she cannot perform a miracle but insists + that the absence of miracle, the steady, unbroken march of cause and effect, + proves the existence of a power superior to nature. The fact is, however, + that the indissoluble chain of cause and effect proves exactly the contrary." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"If we admit that some infinite being has controlled the destinies of persons + and peoples, history becomes a most cruel and bloody farce. Age after age, + the strong have trampled upon the weak; the crafty and heartless have + ensnared and enslaved the simple and innocent, and nowhere, in all the + annals of mankind, has any god succored the oppressed." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Man should cease to expect aid from on high. By this time he + should know that heaven has no ear to hear, and no hand to help. + The present is the necessary child of all the past. There has + been no chance, and there can be no interference." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"If abuses are destroyed, man must destroy them. If slaves are freed, man + must free them. If new truths are discovered, man must discover them. If + the naked are clothed; if the hungry are fed; if justice is done; if labor + is rewarded; if superstition is driven from the mind; if the defenseless + are protected and if the right finally triumphs, all must be the work of man. + The grand victories of the future must be won by man, and by man alone." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Man must learn to rely upon himself. Reading bibles will not + protect him from the blasts of winter, but houses, fires. and + clothing will. To prevent famine, one plow is worth a million + sermons, and even patent medicines will cure more diseases than + all the prayers uttered since the beginning of the world." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"The thoughts of man, in order to be of any real worth, must be free. Under + the influence of fear the brain is paralyzed, and instead of bravely solving + a problem for itself, tremblingly adopts the solution of another. As long as + a majority of men will cringe to the very earth before some petty prince or + king, what must be the infinite abjectness of their little souls in the + presence of their supposed creator and God? Under such circumstances, + what can their thoughts be worth?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"The originality of repetition, and the mental vigor of acquiescence, are + all that we have any right to expect from the Christian world. As long as + every question is answered by the word "God," scientific inquiry is simply + impossible. As fast as phenomena are satisfactorily explained the domain of + the power, supposed to be superior to nature must decrease, while the + horizon of the known must as constantly continue to enlarge." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"According to the theologians, God prepared this globe expressly for the + habitation of his loved children, and yet he filled the forests with + ferocious beasts; placed serpents in every path; stuffed the world with + earthquakes, and adorned its surface with mountains of flame. + + Notwithstanding all this, we are told that the world is perfect; that + it was created by a perfect being, and is therefore necessarily perfect. + The next moment, these same persons will tell us that the world was cursed; + covered with brambles, thistles and thorns, and that man was doomed to + disease and death, simply because our poor, dear mother ate an apple + contrary to the command of an arbitrary God." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"A very pious friend of mine, having heard that I had said the world + was full of imperfections, asked me if the report was true. Upon being + informed that it was, he expressed great surprise that any one could be + guilty of such presumption. He said that, in his judgement, it was + impossible to point out an imperfection "Be kind enough," said he, "to + name even one improvement that you could make, if you had the power." + "Well," said I, "I would make good health catching, instead of disease." + The truth is, it is impossible to harmonize all the ills, and pains, and + agonies of this world with the idea that we were created by, and are + watched over and protected by an infinitely wise, powerful and beneficent + God, who is superior to and independent of nature." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"The civilization of man has increased just to the same extent that religious + power has decreased. The intellectual advancement of man depends upon how + often he can exchange an old superstition for a new truth. The church never + enabled a human being to make even one of these exchanges; on the contrary, + all her power has been used to prevent them. In spite, however, of the church, + man found that some of his religious conceptions were wrong. By reading his + Bible, he found that the ideas of his God were more cruel and brutal than + those of the most depraved savage. He also discovered that this holy book was + filled with ignorance, and that it must have been written by persons wholly + unacquainted with the nature of the phenomena by which we are surrounded; and + now and then, some man had the goodness and courage to speak his honest + thoughts. In every age some thinker, some doubter, some investigator, some + hater of hypocrisy, some despiser of sham, some brave lover of the right, + has gladly, proudly and heroically braved the ignorant fury of superstition + for the sake of man and truth. These divine men were generally torn in pieces + by the worshipers of the gods. Socrates was poisoned because he lacked + reverence for some of the deities. Christ was crucified by a religious rabble + for the crime of blasphemy. Nothing is more gratifying to a religionist than + to destroy his enemies at the command of God. Religious persecution springs + from a due admixture of love towards God and hatred towards man." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"The terrible religious wars that inundated the world with blood tended at + least to bring all religion into disgrace and hatred. Thoughtful people + began to question the divine origin of a religion that made its believers + hold the rights of others in absolute contempt. A few began to compare + Christianity with the religions of heathen people, and were forced to admit + that the difference was hardly worth dying for. They also found that other + nations were even happier and more prosperous than their own. They began to + suspect that their religion, after all, was not of much real value." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"For ages, a deadly conflict has been waged between a few brave men and women + of thought and genius upon the one side, and the great ignorant religious + mass on the other. This is the war between Science and Faith. The few have + appealed to reason, to honor, to law, to freedom, to the known, and to + happiness here in this world. The many have appealed to prejudice, to fear, + to miracle, to slavery, to the unknown, and to misery hereafter. The few have + said, "Think!" The many have said, "Believe!" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"While utterly discarding all creeds, and denying the truth of all religions, + there is neither in my heart nor upon my lips a sneer for the hopeful, loving + and tender souls who believe that from all this discord will result a perfect + harmony; that every evil will in some mysterious way become a good, and that + above and over all there is a being who, in some way, will reclaim and + glorify every one of the children of men; but for those who heartlessly try + to prove that salvation is almost impossible; that damnation is almost + certain; that the highway of the universe leads to hell; who fill life with + fear and death with horror; who curse the cradle and mock the tomb, it is + impossible to entertain other than feelings of pity, contempt and scorn." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Reason, Observation and Experience -- the Holy Trinity of Science -- have + taught us that happiness is the only good; that the time to be happy is now, + and the way to be happy is to make others so. This is enough for us. In this + belief we are content to live and die. If by any possibility the existence of + a power superior to, and independent of, nature shall be demonstrated, there + will then be time enough to kneel. Until then, let us stand erect." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Whoever imagines himself a favorite with God holds others in contempt." + [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881] +% +"Whenever a man believes that he has the exact truth from God, there is + in that man no spirit of compromise. He has not the modesty born of the + imperfections of human nature; he has the arrogance of theological + certainty and the tyranny born of ignorant assurance. Believing himself + to be the slave of God, he imitates his master, and of all tyrants, the + worst is a slave in power." + [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881] +% +"When a man really believes that it is necessary to do a certain thing + to be happy forever, or that a certain belief is necessary to ensure + eternal joy, there is in that man no spirit of concession. He divides + the whole world into saints and sinners, into believers and + unbelievers, into God's sheep and Devil's goats, into people who will + be glorified and people who are damned." + [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881] +% +"... I want it so that every minister will be not a parrot, not an owl + sitting upon a dead limb of the tree of knowledge and hooting the hoots + that have been hooted for eighteen hundred years. But I want it so that + each one can be an investigator, a thinker; and I want to make his + congregation grand enough so that they will not only allow him to think, + but will demand that he shall think, and give to them the honest truth of + his thought." + [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses"] +% +"There are some truths, however, that we should never forget: Superstition + has always been the relentless enemy of science; faith has been a hater of + demonstration; hypocrisy has been sincere only in its dread of truth, and + all religions are inconsistent with mental freedom." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Humboldt", 1869] +% +"If the book [the Bible] and my brain are both the work of the same + Infinite God, whose fault is it that the book and my brain do not agree?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881] +% +"Tell me there is a God in the serene heavens that will damn his children + for the expression of an honest belief! More men have died in their sins, + judged by your orthodox creeds, than there are leaves on all the forests + in the wide world ten thousand times over. Tell me these men are in hell; + that these men are in torment; that these children are in eternal pain, + and that they are to be punished forever and forever! I denounce this + doctrine as the most infamous of lies." + [Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", 1877] +% +"All the meanness, all the revenge, all the selfishness, all the + cruelty, all the hatred, all the infamy of which the heart of man + is capable, grew, blossomed and bore fruit in this one word, Hell." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels", 1881] +% +"Is it not wonderful that the creator of all worlds, infinite in power and + wisdom, could not hold his own against the gods of wood and stone? Is it + not strange that after he had appeared to his chosen people, delivered + them from slavery, feed them by miracles, opened the sea for a path, led + them by cloud and fire, and overthrown their pursuers, they still preferred + a calf of their own making?" (Exod. 32:1-8) "...a God who gave his entire + time for 40 years to the work of converting three millions of people, and + succeeded in getting only two men, and not a single woman, decent enough + to enter the promised land?" (Num. 14:29-30) + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Few Reasons for + Doubting the Inspiration of the Bible"] +% +"It has been contended for many years that the Ten Commandments are the + foundations of all ideas of justice and law. ...Nothing can be more stupidly + false than such assertions. Thousands of years before Moses was born, the + Egyptians had a code of laws. ...far better than the Mosaic." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses"] +% +"One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels", 1881 + also from Speech, New York City, 1 May 1881] +% +"In nature there are neither rewards nor + punishments; there are consequences." + [Robert Ingersoll, "Some + Reasons Why", 1881] +% +"In all ages hypocrites, called priests, have put + crowns upon the heads of thieves, called kings." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873] +% +"For many centuries the sword and cross were allies. Together + they attacked the rights of man. They defended each other." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Voltaire", 1894, Sec. I] +% +"As long as woman regards the Bible as the charter of her rights, she + will be the slave of man. The bible was not written by a woman. Within + its leaves there is nothing but humiliation and shame for her." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", 1877] +% +"You have no right to erect your toll-gate upon the highways of thought." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877] +% +"The infidels of one age have been the aureoled saints of the next. + The destroyers of the old are the creators of the new." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels", 1881] +% +"The history of intellectual progress is written in the lives of infidels." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels", 1881 + also from Speech, New York City, 1 May 1881] +% +"It is a blessed thing that in every age some one has had individuality enough + and courage enough to stand by his own convictions. I believe it was Magellan + who said, "The church says the earth is flat; but I have seen its shadow on + the moon, and I have more confidence even in a shadow than in the Church." + On the prow of his ship were disobedience, defiance, scorn, and success." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873, + quoted in _The Great Quotations_] +% +"I would rather live with the woman I love in a world full + of trouble, than to live in heaven with nobody but men." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty + of Man, Woman and Child", 1877] +% +"A believer is a bird in a cage, a free-thinker is + an eagle parting the clouds with tireless wing." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873] +% +"In 1776 our fathers endeavored to retire the gods from politics. They + declared that "all governments derive their just powers from the consent + of the governed." This was a contradiction of the then political ideas + of the world; it was, as many believed, an act of pure blasphemy -- a + renunciation of the Deity. ...It was a notice to all churches and priests + that thereafter mankind would govern and protect themselves. Politically + it tore down every altar and denied the authority of every "sacred book" + and appealed from the Providence of God to the Providence of man." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "God in the Constitution", originally + published in _The Arena_ in Boston in January 1890. Taken + from _The New Dresden Edition of the Works of Ingersoll_ + New York City: The Ingersoll Publishers, Inc., 1900] +% +"If all the historic books of the Bible were blotted from the memory + of mankind, nothing of value would be lost...I do not see how it is + possible for an intelligent human being to conclude that the Song of + Solomon is the work of God, and that the tragedy of Lear was the + work of an uninspired man." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why Am I An Agnostic?", 1889] +% +"Our ignorance is God; what we know is science." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"Infidelity is liberty; all religion is slavery." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Thomas Paine", 1870] +% +"I will not attack your doctrines nor your creeds if they accord liberty to me. + If they hold thought to be dangerous - if they aver that doubt is a crime, + then I attack them one and all, because they enslave the minds of men." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877] +% +"I believe in the religion of reason -- the gospel of this world; in the + development of the mind, in the accumulation of intellectual wealth, to + the end that man may free himself from superstitious fear, to the end that + he may take advantage of the forces of nature to feed and clothe the world." + [Robert Ingersoll, "Why Am I An Agnostic?", 1896] +% +"To love justice, to long for the right, to love mercy, to pity the suffering, + to assist weak, to forget wrongs and remember benefits. -- to love the truth, + to be sincere, to utter honest words, to love liberty, to wage relentless war + against slavery in all its forms, to love wife and child and friend, to make + a happy home, to love the beautiful in art, in nature, to cultivate the mind, + to be familiar with the mighty thoughts that genius has expressed, the noble + deeds of all the world, to cultivate courage and cheerfulness, to make others + happy, to fill life with the splendor of generous acts, the warmth of loving + words, to discard error, to destroy prejudice, to receive new truths with + gladness, to cultivate hope, to see the calm beyond the storm, the dawn + beyond the night, to do the best that can be done and then to be resigned + -- this is the religion of reason, the creed of science. This satisfies the + brain and heart." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Foundations of Faith", + 1895, Section VIII, "Conclusion"] +% +"When I became convinced that the Universe is natural-that all the ghosts + and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every + drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom. The walls + of my prison crumbled and fell, the dungeon was flooded with light and + all the bolts, and bars, and manacles became dust. I was no longer a + servant, a serf, or a slave. There was for me no master in all the wide + world-not even in infinite space. I was free. + -free to think, to express my thoughts + -free to live to my own ideal + -free to live for myself and those I loved + -free to use all my faculties, all my senses + -free to spread imagination's wings + -free to investigate, to guess and dream and hope + -free to judge and determine for myself + -free to reject all ignorant and cruel creeds, all the "inspired" books + that savages have produced, and all the barbarous legends of the past + -free from popes and priests + -free from all the "called" and "set apart" + -free from sanctified mistakes and holy lies + -free from the fear of eternal pain + -free from the winged monsters of night + -free from devils, ghosts, and gods + For the first time I was free. There were no prohibited places in all + the realms of my thought-no air, no space, where fancy could not spread + her painted wings + -no chains for my limbs + -no lashes for my back + -no fires for my flesh + -no master's frown or threat + -no following another's steps + -no need to bow, or cringe, or crawl, or utter lying words. + I was free. I stood erect and fearlessly, joyously, faced all worlds. + And then my heart was filled with gratitude, with thankfulness, and + went out in love to all the heroes, the thinkers who gave their lives + for the liberty of hand and brain + -for the freedom of labor and thought + -to those who fell on the fierce fields of war, to those who died in + dungeons bound with chains + -to those who proudly mounted scaffold's stairs + -to those whose bones were crushed, whose flesh was scarred and torn + -to those by fire consumed + -to all the wise, the good, the brave of every land, whose thoughts and + deeds have given freedom to the sons of men. + And I vowed to grasp the torch that they had held, and hold it high, + that light might conquer darkness still." + [Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899), "Why Am I An Agnostic?", 1896] +% +"The first great step towards progress, is, for man to cease + to be the slave of man; the second, to cease to be the slave + of the monsters of his own creation." + [Robert Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877] +% +"No man with any sense of humor ever founded a religion." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What + Must We Do To Be Saved", 1880] +% +"The clergy know that I know that they know that they do not know." + [Robert Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884] +% +"Belief is not a voluntary thing. A man believes or disbelieves + in spite of himself. They tell us that to believe is the safe + way; but I say, the safe way is to be honest." + [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why I Am a Freethinker", 1881] +% +"The church never doubts -- never inquires. To doubt is heresy -- to + inquire is to admit that you do not know -- the church does neither." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Thomas Paine", 1870] +% +"A miracle is the badge and brand of fraud. ... No intelligent, + honest man ever pretended to perform a miracle, and never will." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "About the Holy Bible", 1894] +% +"...in every religion the priest insists on five things -- + First: There is a God. + Second: He has made known his will. + Third: He has selected me to explain this message. + Fourth: We will now take up a collection; and + Fifth: Those who fail to subscribe will certainly be damned." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Has Freethought a Constructive + Side?", printed in The Truth Seeker, New York 1890] +% +"Commerce makes friends, religion makes enemies; the one enriches, + and the other impoverishes; the one thrives best where the truth + is told, the other where falsehoods are believed." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Wooden God", letter to the + Chicago Times, written at Washington, D.C., March 27, 1890] +% +"Intelligence is the only moral guide." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Would You + Substitute For the Bible as a Moral Guide?"] +% +"Ignorance is the soil of the supernatural. The foundation of + Christianity has crumbled, has disappeared, and the entire fabric + must fall. The natural is true. The miraculous is false." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why Am I An Agnostic?" + Part 2, North American Review, March, 1890] +% +"We have at last ascertained that miracles can be perfectly + understood; that there is nothing mysterious about them; + that they are simply transparent falsehoods." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Divided + Household of Faith", 1888] +% +"All the professors in all the religious colleges in this + country rolled into one, would not equal Charles Darwin." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Fifth + Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882] +% +"The destroyer of weeds, thistles and thorns is + a benefactor whether he soweth grain or not." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, motto on the title page + of "Some Mistakes of Moses", mentioned in + Interview with Chicago Times, November 14, 1879] +% +"I have noticed all my life that many people think they + have religion when they are troubled with dyspepsia." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty + of Man, Woman and Child", 1877] +% +"Should it turn out that I am the worst man in the whole world, the + story of the flood will remain just as improbable as before, and the + contradictions of the Pentateuch will still demand an explanation." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes Of Moses", 1879] +% +"To know that the Bible is the literature of a barbarous people, to + know that it is uninspired, to be certain that the supernatural does + not and cannot exist -- all this is but the beginning of wisdom." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "How to Edit a Liberal Paper", + Secular Thought, Toronto, January 8, 1887] +% +"Mental slavery is mental death and every man who has given up + his intellectual freedom is the living coffin of his dead soul." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873] +% +"Christians tell me that they love their enemies, and yet all I ask is -- + not that they love their enemies, not that they love their friends even, + but that they treat those who differ from them, with simple fairness. + We do not wish to be forgiven, but we wish Christians to so act that + we will not have to forgive them." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes Of Moses", 1879] +% +"There are others who take the ground that all is natural; that there + never has been, never will be, never can be any interference from + without, for the reason that nature embraces all, and that there can + be no without or beyond." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why Am I An Agnostic?", Part II, 1890] +% +"I admit that reason is a small and feeble flame, a flickering torch by + stumblers carried in the star-less night, -- blown and flared by passion's + storm,-- and yet, it is the only light. Extinguish that, and nought remains." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Field-Ingersoll Debate, + "A Reply to the Rev. Henry M. Field, D. D., 1887] +% +"Beyond the truths that have been demonstrated is the horizon of the Probable, + and in the world of the Probable every man has the right to guess for himself. + Beyond the region of the Probable is the Possible, and beyond the Possible is + the Impossible, and beyond the Impossible are the religions of this world. My + idea is this: Any man who acts in view of the Improbable or of the Impossible + -- that is to say, of the Supernatural -- is a superstitious man. Any man + who believes that he can add to the happiness of the Infinite, by depriving + himself of innocent pleasure, is superstitious. Any man who imagines that he + can make some God happy, by making himself miserable, is superstitious. Any + one who thinks he can gain happiness in another world, by raising hell with + his fellow-men in this, is simply superstitious. Any man who believes in a + Being of infinite wisdom and goodness, and yet believes that that being has + peopled a world with failures, is superstitious. Any man who believes that + an infinitely wise and good God would take pains to make a man, intending at + the time that the man should be eternally damned, is absurdly superstitious. + In other words, he who believes that there is, or that there can be, any other + religious duty than to increase the happiness of mankind, in this world, now + and here, is superstitious." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Thirteen Club + Dinner, New York, December 13, 1886] +% +"Ignorance is the soil in which belief in miracles grows." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Superstition", 1898] +% +"The mechanic, when a wheel refuses to turn, never thinks of dropping + on his knees and asking the assistance of some divine power. He knows + there is a reason. He knows that something is too large or too small; + that there is something wrong with his machine; and he goes to work and + he makes it larger or smaller, here or there, until the wheel will turn." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", 1877] +% +"I have no confidence in any religion that + can be demonstrated only to children." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Political interview] +% +"Honest investigation is utterly impossible within the pale of any church, + for the reason, that if you think the church is right you will not + investigate, and if you think it wrong, the church will investigate you." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873] +% +"What effect will logic have upon a religious gentleman who firmly + believes that a God of infinite compassion sent two bears to tear + thirty or forty children in pieces for laughing at a bald-headed prophet?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Voltaire", 1894] +% +"Human love is generous and noble. The love of God is selfish, + because man does not love God for God's sake, but for his own." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Rome or Reason, + A Reply to Cardinal Manning", 1888] +% +"But honest men do not pretend to know; they are candid and sincere; they + love the truth; they admit their ignorance, and they say, "We do not know." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Superstition", 1898] +% +"In the search for truth, -- everything in nature seems to hide, -- man needs + the assistance of all his faculties. All the senses should be awake. Humor + should carry a torch, Wit should give its sudden light, Candor should hold + the scales, Reason, the final arbiter, should put his royal stamp on every + fact, and Memory, with a miser's care, should keep and guard the mental gold." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Response to Wm. E. Gladstone on + his letter "Regarding Col. Ingersoll on Christianity; + Some Remarks on his Reply to Dr. Field", 1888] +% +"Some president wishes to be re-elected, and thereupon speaks about the + Bible as "the corner-stone of American Liberty." This sentence is a + mouth large enough to swallow any church, and from that time forward + the religious people will be citing that remark of the politician to + substantiate the inspiration of the Scriptures." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Morality and Immorality" interview, + printed in The News, Detroit, Michigan, January 6, 1884] +% +"Only the very ignorant are perfectly satisfied that they know. To + the common man the great problems are easy. He has no trouble in + accounting for the universe. He can tell you the origin and destiny of + man and the why and wherefore of things. As a rule, he is a believer + in special providence, and is egotistic enough to suppose that + everything that happens in the universe happens in reference to him." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Liberty In Literature", 1890] +% +"I admit that I do not know whether there is any infinite personality or not, + because I do not know that my mind is an absolute standard. But according to + my mind, there is no such personality; and according to my mind, it is an + infinite absurdity to suppose that there is such an infinite personality. But + I do know something of human nature; I do know a little of the history of + mankind; and I know enough to know that what is known as the Christian faith, + is not true. I am perfectly satisfied, beyond all doubt and beyond all + peradventure, that all miracles are falsehoods. I know as well as I know that + I live -- that others live -- that what you call your faith, is not true." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, unfinished article, reply to Rev. + Lyman Abbott's article "Flaws in Ingersollism" printed + in the North American Review, April 1890] +% +"In the history of our poor world, no horror has been omitted, no + infamy has been left undone by the believers in ghosts, -- by the + worshipers of these fleshless phantoms. And yet these shadows were + born of cowardice and malignity. They were painted by the pencil of + fear upon the canvas of ignorance by that artist called superstition." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877] +% +"Nothing is greater than to break the chains from the bodies of + men -- nothing nobler than to destroy the phantom of the soul." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Abraham Lincoln", 1894] +% +"I believe it is, as it always has been, easier to kill + two infidels than to answer one." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "An Interview on Chief + Justice Comegys", Brooklyn Eagle, 1881] +% +"Fear paralyzes the brain. Progress is born of courage. Fear believes -- + courage doubts. Fear falls upon the earth and prays -- courage stands + erect and thinks. Fear retreats -- courage advances. Fear is barbarism + -- courage is civilization. Fear believes in witchcraft, in devils and + in ghosts. Fear is religion -- courage is science." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877] +% +"Through all the years, those who plowed divided with those who prayed. + Wicked industry supported pious idleness, the hut gave to the cathedral, + and frightened poverty gave even its rags to buy a robe for hypocrisy." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved?", 1880] +% +"It may be that ministers really think that their prayers do good and + it may be that frogs imagine that their croaking brings spring." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Which Way?", 1884] +% +"The inventor of a good soup did more for his race than the maker of + any creed. The doctrines of total depravity and endless punishment + were born of bad cooking and dyspepsia." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "About Farming in Illinois", 1877] +% +"If there is a God, there should be no slaves." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty + of Man, Woman and Child", 1877] +% +"An infinite personality is an infinite impossibility." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881] +% +"I do not know what takes place in the invisible world called the brain, + inhabited by the invisible something we call the mind. All that takes + place there is invisible and soundless. This mind, hidden in this brain, + masked by flesh, remains forever unseen, and the only evidence we can + possibly have as to what occurs in that world, we obtain from the actions + of the man, of the woman. By these actions we judge of the character, of + the soul. So I make up my mind as to whether a man is good or bad, not + by his theories, but by his actions." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Reply to Rev. J. M. King & Rev. Thomas Dixon, + printed in the Evening Telegraph, regarding their response to his + "Christmas Sermon" in the Evening Telegram, December 19, 1891] +% +"We do believe that it is better to love men than to fear gods; that it is + grander and nobler to think and investigate for yourself than to repeat a + creed. We are satisfied that there can be but little liberty on earth while + men worship a tyrant in heaven. We do not expect to accomplish everything + in our day; but we want to do what good we can, and to render all the service + possible in the holy cause of human progress. We know that doing away with + gods and supernatural persons and powers is not an end. It is a means to + an end: the real end being the happiness of man." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"We are satisfied that there can be but little liberty + on earth while men worship a tyrant in heaven." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"We are continually told that the Bible is the very foundation of modesty + and morality; while many of its pages are so immodest and immoral that a + minister, for reading them in the pulpit, would be instantly denounced as + an unclean wretch. Every woman would leave the church, and if the men + stayed, it would be for the purpose of chastising the minister." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879] +% +"Why should men in the name of religion try to harmonize the + contradictions that exist between Nature and a book? Why should + philosophers be denounced for placing more reliance upon what + they know than upon what they have been told?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879] +% +"Is there an intelligent man or woman now in the world who believes in + the Garden of Eden story? If you find any man who believes it, strike + his forehead and you will hear an echo. Something is for rent." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884] +% +"I read the other day an account of a meeting between John Knox and John + Calvin. Imagine a dialogue between a pestilence and a famine! Imagine a + conversation between a block and an ax! As I read their conversation it + seemed to me as though John Knox and John Calvin were made for each other; + that they fitted each other like the upper and lower jaws of a wild beast. + They believed happiness was a crime; they looked upon laughter as blasphemy; + and they did all they could to destroy every human feeling, and to fill the + mind with the infinite gloom of predestination and eternal death. They taught + the doctrine that God had a right to damn us because he made us. That is + just the reason that he has not a right to damn us. There is some dust. + Unconscious dust! What right has God to change that unconscious dust into a + human being, when he knows that human being will sin; when he knows that + human being will suffer eternal agony? Why not leave him in the unconscious + dust? What right has an infinite God to add to the sum of human agony?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved", 1880] +% +"I have kindness and candor enough to say that + Calvin and Edwards were both insane." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why I Am An Agnostic", 1896] +% +"The churches have no confidence in each other. Why? + Because they are acquainted with each other." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Sixth + Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882] +% +"Not one of the learned gentlemen who pretend that the Mosaic laws + are filled with justice and intelligence, would live, for a moment, + in any country where such laws were in force." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879] +% +"The church persecutes the living and her + God burns, for all eternity, the dead." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, + "Heretics and Heresies", 1874] +% +"And we are called upon to worship such a God; to get upon our knees and tell + him that he is good, that he is merciful, that he is just, that he is love. + We are asked to stifle every noble sentiment of the soul, and to trample + under foot all the sweet charities of the heart. Because we refuse to stultify + ourselves -- refuse to become liars -- we are denounced, hated, traduced and + ostracized here, and this same god threatens to torment us in eternal fire + the moment death allows him to fiercely clutch our naked helpless souls. + Let the people hate, let the God threaten -- we will educate them, and we + will despise and defy him." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"If there is a God who will damn his children forever, I would rather go to + hell than to go to heaven and keep the society of such an infamous tyrant. + I make my choice now. I despise that doctrine. It has covered the cheeks of + this world with tears. It has polluted the hearts of children, and poisoned + the imaginations of men. It has been a constant pain, a perpetual terror to + every good man and woman and child. It has filled the good with horror and + with fear; but it has had no effect upon the infamous and base. It has wrung + the hearts of the tender, it has furrowed the cheeks of the good. This + doctrine never should be preached again. What right have you, sir, Mr. + clergyman, you, minister of the gospel to stand at the portals of the tomb, + at the vestibule of eternity, and fill the future with horror and with fear? + I do not believe this doctrine, neither do you. If you did, you could not + sleep one moment. Any man who believes it, and has within his breast a decent, + throbbing heart, will go insane. A man who believes that doctrine and does + not go insane has the heart of a snake and the conscience of a hyena." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", 1877] +% +"A devout clergyman sought every opportunity to impress upon the mind of his + son the fact, that god takes care of all his creatures. Happening, one day, + to see a crane wading in quest of food, the good man pointed out to his son + the perfect adaptation of the crane to get his living in that manner. "See," + said he, "how his legs are formed for wading! What a long slender bill he + has! Observe how nicely he folds his feet when putting them in or drawing + them out of the water! He does not cause the slightest ripple. He is thus + enabled to approach the fish without giving them any notice of his arrival." + "My son," said he, "it is impossible to look at that bird without recognizing + the design, as well as the goodness of God, in thus providing the means of + subsistence." "Yes," replied the boy, "I think I see the goodness of God, at + least so far as the crane is concerned; but after all, father, don't you + think the arrangement a little tough on the fish?" + [Robert Green Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872] +% +"On every hand there seems to be design to defeat design. If God created + man -- if he is the father of us all, why did he make the criminals, the + insane, the deformed and idiotic? Should the mother, who clasps to her + breast an idiot child, thank God?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why I Am An Agnostic", 1896] +% +"I am told that I am in danger of hell; that for me to express my honest + convictions is to excite the wrath of God. They inform me that unless + I believe in a certain way, meaning their way, I am in danger of + everlasting fire. + + There was a time when these threats whitened the faces of men with fear. + That time has substantially passed away. For a hundred years hell has been + gradually growing cool, the flames have been slowly dying out, the brimstone + is nearly exhausted, the fires have been burning lower and lower, and the + climate gradually changing. To such an extent has the change already been + effected that if I were going there to-night I would take an overcoat and + a box of matches. + + They say that the eternal future of man depends upon his belief. I deny it. + A conclusion honestly arrived at by the brain cannot possibly be a crime; and + the man who says it is, does not think so. The god who punishes it as a crime + is simply an infamous tyrant. As for me, l would a thousand times rather go + to perdition and suffer its torments with the brave, grand thinkers of the + world, than go to heaven and keep the company of a god who would damn his + children for an honest belief." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "My Reviewers Reviews", lecture in San + Francisco, June 27, 1877, reply to attacks by clergymen for his + lectures "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", and "The Ghosts"] +% +"Is it a small thing to quench the flames of hell with the holy tears of + pity -- to unbind the martyr from the stake -- break all the chains -- + put out the fires of civil war -- stay the sword of the fanatic, and tear + the bloody hands of the Church from the white throat of Science? + + Is it a small thing to make men truly free -- to destroy the dogmas of + ignorance, prejudice and power -- the poisoned fables of superstition, + and drive from the beautiful face of the earth the fiend of fear?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Thomas Paine", 1870] +% +"Confronted with the universe, with fields of space sown thick with stars, + with all there is of life, the wise man, being asked the origin and destiny + of all, replies: "I do not know. These questions are beyond the powers + of my mind." The wise man is thoughtful and modest. He clings to facts. + Beyond his intellectual horizon he does not pretend to see. He does not + mistake hope for evidence or desire for demonstration. He is honest. He + neither deceives himself nor others." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Foundations of Faith", 1895] +% +"To exempt the church from taxation, is to pay part of the priest's salary." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Interview in The Truth Seeker, + New York, September 5, 1885. Quoted by Joseph Lewis + in "Franklin the Freethinker"] +% +"No human being has imagination enough to conceive of this infinite horror. + + All that the human race has suffered in war and want, in pestilence and + famine, in fire and flood -- all the pangs and pains of every disease and + every death -- all of this is nothing compared with the agonies to be + endured by one lost soul. + + This is the consolation of the Christian religion. This is the justice + of God -- the mercy of Christ. + + This frightful dogma, this infinite lie, made me the implacable enemy of + Christianity. The truth is that this belief in eternal pain has been the real + persecutor. It founded the Inquisition, forged the chains, and furnished the + fagots. It has darkened the lives of many millions. It made the cradle as + terrible as the coffin. It enslaved nations and shed the blood of countless + thousands. It sacrificed the wisest, the bravest and the best. It subverted + the idea of justice, drove mercy from the heart, changed men to fiends and + banished reason from the brain. + + Like a venomous serpent it crawls and coils and hisses in every orthodox + creed. + + It makes man an eternal victim and God an eternal fiend. It is the one + infinite horror. Every church in which it is taught is a public curse. Every + preacher who teaches it is an enemy of mankind. Below this Christian dogma, + savagery cannot go. It is the infinite of malice, hatred, and revenge. + + Nothing could add to the horror of hell, except the presence of its + creator, God. + + While I have life, as long as I draw breath, I shall deny with all my + strength, and hate with every drop of my blood, this infinite lie." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why I Am An Agnostic", 1896] +% +"Christianity teaches that all offences can be forgiven. Every church + unconsciously allows people to commit crimes on credit. On the other hand, + what is called infidelity says: There is no being in the universe who rewards, + and there is no being who punishes -- every act has its consequences. If the + act is good, the consequences are good; if the act is bad, the consequences + are bad; and these consequences must be borne by the actor. It says to every + human being: You must reap what you sow. There is no reward, there is no + punishment, but there are consequences, and these consequences are the + invisible and implacable police of nature. They cannot be avoided. They + cannot be bribed. No power can awe them, and there is not gold enough in the + world to make them pause. Even a God cannot induce them to release for one + instant their victim. + + This great truth is, in my judgment, the gospel of morality. If all men knew + that they must inevitably bear the consequences of their own actions -- if + they absolutely knew that they could not injure another without injuring + themselves, the world, in my judgment, would be far better than it is." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, January 9, 1891, answering + the critics of his "Christmas Sermon" printed + in the Evening Telegraph on December 19, 1891] +% +"Can a good man mock at the children of deformity? Will he deride the + misshapen? Your Jehovah deformed some of his own children, and then held + them up to scorn and hatred. These divine mistakes -- these blunders of the + infinite -- were not allowed to enter the temple erected in honor of him who + had dishonored them. Does a kind father mock his deformed child? What would + you think of a mother who would deride and taunt her misshapen babe?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Response to Wm. E. Gladstone on + his letter "Regarding Col. Ingersoll on Christianity; + Some Remarks on his Reply to Dr. Field", 1888] +% +"Failure seems to be the trademark of Nature. Why? Nature has no design, no + intelligence. Nature produces without purpose, sustains without intention + and destroys without thought. Man has a little intelligence, and he should + use it. Intelligence is the only lever capable of raising mankind." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Is Religion?", his last + public address, delivered before the American Free + Religious association, Boston, June 2, 1899] +% +"When a professor in a college finds a fact, he should make it + known, even if it is inconsistent with something Moses said." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879] +% +"Science has nothing in common with religion. Facts and miracles never did, + and never will agree. They are not in the least related. They are deadly + foes. What has religion to do with facts? Nothing. Can there be Methodist + mathematics, Catholic astronomy, Presbyterian geology, Baptist biology, or + Episcopal botany? Why, then, should a sectarian college exist? Only that which + somebody knows should be taught in our schools. We should not collect taxes + to pay people for guessing. The common school is the bread of life for the + people, and it should not be touched by the withering hand of superstition." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879] +% +"Why should a woman ask pardon of God for having been a mother? Why should + that be considered a crime in Exodus, which is commanded as a duty in + Genesis? Why should a mother be declared unclean? Why should giving birth + to a daughter be regarded twice as criminal as giving birth to a son? Can + we believe that such laws and ceremonies were made and instituted by a + merciful and intelligent God? If there is anything in this poor world + suggestive of, and standing for, all that is sweet, loving and pure, it + is a mother holding in her thrilled and happy arms her prattling babe." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879] +% +"Only the other day a gentleman was telling me of a case of special providence. + He knew it. He had been the subject of it. A few years ago he was about to go + on a ship when he was detained. He did not go, and the ship was lost with all + on board. "Yes!" I said, "Do you think the people who were drowned believed + in special providence?" Think of the infinite egotism of such a doctrine. + Here is a man that fails to go upon a ship with five hundred passengers and + they go down to the bottom of the sea -- fathers, mothers, children, and + loving husbands and wives waiting upon the shores of expectation. Here is one + poor little wretch that did not happen to go! And he thinks that God, the + Infinite Being, interfered in his poor little withered behalf and let the + rest all go. That is special providence. Why does special providence allow + all the crimes? Why are the wife-beaters protected, and why are the wives and + children left defenceless if the hand of God is over us all? Who protects the + insane? Why does Providence permit insanity? But the church cannot give up + special providence. If there is no such thing, then no prayers, no worship, + no churches, no priests. What would become of National thanksgiving?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884] +% +"When a man has been "born again", all the passages of the Old Testament + that appear so horrible and so unjust to one in his natural state, become + the dearest, the most consoling, and the most beautiful of truths. The + real Christian reads the accounts of these ancient battles with the + greatest possible satisfaction. To one who really loves his enemies, + the groans of men, the shrieks of women, and the cries of babes, make + music sweeter than the zephyr's breath." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Talmadgian Catechism", 1882] +% +"Who can over estimate the progress of the world if all the money wasted in + superstition could be used to enlighten, elevate and civilize mankind?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879] +% +"How long, O how long will mankind worship a book? How long will they grovel + in the dust before the ignorant legends of the barbaric past? How long, + O how long will they pursue phantoms in a darkness deeper than death?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies", 1874] +% +"How touching when the learned and wise crawl back in cribs and ask to + hear the rhymes and fables once again! How charming in these hard and + scientific times to see old age in Superstition's lap, with eager lips + upon her withered breast!" + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion" + Part III, The Ingersoll - Black Debate, 1881] +% +"I would not for my life destroy one star of human hope, but I want it + so that when a poor woman rocks the cradle and sings a lullaby to the + dimpled darling, she will not be compelled to believe that ninety-nine + chances in a hundred she is raising kindling wood for hell." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved", 1880] +% +"We did not get our freedom from the church. The great truth, that + all men are by nature free, was never told on Sinai's barren crags, + nor by the lonely shores of Galilee." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion" + Part III, The Ingersoll - Black Debate, 1881] +% +"Rome was far better when Pagan than when Catholic. It was better to allow + gladiators and criminals to fight than to burn honest men. The greatest of + the Romans denounced the cruelties of the arena. Seneca condemned the combats + even of wild beasts. He was tender enough to say that "we should have a bond + of sympathy for all sentient beings, knowing that only the depraved and base + take pleasure in the sight of blood and suffering." Aurelius compelled the + gladiators to fight with blunted swords. Roman lawyers declared that all men + are by nature free and equal. Woman, under Pagan rule in Rome, became as free + as man. Zeno, long before the birth of Christ, taught that virtue alone + establishes a difference between men. We know that the Civil Law is the + foundation of our codes. We know that fragments of Greek and Roman art -- + a few manuscripts saved from Christian destruction, some inventions and + discoveries of the Moors -- were the seeds of modern civilization. + Christianity, for a thousand years, taught memory to forget and reason to + believe. Not one step was taken in advance. Over the manuscripts of + philosophers and poets, priests with their ignorant tongues thrust out, + devoutly scrawled the forgeries of faith. For a thousand years the torch of + progress was extinguished in the blood of Christ, and his disciples, moved + by ignorant zeal, by insane, cruel creeds, destroyed with flame and sword a + hundred million of their fellow-men. They made this world a hell. But if + cathedrals had been universities -- if dungeons of the Inquisition had been + laboratories -- if Christians had believed in character instead of creed -- + if they had taken from the Bible all the good and thrown away the wicked and + absurd -- if domes of temples had been observatories -- if priests had been + philosophers -- if missionaries had taught the useful arts -- if astrology + had been astronomy -- if the black art had been chemistry -- if superstition + had been science -- if religion had been humanity -- it would have been a + heaven filled with love, with liberty and joy." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion" + Part III, The Ingersoll - Black Debate, 1881] +% +"Science is the enemy of fear and credulity. It invites investigation, + challenges the reason, stimulates inquiry, and welcomes the unbeliever. It + seeks to give food and shelter, and raiment, education and liberty to the + human race. It welcomes every fact and every truth. It has furnished a + foundation of morals, a philosophy for the guidance of man. From all books + it selects the good, and from all theories, the true. It seeks to civilize + the human race by the cultivation of the intellect and heart. It refines, + through art, music and the drama -- giving voice and expression to every + noble thought. The mysterious does not excite the feeling of worship, but + the ambition to understand. It does not pray -- it works. It does not answer + inquiry with the malicious cry of "blasphemy." Its feelings are not hurt by + contradiction, neither does it ask to be protected by law from the laughter + of heretics. It has taught man that he cannot walk beyond the horizon -- that + the questions of origin and destiny cannot be answered -- they an infinite + personality cannot be comprehended by a finite being, and that the truth of + any system of religion based on the supernatural cannot by any possibility + be established -- such a religion not being within the domain of evidence. + And, above all, it teaches that all our duties are here -- that all our + obligations are to sentient beings; that intelligence, guided by kindness, + is the highest possible wisdom; and that "man believes not what he would, + but what he can." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Response to Wm. E. Gladstone on + his letter "Regarding Col. Ingersoll on Christianity; + Some Remarks on his Reply to Dr. Field", 1888] +% +"Who can estimate the misery that has been caused by this most infamous + doctrine of eternal punishment? Think of the lives it has blighted -- of + the tears it has caused -- of the agony it has produced. Think of the + millions who have been driven to insanity by this most terrible of dogmas. + This doctrine renders God the basest and most cruel being in the universe. + Compared with him, the most frightful deities of the most barbarous and + degraded tribes are miracles of goodness and mercy. There is nothing more + degrading than to worship such a god. Lower than this the soul can never + sink. If the doctrine of eternal damnation is true, let me share the fate of + the unconverted; let me have my portion in hell, rather than in heaven with + a god infamous enough to inflict eternal misery upon any of the sons of men." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies", 1874] +% +"Religion makes enemies instead of friends. That one word, "religion," + covers all the horizon of memory with visions of war, of outrage, of + persecution, of tyranny, and death. That one word brings to the mind + every instrument with which man has tortured man. In that one word are + all the fagots and flames and dungeons of the past, and in that word + is the infinite and eternal hell of the future." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881] +% +"No Devil, no hell. No hell, no atonement. + No atonement, no preaching, no gospel." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884] +% +"We cannot trample upon their rights, without endangering our own; and no man + who will take liberty from another, is great enough to enjoy liberty himself." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Fifth Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882] +% +"I beg of you not to pollute the soul of childhood, not to furrow the cheeks + of mothers, by preaching a creed that should be shrieked in a mad-house. Do + not make the cradle as terrible as the coffin. Preach, I pray you, the gospel + of Intellectual Hospitality -- the liberty of thought and speech. Take from + loving hearts the awful fear. Have mercy on your fellow-men. Do not drive to + madness the mothers whose tears are falling on the pallid faces of those who + died in unbelief. Pity the erring, wayward, suffering, weeping world. Do not + proclaim as "tidings of great joy" that an Infinite Spider is weaving webs + to catch the souls of men." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Field-Ingersoll Debate, + "A Reply to the Rev. Henry M. Field, D. D., 1887] +% +"I beg, I implore, I beseech you, never to give another dollar to build a + church in which that lie is preached. Never give another cent to send a + missionary with his mouth stuffed with that falsehood to a foreign land. + Why, they say, the heathen will go to heaven, any way, if you let them + alone. What is the use of sending them to hell by enlightening them? Let + them alone. The idea of going and telling a man a thing that if he does + not believe, he will be damned, when the chances are ten to one that he + will not believe it, is monstrous." + [Robert G. Ingersoll "Orthodoxy", 1884] +% +"The religion of Jesus Christ, as preached by his church, causes war, + bloodshed, hatred, and all uncharitableness; and why? Because, they say, a + certain belief is necessary to salvation. They do not say, if you behave + yourself you will get there; they do not say, if you pay your debts and love + your wife and love your children, and are good to your friends, and your + neighbors, and your country, you will get there; that will do you no good; + you have got to believe a certain thing. No matter how bad you are, you can + instantly be forgiven; and no matter how good you are, if you fail to believe + that which you cannot understand, the moment you get to the day of judgment + nothing is left but to damn you, and all the angels will shout "hallelujah." + [Robert G. Ingersoll "Orthodoxy", 1884] +% +"Over the wild waves of battle rose and fell the banner of Jesus Christ. + For sixteen hundred years the robes of the church were red with innocent + blood. The ingenuity of Christians was exhausted in devising punishment + severe enough to be inflicted upon other Christians who honestly and + sincerely differed with them upon any point whatever." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies", 1874] +% +"Labor is the only prayer that Nature answers." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Address to the Jury", + trial of C. B. Reynolds for Blasphemy] +% +"To me, the most obscene word in our language is celibacy." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Liberty in Literature", 1890] +% +"Celibacy is the essence of vulgarity." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Rome or Reason?", + Reply to Cardinal Manning, 1888] +% +"Twenty years after the death of Luther there were more Catholics + than when he was born. And twenty years after the death of Voltaire + there were millions less than when he was born." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Interview with New York correspondent, + Chicago Times, May 29, 1881, answering criticism by NY + ministers in response to his "Great Infidels" lecture] +% +"This century will be called Darwin's century. He was one of the greatest men + who ever touched this globe. He has explained more of the phenomena of life + than all of the religious teachers. Write the name of Charles Darwin on the + one hand and the name of every theologian who ever lived on the other, and + from that name has come more light to the world than from all of those. His + doctrine of evolution, his doctrine of the survival of the fittest, his + doctrine of the origin of species, has removed in every thinking mind the + last vestige of orthodox Christianity. He has not only stated, but he has + demonstrated, that the inspired writer knew nothing of this world, nothing + of the origin of man, nothing of geology, nothing of astronomy, nothing of + nature; that the Bible is a book written by ignorance -- at the instigation + of fear. Think of the men who replied to him. Only a few years ago there + was no person too ignorant to successfully answer Charles Darwin; and the + more ignorant he was the more cheerfully he undertook the task. He was held + up to the ridicule, the scorn and contempt of the Christian world, and yet + when he died, England was proud to put his dust with that of her noblest + and her grandest. Charles Darwin conquered the intellectual world, and his + doctrines are now accepted facts." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884] +% +"When I became convinced that the Universe is natural -- that all the ghosts + and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every + drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom ... For the + first time, I was free ... I stood erect and joyously faced all worlds. + And then my heart was filled with gratitude, with thankfulness, and went + out in love to all the heroes, the thinkers who gave their lives for the + liberty of hand and brain ... And then I vowed to grasp the torch that + they had held, and hold it high, that light might conquer darkness still. + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why I Am An Agnostic", 1896, + quoted in Joseph Lewis' speech "Ingersoll the Magnificent"] +% +"Every fact is an enemy of the church. Every fact is a heretic. + Every demonstration is an infidel. Everything that ever really + happened testifies against the supernatural." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884] +% +"The man who does not do his own thinking is a slave, + and is a traitor to himself and to his fellow-men." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty + of Man, Woman and Child" 1877] +% +"For my part I would not kill my wife, even if commanded + to do so by the real God of this universe." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879] +% +"I would have all the professors in colleges, all the teachers in schools + of every kind, including those in Sunday schools, agree that they would + teach only what they know, that they would not palm off guesses as + demonstrated truths. + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Speech at Chicago + Exposition Building, October 20, 1876] +% +"If there is a God, it is reasonably certain that he made the world, but it + is by no means certain that he is the author of the Bible. Why then should + we not place greater confidence in Nature than in a book? And even if this + God made not only the world but the book besides, it does not follow that + the book is the best part of creation, and the only part that we will be + eternally punished for denying. It seems to me that it is quite as important + to know something of the solar system, something of the physical history of + this globe, as it is to know the adventures of Jonah or the diet of Ezekiel. + For my part, I would infinitely prefer to know all the results of scientific + investigation, than to be inspired as Moses was. Supposing the Bible to be + true; why is it any worse or more wicked for Freethinkers to deny it, than + for priests to deny the doctrine of evolution, or the dynamic theory of heat? + Why should we be damned for laughing at Samson and his foxes, while others, + holding the Nebular Hypothesis in utter contempt, go straight to heaven? It + seems to me that a belief in the great truths of science are fully as + essential to salvation, as the creed of any church. We are taught that a man + may be perfectly acceptable to God even if he denies the rotundity of the + earth, the Copernican system, the three laws of Kepler, the indestructibility + of matter and the attraction of gravitation. And we are also taught that a + man may be right upon all these questions, and yet, for failing to believe + in the "scheme of salvation," be eternally lost." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879] +% +"I want no heaven for which I must give my reason; no happiness in exchange + for my liberty, and no immortality that demands the surrender of my + individuality. Better rot in the windowless tomb, to which there is no door + but the red mouth of the pallid worm, than wear the jeweled collar of a god." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873] +% +"Science built the Academy, superstition the inquisition." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"I have always noticed that the people who have the smallest + souls make the most fuss about getting them saved." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"To succeed the theologan invades the cradle. In the minds + of innocents they plant the seeds of superstition. Save + children from the pollution of this horror." + [Robert Ingersoll] +% +"Go around the world, and where you find the least superstition, there + you will find the best men, the best women, the best children." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% + "Public prayer is, if nothing else, + an undignified public performance." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, quoted in "Ingersoll + the Magnificent" by Joseph Lewis] +% +"Christianity has such a contemptible opinion of human nature that it + does not believe a man can tell the truth unless frightened by a belief + in God. No lower opinion of the human race has ever been expressed." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"A few years ago the Deists denied the inspiration of the Bible on account + of its cruelty. At the same time they worshiped what they were pleased to + call the God of Nature. Now we are convinced that Nature is as cruel as the + Bible; so that, if the God of Nature did not write the Bible, this God at + least has caused earthquakes and pestilence and famine, and this God has + allowed millions of his children to destroy one another. So that now we have + arrived at the question -- not as to whether the Bible is inspired and not + as to whether Jehovah is the real God, but whether there is a God or not." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"In the presence of death I affirm and reaffirm the truth of all + that I have said against the superstitions of the world. I would + say that much on the subject with my last breath." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"We have already compared the benefits of theology and science. When the + theologian governed the world, it was covered with huts and hovels for the + many, palaces and cathedrals for the few. To nearly all the children of men, + reading and writing were unknown arts. The poor were clad in rags and skins + -- they devoured crusts, and gnawed bones. The day of Science dawned, and + the luxuries of a century ago are the necessities of to-day. Men in the + middle ranks of life have more of the conveniences and elegancies than the + princes and kings of the theological times. But above and over all this, is + the development of mind. There is more of value in the brain of an average + man of to-day -- of a master-mechanic, of a chemist, of a naturalist, of an + inventor, than there was in the brain of the world four hundred years ago. + + These blessings did not fall from the skies. These benefits did not drop + from the outstretched hands of priests. They were not found in cathedrals or + behind altars -- neither were they searched for with holy candles. They were + not discovered by the closed eyes of prayer, nor did they come in answer to + superstitious supplication. They are the children of freedom, the gifts of + reason, observation and experience -and for them all, man is indebted to man." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"My objection to Christianity is that it is infinitely cruel, + infinitely selfish, and, I might add, infinitely absurd." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"The Bible is not inspired in its morality, for the reason that slavery is + not moral, that polygamy is not good, that wars of extermination are not + merciful, and that nothing can be more immoral than to punish the innocent + on account of the sins of the guilty." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"The Catholics have a pope. Protestants laugh at them, and yet the Pope + is capable of intellectual advancement. In addition to this, the Pope is + mortal, and the church cannot be afflicted with the same idiot forever. The + Protestants have a book for their Pope. The book cannot advance. Year after + year, and century after century, the book remains as ignorant as ever." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"The believers in the Bible are loud in their denunciation of what they are + pleased to call the immoral literature of the world; and yet few books have + been published containing more moral filth than this inspired word of God." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Is it possible that an infinite God created this world simply to be the + dwelling-place of slaves and serfs? Simply for the purpose of raising + orthodox Christians? That he did a few miracles to astonish them? That all + the evils of life are simply his punishments, and that he is finally + going to turn heaven into a kind of religious museum filled with Baptist + barnacles, petrified Presbyterians, and Methodist mummies?" + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"The Church has always been willing to swap + off treasures in heaven for cash down here." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Every minister likes to consider himself as a brave shepherd leading + the lambs through green pastures and defending them at night from + Infidel wolves. All this he does for a certain share of the wool." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Salvation for credulity means damnation for investigation." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"My creed is this: + Happiness is the only good. + The place to be happy is here. + The time to be happy is now. + The way to be happy is to help make others so." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Motto on the + title page of Vol. xii, Works] +% +"Think of the egotism of a man who believes + that an infinite being wants his praise!" + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Surely investigation is better than unthinking faith. + Surely reason is a better guide than fear." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The + Liberty of Man, Woman and Child"] +% +"When we find out that an assertion is a falsehood, a shining truth + takes its place, and we need not fear the destruction of the false. + The more false we destroy the more room there will be for the true." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "44 Complete Lectures"] +% +"I am not so much for the freedom of religion + as I am for the religion of freedom." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"The object of the Freethinker is to ascertain the truth-the conditions + of well being-to the end that his life will be made of value." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, contribution to The Truth Seeker, 1890] +% +"There may be a God who will make us happy in another world. If he does, + it will be more than he has accomplished in this. A being who has the + power to prevent it and yet allows thousands and millions of his children + to starve, who devours them with earthquakes, who allows whole nations + to be enslaved, cannot--in my judgment--be implicitly depended upon to + justice in another world." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Jehovah was not a moral God. He had all the vices and lacked all + the virtues. He generally carried out all his threats, but he + never faithfully kept a promise." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"If there is a God who has allowed the children to be oppressed in this world + he certainly needs another life to reform the blunders he made in this." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"If only Christians go to heaven and all others go to hell, it + seems to me that there will be a thousand times more misery in + the next world than in this." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"God cannot send to eternal pain a man who has done something toward + improving the condition of his fellow-man. If he can, I had rather + go to hell than to heaven and keep company with such a god." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"The doctrine of eternal punishment is the most infamous of all + doctrines--born of ignorance, cruelty and fear. Around the angel + of immortality Christianity has coiled the serpent. Upon Love's + breast the church has placed the eternal asp." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Heresy is what the minority believe; it is the name + given by the powerful to the doctrines of the weak." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies"] +% +"Is there beyond the silent night + An endless day? + Is death a door that leads to light? + We cannot say." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, + Declaration of the Free] +% +"If we are immortal, it is a fact of nature, and that fact + does not depend on bibles, on Christs, priest, or creeds." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"The hope of immortality never came from any religion. + The hope of immortality has helped to make religion." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"A known infidel cannot get very rich, for the reason that the + Christians are so forgiving and loving that they boycott him." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Christ said nothing about the Western Hemisphere because he did not know it + existed. He did not know the shape of the earth. He was not a scientist-- + never even hinted at any science--never told anybody to investigate, to + think. His idea was that this life should be spent; in preparing for the + next. For all of the evils of this life, and the next, faith was his remedy." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"It is said that desire for knowledge lost us the Eden of + the past; but whether that is true or not, it will + certainly give us the Eden of the future." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses"] +% +"True religion must be free. Without perfect liberty of mind there can be no + true religion. Without liberty the brain is a dungeon--the mind a convict." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"He who endeavors to control the mind by force + is a tyrant, and he who submits is a slave." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses"] +% +"Nothing can be more infamous than intellectual tyranny. To put chains upon + the body is nothing compared with putting shackles on the brain. No god is + entitled to the worship or respect of a man who does not give, even to the + meanest of his children, every right he claims for himself. If the Pentateuch + is true, religious persecution is a duty, The dungeons of the Inquisition + were temples and the clank of every chain upon the limbs of heresy was music + to the ear of God." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Do away with miracles, and the superhuman character of Christ + is destroyed. He Becomes what he really was--a man." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Inspiration is only necessary to give authority to that which + is repugnant to human reason. Only that which never happened + needs to be substantiated by miracles." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Happiness is the only good, reason the only torch, justice the only + worship, humanity the only religion, and love the only priest." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Eulogy at the grave of his brother, Eben] +% +"The assassin cannot sanctify his dagger by falling on his knees, and + it does not help a falsehood if it be uttered as a prayer. Religion, + used to intensify the hatred of men toward men under the pretense of + pleasing God, has cursed this world." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"The country that has got the least religion is the most prosperous, + and the country that has got most religion is in the worst condition." + [Robert G. Ingersoll, Speech in Boston, April 23, 1880] +% +"Surely there is grandeur in knowing that in the realm of thought, at least, + you are without a chain; that you have the right to explore all heights and + all depths; that there are no walls nor fences, nor prohibited places, nor + sacred corners in all the vast expanse of thought; that your intellect owes + no allegiance to any being, human or divine; that you hold all in fee upon + no condition and by no tenure whatever; that in the world of mind you are + relieved from all personal dictation, and from the ignorant tyranny of + majorities. Surely it is worth something to feel that there are no popes, + no parties, no governments, no kings, no gods, to whom your intellect can + be compelled to pay a reluctant homage." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Christ according to the faith, is the second person in the Trinity, the + Father being the first and the holy Ghost the third. Each of these three + persons is God. Christ is his own father and his own son. The Holy Ghost is + neither father nor son, but both. The son was begotten by the father, but + existed before he was begotten--just the same before as after. Christ is just + as old as his father, and the father is just as young as his son. The Holy + Ghost proceeded form the Father and Son, but was an equal to the Father and + Son before he proceeded, that is to say before he existed, but he is of the + same age as the other two. Nothing ever was, nothing ever can be more + perfectly idiotic and absurd than the dogma of the Trinity." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Let us remember that those who have sought natures truths have not persecuted + their neighbors. The astronomers and chemist have forged no chains and built + no dungeons. The geologist have invented no instruments of torture. The + philosophers have not demonstrated the truths of their theories by burning + others. The great infidels, the thinkers have lived for the good of humankind. + Intellectual liberty is the fresh air of the universe and the sunshine of the + soul. Without it, the universe is a prison." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Now they say that this book is inspired. I do not care whether it is or + not; the question is, Is it true? if it is true, it doesn't need to be + inspired. Nothing needs inspiration except a falsehood or a mistake." + [Robert G. Ingersoll] +% +"Consequently, in the name of God Almighty, by the authority of the + Apostles Saints Peter and Paul, and by our Own, We reprove and condemn + this Charter [the Magna Carta]; under pain of anathema We forbid the + King to observe it or the barons to demand its execution. We declare + the Charter null and of no effect, as well as all the obligations + contracted to confirm it. It is Our wish that in no case should it + have any effect." + [Pope Innocent III (1161-1216)] +% +"Use against heretics the spiritual sword of excommunication, + and if this does not prove effective, use the material sword." + [Pope Innocent III (1161-1216)] +% +"Our dear Son (King of France), the Chancellor of Paris, and the Doctors, + before the clergy and people, publicly burned by fire the aforesaid books + (The Talmud) with all their appendices. We beg and beseech your Celestial + Majesty in the Lord Jesus, that, having begun laudably and piously to + prosecute those who perpetuate these detestable excesses, that you continue + with due severity. And that you command throughout your whole kingdom that + the aforesaid books with all their glossaries, already condemned by the + Doctors, be committed to the flames. Firmly prohibiting Jews From having + Christians as servants and nurses..." + [Pope Innocent IV, A.D. 1244, Bull. Rom. Pont., IV, 509] +% +"...ice crystals only grow when an outside agent [God] + is driving the process against the natural decay process + described by the second law of thermodynamics." + [Institute for Creation Research + http://www.icr.org/pubs/imp/imp-162.htm62.htm] +% +"Truth is, christians are the only ones in + the world that cannot explain anything" + ["Internut", christian on IRC] +% +"I tell Christians, If you had two children and one had to be bribed + (heaven) and threatened (hell) to do what he was supposed to do, and + the other one just did it because that's what he knew was the right + thing to do, which would you consider the better person?" + [Greg Irwin, President of the Humanist Association of Canada] +% +"Would you have mansions of gold in the sky, + and live in a shack, here in the back? + Would you have wings up in heaven to fly, + While you live here with rags on your back?" + [IWW song, from The Little Red Songbook, + Songs to fan the flames of discontent] +% +"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." + [Holbrook Jackson, quoted in + "Omni", Aug. 1988, p. 31.] +% +"On the inner walls of the holy of holies in the Temple of Luxor inscribed by + King Amenhotep III (1538-1501 B.C.) the birth of Horus is pictured in four + scenes very much like Christian representations of the Annunciation and the + Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary, and the Birth and Adoration of the + Christ Child. These four consecutive scenes, as engraved on the walls of the + Temple of Luxor, are reproduced in Gerald Massey's Ancient Egypt: The Light + of the World Vol. II (London: T. Fisher Unwin, 1907) page 757, and may be + described as follows..." + [John G. Jackson, "Christianity Before Christ" + Austin TX: American Atheist Press, 1985 p. 110] +% +"The day that this country ceases to be free for irreligion, it will cease + to be free for religion--except for the sect that can win political power." + [Supreme Court Justice Robert Houghwout Jackson, dissenting + opinion in Zorach v. Clauson (343 US 306 -- 1952)] +% +"If we concede to the State power and wisdom to single out + 'duly constituted religious' bodies as exclusive alternatives + for compulsory secular instruction, it would be logical to + also uphold the power and wisdom to choose the true faith among + those 'duly constituted.' We start down a rough road when we + begin to mix compulsory public education with compulsory godliness." + [Supreme Court Justice Robert Houghwout Jackson, dissenting + opinion in Zorach v. Clauson (343 US 306 -- 1952)] +% +"If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is + that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox + in politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion, or + force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein." + [Robert H. Jackson, Supreme Court opinion (West Virginia State + Board of Education v Barnette, 319 U.S. 624{1943})] +% +"[I]n our country are evangelists and zealots of many different political, + economic and religious persuasions whose fanatical conviction is that all + thought is divinely classified into two kinds -- that which is their own + and that which is false and dangerous." + [Justice Robert H. Jackson, American Communications Assn. + v. Douds, 339 U.S. 382, 438; 70 S.Ct. 674, 704 (1950)] +% +"[T]he effect of the religious freedom Amendment to our Constitution was to + take every form of propagation of religion out of the realm of things + which could directly or indirectly be made public business, and thereby be + supported in whole or in part at taxpayers' expense. That is a difference + which the Constitution sets up between religion and almost every other + subject matter of legislation, a difference which goes to the very root of + religious freedom[...] This freedom was first in the Bill of Rights because + it was first in the forefathers' minds; it was set forth in absolute terms, + and its strength is its rigidity. It was intended not only to keep the + states' hands out of religion, but to keep religion's hands off the state, + and, above all, to keep bitter religious controversy out of public life by + denying to every denomination any advantage from getting control of public + policy or the public purse." + [Justice Robert H. Jackson, in dissent in Everson v. Board of + Education of Ewing TP., 330 U.S. 1 (1947) at 26, 27.] +% +"[The Establishment Clause and Religious Freedom Clause] of our Federal + Constitution ha[ve] never been wholly pleasing to most religious groups. + They are all quick to invoke its protections; they are all irked when they + feel its restraints. This Court has gone a long way, if not an unreasonable + way, to hold that public business of paramount importance as maintenance of + public order, protection of the privacy of a home, and taxation may not be + pursued by a state in a way that even indirectly will interfere with + religious proselyting.[...] But we cannot have it both ways. Religious + teaching cannot be a private affair when the state seeks to impose + regulations which infringe on it indirectly, and a public affair when it + comes to taxing citizens of one faith to aid another, or those of no faith + to aid all. If these principles seem harsh in prohibiting aid to Catholic + education, it must not be forgotten that it is the same Constitution that + alone assures Catholics the right to maintain these schools at all when + predominant local sentiment would forbid them. [...] Nor should I think + that those who have done so well without this aid would want to see this + separation between Church and State broken down. If the state may aid + these religious schools, it may therefore regulate them. Many groups have + sought aid from tax funds, only to find that it carried political controls + with it. Indeed, this Court has declared that 'It is hardly lack of due + process for the Government to regulate that which it subsidizes.' + Wickard v. Filburn, 317 U.S. 111, 131." + [Justice Robert H. Jackson, in dissent in Everson v. Board of + Education of Ewing TP., 330 U.S. 1 (1947) at 27, 28.] +% +"Nothing is more dangerous than the certainty of being right... + All the massacres were done by virtue, in the name of the true + faith, of the legitimate nationalism, of the idoneous politics, + of the just ideology; in short, in the name of the combat + against other people's truth, the combat against Satan" + [Francois Jacob] +% +"The National Government will therefore regard as its first and supreme + task to restore to the German people unity of mind and will. It will + preserve and defend the foundations on which the strength of our nation + rests. It will take under its firm protection Christianity as the basis + of our morality, and the family as the nucleus of our nation and our State." + [_Nazism, A History in Documents & Eyewitness Accounts_. + (Original source listed in the bibliography: Jacobsen and + Jochmann, Ausgewahlte Dokumente Bd II.)] +% +"Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism." + [William James (1842-1910) American philosopher and psychologist] +% +"Jeff 3:16 + For God so hated the world that he gave his only bastard son, that + whosoever believeth in him shall not flourish but have everlasting strife." + [Jeff Janusch, backslide247@aol.com] +% +"Damn the Solar System. Bad light; planets too distant; pestered + with comets; feeble contrivance; could make a better myself." + [Francis [Lord Jeffery] +% +"In addition I think science has enjoyed an extraordinary success + because it has such a limited and narrow realm in which to focus its + efforts. Namely, the physical universe." + [Ken Jenkins] +% +"After the survivor of the Spanish conquest has told his life's story he is + convicted by the Inquisition: + + "He posted no brief in defense or mitigation of his offenses, and + when he was most solemnly advised by the Court President of the dire + consequences he faced if found guilty, Juan Damasceno volunteered + only one comment: + + 'It will mean I do not go to the Christian heaven?' + + He was told that that would indeed be the worst of his punishments: + that he would most assuredly not go to Heaven. At which, his smile + sent a thrill of horror through every soul of the Court." + ["Aztec", by Gary Jennings] +% +"If it is good not to touch a woman, then it is + bad to touch a woman always and in every case." + [St. Jerome, Epistle 48.14] +% +"For the preservation of chastity, an empty and + rumbling stomach and fevered lungs are indispensable." + [St. Jerome (340?-420)] +% +"Holy virginity is a better thing than conjugal chastity.... A mother will + hold a lesser place in the Kingdom of heaven, because she has been married, + than the daughter, seeing that she is a virgin .... but if thy mother has + been humble and not proud, she will have some sort of place, but not thou..." + [Saint Jerome, Roman theologian, Sermon 354] +% +"All riches come from iniquity, and unless one has lost, another cannot + gain. Hence that common opinion seems to be very true, 'the rich man is + unjust, or the heir to an unjust one.' Opulence is always the result of + theft, if not committed by the actual possessor, then by his predecessor." + [St. Jerome (compare to Karl Marx)] +% +"Though thy father cling to thee, and thy mother rend her + garments and show thee the breasts thou has sucked, thrust + them aside with dry eyes to embrace the cross." + [St. Jerome, Letter to Heliodorus, + on true Christian "family values"] +% +"I never spared heretics and have always done my utmost so + that the enemies of the Church should also be my enemies." + [St. Jerome, 420 AD] +% +"We Catholics may lie and say we are Protestants when we are among the + Protestants or we may lie when we are among the Huguenots and say we are + Huguenots; and if we wish we can stoop so low as to say we are Jews when + we are among the Jews if our lying would benefit the Catholic Church." + [Jesuit oath from the Congressional Record] +% +"The Roman Catholic church, convinced that it is the only true church, + must demand the right to freedom for herself alone and the end of + freedom for all others." + [Jesuit publication] +% +"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth; + I came not to send peace, but a sword." + [Jesus, Matthew 10:34] +% +"But those mine enemies, which would not that I should + reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me." + [Jesus, Luke 19:27, as part + of a self-referential parable] +% +"The belief that the soul continues its existence after the + dissolution of the body is a matter of philosophical or + theological speculation rather than of simple faith, and is + accordingly nowhere expressly taught in Holy Scripture." + [The Jewish Encyclopedia (1910), Vol. VI, p. 564] +% +"If God lived on earth, people would break his windows." + [Jewish proverb, quoted in: Claud Cockburn, + Cockburn Sums Up, epigraph (1981).] +% +"No one has an idea really of where we should draw the line. What about + the Bible? Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around. If + you're looking for violent rape imagery, the Bible's right there in your + hotel room. If you just want to look up ways to screw people up, there it + is, and you're justified because God told you to. You have Shakespeare and + you have Sophocles--what are we going to do, lose _Oedipus Rex_ if someone + pokes an eye out?" + [Penn Jillette, from Reason magazine, + on censorship of violent TV shows] +% +"You have painted a world of people who are Christian because they are + weak-willed puppets, desperate for whatever will give them a sense of + purpose and security, who fear nothing more than a stable individual." + [Jim in Boulder] +% +"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints - + The sinners are much more fun." + [Billy Joel, from "Only the Good Die Young"] +% + "About half." +[Pope John XXIII, when asked how many people work in the Vatican, + from Gordon Thomas & Max Morgan-Witts, "Pontiff", p. 337] +% +"It can therefore be said that, from the viewpoint of the doctrine of + the faith, there are no difficulites in explaining the origin of man, + in regard to the body, by means of the theory of evolution." + [Pope John Paul II, April 16, 1986] +% +"Adultery is in your heart not only when you look with + excessive sexual zeal at a woman who is not your wife, + but also if you look in the same manner at your wife." + [Pope John Paul II] +% +"She spoke to him about the approximately 200,000 women who die every + year from self-induced abortions--a major health issue: "Religious + leaders--and all of us, really--must address this very important issue." + +"Don't you think," John Paul II interjected, "that all irresponsible + behavior of men is cause by women?" + [Pope John Paul II to Nafis Sadik, UN Representative, at the UN + Council for Women, from _His Holiness: John Paul II and the + Hidden History of Our Time_, by Carl Bernstein and Marco Politi] +% +"Human beings cannot be morally responsible to God. If we blame a person for + an evil act, we thereby imply that he was to some extent evil prior to his + action. For to say that a person is responsible for an evil action is to say + he caused it because he was evil. But how did he become evil? It he made + himself evil, then this would be an evil act and would--if he were responsible + for it--imply that he was already evil. It follows that the evil of a person + must precede the act of making himself evil. Therefore this individual cannot + ultimately be the responsible source of his own evil. Then who is? It cannot + be Satan, for the same argument would apply to him. It must be God, for he + created everything. Therefore God is ultimately responsible for all evil." + [B. C. Johnson, "The Atheist Debater's Handbook"] +% +"It is sometimes argued that we have a fifty-fifty betting proposition when + considering God's existence or nonexistence. If we bet that God exists and + he does exist, then we lose nothing while possibly gaining salvation. If we + bet that God exist and he does not exist, then we lose nothing. But if we + bet that God does not exist and he does exist, then we lose everything. Of + course, if we bet that God does not exist and we are correct, then we lose + nothing. Therefore it is prudent to bet on God. (This is Pascal`s Wager). + The problem with the above argument is that it does not establish a + fifty-fifty betting proposition. There are many alternatives that it fails + to consider. For example, God may exist but he may damn anyone who "bets" on + his existence merely for reasons of prudence. He may consider such a "bet" + to be an insult. Furthermore, it may be that a mere belief in God is not + enough to ensure salvation. A further requirement may be the belief in a + particular religion. But which religion? Again, there are many alternatives. + Another possible alternative is that God offers salvation only to atheist + because God does not like being surrounded by obsequious "yes-men." God may + prize independence and skepticism." + [B. C. Johnson, "The Atheist Debater's Handbook"] +% +"What excellent fools + religion makes of men!" + [Ben Johnson] +% +"Praying in churches hasn't improved society + and praying in schools won't either." + [Ellen Johnson] +% +"I believe in honesty and truthfulness, not because I fear a god or a devil, + but because I think it is the best way for people to live together. I believe + in helping others because when we cooperate with our neighbors we make life + easier for all. I believe in treating others as I want to be treated - but I + certainly do not believe in turning the other cheek and the truth is I never + knew any Christians who did either." + [James Hervey Johnson] +% +"It's critical to our national health and survival to restore social virtue + and purity to our state and nation," Johnson said. "Is living together without + the benefit of marriage good? Is homosexuality good? If cohabitating and + homosexual behavior is detrimental to the individual and to society, besides + breaking the law, then society has the responsibility to resist it." + [Arizona State Rep. Karen Johnson, a Mormon fundamentalist who + has been married 5 times, in Arizona Republic, Feb. 4, 1999] +% +"One of my favorite fantasies is that next Sunday not one woman, in any + country of the world, will go to church. If women simply stop giving our + time and energy to the institutions that oppress, they cease to be." + [Sonia Johnson] +% +"The one reason why we've always had an open Bible in every + room in the Holiday Inn motels is to help people find Jesus + and the solution to their problems, no matter who they are." + [Wallace Johnson, co-founder of Holiday Inns, + on the use of his business to proselytize] +% +"It can be shown that for any nutty theory, beyond-the-fringe + political view or strange religion there exists a proponent on + the Net. The proof is left as an exercise for your kill-file." + [Bertil Jonell] +% +"I would rather see a saloon on every corner than a Catholic in + the White House. I would rather see a nigger as president." + [Bob Jones, Sr., founder of Bob Jones University] +% +"Blacks aren't attracted to fundamentalism, and they don't like discipline." + [Bob Jones, Jr., founder of Bob Jones University] +% +"The Bible itself is intolerant, and true followers + of God's word should be as well." + [Bob Jones III] +% +"My guess is that he has forgotten. After all he is 2,000 years old and + is probably suffering from advanced Alzheimer's disease -- staggering + around pissing in his toga, exposing himself to the little teeny-bopper + angels. The old man should pull the plug." + [Earle D. Jones, on Jesus and the rapture] +% +"The rights of the people to be free to exercise their religious + and philosophical beliefs" includes *by necessity* the right to abstain + from the practise of any religious and philosophical beliefs. This right + cannot be guaranteed in any environment wherein a practice of this type + is enacted in a state funded context -- like a classroom -- and the + participation is all but complusory for those present in that they must + experience another's religious practice on their time and against their + will. School ground is not the issue. School TIME *is*. At that point, it + becomes STATE time, which makes it STATE religion. Say hello to theocracy." + [Timothy Jones <timelord@u.washington.edu>, on alt.atheism] +% +"I saw Christ last night and he looked like shit. Well that + is not suprising since he's been dead for about 2000 years." + [William Jones] +% +"'Twas only fear first in the world made gods." + [Ben Jonson (1572?-1637), Sejanus] +% +"I'm counting on you lord, please don't let me down + Prove that you love me and buy the next round" + [Janis Joplin, "Mercedes Benz"] +% +"When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; + but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!" + [David Starr Jordan, Cardiff, + What Great Men Think of Religion] +% +"That one man or ten thousand or ten million men find a + dogma acceptable does not argue for its soundness." + [David Starr Jordan, quoted in Cardiff, + "What Great Men Think of Religion"] +% +"Theologians consider that it was the sin of pride, the sinful + thought conceived in an instant: non serviam: I will not serve. + That instant was his [Lucifer's] ruin." + [James Joyce,_A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man_] +% +"The idea of an incarnation of God is absurd: why should the human race + think itself so superior to bees, ants, and elephants as to be put in + this unique relation to its maker? . . Christians are like a council + of frogs in a marsh or a synod of worms on a dung-hill croaking and + squeaking "for our sakes was the world created." + [Julian The Apostate] +% +"Such things have often happened and still happen, + and how can these be signs of the end of the world?" + [Julian, Emperor of Rome 361-363 A.D.] +% +"No wild beasts are as hostile to men as + Christian sects in general are to one another." + [Julian, Emperor of Rome 361-363 A.D.] +% +"Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a + pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city + until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian .... To him is + ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia absurdum est (I believe + because it is absurd). This does not altogether accord with historical + fact, for he merely said: + + "And the Son of God died, which is immediately credible because + it is absurd. And buried he rose again, which is certain + because it is impossible." + + Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of + philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it." + [C. G. Jung, in Psychological Types. Tertullian + was one of the founders of the Catholic Church] +% +"Religious Philosophy is an oxymoron- + a philosopher of religion is ONLY a moron" + [Kamian] +% +"NO proof. NO god. NO problem." + [Kamian] +% +"If I were to mock religious belief as childish, if I were to suggest that + worshiping a supernatual deity, convinced that it cares about your welfare, + is like worrying about monsters in the closet who find you tasty enough to + eat, if I were to describe God as our creation..... I'd violate the norms + of civility and religious correctness, I'd be excoriated as an example of + the cynical, liberal elite responsible for America's moral decline. I'd be + pitied for my spiritual blindness; some people would try to enlighten and + convert me. I'd receive hate mail. Atheists generate about as much + sympathy as pedophiles. But, while pedophilia may at least be characterized + as a disease, atheism is a choice, a willful rejection of beliefs to which + vast majorities of people cling." + [Wendy Kaminer, "The Last Taboo", in + The New Republic (Oct. 14, 1996)] +% +"In this climate -- with belief in guardian angels and creationism becoming + commonplace -- making fun of religion is as risky as burning a flag in an + American Legion hall. But, by admitting that they're fighting a winning + battle, advocates of renewed religiosity would lose the benefits of + appearing besieged. Like liberal rights organizations that attract more + money when conservative authoritarians are in power, religious groups + inspire more believers when secularism is said to hold sway." + [Wendy Kaminer, "The Last Taboo", in + The New Republic (Oct. 14, 1996)] +% +"People who believe that god exists and heeds their prayers + have probably waived the right to mock people who talk to + trees or claim to channel the spirits of Native Americans." + [Wendy Kaminer] +% +"I suspect that media elites offer virtually no analysis of the religious + impulse or majoritarian religious beliefs mainly because they fear appearing + impious or giving offense. ...What's striking about journalists and + intellectuals today, liberal and conservative alike, is not their mythic + Voltairian skepticism but their deference to belief and utter failure to + criticize, much less satirize, America's romance with God." + [Wendy Kaminer, "Sleeping with Extra-Terrestrials: + The Rise of Irrationalism and Perils of Piety"] +% +"Superstitions, cults and mysticism appear with surprising consistency + during a social crisis. Today it is ESP and UFOs, astrology and clairvoyance, + mystic cults and mesmeric healers. The growth of interest in such things is + a sure indicator of social unrest, personal uneasiness, frustration and loss + of purpose. These symptoms are also present in the West, particularly in the + U.S., where they are more chronic; in the Soviet Union, however, we have an + acute fever. ...Carl Sagan of Cornell University has told me that in the U.S. + there are 15,000 astrologers and only 1,500 astronomers. ...It is fascinating + that in the Soviet Union we are importing creationism from fundamentalists in + the U.S. ...The momentous changes happening now in the Soviet Union are the + reason for this current upsurge of the irrational. What is important is the + emerging extremism that they may signal." + [Sergei Kapitza, President of the Physical Society of the U.S.S.R. + and editor of the Russian edition of Scientific American, "Antiscience + Trends in the U.S.S.R.", Scientific American 265(2):32-38, August 1991] +% +"Convicts register their religious affiliation when they're processed into + prison. And about 99.5% of the huge U.S.A. prison population consists of + inmates who identified themselves as members of religious denominations." + [Gene M. Kasmar] +% + = AN HONEST PRAYER = +Dear Lord, love me today and forever, bless my soul and conscience +daily, agree with all of my decisions, punish my enemies until I am +satisfied, give me huge amounts of money, promise to help me always +win, look the other way when I cheat, justify my excuses and believe +all my lies, obey my wishes, and reserve the most luxurious part of +heaven just for me. I will be thankful as long as you do what I say. +Amen. + [Wally Kaspars, from LUMPEN vol 5, Nos. 8/9] +% +"Organized religion: The world's largest pyramid scheme." + [Bernard Katz] +% +"There is no opinion so absurd that a preacher could not express it." + [Bernie Katz] +% +"The child begins by acting like the grownups who believe, and + soon believes himself. The proofs come later, if at all. + Religious belief generally starts as make-believe." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"The analogy between the God of popular Roman Catholicism and a cruel Caesar + is striking: one must serve him in every way and praise him all but + continually; those who displease him are given over to eternal torture; he + cannot be approached directly even with petitions; the best procedure is to + ask somebody who has found favor-a saint, and a particular one depending on + the nature of one's case-to intercede with the mother of his son, in the hope + that she may take up the matter with her son, and the son with the father." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"Christianity preaches that love is divine and points to Jesus as the + incarnation of love: but a Buddhist, and not only a Buddhist, might well say + that the sacrifice of a few hours' crucifixion followed by everlasting bliss + at the right hand of God in heaven, while millions are suffering eternal + tortures in hell, is hardly the best possible symbol of love and self- + sacrifice. The boss's son who works briefly at lower jobs before he joins his + father at the head of the company would hardly reconcile the workers to their + fate if they should be tormented bitterly without relief. Of course, some + Christians have felt this strongly and it has troubled them deeply, but the + dominate note in the New Testament and ever since has been one of astounding + callousness." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"Those committed to an institution generally claim that all those who prefer + fresh air and freedom lack the courage to commit themselves. In fact, the + shoe is on the other foot. More often than not, commitment to an institution + issues from a want of courage to stand up alone. Typically, it is an escape, + a search for togetherness, for safety in numbers." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +"The deepest difference between religions is not that between polytheism + and monotheism.... Even the difference between theism and atheism is not + nearly so profound as that between these who feel and those who do not + feel their brothers' torments." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +"For those engaged in an impartial investigation, a man's faith creates + no presumption whatsoever of a higher probability; on the contrary, it is + more suspicious than a less emotional belief. It raises the question whether + there is considerable, albeit not compelling, evidence, or whether "faith" + is but a noble word for wishful thinking." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"Faith in immortality, like belief in God, leaves unanswered the ancient + question: is God unable to prevent suffering, and thus not omnipotent? + or is he able and not willing it and thus not merciful? and is he just?" + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +"Theologians do not just do this incidentally: (gerrymander) this is + theology. Doing theology is like doing a jigsaw puzzle in which the verses + of Scripture are the pieces: the finished picture is prescribed by each + denomination, with a certain latitude allowed. What makes the game so + pointless is that you do not have to use all the pieces, and that pieces + which do not fit may be reshaped after pronouncing the words "this means." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"As long as we cling to the conception of hell, God is not love in any human + sense-and least of all, love in the human sense raised to the highest potency + of perfection. And if we renounce the belief in hell, then the notion that + God gave his son to save those who believe in the incarnation and resurrection + looses meaning. The significance of salvation depends on an alternative, and + in traditional Christianity this alternative is eternal torment." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"Few Christians would be in doubt what to think of a father tortured his + children for forty-eight hours because they did not agree with him or did + not obey him; and if he had a great many children and had given only a + few of them a single chance while offering the vast majority no opportunity + at all to know his will, most people would consider this the epitome of an + inhuman lack of love and justice. The God of traditional Christianity, + however, outdoes even this analogy by relegating the mass of mankind to + eternal torment." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"To try to fashion something from suffering, to relish our triumphs, + and to endure defeats without resentment: all that is compatible + with the faith of a heretic." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +"Once we decide to be dishonest with our children, our students, or our + readers, we have a vested interest in suppressing honesty, in censorship." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +"They may think they chose their doctrine because it is offered to us as + infallible and true, but this is plainly no sufficient reason: scores of + other doctrines, scriptures, and apostles, sects and parties, cranks and + sages make the same claim. Those who claim to know which of the lot is + justified in making such a bold claim, those who tell us that this faith + or that is really infallible and true are presupposing in effect, whether + they realize this or not, that they themselves happen to be infallible." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +"Consider the justice of the God of St. Augustine-and by no means only + St. Augustine. All men deserve damnation, but God elects a few for salvation. + They do not deserve this: the grace of God would not by gratia if it were not + gratis. Yet the damned cannot complain that God is unjust, for no man + receives a worse lot than he deserves, only some receive a better lot, and + this shows God's infinite mercy. + No student would be in doubt for a moment what to think of the justice + of a teacher who gave a test that everybody failed and then nevertheless gave + a few of his students "excellent," justifying his procedure along the lines + suggested by Augustine. This is precisely what we mean by injustice." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"First: having to use means to achieve ends is one of the features that + distinguishes limited power from omnipotence. Second: the uneconomic use + of unpleasant means to achieve doubtful ends with frequent failures clearly + points to limited power rather than omnipotence." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +"Pascal assumes that the man who believes in order to save his neck, + unequivocally prompted by self-seeking prudence, will be saved, while the + man who denies himself the comfort of belief in the name of intellectual + integrity will not be saved. What, then, does Pascal consider godlike?" + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"What Pascal overlooked was the hair-raising possibility that God might + out-Luther Luther. A special area in hell might be reserved for those who + go to mass. Or God might punish those whose faith is prompted by prudence. + Perhaps God prefers the abstinent to those who whore around with some + denomination he despises. Perhaps he reserves special rewards for those + who deny themselves the comfort of belief. Perhaps the intellectual + ascetic will win all while those who compromise their intellectual + integrity lose everything." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"To make sense of the churches' mission to save souls, one must suppose that + those who either are not reached by Christian preaching or reject it are + not saved but left to some bad fate, traditionally named hell. To make sense + of the churches, mission, one has to suppose that a man's eternal fate does + not depend on his own efforts or his conduct, and that God lets our eternal + bliss or torment hinge, at least in large part, on the efficiency of one or + another organization. A human judge acting in analogous fashion would be + said to have abdicated any effort to be just." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +"Christianity, from its inception, has conceived itself as an enemy of + reason and worldly wisdom; it has exerted itself to impede the development + of reason, belittled the achievements of reason, and gloated over the + setbacks of reason." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"The more important the issue at hand, the more it demands careful scrutiny. + This is a simple but important point which most religious people overlook." + [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"The attempt to solve the problem of suffering by postulating original + sin depends on the belief that cruelty is justified when it is + retributive;indeed, that morality demands retribution." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +"Dissatisfied with oneself, one becomes a seeker. Difficulty becomes + a challenge and delight; critical thinking, a way of live." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% + "Theology is the systematic attempt to pour the + newest wine into the old skins of a denomination." +[Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"] +% +"It is always tempting to divide men into two lots: Greeks and barbarians, + Muslims and infidels, those who believe in God and those who don't. But who + does not fear to understand things that threaten his beliefs? Of course, + one is not consciously afraid; but everybody who is honest with himself + finds that often he does not try very hard to understand what clashes + with his deep convictions." + [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"] +% +A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove +anything. + -- Friedrich Nietzsche +% +A Catholic and a Methodist were carpooling to work one morning, when a brick +fell out of the sky, which startled the driver and caused him to swerve off +the road and into a telephone pole, totaling the car. + The two stumbled out of the wreckage, both feeling quite fortunate +to be alive. The Catholic crossed himself. Then the Protestant crossed +himself in an accentuated manner. + "Hey," said the Catholic, "I why did you cross yourself, you're not +Catholic!" + "Just checking," replied his friend, crossing himself again, +"spectacles, testicles, wallet, pen." +% +A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on +Saturday and is going to do on Monday. + -- Thomas Ybarra +% +A clever prophet makes sure of the event first. +% +A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than +he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men +favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter +facts of life in bandages of self-illusion. + -- H. L. Mencken +% +A key to the understanding of all religions is that a God's idea of a +good time is a game of Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs. +% + A man dies and is getting his tour of heaven. His guide is pointing +out the various features and landmarks when the man asks, "What's that cliff?" + "Oh, you don't want to look down there. That's hell!" + The man creeps up to the edge and looks over. He sees lush, green +valleys, verdant farmland and trees everywhere. "This doesn't look so bad," +he says. + Puzzled, the guide comes over and looks down. "Damn!" he snaps, +"Those Mormons have been irrigating again!" +% +A man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it. +By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it. As he +was hanging there for dear life, he looked up and cried out, + "Is anybody there?" +A deep majestic voice answered, + "Yes my son, I am here. What do you need?" + "Help me!!" cried the man. + "I will help you", said the voice, "Just let go of the branch and +you'll be safe. All you have to do is trust." +The man thought for a moment and cried out: + "Anybody ELSE up there?" +% +A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle. +% +"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a +good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious +scruples and the police." + -- Mr. Dooley +% +A myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes. + -- James Feibleman, "Understanding Philosophy" +% +A Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone, somewhere, is +having fun. +% +A rabbi and a priest are sitting together on a train, and the rabbi leans +over and asks, "So, how high can you advance in your organization?" + The priest replies, "Well, if I am lucky, I guess I could become a +Bishop." + "Well, could you get any higher than that?" + "I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I +might be made an Archbishop." + "Is there any way that you might go higher than that?" + "If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal." + "Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" + Hesitating a little bit, the priest said, "I supose that I could +be elected Pope, but only if it's God's will." + "And could you be anything higher than that, is there any way to go +up from being the Pope?" + "What?! I should be the Messiah himself?!" + The rabbi leaned back and smiled. "One of our boys made it." +% +"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western +religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of +Western science." + -- Gary Zukav, "The Dancing Wu Li Masters" +% +All Gods were immortal. + -- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts" +% +All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things +against him, but we never hear his side. + -- Mark Twain +% +All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog. + -- R. Crumb +% +Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that every +subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be submitted +to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered samples of learning +must go to the same assay-room and be subjected to common tests. It is the +essence of all dogmatic faiths to hold that any such "show-down" is +sacrilegious and perverse. The characteristic of religion, from their point +of view, is that it is intellectually secret, not public; peculiarly revealed, +not generally known; authoritatively declared, not communicated and tested +in ordinary ways...It is pertinent to point out that, as long as religion +is conceived as it is now by the great majority of professed religionists, +there is something self-contradictory in speaking of education in religion +in the same sense in which we speak of education in topics where the method +of free inquiry has made its way. The "religious" would be the last to be +willing that either the history of the content of religion should be taught +in this spirit; while those to whom the scientific standpoint is not merely +a technical device, but is the embodiment of the integrity of mind, must +protest against its being taught in any other spirit. + -- John Dewey, "Democracy in the Schools", 1908 +% +An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support. +% +"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest +unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine +bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits, +provideth that they are nice and fresh.'" + -- Dave Barry, "Getting Religion" +% +...And have you ever noticed that you never see the Father, the Son, and +the Holy Ghost partying together at the same time? Oh, sure, everybody +talks like they aren't the same person, but I wonder... +% + And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?" + They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground +of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood +revealed." + And Jesus replied, "What?" +% +...and no philosophy, sadly, has all the answers. No matter how assured +we may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful +inconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions. This is true in religion +as it is in politics, and is self-evident to all except fanatics and the +naive. As for the fanatics, whose number is legion in our own time, we +might be advised to leave them to heaven. They will not, unfortunately, do +us the same courtesy. They attack us and each other, and whatever their +protestations to peaceful intent, the bloody record of history makes clear +that they are easily disposed to restore to the sword. My own belief in +God, then, is just that -- a matter of belief, not knowledge. My respect +for Jesus Christ arises from the fact that He seems to have been the most +virtuous inhabitant of Planet Earth. But even well-educated Christians are +frustated in their thirst for certainty about the beloved figure of Jesus +because of the undeniable ambiguity of the scriptural record. Such ambiguity +is not apparent to children or fanatics, but every recognized Bible scholar +is perfectly aware of it. Some Christians, alas, resort to formal lying to +obscure such reality. + -- Steve Allen +% + And on the third day, Christ arose, pushed aside the rock that had +served as the tomb door, and walked again on the earth. + And as he departed, a passer-by pointed at the door Jesus had left +open. "What's the matter with you?" he said. "Born in a barn?" +% +Ankh if you love Isis. +% +Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent. + -- Lazarus Long +% +As I argued in "Beloved Son", a book about my son Brian and the subject of +religious communes and cults, one result of proper early instruction in the +methods of rational thought will be to make sudden mindless conversions -- +to anything -- less likely. Brian now realizes this and has, after eleven +years, left the sect he was associated with. The problem is that once the +untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy -- +and it does not matter whether that philosophy is generally reasonable and +high-minded or utterly bizarre and irrational -- the powers of reason are +suprisingly ineffective in changing the believer's mind. + -- Steve Allen +% +As the Catholic church becomes more and more tolerant, some day they will +have to consider the possibility of a gay pope. Possibly the largest +issue will be having to decide whether he is "absolutely divine" or "just +simply marvelous." +% +As the recent sightings of bumper stickers reading "IN CASE OF RAPTURE, THIS +VEHICLE WILL BE UNMANNED" have created a great deal of confusion, Fortune +offers the following excerpts from the 1989 printing of the State of Maryland +Driver's Handbook: + If you notice a glorious light in the sky, a sound as of an infinite +choir of unearthly voices, and a host of winged beings descending from the +heavens, do not panic. If you are on the freeway, move to the shoulder as +soon as it is safe to do so, activate your hazard blinkers, and wait for the +end of the world. If you are Saved, it is especially important that you do +this BEFORE you are carried to your Eternal Reward, in order that your vehicle +not become a hazard to others. Remember, Rapture is the number one cause of +automobile accidents during major spiritual upheavals. You may experience a +feeling of discorporation ("being pulled from one's body") while driving. To +ensure the safety of your passengers and other drivers, move to the shoulder +as soon as you notice any of the following symptoms: + -- An overwhelming sense of peace and happiness. + -- Visions of the faces of deceased family members. + -- A glorious figure in white, beckoning from the end of a tunnel of +white mist (do not confuse this with traffic control or maintainance officers, +who wear dark blue and safety orange.) + Once the feeling has passed, inspect your surroundings. If still in +your car, you have probably suffered a stroke and should have someone drive +you to a hospital at once. If you find yourself in the Kingdom of God, consult +the local officials for information on local traffic rules and regulations. +% +As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, +as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; +but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, +with most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his divinity. + -- Benjamin Franklin +% +Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, +If God won't have you, the devil must. +% +Atheism is a non-prophet organization. +% +Better the prince of some inferior court, +Than second, or less, in beatific light. + -- Lucifer, Joost van den Vondel's "Lucifer" +% +Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The +danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with +the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell. + -- St. Augustine +% +Brother Jim's recent appearance on the William and Mary campus this past +week was cut short by an ingenious device designed by two computer science +students. A three-foot bar of extruded aluminum was precisely machined, +with a hole milled down the center of precisely the dimensions of one of +the small Gideon bibles. The end capped off, a CO2 canister was connected +to provide up to 2,000 PSIG. Prelimary estimates during field testing +revealed a muzzle velocity of approximarly 120-150 MPH for bibles exiting +the tube. Sufficient ammunition was obtained during a previous visit to +campus by another religious organization, and the system was first used on +Brother Jim, who suffered a broken rib and numerous small bruises, in +addition to the usual humiliation. +% +Campus crusade for Cthulhu -- it found me. +% +Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when +Communion is served there is also a salad bar. + -- Bill Marr +% +Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint Him. +% +Christianity and Judaism aren't all that different, really. Growing up in +a Christian family, the feeling of guilt for Man's sins comes from God. +In a Jewish family, it comes from your parents. +% +Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found +difficult and not tried. + -- G. K. Chesterton +% +Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it. + -- George Bernard Shaw +% +"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple +and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and +because good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be +more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our +entire intellectualy heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing +honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment +to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any +general understanding of science as an enterprise? + -- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer" +% +Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them. + -- Madonna +% +Cthulhu Cthucks! +% +Cthulhu for President! + (If you're tired of choosing the lesser of two evils.) +% +Cthulhu Saves -- in case He's hungry later. +% +David was just a shepherd who liked to get his rocks off in leather. +% +Dear Ann Landers: + My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims +one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to +know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something. + -- E. J. Mayfield +% +Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of +fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch. + -- L. Ron Hubbard +% +Did you ever wonder what you'd say to God if He sneezed? +% +Didja hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa? +% +... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion. The several sects +perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity +attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the +introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; +yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. + -- Thomas Jefferson, "Notes on Virginia" +% +Driving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly +pointed out of the car window and said, "That is the most frightening +sight I have ever seen." His companion was surprised to see nothing +more alarming than a priest in conversation with a little boy, his hand +on the child's shoulder. "Run, little boy," cried Hitchcock, leaning +out of the car. "Run for your life!" +% +During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has +been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, +pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; +in both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution. + -- James Madison +% +Enemy -- SP (Suppressive Person) Order. Fair Game. May be deprived of +property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline +of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed. + -- L. Ron Hubbard, "Fair Game Doctrine" +% +Ere the cock crows thrice one of you will betray me. + -- Early Jewish Resistance Leader +% +Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. + -- Lenny Bruce +% +"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." + -- Mark Twain +% +Go to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to +all your troubles. + -- Andrew Jackson + +The foundations of our society and our government rest so much on the +teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith +in these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country. + -- Calvin Coolidge + +Lastly, our ancestors established their system of government on morality and +religious sentiment. Moral habits, they believed, cannot safely be trusted +on any other foundation than religious principle, nor any government be +secure which is not supported by moral habits. + -- Daniel Webster +% +God did not create the world in seven days; he screwed around for six +days and then pulled an all-nighter. +% +God is a polytheist. +% +God is an atheist. +% +GOD is applied POWER + which is applied GOVERNMENT + which is applied POLITICS + which is applied ADVERTISING + which is applied SOCIOLOGY + which is applied PSYCHOLOGY + which is applied BIOLOGY + which is applied CHEMISTRY + which is applied PHYSICS + which is applied MATH + which is applied PHILOSOPHY + which is applied BULLSHIT +% +"God is as real as I am," the old man said. My faith was restored, for +I knew that Santa would never lie. +% +"God is big, so don't fuck with him." +% +God is not dead -- he's been busted. +% +God is not dead! He's alive and autographing bibles at Cody's. +% +God is not dead. He is alive and well and working on a much less +ambitious project. +% +God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent -- it says so right here +on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these +divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No +checks, please. Cash and in small bills. + -- Lazarus Long +% +God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place. +% +God isn't dead, He's just trying to avoid the draft. +% +God made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh. +% +God must love assholes -- She made so many of them. +% +God said it, I believe it and that's all there is to it. +% +God votes Republican. +% + God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on +where to go. + "Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter. + "No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God. + "Well, how about Mercury?" + "No, it's too hot there." + "Okay," said St. Peter, "What about Earth?" + "No," sighed God, "They're such horrible gossips. When I was +there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're +still talking about it." +% +God wants us to know that if we see a bumper sticker saying "Honk if you love +Jesus" it is a bad idea to honk to express an opinion about Jesus because it +will annoy the turkey who put the bumper sticker on as well as everyone else +in the vicinity. However, it is just fine to honk to annoy the turkey simply +for being a turkey, for God told Man to be fruitful and multiply, and to rule +over the beasts of the field and the birds of the air, and that includes the +turkeys who buy such bumper stickers. Of course, God understands that innocent +bystanders will also be annoyed, but He has wisely created traffic cops to +impose some constraint on how much we may annoy the turkeys within city limits, +for God's wisdom comprehends full well that thou shalt not make an omelette +without breaking eggs. God only wishes they were turkey eggs, so such moral +dilemmas shall be fewer in number in the future, when the generations a-coming +(hallelujah) won't have so many turkeys to deal with. But God knows full well +that such things take time, and the turkeys are showing more resilience than +expected, and may be with us for a long time yet. +% +He has been known by many names; the Prince of Lies, the Director, Lucifer, +Belial, and once, at a party, some obnoxious drunk kept calling him "Dude". + -- Stig's Inferno +% +Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant, on October +23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning. + -- Dr. John Lightfoot, + Vice-chancellor of Cambridge University +% +History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion -- +i.e., none to speak of. + -- Lazarus Long +% +However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There +is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. +There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, +or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. But like any +powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used +sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are +not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force +government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree +with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they +threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and +tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen +that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C," and +"D." Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to +claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more +angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group +who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll +call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step +of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans +in the name of "conservatism." + -- Senator Barry Goldwater, Congressional Record +% +I am an atheist, thank God! +% +I call Christianity the one great curse, the one enormous and innermost +perversion, the one great instinct of revenge, for which no means are +too venomous, too underhand, too underground and too petty -- I call it +the one immortal blemish of mankind. + -- Fredrich Nietzsche +% +I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman +Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, +nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church. + -- Thomas Paine +% +I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with +sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use. + -- Galileo Galilei +% +I don't care what star you're following, get that camel off my front lawn! + -- Heard in Bethlehem +% +I figure that if God actually does exist, He's big enough to understand an +honest difference of opinion. + -- Isaac Asimov +% + "I think he said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'" + "Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manufacturers of dairy +products." + -- The Life of Brian +% +"I'd like to start a new religion. One that doesn't use a dead young +man as its logo." + -- Bill Cain, "Stand Up Tragedy" +% +I'm a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from man. +% +I'm an evolutionist; I refuse to believe that I could have been created by man. +% +If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is +identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a +collection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then I +have no doubt, and I think few people doubt, that atheists are as +plentiful as blackberries. + -- Leslie Stephen +% +If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour. + -- William Blake +% +If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. + -- Voltaire, "Epitres, XCVI" +% +"If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10 +apostles." +% +If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows. + -- Yiddish saying +% +If Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; terrible +carpenter. + -- Gene Kirkwood, on Hollywood +% +If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They +would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it. + -- Thomas Carlyle +% +If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection +of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching +in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not +far to seek. ... The cause lay largely in the diversity and vitality of the +various denominations, each fairly sure that, with a fair field and no favor, +it could make its own way; and each animated by a jealous fear that, if any +connection of State and Church were permitted, some rival denomination would +get an unfair advantage. + -- John Dewey, "Democracy in the Schools", 1908 +% +If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, +this would be a better world. + -- Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Days" +% +If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, +I would have recommended something simpler. + -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile, + Commenting on the Almagest, by Ptolemy. +% +If you can believe ten impossible things before breakfast, then you +should join + + THE CHURCH OF COUNTERFACTUAL BELIEF + +The Church of Counterfactual Belief has been set up to cater to all who +don't allow demonstrable truth to get in the way of their beliefs. In +addition to creation science and the flatness of the earth, the +following beliefs have been certified by Pope Duane as Church dogma: + + -- That there is a hole in the Earth at the North Pole from which + UFOs come. + -- That pi equals precisely 3.000. + -- That sex can be enjoyed only by blacks and homosexuals. + -- That Billy Joe Wilson (Hoopla, Miss.) has successfully squared + the circle. + -- That Harry Truman is still president, and doing a fine job. + -- That pi equals precisely 22/7. + +Several other important counterfactual beliefs are presently being +studied, including Reaganomics, A.I., and that the moon landings were +done in a Hollywood special effects studio. These will be the subject +of a forthcoming Papal Bull ... +% +If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists +in the Bible. + -- Mordecai Richler +% +If you liked the Earth you'll love Heaven. +% +Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try. + -- John Lennon, "Imagine" +% +"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with +reality at any point." + -- Friedrich Nietzsche +% +In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty. + -- Thomas Jefferson +% +In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless +he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client +has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated +that "If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time +ago." + -- Dennis Miller, SNL News +% + In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud." + And there was mud. + And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud +can see what we have done." + And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was +man. Mud-as-man alone could speak. + "What is the purpose of all this?" man asked politely. + "Everything must have a purpose?" asked God. + "Certainly," said man. + "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God. + And He went away. + -- Kurt Vonnegut, Between Time and Timbuktu" +% +"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time +someone writes `bible thumpers?' + -- Joel M. Snyder, jms@mis.arizona.edu +% +It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us +believe there are. + -- Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid) +% + It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all +primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach +of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings +arise, which in their intensification lead the individual to forget himself +completely. ... Not only does the bond between man and man come to be forged +once again by the magic of the Dionysian rite, but alienated, hostile, or +subjugated nature again celebrates her reconciliation with her prodigal son, +man. + -- Fred Nietzsche, The Birth of Tragedy +% +"It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then +god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side." + -- Frank Zappa +% +It seems that a rabbi, a priest and a minister decided to go fishing one +sunny afternoon. All three climbed into the boat and headed for the middle +of the lake. After several hours of relaxation, the minister decided that +"nature was calling", and climbed out of the boat and walked ashore. In +a few moments, he walked back out to the boat and climbed back in. + The rabbi was absolutely astonished, but decided not to mention +the apparent miracle. + A few minutes later, the priest also decided to go ashore for a +moment, and climbed out of the boat, walked to shore, and a few minutes +later came back. + By now the rabbi was in great distress and had begun to doubt his +beliefs and wonder if there might be some validity to the Christian +teachings. But he immediately reaffirmed the fact that his faith WAS JUST +AS STRONG as either the priest's or the minister's and decided that anything +they could do, with God's help, he could do as well. + The rabbi then announced that he needed relief and would walk to +shore. He climbed out of the boat and went straight to the bottom of the +lake. While the rabbi was thrashing about in the water, the priest turned to +the minister and said, "So... do you think we ought to tell him where the +rocks are?" +% +It seems that there was this Christian about to be thrown to the lions. He +was shoved into the middle of the arena and the lion was released. Being +a good Christian, as the lion approached he knelt and prayed, asking God for +forgiveness for his (few) sins, and begging that the lion might be dissuaded +from eating him for its breakfast. Much to his dismay, the lion didn't stop +but kept coming, getting faster and faster, now almost running, so the +Christian took off too. There they were, running around and around the arena, +the lion getting closer and the Christian praying harder and harder between +gasps for breath. The lions breath was now hot upon his heels and he could +even feel droplets of the lions saliva splashing on his bare feet. So he +pulled out all the stops, promising God that if the lion will only spare him, +he will devote the rest of his life to spreading the Christian faith, +forsaking all temptation and possessions. Suddenly he no longer felt the +lions breath, no longer heard the great beast's snarls close behind him. +Slowing to a stop, he turned around and saw the lion on its knees, eyes rolled +upward, paws held together. The lion appeared to be muttering something so +the Christian approached until he could make out what the lion was saying. + +"Dear Lord, for what I am about to receive..." +% +... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the +existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great +systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative +hypothesis of an extremely low order of probability. + -- Sidney Hook +% +Jehovah is an alien and still threatens this planet! +% +Jesus died for your sins. Make it worth his time. +% +Jesus has just stopped the crowd from stoning Mary Magdalene to death +and is berating the self-pious with the famous speech, "Let the one +among you who is without sin cast the first stone..." + Right about then, a rock comes winging through the air and hits +Jesus upside the head. He whirls around and shouts "Alright, Mom, c'mon! +I'm trying to make a point, here!" +% +Jesus Never Fails + +(He's never taken the Massachusetts Bar Exam, either.) +% +Jesus Saves! + +(And Esposito scores on the rebound!) +% +Jesus Saves, +Moses Invests, +But only Buddha pays Dividends. +% +Jesus Saves, +Moses Invests, +But only Buddha pays Dividends. +% +"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!" + -- Daniel Hinojosa +% +Jesus was killed by a Moral Majority. +% +John Paul II is famous for his touring, and his quaint habit of pressing +his lips to foreign soil on his arrival. This sparked some wit to remark: + "The Pope has it backwards: he kisses the ground, and walks on +the women!" +% +LET Jesus be YOUR anchor! + +So when Satan rocks your boat, THROW Jesus overboard! +% +Little Herbie had been blind since birth. One day at bedtime, his mother +told him that the next day was a very special one. If he prayed extra +hard, he'd be able to see when he woke up the next morning. The next +morning she came into Herbie's room and asked him if he'd prayed hard +the night before. + "Yes, Mommie," was his reply, "all night long!" + "Well, then," she said, "open your eyes and you'll know that +your prayers have been answered." +Little Herbie opened his eyes, only to cry out, + "Mother! Mother! I still can't see!" + "I know, dear," said his mother, "April Fool." +% +Man proposes, God disposes. + -- Thomas `a Kempis +% +Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It +is not so. It is so. It is not so. + -- Benjamin Franklin, "Poor Richard's Almanack" +% +Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God +is a cruel and capricious tyrant. + -- Edward Gibbon +% +Militant agnostic: I don't know, and you don't either. +% +My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him +in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was +Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus. + -- T. Bywater +% +Newsflash: + Apparently the rapture did occur last Tuesday as was originally +predicted. All true believers were transported to heaven while the rest +of us were left behind to await the Anti-Christ and the end of the world. + Widespread reports that the rapture had not occurred stemmed from +expectations that the effect would be more widespread than it turned out +to be. The definition of "true believer" was apparently more restrictive +than expected, however, and the only qualifiers were a family of five, +living in Stenton, North Dakota. +% +"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends." + -- Woody Allen +% +Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- +bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers +have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence +of God. The argument follows: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, +"for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, +"the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved +by chance, thus proving that you exist, therefore by your own arguements, +you don't. QED." "Oh, dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and +promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. + -- D. Adams +% +Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each +of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. + +In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called +it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to +synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each +other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to +the atheists) "Look out for the wall!" + -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide" +% +Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell +for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group +as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first +group and lost all the friends I had made and I joined up with this new +group. I fought like hell for them. But another group came around. They +exposed the word of my group as false and materialistic. Their word was +very much better. So I quit the second group and lost all the friends I +had made. And I joined up with this new group. I fought like hell for them. +Till this one guy came along and proved that there wasn't any word at all. +That I should go off as an individual and grow! So I quit the last group +and lost all the friends I had made. And now I sit home alone all day and +all I do is grow. It would be nice to join up with some others who feel +the way I do. + -- J. Feiffer +% +One man's theology is another man's belly laugh. +% +One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible +from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at +least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts +are, of course, simply amazing. God is an extremely uneven writer, but +when He's good, nobody can touch Him. + -- John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan 1983 +% +One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has +occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist. + -- Jane Wagner, "The Search for Signs of Intelligent + Life in the Universe" +% +One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at +the stake while the votes were being counted. + -- Thomas B. Reed +% +Pain is just God's way of hurting you. +% +Paster Crosstalk: What items are specifically mentioned by GOD as being + unclean? Now did you know... preying birds... praying mantises... + All birds of prey, all carrion eaters, fish eaters -- no good, can't + eat those. Nothing that does not have both fins and scales. Most + CREEPING things... +Alvarado: How 'bout caterpillars? +P: A caterpillar doesn't have a backbone. Nothing without a backbone + can get in. +A: How do you know? You char a caterpillar, it gets real stiff! +P: Well, I don't think that the Lord meant us to eat CHARRED + CATERPILLARS! +[...] +P: The hog, the squirrel... little squirrels. Who would want to eat + a LITTLE SQUIRREL? +A: If you're starving. If you're starving in the park one day. +P: You'd probably just CHAR 'em to get 'em stiff, wouldn't ya? +A: No, you SINGE 'em. You SINGE 'em and eat 'em. *I* read about the + Donner Pass, I know what man does when he's hungry. +P: Squirrels eating squirrels -- my GOD, that's sick! +A: That's sick, SURE. But a MAN eating a squirrel -- that's (heh, heh) + par for the course, Charlie. + -- Firesign Theatre +% +Pope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history of the +Church, reigning for two hours and six minutes on 1 April 1866. The +white smoke had hardly faded into the blue of the Vatican skies before it +dawned on the assembled multitudes in St. Peter's Square that his name +had hilarious possibilities. The crowds fell about, helpless with +laughter, singing + Half a pound of tuppenny rice + Half a pound of treacle + That's the way the chimney smokes + Pope Goestheveezl +The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter +streaming down their faces. The event set a record for hilarious civic +functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron Hans Neizant +B"ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K"oln in 1653. + -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac" +% +Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. + -- Stephen Coonts, "The Minotaur" +% +Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion. + -- Blake +% +Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin. + -- Anatole France +% +Religion is a crutch, but that's okay... humanity is a cripple. +% +Religion is fine, Churchianity sucks. +% +Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. + -- Napoleon +% +Religions revolve madly around sexual questions. +% +Seems like these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three +were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, with +the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost +again, decided to appeal to a higher authority. "Oh, God!" he cried. "I +know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please show me a sign, +so they too will know that I understand Your laws." + It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his +plaint, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once +and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other +three disagreed, pointing out that stormclouds form on hot days. + So he asked again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am +right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign." + This time four stormclouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form +one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning knocked down a tree ten feet away from +the rabbis. The cloud dispersed at once. "I told you I was right!" insisted +the loner, but the others insisted that nothing had happened that could not +be explained by natural causes. + The insisting rabbi is all ready to ask for a *very big* sign when +just as he says "Oh God..." the sky turns pitch black, the earth shakes, and +a deep, booming voice intones, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!" + The sky returns to normal. The one rabbi puts his hands on his hips +and snarls, "Well?" "Okay, okayyyy," replied another, "so now it's 3 to 2!" +% +Seems like this farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans +to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, +the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around. +During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's +work, praying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your +dreams!" + A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. +Lo and behold, it's like a completely different place -- the farm house is +completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and +other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields +are filled with crops planted in neat rows. "Amazing!" the preacher says. +"Look what God and you have accomplished together!" + "Yes, reverend," replies the farmer, "but remember what the farm was +like when God was working it alone!" +% +She say, Miss Colie, You better hush. God might hear you. Let 'im hear me, +I say. If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a +different place, I can tell you. + -- Alice Walker, "The Color Purple" +% +Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. + [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.] + -- Voltaire +% +Sixtus V, Pope from 1585 to 1590 authorized a printing of the Vulgate +Bible. Taking no chances, the pope issued a papal bull automatically +excommunicating any printer who might make an alteration in the text. +This he ordered printed at the beginning of the Bible. He personally +examined every sheet as it came off the press. Yet the published +Vulgate Bible contained so many errors that corrected scraps had to be +printed and pasted over them in every copy. The result provoked wry +comments on the rather patchy papal infallibility, and Pope Sixtus had +no recourse but to order the return and destruction of every copy. +% +Smile, Cthulhu Loathes You. +% +So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of +intelligence. + -- Bertrand Russell +% +So, if there's no God, who changes the water? + -- New Yorker cartoon of two goldfish in a bowl +% +So, what's with this guy Gideon, anyway? And why can't he ever remember +his Bible? +% +So... how come the Corinthians never wrote back? +% +Some people seem to think that "damn" is God's last name. +% +Some things have to be believed to be seen. +% +Such evil deeds could religion prompt. + -- Titus Lucretius Carus +% +Sure banking is Biblical! + +How about when Onan received a substantial penalty for early withdrawal? +Or when Pharaoh's daughter went into the bulrushes and came out with a +little prophet? And it was Moses who led the Children of Israel to the +Banks of the Jordan! +% +Taoism: Shit Happens. +Confucianism: Confucious say, "Shit Happens". +Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. +Hinduism: This shit has happened before. +Protestantism: Shit happens, but it happens to someone else. +Catholicism: Shit happens, but you deserved it. +Judaism: Why does shit always happen to US? +% +Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising +amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered +the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling +to risk offending God's grandmother. + -- Len Cool, "American Pie" +% +Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, +and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about +his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the +sublime confession: Credo quia absurdum est (I believe because it is absurd). +This does not altogether accord with historical fact, for he merely said: + "And the Son of God died, which is immediately credible because it + is absurd. And buried he rose again, which is certain because it + is impossible." +Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of +philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it. + -- C. G. Jung, "Psychological Types" + [Tertullian was one of the founders of the Catholic Church. Ed.] +% +"That's no answer," Job said, "And for someone who's supposed to be +omnipotent, let me tell you 'tabernacle' has only one l." + -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers" +% +The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could +never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma. + -- Abraham Lincoln +% +The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity; +the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of a +military spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and +private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion; +and the soldiers' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of both sexes +who could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity. + -- Edward Gibbons, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire" +% +The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being +as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of +the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the +dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with +this artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine +doctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors. + -- Thomas Jefferson +% + The devout Jew was beside himself because his son had been dating +a shiksa, so he went to visit his rabbi. The rabbi listened solemnly to +his problem, took his hand, and said, "Pray to God." + So the Jew went to the synagogue, bowed his head, and prayed, "God, +please help me. My son, my favorite son, he's going to marry a shiksa, he +sees nothing but goyim..." + "Your son," boomed down this voice from the heavens, "you think +you got problems. What about my son?" +% +The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in +the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, +and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity. + -- John Adams +% +"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly +teaches me to suspect that my own is also." + +"I would not interfere with any one's religion, either to strengthen it +or to weaken it. I am not able to believe one's religion can affect his +hereafter one way or the other, no matter what that religion may be. +But it may easily be a great comfort to him in this life -- hence it is a +valuable posession to him." + +"I do not see how eternal punishment hereafter could accomplish any good +end, therefore I am not able to believe in it. To chasten a man in order +to perfect him might be reasonable enough; to annihilate him when he shall +have proved himself incapable of reaching perfection mught be reasonable +enough; but to roast him forever for the mere satisfaction of seeing him +roast would not be reasonable -- even the atrocious God imagined by the Jews +would tire of the spectacle eventually." + -- Mark Twain +% +The ecumenical movement has reached a milestone with the agreement on the +text of the first Jewish-Catholic prayer -- one that begins "Oy vay, Maria". +% +... The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost would never throw the Devil +out of Heaven as long as they still need him as a fourth for bridge. + -- Letter in NEW LIBERTARIAN NOTES #19 +% +The first and almost the only Book deserving of universal attention is +the Bible. + -- John Quincy Adams + +All the good from the Saviour of the world is communicated through this Book; +but for the Book we could not know right from wrong. All the things desirable +to man are contained in it. + -- Abraham Lincoln + +... the Bible ... is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of +life, the nature of God and spirtual nature and need of men. It is the only +guide of life which really leads the spirit in the way of peace and salvation. + -- Woodrow Wilson +% +The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty +prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant +with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell. + -- St. Augustine +% +The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. +That is why they invented hell. + -- Bertrand Russell +% +The Israelites were all waiting anxiously at the foot of the mountain, +knowing that Moses had had a tough day negotiating with God over the +Commandments. Finally a tired Moses came into sight. + "I've got some good news and some bad news, folks," he said. "The +good news is that I got Him down to ten. The bad news is that adultery's +still in." +% +The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. +Indian Giver be the name of the Lord. +% +The Messiah will come. There will be a resurrection of the dead -- all +the things that Jews believed in before they got so damn sophisticated. + -- Rabbi Meir Kahane +% +The Most Unsuccessful Version Of The Bible + The most exciting version of the Bible was printed in 1631 by Robert +Barker and Martin Lucas, the King's printers at London. It contained +several mistakes, but one was inspired -- the word "not" was omitted from +the Seventh Commandment and enjoined its readers, on the highest authority, +to commit adultery. + Fearing the popularity with which this might be received in remote +country districts, King Charles I called all 1,000 copies back in and fined +the printers L3,000. + -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures" +% +The nearer to the church, the further from God. + -- John Heywood +% +The new priest was so nervous about performing his first mass that he could +hardly speak. He asked his Monsignor how he could relax. The Monsignor +replied that it might help relax him to add just a bit of vodka to the water +pitcher. The next Sunday, after following the Monsignor's advice, the priest +returned to the rectory to find a note from that worthy. + + (1) Next time sip rather than gulp. + (2) There are ten commandments, not 12. + (3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. + (4) We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T". + (5) The recommended grace before meals is not, + "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, Yaaaay, God!" + (6) Do not refer to our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and his + Apostles as "J.C. and the Boys". + (7) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. + (8) The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost are never referred + to as, "Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook". + (9) It is always the Virgin Mary, never The Mary with the Cherry. + (10) Last, but not least, next Wednesday there will be a + Taffy-Pulling Contest at St.Peter's, not a Peter-Pulling + Contest at St. Taffy's. +% +The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist. + -- Stendhal +% +The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that +the first one was useless. + -- Nicolas Chamfort +% +The priest at Sunday mass noticed that Michael took a ten-dollar bill and two +one-dollar bills from the collection plate, instead of putting something in. +He thought to himself, I'd better watch out for Michael. The next week he +noticed the same thing. So he waited outside church when mass was over, and +as Michael came out, he accosted his and said, + "Michael, tell me -- why did you take out a ten-dollar bill and two +singles two weeks in a row, instead of putting money into the collection?" + Michael replied, "Father, I'm embarrassed, but I did it because I +wanted to go downtown for a blow job." + The priest looked suprised but said to Michael, "Listen, don't do +that anymore. I'll be watching you from now on." + When he got back to the rectory, the priest was still perplexed. +Finally he decided to call Mother Agatha at the convent. He said, "Mother, +you've been such a great friend of mine, I have a question I need to ask you. +What is a blow job?" + Mother Agatha replied, "Oh, twelve dollars, same as downtown." +% +The reason Roman Catholics are allowed to use the rhythm method of birth +control is that it doesn't work. +% +The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from +his rather old and crusty parish. As is usual in these cases, a locum was +sent to cover the transition period. This particular man was young and +active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and +exciting. As a consequence he was more than a little dissapointed with the +dull and tradition-bound church. He decided to do something about it. + For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and +vestments, but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit. The congregation +was horrified! He changed the order of the service. The congregation was +horrified! Then came the children's lesson. + For this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table. +The congregation was mortified! He sat there swinging his legs against +the table as the children gathered around him. + He asked the children, "What's small, brown, furry and eats nuts?" + There was total silence. + He asked again, "What's small, brown, furry and eats nuts?" + Total silence. + Eventually, one timid youngster put up his hand and said, "Please, +sir, I know the answer is Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me." +% +The Unitarians are really just a bunch of atheists who really like going to +church. +% +The Utah version of this joke goes: + One of the Council of the Twelve runs breathlessly into the Presidents' +office one day. The President looks up and says "Brother, what is so important +that you ran all the way here, losing your breath?" + The Council member finally regains his breath, and says "The Savior is +in the lobby!!" + The President immediate starts for the door, crying "It has come! The +prophecies are fullfilled! We are all about to be uplifted!" + The Council member says "Wait! You didn't let me finish! She's... +black, and SHE IS PISSED!" +% +The wages of sin are high -- unless you know someone who does it for nothing. +% +The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence +from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. + -- Havelock Ellis +% +Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand +it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner. + -- Elbert Hubbard +% +There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence +of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally +competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make +some other part of hell comfortably cool. This is obviously impossible. + -- Richard Davisson +% +"There is a God, but He drinks" + -- Blore +% +There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends +his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick. + -- Tom Robbins, "Jitterbug Perfume" +% +There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox. + -- George Francis Gillette +% +This story concerns a man who, after putting his son to bed each night, would +stand by his boy's door and listen to his son saying his prayers. One night, +the boy ended his prayers with, "God specially bless Granddad, who won't be +with us much longer." The man thought this was rather curious, but passed it +off as childish whimsy. The next day, however, he received a call from his +mother, informing him that his father had passed away early that morning. +During the next few weeks, he listened particularly closely to his son's +prayers, but noticed nothing unusual. Then, one night, the boy ended his +prayers with, "God specially bless Grandmom, who won't be with us much longer." +Although the shock of the original incident had worn off during the intervening +weeks, he nontheless phoned his mother to inquire as to her health. He went to +bed reassured, only to be awakened in the night by his sister calling with the +news that their mother had died suddenly in the night. The father had a series +of psychological tests done; nothing unusual was uncovered. About a month +later, the boy ended his prayers with, "God specially bless Daddy, who won't +be with us much longer." The man was panic-stricken, certain that he was +going to die during the night. He resolved to stay awake all night; if awake +and alert he should be able to prevent any tragedy. Morning came. Breathing +a huge sigh of relief, he went to get the paper off the porch. There, lying +dead on the doorstep, was the milkman. +% +To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects +but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own. + -- Lionel Strachey +% +To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs. + -- Sri Aurobindo +% +TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: + + Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care +what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you +may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. + Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else be required +to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the +destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted +or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your +receving said benefit. + I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between +yourself and that which may have an interest in the matter of your receving +as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may +in some way be influenced by this ceremony. + Amen. + -- Roger Zelazny, "Creatures of Light and Darkness" +% +"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." + -- Woody Allen +% +Unitarians pray "To whom it may concern". +% +Vatican upholds ban on contraceptives: "To heir is humane," claims the Pope. +% +We ... make the modern error of dignifying the Individual. We do everything +we can to butter him up. We give him a name, assure him that he has certain +inalienable rights, educate him, let him pass on his name to his brats and +when he dies we give him a special hole in the ground ... But after all, he's +only a seed, a bloom and a withering stalk among pressing billions. Your +Individual is a pretty disgusting, vain, lewd little bastard ... By God, +he has only one right guaranteed him in Nature, and that is the right to die +and stink to Heaven. + -- Ross Lockridge, quoted in "Short Lives" by Katinka Matson +% +We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern +their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of +their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor +Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say +nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among +themselves about their relationship to God. But all will agree on a +proposition that they possess profound spiritual resources. If, in addition, +we can get them to accept the further proposition that whatever form the Deity +may have in their own theology, the Deity is not only external, but internal +and acts through them, and they themselves give proof or disproof of the +Deity in what they do and think; if this further proposition can be accepted, +then we come that much closer to a truly religious situation on earth. + -- Norman Cousins, from his book "Human Options" +% +We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to +the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his +children smart. + -- H. L. Mencken, "Minority Report" +% +"Well, we've come full circle, Lord; I'd like to think there's some +higher meaning to all this. It would certainly reflect well on you." +% +Well, you see there was this neighborhood that had a priest, a minister, and +a rabbi who lived near each other. One summer afternoon the priest went out +and bought himself a new car, and the minister and rabbi, not to be outdone, +did the same. + The next day the priest went out and blessed his car. The minister +hired a crane and baptized his car in a swimming pool. The rabbi, after +thinking seriously for a bit, got a hacksaw and cut three inches off the end +of the tail pipe. +% + "What are you doing?" + "Examining the world's major religions. I'm looking for something +that's light on morals, has lots of holidays, and with a short initiation +period." +% +What good is having someone who can walk on water if you don't follow +in his footsteps? +% +What if there had been room at the inn? + -- Linda Festa on the origins of Christianity +% +What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the +will to power, power itself. What is bad? Everything that is born of +weakness. Not contentedness but more power; not peace but war; not virtue +but fitness. The weak and the failures shall perish: first principle of +our love of man. And they shall even be given every possible assistance. +What is more harmful than any vice? Active pity for all the failures and +all the weak: Christianity. + -- Friedrich Nietzsche +% + "What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't +believe in God." + "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I +don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the +mean and stupid God you make Him out to be." + -- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22" +% +When Cthulhu calls, He calls collect! +% +When somebody protested at [Pope Alexander VI's] wholesale distribution of +pardons for the most heinous crimes -- one of which included the murder of +a daughter by the father -- he retorted easily, "It is not God's will that +a sinner should die, but that he should live -- and pay." + -- E. R. Chamberlin, "The Bad Popes" + +Judas sold Christ for 30 denari, this man [Pope Alexander VI] would sell +him for 29. + -- Ottaviano Ubaldini, chamberlain to Pope Alexander VI +% +Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are. + -- Erik Satie +% +Why I am an atheist: + +1. Atheists do not believe in higher powers. +2. God is the highest power. +3. Therefore, God must be an atheist. +4. We should all strive to be like God. +5. We should all be atheists. +% +Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is +wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that +unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it +not a spectacle to make the angels laugh? We are a company of ignorant +beings, feeling our way through mists and darkness, learning only be +incessantly repeated blunders, obtaining a glimmering of truth by falling +into every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for our daily +needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe the ultimate +origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures to declare that +we don't know the map of the universe as well as the map of our infintesimal +parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that he will be damned to all +eternity for his faithlessness. + -- Leslie Stephen, "An Agnostic's Apology", + Fortnightly Review, 1876 +% +Yeah, God is dead, he laughed himself to death. +% + "You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring, +stands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and +shouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a +diseased uloruaha root)!" + -- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic" +% +Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, +shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!" + -- Johnny Carson +% +Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics. + -- Lady Whiteadder, "Blackadder II" +% +"It don't matter, Sail, ... Could be worse. The fam'ly might be +donatin' the proceeds to the Cath'lic Church, or the Mormons or +somethin'. One cult's the same another." + -- Lula Pace Ripley, "Consuelo's Kiss" +% +"I don't know whether God exists or not, but it makes no difference to me." +"It's not like He's passing out free money or anything." + -- Townsperson in Estard, Dragon Warrior VII +% +"I've recently noticed "as if for the first time" that when people pray +they always look "upward" -- i.e. perpendicular to whatever place they're +standing -- or kneeling or groveling. I deduce that they conceive of their +"god" as topologically isomorphic to a huge donut, about a thousand miles +wider than Earth." + -- Robert Anton Wilson +% |