path: root/fortunes

 I don't care if it rains or freezes
 Long as I have my plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 Through my trials and tribulations
 And my travels through the nations
 With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

 Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 I'm afraid he'll have to go
 His magnets ruin my radio
 And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar

 Riding down a thoroughfare
 With his nose up in the air
 A wreck may be ahead but he don't mind
 Trouble coming He don't see
 He just keeps his eye on me
 And any other thing that lies behind

 Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 Though the sunshine on His back
 Make Him peel, chip and crack
 A little patching keeps Him up to par

 When pedestrians try to cross
 I let them know who's boss
 I never blow the horn or give them warning
 I ride all over town
 trying to run them down
 And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

 Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 His halo fits just right
 And I use it for a sight
 And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

 When I'm in a traffic jam
 He don't care if I say "damn"
 I can let all sorts of curses roll
 Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
 For he has a plastic ear
 The man who invented plastic saved my soul

 Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 Once His robe was snowy white
 Now it isn't quite bright
 Stained by the smoke of my cigar

 If I weave around at night
 And the police think I'm tight
 They'll never find my bottle though they ask
 Plastic Jesus shelters me
 For his head comes off you see
 He's hollow and I use Him for a flask

 Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 Ride with me and have a dram
 Of the blood of the Lamb
 Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.

   ["Plastic Jesus", circa 1969, sign-on
    song of disk jockey Don Imis]
%
I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I've got my plastic jesus
Sitting on the dashboard of my car
Comes in colors pink and pleasant
Glows in the dark cause it's iridescent
Take it with you when you travel far.

Get yourself a sweet madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Going ninety I aint scary
Cause I've got the virgin mary
Telling me that I won't go to hell.
    [Paul Newman, in "Cool Hand Luke"]
%
Frisbeetarianism, n.:

    The belief that when you die, your soul goes up
    on the roof and gets stuck.
%
God is real, unless declared integer.
%
God is love
Love is blind
Ray Charles is blind
Therefore, Ray Charles is God
%
Hindu speaking to a "Born again" christian:
"Of course I am born again. And again and again and again."
%
 A preacher's wife proofread his Sunday sermon and wrote next
 to one paragraph: "Weak point--shout loud".
%
If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?
%
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that
each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
%
"Never join a religion that has a water slide."
%
"...but when you come to Heritage USA, remember to bring your Bible
 and your VISA card - because the Bible is the Holy Truth, and God
 doesn't take American Express."
%
At a recent PTL convention, the hotel reported that over 80% of the
conventionites watched at least one x-rated movie on the hotel's ppv cable...
%
"There are no saints, only unrecognized villains."
%
"For god so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son,
 that whosoever would believe in him would believe in anything."
%
"I don't mind those who are born again, just as long as
 they don't think that they get twice as many rights."
%
         And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?"

They replied,"You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of
our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very
selfhood revealed."

         And Jesus replied, "What?"
%
"The only difference between God and Adolf Hitler
 is that God is more proficient at genocide."
%
 :  #...
 :  #
 :#####:
    #  :
    #  :
 ...#  :
%
"Jesus died to take our wibbles away,
 so now we can go to zonk."
%
Humanity's first sin was faith; the first virtue was doubt.
%
Why be born again, when you can just grow up?
%
What a f iend we have in Jesus!
%
Blasphemy is a blast for me.
%
If you ask the wrong questions you
get answers like '42' or 'God'.
%
Keep Christ out of Christmas
%
Any belief worth having must survive doubt.
%
Traveller: God has been mighty good to your fields, Mr. Farmer.
Farmer: You should have seen how he treated them when I wasn't around.
%
Explaining the unknown by means of the unobservable
is always a perilous business.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
%
Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own.
You may both be wrong.
%
"I think I'll believe in Gosh instead of God.  If you don't
 believe in Gosh too, you'll be darned to heck."
%

   B
   R
 DEATH
   I
   N
   !

%
Jesus -- The other white meat!
%
I love Jesus, Yes I do.  Baked or broiled or in a stew...
%
Bend over for the rod and staff of Jesus!
%
The Pope has just declared that Jesus is now
an infinitly long tube of white paste.
%
Obey Psalms 137:9!
%
Jesus is coming!  Wear your rubbers!
%
The only mortals who ever entered Barad-dur and came back unharmed in body and
soul were a pair of Iluvatar's Witnesses.  Only days after their visit Sauron
realized that the "Minas Tirith" he had bought from them was only a pamphlet.
%
Jesus was adopted.
%
Trinity -- a three for one sale on deities
%
Surgeon General's Warning: Quitting Religion Now
Greatly Increases the Chances of World Peace.
%
Jesus rose from the dead and the apostles
came unto him saying "How's Elvis?"
%
If "he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword" holds true, then
jesus the carpenter met his end properly. After all, he was nailed to a
piece of wood, wasn't he?
%
Losing your faith is a lot like losing your virginity
you don't realise how irritating it was 'til it's gone.
%
Waco, Pensacola, The World Trade Center, Hebron, The Spanish
Inquisition, "Eat my flesh, and drink my blood" . . .

  Don't the Religiously-Correct just wanna' kill ya'?
%
Archeologists near mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to
be a missing page from the Bible and is believed to read 'To my
darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitous
and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental'.
%
They found Noah's ark, but there was a sign on it:
'Made in Hong Kong' "
%
Jesus is real! I saw him at a party last week, he was
playing quarters with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny
%
Religious reasons do not excuse violence: they accuse religion.
%
Evolution is both fact and theory.
Creationism is neither.
%
         Power corrupts;
Absolute power corrupts absolutely;
       God is all-powerful.
    Draw your own conclusions
%
Atheism makes sense for America
%
Theists think all gods but theirs are false.
Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.
%
I went to church to confess my sins to God
And then I realized there was no God and I had no sins.
%
Jesus Christ: Imaginary Playmate to Millions of Adults!
%
It seems odd that those who scoff at sun worshippers
are apt to worship a vacuum.
%
Organized religion is responsible for the brainwashing of millions of
young children too young to know the difference between reality and the
fantasies of millions.
                      Save Yourself. Drop Christianity.
%
FAITH -
  An attitude fostered by individuals in high places in
  order to ensure the subservience of those in their charge.
%
A zealot's stones will break my bones, but gods will never hurt me.
%
Nine out of ten priests who have tried Camels, prefer young boys.
%
Autumn wind:        Where there are humans
gods, Buddha--      you'll find flies,
lies, lies, lies    and Buddhas.
         --Shiki                  --Issa
%
nullifidian n. & a.  (Person) having no religious faith or belief,
f. med. L nullifidius fr L nullus  none + fides  faith; see IAN
%
freethinker n.  A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of
reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief.
%
On the sixth day God created man
On the seventh day, man returned the favor.
%
A society without religion is like a crazed psychopath without a loaded .45
%
Fundamentalism means never having to say "I'm wrong."
%
Christianity: The understanding that "God" is the name we give to the
answer (which we do not know) to the question, "Why is there anything at
all?" - and that Christ is the self-expression of God; the view that -
against the appearances - we are loved in the universe.
%
"Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich"
%
"Try new Post Jesus (tm) breakfast cereal!  Chock full of bland,
tasteless little bread wafers made from 100% Jesus for that
full-body of Christ taste.  Goes great with a little red wine."
%
Wouldn't it be funny if Elvis came back instead of Jesus?
%
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day;
Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
%
May theists be shaved with Ockham's Razor!
%
Two hands working do more than a thousand clasped in prayer
%
Why does the Vatican have lightning rods?
%
Some have for fundies then evangelists passed
Turned preachers next and proved plain fools at last.
%
             ___/|__   _
             \      \_/ /        Have you forgotten about Jesus?
   <JESUS><   >LOGIC _ <         Isn't it about time you did?
             /_____/  \_\
%
If Jesus loves me, why doesn't he ever send me flowers?
%
 It's your god.
 They're your rules.
 *You* go to hell.
%
I once believed in god. I got better.
%
Faith - the ability to believe the ridiculous for the sublime.
%
The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."
The Wise Man Says it to the World.
%
Christ died for my sins, descended into Hell, and rose again
   On the third day, in accordance with the Scriptures...
         And all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
%
If a member of McDonalds' staff was God:
"OK, one Universe.  Uh, you want fries with that?"
%
Bumper sticker seen:
   Geez if you believe in Honkus.
%
 **********************************************************
 * WARNING:  To prevent the risk of insanity, do not      *
 * open the bible's cover. No user understandable         *
 * material inside. Please refer counseling to            *
 * qualified mental health personnel.                     *
 **********************************************************
%
Garbage In -- Gospel Out
%
A clash of doctrine is not a disaster - it is an opportunity.
%
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
%
Vique's Law:
  A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
%
Man created God in his own image.
%
God did not create the world in 7 days.
He screwed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter.
%
Jesus loves the Ku Klux Klanners,
Jesus loves the KKK,
Pointy hats and flowing robes,
Burning crosses, homophobes!
Jesus loves the Klanners of the world!
%
Moses: the self-proclaimed meekest of all men even though he allegedly
spoke face to face with God and gave us the so-called Ten Commandments
(though they aren't really ten in number); the man who wrote (or
edited) the account of his own death and burial; the man who --
according to himself -- was God's spokesperson in the same way that
Mohammed, Joseph Smith, Mary Baker Eddy, -- and a parcel of others --
claim to speak for God.
%
In Ottawa the xians put up an "abortion stills a beating heart"
poster outside the local abortion clinic.  Someone wrote over it:
"A christian with a gun stills a beating heart."
%
"Faith is deciding to allow yourself to believe
 something your intellect would otherwise cause
 you to reject -- otherwise there's no need for faith."
%
A slippery day in the Bible:
When Balam went through
Jerusalem on his ass.
%
Theology: The study of elaborate verbal disguises for non-ideas.
%
God: The Immutable Chameleon; whenever the need is felt by one of his
     followers, He obligingly recreates himself to suit the occasion.
%
The mind of the fundamentalist is like the pupil of the eye:
the more light you pour on it, the more it will contract.
%
Q: Jesus was renowned for his ability to heal.  What was the
   one affliction that proved to malignant for his cure?
A: Christianity
%
Jesus loves you all, and can't wait to
control you like a small household pet
%
Religion is the work of the Devil
%
Never make a god of your religion
%
You Go Yahweh - and I'll go Mine!
%
God hated the world so much that he sent his only
son so that whoever does not believe in him will
perish and be denied eternal life.
%
Christianity is not a religion; it's an industry.
%
=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Goofy and Mickey are going to burn in eternal
Hellfire for sharing an insurance policy!. Details
this Sunday at you local Southern Baptist Church.
Witch burning and pot luck supper to follow the services.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
%
"Belief in heaven is very difficult without
 a greedy desire for it: All scams need a hook."
%
"Humanity sees its reflection in the mirrors that surround it,
 and thus gratified, calls this image perfect, good, merciful,
 omniscient, omnipresent, holy, just, and above all, love.  So
 enchanted are these hairless apes with this, that they invent
 a special word for it: 'God'."
%
I have to go take a christian. I need to find some apostle to wipe
my god with, first. I hope I don't get any jesus on my fingers.
%
All jesus could do was turn water into wine.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers - could JC do that?
%
 _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____
|_____|_____|_____|  Let Us Keep a _|_____|_____|_____|
|__|_____|_____|__ Wall of Separation _|_____|_____|__|
|_____|_____|_____|____ Between ____|_____|_____|_____|
|__|_____|_____|___ Church and State __|_____|_____|__|
|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|
|__|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|__|
%
The scientist yearns to find and eventually know the truth;
The religious man wants the truth to fit his preconceived mold.
So, as a result...
The scientist alters his perception to conform to the facts;
The religious man tries to change the facts to conform to his beliefs.
%
INRI:  Idiots Need Reassuring Ideologies
%
Religions are what dreams are made of.
%
All Gods were immortal.
%
For many, faith is a suitable substitute for
knowledge, as death is for a difficult life.
%
In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the
instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible
one. In that case we believe the former as part of the latter.
%
Christian humility is preached by the clergy,
but practiced only by the lower classes.
%
The Christian lives in a nightmare and thinks it is a pleasant dream.
%
Whatever we cannot easily understand we call God:
this saves much wear and tear on the brain tissues.
%
Reason is, of all things in the world, the most hurtful to a reasoning
human being.  God only allows it to remain with those he intends to
damn, and his goodness takes it away from those he intends to save or
render useful in the Church . . . If reason had any part in religion,
what then would become of faith?
%
To the philosophic eye, the vices of the clergy
are far less dangerous than their virtues.
%
The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.
%
It's a happy bishop who hasn't got a saint in his diocese.
%
It is no accident that the symbol of a bishop is a crook,
and the sign of an archbishop is a double-cross.
%
Consider the ignorance of the average fundamentalist. Then realize that
by definition fully half of them must be even dumber than that.
%

SUNDAY SERMON

A technician, wrapped in a stiff, white smock,
 takes an albino rat from the big crate
 delivered just that morning, puts it in
 the God Model Box, leaves and locks the room.
The box, with random corners and angles,
 is monitored by a ceiling mounted
 video camera.
A switch mounted in one corner is well
 protected by spring wire traps, barriers
 and rat repellent.
The switch delivers an electric shock
 when touched by the rat.
The experiment lasts 24 hours
 or so, depending on the whim and will
 of the technician.
If during that time, the rat sits on the
 switch for thirty or forty seconds,
 the technician will set it free in the
 field behind the fence.
Otherwise, he will restrain the rat in
 a vice and slowly pull off its tail and
 its legs, one by one, then skin it and leave
 it to die
 slowly.

Little is learned in this experiment
 either by the rat or the technician
 who is not at all surprised that none of
 rats ever perform the required task.
But the technician does get to skin a
 lot of rats, and he likes to hear them squeal.

%
JESUS IS COMING!
Are you going to spit or swallow?
%
"We preach peace, forgiveness, tolerance and love. We practice vengeance,
 persecution, hatred and domination. My personal beliefs are supported and
 validated by my convictions.
 Oh, and never forget .... my religion is truth, yours is a lie."
                 [Religion, paraphrased (unknown)]
%
JWs: "If we were to tell you that there is an army of angels waiting
     in Heaven, and on the Day of Judgement they will be unleashed upon
     the world to slay all the unbelievers, what would your response be?"
Response: "Pre-emptive nuclear strike."
%
The Religious Right aren't, and Scientific Creationism isn't.
%
There is no God but our God
The humble Christians say.
There is no God but our God.
To Him alone we pray.

What of the others by the score,
Gods just as great and mighty.
Of Allah, Odin, Jove and Thor,
Venus and Aphrodite.

If to the one alone we pray,
And He is just a faker (fakir?),
There surely will be Hell to pay
When we meet our maker.

So, good Christians take my advice.
Don't be so egotistic.
And on occasion in your prayers
Address some other mystic.

Remember there have been a score,
A hundred, thousands, maybe more.
To say there is but one God
Might make the others sore.

Good Christians believe in one God.
Myself, I must confess,
Am not so very different.
I believe in just one less.
%
"If the Bible proves that God exists then
 comic books prove the existence of Superman."
      [Seen on the #Atheism IRC]
%
A Humanist or an Athiest can't tell you to
go to hell but a Christian can and will.
%
Out of convicted rapists, 57% admitted to reading
pornography.  95% admitted to reading the Bible.
%
You'll never find a dead Christian
in a foxhole who didn't pray.
%
The Holy Father is neither
%
If the baby goes to heaven
And the doctor goes to hell
If the woman gets forgiveness
What's the problem pray tell!?
%
Read the Buy-Bull
%
Although it is said that faith can move mountains,
experience has shown that dynamite works better.
%
><DARWIN>
   L  L
%
Religion is to rationality as bullshit is to horsepower.
%
The greater your ignorance, the more evidence
you have for the existence of God!
%
    __________
   /  _______ \
  / \ \ _    \ \
 | / \ \ |   | |
 | | _\ \|__ | |
 | ||__\ \__|| |
 | |   |\ \  | |
 | |   | \ \ | |
 | |   | |\ \| |
 | |   |_| \ \ |
  \ \_______\  /
   \__________/

%
"Mysticism is a disease of the mind."
%
"As long as Baptists can stagger to the polls, there
 will never be liquor by the drink in this town."
%
"If God had wanted us to make sense,
  He would have existed."
%
Several thousand years ago, a small tribe of ignorant near-savages wrote
various collections of myths, wild tales, lies, and gibberish. Over the
centuries, these stories were embroidered, garbled, mutilated, and torn
into small pieces that were then repeatedly shuffled. Finally, this material
was badly translated into several languages successively. The resultant text,
creationists feel, is the best guide to this complex and technical subject.
%
  The last time we mixed
  religion and government
people were burned at the stake.
  -- bumper sticker
%
Find God?  Why, is God missing?
%
Freedom is the Distance Between Church and State
%
To Hell With the Baptists, I'm Going to Disney Land
%
Focus on Your Own Damn Family
%
Wise Men Still Seek Him...Apparently, He's lost.
%
Jesus Loves Me, Yes I Know /
For the Voices Tell Me So.
%
When The Religious Right Takes Over, We'll All Live In Iran
%
Welcome to Burger God: Have it YAHWEH!
%
Want to know what happens after death?
Go look at some dead things.
%
Public prayer...Don't Stand for it!
%
A mystic is someone who wants to understand
the universe, but is too lazy to study physics
%
I am a demo religious meme which has been replicated here.
You will be blessed if you copy me and pass me on to infect
the next mind. And damned if you don't.
%
Jesus - Myth or Legend?
%
Re: God...
1) The emperor has no clothes.
2) There is no emperor.
%
Christians believe that the most wonderful thing that can happen to them
is to go to Heaven, but few of them are in a hurry to make the trip.
%
Religion is a major weapon in the war against reality.
%
Help preserve your child's belief in Santa Claus. Tell him or her
that Santa will send them to hell if they don't believe in him.
%
There are none more ignorant and useless,
than they that seek answers on their knees,
with their eyes closed.
%
God inspires men to preach what sounds like bullshit.
Men who preach the bullshit admit it sounds like bullshit.
God punishes those who hear the bullshit and characterize it as
bullshit.  If God has a problem with that, it's His own damn fault.
%
"If, as they say, God spanked this town
 For being much too frisky,
 Why did He burn His churches down
 And save Hotaling's Whiskey?"
   [Poem on 1906 San Francisco earthquake and fire, in which
    the city's largest whiskey distillery was left unscathed]
%
"If god doesn't like the way I live,
 Let him tell me, not you."
     [As seen on a button]
%
Person 1: Solomon had many horses, he had many wives; he did
            exactly the opposite of what the bible says...
Person 2: He was the wisest of men..."
             [transcript of actual talk show]
%
God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on
where to go.
  "Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter.
  "No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God.
  "Well, how about Mercury?"
  "No, it's too hot there."
  "Okay," said St. Peter, "What about Earth?"
  "No," said God, "They're such horrible gossips.  When I was
there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're
still talking about it."
%
Christianity: Safer than a lobotomy, but just as effective.
%
Once purged of the insanity, plagiarisms, illegalities,
contradictions, and the perverse, the Bible could be
printed on match book covers while increasing it's usefulness.
%
A metaphysician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat
that isn't there, and a theologian is one who finds the cat.
%
The Christians have fathers who aren't fathers, mothers who aren't mothers,
brothers who aren't brothers, and sisters who aren't sisters, they swear
off sex, and then try to explain "family values" to the rest of us.
%
Atheism and truth, 2 words 1 meaning.
%
Cogito, ergo non credo.
%
Exploring the universe through meditation is like
studying human relationships through masturbation.
%
A god's primary function is to confirm for us deeply held beliefs that
we can't let go of, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. When
you are totally and absolutely convinced of something fundamentally
unreasonable, it helps to believe you have divine guidance.
%
At one point in time, many of us actually had Jesus as
our personal lord and saviour.  Unfortunately, we later
had to dismiss him for incompetence, gross negligence,
misconduct and consistent failure to show up for work.
%
The Fundamentalist
== Knows no greater joy than the sound of his own voice.
== Knows no greater terror than the god he creates in his own image.
== Knows no greater evil than an unfettered mind.
== Knows no greater blasphemy than being told "NO."
%
religion is a socio-political institution for the control
of people's thoughts, lives, and actions; based on
ancient myths and superstitions perpetrated through
generations of subtle yet pervasive brainwashing."
%
"Probably get his dumb ass nailed to a cross..."
      [Response to WWJD (What Would
       Jesus Do) paraphernalia]
%
"When the philosopher's argument becomes tedious, complicated,
 and opaque, it is usually a sign that he is attempting to prove
 as true to the intellect what is plainly false to common sense."
     [Edward Abbey (from Voice Crying in the Wilderness)]
%
"The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages--
 as if the savages weren't dangerous enough already."
                 [Edward Abbey]
%
"Fantastic doctrines (like Christianity or Islam or Marxism) require
 unanimity of belief. One dissenter casts doubt on the creed of millions.
 Thus the fear and hate; thus the torture chamber, the iron stake, the
 gallows, the labor camp, the psychiatric ward."
                       [Edward Abbey]
%
"Belief in the supernatural reflects a failure of the imagination."
                     [Edward Abbey]
%
"We repeat and again reaffirm that neither a State nor the Federal Government
 can constitutionally force a person 'to profess a belief or disbelief in any
 religion.'  Neither can constitutionally pass laws or impose requirements
 which aid all religions as against non-believers, and neither can aid those
 religions based on a belief in the existence of God as against those
 religions founded on different beliefs."
   [School District of Abington TP. PA. v. Schempp/Murray v. Curlett, 1963]
%
"The world holds two classes of men -- intelligent men
 without religion, and religious men without intelligence."
    [Abu'l-Ala-Al-Ma'arri (973-1057; Syrian poet)]
%
"Who made who?"
   [AC/DC]
%
"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
 That unalterable rule applies both to God and man."
   [John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton (Lord Acton) in
    a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton, April 5,1887]
%
"Thought is one of the manifestations of human energy, and among
 the earlier and simpler phases of thought, two stand conspicuous
 -- Fear and Greed.  Fear, which, by stimulating the imagination,
 creates a belief in an invisible world, and ultimately develops a
 priesthood; and Greed, which dissipates energy in war and trade."
   [Brooks Adams (1848-1927), The Law of Civilization and Decay]
%
"The power of the priesthood lies in the submission to a creed.
 In their onslaughts on rebellion they have exhausted human torments;
 nor, in their lust for earthly dominion, have they felt remorse,
 but rather joy, when slaying Christ's enemies and their own."
     [Brooks Adams, The Emancipation of Massachusetts]
%
"If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease!"
                [Clark Adams]
%
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having
 to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"
                    [Douglas Adams]
%
"I refuse to prove that I exist" says God, "for proof denies
    faith, and without faith, I am nothing."
"Oh," says man, "but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't
    it?  It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't.  Q.E.D."
"Oh, I hadn't thought of that." says God, who promptly vanishes
    in a puff of logic.
  [Douglas Adams, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"]
%
"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do
 irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs.
 This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion."
         [Scott Adams, "The Dilbert Principle"]
%
"Eat a big plate of jambalya, head off to the can, and meditate
 on this, "defecating is more productive than praying."
                     [Todd Adamson]
%
"Walking on water is easy.  It is what we do for a
 living.  You just have to know where the rocks are.
 Step from rock to rock, and those on the shore will
 think you are performing a miracle."
      [advice from professional prophets]
%
"A spokesman for the Lyon Group, producers of _Barney and
 Friends_, denied that Barney is an instrument of Satan."
          [the Advocate, spring 1994]
%
"The truth which makes men free is for the most
 part the truth which men prefer not to hear."
  [Herbert Agar, "A Time for Greatness" 1942]
%
"When you see a cross sticking in the ground, that usually means that
 someone is buried there, or someone got killed there.  Perhaps, by
 wearing that cross around their neck, what they're saying is that
 they're dead from the neck up?  That would explain a *lot* of things."
                   [Wayne Aiken, on AACHAT]
%
"Faith in God and seventy-five cents will get you a cup of coffee."
                     [Wayne Aiken]
%
"The so-called religious right of the Republican Party- the Christian
 right, they call themselves, although in my view they are neither
 Christian nor right- is after a totalitarian state."
     [Edward Albee, interview in Progressive August 1996 issue]
%
"Had I been present at the creation of the world,
 I would have proposed some improvements."
      [Alfonso X (Alfonso the Wise;
       1226-1284; King of Castile)]
%
"Sensible men no longer belive in miracles; they
 were invented by priests to humbug the peasants."
            [King Alfonso]
%
"Goodnight, thank you, and may your god go with you"
       [Dave Allen, Irish Comedian,
        at the end of all of his shows]
%
"Most of us spend the first 6 days of each week sowing wild oats,
 then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."
                       [Fred Allen]
%
"Religions change; beer and wine remain"
          [Harvey Allen]
%
"...And no philosophy, sadly, has all the answers.  No matter how assured
 we may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful
 inconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions.  This is true in religion as
 it is in politics, and is self-evident to all except fanatics and the naive.
 As for the fanatics, whose number is legion in our own time, we might be
 advised to leave them to heaven.  They will not, unfortunately, do us the
 same courtesy.  They attack us and each other, and whatever their
 protestations to peaceful intent, the bloody record of history makes clear
 that they are easily disposed to restore to the sword.  My own belief in
 God, then, is just that -- a matter of belief, not knowledge.  My respect
 for Jesus Christ arises from the fact that He seems to have been the
 most virtuous inhabitant of Planet Earth.  But even well-educated Christians
 are frustated in their thirst for certainty about the beloved figure
 of Jesus because of the undeniable ambiguity of the scriptural record.
 Such ambiguity is not apparent to children or fanatics, but every
 recognized Bible scholar is perfectly aware of it.  Some Christians, alas,
 resort to formal lying to obscure such reality."
                        [Steve Allen]
%
"As I argued in "Beloved Son", a book about my son Brian and the subject
 of religious communes and cults, one result of proper early instruction
 in the methods of rational thought will be to make sudden mindless
 conversions -- to anything -- less likely.  Brian now realizes this and
 has, after eleven years, left the sect he was associated with.  The
 problem is that once the untrained mind has made a formal commitment to
 a religious philosophy -- and it does not matter whether that philosophy
 is generally reasonable and high-minded or utterly bizarre and
 irrational -- the powers of reason are suprisingly ineffective in
 changing the believer's mind."
                           [Steve Allen]
%
"One social evil for which the New Testament is
 clearly in part responsible is anti-Semitism."
     [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on
      the Bible Religion & Morality"]
%
"There is not the slightest question but that the God of the Old
 Testament is a jealous, vengeful God, inflicting not only on the
 sinful pagans but even on his Chosen People fire, lighting,
 hideous plagues and diseases, brimstone, and other curses."
           [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on
            the Bible Religion & Morality"]
%
"There are hundreds of millions who believe the Messiah has come.
 If he did, then it is unfortunately the case that his heroic
 sacrifice and death have had no effect whatsoever on the very
 problem his coming might have been expected to address, for
 history demonstrates, beyond question, that we Christians have
 been just as dangerous, singly and en masse, as non-Christians."
            [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on
             the Bible Religion & Morality"]
%
"The Bible has been interpreted to justify such evil practices as, for
 example, slavery, the slaughter of prisoners of war, the sadistic murders
 of women believed to be witches, capital punishment for hundreds of
 offenses, polygamy, and cruelty to animals. It has been used to encourage
 belief in the grossest superstition and to discourage the free teaching
 of scientific truths.  We must never forget that both good and evil flow
 from the Bible. It is therefore not above criticism."
               [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on
                the Bible Religion & Morality"]
%
"Ideas have consequences, and totally erroneous
 ideas are likely to have destructive consequences."
      [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen,
       on the Bible Religion & Morality"]
%
"God is by definition the holder of all possible knowledge, it
 would be impossible for him to have faith in anything. Faith,
 then, is built upon ignorance and hope."
          [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen,
           on the Bible Religion & Morality"]
%
"No actual tyrant known to history has ever been guilty of
 one-hundredth of the crimes, massacres, and other atrocities
 attributed to the Deity in the Bible."
          [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen,
           on the Bible Religion & Morality"]
%
"If...we assume that there is no God, it follows that morality is even
 more important than if there is a Deity. If God exists, his unlimited
 power can certainly redress imbalances in the scale of human justice.
 But if there is no God, then it is up to man to be as moral as he can."
                      [Steve Allen]
%
"It is not hardness of heart or evil passions that drive certain
 individuals to atheism, but rather a scrupulous intellectual honesty."
        [Steve Allen, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief,
         Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by
         James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall.
 If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do.
 The same happens in the absence of prayers."
     [Steve Allen, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief,
      Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by
      James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"To those who wish to punish others--or at least to see them punished, if
 the avengers are too cowardly to take matters in to their own hands-- the
 belief in a fiery, hideous hell appears to be a great source of comfort."
            [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen, on
             the Bible Religion & Morality"]
%
"An all-powerful being would have the power to punish a sinner, by any means
 he might choose to employ.  However, the Scriptures not only attribute to
 God a horrible vengefulness but also suggest that God is incredibly stupid.
 It would be stupid if an individual, intent on punishing a sinner or group
 of them, expended his destructive energy not only on those who it might be
 said deserved such punishment but also on enormous numbers of innocent people
 who simply had the bad luck to be in the physical proximity of evildoers.
 To argue that God works in this way is to put him precisely on the same moral
 plane as those modern terrorists who, to kill a particular individual or
 small group, will place a bomb on an airplane in the full knowledge that in
 addition to the five or six intended victims all the other occupants, in whom
 the terrorists have no particular interest, will be killed."
                [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen on
                 the Bible Religion, & Morality"]
%
"Believing that the Bible is the divinely inspired word of God, certain human
 beings are prepared to suspend not only reason but even common sense about
 any and all passages found within, no matter how vile or bloodthirsty."
                [Steve Allen, "More Steve Allen on
                 the Bible Religion, & Morality"]
%
"Another philosopher suggests that saying prayers is equivalent
 to believing that the universe is governed by a Being who changes
 his mind if you ask him to."
           [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen On the
            Bible, Religion and Morality," 1990]
%
"In every single instance where churchmen placed themselves squarely
 athwart the path of science, as regards a particular knotty question,
 the religious forces were eventually defeated for the very sound
 reason that they were wrong."
           [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen On the
            Bible, Religion and Morality," 1990]
%
"In less than an hour, the Parliament of Toulouse, France publicly burned
 400 unfortunate women, having convicted them of crimes that existed only in
 the deluded minds of their sentences. Five hundred women were burned at the
 stake in the city of Geneva in one month, and approximately a thousand were
 murdered in the Italian province of Como. A French judge, over the course of
 16 years, could boast that he had sentenced some 800 women to the stake.
 This entire vast atrocity was said to be "justified" by the Bible. In
 reality, it is the Bible that is blackened by such crimes."
              [Steve Allen, "Steve Allen On the
               Bible, Religion and Morality," 1990]
%
"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."
                  [Woody Allen]
%
"As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably
 because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on."
                [Woody Allen]
%
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my
 tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"
                  [Woody Allen]
%
"I do not believe in an afterlife, although
 I am bringing a change of underwear."
             [Woody Allen]
%
"We face the nineties with a Court that relegates First Amendment
 rights to the level of any law, a Justice Department quite willing
 to establish first- and second-class citizenship determined by
 religious belief....a Christian arrogance and exclusivism reminiscent
 of earlier centures of religious persecution."
          [Robert S. Alley, "Christian Exclusivism and
           Second-Class Citizenship", in Free Inquiry]
%
"If we encounter in a personality fear of divine punishment as the sole
 sanction for right doing, we can be sure we are dealing with a childish
 conscience, with a case of arrested development."
                 [Gordon W. Allport, "Becoming"]
%
"Imagine encouraging [a child] to participate in such 'twisted' rituals
 and worshiping of tortuous crucifixes and such like this from birth.
 No wonder we have so many hateful and sadistic people in our society."
           [Brent Allsop 10-27-95 (news:alt.atheism)]
%
"Immaculate deceptions going on every day, still you
 follow the clowns who give the circus away"
            [The Almighty]
%
"Is God something that exists 'out there," beyond, and independent of us?
 Or is God merely the product of an inherited human perception, the
 manifestation of an evolutionary adaptation, a coping mechanism that
 emerged in our species in order to enable us to survive our unique and
 otherwise debilitating awareness of death?"
         [Matthew Alper, "The God Part of the Brain", Rogue
          Press, Brooklyn NY, 1999, on the back cover]
%
"Adam was deceived by Eve, not Eve by Adam.....it is right
 that he whom that woman induced to sin should assume the
 role of guide lest he fall again through feminine instability."
     [St. Ambrose, Bishop of Milan, letter 63, 396]
%
"More than half the world is hungry and the environment of the world is
 deteriorating rapidly because of over-population. Any action which impedes
 efforts to halt the world population perpetuates the misery in which millions
 now live and promotes death by starvation of millions this year and many more
 millions in the next few decades.
    It has been stated by Roman Catholics that the Pope is not evil, but
 simply unenlightened, and we must agree. But, whatever the motives, the evil
 consequences of his encyclical are manifest...
    (conclusion) The world must quickly come to realize that Pope Paul VI has
 sanctioned the deaths of countless numbers of human beings with his misguided
 and immoral encyclical. The fact that this incredible document was put forth
 in the name of a religious figure whose teachings embodies the highest respect
 for the value of human dignity and life should serve to make the situation
 even more repugnant to mankind."
            [American Association for the Advancement of Science,
             Signed by about 2000 Scientists, Dallas, 1968,
             on Pope Paul VI's "Humanae Vitae" encyclical]
%
"Prayer won't cure AIDS. Research will."
  [Public service advertisement of the American
   Foundation for AIDS Research, dropped because
   of complaints by religionists, from
   Freethought Today, March 1997]
%
"In order to see Christianity, one
 must forget almost all Christians."
        [Henri F. Amiel]
%
"A belief is not true because it is useful."
       [Henri Frederic Amiel]
%
"I acted alone on God's orders."
    [Yigal Amir, assassin of
     Yitzak Rabin, Israeli PM]
%
"Father says bow your head,
     Like the Good Book says.
 I think the Good Book is
     missing some pages..."
      [Tori Amos]
%
"This whole Christian theology thing is that god came down to experience
 life through his son.  Well, how's he experiencing life if he doesn't get
 laid?  Give me a break.  And why would he not get laid, as he created the
 apparatus in the first place?"
     [Tori Amos, interview in _Vox_, May, 1994, by Steve Maline]
%
"I got enough guilt to start my own religion"
             [Tori Amos]
%
"I always thought I'd make a good girlfriend for Jesus"
                  [Tori Amos]
%
"I used to get really pissed off that my life was so dictated by when this
 Jesus guy was born and when he was dying every year. I felt really resentful
 that I couldn't get on with my own life because I was so busy with his."
                           [Tori Amos]
%
"God sometimes you just don't come through
 God sometimes you just don't come through
 Do you need a woman to look after you?
 God sometimes you just don't come through

 You make pretty daisies pretty daisies love
 I gotta find what you're doing about things here
 A few witches burning
 Get a little toasty here
 Gotta find why you always go when the wind blows
 Tell me you're crazy maybe then I'll understand
 You got your 9 iron in the back seat just in case
 Heard you've gone south
 Well babe you love your new 4 wheel
 I gotta find why you always go when the wind blows

 Will you even tell her if you decide to make the sky fall
 Will you even tell her if you decide to make the sky"

  [Tori Amos, "God" from the "Under the Pink" album]
%
"that kind of god is always man-made
 they made him up then wrote a book
   to keep you on your knees"
   [Skunk Anansie, "Selling Jesus"]
%
"Everything has a natural explanation.  The moon is
 not a god but a great rock and the sun a hot rock."
         [Anaxagorus, ca. 475 BC]
%
"No, no, no -- you don't argue with concepts.  You have to claim
 Dogma, and therefore leave no room for rational thought."
            [Kevin J. Anderson, _Flashback_]
%
"Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.
 Religion is answers that may never be questioned."
                  [Anemones]
%
"People whose history and future were threatened each day by extinction
 considered that it was only by divine intervention that they were able
 to live at all.  I find it interesting that the meanest life, the poorest
 existence, is attributed to God's will, but as human being become more
 affluent, as their living standard and style begin to ascend the material
 scale, God descends the scale of respectability at a commensurate speed."
       [Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", p. 101]
%
"Every man thinks God is on his side.  The rich and powerful know he is."
       [Jean Anouilh (1910-87) French dramatist, playwright]
%
"Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent and
 the serpent didn't have a leg to stand on."
            [Anonymous]
%
"There are ten church members by inheritance for every one by conviction."
                           [Anonymous]
%
"A good rule for interpretation is: 'If the literal sense makes good
 sense, seek no other sense lest you come up with nonsense'"
                     [Anonymous]
%
"Since the Bible and the church are obviously mistaken in telling us
 where we came from, how can we trust them to tell us where we are going?"
                           [Anonymous]
%
"Unfalsifiable propositions are not amenable to any method at all.
 If they were, then religions would be able to find a way to resolve
 internal conflicts over differing versions of their unfalsifiables
 without resorting to schism, excommunication, torture, or jihad.
 In science, however, there are no permanent schisms, because there
 is a recognized final court of appeal, namely the universe itself."
                      [Anonymous]
%
"I believe that there is no God, but that matter is God and God is
 matter; and that it is no matter whether there is any God or no."
             [Anon., "The Unbeliever's Creed," 1754]
%
"A cardinal doctrine in the Christian faith is total depravity."
         [Letter to the editor, Antelope Valley
          Press, Lancaster CA, June 20, 1998]
%
"I distrust those people who know so well what
 God wants them to do because I notice it always
 coincides with their own desires."
          [Susan B. Anthony]
%
"To no form of religion is woman
 indebted for one impulse of freedom..."
       [Susan B. Anthony]
%
"I was born a heretic. I always distrust people who know
 so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows."
                 [Susan B. Anthony]
%
"Stating the 'The Constitution guarantess that government may not coerce
 anyone to support or participate in religious exercises,' the court held
 the First Amendment is violated by including clerical members who offer
 prayer as part of an official school graduation ceremony, even though
 attendance was supposedly voluntary.  The court concluding that attendance
 was in a real sense obligatory with the students indiced to conform."
  [Lee v. Weisman (1992, U S) 120 L Ed 2d 467, 112 S Ct 2649, from
   the 1996 pocket part for the book "Modern Constitutional Law,
   Vol. I: The Individual And The Government", by Chester J. Antieau]
%
"...our constitutional tradition, from the Declaration of Independence and
 the first inaugural address of Washington... down to the present day, has,
 with a few aberrations, see Church of Holy Trinity v. United States,
 143 U.S. 457, 12 S.Ct. 511, 36 L.Ed. 226 (1892), ruled out of order
 government-sponsored endorsement of religion--even when no legal coercion
 is present, and indeed even when no ersatz, "peer-pressure" psycho-coercion
 is present--where the endorsement is sectarian, in the sense of specifying
 details upon which men and women who believe in a benevolent, omnipotent
 Creator and Ruler of the world are known to differ (for example, the
 divinity of Christ)."
           [Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia,
            _Lee v. Weisman_, 505 U.S. 577, 641 (1992)]
%
"We are asked to recognize the existence of a practice of nonsectarian prayer,
 prayer within the embrace of what is known as the Judeo-Christian tradition,
 prayer which is more acceptable than one which, for example, makes explicit
 references to the God of Israel, or to Jesus Christ, or to a patron saint.
 There may be some support, as an empirical observation, to the statement of
 the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit, picked up by Judge Campbell's
 dissent in the Court of Appeals in this case, that there has emerged in this
 country a civic religion, one which is tolerated when sectarian exercises are
 not. Stein, 822 F.2d at 1409; 908 F.2d 1090, 1098-1099 (CA1 1990)
 (Campbell, J., dissenting) (case below); see also Note, Civil Religion and
 the Establishment Clause, 95 Yale L.J. 1237 (1986). If common ground can be
 defined which permits once conflicting faiths to express the shared conviction
 that there is an ethic and a morality which transcend human invention, the
 sense of community and purpose sought by all decent societies might be
 advanced. But though the First Amendment does not allow the government to
 stifle prayers which aspire to these ends, neither does it permit the
 government to undertake that task for itself."
         [Supreme Court, Lee v. Weisman, 505 U.S. 577 (1992)]
%
"The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority
 is Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of
 the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven
 days."  Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from
 the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does from the
 Sun, or 50 times in all.  The light we receive from the Moon is one
 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that ...
 The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat
 lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i.e.,
 Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation.  Using the
 Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E) temperature of the earth (-300K),
 gives H as 798K (525C).  The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed...
 (However) Revelations 21:8 says "But the fearful, and unbelieving ... shall
 have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone."  A lake
 of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the
 boiling point, 444.6C. We have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than
 Hell at 445C."
            [From "Applied Optics" vol. 11, A14, 1972]
%
"For it is a much more serious matter to corrupt faith, through which comes the
 soul's life, than to forge money, through which temporal life is supported.
 Hence if forgers of money or other malefactors are straightway justly put to
 death by secular princes, with much more justice can heretics, immediately
 upon conviction, be not only excommunicated but also put to death."
            [Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274), Summa Theologica]
%
"As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten,
 for the active power of the male seed tends to the production of a
 perfect likeness in the masculine sex; while the production of a woman
 comes from defect in the active power...."
   [Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica,Q92, art. 1, Reply Obj. 1]
%
"I suggest that the anthropomorphic god-idea is not a harmless infirmity
 of human thought, but a very noxious fallacy, which is largely responsible
 for the calamities the world is at present enduring"
             [William Archer (1856-1924), _Theology and War_]
%
"To me it seems that mankind can never achieve its highest potentialities
 till it has thrown off the incubus of historic (and prehistoric) religion..."
        [William Archer (1856-1924), "Is the Battle,Won?"]
%
"'Theocracy' has always been the synonym for a bleak and
 narrow, if not a fierce and blood-stained tyranny."
         [William Archer (1667-1735)]
%
"If you were taught that elves caused rain, every
 time it rained, you'd see the proof of elves."
                 [Ariex]
%
"A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion.
 Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom
 they consider godfearing and pious.  On the other hand, they do less
 easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side."
              [Aristotle (384-322 BCE), "Politics"]
%
"Men create gods after their own image, not only with regard
 to their form but with regard to their mode of life."
     [Aristotle, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief,
      Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by
      James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"(R)eligious teaching has had effects the precise opposite
 of those commonly held to be its prerogative - the advocacy
 of truth and high conduct."
  [Dr. Henry Edward Armstrong, "The Outlook for Reason"]
%
"In a pluralistic society, no group, no matter how numerous or powerful,
 has a right to prescribe a set of beliefs or a code of ethics for all."
     [Bishop James Armstrong, United Methodist Church, Address,
      Phoenix, Arizona February 4, 1975, from Menendez and Doerr,
      The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom]
%
"Nothing is more humbling than to look with a strong magnifying glass at an
 insect so tiny that the naked eye sees only the barest speck and to discover
 that nevertheless it is sculpted and articulated and striped with the same
 care and imagination as a zebra.  Apparently it does not occur to nature
 whether or not a creature is within our range of vision, and the suspicion
 arises that even the zebra was not designed for our benefit."
                        [Rudolf Arnheim]
%
"All the biblical miracles will at last
 disappear with the progress of science."
    [Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)]
%
      "Miracles do not happen."
 [Matthew Arnold, Literature and Dogma,
  last words of preface to 1883 edition]
%
"It is almost impossible to exaggerate the proneness of the human mind
 to take miracles as evidence, and to seek for miracles as evidence."
           [Matthew Arnold, "Literature and Dogma"]
%
"We are only fabulous
 beasts, after all."
   [John Ashbery]
%
"Whatever the Life-Goddess Eve was originally like, she appears in
 Genesis as a Hebrew Pandora, the villainess in a story about the origin
 of human misfortune....She has dwindled to being merely the first woman,
 a troublemaker, created from a rib of the senior and dominant first man."
                [Geoffrey Ashe, "The Virgin," 1976]
%
"I've come to the conclusion that there can be little or no dialogue
 between 'proclaimers of truth' (religious and secular ideologues)
 and 'discoverers of truth' (empiricists). The former tend to debate,
 the latter tend to discuss."
                    [Edward H. Ashment]
%
"Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to
 be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition."
                       [Isaac Asimov]
%
"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always
 been premature, and it remains premature today."
              [Isaac Asimov]
%
"Imagine the people who believe such things and who are not ashamed to ignore,
 totally, all the patient findings of thinking minds through all the centuries
 since the Bible was written.  And it is these ignorant people, the most
 uneducated, the most unimaginative, the most unthinking among us, who would
 make themselves the guides and leaders of us all; who would force their
 feeble and childish beliefs on us; who would invade our schools and libraries
 and homes.  I personally resent it bitterly and warn the people of Canada..."
        [Isaac Asimov, Canadian Atheists Newsletter, 1994]
%
"To rebel against a powerful political, economic, religious, or social
 establishment is very dangerous and very few people do it, except, perhaps,
 as part of a mob. To rebel against the "scientific" establishment, however,
 is the easiest thing in the world, and anyone can do it and feel enormously
 brave, without risking as much as a hangnail. Thus, the vast majority, who
 believe in astrology and think that the planets have nothing better to do
 than form a code that will tell them whether tomorrow is a good day to close
 a business deal or not, become all the more excited and enthusiastic about
 the bilge when a group of astronomers denounces it."
                            [Isaac Asimov]
%
"...if I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose
to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the
pattern of their words.  I think he would prefer an honest and righteous
atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose
every deed is foul, foul, foul."
            [Isaac Asimov, _I. Asimov: A Memoir_]
%
"As it happens, Josephus, who mentions John the Baptist, does not mention
 Jesus. There is, to be sure, a paragraph in his history of the Jews which
 is devoted to Jesus, but it interrupts the flow of the discourse and seems
 suspiciously like an afterthought.  Scholars generally believe this to
 have been an insertion by some early Christian editor who, scandalized
 that Joesphus should talk of the period without mentioning the Messiah,
 felt the insertion to be a pious act."
    [Isaac Asimov, _Asimov's Guide To The Bible_ ISBN 0-517-34582-X]
%
"Although the time of death is approaching me, I am not afraid of dying
 and going to Hell or (what would be considerably worse) going to the
 popularized version of Heaven.  I expect death to be nothingness and, for
 removing me from all possible fears of death, I am thankful to atheism."
          [Isaac Asimov, "On Religiosity", Free Inquiry]
%
"We owe it to ourselves as respectable human beings, as thinking human
 beings, to do what we can to make humanity more rational...Humanists
 recognize that it is only when people feel free to think for themselves,
 using reason as their guide, that they are best capable of developing
 values that succeed in satisfying human needs and serving human interests."
                         [Isaac Asimov]
%
"It is rather remarkable that such a deed would be overlooked when
 many more far less wicked deeds of Herod were carefully described."
    [Isaac Asimov, "Guide to the Bible", on Herod's allegedly
     killing all young male children to prevent the messiah]
%
"No other country has as diverse religious groups as the U.S., which
 has at least 52 major denominations with memberships exceeding 100,000.
 The Yearbook of American and Canadian Churches lists 223 sects, cults,
 and denominations, not counting groups such as the First Church of
 Christ, Scientist, which provide no membership statistics."
                 [Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts]
%
"Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is
 something you dreamt up after being drunk all night."
              [Isaac Asimov]
%
"I certainly don't believe in the mythologies of our society, in heaven and
 hell, in God and angels, in Satan and demons. I've thought of myself as an
 'atheist,' but that simply described what I didn't believe in, not what I
 did. Gradually, though, I became aware there was a movement called 'humanism,'
 which used that name because, to put it most simply, humanists believe that
 human beings produced the progressive advance of human society and also the
 ills that plague it. They believe that if the ills are to be alleviated, it
 is humanity that will have to do the job. They disbelieve in the influence
 of the supernatural on either the good or the bad of society."
          [Isaac Asimov, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief,
           Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by
           James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"The fundamentalists deny that evolution has taken place; they deny that
 the earth and the universe as a whole are more than a few thousand years
 old, and so on. There is ample scientific evidence that the fundamentalists
 are wrong in these matters, and that their notions of cosmogony have about
 as much basis in fact as the Tooth Fairy has."
          [Isaac Asimov, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief,
           Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by
           James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"I am not responsible for what other people think.  I am responsible only
 for what I myself think, and I know what that is.  No idea I've ever come
 up with has ever struck me as a divine revelation. Nothing I have ever
 observed leads me to think there is a God watching over me."
         [Isaac Asimov, "Religiosity", from Isaac
          Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine Jan. 1992]
%
"The bible must be seen in a cultural context. It didn't just
 happen. These stories are retreads. But, tell a Christian that
 -- No, No! What makes it doubly sad is that they hardly know
 the book, much less its origins."
                   [Isaac Asimov]
%
"I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole
 life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more.  For whatever the
 tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse."
                     [Isaac Asimov]
%
"Naturally, since [the Sumerians] didn't know what caused the flood
 anymore than we do, they blamed the gods.  (That's the advantage of
 religion. You're never short an explanation for anything.)"
        [Isaac Asimov, in essay "The Last Man on Earth",
         1982, reprinted in his essay collection "The
         Tyrannosaurus Prescription"]
%
"...anger is the common substitute for logic among those who
 have no evidence for what they desperately want to believe."
  [Isaac Asimov, in essay "Hobgoblin", 1980, reprinted in
   his essay collection "The Tyrannosaurus Prescription"]
%
"Every religion seems like a fantasy to outsiders,
 but as holy truth to those of the faith."
   [Isaac Asimov, in essay "Is Fantasy Forever",
    1982, reprinted in his essay collection
    "The Tyrannosaurus Prescription"]
%
"Properly read, the Bible is the most
 potent force for atheism ever conceived."
          [Isaac Asimov]
%
"So the universe is not quite as you thought it was.
 You'd better rearrange your beliefs, then.
 Because you certainly can't rearrange the universe."
    [Isaac Asimov & Robert Silverberg _Nightfall_]
%
"It seems to me that it's insulting to human beings to imply that
 only a system of rewards and punishments can keep you a decent
 human being...I have a conscience. It doesn't depend on religion."
                    [Isaac Asimov]
%
"It's rather a shame.  Now that the creationists are deprived of their
 chance of burning people at the stake, their best argument is gone."
            [Isaac Asimov, "Life and Time," 1979]
%
"It is precisely because it is fashionable for Americans to know no science,
 even though they may be well educated otherwise, that they so easily fall
 prey to nonsense. They thus become part of the armies of the night, the
 purveyors of nitwittery, the retailers of intellectual junk food, the
 feeders on mental cardboard, for their ignorance keeps them from
 distinguishing nectar from sewage."
               [Isaac Asimov, "The Armies of the Night"]
%
"Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight
 for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued
 defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the
 rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual
 we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand
 who hug superstition to their breasts."
  [Isaac Asimov, when asked why he fights religion with no hope for victory]
%
"In medieval times, church bells were often consecrated to ward off
 evil spirits.  Because thunderstorms were attributed to the work
 of demons, the bells would be rung in an attempt to stop the storms.
 Lots of bellringers were killed by lightning."
          ["Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts" � 1979]
%
"We will inevitably recede into the backwater of civilization, and
 those nations that retain opened scientific thought will take over the
 leadership of the world and the cutting edge of human advancement. I
 don't suppose that the creationists really plan the decline of the
 United States, but their loudly expressed patriotism is as
 simpleminded as their "science." If they succeed, they will, in their
 folly, achieve the opposite of what they say they wish."
    [Isaac Asimov, 'The "Threat" of Creationism',
     essay in "Science and Creationism," 1984
     http://www.freethought-web.org/ctrl/azimov_creationism.html]
%
"My aim is to argue that the universe can come into existence without
 intervention, and that there is no need to invoke the idea of a
 Supreme Being in one of its numerous manifestations."
        [Peter William Atkins, preface to _The Creation_]
%
"Someone with a fresh mind, one not conditioned by upbringing and
 environment, would doubtless look at science and the powerful
 reductionism that it inspires as overwhelmingly the better mode of
 understanding the world, and would doubtless scorn religion as
 sentimental wishful thinking. Would not that same uncluttered mind also
 see the attempts to reconcile science and religion by disparaging the
 reduction of the complex to the simple as attempts guided by
 muddle-headed sentiment and intellectually dishonest emotion?"
  [P. W. Atkins, "The Limitless Power of Science" essay in "Nature's
   Imagination", John Cornwell, ed.; 1995 Oxford University Press, p.123]
%
"Religion closes off the central questions of existence by attempting to
 dissuade us from further enquiry by asserting that we cannot ever hope to
 comprehend. We are, religion asserts, simply too puny. Through fear of
 being shown to be vacuous, religion denies the awesome power of human
 comprehension. It seeks to thwart, by encouraging awe in things unseen,
 the disclosure of the emptiness of faith. Religion, in contrast to
 science, deploys the repugnant view that the world is too big for our
 understanding. Science, in contrast to religion, opens up the great
 questions of being to rational discussion, to discussion with the
 prospect of resolution and elucidation. Science, above all, respects the
 power of the human intellect. Science is the apotheosis of the intellect
 and the consummation of the Rennaissance. Science respects more deeply
 the potential of humanity than religion ever can."
  [P. W. Atkins, "The Limitless Power of Science" essay in "Nature's
   Imagination", John Cornwell, ed.; 1995 Oxford University Press, p.125]
%
"It's a vacuous answer . . . To say that 'God made the world' is
 simply a more or less sophisticated way of saying that we don't
 understand how the universe originated. A god, in so far as it
 is anything, is an admission of ignorance."
            [Peter Atkins, British Association
             for the Advancement of Science]
%
"I enjoy a little christian-bashing, now and then."
   [Atlanta Freethought Society member survey]
%
"People everywhere enjoy believing things that they know are
 not true.  It spares them the ordeal of thinking for themselves
 and taking responsibility for what they know."
         [Brook Atkinson, "Once Around the Sun"]
%
"Atheists!? I bet you're feeling a right bunch of charlies.....
 And Christians!?  Over here please. Yes, you see, I'm afraid
 that the jews were right after all."
       [Rowan Atkinson as The Devil (or 'Toby')
        welcoming new arrivals to Hell]
%
"The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make
 empty prophecies.  The danger already exists that mathematicians have made
 a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the
 bonds of Hell."
                   [Saint Augustine]
%
"Often a non-Christian knows something about the earth, the heavens, and
 the other parts of the world, about the motions and orbits of the stars and
 even their sizes and distances,... and this knowledge he holds with
 certainty from reason and experience.  It is thus offensive and disgraceful
 for an unbeliever to hear a Christian talk nonsense about such things,
 claiming that what he is saying is based in Scripture.  We should do all
 that we can to avoid such an embarrassing situation, which people see as
 ignorance in the Christian and laugh to scorn."
         [St. Augustine, "De Genesi ad litteram libri duodecim"
          (The Literal Meaning of Genesis)]
%
"I feel that nothing so casts down the manly mind from
 it's height as the fondling of women and those bodily
 contacts which belong to the married state."
         [St. Augustine, De Trinitate 7.7]
%
"All diseases of Christians are to be ascribed to demons;
 chiefly do they torment freshly-baptized Christians,
 yea, even the guiltless new-born infants."
          [Saint Augustine (354-430)]
%
"It is indeed better (as no one ever could deny) that men should be led to
 worship God by teaching, than that they should be driven to it by fear of
 punishment or pain; but it does not follow that because the former course
 produces the better men, therefore those who do not yield to it should be
 neglected.  For many have found advantage (as we have proved, and are daily
 proving by actual experiment), in being first compelled by fear or pain, so
 that they might afterwards be influenced by teaching, or might follow
 out in act what they had already learned in word."
           [St. Augustine, Treatise on the
            Correction of the Donatists (417), p.214]
%
"Nothing is so much to be shunned as sex relations."
     [St. Augustine (354-430), "Soliloquies"]
%
"Women should not be enlightened or educated in any way.
 They should, in fact, be segregated as they are the cause
 of hideous and involuntary erections in holy men."
               [St. Augustine]
%
"This then is not God, if thou has comprehended it;
 but if this be God, thou hast not comprehended it."
         [St. Augustine, "Sermo LII"]
%
"It is impossible that there should be inhabitants on the
 opposite side of the Earth, since no such race is recorded
 by Scripture among the descendants of Adam."
    [St. Augustine, from "The Dark Side of Christian
     History" by Linda Ellerbe, 1995, Morningstar Books]
%
"Any woman who does not give birth to as many
 children as she is capable is guilty of murder."
              [St. Augustine]
%
"If anyone can show me, and prove to me, that I am wrong in
 thought or deed, I will gladly change.  I seek the truth,
 which never yet hurt anybody.  It is only persistence in
 self-delusion and ignorance which does harm."
               [Marcus Aurelius]
%
"God loves all his children, by gum.
 That don't mean he won't incinerate some.
 Can't you feel those hot flames licking you..."
   [Austin Lounge Lizards, "Jesus Loves Me"]
%
"A prevalent fallacy is the assumption that a proof of an after-life would
 also be a proof of the existence of a deity. This is far from being the case.
 If - as I hold -there is no good reason to believe that a god either created
 or presides over this world, there is equally no good reason to believe that
 a god created or presides over the next world, on the unlikely supposition
 that such a thing exists."
      [Sir A. J. Ayer, in the Sunday Telegraph, Aug. 28, 1988, pg. 5]
%
"The fact that people have religious experiences is interesting from
 the psychological point of view, but it does not in any way imply that
 there is such a thing as religious knowledge...Unless he can formulate
 his "knowldege" in propositions that are empirically verifiable, we
 may be sure that he is deceiving himself."
          [A. J. Ayer, "Language, Truth and Logic"]
%
"Religious Cult:  The church down the street from yours."
        [_B.C._ cartoon, 30 April 1994]
%
"The earth is flat, and anyone who disputes this claim
 is an atheist who deserves to be punished."
     [Muslim religious edict, 1993
      Sheik Abdel-Aziz Ibn Baaz
      Supreme religious authority, Saudi Arabia]
%
"For they heard that command of our Creator, if they truly listened to
 His instructions to be responsible stewards, then their entire framework
 of human rationalizations for tearing apart Act comes to naught"
      [U.S. Secretary of the Interior Bruce Babbitt, using
       religious arguments to defend the 1973 Endangered Species
       Act from conservatives who wish to limit or abolish it]
%
"The general root of superstition is that men observe when things hit, and
 not when they miss and commit to memory the one, and pass over the other."
                     [Sir Francis Bacon]
%
"Atheism leaves a man to sense, to philosophy, to natural piety, to
 laws, to reputation, all which may be guides to an outward moral
 virtue, though religion were not; but superstition dismounts all
 these, and erects an absolute monarchy in the minds of men...the
 master of superstition is the people; and arguments are fitted to
 practice, in a reverse order."
            [Sir Francis Bacon "Of Superstition"]
%
"A bad man is worse when he pretends to be a saint."
              [Francis Bacon]
%
"The trinitarian believes a virgin to be
 the mother of a son who is her maker."
  [Sir Francis Bacon, quoted in "2000 Years of
   Disbelief, Famous People with the Courage to
   Doubt", by James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"People prefer to believe what they prefer to be true."
               [Francis Bacon]
%
"Hey Brother Christian with your high and mighty errand
 Your actions speak so loud I can't hear a word you're saying(...)
 Hey Moral Soldier you've got righteous proclamations
 And precious tomes to fuel your pulpy conflagrations"
    [Bad Religion, "I want to conquer the world"]
%
"I don't know what stopped Jesus Christ
    from turning every hungry stone into bread,
 And I don't remember hearing how Moses reacted
     when the innocent first born sons lay dead,
 Well I guess God was a bit more demonstrative
      back when he flamboyantly parted the sea,
 Now everybody's praying, Don't prey on me."
     [Bad Religion, "Don't Pray on Me",
      on the Recipe for Hate album]
%
"And I want to conquer the world,
 Give all the idiots a brand new religion..."
          [Bad Religion]
%
"Life ever-after is what they're in business for
 See them brandish the key to their kingdom's door
 It's persuasive upon a part of you and me
 But not overwhelming as they wish it to be
 If no one believed in faery tales
 There's nothing they could do but fail"
    [Bad Religion, "Operation Rescue"]
%
"No one really knows why we die
 No one gets a break, so we try
 Ignoring mortality, we worship mediocrity
 And wait to see what happens up on high"
   [Bad Religion, "In so Many Ways"]
%
"Speak of Truth with a mighty voice
 But politics are your real choice
 Hire men to change the Law
 Protect and serve with one small flaw
 The Voice of God is government!"
         [Bad Religion]
%
"So long as there are earnest believers in the world, they will
 always wish to punish opinions, even if their judgment tells them
 it is unwise and their conscience that it is wrong."
          [Walter Bagehot, Literary Studies]
%
"When someone comes and proselytizes for another god or another final authority
 (and by the way, that god may be man)--when someone tries to undermine the
 commitment to Jehovah which is fundamental to the civil order of a godly
 state--then that person needs to be restrained by the magistrate. However,
 this does not mean that individuals should be punished for holding heretical
 views, the views that Baptists think are heretical or Lutherans think are
 heretical and so forth. It simply means that those who will not acknowledge
 Jehovah as the ultimate authority behind the civil law code which the
 magistrate is enforcing would be punished and repressed. You would, therefore,
 be open, I believe, to hold Muslim views or Hindu views in the privacy of your
 own home, provided it was not a Christian home that you've now come into to
 subvert and draw away from Jehovah. You would be able to hold these views as a
 private conviction.  But you would not be allowed to proselytize and undermine
 the order of the state. Before people who are non-theonomists get too terribly
 upset about this view, I would at least ask them to reflect on this fact:
 every civil order protects its foundations."
        [Greg Bahnsen, Christian Reconstructionist, in "An Interview
         with Greg L. Bahnsen,"  Calvinism Today, Jan. 1994, p. 23]
%
"On the other hand, in a theonomic society the civil government would
 promote virtues that it often works against today. It would reinstitute
 laws protecting the observance of the Sabbath."
      [Greg Bahnsen, God and Politics, ed. by Gary Scott Smith,
       (New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed, 1989), p. 263]
%
"For Christianity, the world must be regarded as the "creation" of a
 kind of Superman, a person possessing all the human excellences to an
 infinite degree and none of the human weaknesses, Who has made man in His
 image, a feeble, mortal, foolish copy of Himself. In creating the universe,
 God acts as a sort of playwright-cum-legislator-cum-judge-cum-executioner."
             [Kurt E. M. Baier, "The Meaning of Life"]
%
"...Jesus was almost certainly not 'of Nazareth'.  An overwhelming
 body of evidence indicates that Nazareth did not exist in biblical
 times.  The town is unlikely to have appeared before the third century."
        [Baigent, Leigh and Lincoln, _The Messianic Legacy_]
%
"Why is it that Christianity more than any other of the
 world's religions has succumbed to the racist disease?"
  [John Austin Baker, the former Bishop of Salisbury UK,
   Theology and Racism, quoted by Edward Patey, Dean of
   Liverpool Cathedral in "Questions for Today", 1986, p81]
%
"It's not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific
 calling from God, is to be a television talk-show host."
                   [James Bakker]
%
"I wake up every morning and I wish I were dead, and so does Jim."
                 [Tammy Fae Bakker]
%
"...and now we're down to our last $37,000."

     "But just last week you said you were down to your last $50,000,
      what happened to $13,000 since then?"

"Uh...um...I don't know."
              [Tammy Fae Bakker]
%
"You can educate yourself right out of a relationship with God."
       [Tammy Faye Bakker (1942-), U.S. television evangelist,
        former co-host of PTL TV ministry and wife of Jim Bakker
        who was imprisoned for defrauding his followers.
        From  "Observer" (London), 28 Feb. 1988]
%
"There's times when I just have to quit thinking... and
 the only way I can quit thinking is by shopping."
      [Tammy Faye Bakker, in "And I Quote,"
       by Ashton Applewhite, 1992]
%
"I take Him shopping with me.  I say, "OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain."
         [Tammy Faye Bakker, from "Food for Thought,"
          internet collection by Jack Tourette]
%
"You don't have to be dowdy to be a Christian."
  [Tammy Faye Bakker, "Newsweek," 8 Jun. 1987]
%
"I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist."
      [Tammy Faye Bakker, in "And I Quote,"
       by Ashton Applewhite, 1992]
%
"A Boss in Heavan is the best excuse for a boss on earth,
 therefore If God did exist, he would have to be abolished."
    [Mikhail Aleksandrovich Bakunin (1814-1876) Russian
     anarchist, atheist author, and founder of Nihilism,
     from "God and the State", 1874]
%
"The idea of God implies the abdication of human reason and justice;
 it is the most decisive negation of human liberty and necessarily
 ends in the enslavement of mankind both in theory and practice.  He
 who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about
 the matter but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity."
             [Mikhail Bakunin, from "Federalism,
              Socialism, and Anti-Theologism"]
%
"All religions, with their gods, demigods, prophets, messiahs
 and saints, are the product of the fancy and credulity of men
 who have not yet reached the full development and complete
 personality of their intellectual powers."
   [Mikhail A. Bakunin, "God and the State" (Dieu et l'etat)
    1874, from James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief]
%
"But here steps in Satan, the eternal rebel, the first free-thinker and
 emancipator of worlds.  He makes man ashamed of his bestial ignorance and
 obedience; he emancipates him, stamps upon his brow the seal of liberty and
 humanity, in urging him to disobey and eat of the fruit of knowledge."
              [Bakunin, _God and the State_ (1874)]
%
"A jealous lover of human liberty, deeming it the absolute
 condition of all that we admire and respect in humanity, I
 reverse the phrase of Voltaire and say, 'if God really
 existed, it would be necessary to abolish him.'"
      [Mikhail Bakunin, "God and the State", 1874]
%
"If God is, man is a slave; now, man can and
 must be free; then, God does not exist."
 I defy anyone whomsoever to avoid this circle;
 now, therefore, let all choose."
  [Mikhail Bakunin, "God and the State", 1874]
%
"They [religious idealists] say in a single breath: "God and the liberty
 of man," "God and the dignity, justice, equality, fraternity, prosperity
 of men" -- regardless of the fatal logic by virtue of which, if God
 exists, all these things are condemned to nonexistence. For, if God is,
 he is necessarily the eternal, supreme, absolute master, and, if such a
 master exists, man is a slave. Now, if he is a slave, neither justice,
 nor equality, nor fraternity, nor prosperity are possible for him. In
 vain, flying in the face of good sense and all the teachings of history,
 do they represent their God as animated by the tenderest love of human
 liberty. A master, whoever he may be and however liberal he may desire
 to show himself, remains none the less always a master."
            [Mikhail Bakunin, "God and the State", 1874]
%
"With the name of God they imagine that they can establish fraternity among
 men, and on the contrary, they create pride, contempt; they sow discord,
 hatred, war; they establish slavery.  For with God came the different
 degrees of divine inspiration; humanity is divided into men highly inspired,
 less inspired, uninspired.  All are equally insignificant before God, it is
 true; but compared with each other, some are greater than others; not only
 in fact- which would be of no consequence, because inequality in fact is
 lost in the collectivity when it cannot cling to some legal fiction or
 institution- but by the divine right of inspiration, which immediately
 establishes a fixed, constant, petrifying inequality.  The highly inspired
 must be listened to and obeyed by the less inspired, and the less inspired
 by the uninspired.  Thus we have the principle of authority well established,
 and with it the two fundamental institutions of slavery: Church and State."
          [Mikhail Bakunin, "Church and State", 1872, p. 53]
%
"For ten centuries Christianity, armed with the omnipotence of the Church
 and State and opposed by no competition, was able to deprave, debase, and
 falsify the mind of Europe.  It had no competitors, because outside the
 Church there was neither thinkers nor educated persons.  It along taught,
 it alone spoke and wrote, it alone taught."
          [Mikhail Bakunin, "Church and State", 1872, p. 78]
%
"The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology,
 of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven,
 we will be slaves on earth."
     [Mikhail A. Bakunin, "God and the State," from
      James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief]
%
"Christianity is the complete negation of common sense and sound reason."
         [Mikhail A. Bakunin, God and the State, from
          James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief]
%
"All temporal or human authority proceeds directly from spiritual authority.
 But authority is the negation of liberty. God, or rather the fiction of God,
 is thus the sanction and the intellectual and moral cause of all the slavery
 on earth, and the liberty of men will not be complete, unless it will
 have completely annihilated the inauspicious fiction of a heavenly master."
            [Mikhail A. Bakunin, Oeuvres, Vol. I, p. 283]
%
"Replacing the cult of God by respect and love of humanity, we
 proclaim human reason as the only criterion of truth; human
 conscience as the basis of justice; individual and collective
 freedom as the only source of order in society."
  [Bakunin, "Revolutionary Catechism" in _Bakunin on Anarchy_]
%
"...the Bible as we have it contains elements that are scientifically
 incorrect or even morally repugnant.  No amount of "explaining away"
 can convince us that such passages are the product of Divine Wisdom."
        [Bernard J. Bamberger, _The Story of Judaism_]
%
"Love your drag, honey, but did you know your purse is on fire?"
        [Tallulah Bankhead, to the censer preceding
         the bishop up the aisle at Catholic service]
%
"Reason shapes the future, but superstition infects the present."
                   [Iain M Banks]
%
"The very concept of sin comes from the bible. Christianity offers to
 solve a problem of its own making! Would you be thankful to a person
 who cut you with a knife in order to sell you a bandage?"
            [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"How happy can you be when you think every action and
 thought is being monitored by a judgmental ghost?"
        [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"You can cite a hundred references to show that the biblical God is a
 bloodthirsty tyrant, but if they can dig up two or three verses that say
 "God is love," they will claim that *you* are taking things out of context!"
              [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"I do understand what love is, and that is one of the reasons I can never
 again be a Christian. Love is not self denial. Love is not blood and
 suffering.  Love is not murdering your son to appease your own vanity.
 Love is not hatred or wrath, consigning billions of people to eternal
 torture because they have offended your ego or disobeyed your rules.
 Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love
 that iscontingent upon authority, punishment, or reward.  True love is
 respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a
 healthy, unafraid human being."
               [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"I have something to say to the religionist who feels atheists never say
 anything positive: You are an intelligent human being. Your life is
 valuable for its own sake. You are not second-class in the universe,
 deriving meaning and purpose from some other mind. You are not inherently
 evil--you are inherently human, possessing the positive rational potential
 to help make this a world of morality, peace and joy. Trust yourself."
              [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"There is joy in rationality, happiness in clarity of mind.
 Freethought is thrilling and fulfilling--absolutely essential
 to mental health and happiness."
        [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"It's not easy to change world views.  Faith has its own momentum and belief
 is comfortable.  To restructure reality is traumatic and scary.  That is why
 many intelligent people continue to believe: unbelief is an unknown."
              [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"For my money, I'll bet on reason and humanistic kindness. Even if I am wrong
 I will have enjoyed my life, the existence of which is under little dispute."
              [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"The longer I have been an atheist, the more amazed
 I am that I ever believed Christian notions."
     [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"Not thinking critically, I assumed that the "successful" prayers
 were proof that God answers prayer while the failures were proof
 that there was something wrong with me."
         [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"To think that the ruler of the universe will run to my assistance
 and bend the laws of nature for me is the height of arrogance."
           [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"Without "The Law of Moses" would we all be wandering around like little gods,
 stealing, raping, and spilling blood whenever our vanity was offended?"
              [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"Truth does not demand belief. Scientists do not join hands every Sunday,
 singing, "yes, gravity is real! I will have faith! I will be strong! I
 believe in my heart that what goes up, up, up must come down, down. down.
 Amen!" If they did, we would think they were pretty insecure about it."
                   [ex-preacher Dan Barker]
%
"Just say NO to religion."
     [Dan Barker]
%
"You keep accusing me of blasphemy all of the time,
 But I cannot be convicted of a victimless crime."
                  [Dan Barker]
%
"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches,
 demons, sticks turning into snakes, food falling from the sky, people
 walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive
 stories, and you say that _we_ are the ones that need help?"
             [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
%
"Faith is a cop-out. It is intellectual bankruptcy. If the
 only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then
 you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits."
      [Dan Barker Former evangelist, author, critic]
%
"I am an atheist because there is no evidence for the existence of God.
 That should be all that needs to be said about it: no evidence, no belief."
     [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist"]
%
"If the answers to prayer are merely what God wills all along, then why pray?"
     [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist"]
%
"We were blood brothers, pals forever.  He was my very best friend.
 Nobody else could see him.  I now know he was just pretend."
                  [Dan Barker]
%
"I threw out all the bath water, and there was no baby there."
    [Dan Barker, referring to the Bible in a debate, 1989]
%
"God is the anthropomorphized Aesop character who represents the
 culmination of all the guilt (i.e. vulnerability) we feel whenever
 our own megalomaniacal self-support structure (sense of internal reality
 control) fails to distract us from the dread of our imminent demise."
                      [Br0d Barkett]
%
"If there were a god, there would be no need for religion.
 If there were not a god, there would be no need for religion."
          [Ron Barrier, Rbargodnow@aol.com]
%
"There is no such thing as a god.  If such a creature existed,
 belief would be rendered unnecessary, and the entire system
 of organized religion would collapse."
          [Ron Barrier, Rbargodnow@aol.com]
%
"Atheism - Your Gain, No Pain!"
        [Ron Barrier]
%
"God is a placebo for your own mortality."
          [Robert Barron]
%
"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians
 called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka"
 and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank.  People
 passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy
 Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
       [Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"]
%
"In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation
 Man came up with for *anything* until about 1926 was stupid."
                        [Dave Barry]
%
"Pretty rowdy behavior for Jesus.  He'd get a buzz off
 the beer and go squealing out of the parking lot."
            [Bartender in Waco, TX]
%
"If you have seen me cross myself, it was to Science, Art and Nature."
                         [Bela Bartok]
%
"There should be absolutely no 'Separation of Church and State' in America."
     [David Barton, president of Wallbuilders and a close ally of
      the Christian Coalition, 1994 Anti-Defamation League Report]
%
"After all, any religion that can get numerous Christians to ignore a simple
 and direct command from jesus in the name of "context" obviously is going
 to have a hard time with teaching better morality to everybody else.
 Maybe this explains the widespread explosion of religion in America and
 the widespread rise in hatefulness, racism, right winged savagery, and
 widespread lack of honesty."
           [William Barwell, wbarwell@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM]
%
"If a man achieves or suffers change in premises which are deeply
 embedded in his mind, he will surely find that the results of that
 change will ramify throughout his whole universe."
                   [Gegory Bateson]
%
"We are engaged in a social, political, and cultural war. There's a lot of talk
 in America about pluralism.  But the bottom line is somebody's values will
 prevail. And the winner gets the right to teach our children what to believe."
      [Gary Bauer, religious-right Family Research Council]
%
"Do you want 'Transvestite Coming Out Week?' 'Sado-masochist Coming
 Out Week?' People can do all sorts of things in the privacy of their
 bedrooms, and they will bear the consequences of what they do. But I
 don't understand this insistence in putting it in our face."
     [Gary Bauer, Pres., Family Research Council and 2000 US
      Presidential candiate, from USA Today Oct. 15, 1999]
%
"Cockroach: An ugly, greasy, universally reviled, six-legged freeloader
    with a fondness for procreation and leftovers. One of nature's
    all-time success stories, suggesting that God must love an obscene joke."
 [adapted from Rick Bayan's The Cynic's Dictionary Hearst Books, N.Y., 1992]
%
"All the idols made by man, however terrifying they may be, are in
 point of fact subordinate to him, and that is why he will always have
 it in his power to destroy them."
            [Simone de Beauvoir, "The Second Sex", 1949]
%
"Man enjoys the great advantage of having a god endorse the code he writes;
 and since man exercises a sovereign authority over women it is especially
 fortunate that this authority has been vested in him by the Supreme Being.
 For the Jews, Mohammedans and Christians among others, man is master by
 divine right; the fear of God will therefore repress any impulse towards
 revolt in the downtrodden female."
            [Simone de Beauvoir, "The Second Sex", 1949]
%
"I cannot be angry at God, in whom I do not believe."
      [Simone de Beauvoir, from James A.
       Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief]
%
"Hey Butt-Head check this book out!  There's a talking snake,
 a naked chick, then some guy puts a leaf on his SCHLONG!!"
           [Beavis and Butt-Head Do America]
%
"Christ came, and Christianity arose...But originating in Judaism, which
 knew woman only as a being bereft of all rights, and biased by the Biblical
 conception which saw in her the source of all evil, Christianity preached
 contempt for women."
            [August Bebel, "Woman and Socialism", 1893]
%
"We aim in the domain of politics at republicanism; in the
 domain of economics at socialism; in the domain of what
 is today called religion, at atheism."
         [August Bebel, Summary of Views]
%
"Enough of acting the infant who has been told so often how he was found under
 a cabbage that in the end he remembers the exact spot in the garden and the
 kind of life he led there before joining the family circle."
                         [Samuel Beckett]
%
"There was never such a gigantic lie told as the fable of the Garden of Eden."
         [Henry Ward Beecher, early American preacher, from
          "What Great Men Think Of Religion" by Ira Cardiff]
%
"Applaud, friends, the comedy is over."
  [Beethoven's sarcastic remarks after a priest's last rites as he
   lay dying in 1827; the priest had been summoned by religious
   friends. Fellow composer Joseph Haydn considered Beethoven an
   atheist.  As quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, Famous People with
   the Courage to Doubt", by James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
 and to the republic for which it stands,
 one nation,
 indivisible,
 with liberty and justice for all."
                  [Francis Bellamy, 1892]
%
"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous
 as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
    [Cardinal Bellarmino 1615, during the trial of Galileo]
%
"To affirm that the Sun ... is at the centre of the universe and only rotates
 on its axis without going from east to west, is a very dangerous attitude and
 one calculated not only to arouse all Scholastic philosophers and theologians
 but also to injure our holy faith by contradicting the Scriptures"
   [Cardinal Bellarmino, 17th Century Church Master Collegio Romano,
    who imprisoned and tortured Galileo for his astronomical works]
%
"We are told by the church that we have accomplished nothing... Is it a
 small thing to make men truly free, to destroy the dogmas of ignorance,
 prejudice and power, the poisoned fables of superstition, and drive from
 the beautiful face of earth the fiend of fear?"
            [D. M. Bennett, _Champions of the Church_]
%
"Faith - the ability to believe the ridiculous for the sublime."
                   [Rich Bennett]
%
"No power of government ought to be employed in the endeavor to
 establish any system or article of belief on the subject of religion."
      [Jeremy Bentham, Constitutional Code from George
       Seldes, The Great Quotations 1967, p. 813]
%
"Miracles happen to those who believe in them.  Otherwise
 why does not the Virgin Mary appear to Lamaists, Mohammedans,
 or Hindus who have never heard of her."
           [Bernard Berenson (1865-1959),
            New York Times Book Review]
%
"Homo sapiens, the only creature endowed with reason, is also
 the only creature to pin its existence on things unreasonable."
            [Henri Bergson, "Two Sources
             of Morality and Religion," 1935]
%
"For what is it but an exquisite and priceless chance of salvation
 due to God alone, that the omnipotent should deign to summon to
 His service, as though they were innocent, murderers, ravishers,
 adulterers, perjurers, and those guilty of every crime?"
    [St. Bernard, appeal for recruits for the Second Crusade,
     quoted by Brooks Adams, _The Law of Civilization and
     Decay_ (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., 1943), p. 144]
%
"The Christian glories in the death of a pagan,
 because thereby Christ himself is glorified."
      [Saint Bernard of Clairvaux]
%
"Culture is powerfully conservative. It enforces obedience to authority,
 the authority of parents, of history, of custom, of superstition."
          [Richard Bernstein, "Dictatorship of Virtue"]
%
"The proper place for the study of religious beliefs is in a church or temple,
 at home, or in a course on comparative religions, but not in a biology
 class. There is no place in our world for an ideology that seeks to close
 minds, force obedience, and return the world to a paradise that never was.
 Students should learn that the universe can be confronted and  understood,
 that ideas and authority should be questioned, that an open mind is a good
 thing. Education does not exist to confirm people's superstitions, and
 children do not learn to think when they are fed only dogma."
         [Tim Berra, "Evolution and the Myth of Creationism"]
%
"Fundamentalists long for the return of a more moral America, an America
 that may never have been. All around them they see what they perceive as
 declining morality and spirituality. They reason that if humans share
 ancestry with the other animals, we have no reason to behave as anything
 other than animals. This view neglects the fact that humans are the only
 known animals with the ability to contemplate the consequences of their own
 actions. It also fails to recognize that there is a great deal of good in
 the world, the nightly news notwithstanding. Crime existed long before the
 theory of evolution, even before the writing of the Bible, and biologists
 do not like crime any more than the creationists do. Evolutionary theory is
 not a license to run amok, and neither is a belief in the literal
 interpretation of the Bible a guarantor of moral behavior."
         [Tim Berra, "Evolution and the Myth of Creationism"]
%
"About 200 B.C. mystery cults began to appear in Rome just as they had
 earlier in Greece.  Most notable was the Cybele cult centered on Vatican
 hill ... Associated with the Cybele cult was that of her lover, Attis
 (the older Tammuz, Osiris, Dionysus, or Orpheus under a new name).  He
 was a god of ever-reviving vegetation.  Born of a virgin, he died and was
 reborn annually.  The festival began as a day of blood on Black Friday
 and culminated after three days in a day of rejoicing over the resurrection."
           [Gerald L. Berry, "Religions of the World"]
%
"Modern societies march towards morality in
 proportion as they leave religion behind."
            [Paul Bert]
%
"[N]o philosophy, no religion, has ever brought so glad a
 message to the world as this good news of Atheism."
     [Annie Besant, "The Gospel of Atheism"]
%
"I do not believe in God.  My mind finds no grounds on which to build up a
 reasonable faith.  My heart revolts against the spectre of an Almighty
 Indifference to the pain of sentient beings.  My conscience rebels against
 the injustice, the cruelty, the inequality, which surround me on every
 side.  But I believe in Man.  In man's redeeming power; in man's remoulding
 energy; in man's approaching triumph, through knowledge, love and work."
                    [Annie Besant (1847-1933)]
%
"Never yet has a God been defined in terms which were not palpably
 self-contradictory and absurd; never yet has a God been described
 so that a concept of Him was made possible to human thought."
                     [Annie Besant]
%
"I think it was Whitehead who said that religion is whatever a
 person does when alone. I'd say that religion is whatever a
 person does with their life. In either case, the national
 religion of America is television and jacking off."
                   [Carl Bettis]
%
"While it cannot be proved retrospectively that any experience of possession,
 conversion, revelation, or divine ecstasy was merely an epileptic discharge,
 we must ask how one differentiates "real transcendence" from neuropathies
 that produce the same extreme realness, profundity, ineffability, and sense
 of cosmic unity.  When accounts of sudden religious conversions in TLEs
 (temporal-lobe epileptics) are laid alongside the epiphanous revelations of
 the religious tradition, the parallels are striking.  The same is true of
 the recent spate of alleged UFO abductees.  Parsimony alone argues against
 invoking spirits, demons, or extraterrestrials when natural causes will
 suffice."
      [Barry L. Beyerstein, "Neuropathology and the Legacy of Spiritual
       Possession", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII, No. 3, pg. 255]
%
"As a man can drink water from any side of a full tank, so the skilled
 theologian can wrest from any scripture that which will serve his purpose."
         [Bhagavad Gita [The Lord's Song] (250 B.C.-A.D. 250)]
%
"If you love god, burn a church"
       [Jello Biafra]
%
"...balance the budget? Tax religion."
        [Jello Biafra]
%
"Can God fill teeth?"
  [Jello Biafra]
%
"Christianity is like tying a rubber hose around
 your common sense and shooting up with God."
             [Jello Biafra]
%
"See god?  That is the easiest thing in the world.  He always
 appears to me in the bottom of the tenth glass of beer... and
 sometimes as a beautiful, young, female nude."
    [theologian Franz Bibfeldt on the reality of visions]
%
"It is of course always best to be led by god, and have him
 personally whisper into your ear. Only, when it is the devil
 talking he will tell you he is god, for the devil is a crafty
 liar. So you never know who is talking to you."
        [German-born Theologian Franz Bibfeldt
         in his magnum opus "Vielleicht"]
%
"Any idiot can believe in Jesus H. Christ. To truly understand all
 that confusion in the gospels takes a real contortionist scholar."
             [Franz Bibfeldt, German theologian]
%
"What, me worry about the historical Jesus? The gospel writers made up their
 story; the church fathers invented the virgin birth on the winter solstice;
 the pope thought up the immaculate conception; so I can imagine any damn
 thing I please about Jesus, or the Spook, or about the big guy himself."
      [Theologian Franz Bibfeldt, on how to write religious history]
%
"Christianity:
   An invisible and all-knowing friend of mine made our male ancestor out of
   dirt, and made our female ancestor out of his rib, but our ancestors were
   tempted by a snake which was actually an enemy of my invisible friend and
   they ate a forbidden apple, so now all of us go to burn forever after we
   die unless we believe that my friend's son's blood is on us and in us and
   that this son died and rose zombie-like from the dead and floated up to
   heaven and sent his ghost to live inside of us.  He is coming soon!"
                     [Biblical Errancy list]
%
Saint:  A dead sinner revised and edited.
      [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
Pray:  To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of
       a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
          [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
"Religions are conclusions for which the
 facts of nature supply no major premises."
 [Ambrose Bierce, "Collected Works" (1912)]
%
Evangelist, n.,
  A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as
  assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbours.
         [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
Scriptures: The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished
            from the false and profane writings on which all other
            faiths are based.
        [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
Religion, n: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to
             Ignorance the Nature of the Unknowable.
    [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
Christian, n.:
    One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired
    book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.  One who
    follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent
    with a life of sin.
             [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks
          without knowledge, of things without parallel.
               [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian
          religion; in Constantinople, one who does.
      [Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), American author]
%
"Ocean:  A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made
         for man -- who has no gills."
     [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of
        their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while
        you expound on yours.
      [Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author]
%
Clergyman, n.  A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual
               affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
          [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
Convent.  A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to
          meditate upon the sin of idleness.
      [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary]
%
Impiety.  Your irreverence toward my deity.
   [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
Irreligion.  The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
       [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
"The pig is taught by sermons and epistles,
 To think the god of swine has snout and bristles."
  [Ambrose Bierce, "The Devils Dictionary"]
%
"Immortality, A toy which people cry for,
 And on their knees apply for,
 Dispute, contend and lie for,
 And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for."
        [Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)]
%
"Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by
          enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an
          expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears."
        [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
"Mammon: the god of the world's leading religion."
  [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
"Prophecy: the art and practice of selling one's
           credibility for future delivery."
   [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
"Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed
             all that he knew. The revealing is done by the
             commentators, who know nothing."
       [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911]
%
"Take not God's name in vain -- select
 A time when it will have effect."
     [Ambrose Bierce, "The
      Devil's Dictionary"]
%
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment
 of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."
  [First Amendment, Bill of Rights, U.S. Constitution]
%
"The true fanatic is a theocrat, someone who sees himself as acting on
 behalf of some superpersonal force: the Race, the Party, History, the
 proletariat, the Poor, and so on. These absolve him from evil, hence
 he may safely do anything in their service.
            [Lloyd Billingsley. "Religion's Rebel
             Son: Fanaticism in Our Time"]
%
"Religion is a means of exploitation employed by the strong against
 the weak; religion is a cloak of ambition, injustice and vice."
      [Georges Bizet, letter to Edmond Galabert, 1866]
%
"None of the people who claim to have found God have given us any reason
 to accept that they have, indeed, found anything but their own delusions."
                        [Kelsey Bjarnason]
%
"One would no more join Christianity to show love and acceptance
 than one would become a Nazi to show racial tolerance."
                  [Kelsey Bjarnason]
%
"Never before have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded
 perversity!  Have you ever considered a career in the Church?"
                 [Black Adder II]
%
Witchsmeller: "You are a witch."
      Edmund: "You are a quack."
Witchsmeller: "A what?"
      Edmund: "Quack, QUACK".
Witchsmeller: [turning to crowd]  "BEHOLD how the evil spirit
         of the duck speaks through him. He is indeed a witch"
Crowd: "Burn him, burn him!"
    [Black Adder, starring Rowan Atkinson as Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh,
     accused of being a witch by the Witchsmeller Pursuivant]
%
"Babble about 'The wages of sin' serves to cover up 'the sin of wages'.  We
 want rights, not rites -- sex, not sects.  Only Eros and Eris belong in our
 pantheon.  Surely the Nazarene necrophile has had his revenge by now.
 Remember, pain is just God's way of hurting you."
                 [Bob Black, "The Abolition of Work"]
%
"The "establishment of religion" clause of the First Amendment means at
 least this:  neither a state nor the Federal Government can set up a church.
 Neither can pass laws which aid one religion, aid all religions, or prefer
 one religion over another.  Neither can force nor influence a person to go
 to or remain away from church against his will or force him to profess a
 belief or disbelief in any religion."
      [U.S. Supreme Court Justice Hugo Black, Majority opinion
       Everson v. Board of Education 330 U.S. 1 (1947)]
%
"No person can be punished for entertaining or professing religious
 beliefs or disbeliefs, for church attendance or nonattendance."
    [U.S. Supreme Court justice Hugo Black, Majority opinion
     Everson v. Board of Education 330 U.S. 1 (1947)]
%
"No tax in any amount, large or small, can be levied to support any
 religious activities or institutions, whatever they may be called,
 or whatever form they may adopt to teach or practice religion."
   [Hugo L. Black, U.S. Supreme Court Justice, majority opinion
    in Everson v. Board of Education, 330 U.S. 1 (1947)]
%
"Neither a state nor the Federal Government can, openly or secretly,
 participate in the affairs of any religious organizations or groups
 and vice versa.  In the words of Jefferson, the clause against
 establishment of religion by law was intended to erect 'a wall of
 separation between church and state.'"
   [Hugo L. Black, U.S. Supreme Court Justice, majority opinion
    in Everson v. Board of Education, 330 U.S. 1 (1947)]
%
"The First Amendment has erected a wall between church and
 state.  That wall must be kept high and impregnable.  We
 could not approve the slightest breach."
     [Hugo L. Black, U.S. Supreme Court Justice,
      majority opinion in Everson v. Board of
      Education,  330 U.S. 1 (1947),last words]
%
"Its first and most immediate purpose rested on the belief that a union of
 government and religion tends to destroy government and degrade religion."
     [Justice Black, US Supreme Court Justice, on the 1st Amendment]
%
"[The First Amendment] requires the state to be a neutral in
 its relations with groups of believers and non-believers."
      [Justice Black, lead opinion, Everson v.
       Board of Education, 330 US 1 (1947)]
%
"The manifest object of the men who framed the institutions of this country,
 was to have a _State without religion_, and a _Church without politics_ --
 that is to say, they meant that one should never be used as an engine for
 any purpose of the other, and that no man's rights in one should be tested
 by his opinions about the other.  As the Church takes no note of men's
 political differences, so the State looks with equal eye on all the modes
 of religious faith. ... Our fathers seem to have been perfectly sincere in
 their belief that the members of the Church would be more patriotic, and the
 citizens of the State more religious, by keeping their respective functions
 entirely separate."
       [Chief Justice of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania
        Jeremiah S. Black, from "Essays and Speeches," 1885, p. 53]
%
"Well I don't want no preacher telling me about the god in the sky
 No I don't want no one to tell me where I'm gonna go when I die
 I wanna live my life with no people telling me what to do
 I just believe in myself, 'cause no one else is true"
   [O. Osbourne/T. Iommi/W. Ward/T. Butler, From "Under the Sun/
   Every Day Comes and Goes" Black Sabbath. _Sabbath Vol 4_]
%
"It's hard for me to believe that in the year 2000 I am walking
 into court to defend my daughter against charges of witchcraft."
     [Tim Blackbear, in Tulsa World 10/28/2000, whose
      daughter was expelled from Oklahoma public school
      and forbidden to wear Wiccan symbols amid charges
      that she had cast "spells" on teachers]
%
"The Bible doesn't forbid suicide.  It's Catholic directive,
 intended to slow down their loss of martyrs."
               [Ellen Blackstone]
%
"Superstition is the religion of feeble minds."
        [Edmund Blake (1729-1797)]
%
"Whenever I think of how religion started, I picture some frustrated
 old man making out a list of all the ways he could gain power, until
 he finally came up with the great solution of constant fear and guilt,
 then he leaped up and started planning a new wardrobe."
                        [Steve Blake]
%
"The ancient poets animated all objects with Gods or Geniuses, calling them
 by the names and adorning them with the properties of woods, rivers,
 mountains, lakes, cities, nations, and whatever their enlarged & numerous
 senses could perceive.  And particularly they studied the genius of each
 city & country, placing it under its mental deity; Till a system was formed,
 which some took advantage of, & enslav'd the vulgar by attempting to realize
 or abstract the mental deities from their objects: thus began priesthood;
 Choosing forms of worship from poetic tales.
 And at length they pronounc'd that the Gods had order'd such things.
 Thus men forgot that all deities reside in the human breast."
     [William Blake, from "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell"]
%
"As the caterpiller chooses the fairest leaves to lay her eggs
 on, so the priest lays his curse on the fairest joys."
       [William Blake, from "Proverbs of Hell"]
%
 THE GARDEN OF LOVE

 I went to the Garden of Love,
 And saw what I never had seen:
 A Chapel was built in the midst,
 Where I used to play on the green.

 And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
 And "Thou shalt not" writ over the door;
 So I turn'd to the Garden of Love
 That so many sweet flowers bore;

 And I saw it was filled with graves,
 And tomb-stones where flowers should be;
 And priests in black gowns were walking their rounds,
 And binding with briars my joy and desires.
     [William Blake, from "Songs of Experience"]
%
  A LITTLE BOY LOST

 "Nought loves another as itself,
  Nor venerates another so,
  Nor is it possible to thought
  A greater than itself to know:

 "And Father, how can I love you
  Or any of my brothers more?
  I love you like the little bird
  That picks up crumbs around the door."

  The Priest sat by and heard the child,
  In trembling zeal he seiz'd his hair:
  He led him by his little coat,
  And all admir'd the priestly care.

  And standing on the altar high,
  "Lo! what a fiend is here!" said he,
  "One who sets reason up for judge
  Of our most holy Mystery."

  The weeping child could not be heard,
  The weeping parents were in vain;
  They strip'd him to his little shirt,
  And bound him in an iron chain;

  And burn'd him in a holy place,
  Where many had been burn'd before:
  The weeping parents wept in vain.
  Are such things done on Albion's shore?        / england's

       [William Blake, from "Songs of Experience"]
%
"Prisons are built with stones of Law,
 Brothels with bricks of Religion."
   [William Blake, "The Marriage
    of Heaven and Hell"]
%
"Religions are not revealed: they are evolved.  If a religion were revealed
 by God, that religion would be perfect in whole and in part, and would be as
 perfect at the first moment of its revelation as after ten thousand years of
 practice.  There has never been a religion which fulfills those conditions."
            [Robert Blatchford, "God and My Neighbor," 1903]
%
"The Christians were the first to make the existence of Satan a dogma
 of the church. What is the use in a Pope if there is no Devil?"
                        [Elena Blavatsky]
%
"There has never been a religion in the annals of the
 world with such a bloody record as Christianity."
               [Elena Blavatsky]
%
"Religion is like chemotherapy, it may solve one
 problem, but it can cause a million more."
            [John Bledsoe]
%
"Anti-intellectualism among millenarians and Bible Literalists is a
 recurrent phenomenon, but no other religious movement in America ever
 has been as programatically set against its intellect as are Jehovah's
 Witnesses. The Fundamentalist majority wing of the Southern Baptist
 Convention are devotees of pure reason compared to Jehovah's Witnesses."
       [Harold Bloom, The American Religion, pg. 162]
%
"Sure, there's still war in the Balkans, but the Supreme Being
 of the universe seems to have become shallow and spends all his
 time intervening in sporting events."
              [John Bloom (aka Joe Bob Briggs),
               comment after the Super Bowl]
%
"Though there are a number of rather savage apocalyptic scenarios current
 among American Fundamentalists, I am aware of none quite so inhumane as the
 Jehovah's Witnesses' accounts of the End of our Time.  There is something
 peculiarly childish in these Watchtower yearnings: they remind me of why very
 small children cannot be left alone with wounded and suffering household pets."
         [Harold Bloom, The American Religion, pg. 169-170]
%
"There is a God, but He drinks"
           [Blore]
%
"At the first evidence of the onset of cyclic events
 pertaining to seventeen for the first, then obviously
 we reserve green hurt sliding down the billiard house
 on the second corner after dinner.  Other than that,
 blue interspersed with flying bats..........

 The above is an example of what bleater-logic sounds
 like to me."
        [bob <abilene@intercomm.com>]
%
"Gilles de Rais supposedly sodomized, mutilated, and murdered more
 than 700 children.  At his trial he told of his usual procedure of
 sexually assaulting boys, cutting open their chests and burying his face
 in their lungs, and opening their abdomens and handling their intestines.
 He also confessed to necrophilia with the dismembered bodies and to
 attempted intercourse with a fetus he cut out of a pregnant woman.
    At his trial de Rais REPENTED, and the bishop of Nantes WAS FORCED
 TO RECEIVE HIM BACK INTO THE CHURCH."
               [_Bodies_Under_Siege_ p.9-10]
%
"Considering all the evil that exists in the world, the fact that all
 of religion's condemnation is focused on expressing disapproval of
 two people loving each other proves just how evil religion is."
                       [Jan deBoer]
%
"Everything is more or less organized matter.  To think
 so is against religion, but I think so just the same."
            [Napoleon Bonapart]
%
"If I had to choose a religion, the sun as
 the universal giver of life would be my god."
         [Napoleon Bonaparte]
%
"How can you have order in a state without religion?  For, when
 one man is dying of hunger near another who is ill of surfeit,
 he cannot resign himself to this difference unless there is an
 authority which declares 'God wills it thus.'  Religion is
 excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet."
             [Napoleon Bonaparte]
%
"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."
            [Napoleon Bonaparte]
%
"I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly
 that their kingdom is not of this world, and yet
 they lay their hands on everything they can get."
           [Napoleon Bonaparte]
%
"Religion divides us, while it is our human
 characteristics that bind us to each other."
     [Sir Hermann Bondi, interview
      in Free Inquiry magazine]
%
"...I will never understand why the advent of tourists and beer is
 considered damaging to the culture [of the Bahinemo people in Papua
 New Guinea] while introducing Jesus is not.  These people have survived
 centuries with their own beliefs, invoking their own gods."
       [Richard A. Boni of Budapest, Hungary, in letter
        to the editor, National Geographic, June 1994]
%
"I want to boldly affirm Uncle Tom.  The black community
 must stop criticizing Uncle Tom.  He is a role model."
  [Wellington Boone, editorial board member of New Man, the
   Promise Keepers' official magazine, in Breaking Through, p. 77]
%
"All women have been sexually abused by the Bible teachings, and institutions
 set on  set on its fundamentalist interpretations. There would be no need
 for the women's movement if the church and Bible hadn't abused them."
                        [Father Leo Booth]
%
"One must keep in mind that religious liberty did not come easily. It
 did not simply ripen and fall to nonChristians as a gift. It had to be
 fought for in the legislative halls, in constitutional conventions and
 in the courts. What has been achieved, easily can be lost."
     [Morton Borden, Reason magazine June, 1987, from Menendez
      Doerr, The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom]
%
"'Believing' cannot tip the scales in making a historical judgment about
 whether something really happened. I can choose to believe that George
 Washington threw a silver dollar across the Rappahannock, but my believing
 that he did it has nothing to do with whether or not he really did to it.
 So also with the story of Jesus walking on the water: Believing that he did
 it has nothing to do with whether he really did do it. 'Belief' cannot be
 the basis for historical conclusion; it has no direct relevance."
           ["Faith and Scholarship" by Marcus J. Borg
            August, 1993 issue of _Bible Review_]
%
"3. Interpreting the Bible: All reading of Scripture (including a literalist
 approach) involves subjective interpretation. For example, to read the
 stories of Jesus' birth as literal historical accounts involves an act of
 interpretation just as much as reading them as symbolic narratives (namely,
 it involves a decision to read them  literally). The recognition that all
 interpretations are subjective does not, however, mean that all are equally
 good. About any interpretation, one may ask (or be asked), "what have you
 got to go on?  Why do you read it that way?"
           ["Faith and Scholarship" by Marcus J. Borg
            August, 1993 issue of _Bible Review_]
%
"If God has made the world a perfect mechanism, He has at least
 conceded so much to our imperfect intellect that in order to predict
 little parts of it, we need not solve innumerable differential
 equations, but can use dice with fair success."
                        [Max Born]
%
"Freedom is the distance between church and state."
               [John Boston]
%
"Pray, and all your sins are hooked upon the sky.
 Pray, and the heathen lie will disappear.
 Prayers, they hide the saddest views,
 Believing the strangest things, Loving the alien."
               [David Bowie]
%
"The Boy Scouts of America maintain that no member can grow into the
 best kind of citizen without recognizing his obligation to God."
     [Boy Scouts of America, statement on membership form]
%
"The recognition of God as the ruling and leading power in the
 universe and the grateful acknowledgment of His favors and
 blessings are necessary to the best type of citizenship..."
       [Boy Scouts of America policy, 1970]
%
"No man is much good unless he believes in God and obeys
 His laws. So every Scout should have religion."
       [BSA Scouting Handbook, first edition]
%
"...Any organization could profit from a 10-year-old member with
 enough strength of character to refuse to swear falsely."
     [New York Times editorial, 12/12/93, on the Boy Scouts' refusing
      membership to Mark Welsh, who would not sign a religious oath]
%
"Those that scaped the fire were slaine with the sword; some hewed to peeces,
 others rune throw with their rapiers, so as they were quickly dispatche,
 and very few escaped. It was conceived they thus destroyed about 400 at this
 time. It was a fearful sight to see them thus frying in the fyer, and the
 streams of blood quenching the same, and horrible was the stincke and sente
 there of, but the victory seemed a sweet sacrifice, and they gave the prayers
 thereof to God, who had wrought so wonderfully for them, thus to inclose
 their enemise in their hands, and gave them so speedy a victory over so
 proud and insulting an enimie."
     [William Bradford, "History of the Plymouth Plantation", on the
      massacre of the friendly Pequot Indians by Puritans in 1637;
      their village had been set on fire and 900 men, women, and
      children were slaughtered as they tried to escape the flames.]
%
"The word heretic ought to be a term of honour..."
         [Charles Bradlaugh]
%
"The atheist does not say "there is no God," but he says "I know not what
 you mean by God; I am without idea of God; the word 'God' is to me a sound
 conveying no clear or distinct affirmation." ... The Bible God I deny; the
 Christian God I disbelieve in; but I am not rash enough to say there is no
 God as long as you tell me you are unprepared to define God to me."
          [Charles Bradlaugh, "A Plea for Atheism", 1864]
%
"The Atheist does not say "there is no god", but he says "I do not know what
 you mean by god;  I am without the idea of god;  the word god is to me a
 sound conveying no clear or distinct affirmation.  I do not deny god, because
 I cannot deny that of which I have no conception and the conception of which
 by its affirmer is so imperfect that he is unable to define it to me."
          [Charles Bradlaugh, _National Review_, Nov. 25, 1883]
%
"I cannot follow you Christians; for you try to crawl through your
 life upon your knees, while I stride through mine on my feet."
                   [Charles Bradlaugh]
%
"As an unbeliever, I ask leave to plead that humanity has been a real
 gainer from scepticism, and that the gradual and growing rejection of
 Christianity - like the rejection of the faiths which preceeded it -
 has in fact added, and will add, to man's happiness and well-being."
     [Charles Bradlaugh, "Humanity's Gain from Unbelief," 1889]
%
"Atheists would teach men to be moral now, not because God offers as an
 inducement reward by and by, but because in the virtuous act itself
 immediate good is insured to the doer and the circle surrounding him."
         [Charles Bradlaugh, "A Plea for Atheism", 1864]
%
"If it stood alone it would be almost sufficient to plead asjustification
 for heresy the approach towards equality and liberty for the utterance
 of all opinions achieved because of growing unbelief."
     [Charles Bradlaugh, "Humanity's Gain from Unbelief," 1889]
%
"If special honor is claimed for any, then heresy
 should have it as the truest servitor of humankind."
  [Charles Bradlaugh, speech in London, September 25, 1881,
   from James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief]
%
"Oh great, but not necessarily superior, being who dwells beyond this plane of
 existence and who is accessible only through prayer, meditation, or crystals,
 we salute you without thereby acknowledging that you are entitled to greater
 respect than that accorded any other endangered species. We hope to pass
 through your plane of existence at some point on our psychic journey to the
 same exalted status as marine mammals or even snail darters. Moreover, to the
 extent your design for the universe coincides with the U.S. Constitution and
 includes low-cost access to cable, we ask you to provide us our minimum daily
 requirement of essential vitamins and nutrients consistent with FDA
 guidelines, and when judging us be duly mindful or our status as victim, which
 provides full justification for what might appear on superficial examination
 to be felonious. In the same vein, we will endeavor to excuse and forgive those
 who have transgressed against us, with the possible exception of our parents,
 teachers, policemen and clergy about whom we have just resurrected disturbing
 memories.  We ask all this in the name of your prophet --------. (Here on
 alternating weeks substitute names drawn from the consensus of the class. Some
 suggestions for early in the year: L. Ron Hubbard, Ayatollah Khomeini,
 Patricia Ireland, Mike Wallace.)"
      [John F. Bramfeld, a lawyer in Urbana, Ill., as printed in "Wall
       Street Journal" Pg A-18  Thurs, Jan 12, 1995, contemplating what
       would happen to school prayer after it was filtered through the
       apparatus of politically correct educrats.]
%
"The world presents enough problems if you believe it to be a world of law
 and order; do not add to them by believing it to be a world of miracles."
          [U.S. Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis]
%
"In any culture, subculture, or family in which belief is valued
 above thought, and self-surrender is valued above self-expression,
 and conformity is valued above integrity, those who preserve their
 self-esteem are likely to be heroic exceptions."
     [Nathaniel Branden, _The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem_,
      Bantam Books, (New York, 1994), p. 296]
%
"If, in any culture, children are taught, 'We are all equally
 unworthy in the sight of God' -

"If, in any culture, children are taught, 'You are born in sin
 and are sinful by nature' -

"If children are given a message that amounts to 'Don't think,
 don't question, *believe*' -

"If children are given a message that amounts to 'Who are you to
 place your mind above that of the priest, the minister, the rabbi?' -

"If children are told, 'If you have value it is not because of anything
 you have done or could ever do, it is only because God loves you' -

"If children are told, 'Submission to what you cannot understand
 is the beginning of morality' -

"If children are instructed, 'Do not be "willful", self-assertiveness
 is the sin of pride' -

"If children are instructed, 'Never think that you belong to yourself' -

"If children are informed, 'In any clash between your judgement and that
 of your religious authorities, it is your authorities you must believe', -

"If children are informed, 'Self-sacrifice is the foremost
 virtue and the noblest duty' -

"- then *consider what will be the likely consequences for the
    practice of living consciously, or the practice of self-assertiveness,
    or any of the other pillars of healthy self-esteem*."

       [Nathaniel Branden, _The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem_,
        Bantam Books, (New York, 1994), p. 295-296]
%
"Whether one believes in a God, and whether one believes we are God's children,
 is irrelevant to the issue of what self-esteem requires.  Let us imagine that
 there is a God and that we are his/her/its children.  In this respect, then,
 we are all equal.  Does it follow that everyone is or should be equal in
 self-esteem, regardless of whether anyone lives consciously or unconsciously,
 responsibly or irresponsibly, honestly or dishonestly?  Earlier in this book
 we saw that this is impossible.  There is no way for our mind to avoid
 registering the choices we make in the way we operate and no way for our
 sense of self to remain unaffected.  If we are children of God, the question
 remains: What are we going to do about it?  What are we going to make of it?
 Will we honor our gifts or betray them?  If we betray ourselves and our
 powers, if we live mindlessly, purposelessly, and without integrity, can
 we buy our way out, can we acquire self-esteem, by claiming to be God's
 relatives?  Do we imagine we can thus relieve ourselves of personal
 responsiblity?
        [Nathaniel Branden, _The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem_,
         Bantam Books, (New York, 1994), p. 108-109]
%
"Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts
 every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion."
         [Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D. Psychologist,
          author The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem]
%
"You go back and tell Brigham Young that I'll give up the Lord's
 money when he sends me a receipt signed by the Lord, and no sooner."
     [Sam Brannan, as quoted in "California Saints" p. 153]
%
"My response to the statement that AIDS is God's punishment
 against homosexuals is that in that case, God has very bad aim."
                    [David Bratman]
%
"Answer Just one question for me. Assume I am the leader on a country.  I
 invade a neighboring country and conquer it.  I order all the men killed.
 I order all the boys killed.  I have all the women checked for virginity,
 those that aren't I have killed.  The remaining virgin girl children I
 split up and let my soldiers do to them what they will, keeping a good
 portion of the best looking ones for my own use." The question is:  Under
 what circumstances would it be good and moral to do the above?   And the
 answer is:  Because God commanded it. I'm sure you are hoping for another
 holy war, so you can finally get laid."
                 ["Johnny Bravo", on alt.atheism]
%
"Entering the city [Jerusalem, July 15, 1099], our pilgrims pursued and killed
 Saracens up to the Temple of Solomon, in which they had assembled and where
 they gave battle to us furiously for the whole day so that their blood flowed
 throughout the whole temple.  Finally, having overcome the pagans, our
 knights seized a great number of men and women, and the killed whom they
 wished and whom they wished they let live....  Then, rejoicing and weeping
 from extreme joy, our men went to worship at the sepulchre of jour Saviour
 Jesus and thus fulfilled their pledge to Him....  They also ordered that all
 the Saracen dead should be thrown out of the city because of the extreme
 stench, for the city was almost full of their cadavers.  The live Saracens
 dragged the dead out before the gates and made piles of them, like houses.
 No one has ever heard of or seen such a slaughter of pagan peoples since
 pyres were made of them like boundary marks, and no one except God knows
 their number."
       [Histoire anonyme de la premiere croisade, L. Brehier, ed.
        Paris:  Champion, 1924 (From The Portable Medieval Reader,
        Ed. James Bruce Ross and Mary Martin McLaughlin)]
%
"But in what sense can [the United States] be called a Christian nation?
 Not in the sense that Christianity is the established religion or the
 people are compelled in any manner to support it. On the contrary, the
 Constitution specifically provides that 'congress shall make no law
 respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise
 thereof.' Neither is it Christian in the sense that all its citizens are
 either in fact or in name Christians. On the contrary, all religions have
 free scope within its borders. Numbers of our people profess other
 religions, and many reject all.  Nor is it Christian in the sense that a
 profession of Christianity is a condition of holding office or otherwise
 engaging in public service, or essential to recognition either politically
 or socially.  In fact, the government as a legal organization is independent
 of all religions."
  [Justice David Brewer, "The United States: A Christian Nation", 1905.
   Brewer is famous for his remarks in the non-legally binding Obiter Dictum
   from the 1892 Holy Trinity Church v. U.S. decision which states that "this
   is a Christian nation", frequently cited as "proof" by groups seeking to
   amend the Constitution to endorse Christianity.  Brewer wrote this to
   clarify his position regarding the law.  From "Why the Christian Right Is
   Wrong about Separation of Church & State." by Robert Boston, pg. 84-85]
%
"No myth of miraculous creation is so
 marvelous as the face of man's evolution."
   [Robert Briffault (1876-1948)
    "Rational Education",1930]
%
"I find homosexuality disgustingly disturbing. This calls God
 and his designs into question. I feel a strong sense of fear
 for anyone who questions God's designs."
      [Arizona State Rep. Debra Brimhall (R-Snowflake)
       quoted in Arizona Republic, Feb. 4, 1999]
%
"There is no faith, however respectable, no interest, however
 legitimate, which must not accommodate itself to the progress
 of human knowledge and bend before truth."
                        [Paul Broca]
%
"If God dislikes gay so much, how come he picked Michaelangelo,
 a known homosexual, to paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling while
 assigning Anita to go on TV and push orange juice?"
               [Greg R. Broderick]
%
"Rationalism is the explanation of the world as human adventure, and it is
 not less human because it is an intellectual adventure--it is more human.
 Why do those who belittle science always behave as if the mind were the
 least human of our gifts? The inquiring mind is the godhead of man."
                        [Joseph Bronowski]
%
"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to
 explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy."
         [David Brooks, "The Necessity of Atheism"]
%
"There is no stopping the world's tendency to throw off imposed restraints,
 the religious authority that is based on the ignorance of the many, the
 political authority that is based on the knowledge of the few."
         [Van Wyck Brooks, The Nation, 14 August 1954]
%
"I hope you don't like my posts...that is the intent!"
  [Brother Orchid, demonstrating how to be christian]
%
"The pursuit of happiness belongs to us, but we
 must climb around or over the church to get it."
       [Heywood Broun (1888-1939)]
%
"God, as some cynic has said, is always on
 the side which has the best football coach."
           [Heywood Broun]
%
"Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship,
 kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging from a wooden apparatus
 by a series of gruesome body piercings, and engage in their bizarre
 practices of ritualized blood-drinking and cannibalism without being
 assaulted by graphic images of attractive young women with bare breasts."
        [A. Whitney Brown, "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central]
%
"I do not see how anyone could come fresh to the Bible and see any regard
 for human life at all in the early parts. From the extermination of every
 living thing outside the ark to the ethnic cleansing of the promised land,
 the story is one of utter disregard to human life except when it suits God's
 purposes..... it does not license anyone to preach on the excellence of the
 Ten Commandments asa sort of constitution document for modern society."
             [Andrew Brown, religious correspondent for
              the Independent, a national UK paper]
%
"If the Bible is mistaken in telling us where we came from,
 how can we trust it to tell us where we're going?"
                 [Justin Brown]
%
"My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity.
 All those women out there are praying for a
 man, and I'm giving them my share."
          [Rita Mae Brown]
%
"There are many extraordinary tales from antiquity, including women with snakes
 for hair, creatures whose gaze turns you to stone, creatures with equine
 bodies and human torsos, many accounts of people rising from the dead, lots of
 tales of magic, and numerous accounts of physical encounters with fantastic
 beings. Ancient people were a superstitious, scientifically primitive lot,
 and believed in many things that today we know are silly. I find it bizarre
 that so many people see nothing suspicious about the extraordinary or
 supernatural claims of the bible, yet don't hesitate to express disbelief in
 equally well documented claims of minotaurs, basilisks, and wizards."
                         [Scott Brown]
%
"There's nothing shameful in acknowledging that you don't have the answers
 to every question about life.  Just accept the fact that you know only a
 fraction of what's going on in the world.  You don't have to attach
 explanations in terms of a special revelation of God's will, a glimpse
 at the supernatural, evidence of a conspiracy, or anything else."
             [Harry Browne, "How I Found Freedom in an
              Unfree World", Avon Books, 1973, p. 151]
%
"I have ever believed, and do now know, that there are witches; they
 that doubt them do not only deny them, but [all] spirits, and are
 obliquely and upon consequence a sort, not of infidels, but of atheists."
           [Sir Thomas Browne, "Religio Medici"]
%
"If Jesus had been killed 20 years ago, Catholic school children would be
 wearing little Electric Chairs around their necks instead of crosses"
                         [Lenny Bruce]
%
"He is a born again christian. The trouble is,
 he suffered brain damage during rebirth."
            [Lenny Bruce]
%
"Morality becomes hypocrisy if it means accepting mothers
 suffering or dying in connection with unwanted pregnancies and
 illegal abortions--and unwanted children living in misery."
  [Gro Harlem Brundtland, at the Cairo population conference]
%
"It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses
 or majority, merely because the majority is the majority.  Truth does not
 change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.
          [Giordano Bruno (1548-burned at the stake,1600)]
%
"You pronounce sentence upon me with greater fear than I receive it."
            [Giordano Bruno to his inquisitors]
%
"Who so itcheth to Philosophy must set to
 work by putting all things to doubt."
  [Giordano Bruno, "The Threefold Leas and
   Measure of the Three Speculative Sciences
   and the Principle of Many Practical Arts"]
%
"A pious man is one who would be an atheist if the king were."
            [Jean de La Bruy re (1645-1696)]
%
"If we have to give up either religion or education,
 we should give up education."
        [William Jennings Bryan]
%
"All the ills from which America suffers can be traced to the
 teaching of evolution."
              [William Jennings Bryan]
%
"If the Bible had said that Jonah swallowed the whale, I would believe it."
                [William Jennings Bryan]
%
"The parents have a right to say that no teacher paid by their money shall
 rob their children of faith in God and send them back to their homes
 skeptical, or infidels, or agnostics, or atheists."
  [William Jennings Bryan, testifying at the Scopes trial, July 16, 1925]
%
"As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically
 reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children."
                  [Anita Bryant, 1977]
%
"The atheist staring from his attic window is
 often nearer to God than the believer caught
 up in his own false image of God."
            [Martin Buber]
%
"An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support."
          [John Buchan (1875-1940)
           British author, statesman]
%
"Who are beneficiaries of the Court's protection? Members of various
 minorities including criminals, atheists, homosexuals, flag burners,
 illegal immigrants (including terrorists), convicts, and pornographers."
          [US Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, Address
           to the Heritage Foundation, January 29, 1996]
%
"And how can we ever again succeed in educating children to become
 moral men and women if, in America's public schools, we consciously
 deny them all religious instruction, and deny them access to that
 primary source of morality, God's own word. The Bible is the one book
 from which they are expressly not allowed to be taught."
         [US Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan,
          "The City and The Crusade", Commencement
          Address for Christendom College, May 6, 1996]
%
"What's the Christian-bashing all about? Simple- a struggle for the
 soul of America is under way, a struggle to determine whose views,
 values, beliefs and standards will serve as the basis of law."
         [US Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan,
          Washington Times, June 15, 1995]
%
"And it is, I am persuaded, not some deep-seated love of the downtrodden
 Xhosa or Zulu that has caused America's press and clergy to insist upon
 the most severe of sanctions upon South Africa. (After all, Ndebele, Hutu,
 Tutsi, Ibo and countless tribal peoples have been massacred in far greater
 numbers in modern Africa, without a peep of protest from these same sources.)

 The spirit driving the anti-apartheid coalition worldwide is not love at
 all; it is hatred, and not just hatred of apartheid, but hatred of the Boer,
 hatred of Botha, his party and people, hatred of the 19th century idea they
 embody - the idea that the Christian West, because of the superiority of
 its values and the civilization those values produced, has an inherent
 right to rule over other peoples."
               [Patrick J. Buchanan. "Why has Appeal
                of Communism Endured for So Many?"]
%
"In a GQ profile of Pat Buchanan, journalist John Judis asks the presidential
 candidate his views about teaching creationism in school.  'Look, my view is,
 I believe God created heaven and earth,' said Buchanan.  'I think this: What
 ought to be taught as fact is what is known as fact.  I don't believe it is
 demonstrably true that we have descended from apes.  I don't believe it.  I
 do not believe all that."
      [Leah Garchik, San Francisco Chronicle, 27 November 1995]
%
"Our culture is superior.  Our culture is superior because our
 religion is Christianity and that is the truth that makes men free."
    [US Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, speech to the Christian
     Coalition, Sept. 1993, as reported in ADL Report, 1994]
%
"We need to do more than win an election or win the House or
 win the presidency, my friends: we need to make this beloved
 country of ours God's country once again."
      [Pat Buchanan at the Christian Coalition 1995
       Road to Victory Conference, as reported in
       the October 1995 issue of Church and State]
%
"Education must be founded upon knowledge, not upon faith; and religion
 itself should be taught in the public schools only as religious history..."
    [Friederich Buchner, "Man in the Past, Present, and Future"]
%
"Therefore man does not stand outside or above
 nature, but wholly and thoroughly in her midst..."
     [Ludwig Buchner, "Force and Matter"]
%
"I thank heaven for a man like Adolf Hitler, who built a front
 line of defense against the anti-Christ of Communism."
      [Frank Buchman (1878-1961), U.S. evangelist.
       New York World-Telegram (25 Aug. 1936)]
%
"I feel no need for any other faith than my faith in human beings.
 Like Confucius of old, I am so absorbed in the wonder of earth and
 the life upon it that I cannot think of heaven and the angels."
                  [Pearl S. Buck]
%
"Be born anywhere, little embryo novelist, but do not be
 born under the shadow of a great creed, not under the
 burden of original sin, not under the doom of Salvation."
     [Pearl S. Buck, Advice to Unborn Novelists]
%
"That the system of morals expounded in the New Testament contained no
 maxim which had not been previously enunciated, and that some of the most
 beautiful passages in the apostolic writings are quotations from Pagan
 authors, is well known to every scholar.... To assert that Christianity
 communicated to man moral truths previously unknown, argues on the part
 of the asserted either gross ignorance or wilful fraud."
   [Henry Thomas Buckle, "History of Civilization," Vol. I, p. 129]
%
"As long as men refer the movements of the comets to the immediate finger
 of God, and as long as they believe that an eclipse is one of the modes
 by which the deity expresses his anger, they will never be guilty of the
 blasphemous presumption of attempting to predict such supernatural
 appearances.  Before they could dare to investigate the causes of these
 mysterious phenomena, it is necessary that they should believe, or at all
 events that they should suspect, that the phenomena themselves were capable
 of being explained by the human mind."
       [Buckle, "History of Civilization," vol. I, p. 345]
%
"If you can impress any man with an absorbing conviction of the supreme
 importance of some moral or religious doctrine; if you can make him
 believe that those who reject that doctrine are doomed to eternal
 perdition; if you then give that man power, and by means of his
 ignorance blind him to the ulterior consequences of his own act,-he
 will infallibly persecute those who deny his doctrine."
    [Henry Thomas Buckle, "History of Civilization in England"]
%
"Be not misled by reports or tradition or common opinion.  Be not misled by
 proficiency in the scriptures, nor by speculation and conclusions, nor by
 attractive theories and favorite ideas, nor by impressions of personal merits
 (of the teacher) and not by the authority of some master.  But rather,
 Kalamas, when you discern yourselves:  these things are unprofitable, these
 things are blameworthy, these things are censured by the wise; these things,
 when performed and undertaken are conducive to misfortune and sorrow, indeed
 do you then reject them."

"...And when you discern yourselves: these things are profitable, these things
 are not blameworthy, these things are praised by the wise; these things, when
 performed and undertaken are conducive to good fortune and happiness, indeed
 do you then accept them."
               [G. Buddha, from the Anguttara Nikaya]
%
"Believe nothing, O monks, merely because you have been told it ... or
 because it is traditional, or because you yourselves have imagined it.
 Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for
 the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you
 find to be conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings
 -- that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide."
   [Buddha [Siddhartha Gautama] (?563-?483 BCE), founder of Buddhism]
%
"Believe not because some old manuscripts are produced, believe not
 because it is your national belief, believe not because you have
 been made to believe from your childhood, but reason truth out, and
 after you have analyzed it, then if you find it will do good to one
 and all, believe it, live up to it and help others to live up to it."
                          [Buddha]
%
"Xianity: the braindead, educating the clueless on how to show the
 blind how to tell the mute how to witness to the deaf so they can
 galvanize the paraplegic into lifelong slavery to a non-existent god"
                 ["Budikka", on alt.atheism]
%
"Jesus Christ:  A common exclamation indicating surprise,
                disgust, anger or bewilderment."
     [Chaz Bufe, The American Heretic's Dictionary]
%
"Agnostic, n. A person who feels superior to atheists by merit
         of his ignorance of the rules of logic and evidence."
     [Chaz Bufe, The American Heretic's Dictionary]
%
"Fundamentalist, n.  One in whom something is fundamentally wrong - most
   commonly lack of reasoning ability and vicious intolerance toward those
   not sharing the fundamentalist's delusions.  Thus, fundamentalists are
   especially intolerant of those able to draw obvious conclusions from
   observed facts, those who refuse to seek shelter in comforting falsehoods,
   and those who wish to lead their own lives.  Members of the fundamentalist
   subspecies known as "Slack-Jawed Drooling Idiots" have been known to give
   so much of their income to "electronic churches" that they subsist on Alpo
   at the end of the month.  In herds, fundamentalists are about as useful to
   society as wandering bands of baboons brandishing machetes."
         [Charles Bufe "The American Heretic's Dictionary"]
%
"Religion, religion.  Oh, there's a fine line
 between Saturday night and Sunday morning...
 Where's the church, who took the steeple,
 Religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people,
 Television preachers with bad hair and dimples,
 The God's honest truth is, it's not that simple."
        ["Fruitcakes", Jimmy Buffett]
%
"Armies of Bible scholars and theologians have for centuries
 found respected employment devising artful explanations of
 the Bible often not really meaning what it says."
     [J. S. Bullion, Jr., U.S. freethinker, writer]
%
"The attack on the peasant economy was accompanied by a fierce campaign
 against the Orthodox Church, the center of traditional peasant culture,
 which was seen by the Stalinist leadership as one of the main obstacles
 to collectivization."
  [Alan Bullock, "Hitler and Stalin: Parallel Lives" (Alfred A. Knopf,
   1992, ISBN 0-394-58601-8), p. 264, in the chapter "Stalin's Revolution",
   showing that Stalin's motivation for destroying churches was because
   of their threat to his political plans and not communistic "atheism"]
%
"Of greater significance was the reconciliation with the Russian Orthodox
 Church, the traditional bastion of Russian nationalism and the tsarist
 regime, which now became associated with the cult of Stalin and resumed
 its role as a state church."
   [Alan Bullock, "Hitler and Stalin: Parallel Lives" (Alfred A. Knopf,
    1992, ISBN 0-394-58601-8), chapter, "Stalin's New Order," pp 906-907,
    on Stalin's wartime reconciliation with the church, showing that the
    the "atheism" of the communist party had nothing to do with the
    treatment accorded religions or the religious during Stalin's regime]
%
"We have an *eclectic* tradition in the United States... Christians of
 various stripes are part of this, as are humanists and agnostics, but
 this does not make the United States a Christian nation or even a Judeo-
 Christian one.  We are a mixed accumulation of our past, and it is the
 Christian dogmatists, not the secularists, who are the major threat to
 our pluralistic democratic tradition."
              [Vern Bullough, "Do We Have a Judeo-
               Christian Heritage?" in Free Inquiry]
%
"It's called faith.  Faith is believing something
 that no one in his right mind would believe."
  [Archie Bunker, "All in the Family" sitcom by Norman Lear,
   replying to Michael's questioning why God would tell women
   that they should go forth and multiply and then prohibit
   pain killers in child birth]
%
"God and Country are an unbeatable team; they
 break all records for oppression and bloodshed."
             [Luis Buquel]
%
"If someone were to prove to me-right this minute-that God, in all his
 luminousness, exists, it wouldn't change a single aspect of my behavior."
           [Luis Buquel (1900-1983), Spanish filmmaker.
            My Last Sigh, ch. 15 (1983)]
%
"The idea that a good God would send people to a burning Hell is utterly
 damnable to me.  The ravings of insanity!  Superstition gone to seed!
 I don't want to have anything to do with such a God.  No avenging
 Jewish God, no satanic devil, no fiery hell is of any interest to me."
             [Luther Burbank, address to Science
              League of San Francisco, Dec. 1924]
%
"All my work in the field of science and research has come through a change
 in my earlier opinions on religion.  Growth is the law of life.  Orthodoxy
 is the death of scientific effort."
        [Luther Burbank, from "Burbank the Infidel" by Joseph Lewis]
%
"Do not feed children on maudlin sentimentalism or dogmatic religion; give
 them nature... Do not terrify them in early life with the fear of an after-
 world.  Never was a child made more noble and good by the fear of a hell."
       [Luther Burbank, "The Training of the Human Plant," 1907]
%
"Most people's religion is what they want to believe, not what they
 do believe.  And very few of them stop to examine its foundations."
    [Luther Burbank quoted by Edgar Waite, also in "2000 Years
     of Disbelief, Famous People with the Courage to Doubt",
     by James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"Those who take refuge behind theological barbed wire fences, quite often
 wish they could have more freedom of thought, but fear the change to the
 great ocean of scientific truth as they would a cold bath plunge."
        [Luther Burbank, "Why I Am an Infidel," 1926]
%
"I have learned from Nature that dependence on unnatural beliefs
 weakens us in the struggle and shortens our breath for the race."
                    [Luther Burbank]
%
"The time has come for honest men to denounce
 false teachers and attack false gods."
          [Luther Burbank]
%
"Science, unlike theology, never leads to insanity."
   [Luther Burbank as quoted by Joseph McCabe]
%
"This should be enough for one who lives for truth and service
 to his fellow passengers on the way. No avenging Jewish God,
 no satanic devil, no fiery hell is of any interest to me."
                  [Luther Burbank]
%
"The scientist is a lover of truth for the very
 love of truth itself, wherever it may lead."
           [Luther Burbank]
%
"Let us read the Bible without the ill-fitting colored spectacles
 of theology, just as we read other books, using our own judgment
 and reason, listening to the voice within, not to the noisy babel
 without. Most of us possess discriminating reasoning powers. Can
 we use them or must we be fed by others like babes?"
                  [Luther Burbank]
%
"Prayer may be elevating if combined with work, and they who
 labor with head, hands or feet have faith and are generally
 quite sure of an immediate and favorable reply."
        [Luther Burbank quoted by Joseph Lewis]
%
"Nature is not personal. She is the compound of all these processes which
 move through the universe to effect the results we know as Life and of
 all the ordinances which govern that universe and that make Life continuous.
 She is no more the Hebrew's Jehovah than she is the Physicist's Force; she
 is as much Providence as she is Electricity; she is not the Great Pattern
 any more than she is the Blind Chance."
                             [Luther Burbank]
%
"I do not believe what has been served to me to believe.
 I am a doubter, a questioner, a skeptic."
                [Luther Burbank]
%
"However, when it can be proved to me that there is immortality,
 that there is resurrection beyond the gates of death, then will
 I believe. Until then, no."
         [Luther Burbank quoted by Edgar Waite]
%
"Religion grows with the intelligence of man, but all religions of the
 past and probably all of the future will sooner or later become petrified
 forms instead of living helps to mankind. Until that time comes, however,
 if religion of any name or nature makes man more happy, comfortable, and
 able to live peaceably with his brothers, it is good."
                          [Luther Burbank]
%
"But as a scientist I cannot help feeling that all religions are on
 a tottering foundation. None is perfect or inspired. As for their
 prophets, there are as many today as ever before, only now science
 refuses to let them overstep the bounds of common sense."
                     [Luther Burbank]
%
"The idea that a good God would send people to a burning hell is utterly
 damnable to me. I don't want to have anything to do with such a God. But
 while I cannot conceive of such a God, I do recognize the existence of a
 great universal power -- a power which we cannot even begin to comprehend
 and might as well not attempt to. It may be a conscious mind, or it may
 not. I don't know. As a scientist I should like to know, but as a man,
 I am not so vitally concerned."
                      [Luther Burbank]
%
"As for Christ -- well, he has been most outrageously belied. His followers,
 like those of many scientists and literary men, have so garbled his words
 and conduct that many of them no longer apply to present life. Christ was
 a wonderful psychologist. He was an infidel of his day because he rebelled
 against the prevailing religions and government. I am a lover of Christ as
 a man, and his work and all things that help humanity, but nevertheless
 just as he was an infidel then, I am an infidel today."
              [Luther Burbank quoted by Edgar Waite]
%
"If a person's personal religious beliefs are sacred, they
 should not be peddled door-to-door like Girl Scout Cookies."
                [Marilyn Burge]
%
"The language of the Religion Clauses of the First Amendment is at best opaque,
 particularly when compared with other portions of the Amendment.  Its authors
 did not simply prohibit the establishment of a state church or a state
 religion, an area history shows they regarded as very important and fraught
 with great dangers.  Instead they commanded that there should be "no law
 respecting an establishment of religion."  A law "respecting" the proscribed
 result, that is, the establishment of religion, is not always easily
 identifiable as one violative of the Clause.  A given law might not establish
 a state religion but nevertheless be one "respecting" that end in the sense
 of being a step that could lead to such establishment and hence offend
 the First Amendment."
               [Chief Justice Warren Burger, writing for
                the majority in Lemon v. Kurtzman, 1971]
%
"It is hard to say whether the doctors of law or divinity have
 made the greater advances in the lucrative business of mystery."
    [Edmund Burke, A Vindication of Natural Society, 1757]
%
"Bertrand Russell viewed faith as, on the whole, contemptible.  If religious
 persons were honest and rational, they would not be religious--with that I
 agree.  But I'm not certain that it's always the fault of the believer that
 he cannot abandon his absurd fairytales and fables.  I often view the
 religious person not with scorn, but with pity--with the same pity that one
 would regard a heroin addict or a delusional psychotic.  There comes an odd
 sinking in my stomach when someone confesses to me his faith, as if he'd
 just told me he was ill with a terminal disease."
               [J. S. Burke, "Why Religion Persists"]
%
"It must be admitted that so-called evangelical scholars aren't out to
 seek any kind of historical truth about the New Testament; rather, they
 are out to justify their narrow literalist interpretations... but in the
 light of scholarship more careful and critical than theirs, they should
 rightly come to grief, as I did when I first sought to justify my former
 Christian beliefs with examination of the scriptures.  Almost without
 exception, they confuse second-hand accounts with first-hand accounts,
 and mere tradition with the pronouncements of apostles.  Many uncritically
 accept any word of the Church Fathers that could possibly be construed
 to support their view.  _Ad hoc_ defines evangelical musings on the New
 Testament, and I have good doubts about the honesty of anyone who takes
 their talk seriously."
       [J. S. Burke, "An Examination of the Wellsian Thesis"]
%
"In Biblical terms, my biggest sin is answering the fool. I debate
 creationists, evangelical 'scholars', and assorted theists who declare
 that _their_ version of the ontological argument works."
                [J. S. Burke, Usenet post]
%
"If members of the early Christian church ever came into
 contact with any Christian living today, each side would,
 no doubt, condemn the other as heretical."
        [J. S. Burke, "Why Religion Persists"]
%
"The popular notion that witches were burned is quite false.  In fact, no
 witches were burned at any time in Salem or anywhere else in America.  Nor
 were witches by any means all women; in fact, they were not all even human
 beings.  Two dogs were actually put to death in Salem for 'witchcraft.'
 The means of execution in all cases, including the unfortunate dogs, was by
 hanging, with one exception: an old man named Giles Corey. ...Corey's death
 was by 'pressing'; heavy stones were placed upon his chest in an attempt to
 force him to plead [he protected his kin by refusing to plead either way].
 ...Nor was the witchcraft hysteria confined to Salem; Andover, Massachusetts,
 was caught up in it before the affair had run its course, and at least one
 witch was found in Maine.  Salem was not, as a matter of fact, even the first
 to hang a witch.  An old woman in Boston had confessed to witchcraft and been
 hanged in 1688, four years before the first execution in Salem."
        [Tom Burnam, The Dictionary of Misinformation, 1975]
%
"Why has a religious turn of mind always a
 tendancy to narrow and harden the heart?"
         [Robert Burns]
%
"God knows, I'm not the thing I should be,
 Nor am I even the thing I could be,
 But twenty times I rather would be
 An atheist clean,
 Than under gospel colours hid be
 Just a screen."
     [Robert Burns, "Epistle
      to the Rev. John McMath]
%
"Her people had no gods, only devils - which answer just as good
 a purpose among the ignorant and superstitious as do gods among
 the educated and superstitious."
     [Edgar Rice Burroughs, "Tarzan and the Ant Men"]
%
"Everyone was fooled except Obebe, who was old and wise and did not
 believe in river devils, and the witch doctor who was old and wise
 and did not believe in them either, but realized that they were
 excellent things for his parishioners to believe in."
       [Edgar Rice Burroughs, "Tarzan and the Ant Men"]
%
"Science has done more for the development of western civilization in
 one hundred years than Christianity did in eighteen hundred years."
         [John Burroughs (1837-1921)
          American naturalist, _The Light of Day_]
%
"Man is, and always has been, a maker of gods. It has been the most
 serious and significant occupation of his sojourn in the world."
                     [John Burroughs]
%
"It is always easier to believe than to deny.
 Our minds are naturally affirmative."
          [John Burroughs]
%
"When I look up into the starry heavens at night and reflect upon what
 it is I really see there, I am constrained to say, 'there is no god'."
         [John Burroughs (1837-1921)
          American naturalist, _The Light of Day_]
%
"Science makes no claim to infallibility; it
 leaves that claim to be made by theologians."
   [John Burroughs (1837-1921), from Thomas
    S. Vernon, Great Infidels, M&M Press, 1989]
%
"In fact they recapitulate the story of Christianity word for word, like the
 inevitable course of some unsightly disease: criminal ignorance, brutish
 stupidity, self-righteous bigotry, paranoid fear of outsiders. For the
 cultist, psychiatrists, the media, Government agencies have become Satan
 incarnate.  Like the fundamental Christians, they have to be _right_."
                      [William S. Burroughs]
%
"If you're gonna do business with a religious son of a bitch..
 GET IT IN WRITING. His word ain't worth shit, not with the good
 Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal"
             [William S. Burroughs, from the CD
              "Spare Ass Annie and Other Tales"]
%
"Now Christianity sounded good at first to the naive convert. Love,
 peace, and charity - what's wrong with that? I'll tell you what's
 wrong - a series of unprecedented horrors perpetrated by so called
 Christians: The Inquisition, the Conquistadors, the American Indian
 wars, slavery, Hiroshima and the present-day Bible Belt."
                  [William S. Burroughs]
%
"Any belief in Creators or Purpose is wishful thinking. And when you point
 out that perhaps ALL thinking is wishful, reactions of intense irritation
 give evidence that we are not dealing with logic but with faith."
                    [William S. Burroughs]
%
"I think there are innumerable gods. What we on earth call God is
 a little tribal God who has made an awful mess. Certainly forces
 operating through human consciousness control events."
      [William S. Burroughs. Interview in Writers at Work
       (Third Series, ed. by George Plimpton, 1967)]
%
"The more I study religions the more I am convinced
 that man never worshipped anything but himself"
          [Sir Richard F. Burton]
%
"There is no Heaven, there is no Hell;
 These are the dreams of baby minds;
 Tools of the wily Fetisheer,
 To fright the fools his cunning blinds."
  [Richard Francis Burton, The Kasidah]
%
"One religion is as true as another."
   [Robert Burton (1577-1640),
    The Anatomy of Melancholy]
%
"It is a common saying that thought is free.  A man can never be hindered from
 thinking whatever he chooses so long as he conceals what he thinks.  The
 working of his mind is limited only by the bounds of his experience and the
 power of his imagination.  But this natural liberty of private thinking is of
 little value.  It is unsatisfactory and even painful to the thinker himself,
 if he is not permitted to communicate his thoughts to others, and it is
 obviously of no value to his neighbors.  Moreover it is extremely difficult
 to hide thoughts that have any power over the mind.  If a man's thinking leads
 him to call in question ideas and customs which regulate the behaviour of
 those about him, to reject the beliefs which they hold, to see better ways of
 life than those they follow, it is almost impossible for him, if he is
 convinced of the truth of his own reasoning, not to betray by silence, chance
 words, or general attitude that he is different from them and does not share
 their opinions.  Some have preferred, like Socrates, some would prefer today,
 to face death rather than conceal their thoughts.  Thus freedom of thought,
 in any valuable sense, includes freedom of speech."
           [J. B. Bury, "A History of Freedom of Thought", 1913]
%
"[T]he ideal of progress, freedom of thought, and
  the decline of ecclesiastical power go together."
   [J. B. Bury, "A History of Freedom of Thought," 1913, from
    Menendez and Doerr, The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom]
%
"No, I don't know that Atheists should be considered as citizens, nor
 should they be considered as patriots.  This is one nation under God."
        [Republican Presidential Nominee George Bush, 1987
         to reporter Rob Sherman at Chicago's O'Hare airport]
%
"Abraham Lincoln said he couldn't handle the job except on his knees.
 Have you found recourse to God in prayer often in your presidency?"

"You have to. I don't believe that an atheist could be President of the
 United States - anybody that did not have something bigger than himself
 or herself. And faith is the answer, and I've said this to friends. To some
 degree religion for me has been a private thing. But I can tell you that
 when the going is tough, and even when it's not - in our family we say our
 prayers. We say our prayers at meals and we say our prayers when we go to
 bed. Barbara and I do. But it's something that the more I'm there, the
 more I understood what Lincoln meant."
    [President George Bush, in a August 27, 1992 "700 Club" interview]
%
"I don't think witchcraft is a religion. I would hope the military
 officials would take a second look at the decision they made."
   [Texas Governor George W. Bush, on the US military's
    decision to allow Wiccans at Fort Hood to practice
    their religion, Good Morning America show, June 24, 1999]
%
"Therefore, I, George W. Bush, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim
 June 10, 2000, Jesus Day in Texas and urge the appropriate recognition
 whereof,
     In official recognition whereof,
     I hereby affix my signature this
     17th day of April, 2000."
  [Texas Governor George W. Bush, "Jesus Day 2000" Proclamation]
%
       "Our priorities is our faith."
[George W. Bush, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000]
%
"Our new faith-based laws have removed government as
 a roadblock to people of faith who hear the call."
       [George W. Bush, September, 2000]
%
"Awe is a large flower, but a short-lived one. Besides, when God cracks
 a joke or two and clearly hopes you'll ask him over for a drink, you
 lose respect. If God wants worship, he'd better stay lonely. If he
 wants love, he'll have to eat shit with the rest of us."
              [Jack Butler, "Nightshade", p. 107]
%
"God:" The word that comes after "go-cart."
 [Samuel Butler (1835-1902), English author]
%
"An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have
 heard one side of the case.  God has written all the books."
               [Samuel Butler, "Notebooks"]
%
"It is death, and not what comes after death,
 that men are generally afraid of."
           [Samuel Butler]
%
"As an instrument of warfare against vice, or as a tool
 for making virtue, Christianity is a mere flint implement."
        [Samuel Butler, Note-Books, c. 1890]
%
"Tennyson has said that more things are wrought by prayer than this world
 dreams of, but he has wisely refrained from saying whether they are good
 things or bad things. It might perhaps be as well if the world were to
 dream of, or even become wide awake to, some of the things that are
 being wrought by prayer."
              [Samuel Butler, _The Way of All Flesh_]
%
"Religion is the interest of the churches
 That sell in other worlds in this to purchase."
            [Samuel Butler]
%
"Not only were a good many of the revolutionary leaders more deist than
 Christian, the acutal number of church members was rather small. Perhaps
 as few as five percent of the populace were church members in 1776"
    [Lynn R. Buzzard, Exec Dir of Christian Legal Society, as quoted in
     _They Haven't Got a Prayer_, Elgin IL: David C. Cook, 1982, p. 81]
%
"I fear your Lordship has been reading religious
 publications of the sensational and morbid type."
    [Donn Byrne, "Tale of the Gypsy Horse"]
%
"Believing is easier than thinking. Hence
 so many more believers than thinkers."
          [Bruce Calvert]
%
"God foreordained, for His own glory and the display of His attributes
 of mercy and justice, a part of the human race, without any merit of
 their own, to eternal salvation and another part, in just punishment
 of their sin, to eternal damnation."
     [John Calvin, "Institutes of the Christian Religion," 1536]
%
"We are all made of mud, and as this mud is not just on the hem of our
 gown, or on the sole our boots, or in our shoes.  We are full of it,
 we are nothing but mud and filth both inside and outside."
              [John Calvin, attacking mankind]
%
"We may rest assured that God would never have suffered
 any infants to be slain except those who were already
 damned and predestined for eternal death."
      [John Calvin, rationalizing the slaughter
       of infants in the Old Testament]
%
"No efficiency. No accountability. I tell you,
 Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a universe."
       [Calvin & Hobbes comic]
%
"It's hard to be religious when certain people
 are never incinerated by bolts of lightning."
  [Calvin, "Calvin and Hobes" strip by Bill Waterson]
%
"Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles
 I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it."
                 [Calvin & Hobbes]
%
Calvin:  Do you believe in the devil?  You know, a supreme evil being
         dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?
Hobbes:  I'm not sure that man needs the help.
              [Calvin & Hobbes comic by Bill Waterson]
%
Calvin: Well. I've decided I *do* believe in Santa Claus,
          no matter how preposterous he sounds.
Hobbes: What convinced you?
Calvin: A simple risk analysis. I want presents. *Lots* of presents.
          Why risk not getting them over a matter of belief?  Heck,
          I'll believe anything they want.
Hobbes: How cynically enterprising of you.
Calvin: It's the spirit of Christmas.
            [Calvin & Hobbes comic by Bill Waterson]
%
"It does not pay a prophet to be too specific."
          [L. Sprague de Camp]
%
"There is not one verse in the Bible inhibiting slavery, but
 many regulating it.  It is not then, we conclude, immoral."
             [Rev. Alexander Campbell]
%
"A one sentence definition of mythology?
"Mythology" is what we call someone else's religion."
            [Joseph Campbell]
%
"The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and
 nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they
 can level mountains, and nobody doubts them."
                [Joseph Campbell]
%
"The night of December 25, to which date the Nativity of Christ was
 ultimately assigned, was exactly that of the birth of the Persian savior
 Mithra, who, as an incarnation of eternal light, was born the night of
 the winter solstice (then dated December 25) at midnight, the instant
 of the turn of the year from increasing darkness to light."
      [Joseph Campbell, _The Mythic Image_, Bollingen
       Series C, Princeton University Press, 1981, p. 33]
%
"...god is a metaphor for that which trancends all
 levels of intellectual thought. It's as simple as that"
   [Joseph Campbell, American mythologist (1904-1987)]
%
"Too many of our best scholars, themselves indoctrinated from infancy in a
 religion of one kind or another based upon the Bible, are so locked into
 the idea of their own god as a supernatural fact - something final, not
 symbolic of transcendence, but a personage with a character and will of
 his own - that they are unable to grasp the idea of a worship that is not
 of the symbol but of its reference, which is of a mystery of much greater
 age and of more immediate inward reality than the name-and-form of any
 historical ethnic idea of a deity, whatsoever...and is of a sophistication
 that makes the sentimentalism of our popular Bible-story theology seem
 undeveloped."
       [Joseph Campbell, American mythologist (1904-1987)]
%
"What gods are there, what gods have there ever
 been, that were not from man's imagination?"
  [Joseph Campbell, "Myths to Live By" (1972)]
%
"Creation 'scientists' must be aware that the informed workers in literary
 interpretation and in physical and biological sciences regard their stance
 as irresponsible, and that in the scholarly world as well as in the schools
 they are doing irreparable damage to the Christian cause."
        [Prof. Ken Campbell, Australian National University, in
         St. Mark's Review 137 (Autumn, 1989) (Anglican)]
%
"I don't know whether this world has a meaning which transcends it.
 But I do know that I do not know that meaning and that it is impossible
 for me just now to know it.  What can a meaning outside my condition mean
 to me?  I can understand only in human terms.  What I touch - what resists
 me  - that is what I understand.  And these two certainties - my appetite
 for the  absolute and for unity, and the impossibility of reducing this
 world to a rational and reasonable principle - I also know that I cannot
 reconcile them.  What  other truth can I admit without lying, without
 bringing in a hope I lack and which means nothing within the limits of my
 condition?"
          [Albert Camus (1913-1960), "The Myth of Sisyphus"]
%
"It is a matter of persisting.  At a certain point on his path the absurd
 man is tempted.  History is not lacking in either religions or prophets,
 even without gods.  He is asked to leap.  All he can reply is that he
 doesn't fully understand, that it is not obvious.  Indeed, he does not want
 to do anything but what he fully understands.  He is assured that this is
 the sin of pride, but he does not understand the notion of sin;  that
 perhaps hell is in store, but he has not enough imagination to visualize
 that strange future;  that he is losing immortal life, but that seems to
 him an idle consideration.  An attempt is made to get him to admit his
 guilt.  He feels innocent.  To tell the truth, that is all he feels --
 his irreparable innocence.  This is what allows him everything.  Hence,
 what he demands of himself is to live /solely/ with what he knows, to
 accommodate himself with what is, and to bring in nothing that is not
 certain.  He is told that nothing is.  But this at least is certainty.
 And it is with this that he is concerned:  he wants to find out if it
 is possible to live without /appeal/."
               [Albert Camus, "An Absurd Reasoning"]
%
"If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not
 so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another
 life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life."
        [Albert Camus, "The Myth of Sisyphus"]
%
"Every one who publishes a blasphemous libel is guilty of an indictable
 offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years."
              [Criminal Code of Canada sec. 296(1)]
%
"Most religions do not make men better, only warier."
              [Elias Canetti]
%
"The Lord is not my shepherd
 As I am not a sheep"
       [Peter Canning]
%
"But I don't know a soul who doesn't maintain two separate
 lists of doctrines - the ones that they believe that they
 believe; and the ones that they actually try to live by"
   [Orson Scott Card, Jan. 2001, "Shadow of the Hegemon"]
%
"And by the time they took him, it was too late. To raise Peter and
 Valentine in our faith. If you don't teach children when they're little,
 it's never really inside them. You have to hope they'll come to it later,
 on their own. It can't come from the parents, if you don't begin when
 they're little."
"Indoctrinating them."
"That's what parenting is," said Mrs. Wiggin. "Indoctrinating your
 children in the social patterns that you want them to live by. The
 intellectuals have no qualms about using the schools to indoctrinate
 our children in their foolishness."
      [Orson Scott Card, Jan. 2001, "Shadow of the Hegemon")
%
"U.S. Adults (Gallup): humans didn't evolve, 46 percent; evolution
 guided by God, 40; evolution occurred by itself, 10 percent."
      [Quoted by Adam L. Carley, Free Inquiry, Fall 1994]
%
"The whole of religion has been one uniform curse to the human race..."
             [Richard Carlile, "As to God"]
%
"The enemy with whom I have to grapple is one with whom no peace can be
 made. Idolatry will not parley; superstition will not treat on covenant.
 They must be uprooted for public and individual safety."
                  [Richard Carlisle]
%
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose
 symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood".
             [George Carlin]
%
"We created god in our own image and likeness!"
            [George Carlin]
%
"I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a
 direction where I could trust myself and trust my instincts.  They
 gave me the tools to reject my faith.  They taught me to question and
 think for myself and to believe in my instincts to such an extent
 that I just said, 'This is a wonderful fairy tale they have going here,
 but it's not for me.'"
   [George Carlin, in the _New York Times_ 20 August 1995, pg. 17.
    He attended Cardinal Hayes High School in the Bronx, but left
    during his sophomore year in 1952 and never went back to school.
    Before that he attended a Catholic grammar school, Corpus
    Christi, which he called "an experimental school."]
%
"If churches want to play the game of politics,
 let them pay admission like everyone else"
           [George Carlin]
%
"This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state.
 I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they
 might as well have a nice prayer like this:
   Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands,
 thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day
 as we forgive those who so proudly we hail.  Crown thy good into temptation
 but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming.  Amen and Awomen."
           [George Carlin, on "Saturday Night Live"]
%
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State.
 My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on
 their own, so both of them together is certain death."
                  [George Carlin]
%
"Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the
 sky who watches everything you do.  And there's 10 things he doesn't
 want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of
 fire until the end of eternity.  But he loves you!  ...And he needs
 money!  He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!"
      [George Carlin, on Politically Incorrect, May 29, 1997]
%
"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music."
              [George Carlin, _Brain Droppings_]
%
"I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons.  First of all, unlike
 some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun.  It's there for me every
 day.  And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time:  heat,
 light, food, a lovely day.  There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't
 have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry.  And interestingly enough,
 I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly
 offered to "God" are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate."
                  [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"]
%
"A man came up to me on the street and said "I used to be messed up out of
 my mind on drugs but now I'm messed up out of my mind on Jeeesus Chriiist."
                        [George Carlin]
%
"I have as much authority as the pope, I just
 don't have as many people who believe it."
    [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"]
%
   "Jesus was a cross dresser"
[George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"]
%
"I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior,
 but as a man I intend to borrow money from."
      [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"]
%
"Instead of school busing and prayer in schools, which are both controversial,
 why not a joint solution?  Prayer in buses.  Just drive these kids around all
 day and let them pray their fuckn' empty little heads off."
               [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"]
%
"When it comes to BULLSHIT...BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT...
 you have to stand IN AWE, IN AWE of the all time champion of
  false promises and exaggerated claims, religion."
                 [George Carlin]
%
"Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about
 it, religion has actually convinced people that there's an INVISIBLE
 MAN...LIVING IN THE SKY...who watches every thing you do, every minute
 of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten special things
 that he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things,
 he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture
 and anguish where he will send to live and suffer and burn and choke and
 scream and cry for ever and ever 'til the end of time...but he loves you."
                 [George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"]
%
"I want you to know, when it comes to believing in god- I really tried. I
 really really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created
 each one of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much and
 keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta
 tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you
 realize...something is FUCKED-UP. Something is WRONG here. War, disease,
 death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption
 and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is NOT good
 work. If this is the best god can do, I am NOT impressed. Results like
 these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind
 of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just
 between you and me, in any decently run universe, this guy would have
 been out on his all-powerful-ass a long time ago."
                        [George Carlin]
%
"Trillions and trillions of prayers every day asking and begging and pleading
 for favors. 'Do this' 'Gimme that' 'I want a new car' 'I want a better job'.
 And most of this praying takes place on Sunday.  And I say fine, pray for
 anything you want.  Pray for anything.  But...what about the divine plan?
 Remember that? The divine plan. Long time ago god made a divine plan.  Gave
 it a lot of thought. Decided it was a good plan. Put it into practice.  And
 for billion and billions of years the divine plan has been doing just fine.
 Now you come along and pray for something. Well, suppose the thing you want
 isn't in god's divine plan.  What do you want him to do?  Change his plan?
 Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a divine plan. What's
 the use of being god if every run-down schmuck with a two dollar prayer book
 can come along and fuck up your plan?  And here's something else, another
 problem you might have; suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you
 say? 'Well it's god's will. God's will be done.' Fine, but if it gods will
 and he's going to do whatever he wants to anyway; why the fuck bother praying
 in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me. Couldn't you just
 skip the praying part and get right to his will?"
                             [George Carlin]
%
"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Two reasons; first of all,
 I think he's a good actor. Ok. To me, that counts. Second; he looks like
 a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. Doesn't
 fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that
 god was having trouble with. For years I asked god to do something about
 my noisy neighbor with the barking dog. Joe Pesci straightened that
 cock-sucker out with one visit."
                            [George Carlin]
%
"I noticed that of all the prayers I used to offer to god, and all the prayers
 that I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answer at about the same 50% rate.
 Half the time I get what I want. Half the time I don't.  Same as god 50/50.
 Same as the four leaf clover, the horse shoe, the rabbit's foot, and the
 wishing well. Same as the mojo man. Same as the voodoo lady who tells your
 fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles.  It's all the same; 50/50. So just
 pick your superstitions, sit back, make a wish and enjoy yourself. And for
 those of you that look to the Bible for it's literary qualities and moral
 lessons; I got a couple other stories I might like to recommend for you. You
 might enjoy The Three Little Pigs. That's a good one. It has a nice happy
 ending. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood. Although it does have that one
 x-rated part where the Big-Bad-Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I
 didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of
 moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I liked best: ...and all the
 king's horses, and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again.
 That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no god.  None.
 Not one. Never was. No god."
                         [George Carlin]
%
"Religion is kind of like wearing lifts in your shoes. If it helps
 you to feel better about yourself or whatever, fine, I don't have
 a problem with that. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes."
                     [George Carlin]
%
"Here's another question I've been pondering- What is all this shit about
 Angels? Have you herd this? 3 out of 4 people belive in Angels.  Are you
 FUCKING STUPID? Has everybody lost their mind? You know what I think it is?
 I think it's a massive, collective, psychotic chemical flashback for all
 the drugs smoked, swallowed, shot, and obsorbed rectally by all Americans
 from 1960 to 1990. 30 years of street drugs will get you some fucking
 Angels my friend!

 What about Goblins, huh? Doesn't anybody belive in Goblins? You never
 hear about this.. Except on Halloween and then it's all negative shit.
 And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble
 with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if you're going to go for the
 Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.."
             [George Carlin, "You are all Diseased"]
%
"I used to be Irish Catholic, now i'm American.  You know, you grow"
                        [George Carlin]
%
"God --
 it's a wonderful idea.
 It's a nice fantasy.
 It's a way of keeping people in line.
 It's a way of controlling people.
 There is as much proof of the existence of God --
   or even evidence, forget proof.
 There's as much evidence for the existence of God as
   there is for the existence for UFSs and extraterrestrials.
 And yet, if you mention them for a moment, you're
   considered outside, beyond the pale, you're a kook,
   you're marginalized, you're crazy.
 If you mention --
 if you don't love God, then you're --
   there's something wrong with you."
    [George Carlin, on the "Politically Incorrect show, 5/16/2001
     http://abc.go.com/primetime/politicallyincorrect/
       transcripts/transcript_20010516.html]
%
"Never attribute to Devil-worshipping conspiracies what opportunism,
 emotional instability, and religious bigotry are sufficient to explain."
                    [Shawn Carlson, Ph.D.]
%
"If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him.  They
 would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it."
                         [Thomas Carlyle]
%
"Just in the ratio knowledge increases, faith decreases."
          [Thomas Carlyle, English writer]
%
"Having a reasonable grounding in statistics and probability and
 no belief in luck, fate, karma, or god(s), the only casino game
 that interests me is blackjack."
           [John Carmack, programmer/cofounder
            of id software. (Doom, Quake)]
%
"That's why the religious people are so freaked out about the
 Internet, not because of the smut but because NO religion can
 stand up to access to information."
        [Robert Carr, Lamprey Systems
         http://members.aol.com/lampreysys/index.html]
%
"I don't believe in God.  My god is patriotism.  Teach a man
 to be a good citizen and you have solved the problem of life."
            [Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919]
%
"How do you steam clams? Make fun of their religion."
      [Johnny Carson, stand-up monologue
       on NBC's "The Tonight Show"]
%
"I'm not in favor of the government mandating a prayer in school because our
 country was founded on the fact that no particular religious faith would
 have ascendance over or preferential treatment over any other."
                 [U.S. President Jimmy Carter]
%
"I realized that a psychological need for belief also
 resulted from childhood indoctrination, and that it
 had all the characteristics of addiction."
         [Neal Cary, American Atheists
          National Outreach Director]
%
"Take a hard look at the Grand Canyon.  Try to explain that through evolution."
                [Freddie Cash, net.fundie.idiot]
%
"You know, having finally met the Good Lord, I think I can honestly say
 that He's a bit of a prick."
"Yeah, I know.  Son of a bitch keeps running away from me."
       [Cassidy and Custer, "Preacher" comics]
%
"I never saw a contradiction between the ideas that sustain me and the
 ideas of that symbol, of that extraordinary figure. [Jesus Christ]"
               [Fidel Castro, Cuban communist leader]
%
"Both the Magisterium of the Church...and the moral sense of the
 faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that
 masturbation is an intrisically and gravely disordered action.
 The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason,
 outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose."
        ["Catechism of the Catholic Church", 1994]
%
"We [Catholics] are also under an obligation to keep secrets faithfully.
 And sometimes the easiest way to fulfill that duty is to say what is
 false, or to tell a lie."
               [Catholic Encyclical X, 195]
%
"So that a false statement knowingly made to one who has a
 right to the truth will not be a lie."
          [Catholic Encyclical IX, 471]
%
"If, therefore, the Catholic Church also claims the right of dogmatic
 intolerance with regard to her teachings, it is unjust to reproach her
 for exercising this right...She regards dogmatic intolerance not alone
 as her contestable right, but also as a sacred duty...According to
 Romans 8:11, the secular authorities have the right to punish, especially
 grave crimes with death; consequently, 'heretics may be not only
 excommunicated, but also justly put to death.'"
    [The Catholic Encyclopedia, 1911 Edition, Vol. 14, pp.776,768]
%
"I can imagine no greater misfortune for a cultured people than to see in
 the hands of the rulers not only the civil, but also the religious power."
            [Caius Valerius Catullus, Roman poet 87-54 BC]
%
 Here in hell's hammock just thinking up deviltry
 planet-wide panic's a hat that's so old
 i'd rather write about her in my diary
 could she be mine without selling her soul
 dirty deeds from a demon seed
 don't excite me any more
 is there one girl, just one girl who says
 i'm bigger than jesus now
 and i love her
 i'm bigger than jesus now
 up above her
 i'm stage dining off the church of the holier than thou
 and i'm bigger than jesus now

 he's got his uptight white virginal followers
 i've got these metal chicks dumber than rocks
 dated one once but i hated the music
 and all her ex-boyfriends were there on the bus
 it's never good to be "understood"
 by a girl in acid wash
 and god only knows what it is that i really want
 guess i could ask but he's not the best confidant
 puts me down in the biblical sense
 in this basement apartment with hell-to-pay rent
 is there one girl, just one girl who says....

     [The Caulfields, "Devil's Diary"]
%
"I hear stories from the chamber,
 how Christ was born into a manger,
 like some ragged stranger.
 He died upon the cross, and might I say,
 it seems so fitting in its way,
 he was a carpenter by trade,
 or at least that's what I'm told."
   [Nick Cave "The Mercy Seat"]
%
"This is my religious problem: it would be wonderful to believe in the most
 fundamental way. It would make life easier, it would explain everything, it
 would give meaning where none is apparent, it would make tragedies bearable.
 If I went to a revival meeting, I have no doubt I could be one of the first
 to go down on his knees. It seems as if the only religion worth having is the
 simplest possible religion. But something about the fact that all it takes to
 make it so is deciding it IS so puts me off. Knowing it could instantly make
 me much happier makes it somehow unworthy of having."
         [Dick Cavett interview, on his lack of religious faith]
%
"...I hope there is a God for Grandpa Richards's sake,
 but don't much care if there is one for mine."
  [Cavett by Dick Cavett and Christopher Porterfield
   (New York: Bantam Books, 1974), pp. 56-7.  Cavett's
   grandfather was a fundamentalist Baptist minister]
%
"The order of creation in the Bible is woefully incorrect and
 violates even the most simple and obvious rules of natural science."
        [Charles Cazeau, U.S. professor of geology]
%
"Taking its root in the lower classes, the religion continues to spread
 among the vulgar: nay,  one can even say it spreads because of its vulgarity
 and the illiteracy of its adherents.  And while there are a few moderate,
 reasonable, and  intelligent people who interpret its beliefs allegorically,
 yet it thrives in its purer form among the ignorant."
                [Celsus, on the spread of Christianity,
                 _True Discourse_, c. 170 CE]
%
"Christians, it is needless to say, utterly detest each other. They
 slander each other constantly with the vilest forms of abuse and cannot
 come to any sort of agreement in their teaching. Each sect brands its
 own, fills the head of its own with deceitful nonsense, and makes
 perfect little pigs of those it wins over to its side."
                 [Celsus (2nd Century C.E.)]
%
"By simple common sense I don't believe in God, in none."
   [Charlie Chaplin, in "Manual of a Perfect Atheist" by Rius]
%
"We found that we didn't have much problem with him [J.C.],
 it was his followers we found questionable".
   [Graham Chapman, discussing making of "Life of Brian"]
%
"Kneeling is not an heroic attitude. It more becomes the fearful slave
 than the brave free man.....These stories of men becoming pious when
 terrified confirm our conviction that fear begot the gods."
             [Charles ??, in The Truth Seeker, July 1942]
%
"Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand.
 The less of either the people have, the less they want."
                  [Charlotte Observer, 1897]
%
"In God we rust."
[Gordon Charrick]
%
"It is usually when men are at their most religious that they
 behave with the least sense and the greatest cruelty."
                   [Ilka Chase]
%
"One must be impressed by the zealous concern of today's consumer for what he
 consumes. there has been a veritable renaissance of such interest in light of
 the current realization that many products do not live up to their names and
 claims. But it is not yet widely reconized that religion, like many of these
 products, also can be useless and even dangerous, at least from a psychiatric
 point of view...I am concerned, therefore, with the effects that religion can
 be shown to have on mental health as well as on mental illness."
                         [Eli S. Chese]
%
"I am not espousing atheism or any other religious stance. I am merely setting
 down a series of conclusions based upon the observations of case histories
 that are representative of literally thousands of others..they are, rather,
 typical cases seen every day in the offices of privately practicing
 psychiatrists and on the wards of most mental health facilities. ...The range
 of emotional difficulty in these patients varies from the existence of subtle
 disturbances to major ones in which at times the person does not know who he
 is but, rather, thinks that he is Jesus Christ, the Virgin Mary, or God.
 In each instance... tenacious religious beliefs can be an active thread
 interwoven into the tapestry of a disturbed thinking process..."
                        [Eli S. Chese]
%
"This world was not molded by a supreme being, and
 anyone who thinks so is just full of themselves."
     [ChesterNutzo@yahoo.com, more at his
      website: http://chesternutzo.8m.com/]
%
"To downgrade the human mind is bad theology."
          [C. K. Chesterton]
%
"The villa's and the chapel's where
 I learned with little labor
 The way to love my fellow man
 And hate my next-door neighbor."
     [C. K. Chesterton]
%
"From time to time, as we all know, a sect appears in our midst announcing
 that the world will very soon come to an end. Generally, by some slight
 confusion or miscalculation, it is the sect that comes to an end."
                   [G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)]
%
"Let's leave religion to the televangelists.
 After all, they're the professionals."
       [Cheviot, "Max Headroom"]
%
"My answers are in a blade of grass, in a swath of cobalt blue sky, in
 the intricacies of language and social interaction, in glowing dots on
 a phosphor screen, in the stratified remains of an Israeli tell, in the
 procession of the equinoxes, in the genetic makeup of drosophilia....
 They are physical, touchable, testable and repeatable. Not one of these
 answers requires a supernatural force to sustain it or justify it."
                        ["Chib" on Usenet]
%
"...once a person admits to not believing in God, this raises the
 question of whether or not that person believes in America...."
    [Chief spokesman for national office of the Boy Scouts]
%
"Worship the gods as if they were present."
 [Motto inscribed on door of Chinese temple]
%
"The Bible is one of the most genocidal books in history"
                  [Noam Chomsky]
%
"When society is in decline, people are bound to turn to belief
 in gods; when a man is foolish, he eagerly prays for good luck."
    [Wang Chong (A.D. 27-91), early Chinese materialist
     philosopher, quoted in "China Reconstructs", Feb. 1988, p. 60]
%
"Knowing what to render unto Caesar and what unto God requires wisdom of
 any president.  Candidates who reduce religion to a sound bite may not
 understand that....[W]e hope the candidates exercise restraint by wearing
 religion more in their heart than on their sleeves. The US, after all,
 is electing a president, not a preacher, who will run a country, not a
 church. Faith is a personal guide best seen in action."
       [Christian Science Monitor editorial on the 2000 elections]
%
"Laughter does not seem to be a sin, but it leads to sin."
         [St. John Chrysostom, "Homilies"]
%
"Among all the savage beasts, none is so bestial as the woman."
                  [St. John Chrysostom]
%
"We must not hold back in the battle for children's minds"
           [Church of England spokesman]
%
"Today, Jesus' name is used to divide us, to make us intolerant,
 bigoted, hateful.  There is nowhere Jesus could be born today
 were he would feel comfortable.  Jesus is being betrayed by the
 people who claim to believe in him."
        [F. Forrester Church, Unitarian minister and author of
         _God and Other Famous Liberals_, quoted in Life Magazine,
         Dec. 1994 "Jesus" issue]
%
  "History aside, the almost universal opinion that one's own religious
convictions are the reasoned outcome of a dispassionate evaluation of all the
major alternatives is almost demonstrably false for humanity in general.  If
that really were the genesis of most people's convictions, then one would
expect the major faiths to be distributed more or less randomly or evenly over
the globe.  But in fact they show a very strong tendency to cluster...which
illustrates what we all suspected anyway: that social forces are the primary
determinants of religious belief for people in general.  To decide scientific
questions by appeal to religious orthodoxy would therefore be to put social
forces in place of empirical evidence..."
            [Paul Churchland,"_Matter and Consciousness:  A
             Contemporary Introduction to the Philosophy of Mind_]
%
"I wonder that a soothsayer doesn't laugh
 whenever he sees another soothsayer."
     [Marcus Tullius Cicero]
%
    "Tuez-les tous! Dieu reconnaitra les siens!"
"Kill them all; for the Lord knoweth them that are His."
  [Arnaud-Amaury, Abbot of Citeaux and Papal Legate, 1209,
   referring to 2 Tim. 2.19, when asked how to distinguish
   between Catholics and Cathars by Crusaders attacking the
   city of Beziers.  Story by Caesarius of Heisterbach in
   "Dialogue on Miracles", also "Broadview Book of Medieval
    Anecodotes", p. 227-228]
%
"Well, I'm all packed and ready to go. I'm an aged agnostic,
 unafraid of death and undeluded with thoughts of life hereafter."
                    [Gregory Clark]
%
"In the relationship between man and religion, the state
 is firmly committed to a position of neutrality."
          [Thomas Campbell Clark]
%
"...[T]his court has rejected unequivocally the contention that the
 Establishment Clause [of the First Amendment] forbids only
 governmental preference of one religion over another."
     [Justice Tom Clark, lead opinion, School Dist. of
      Abington Township v. Schempp, 374 US 203 (1963)]
%
"It is insisted that, unless the [practices of school prayer] are permitted,
 a 'religion of secularism' is established in the schools. We agree, of
 course, that the State may not establish a 'religion of secularism' in
 the sense of affirmatively opposing or showing hostility to religion, thus
 'preferring those who believe in no religion over those who do believe'
 Zorach v. Clauson supra at 314. We do not agree, however, that this
 decision in any sense has that effect."
        [Justice Tom Clark, Opinion for the Court in School
         District of Abington Township, Pennsylvania v.
         Schempp, 374 U.S. 203 (1963) at 255.]
%
"It may be that our role on this planet is
 not to worship God, but to create him."
         [Arthur C. Clarke]
%
"You don't believe in organized religion, yet a major theme
 in so many of your works seems to be a quest for God."

"Yes, in a way--a quest for ultimate values, whatever they are.
 My objection to organized religion is the premature conclusion
 to ultimate truth that it represents..."
   [Arthur C. Clarke, in _Playboy_ interview with Ken Kelly,
    1986, from _Arthur C. Clarke: The Authorized Biography_
    by Neil McAleer, Contemporary Books, 1992]
%
"You will find men like him in all of the world's religions.  They know
 that we represent reason and science, and, however confident they may
 be in their beliefs, they fear that we will overthrow their gods.  Not
 necessarily through any deliberate act, but in a subtler fashion.
 Science can destroy a religion by ignoring it as well as by disproving
 its tenets.  No one ever demonstrated, so far as I am aware, the
 nonexistance of Zeus or Thor, but they have few followers now."
            [Arthur C. Clarke, "Childhood's End"]
%
"I would defend the liberty of concenting adult creationists
 to practice whatever intellectual perversions they like in
 the privacy of their own homes; but it is also necessary to
 protect the young and innocent."
                  [Arthur C. Clarke]
%
"A faith that cannot survive collision with
 the truth is not worth many regrets."
         [Arthur C. Clarke]
%
"The statement that God created man in his own image is ticking
 like a time bomb in the foundations of Christianity."
                 [Arthur C. Clarke]
%
"I have encountered a few "creationists" and because they were usually
 nice, intelligent people, I have been unable to decide whether they
 were _really_ mad, or only pretending to be mad.  If I was a religious
 person, I would consider creationism nothing less than blasphemy. Do its
 adherents imagine that God is a cosmic hoaxer who has created that whole
 vast fossil record for the sole purpose of misleading mankind?"
        [Arthur C. Clarke, June 5, 1998, in the essay
         "Presidents, Experts, and Asteroids," pp 1532-3]
%
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
      [Arthur C. Clarke, "Clarke's Third Law" from "Profiles of
       the Future: An Inquiry into the Limits of the Possible"]
%
"When I was last in New York I met Woody Allen and I agree with him: "I'm
 not frightened of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.'
 When I joined the RAF they put me down as C of E.  I got hold of the man
 handling the paperwork and made them change it to "pantheist'. Now I say
 I'm a crypto-Buddhist, but I'm anti-mysticism and I have a long-standing
 bias against organised religion. I don't believe in God or an afterlife."
         [Arthur C. Clarke, interview, http://www.smh.com.au/
          news/0012/21/entertainment/entertain1.html]
%
"If only more Christians read their bibles there'd be less Christians."
                       [Derek W. Clayton]
%
"For what is hairy is by nature drier and warmer than what is bare;
 therefore, the male is hairier and more warm blooded than the female;
 the uncastrated, than the castrated; the mature than the immature."
     [Clement of Alexandria, church father, Paedagogus 3.3]
%
"Every woman should be filled with shame by the thought that she is a woman."
       [St. Clement of Alexandria from The Tutor, as quoted
        in "The Natural Inferiority" of Women compiled by
        Tama Starr (New York: Poseidon Press, 1991) p. 45.]
%
"Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.  The relative
 positions to be assumed by man and woman in the working out of our
 civilization were assigned long ago by a higher intelligence than ours."
                 [Grover Cleveland, 1905]
%
"Saying your prayers could be a health hazard according to a report in the
 Medical Journal of Australia. Dr. Margaret T. Taylor traced a case of lead
 poisoning to the rosary beads an eight-year-old girl was in the habit of
 kissing. Dr. Taylor suggested that lead poisoning from the same source could
 account for anemia among nuns and other members of the Catholic faith."
             [Cleveland Press, as quoted in _True Facts_]
%
"It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to
 believe anything upon insufficient evidence."
         [W. K. Clifford essay
          "The Ethics of Belief"]
%
"If a man, holding a belief which he was taught in childhood or persuaded of
 afterwards, keeps down and pushes away any doubts which arise about it in
 his mind, purposely avoids the reading of books and the company of men
 that call into question or discuss it, and regards as impious those
 questions which cannot easily be asked without disturbing it--the life
 of that man is one long sin against mankind. "
             [W. K. Clifford, "Ethics of Belief"]
%
"We are a people of faith.  We have been so secure in that faith
 that we have enshrined in our Constitution protection for people
 who profess no faith.  And good for us for doing so.  That is
 what the First Amendment is all about. "
                  [Pres. Bill Clinton]
%
"Sometimes I think the environment in which we operate is too secular.
 That fact that we have freedom of religion doesn't mean we need to try
 to have freedom from religion.  It doesn't mean that those of us who
 have faith shouldn't frankly admit that we are animated by that faith."
                     [Pres. Bill Clinton]
%
"The Bible is the authoritative Word of God and contains all truth."
          [Pres. Bill Clinton, at a prayer breakfast]
%
"I ask you this whole week to pray for me and pray for the members of
 Congress; ask us not to turn away from our ministry. Our ministry is
 to do the work of God here on earth"
                     [Pres. Bill Clinton]
%
"One of the ugly realities of this world is that it is possible to grow
 old without ever learning anything besides religious superstitions."
                        [Clothaire]
%
"Thou shalt have one God only; who would be at the expense of two?"
         [Arthur Hugh Clough, The Latest Decalogue]
%
"You read the Bible in your own special ways
 you're fond of quoting certain things it says
 Mouth full of righteousness and wrath from above
 When do we hear about forgiveness and love?"
   [Bruce Cockburn, "Gospel of Bondage"]
%
"If life were to be found on a planet, then it would also have
 been contaminated by original sin and would require salvation."
  [Piero Coda, theology professor in Rome, in a statement to
   the Vatican, as reported by Ecumenical News International]
%
"A Roman Catholic priest and theologian has called on his church to
 consider the possibility of evangelizing extraterrestrials, according
 to published reports.  After two Swiss astronomers said they had
 discovered the first planet in a solar system similar to Earth's,
 Piero Coda, a theology professor in Rome, said any beings living
 on the planet would be in need of salvation."
   [Associated Baptist Press article, as quoted Jennifer Graham,
    Knight-Ridder Newspaper, in "Mork from Ork is going to hell? Some
    scholars say extraterrestrials would be tainted by original sin."]
%
"There is no 'Complete Idiots Guide to
 Creationism,' but perhaps one is not needed."
  [Andrei Codrescu, on NPR Aug. 25, 1999, monologue
   on the "Complete Idiot" and "For Dummies" books]
%
"The devil and God are components of a Siamese twin.  Neither has any
 existence apart from the other.  In denying the existence of the one,
 Christians have helped to kill the other.  If there need to be no fear
 of hell, people may well ask what is the attraction of heaven?  Gods and
 devils were born together.  Gods and devils will die together."
      [Chapman Cohen, "The Devil", Pamphlets for the People, no. 6]
%
"Regularity in Nature is not proof of the control of Nature by a Divine
 intelligence; it is rather the reverse.  If something- call it matter,
 or ether, or x - exists, it must operate in accordance with its innate
 qualities; and so long as this x remains uncontrolled, its manifestations
 will continue unchallenged- in other words, there will be "order".  The
 same causes, the  same results.  That is the manifest signs of a natural
 "order" that knows nothing of God."
                           [Chapman Cohen]
%
"Now, primitive man is neither a metaphysician nor an idealist.  He does not
 concern himself with the origin and destiny of the universe, nor even with
 its nature, except so far as his necessities compel him to form some
 conclusions as to the nature of the forces around him.  His gods are in no
 sense a creation of an "idealising faculty," they are the most concrete
 matter-of-fact expressions.  It is not even a question of morality.  He does
 not say, "Let us make gods in the interest of morality and the higher life";
 it is the sheer pressure of facts upon an uninformed mind that leads him to
 believe in those extra-natural beings, whose anger he is bound to placate."
                           [Chapman Cohen]
%
"Freethinkers who accompany their statement of unbelief with a "wistful
 regret"... express their unbelief in so mournful a manner as to furnish
 some little support to the religious theorist.  But the fully-fledged
 Atheist will not live up to the character.  Instead of weeping, he laughs.
 Instead of being miserable, he is happy.  Instead of regretting the loss
 of his old faith, he unblushingly declares his joy of having got rid of it.
 Insted of being grateful for the sympathy of the Christian, he confounds
 his impertinence and expresses his sympathy with the deluded believer by
 seeking to convince him of the error of his ways."
                           [Chapman Cohen]
%
"Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by
 a whiff of science or a dose of common sense."
            [Chapman Cohen]
%
"Who knows the origin of religion? Certainly not the one who
 believes in it. Understanding and belief are quite antagonistic.
 The man who understands religion does not believe in it, the
 man who believes in it does not understand it."
        [Chapman Cohen, "Essays in Freethinking"]
%
"If religion cannot restrain evil, it cannot claim effective power for good."
                         [Morris Cohen]
%
"A whole generation started the day with prayer and ended up not
 benefiting very much from it.  After all, it was not 7-year-olds
 who gathered stoned and naked at Woodstock."
                      [Richard Cohen]
%
"Ignorance is the mother of devotion."
        [Dean Henry Cole]
%
"He who begins by loving Christianity more than Truth, will proceed
 by loving his sect or church better than Christianity, and end in
 loving himself better than all."
   [Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834), English poet, critic.
    Aids to Reflection, "Moral and Religious Aphorisms," aph. 25
    (1825; repr. in Works, vol. 1, ed. by Professor Shedd, 1853)]
%
"To doubt has more of faith ... than that blank negation
 of all such thoughts and feelings which is the lot of
 the herd of church-and-meeting trotters."
          [Samuel Taylor Coleridge]
%
"Christianity demands entire subordination to its edicts.
 Until the majority of the people are emancipated from
 authority over their minds, we are not safe."
   [Lucy Colman, abolitionist, in her autobiography,
    "Reminiscences" (1891), p. 7, from James A. Haught,
    ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief]
%
"A religion that has a personal God, outside of humanity, to worship and to
 please, is quite apt to get appointed an official to regulate the people,
 and particularly to execute punishment adequate to the offense committed
 against an Infinite Ruler of the Universe.  Humanity so likes authority,
 it seems sometimes as if it gloated upon the sufferings of its fellows."
                         [Lucy Colman]
%
"We are approaching a time when Christians, especially, may have to
 declare the social contract between Enlightenment rationalists and
 biblical believers -- which formed the basis of the Constitution written
 at our nation's founding-- null and void because it has been breached."
      [Charles Colson, ex-Watergate crook/prison evangelist]
%
"He that dies a martyr proves that he was not a knave,
 but by no means that he was not a fool."
       [Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832),
        English author & clergyman, "Lacon"]
%
"Some reputed saints that have been canonized ought to have been cannonaded."
        [Charles Caleb Colton, "Lacon", from James A.
         Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief]
%
"All theological tendencies, whether Catholic, Protestant, or Deist, really
 serve to prolong and aggravate our moral anarchy, because they hinder the
 diffusion of that social sympathy and breadth of view without which we can
 never attain fixity of principle and regularity of life."
                [August Comte, from "General View of
                 Positivism," a published speech]
%
"I told the priest-
 "don't count on
 any second coming.
 God got his ass kicked
 the first time he
 came down here slumming
 He had the balls to come,
 the gall to die and then
 forgive us-
 No, I don't wonder why
 I wonder what he thought
 it would get us."
   [Concrete Blonde, "tomorrow, Wendy"
    from "Bloodletting" album, 1991]
%
"Do unto another what you would have him do unto you, and do not
 do unto another what you would not have him do unto you.  Thou
 needest this law alone. It is the foundation of all the rest."
         [Confucious' version of the "Golden Rule",
          predating the Christian version by 500 years]
%
"(9) Phyllis receives Holy Communion this morning without fasting. For the
 past five weeks she has been a patient in the hospital. She is not in
 danger of death, and will not be discharged from the hospital for a week
 or ten days. At 7:00 o'clock [sic] this morning the nurse gave her a glass
 of orange juice and some medicine; at 8 o'clock she enjoyed a glass of milk.
 The priest came with Holy Communion at 8:30 and permits [sic] her to receive
 without fasting. Please explain matters."
    [Connell, Rev. Francis J., C.SS.R., S.T.D. The New Confraternity
     Edition Revised Baltimore Catechism No. 3. The Text of the official
     revised edition, 1949, with summarizations of doctrine and study helps.
     Benziger Bros. Inc., New York, 1949.  Study Helps, page 220]
%
"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary;
 men alone are quite capable of every wickedness."
               [Joseph Conrad]
%
"For every age is fed on illusions, lest men should
 renounce life early, and the human race come to an end."
               [Joseph Conrad]
%
"Skepticism... is the agent of truth."
         [Joseph Conrad]
%
"Christianity has lent itself with amazing facility
 to cruel distortion . . . and has brought an infinity
 of anguish to innumerable souls on this earth."
    [Joseph Conrad (Korzeniowski), Polish-born
     English author (1857-1924)]
%
"And I just want to say...anyone who quotes the bible...that's bullshit.
 Because the bible is a book that has fucked up the world more than any
 other single book.  A book that was written by a bunch of male chauvinists."
                   [Consolidated, "Dominion"]
%
"No person who denies the being of God shall hold any
 office [in] the civil departments of this State, nor
 be competent to testify as a witness in any court."
    [Constitution of the State of Arkansas, Art. 19,
     Sec.1; violates the US Constitutional prohibition
     against religious tests for public office, and
     was ignored by Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton]
%
"Surprisingly, recent research suggests that a religious person is more likely
 to commit a crime than a non-religious person. One can even argue that the
 more religious the society, the more likely it is to have high crime rates."
     ["Religion and Crime: Do They Go Together?", by Lisa Conyers
       and Philip D. Harvey, Summer 1996 issue of _Free Inquiry_]
%
"In the beginning, God created the Baptists. And the Baptists looked
 at themselves and said: We good. And God saw it was too late.  And
 on the 8th day God said, OK Murphy, you take over.  I disbelieved
 in reincarnation in my last life, too."
            [coolsig.com website, August 4, 1999]
%
"Surely, it would be fascinating to have a real encounter with
 another intelligence [i.e., an alien]. I think we'd have to
 consider whether we should baptize him."
     [Rev. Chris Corbally, Catholic astronomer, scientist]
%
"Screw guilt, I could have sex with 10 men and it
 wouldn't bother me, I'm an atheist!"
    [Adam Corolla, host of MTV's "Loveline" show,
     responding to a licensed minister who couldn't
     suppress his feelings of homosexuality]
%
"As "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make one drink," so also,
 "You can drag a Christian to the truth, but you can't make one think."
                        [Delmar Coughlin]
%
"The problem with Protestantism is that it's not
 quite silly enough to be rejected out of hand."
           [R. Craig Coulter]
%
"I am a prophet sent by God to declare the destruction
 of the United States because of abortion."
          [Michael Courtney, net.fundie]
%
A man said to the Universe,
"Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the Universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
   [Stephen Crane, Poem 96
    from _War_Is_Kind_, 1899]
%
"Why does god cause tornados and train wrecks?"
         [Crash Test Dummies]
%
"Out of your palaces, princes and queens
 Out of your churches, you clergy, you christs
 I'll neither live nor die for your dreams
 I'll make no subscription to your paradise
 JESUS DIED FOR HIS OWN SINS, NOT MINE"
             [Crass]
%
"When God the Son squeezed energy into atoms, he squeezed and held the atom so
 tightly that there were no unstable elements and therefore no radioactivity.
 At the fall [of Adam and Eve], He relaxed His grip slightly... which affected
 every atom and allowed some to become unstable, i.e., radioactivity!
            [Creation Research Society Quarterly, March 1982]
%
"Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable.
 For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are
 told--and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The
 characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the
 characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for
 territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings
 fight for their 'beliefs.' The reason is that beliefs guide behavior,
 which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when
 our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume
 we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists.
 Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion."
               [Michael Crichton in "The Lost World"]
%
"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a
 woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of
 the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
                     [Quentin Crisp]
%
"It was man who first made men believe in gods."
        [Critias (480-403 B.C.E.)]
%
"Philosophy removes from religion all reason for existing."
   [Benedetto Croce, "Aesthetic", quoted by Will Durant]
%
"Keep your faith in God, but keep your powder dry."
             [Oliver Cromwell]
%
"I slept with Faith, and found a corpse in my arms on awaking; I drank
 and danced all night with Doubt, and found her a virgin in the morning."
             [Aleister Crowley, _The Book of Lies_]
%
"If one were to take the bible seriously, one would go mad.
 But to take the bible seriously, one must be already mad."
               [Aleister Crowley]
%
"There are no atheists in the foxholes."
   [William Thomas Cummings,
    _Field_Sermon_on_Bataan_ (1942)]
%
"The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is
 that someday they might force their beliefs on us."
               [Mario Cuomo]
%
"If the theists all shut up, the
 gods would be speechless."
  [Robert Curry, on HolySmoke]
%
"Virgins give birth all the time!
 Yeah. They just don't tip the stork."
        [Robert Curry]
%
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance:
 Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners... But for
 that very reason, I was shown mercy so that in me... Jesus
 Christ might display His unlimited patience as an example
 for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.
 Now to the king eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God,
 be honor and glory forever and ever."
    [Jeffrey Dahmer, convicted serial killer, in a statement
     to the court, Milwaukee, WI, February 17, 1992]
%
"The great danger of these religious charlatans lies in their unremitting
 attack on the separation of church and state in an effort to legislate
 their theological beliefs. Whether they are motivated from the desire for
 personal aggrandizement and greed, or sincere but misplaced superstition,
 they pose a very real danger to the liberties of all Americans."
      [Joseph L. Daleiden, "The Final Superstition: A Critical
       Evaluation of Judeo-Christian Legacy", p.439]
%
"Despite the suppression of thought, as humankind became more sophisticated
 in its knowledge of the workings of nature, it was only natural that some
 people began to question the efficacy of the priests and their magical
 rituals. Indeed, as people became aware of natural causes, they began to
 question the very existence of the gods themselves. The priests' answer to
 this skepticism was twofold: invoking the power of the state to exterminate
 dangerous freethought, and concurrently developing even more complex,
 serpentine, theological logic. Many philosophers were not taken in by this
 specious reasoning. They demonstrated that, fundamentally, all theology and
 metaphysics is pseudolearning, a semantic sleight of hand to give the
 appearance that superstitious beliefs have an intellectual, rational
 foundation. They further showed that, by definition, God, if he existed,
 would be unknowable. Yet theology--bolstered by the semantic alchemy of
 metaphysics--attempted to discuss God as if he could be discovered by
 reason or experience."
      [Joseph L. Daleiden, "The Final Superstition: A Critical
       Evaluation of Judeo-Christian Legacy", p.385]
%
"In the final analysis all theology, whether Christian or otherwise, is a
 marvelous excercise in logic based on premises that are no more verifiable--
 or reasonable-- than astrology, palmistry, or belief in the Easter Bunny.
 Theology pretends to search for truth, but no method could lead a person
 farther away from the truth than that intellectual charade. The purpose of
 theology is first and foremost to perpetuate the religious status quo.
 Religion, in turn, seeks to maintain the social stability necessary for
 its own preservation."
      [Joseph L. Daleiden, "The Final Superstition: A Critical
       Evaluation of Judeo-Christian Legacy", p.386]
%
"One does not need to puzzle long over why religionists hate atheists so
 venomously.  Atheist stir up the suppressed doubts of believers to the point
 of producing anguish.  This is the anguish that incited believers to burn
 heretics and atheists at the stake in olden times to remove the source of
 the unsettling, disturbing doubts that plagued the believers."
            [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Most atheist do waste their lives battling against the unconquerable monster
 of religion--a monster impervious to the spears of reason, impenetrable by
 the bullets of logic, and insensible to even the thrust of common sense."
            [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"You make money promoting religion; you only spend money promoting atheism."
            [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"The positive and negative reinforcements of religion verses atheism
 tell quite a story.  First of all, most religions promise you Heaven
 and promise that your enemies will be punished in Hell.  What these
 promises amount to is an assurance of justice, one of humankind's
 greatest longings.  Atheism promises nothing."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Everybody's life is a tragedy but the life of an atheist seems especially
 tragic.  When the atheist dies he realizes that his whole life was in
 vain, that he entered a world that reeked with the stench of religion and
 leaves it still holding his nose."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"People like the authority figures and moral absolutes of religion to guide
 them so they can know the right path to trod in a very confusing world.
 They like to feel that they are walking on the solid rock of infallible
 religion rather than on the shifting sands of tentative science and moral
 relativity.  People also like the warm, loving acceptance by religious
 groups, and emotional fulfillment that gives them a closer feeling to God
 and their church.  And mysticism just by itself seems to fulfill a deep,
 primitive emotional need for most humans."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"The average person in fulfilling his need to believe, in yielding to
 the urge of his herd instinct and in reaping the many advantages religion
 offers is following the path of the least resistance and greatest reward."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"The religionists apologize that although the Bible was inspired by God,
 it was, unfortunately, written by ancient, ignorant, half-civilized people."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Immature and defenseless children are early indoctrinated with religious
 ideas by their parents, grandparents, Sunday school teachers, etc.  By
 adulthood they become convinced that they possess the truth, and spend
 the rest of their lives elaborating and defending their religion."
            [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Pragmatists are correct in observing that people fare better in any society
 by accepting the society's religion, mores, values; by conforming rather
 than by dissenting.  People living in a religious community find that they
 fit in better, adjust more easily, prosper better, feel more secure and
 are happier if they accept the prevailing religion."
            [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"The common behavior of believers in proclaiming their beliefs
 repetitiously and with emotional intensity is in itself evidence of doubt.
 They wish to overwhelm their doubts with decibels and iteration."
            [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"It logically follows that the small sects, which feel the most
 alone and least supported in their views, work the hardest for
 new converts to dispel their nagging doubts."
       [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"People, upon finding the "truth," spend the remainder of their lives
 defending it. Christianity protects itself against the doubting of its
 theology by making doubting one of its greatest sins. By contrast,
 doubting is the greatest virtue of science."
        [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Liberals who have actually read the Bible rationalize their adherence
 to Christianity by saying that the Bible doesn't really mean what it
 says. In calling themselves Christians, they are appropriating a
 hallowed name and applying it to a made-up religion of their own."
        [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Personal dishonesty seems to be a necessary basis for religion.  That
 is understandable.  Children are indoctrinated with a code of behavior
 that is instinctually impossible to follow.  So they regularly violate
 the code and to avoid punishment cover up the violations by lying.
 For them, lying becomes part of their religion."
          [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"From the earliest Christian times, the Church has defended itself against
 exposure of its fraudulent nature by persecuting scientist, torturing
 dissidents, censoring literature, burning blasphemers, brainstuffing the
 laity--in every way possible keeping the populace steeped in ignorance,
 terrorized by fear and subjugated to the Church."
            [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Even a religion like Christianity purportedly created to
 champion the poor and downtrodden was later taken over by
 the rich and powerful for their own benefit."
     [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"It logically follows that if Christianity is true, then reason
 if false.  If human reason is false, how does one account for
 the great marvels created by science based on human reason?"
      [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"If reason be a gift of Heaven, and we can say as much of faith, Heaven
 has certainly made us two gifts not only incompatible, but in direct
 contradiction to each other. In order to solve the difficulty, we are
 compelled to say either that faith is a chimera or that reason is useless."
         [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Believers are interested in fulfilling emotional and spiritual needs, not
 intellectual needs.  In some cases one might as well try to use reason an
 a dog.  For many people God is primarily a warm feeling.  How can one argue
 with a warm feeling.  Arguing with someone who places reason below faith
 and biblical authority is blowing against the wind."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"One finds it inexplicable that an all-powerful God would try to make his
 will known to the world by revealing himself to such few people.  It
 was revelation only to those few; to the rest of the world and future
 generations it was hearsay--passed by word of mouth for many generations.
 Yet such hearsay is the very foundation of Judeo-Christianity."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"One wonders why God would choose a Bible to reveal himself
 thousands of years before the invention of the printing
 press and at a time when few people could read."
    [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"While God routinely punishes the innocent, he perversely rewards the guilty.
 According to one Christian scheme of salvation the worst sinners, no matter
 how much raping, robbing, swindling, murdering and mutilating they have done
 in their rotten lifetime, can get into Heaven by merely acknowledging God's
 son Jesus as their Savior; they can enjoy eternal bliss right along with
 good people who have earned it."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"The advances of science have not been accepted gracefully.  They have
 been denounced by the church and resisted by the populace.  The leaders
 of scientific discovery have been vilified, harassed, persecuted, tortured,
 imprisoned and executed.  But the weight of evidence and practical results
 piled up by science is invincible--something that many of today's
 fundamentalists still haven't learned."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"With science unable to give us the answers, religion steps in and fills
 the gap of our ignorance with nonsense, fantasies and pretentious lies.
 Prophets and priests rush in where scientists fear to tread."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Religionists claim that their truth is absolute and rock solid, while
 scientists concede that their truth is tentative and relative."
         [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"God, being accredited as responsible for everything we cannot
 explain otherwise, becomes the symbol of our ignorance."
      [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"What could be more negative thinking than belief that sex and procreation,
 without which there could be no life on Earth, are dirty and sinful!  Our
 obsession with sex and morality has produced a sexually sick, sadistic,
 perverted, frustrated, aggressive, violence-prone society."
         [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Another benefit of religion is the raising of one's self-esteem--the
 feeling that one is superior to soulless lower animals as well as
 superior to nonbelievers because one is saved and chosen for eternity."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"It is little wonder that these generally ignorant, seedy, morally shoddy
 types (televangelists) achieve amazing success.  They are treated as
 sacrosanct by a government fearful of offending religion.  Not held
 financially accountable as are other businessmen, and enjoying religious
 exemptions from various taxes and from numerous government regulations,
 they easily amass millions of dollars from a gullible public."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"The really incredible part of Christian theology is God's demanding after
 perpetrating his brutal crimes and injustices on humankind and ordering
 his own son murdered--demanding that humankind honor him, worship him,
 kneel down to him, and sing his praises day and night forever."
           [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Much of humankind's intellectual and emotional struggle has been
 not for truth, but against truth.  The advance of science has been
 sporadically fought against for thousands of years."
         [C. W. Dalton, "The Right Brain and Religion"]
%
"Without doubt you are not sane."
      [Tage Danielsson]
%
"The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and
 fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are
 drifting side by side to our common doom."
                        [Clarence Darrow]
%
"I believe that religion is the belief in future life
 and in God. I don't believe in either. I don't believe
 in God as I don't believe in Mother Goose."
     [Clarence Darrow, speech, Toronto, 1930,
      quoted in "Manual of a Perfect Atheist" by Rius]
%
"I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know
 what many ignorant men are sure of."
          [Clarence Darrow]
%
"The fact that there is a general belief in
 a future life is no evidence of its truth."
          [Clarence Darrow]
%
"Even many of those who claim to believe in immortality still tell themselves
 and others that neither side of the question is susceptible of proof.  Just
 what can these hopeful ones believe that the word "proof" involves?  The
 evidence against the persistence of personal consciousness is as strong as
 the the evidence for gravitation, and much more obvious.  It is as convincing
 and unassailable as the proof of the destruction of wood or coal by fire.
 If it is not certain that death ends personal identity and memory, then
 almost nothing that man accepts as true is susceptible as proof."
           [Clarence Darrow, "The Myth of Immortality"]
%
"They were allowed to stay there on one condition, and that is
 that they didn't eat of the tree of knowledge. That has been
 the condition of the Christian church from then until now.
 They haven't eaten as yet, as a rule they do not."
    [Clarence Seward Darrow, American lawyer (1857-1938)]
%
"To think is to differ."
  [Clarence Darrow,
   Scopes trial, July 1925]
%
"I say that religion is the belief in future life
 and in God.  I don't believe in either."
     [Clarence Darrow, interview,
      N.Y. Times, 19 April 1936]
%
"The origin of the absurd idea of immortal life is easy to discover;
 it is kept alive by hope and fear, by childish faith, and by cowardice."
                     [Clarence Darrow]
%
"In spite of all the yearnings of men, no one can produce a single
 fact or reason to support the belief in God and in personal immortality."
           [Clarence Darrow, The Sign, May 1938]
%
"Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt."
                [Clarence Darrow]
%
"If today you can take a thing like evolution and make it a crime to teach
 in the public schools, tomorrow you can make it a crime to teach it in the
 private schools and next year you can make it a crime to teach it to the
 hustings or in the church.  At the next session you may ban books and the
 newspapers... Ignorance and fanaticism are ever busy and need feeding. Always
 feeding and gloating for more. Today it is the public school teachers;
 tomorrow the private. The next day the preachers and the lecturers, the
 magazines, the books, the newspapers. After a while, Your Honor, it is the
 setting of man against man and creed against creed until with flying banners
 and beating drums we are marching backward to the glorious ages of the
 sixteenth centry when bigots lighted fagots to burn the men who dared to
 bring any intelligence and enlightenment and culture to the human mind."
           [Clarence Darrow, at the Scopes Monkey Trial, 1925]
%
"People are such damned idiots, they know a little about biology.  They
 know, for instance that you can produce a fat hog or a thin hog and
 they get to believing that you can produce wise men.  A preacher is
 just as apt to produce a criminal as anyone else - more so, perhaps.
 Children don't like to stay around preacher's houses.  They run away."
              [Clarence Darrow, quoted in The
               Houston Press, Mar. 11, 1931]
%
"If that story [Creation] was necessary to keep me out of
 hell and put me in heaven -- necessary for my life -- I
 wouldn't believe it because I couldn't believe it."
                   [Clarence Darrow]
%
"On the ordinary view of each species having been
 independently created, we gain no scientific explanation..."
               [Charles Darwin]
%
"I can hardly see how anyone ought to wish Christianity to be true; for if
 so the plain language of the text seems to show that the men who do not
 believe, and this would include my Father, Brother and almost all my best
 friends, will be everlastingly punished.  And this is a damnable doctrine."
                        [Charles Darwin]
%
"For myself, I do not believe in any revelation. As
 for a future life, every man must judge for himself
 between conflicting vague probabilities."
             [Charles Darwin]
%
"The assumed instinctive belief in God has been used by many persons as
 an argument for His existence. But this is a rash argument, as we
 should thus be compelled to believe in the existence of cruel and
 malignant spirits, only a little more powerful than man; for the
 belief in them is far more general than in a beneficent Diety."
           [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man"]
%
"I gradually came to disbelieve in Christianity as a divine revelation...
 Disbelief crept over me at a very slow rate, but was at last complete.
 The rate was so slow that I felt no distress, and have never since
 doubted even for a single second that my conclusion was correct."
                    [Charles Darwin]
%
"I am a strong advocate for free thought on all subjects, yet it appears to
 me (whether rightly or wrongly) that direct arguments against christianity
 & theism produce hardly any effect on the public; & freedom of thought is
 best promoted by the gradual illumination of men's minds, which follows
 from the advance of science. It has, therefore, been always my object to
 avoid writing on religion, & I have confined myself to science. I may,
 however, have been unduly biassed by the pain which it would give some
 members of my family, if I aided in any way direct attacks on religion."
            [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man", p.645]
%
"On seeing the marsupials in Australia for the first time and
 comparing them to placental mammals: "An unbeliever ...might
 exclaim 'Surely two distinct Creators must have been at work'"
      [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man",  p. 178]
%
"..we can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe, nay whole
 systems of universe[s,] to be governed by laws, but the smallest
 insect, we wish to be created at once by special act"
       [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man", p. 218]
%
"I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would
 have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of
 their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars."
       [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man", p. 479]
%
"The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by
 us; and I for one must be content to remain an agnostic."
        [Charles Darwin, "Life and Letters"]
%
"Now must we overlook the probability of the constant inculcation in a
 belief in God on the minds of children, producing so strong and perhaps
 an inherited effect on their brains not fully developed, that it would
 be as difficult for them to throw off their belief in God, as for a
 monkey to throw off its instinctive fear and hatred of a snake."
                       [Charles Darwin]
%
"For my part I would as soon be descended from a baboon...as from a
 savage who delights to torture his enemies...treats his wives like
 slaves...and is haunted by the grossest superstitions."
             [Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man"]
%
"If women reaching their sexual peak at age 34 while men reach it
 at 18 is not proof that God is a woman, then I don't know what is."
                    [Peter David]
%
"People who are bitter and hateful about slavery are obviously bitter and
 hateful against God and his word, because they reject what God says and
 embrace what mere humans say concerning slavery.  This humanistic
 thinking is what the abolitionists embraced."
         [Alabama State Senator Charles Davidson, citing
          biblical defenses of slavery, 1996]
%
                   gullibility + arrogance
Unshakable faith = ------------
                         common sense

  [Scott Davies (scottd@cory.EECS.Berkeley.EDU)
   on alt.atheism.moderated]
%
"The fact that the ontological argument reeks of logical trickery belies its
 philosophical force.  It has in fact been taken very seriously by many
 philosophers over the years, including briefly by the atheistic Bertrand
 Russell.  Nevertheless, even theologians have not generally been prepared to
 defend it.  One problem lies with the treatment of "existence" as if it were
 a property of things, like mass or color.  Thus the argument obliges one to
 compare the concepts of gods-that-really-exist and gods-that-don't-really-
 exist.  But existence is not the sort of attribute to be placed alongside
 normal physical properties.  I can meaningfully talk about having five
 little coins and six big coins in my pocket, but what does it mean for me
 to say that I have five existing coins and six nonexistent coins?"
            [Paul Davis, "The Mind of God", on the
            "ontological" argument for God's existence]
%
"There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the
 existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any
 marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat
 engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool.  This is
 obviously impossible."
                    [Richard Davisson]
%
"Consider the idea of God. We do not know how it arose in the meme pool.
 Probably it originated many times by independent 'mutation.' In any case,
 it is very old indeed. How does it replicate itself? By the spoken and
 written word, aided by great music and great art. Why does it have such
 high survival value? Remember that 'survival value' here does not mean
 value for a gene in a gene pool, but value for a meme in a meme pool. The
 question really means: What is it about the idea of a god that gives it its
 stability and penetrance in the cultural environment? The survival value of
 the god meme in the meme pool results from its great psychological appeal.
 It provides a superficially plausible answer to deep and troubling
 questions about existence. It suggests that injustices in this world may be
 rectified in the next. The 'everlasting arms' hold out a cushion against
 our own inadequacies which, like a doctor's placebo, is none the less
 effective for being imaginary. There are some of the reasons why the idea
 of God is copied so readily by successive generations of individual brains.
 God exists, if only in the form of a meme with high survival value, or
 infective power, in the environment provided by human culture."
            [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"]
%
"Another meme of the religious meme complex is called faith. It means blind
 trust, in the absence of evidence, even in the teeth of evidence. The story
 of Doubting Thomas is told, not so that we shall admire Thomas, but so that
 we can admire the other apostles in comparison. Thomas demanded evidence.
 Nothing is more lethal for certain kinds of meme than a tendency to look
 for evidence. The other apostles, whose faith was so strong that they did
 not need evidence, are held up to us as worthy of imitation. The meme for
 blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious
 expedient of discouraging rational inquiry."
           [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"]
%
"Blind faith can justify anything. In a man believes in a different god, or
 even if he uses a different ritual for worshipping the same god, blind
 faith can decree that he should die - on the cross, at the stake, skewered
 on a Crusader's sword, shot in a Beirut street, or blown up in a bar in
 Belfast. Memes for blind faith have their own ruthless ways of propagating
 themselves. This is true of patriotic and political as well as religious
 blind faith."
              [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"]
%
"I think what attracts me about the Electric Monk is that it's such
 an eloquent example of the futility of belief for belief's sake.  I
 mean there's only any point in believing something if it's true."
       [Richard Dawkins, interview with Douglas Adams]
%
"And it's not just faith itself: it's the idea that faith is a virtue and the
 less evidence there is, the more virtuous it is.  You can actually quote,
 well, Tertullian for example: "It is certain because it is impossible."
 Sir Thomas Brown, actually seeking for more difficult things to believe,
 because things for which there is mere evidence are just too easy, and it's
 no test of his faith.  In order to have a test of your faith, you must be
 asked to believe really daft things like the transubstantiation, you know,
 the blood of Christ turning into wine, and stuff... That is so manifestly
 absurd that you've got to be a really great believer, in the class of the
 Electric Monk, in order to believe it..... You're actually showing off your
 believing credentials by the ability to believe something like that...
 If it were an easy thing to believe, substantiated by facts, then it
 wouldn't be any great achievement."
          [Richard Dawkins, interview with Douglas Adams]
%
"The level of awe that you get by contemplating the modern scientific view of
 the universe: deep time (by which I mean geological time),  deep space, and
 what you could call deep complexity, living things..... that level of awe is
 just orders of magnitude greater and more awe-inspiring than the sort of
 pokey medieval world-view which the church still actually has.  I mean, they
 sort of pay lip-service to the scientific world-view, but if you listen to
 what they say on Thought For The Day [a religious program on BBC Radio] and
 things like that, it is medieval. It's a small world, a small universe, with
 the sky up there, very little advance since that time.  So I yield to nobody
 in my awe for the universe and for life, but I also have a deep desire to
 understand it, in terms of what makes it work, what makes it tick, and not
 to take refuge in spurious non-explanations like "I just believe it
 because I believe it," that sort of thing."
         [Richard Dawkins, interview with Douglas Adams]
%
"On the contrary, if the universe were just electrons and selfish genes,
 meaningless tragedies like the crashing of this bus [full of children
 from a Roman Catholic school and for no apparent reason but with wholesale
 loss of life] are exactly what we should expect, along with equally
 meaningless _good_ [italics in original] fortune.  Such a universe would
 be neither evil nor good in intention.  It would manifest no intentions of
 any kind.  In a universe of blind physical forces and genetic replication,
 some people are going to get hurt, other people are going to get lucky,
 and you won't find any rhyme or reason in it, nor any justice.  The
 universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if
 there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, and no good, nothing
 but blind, pitiless indifference."
        [Richard Dawkins, _River Out of Eden: A Darwinian View of
         Life_,  1995, BasicBooks, New York; ISBN 0-465-01606-5
         Also quoted in "God's Utility Function", pg 85, November,
         1995 _Scientific American_]
%
"Science offers us an explanation of how complexity (the difficult) arose
 out of simplicity (the easy).  The hypothesis of God offers no worthwhile
 explanation for anything, for it simply postulates what we are trying to
 explain.  It postulates the difficult to explain, and leaves it at that.
 We cannot prove that there is no God, but we can safely conclude the He
 is very, very improbable indeed."
        [Richard Dawkins, from the _New Humanist_, the Journal
         of the Rationalist Press Association, Vol 107 No 2]
%
"The analogy between telescope and eye, between watch and living organism, is
 false. All appearances to the contrary, the only watchmaker in nature is the
 blind forces of physics, albeit deployed in a very special way. A true
 watchmaker has foresight: he designs his cogs and springs, and plans their
 interconnections, with a future purpose in his mind's eye. Natural selection,
 the blind, unconscious, automatic process which Darwin discovered, and which
 we now know is the explanation for the existence and apparently purposeful
 form of all life, has no purpose in mind. It has no mind and no mind's eye.
 It does not plan for the future. It has no vision, no foresight, no sight at
 all. If it can be said to play the role of watchmaker in nature, it is the
 blind watchmaker."
            [Richard Dawkins, _The Blind Watchmaker_
             (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1987), p. 5]
%
"The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only
 theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the
 existence of organized complexity."
      [Richard Dawkins, _The Blind Watchmaker_
       (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1987), p. 317]
%
"In childhood our credulity serves us well.  It helps us to pack, with
 extraordinary rapidity, our skulls full of the wisdom of our parents and
 our ancestors.  But if we don't grow out of it in the fullness of time,
 our ... nature makes us a sitting target for astrologers, mediums, gurus,
 evangelists, and quacks.  We need to replace the automatic credulity
 of childhood with the constructive skepticism of adult science."
                   [Richard Dawkins]
%
"I have just discovered that without her father's consent this
 sweet, trusting, gullible six-year-old is being sent, for weekly
 instruction, to a Roman Catholic nun. What chance has she?"
          [Richard Dawkins, "Viruses of the Mind"]
%
"The second requirement of a virus-friendly environment --- that it should
 obey a program of coded instructions --- is again only quantitatively less
 true for brains than for cells or computers. We sometimes obey orders from
 one another, but also we sometimes don't. Nevertheless, it is a telling fact
 that, the world over, the vast majority of children follow the religion of
 their parents rather than any of the other available religions. Instructions
 to genuflect, to bow towards Mecca, to nod one's head rhythmically towards
 the wall, to shake like a maniac, to ``speak in tongues'' --- the list of
 such arbitrary and pointless motor patterns offered by religion alone is
 extensive --- are obeyed, if not slavishly, at least with some reasonably
 high statistical probability."
             [Richard Dawkins, "Viruses of the Mind"]
%
"The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the
 simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry."
        [Richard Dawkins, "Viruses of the Mind"]
%
"With so many mindbytes to be downloaded, so many mental codons to be
 replicated, it is no wonder that child brains are gullible, open to
 almost any suggestion, vulnerable to subversion, easy prey to Moonies,
 Scientologists and nuns.  Like immune-deficient patients, children are
 wide open to mental infections that adults might brush off without effort."
            [Richard Dawkins, "Viruses of the Mind"]
%
"If you have a faith, it is statistically overwhelmingly likely that it
 is the same faith as your parents and grandparents had. No doubt soaring
 cathedrals, stirring music, moving stories and parables, help a bit.
 But by far the most important variable determining your religion is the
 accident of birth.  The convictions that you so passionately believe
 would have been a completely different, and largely contradictory, set
 of convictions, if only you had happened to be born in a different place.
 Epidemiology, not evidence."
                        [Richard Dawkins]
%
"Out of all of the sects in the world, we notice an uncanny coincidence:
 the overwhelming majority just happen to choose the one that their parents
 belong to.  Not the sect that has the best evidence in its favour, the best
 miracles, the best moral code, the best cathedral, the best stained glass,
 the best music: when it comes to choosing from the smorgasbord of available
 religions, their potential virtues seem to count for nothing, compared to
 the matter of heredity.  This is an unmistakable fact; nobody could
 seriously deny it. Yet people with full knowledge of the arbitrary nature
 of this heredity, somehow manage to go on believing in *their* religion,
 often with such fanaticism that they are prepared to murder people who
 follow a different one."
                       [Richard Dawkins]
%
"Hot on the heels of its magnanimous pardoning of Galileo, the Vatican has now
 moved with even more lightning speed to recognise the truth of Darwinism."
                          [Richard Dawkins]
%
"Religious people split into three main groups when faced
 with science.  I shall label them the "know-nothings",
 the "know-alls", and the "no-contests."
                [Richard Dawkins]
%
"It is often said, mainly by the "no-contests", that although there is no
 positive evidence for the existence of God, nor is there evidence against
 his existence.  So it is best to keep an open mind and be agnostic. At first
 sight that seems an unassailable position, at least in the weak sense of
 Pascal's wager. But on second thoughts it seems a cop-out, because the same
 could be said of Father Christmas and tooth fairies.  There may be fairies at
 the bottom of the garden. There is no evidence for it, but you can't *prove*
 that there aren't any, so shouldn't we be agnostic with respect to fairies?"
                        [Richard Dawkins]
%
"I suspect that today if you asked people to justify their belief in God,
 the dominant reason would be scientific.  Most people, I believe, think
 that you need a God to explain the existence of the world, and especially
 the existence of life.  They are wrong, but our education system is such
 that many people don't know it. "
                        [Richard Dawkins]
%
"A universe with a God would look quite different from a universe without
 one. A physics, a biology where there is a God is bound to look different."
                        [Richard Dawkins]
%
"The trouble is that God in this sophisticated, physicist's sense bears no
 resemblance to the God of the Bible or any other religion. If a physicist
 says God is another name for Planck's constant, or God is a superstring, we
 should take it as a picturesque metaphorical way of saying that the nature
 of superstrings or the value of Planck's constant is a profound mystery.
 It has obviously not the smallest connection with a being capable of
 forgiving sins, a being who might listen to prayers, who cares about
 whether or not the Sabbath begins at 5pm or 6pm, whether you wear a veil
 or have a bit of arm showing; and no connection whatever with a being
 capable of imposing a death penalty on His son to expiate the sins of
 the world before and after he was born. "
                        [Richard Dawkins]
%
"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need
 to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of,
 even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence."
                  [Richard Dawkins]
%
"Science offers us an explanation of how complexity (the difficult)
 arose out of simplicity (the easy).  The hypothesis of God offers
 no worthwhile explanation for anything, for it simply postulates
 what we are trying to explain."
                    [Richard Dawkins]
%
"Thus the creationist's favourite question "What is the use of half an
 eye?"  Actually, this is a lightweight question, a doddle to answer.
 Half an eye is just 1 per cent better than 49 per cent of an eye..."
                      [Richard Dawkins]
%
"Certainly I see the scientific view of the world as incompatible with
 religion, but that is not what is interesting about it.  It is also
 incompatible with magic, but that also is not worth stressing. What is
 interesting about the scientific world view is that it is true,
 inspiring, remarkable and that it unites a whole lot of phenomena
 under a single heading."
                    [Richard Dawkins]
%
"Religions do make claims about the universe--the same kinds of
 claims that scientists make, except they're usually false."
                   [Richard Dawkins]
%
"Who will say with confidence that sexual abuse is more
 permanently damaging to children than threatening them
 with the eternal and unquenchable fires of hell?"
               [Richard Dawkins]
%
"I am against religion because it teaches us to
 be satisfied with not understanding the world."
             [Richard Dawkins]
%
"We no longer have to resort to superstition when faced with the deep
 problems: Is there a meaning to life? What are we for? What is man?"
            [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"]
%
"They express a preference for 'natural' methods of population
 limitation, and a natural method is exactly what they are going
 to get. It is called starvation."
         [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"]
%
"There is no spirit-driven life force, no throbbing, heaving,
 pullulating, protoplasmic, mystic jelly.  Life is just bytes
 and bytes and bytes of digital information."
        [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"]
%
"Scientific beliefs are supported by evidence, and they
 get results.  Myths and faiths are not and do not."
    [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"]
%
"This is one of the hardest lessons for humans to learn. We cannot admit that
 things might be neither good nor evil, neither cruel nor kind, but simply
 callous - indifferent to all suffering, lacking all purpose."
             [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"]
%
"If there is only one Creator who made the tiger and the lamb,
 the cheetah and the gazelle, what is He playing at?  Is he a
 sadist who enjoys spectator blood sports? ... Is he manuvering
 to maximize David Attenborough's television ratings?"
        [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"]
%
"The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should
 expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil
 and no good, nothing but blind pitiless indifference."
        [Richard Dawkins, "River Out of Eden"]
%
"If all the achievements of scientists were wiped out tomorrow, there would be
 no doctors, but witch doctors, no transport faster than horses, no computers,
 no printed books, no agriculture beyond subsistence peasant farming. If all
 the achievements of theologians were wiped out tomorrow, would anyone notice
 the difference?  Even bad achievements of scientists, the bombs, and sonar-
 guided whaling vessels *work*! The achievements of theologians don't do
 anything, don't affect anything, don't mean anything. What makes anyone think
 that "theology" is a subject at all?"
            [Richard Dawkins, "The Emptiness of Theology",
             Op-Ed article in Free Inquiry, Spring 1998]
%
"Faith is powerful enough to immunize people against all appeals to pity,
 to forgiveness, to decent human feelings. It even immunizes them against
 fear, if they honestly believe that a martyr's death will send them straight
 to heaven. What a weapon! Religious faith deserves a chapter to itself in
 the annals of war technology, on an even footing with the longbow, the
 warhorse, the tank, and the hydrogen bomb."
                [Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"]
%
Telegraph: "For God to create the universe he would have to be hyper-
       intelligent. But intelligence only evolves over time. Is that
       about the strength of it?"

Dawkins: "It's worse than that, the argument for God starts by assuming
       what it is attempting to explain -- intelligence, complexity, it
       comes to the same thing -- and so it explains nothing. God is a
       non-explanation. Whereas evolution by natural selection /is/ an
       explanation. It really does start simply and become complex."

   [Sunday Telegraph (UK) interview with Richard Dawkins, Sept. 26, 1999]
%
"Evolution should be one of the first things you learn
 at school... and what do they [children] get instead?
 Sacred hearts and incense. Shallow, empty religion."
      [Sunday Telegraph (UK) interview with
       Richard Dawkins, Sept. 26, 1999]
%
"Then there are those who really do believe, but take very good care to
 separate their religion off in a separate part of their mind. They don't
 let clashing thoughts ever literally clash. Either they do it by only
 thinking about religion on Sunday, or they somehow manage to keep their
 religious thoughts separate from their scientific ones. Those are the
 ones I find least easy to understand. And then, of course, there are
 those who just aren't very bright."
            [Richard Dawkins, "A Trick of Light:
             Richard Dawkins on Science and Religion"]
%
"The Virgin Birth, the Resurrection, the raising of Lazarus, even the Old
 Testament miracles, all are freely used for religious propaganda, and they
 are very effective with an audience of unsophisticates and children. Every
 one of these miracles amounts to a violation of the normal running of the
 natural world. Theologians should make a choice. You can claim your own
 magisterium, separate from science's but still deserving of respect. But in
 that case, you must renounce miracles. Or you can keep your Lourdes and your
 miracles and enjoy their huge recruiting potential among the uneducated. But
 then you must kiss goodbye to separate magisteria and your high-minded
 aspiration to converge with science..."
             [Richard Dawkins, "Snake Oil and Holy Water,"
              in Forbes magazine, Oct. 4, 1999]
%
"Convergence? Only when it suits. To an honest judge, the alleged marriage
 between religion and science is a shallow, empty, spin-doctored sham."
             [Richard Dawkins, "Snake Oil and Holy Water,"
              in Forbes magazine, Oct. 4, 1999]
%
"Testosterone-sodden young men too unattractive to get a woman in this
 world might be desperate enough to go for 72 private virgins in the next."
                       [Richard Dawkins]
%
"To fill a world with religion... is like littering the streets
 with loaded guns. Do not be surprised if they are used."
                  [Richard Dawkins]
%
"I don't need religious bumfucks anymore, anymore..."
             [Dayglo Abortions]
%
All religions make me wanna throw up
All religions make me sick
All religions make me wanna throw up
All religions suck

The all claim that they have the truth
That'll set you free
Just give 'em all your money and they'll set you free
Free for a fee

They all claim that they have "the Answer"
When they don't even know the Question
They're just a bunch of liars
They just want your money
They just want your consciousness

All religions suck
All religions make me wanna throw up
All religions suck
All religions make me wanna BLEAH!

They really make me sick
They really make me sick
They really make me ILL!

 ["Religious Vomit", Dead Kennedys (from "In God We
  Trust, Inc.", Alternative Tentacles VIRUS 5), 1981]
%

  MORAL MAJORITY

You call yourselves the Moral Majority
We call ourselves the people of the real world
Trying to rub us out, but we're going to survive
God must be dead, if you're alive

You say, "God loves you. Come and buy the Good News"
Then you buy the president and swimming pools
If Jesus don't save 'till we're lining your pockets
God must be dead, if you're alive

Circus-tent con men and Southern belle bunnies
Milk your emotions then they steal your money
It's the new dark ages with the fascists toting bibles
Cheap nostalgia for the Salem Witch Trials

Stodgy ayatollahs in their double-knit ties
Burn lots of books so they can feed you their lies
Masturbating with a flag and a bible
God must be dead if you're alive

Blow it out your ass, Jerry Falwell
Blow it out your ass, Jessie Helms
Blow it out your ass, Ronald Regan
What's wrong with a mind of my own?

You don't want abortions you want battered children
You want to ban the pill as if that solves the problem
Now you wanna force us to pray in school
God must be dead if you're such a fool

You're planning for a war with or without Iran
Building a police state with the Klu Klux Klan
Pissed at your neighbour? Don't bother to nag
Pick up the phone and turn in a fag

Blow it out your ass, Terry Dolan
Blow it out your ass, Phyllis Schlafly
Ram it up your cunt, Anita
'Cause God must be dead
If you're alive
God must be dead
If you're alive

  ["Religious Vomit", Dead Kennedys/Jello Biafra (from "In
   God We Trust, Inc.", Alternative Tentacles VIRUS 5), 1981]
%
"God told me to skin you alive"
  [Dead Kennedys, "I Kill Children" from
   "Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables"]
%
"You've got a Methodist Coloring Book
 And you color really well
 But don't color outside the lines
 Or God will send you to hell"
  [Dead Milkmen, "Methodist Coloring Book"]
%
"...this monkey mythology of Darwin is the cause of permissiveness,
 promiscuity, prophylactics, perversions, pregnancies, abortions,
 pornotherapy, pollution, poisoning and proliferation of crimes of all types."
         [Judge Braswell Dean, in Time Magazine, March 1981]
%
"The virgin mother story was easily acceptable to the Roman people, because
 they were already psychologically conditioned to the same established myth
 of the vestal virgin Rhea Silva and her godly son Romulus."
       [Dr. Wally F. Dean, "The Mania of Religion", 1995, p. 103]
%
"The use of the astrological zodiac in the Bible has been well established,
 and without much question, the twelve zodiacal gods have come down to us as
 the twelve apostles. The shepherd's crook used by the Egyptians' Osiris was
 used for the bishops' and popes' crozier. They transformed his ankh, the
 phallic sign of life, into the Christian cross, and they copied the high-
 pointed headdress of Osiris as their prototype for Saint Peter's papal tiara.
 There could only be four gospels written. The reason there are only four
 biblical gospels was because Saint Jerome believed in the four cardinal gods
 of the zodiac. But who was father of the four "cardinal" gods of the zodiac?
 Yes, indeed! It was the divine Egyptian son Horus, whose birthday was on the
 25th of December long before there was a biblical Jesus."
       [Dr. Wally F. Dean, "The Mania of Religion", 1995, p. 106]
%
"Bruno Bauer, a biblical student and professor at a Berlin University, openly
 wrote in 1840 that Jesus was a creation of several Roman aristocrats. Ernest
 Renan, a former Jesuit student, put forth the same view in his book The Life
 of Jesus. Meanwhile, others who have studied and researched the Jesus story
 emphatically disavow the historical reality of the biblical Jesus."
       [Dr. Wally F. Dean, "The Mania of Religion", 1995, p. 119]
%
"The Bible is a mimicking conglomeration of ancient myths and legends,
 and if I weren't positively sure of that, I wouldn't have written this book
 and embarrassed myself again. My purpose is to try to spare the human
 species from the tyranny and mania of religions. When people all around
 the world finally become aware of what religion is--it will cure the most
 devastating illness man has been forced to endure."
      [Dr. Wally F. Dean, "The Mania of Religion", 1995, p. 307]
%
"...And whereas it has also come to the knowledge of the said Congregation
 that the Pythagorean doctrine -- which is false and altogether opposed to
 the Holy Scripture -- of the motion of the Earth and the immobility of the
 Sun, which is also taught by Nicolaus Copernicus in De Revolutionibus
 orbium coelestium, and by Diego de Zuiga on Job, is now being spread
 abroad and accepted by many... Therefore, in order that this opinion may
 not insinuate itself any further to the prejudice of Catholic truth, the
 Holy Congregation has decreed that the said Nicolaus Copernicus, De
 Revolutionibus orbium, and Diego de Zuiga, On Job, be suspended until they
 are corrected.
       [Decree of the Roman Catholic Congregation of the Index
        condemning "De Revolutionibus", March 5, 1616]
%
"The Catholic Church... upheld feudalism, then monarchism, warning
 of growing evils and possible revolutions.  In the same manner,
 and under the same reservations, she now upholds capitalism; but,
 above all things and forever, she upholds the Catholic Church."
       [Daniel DeLeon, The Vatican in Politics, 1891]
%
"The capitalist class is interested in keeping the workingmen
 divided among themselves.  Hence it foments race and religious
 animosities that come down from the past."
     [Daniel DeLeon, Two Pages from Roman History, 1903]
%
"Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion."
                           [Democritus]
%
"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes
 to be true he generally believes to be true."
  [Demosthenes, Third Olynthiac, sct. 19 (349 BCE)]
%
"There are all kinds of devices invented for the protection and preservation
 of countries: defensive barriers, forts, trenches and the like. All these
 are the work of human hands aided by money. But prudent minds have as a
 natural gift one safegaurd which is the common possession of all, especially
 to the dealings of democracies with dictatorships. What is this safeguard?
 Skepticism. This you must preserve. This you must retain. If you can keep
 this, you need fear no harm."
                [Demosthenes, 2nd Phillipic Oration]
%
"If you want to *reason* about faith, and offer a reasoned (and reason-
 responsive) defense of faith as an extra category of belief worthy of
 special consideration, I'm eager to play. I certainly grant the existence
 of the phenomenon of faith; what I want to see is a reasoned ground for
 taking faith seriously as a *way of getting to the truth*, and not, say,
 just as a way people comfort themselves and each other (a worthy function
 that I do take seriously).  But you must not expect me to go along with
 your defence of faith as a path to truth if at any point you appeal to the
 very dispensation you are supposedly trying to justify.  Before you appeal
 to faith when reason has you backed into a corner, think about whether you
 really want to abandon reason when reason is on your side."
          [Daniel C. Dennett "Darwin's Dangerous Idea"]
%
"I think that there are no forces on this planet more dangerous to us all
 than the fanaticisms of fundamentalism, of all the species: Protestantism,
 Catholicism, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism, as well as countless
 smaller infections. Is there a conflict between science and religion here?
 There most certainly is."
         [Daniel C. Dennett, "Darwin's Dangerous Idea"]
%
"In the beginning, there were no reasons; there were only causes.
 Nothing had a purpose, nothing has so much as a function; there
 was no teleology in the world at all."
    [Daniel C. Dennett, _Consciousness Explained_ (Boston:
     Little, Brown and Company, 1991), p. 173]
%
"The haven all memes depend on reaching is the human mind, but a human mind
 is itself an artifact created when memes restructure a human brain in order
 to make it a better habitat for memes. The avenues for entry and departure
 are modified to suit local conditions, and strengthened by various artificial
 devices that enhance fidelity and prolixity of replication: native Chinese
 minds differ dramatically from native French minds, and literate minds differ
 from illiterate minds. What memes provide in return to the organisms in which
 they reside is an incalculable store of advantages --- with some Trojan
 horses thrown in for good measure..."
              [Daniel Dennett, "Consciousness Explained"]
%
"... there could be talking bunny rabbits, spiders who write English messages
 in their webs, and for that matter, melancholy choo-choo trains. There could
 be, I suppose, but there aren't--so my theory doesn't have to explain them."
                          [Daniel Dennett]
%
"...but I also can't prove that mushrooms could
 not be intergalactic spaceships spying on us."
            [Daniel Dennett]
%
Girl of sixteen, whole life ahead of her
Slashed her wrists, bored with life
Didn't succeed, thank the Lord
For small mercies

Fighting back the tears, mother reads the note again
candles burn in her mind
She takes the blame, it's always the same
She goes down on her knees and prays

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find Him laughing

Girl of eighteen, fell in love with everything
Found new life in Jesus Christ
Hit by a car, ended up
On a life support machine

Summer's day, as she passed away
Birds were singing in the summer sky
Then came the rain, and once again
A tear fell from her mother's eye

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find Him laughing

  [Depeche Mode, "Blasphemous Rumours"
   from "Some Great Reward", Mute CDSTUMM19]
%
"The time has come for atheists, agnostics, skeptics, and humanists to
 come out of the closet and to openly confront the religious hegemony in
 America that has created a political correctness so powerful that even
 the most courageous are afraid to violate it openly."
            [Alan M. Dershowitz,  F.I. Mag. Summer 1999]
%
"The seeker after truth must, once in the course of his life, doubt everything,
 as far as is possible.  What is doubtful should even be considered as false.
 This doubt should not, meanwhile, be applied to ordinary life."
        [Descartes, 1-3rd Principles of Human Knowledge]
%
"Perhaps the greatest lesson [Huxley] learned from reading Carlyle
 was that real religion, that emotive feeling for Truth and Beauty,
 could flourish in the absence of an idolatrous theology."
            [Adrian Desmond, "Huxley", p.79]
%
"Untouched people; not necessarily noble savages, but apparently happy
 ones.  They lived in a land of plenty, ready to share their bananas
 and guavas and coconuts. They were to be envied for their 'primitive
 simplicity and kind-heartedness'. Where was that 'malady of thought'
 afflicting industrial England? [Huxley] realized that 'civilization
 as we call it would be rather a curse than a blessing to them'. Huxley
 knew the fate in store for them, slamming the 'mistaken goodness of
 the "Stigginses" of Exeter Hall, who would send missionaries to these
 men to tell them that they will all infallibly be damned'."
          [Adrian Desmond, "Huxley", p. 120, on Huxley
           encountering natives on a remote island]
%
"Science was tearing through the 'fine-spun ecclesiastical cobwebs'
 to behold a new cosmos, in which our Earth is merely an 'eccentric
 speck'-- a world of evolution 'and unchanging causation'. It invited
 new ways of thinking. It demanded a new rationale for belief. With
 science's truths the only accessible ones, 'blind faith' was no
 longer admirable but 'the one unpardonable sin'."
               [Adrian Desmond, "Huxley", p. 345]
%
"A man got up [after one of Huxley's 'sermons'] and said 'they
 had never heard anything like that in Norwich before'. Never
 'did Science seem so vast and mere creeds so little'."
               [Adrian Desmond, "Huxley", p. 366]
%
When Yahweh your god has settled you in the land you're about
 to occupy, and driven out many infidels before you...you're to
 cut them down and exterminate them.  You're to make no compromise
 with them or show them any mercy.
                   [Deut. 7:1 (KJV)]
%
"Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that
 every subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be
 submitted to a certain publicity and impartiality.  All proffered
 samples of learning must go to the same assay-room and be subjected to
 common tests.  It is the essence of all dogmatic faiths to hold that
 any such "show-down" is sacrilegious and perverse.  The characteristic
 of religion, from their point of view, is that it is intellectually
 secret, not public; peculiarly revealed, not generally known;
 authoritatively declared, not communicated and tested in ordinary
 ways...It is pertinent to point out that, as long as religion is
 conceived as it is now by the great majority of professed religionists,
 there is something self-contradictory in speaking of education in
 religion in the same sense in which we speak of education in topics
 where the method of free inquiry has made its way.  The "religious"
 would be the last to be willing that either the history or the
 content of religion should be taught in this spirit; while those
 to whom the scientific standpoint is not merely a technical device,
 but is the embodiment of the integrity of mind, must protest against
 its being taught in any other spirit.
        [John Dewey, "Democracy in the Schools", 1908]
%
"It (modern philosophy) certainly exacts a surrender of all
 supernaturalism and fixed dogma and rigid institutionalism with
 which Christianity has been historically associated."
                    [John Dewey]
%
"Intellectually, religious emotions are not creative
 but conservative. They attach themselves readily to
 the current view of the world and consecrate it."
               [John Dewey]
%
"Styles of sculpture, music, and dance used to vary greatly from village to
 village within New Guinea.  Some villagers along the Sepik River and in the
 Asmat swamps produced carvings that are now world-famous because of their
 quality. But New Guinea villagers have been increasing coerced or seduced
 into abandoning their artistic traditions.  When I visited an isolated
 triblet of 578 people at Bomai in 1965, the missionary controlling the only
 store had just manipulated the people into burning all their art.
 Centuries of unique cultural development ("heathen artifacts," as the
 missionary put it) had thus been destroyed in one morning."
    [Jared Diamond, _The Third Chimpanzee: The Evolution and Future
     of the Human Animal_, 1992, Harper Collins, New York, page 231]
%
"...the official religions and patriotic fervor of many states make their
 troops willing to fight suicidally.  The latter willingness is one so strongly
 programmed into us citizens of modern states, by our schools and churches and
 governments, that we forget what a radical break it makes with previous human
 history. .... Naturally, what makes patriotic and religious fanatics such
 dangerous opponents is not the deaths of the fanatics themselves, but their
 willingness to accept the deaths of a fraction of their number in order to
 annihilate or crush their infidel enemy. Fanaticism in war, of the type that
 drove recorded Christian and Islamic conquests, was probably unknown on Earth
 until chiefdoms and especially states emerged within the last 6,000 years."
              [Jared Diamond, "Guns, Germs and Steel: The
               Fate of Human Societies",  pp 281-282]
%
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".
                     [Philip K. Dick]
%
"Missionaries are perfect nuisances and
 leave every place worse than they found it."
        [Charles Dickens]
%
"I believe the spreading of Catholicism to be the most horrible
 means of political and social degredation left in the world."
                 [Charles Dickens]
%
"To prove the Gospels by a miracle is to prove an
 absurdity by something contrary to nature."
              [Diderot]
%
"I have only a small flickering light to guide me in the darkness
 of a thick forest.  Up comes a theologian and blows it out."
                 [Denis Diderot]
%
"It is very important not to mistake hemlock for parsley,
 but to believe or not believe in God is not important at all."
                 [Denis Diderot]
%
"What has not been examined impartially has not been well
 examined. Skepticism is therefore the first step toward truth."
       [Denis Diderot, "Pensees philosophiques"]
%
"The Judaical and Christian theology show us a partial god who chooses or
 rejects, who loves or hates, according to his caprice; in short, a tyrant
 who plays with his creatures; who punishes in this world the whole human
 species for the crimes of a single man; who predestines the greater number
 of mortals to be his enemies, to the end that he may punish them to all
 eternity, for having received from him the liberty of declaring against him."
     [Denis Diderot, Footnote to d'Holbach's "The System of Nature"]
%
"When God, from whom I have my reason, demands of me to sacrifice it, he
 becomes a mere juggler that snatches from me what he pretended to give."
        [Denis Diderot, "A Philosophical Conversation," 1777]
%
"The true religion, interesting the whole human race at all times and
 in all situations, ought to be eternal, universal, and self-evident;
 whereas the religions pretended to be revealed having none of these
 characteristics, are consequently demonstrated to be false."
      [Attributed to Diderot, possibly written by translater
       Julian Hibbert in "Thoughts On Religion", 1770]
%
"The myths about Hades and the gods, though they
 are pure invention, help to make men virtuous."
     [Diodorus Siculus, about 20 B.C.]
%
"When I look upon seamen, men of physical science, and philosophers,
 man is the wisest of all beings.  When I look upon priests, prophets,
 and interpreters of dreams, nothing is so contemptible as man."
                 [Diogenes (412-323 B.C.E.)]
%
"Where knowledge ends, religion begins."
       [Benjamin Disraeli]
%
"The inability or unwillingness to hate makes a person worthless.
 If we do not hate detestable things, the quality of our character
 is suspect.  The Bible commands that we hate."
   [H. A. (Buster) Dobbs, Editor of Firm Foundation magazine
    and Church of Christ preacher, from the June 1994 issue.]
%
"Let me try to make crystal clear what is established beyond reasonable
 doubt, and what needs further study, about evolution.  Evolution as a
 process that has always gone on in the history of the earth can be doubted
 only by those who are ignorant of the evidence or are resistant to evidence,
 owing to emotional blocks or to plain bigotry. By contrast, the mechanisms
 that bring evolution about certainly need study and clarification. There
 are no alternatives to evolution as history that can withstand critical
 examination.  Yet we are constantly learning new and important facts about
 evolutionary mechanisms."
   [Theodosius Dobzhansky "Nothing in Biology Makes Sense Except in the
    Light of Evolution", American Biology Teacher vol.35 (March 1973)
    reprinted in EVOLUTION VERSUS CREATIONISM, J. Peter Zetterberg ed.,
    ORYX Press, Phoenix AZ 1983]
%
"If you truly turned yourself over to competent psychological help,
 they can lead you from your misguided attempts to butt into other
 people's lives using Jesus as your excuse for such rude behavior."
                     [James Doemer]
%
"When the preacher asks us to have faith, he asks for obedience, obedience
 without question. We must accept unthinkingly whatever he tells us is so.
 When Shia and Sunni are asked to murder on the fields of battle, both
 following leaders who tell them they are then assured a place in Heaven,
 they obey. If the dead could return to set things straight, to tell us
 that "faith" is nothing more than nonsense institutionalized, the hate
 and murder of all "religious" conflicts would cease. There would be no
 crusades, inquisitions, witch hunts, and holy wars. There would be no Shia
 and Sunni, no Lutherans and Catholics, no religious sects of any kind,
 because there would be no "religions."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"The impression is given that a special kind of morality is affirmed by
 accepting the vagaries of religion without evidence.  But is it moral to
 accept uncritically every superstition, delusion, or prejudice our pulpiteers
 espouse?  Is not the faith that we are told is holy, the trust in Divinity
 that we are told is our duty, the certitude that a complete rejection of
 reason is moral behavior - all of this - nothing more than abject credulity,
 a complete surrender of our unique, personal sovereign identity?  When "false"
 or "true" become irrelevant and a blanket assent regardless of the nature of
 that which we are asked to believe is considered sane behavior, do we not
 resign ourselves to slavery?  When acceptance is on the basis of infallible
 authority and not on the basis of personal, reasoned conviction, have we
 not relinquished something very precious - our natural, temperamental
 individuality?  Is not the mind of one who accepts blindly, precisely the
 mind of a production-line robot, the mind of one who goes through life
 oblivious of meaning and values, bereft of the hope of injecting sense into
 the profusion of nonsense that threatens to engulf us? Is this the faith we
 are told is good?"
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"It has been said that faith dies the death of a thousand qualifications.
 Faith inevitably meets the same fate when it is continually attenuated
 with rambling, nondescript, and pretentious definitions. The liberating
 truth, of course, is that the readiness with which the term faith evokes
 sobering qualifications and erratic definitions betrays the superficial
 manner in which it is used by religionists."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"Faith will survive all superstitions, compelling men to think in terms of
 their own destiny and the responsibility they themselves have in forging
 that destiny. No one explains how declarations that are manufactured out of
 whole cloth, that have absolutely no predictive content and therefore no
 demonstrable connection with our lives as we live them day by day, are
 supposed to serve as a guide for planning our future. What such declarations
 do is to condition every nervous system that takes them seriously that it is
 perfectly sane to ignore the world in which we live, and to live instead in
 a world of pure fantasy. The man who is willing to accept the doctrine of
 Christian faith is one who is willing to relinquish all hope of knowing the
 truth. He accepts all, doubts never, vegetates. He is a slave, a hollow shell
 into which others can pour all manner of stupidities. Having a conscience,
 being honest, are empty phrases for him, as he has relinquished his own right
 to think and is acting only because others are acting through him. He refuses
 to be honest with himself, no longer talks things over with himself, no longer
 meditates, contemplates; he only absorbs like a sponge, without discrimination.
 If he has convictions, they are metamorphized and petrified lies, and not even
 his own lies but those of colleagues, priests, and politicians who want to use
 him. If to accept blindly, without the play of reason, is faith, it follows
 then that what the world needs is not more faith, but more people who think
 with their own heads and not with the heads of others."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"Faith in the sense that religionists use the term, it turns out, is
 equivalent to the loss of confidence of the individuals of the human
 species to achieve their goals on their own.  This seems to be borne
 out by the adherence to religion among the poor, the spread of religion
 in times of depression and conflict, and the greater success of all
 religions to proselytize among deprived populations wherever they may be.
 It may also explain the lack of initiative clearly evident among the
 fanatically religious who see little point in struggling for a better
 world when they are only nonentities in a vast system of omnipotent
 forces and obscure agencies beyond their abilities to understand or
 control. Men who are liberated from all such folderol are able to work
 with serenity and unshakable confidence in their own abilities to achieve."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"Faith, as the theologians and other mystics use the term, is the capacity to
 accept as "true" declarations that have no predictive content. It is their
 way of asking us to believe something for no other reason than because they
 say it is so. In quoting the Council of Trent, "He who is gifted with
 heavenly knowledge of faith is free from an inquisitive curiosity." Walter
 Lippmann in 'A Preface to Morals' adds: "These words are rasping to our
 modern ears, but there is no occasion to doubt that the men who uttered them
 had made a shrewd appraisal of average human nature."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"Reason and faith are completely irreconcilable pathways to knowledge. The two
 cannot exist side by side. Reason underlies the methodology of the scientist.
 Without it he would be ineffectual. Faith is the "being" of the "religionist."
 Without it he could not exist. The scientist accepts nothing on faith. Faith
 to him is a synonym for belief. In Hebrews 11:1 we read: "Faith is the
 substance of things desired, the evidence of things unseen." The "religionist"
 is ever alert to prevent reason from undermining his precepts. Reason is his
 (and God's) worst enemy. Reason is our means of processing what we learn of
 the world through our proverbial five senses. Faith does no processing;
 whatever sense (or nonsense) is accepted as is, without rational consideration.
 Those facts which reason allows us to accept must display consistency and
 predictability. There are no criteria to restrict that which we will accept
 on faith, as section 61 of this book shows. Those content to accept on faith
 are those who accept without thinking, without the rational demonstrations
 that establish the truth (predictive content) of what we believe. Faith is
 the road to myth and error, the way to add to man's already overflowing
 storehouse of "things he _knows_ but that are not so."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"Transactional psychologists have verified what most of us have known
 intuitively all along: that the stronger are a person's motives for certain
 interpretations of the data confronting him, the more likely are the chances
 that those will be the interpretations he will come up with, even though they
 be radically wrong. Said Andre Gide in 'Pretexts,' "Most often people seek in
 life occasions for persisting in their opinions rather than for educating
 themselves.... It seems as if the mind enjoys nothing more than sinking
 deeper into error." The person with the self-sealing system that Oppenheimer
 describes (section 18) cannot be convinced at all. He has become uncannily
 proficient at transmuting all experiential verification to conform to that
 which he wants to believe. He now has adequate defenses against countervailing
 evidence to discount almost anything that would prove detrimental to his
 cherished beliefs, to revamp information that threatens long-established
 convictions. Religious faith (which is just such a closed system), if strong
 enough, will protect a person from the arguments appearing in a book such as
 this, just as the faith of people who want to believe that their destinies
 lie in the stars is enough to protect them from the declarations of 186 noted
 scientists who feel it important to convince them that they are wrong.
 Bertrand Russell was talking about this kind of "religious" faith when, in
 'Human Society in Ethics and Politics', he tells us that he believes that all
 faiths do harm.  He defines faith as the belief in anything for which no
 evidence exists. If there is evidence, faith is not required. We do not need
 faith to believe that vinegar is bitter or that water is wet. We use the term
 faith only when emotion dominates reason. Faith, for Mencken, was a kind of
 clearing house for all the various conspiracies religionists contrive in order
 to deny or distort the facts that our senses present to us to make up what we
 call our existence. Faith, he was sure, is the force that foments the
 concerted attacks against what can be called a rational moral philosophy."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"But there is a kind of faith, as we all well know, that is an essential
 ingredient in the lives of all human beings. This faith is of a different
 sort, not faith in (or in the existence of) a pathologically jealous supreme
 being who would have us all wasting our valuable time in endless, meaningless
 rituals "glorifying his name." Nor is it faith in a mythological hell in
 which we will all fry for eternity who do not genuflect to this demeaning
 concept of the utter dependence of the human species. Alan Watts says in
 'The Book,' "Irrevocable commitment to any religion is not only intellectual
 suicide; it is positive unfaith because it closes the mind to any new vision
 of the world. Faith is, above all, openness - an act of trust in the unknown."
 What we need is faith in the boundless reach of an open mind. Having an open
 mind does not mean that we do not have firm convictions, but that we are not
 afraid of new ideas. Persons with firm convictions, well founded, need new
 ideas from time to time, against which they can constantly test their
 convictions in a changing world, perhaps to alter them or perhaps to make
 their convictions even more firm. If we are confident of the truth and
 validity of our convictions, whatever they may be, we have nothing to fear.
 We shall not serve our convictions, whatever they may be, by self-deception.
 Convictions that can be defended only by disregarding facts, lying to
 oneself and others, are not worth keeping."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"Man needs faith in his own potential, faith in his ability, within limits, to
 plan his own life. He must have faith that nature is subject to laws, that the
 earth will continue to turn on its axis, and the sun will continue for a few
 billion more years to warm the earth, and that there will be rain to make the
 plants grow and thus to maintain life on this planet. The very world itself is
 a matter of faith. It is an act of faith to believe that there exists a world
 beyond our own skins. Our faith is not to deny the unknown, to avoid it, or to
 pretend that the unknown is really known. Our faith is above all resolute
 belief in ourselves as sovereign individuals. We must understand that beyond
 ourselves there is no baleful influence bent on frustrating our hopes and
 plans - even those plagued constantly with difficulties. Nature, we must
 understand, is not deliberately malign nor deliberately benign; it is simply
 indifferent. With Amado Nervo (who gets the last word in this essay), we must
 see ourselves as the architect of our own destinies."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"The Reverend Robert H. Schuller, second to none in the multiformity of his
 televised effusions, gives us more than three hundred definitions of the word
 faith. He could go on forever. In his 'Tough-Minded Faith for Tender-Hearted
 People' [muddleminded faith for simpleminded people] Schuller makes it plain
 that "faith" can be dictum, psychological judgment, scientific proposition,
 or mystic symbolism. It can be whatever puritanical perception, frivolous
 fancy, arbitrary assumption, or capricious conviction. It can be both horse
 and vehicle, north and south, sinister and dexter, verso and recto, larboard
 and starboard.  There are no restrictions. Faith has so many meanings to
 Schuller that it is meaningless. Meaning everything, it means nothing - as is
 usually the case when religionists use the term faith."
    [Chester Dolan, "Holy Daze: Coming to Grips with "Religion," the Holy
     Daze of Humanity", "Faith" section, pp.130-135, MOPAH Publications]
%
"I am a theist," means, "I know that God exists." "I am an atheist"
 means, "I do not know that God exists." Appending the Greek prefix "a"
 could in no way be construed as meaning, I know that God does not exist."
                  [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"In the course of its learning and assimilating the culture in which it will
 grow up, the child's nervous system gets programmed in a particular way with
 respect to the mysterious relation of symbols and things which will create
 its later life. When this programming reaches a certain point, the behavior
 of the child becomes patterned in ways that are difficult ever to change.
 Other ways of behaving not parallel to these patterns are rejected, sometimes
 subtly, subconsciously, at other times deliberately, violently. The child's
 total reaction, physiological as well as linguistic, to the world in which
 he grows up may be independently flexible or it may be as submissively rigid
 as it usually is for those molded in an orthodox, totalitarian religion."
                  [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"Rigidly conforming children have a way of growing up to be rigidly conforming
 adults. They are not educated; they are formed. They are not trained to think,
 but to defend. They are not asked to reflect, but to memorize."
                  [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"The attraction of "religion" for many of its adherents is that its
 comforts help enable them to face the suffering, injustice, morality and
 meaninglessness of human life on this earth. But it is these comforts that
 often dissuade men from doing something about the ills humanity experiences.
 Too many of us become so encapsulated in our own comfortable world that we
 become blind to the adversities that beset our fellow man. We live in our
 own luxury, insulated from ugliness and doubt."
                   [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"When those living in the United States speak of the incompatibility of
 science and religion, it is almost invariably the Christian religion that
 has claimed their attention. No other religion in history has marshaled
 its forces so energetically to oppose and suppress astronomy, physics and
 the biological sciences. For many sects of Christianity, psychology and
 anthropology have been added as religion's principal adversaries."
                  [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"If there is a Hell with fire and brimstone, one must conclude that
 it was constructed solely for the special delectation of God, that
 he enjoys watching human beings (or is it their souls?) fry."
             [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"Not a lack of belief, but adherence to false knowledge is the
 enemy of progress. And certain that we have found everything
 worth searching for, we see no point in further search and inquiry.
 Believing what is unworthy of belief, believing falsehood as if it
 were incontrovertible truth, and sure that we know everything we
 will ever need to know, we are worse than ignorant."
             [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"To create a world in which reason is suspect, religious faith is
 a virtue, and doubt is regarded as sin, is to sanctify ignorance."
             [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"Religions which expect men to march in synchronized step and
 to chant stereotyped doctrines cease to serve free man in an
 open society. There can be no such thing as an open society
 peopled by a preponderance of closed minds."
             [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"The presence or absence of a God or the religions that postulate gods does
 not change what should and what should not be considered morality.  Human
 kindness will always be a good thing, God or no God. Attributing morality
 to the propensities of some kind of Deity is nothing more than quibbling.
 Here we have an "it is so because it is so," kind of pseudoreasoning."
                 [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"Until religionists can give up their use of the word "truth" to apply to
 whatever it suits their fancies to so label, to declarations that can in
 no way be verified by experience and therefore with no restrictions on
 their proliferation, there will be no reconciliation of science and religion."
                   [Chester Dolan, "Blind Faith"]
%
"Are we courting you?  Maybe we are, but what's wrong with
 that?  You are the glue that holds America together."
    [Bob Dole, to a rally of the Christian Coalition]
%
"For many years I have exhorted you in vain, with gentleness, preaching,
 praying and weeping.  But according to the proverb of my country,
 'where blessing can accomplish nothing, blows may avail.'  We shall
 rouse against you princes and prelates who, alas, will arm nations and
 kingdoms against this land...and thus blows will avail where blessings
 and gentleness have been powerless."
   [St. Dominic, to the heretical Albiginses, Encyclopedia Brittanica]
%
"I'm firmly convinced Michael Carneal is a Christian.
 He's a sinner, yes, but not an atheist."
    [Rev. Paul Donner, of the St. Paul Lutheran Church,
     Paducah, Ky., describing accused mass murderer
     Michael Carneal, 14, in contrast to early reports]
%
"In all of the colonies there was a law that Quakers and other heretics
 should be banished and, if they returned, could be executed; but only
 Massachusetts hung any Quakers - four of them, one a woman. They cut off
 the ears of others, branded some with hot irons, and beat them with
 iron rods and tarred ropes. The worst the Pilgrims ever did was put them
 in the stocks or imprison them for a while."
            ["The Mayflower Compact" by Frank R. Donovan,
              Gosset & Dunlap, New York, 1968]
%
"Where would Christianity be if Jesus got eight to
 fifteen years with time off for good behavior?"
  [NY State Senator James Donovan, speaking
   in support of capital punishment]
%
"You've got to put in your pew time and come by
 your disdain for religion honestly, like us."
        [Doonsbury cartoon]
%
"The race of men, while sheep in credulity, are wolves for conformity."
           [Carl Van Doren, "Why I Am an Unbeliever"]
%
"Religion is a disease. It is born of fear; it compensates through
 hate in the guise of authority, revelation.  Religion, enthroned
 in a powerful social organization, can become incredibly sadistic.
 No religion has been more cruel than the Christian."
                 [Dr. George A. Dorsey]
%
"Religion is not insanity but it is born of the stuff which makes
 for insanity. ...all religions perform the function of delusion."
                     [George Dorsey]
%
"I can find no room in my cosmos for a deity save as a waste
 product of human weakness, the excrement of the imagination."
        [George Norman Douglas, "South Wind" (1917)]
%
"The First Amendment commands government to have no interest in theology or
 ritual; it admonishes the government to be interested in allowing religious
 freedom to flourish -- whether the result is to produce Catholics, Jews, or
 Protestants, or to turn the people toward the path of Buddha, or to end in
 a predominantly Moslem nation, or to produce in the long run atheists or
 agnostics. On matters of this kind, government must remain neutral. This
 freedom plainly includes freedom from religion with the right to believe,
 speak, write, publish and advocate antireligious programs."
       [Justice William O. Douglas, dissent in McGowan v. Maryland]
%
"It is our attitude toward free thought and free expression that will
 determine our fate. There must be no limit on the range of temperate
 discussion, no limits on thought. No subject must be taboo. No censor
 must preside at our assemblies."
      [William O. Douglas, Address, Authors' Guild, Dec. 3, 1952]
%
"I prayed for twenty years but received
 no answer until I prayed with my legs."
  [Frederick Douglass, escaped slave]
%
"I assert most unhesitatingly, that the religion of the South is a mere
 covering for the most horrid crimes-- a justifier of the most appalling
 barbarity, a sanctifier of the most hateful frauds, and a dark shelter
 under which the darkest, foulest, grossest, and most infernal deeds of
 slaveholders find the strongest protection. Where I to be again reduced
 to the chains of slavery, next to that enslavement, I should regard being
 the slave of a religious master the greatest calamity that could befall
 me...I...hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering,
 partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land."
            [Frederick Douglass, "After the Escape"]
%
"Once, in a heated controversy over the wisdom of giving the
 Bible to slaves, he asserted that it would be 'infinitely
 better to send them a pocket compass and a pistol.'"
      [Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass]
%
"I bet you don't want anything about the Bible taught in school."
"If they teach Greek and Roman mythology, they should also teach
 Middle Eastern mythology."
     [Morton Downey, controversial TV talk-show host, to
      Rob Sherman, spokesman for American Atheists, on the show]
%
"How many times has the end of the world been predicted? The
 same number of times, the prediction has proved false."
   [Hugh Downs, "The End Is (Not) Nigh; Apocalypse
    Later", ABC News, (abcnews.com), August 26, 1998]
%
"Evolution does not require the nonexistance of God, it merely allows
 for it.  That alone is enough to evoke condemnation from those who
 fear the nonexistance of God more than they fear God Himself."
              [Keith Doyle, talk.origins posting]
%
"So, the Xian fundies want to slap the 10 commandments on the
 wall.  I guess our school kids have a real problem with
 committing adultery and carving idols during school hours."
      ["Dr. Monkeyspank" <drmonkeyspank@my-deja.com>]
%
"Geology shows that fossils are of different ages.  Paleontology shows a
 fossil sequence, the list of species represented changes through time.
 Taxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution is the
 explanation that threads it all together.  Creationism is the practice
 of squeeezing one's eyes shut and wailing "does not!".
             [Dr.Pepper@f241.n103.z1.fidonet.org]
%
"If thinking freely for yourself is a sure ticket to hell,
 then the conversations in heaven must be awfully boring."
      [San Francisco's infamous Dr. Weirde]
%
"Do not put your trust in such trinkets of deceit!"
           [Dracula, on the crucifix]
%
"How can the Church be received as a trustworthy guide in the
 invisible, which falls into so many errors in the visible?"
       [John W. Draper (1811-1882), U.S. chemist]
%
"Science has never sought to ally herself with civil power.
 She has never subjected anyone to mental torment, physical torment,
 least of all death, for the purpose of promoting her ideas."
         [John W. Draper (1811-1882) U.S. chemist]
%
"The Christian party asserted that all knowledge is to be found in the
 Scriptures and in the traditions of the Church; that, in the written
 revelation, God had not only given a criterion of truth, but had furnished
 us all that he intended us to know. The Scriptures, therefore, contain the
 sum, the end of all knowledge. The clergy, with the emperor at their back,
 would endure no intellectual competition......The Church thus set herself
 forth as the depository and arbiter of knowledge; she was ever ready to resort
 to the civil power to compel obedience to her decisions. She thus took a
 course which determined her whole future career: she became a stumbling-block
 in the intellectual advancement of Europe for more than a thousand years."
            [John William Draper, "History of the Conflict
             between Science and Religion", Chapter II]
%
"Life is no more assuring than love
 (It's time to take the time)
 There are no answers from voices above
 (It's time to take the time)
 You're fighting the weight of the world
 And no one can save you this time
 Close your eyes
 You can find all that you need in your mind"
    ["Take the Time", Dream Theater]
%
"If I were personally to define religion, I would say that it is a
 bandage that man has invented to protect a soul made bloody by
 circumstances.  All forms of dogmatic religion should go.  The world
 did without them in the past and can do so again.  I cite the great
 civilizations of China and India."
        [Theodore Dreiser, press interview, March 1941]
%
"He who will not reason, is a bigot;
 He who cannot, is a fool;
 And he who dares not, is a slave."
       [William Drummond]
%
"There was no deathbed conversion," Druyan says. "No appeals to God,
 no hope for an afterlife, no pretending that he and I, who had been
 inseparably for twenty years, were not saying goodbye forever."

"Didn't he want to believe?" she was asked.

 "Carl never wanted to believe," she replies fiercely. "He wanted to KNOW."
      [Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan's wife, from Newsweek magazine]
%
"I sit surrounded by cartons of mail from people all over the planet who
 mourn Carl's loss.  Many of them credit him with their awakenings.  Some
 of them say that Carl's example has inspired them to work for science
 and reason against the forces of superstition and fundamentalism.  These
 thoughts comfort me and lift me up out of my heartache.  They allow me
 to feel, without resorting to the supernatural, that Carl lives."
       ["Billions and Billions: Thoughts On Life and Death at
        the Brink of the Millennium", the last book by Carl Sagan;
        Epilogue by his wife, Ann Druyan, February 14, 1997]
%
"Contrary to the fantasies of the fundamentalists, there was no deathbed
 conversion, no last minute refuge taken in a comforting vision of a heaven
 or an afterlife. For Carl, what mattered most was what was true, not merely
 what would make us feel better.  Even at this moment when anyone would be
 forgiven for turning away from the reality of our situation, Carl was
 unflinching. As we looked deeply into each other's eyes, it was with a
 shared conviction that our wondrous life together was ending forever."
      ["Billions and Billions: Thoughts On Life and Death
       at the Brink of the Millennium", the last book by
       Carl Sagan; Epilogue by his wife, Ann Druyan]
%
"Every reasonable person knows that there are good people who believe in gods
 and good people who don't believe in gods. Like most Atheists, I do not rape,
 murder, or steal, I know right from wrong and don't need to follow a set of
 superstitious beliefs to live a moral life. The idea that only a religious
 person can be a good person is utterly ridiculous. In fact, perhaps it is
 the Atheists who are the truly good people; we try to do what is right not
 for the selfish reason of fear of some afterlife punishment but because we
 know it is the right thing to do."
        [Peter Dubral, Highland Park, NJ, from The Greater
         Philadelphia Story, Newsletter of The Freethought
         Society of Greater Philadelphia]
%
"I have too much respect for the idea of God to
 make it responsible for such an absurd world."
           [Georges Duhamel]
%
"All absolute power demoralizes its possessor. To that all history bears
 witness. And if it be a spiritual power which rules men's consciences,
 the danger is only so much greater, for the possession of such a power
 exercises a specially treacherous fascination, while it is peculiarly
 conducive to self-deceit, because the lust of dominion, when it has
 become a passion, is only too easily in this case excused under the
 plea of zeal for the salvation of others."
       [Professor J. H. von Dullinger -- who was subsequently
        excommunicated from the Roman Catholic church (1871)]
%
"If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which
 he has inflicted upon men, He would kill himself."
              [Alexander Dumas]
%
"Skeptics Everywhere.
  Have you noticed that no matter how sick the Pope gets, they never even
     consider taking him to Lourdes?
  The Ten Commandments make Prohibition look like a stroke of genius."
      [Tom Dunker, in Horseshit #1, a 1965 hippie-type magazine]
%
"Just as Philo, learned in Greek speculation, had felt a need to rephrase
 Judaism in forms acceptable to the logic-loving Greeks, so John, having
 lived for two generations in a Hellenistic environment, sought to give a
 Greek philosophical tinge to the mystic Jewish doctrine that the Wisdom
 of God was a living being, and to the Christian doctrine that Jesus was
 the Messiah. Consciously or not, he continued Paul's work of detaching
 Christianity from Judaism. Christ was no longer presented as a Jew, living
 more or less under the Jewish Law; he was make to address the Jews as
 "you," and to speak of their Law as "yours"; he was not a Messiah sent
 "to save the lost sheep of Israel," he was the coeternal Son of God; not
 merely the future judge of mankind, but the primeval creator of the
 universe. In this perspective the Jewish life of the man Jesus could
 be put into the background, faded almost as in Gnostic heresy; and the
 god Christ was assimilated to the religious and philosophical traditions
 of the Hellenistic mind. Now the pagan world-- even the anti-Semitic
 world--could accept him as its own."
        [Will and Ariel Durant, _The Story of Civilization_]
%
"Christianity did not destroy paganism; it adopted it. The Greek mind
 dying, came to a tranmigrated life in the theology and liturgy of the
 Church; the Greek language, having reigned for centuries over philosophy,
 became the vehicle of Christian literature and ritual; the Greek mysteries
 passed down into the impressive mystery of the Mass.  Other pagan cultures
 contributed to the syncretist result. From Egypt came the ideas of a divine
 trinity, the Last Judgement, and a personal immortality of reward and
 punishment; from Egypt the adoration of the Mother and Child, and the mystic
 theosophy that made Neoplatonism and Gnosticism, and obscured the Christian
 creed; there, too, Christian moanasticism would find itsw exemplars and its
 source. From Phrygia came the worship of the Great Mother; from Syria the
 resurrection drama of Adonis; from Thrace, perhaps the cult of Dionysus, the
 dying and saving god. From Persia came millennarianism, the "ages of the
 world," the "final conflagration," the dualism of Satan and God, of Darkness
 and Light; already in the Forth Gospel Christ is the "Light shining in the
 darkness, and the darkness has never put it out." The Mithraic ritual so
 closely resemled the eucharistic sacrifice of the Mass that Christian fathers
 charged the Devil with inventing these similarities to mislead frail minds.
 Christianity was the last great creation of the ancient pagan world."
          [Will and Ariel Durant, _The Story of Civilization_]
%
"With the judgment of the angels and the sentence of the saints, we
 anathematize, execrate, curse and cast out Baruch de Spinoza, the whole
 of the sacred community assenting, in presence of the sacred books with
 the six hundred and thirteen precepts written therein, pronouncing
 against him the malediction wherewith Elisha cursed the children, and
 all the maledictions written in the Book of the Law.  /.../  Let him be
 accursed by day, and accursed by night; let him be accursed in his lying
 down, and accursed in his rising up; accursed in going out and accursed
 in coming in.  May the Lord never more pardon or acknowledge him; may the
 wrath and displeasure of the Lord burn henceforth against this man, load
 him with all the curses written in the Book of the Law, and blot out his
 name from under the sky."
     [Jewish community of Amsterdam, excommunication of Spinoza,
      27 July 1656, quoted by Will Durant in _The Story of Philosophy_;
      also George Seldes, _The Great Quotations_, 1983]
%
"The truth is that people will always demand a religion phrased in
 imagery and haloed with the supernatural.  They don't want science;
 they are in mortal terror of it, for the one sermon of science is
 that all life eats other life and that all life must die.  The
 masses will never accept science until it gives them an earthly
 paradise.  As long as there is poverty, there will be gods."
       [Will Durant, "The Mansions of Philosophy", 1929]
%
"Got no religion. Tried a bunch of different religions. The churches
 are divided. Can't make up their minds and neither can I."
                        [Bob Dylan]
%
"We've satisfied our endless needs,
 And justified our bloody deeds,
 In the name of Destiny,
 And in the Name of god"
  [Eagles,"The Last Resort"]
%
"God says do what you wish, but make the wrong choice and you will be
 tortured for eternity in hell.  That sir, is not free will.  It would be akin
 to a man telling his girlfriend, do what you wish, but if you choose to leave
 me,  I will track you down and blow your brains out.  When a man says this we
 call him a psychopath and cry out for his imprisonment/execution.  When god
 says the same we call him "loving" and build churches in his honor."
              [William C. Easttom II, skeptic@icon.net]
%
"So behold here the triumph God's wisdom has won.
 Behold here the damage that can't be undone.
 Stagnation is good, and we're good to the core,
 while faith rots us like salt rots the land

 If your god helps the helpless, may he help you all well.
 I'm bound for the outside to find my own hell.
 If defiance means death, I would die before stand
 like a sheep to be thrown to God's hand."
     [Julia Ecklar, "The Hand of God"
      from the album _Divine Intervention_]
%
"Fear prophets ... and those prepared to die for the
 truth, for as a rule they make many others die with
 them, often before them, at times instead of them."
                  [Umberto Eco]
%
"Whenever a poet or preacher, chief or wizard spouts gibberish,
 the human race spends centuries deciphering the message."
                   [Umberto Eco]
%
"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a
 harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt
 to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
                   [Umberto Eco]
%
"I believe that you can reach the point where there is no longer
 any difference between developing the habit of pretending to
 believe and developing the habit of believing."
                     [Umberto Eco]
%
"When we traded the results of our fantasies, it seemed to us--and
 rightly-- that we had proceeded by unwarranted associations, by
 shortcuts so extraordinary that, if anyone had accused us of
 really believing them, we would have been ashamed."
                    [Umberto Eco]
%
"All of us were slowly losing that intellectual light that allows you always
 to tell the similar from the identical, the metaphorical from the real."
                          [Umberto Eco]
%
"I'm not saying that all religion is a pack of lies...
 I'm just saying that all religion is indistinguishable from a pack of lies."
               [Ralph Edington, ralph@edington.com]
%
"Christian Science repudiates the evidences of the senses and rests upon the
 supremacy of God.  Christian healing . . . places no faith in hygiene or
 drugs; it reposes all faith in mind, in spiritual power divinely directed."
          [Mary Baker Eddy, on Christian Science "healing"]
%
"My mind is incapable of conceiving such a thing as a soul.  I may be
 in error, and man may have a soul; but I simply do not believe it."
              [Thomas Edison, "Do We Live Again?"]
%
"All Bibles are man-made."
     [Thomas Edison]
%
"So far as religion of the day is concerned, it
 is a damned fake... Religion is all bunk."
          [Thomas Edison]
%
"I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories
 of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God."
             [Thomas Alva Edison, "Columbian Magazine"]
%
"I do not believe that any type of religion should ever be
 introduced into the public schools of the United States."
          [Thomas Edison, "Do We Live Again?"]
%
"Because the primary purpose of the Creationism Act is to endorse a particular
 religious belief, the Act furthers religion in violation of the Establishment
 Clause. ...The pre-eminent purpose of the Louisiana Legislature was clearly to
 advance the religious viewpoint that a supernatural being created humankind.
 ...The Act violates the Establishment Clause because it seeks to employ the
 symbolic and financial support of government to achieve a religious purpose."
             [US Supreme Court, Edwards v. Aguillard, 1987]
%
"The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or
 some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked,
 his wrath towards you burns like fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to
 have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his
 eyes than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.  You have offended
 him infinitely more than ever a stubborn rebel did his prince; and yet it is
 nothing but his hand that holds you from falling into the fire every moment.
 It is to be ascribed to nothing else, that you did not go to hell the last
 night, that you was [sic] suffered to awake again in this world, after you
 closed your eyes to sleep."
     ["Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God," preached July 8, 1741.
      In Ola Elizabeth Winslow, ed., Jonathon Edwards: Basic writings
      (New York:  New American Library, 1966) p. 159.]
%
"I am totally convinced...that all the metaphysical claims of traditional
 religions are untenable; and I am equally convinced that, although here
 and there religious institutions may have done some good, for the most
 part they have caused a great deal of harm and mischief. in the short
 run, the dislocations and the sense of loss that accompany the decline
 of religious belief and of the authoritarian and repressive morality
 associated with it are likely to produce some distress and confusion. In
 the long run, however, the decline of religion will be of incalculable
 benefit to the human race."
                 [Paul Edwards, N.Y.C., 1985]
%
"...a doctrine which is able to maintain itself not in clear light but only
 in the dark, will of necessity lose its effect on mankind, with incalculable
 harm to human progress. In their struggle for the ethical good, teachers of
 religion must have the stature to give up the doctrine of a personal God,
 that is, give up that source of fear and hope which in the past placed such
 vast power in the hands of priests.... The further the spiritual evolution
 of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine
 religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and
 blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge."
        [Albert Einstein, address at the Princeton Theological
         Seminary, May 19, 1939, published in _Out of My Later
         Years_, New York: Philosophical Library, 1950.]
%
"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious.  It is the
 fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science.
 Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as
 good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed.  It was the experience of mystery--
 even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.  A knowledge of the
 existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest
 reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms
 are accessible to our minds -- it is this knowledge and this emotion that
 constitute true religiosity; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a
 deeply religious man."
               [Albert Einstein,_The World as I See It_]
%
"The mystical trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant
 growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a
 symptom of weakness and confusion.  Since our inner experiences consist of
 reproductions, and combinations of sensory impressions, the concept of a soul
 without a body seem to me to be empty and devoid of meaning."
             [Albert Einstein, letter of 5 February 1921]
%
"If people are good only because they fear punishment,
 and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."
               [Albert Einstein]
%
"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth
 and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."
               [Albert Einstein]
%
"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the "Universe," a part
 limited in time and space.  He experiences himself, his thoughts and
 feelings, as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical
 delusion of his consciousness.  This delusion is a kind of prison for
 us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few
 persons nearest us.  Our task must be to free ourselves from this
 prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living
 creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
                      [Albert Einstein]
%
"What I see in Nature is a magnificent structure that we can comprehend
 only very imperfectly, and that must fill a thinking person with a
 feeling of "humility."  This is a genuinely religious feeling that
 has nothing to do with mysticism."
                    [Albert Einstein]
%
"The foundation of morality should not be made dependent on myth nor tied
 to any authority lest doubt about the myth or about the legitimacy of the
 authority imperil the foundation of sound judgement and action."
                       [Albert Einstein]
%
"I cannot believe that God plays dice with the cosmos."
    [Albert Einstein, published after his death in 1955 in
     the London Observer, 5 April 1964, on his problems
     with quantum mechanics and not, as popularly
     misinterpreted, an expression of religious belief.]
%
"The minority, the ruling class at present, has the schools and press,
 usually the Church as well, under its thumb.  This enables it to
 organize and sway the emotions of the masses, and make its tool of them."
      [Albert Einstein, letter to Sigmund Freud, 30 July 1932]
%
"You will hardly find one among the profounder sort of scientific minds
 without a religious feeling of his own.  But it is different from the
 religiosity of the naive man.  For the latter, God is a being from whose
 care one hopes to benefit and whose punishment one fears; a sublimation of
 a feeling similar to that of a child for its father, a being to whom one
 stands, so to speak, in a personal relation, however deeply it may be
 tinged with awe.

 But the scientist is possessed by the sense of universal causation...
 There is nothing divine about morality; it is a purely human affair. His
 religious feeling takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony
 of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that,
 compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings
 is an utterly insignificant reflection... It is beyond question closely
 akin to that which has possessed the religious geniuses of all ages."
    [Albert Einstein, Mein Weltbild, Amsterdam: Querido Verlag, 1934]
%
"I received your letter of June 10th. I have never talked to a
 Jesuit priest in my life and I am astonished by the audacity
 to tell such lies about me.  From the viewpoint of a Jesuit
 priest I am, of course, and have always been an atheist."
    [Albert Einstein to Guy H. Raner Jr, July 2, 1945,
     responding to a rumor that a Jesuit priest had caused
     Einstein to convert from atheism.  Article by Michael
     R. Gilmore in Skeptic magazine, Vol. 5, No. 2, 1997]
%
"I have repeatedly said that in my opinion the idea of a personal God is a
 childlike one. You may call me an agnostic, but I do not share the
 crusading spirit of the professional atheist whose fervor is mostly due to
 a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination
 received in youth. I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the
 weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own being."
      [Albert Einstein to Guy H. Raner Jr., Sept. 28, 1949,
       from article by Michael R. Gilmore in Skeptic
       magazine, Vol. 5, No. 2, 1997]
%
"The idea of a personal God is an anthropological
 concept which I am unable to take seriously."
        [Albert Einstein, letter to
         Hoffman and Dukas, 1946]
%
"If this being is omnipotent, then every occurrence, including every human
 action, every human thought, and every human feeling and aspiration is also
 His work; how is it possible to think of holding men responsible for their
 deeds and thoughts before such an almighty Being? In giving out punishment
 and rewards He would to a certain extent be passing judgment on Himself.
 How can this be combined with the goodness and righteousness ascribed to Him?"
              [Albert Einstein, "Out of My Later Years"]
%
"The road to this paradise was not as comfortable and alluring
 as the road to the religious paradise; but it has shown itself
 reliable, and I have never regretted having chosen it."
               [Albert Einstein]
%
"The religious feeling engendered by experiencing the logical comprehensibility
 of profound interrelations is of a somewhat different sort from the feeling
 that one usually calls religious. It is more a feeling of awe at the scheme
 that is manifested in the material universe. It does not lead us to take the
 step of fashioning a god-like being in our own image-a personage who makes
 demands of us and who takes an interest in us as individuals. There is in this
 neither a will nor a goal, nor a must, but only sheer being. For this reason,
 people of our type see in morality a purely human matter, albeit the most
 important in the human sphere."
    [Albert Einstein, from "Albert Einstein: The Human Side", edited by
     Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman, Princeton University Press, pp 69-70]
%
"[My] deep religiosity... found an abrupt ending at the age of
 twelve, through the reading  of popular scientific books."
        [Albert Einstein, as quoted in Einstein,
         History, and Other Passions, p. 172]
%
"It is quite clear to me that the religious paradise of youth,
 which [I] lost, was a first attempt to free myself from the
 chains of the 'merely personal,' from an existence which is
 dominated by wishes, hopes, and primitive feelings."
          [Albert Einstein, as quoted in Einstein,
           History, and Other Passions, p. 172]
%
"The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion
 which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any
 religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism...."
                     [Albert Einstein]
%
"I do not believe in the God of theology
 who rewards good and punishes evil."
  [Albert Einstein, Personal memoir of
   William Miller, editor, Life, May 2, 1955]
%
"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which
 differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people
 are even incapable of forming such opinion."
           [Albert Einstein, from "Aphorisms for
            Leo Baeck; Opinions of Albert Einstein"]
%
"I still believe in God, but God no longer believes in me"
    [Andrew Eldritch, singer of the Sisters of Mercy]
%
"Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of awesome mystical power.  We know this
 because they manage to be invisible and pink at the same time.  Like all
 religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic
 and faith.  We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they
 are invisible because we can't see them."
                            [Steve Eley]
%
"And the alcoholic bastard waved his finger at me
 His voice was filled with evangelical glee
 Sipping down his gin and tonics
 While preaching about the evils of narcotics
 And the evils of sex, and the wages of sin
 While he mentally fondles his next of kin..."
      [Danny Elfman, "Insanity"]
%
"Man makes himself, and he only makes himself completely in proportion as
 he desacrilizes himself and the world.  The sacred is the prime obstacle
 to his freedom.  He will become himself only when he is totally demysticized.
 He will not be truly free until he has killed the last god."
                          [Mircea Eliade]
%
"There would be no perceptible influence on the morals
 of the race if Hell were quenched and Heaven burned."
          [Charles W. Eliot, in Elbert
           Hubbard's Scrapbook, p. 126]
%
"Our literature is a substitute for religion, and so is our religion."
                 [T. S. Eliot, Milton, 1947]
%
"The Church had a devastating impact upon society. as the church assumed
 leadership, activity in the fields of medicine, technology, science,
 education, history, and commerce all but collapsed. Europe entered the
 dark ages. Although the church amassed a great deal of wealth during
 these centuries, most of what defines civilization disappeared."
               [Hellen Ellerbe, "The Dark Side Of
                Christianity" (Morningstar, 1995)]
%
"For that again, is what all manner of religion
 essentially is: childish dependency."
          [Albert Ellis]
%
"In a sense, the religious person must have no real views of his own and
 it is presumptuous of him, in fact, to have any.  In regard to sex-love
 affairs, to marriage and family relations, to business, to politics, and
 to virtually everything else that is important in his life, he must try
 to discover what his god and his clergy would like him to do; and he
 must primarily do their bidding."
                     [Albert Ellis, Ph.D]
%
"Religious fanaticism has clearly produced, and in all probability will
 continue to produce, enormous amounts of bickering, fighting, violence,
 bloodshed, homicide, feuds, wars, and genocide. For all its peace-inviting
 potential, therefore, arrant (not to mention arrogant) religiosity has
 led to immense individual and social harm by fomenting an incredible
 amount of anti-human anti-humane aggression."
                        [Albert Ellis]
%
"And it is in his own image, let us remember, that Man creates God."
        [H. Havelock Ellis, "Impressions and Comments"]
%
"The whole religious complexion of the modern world is
 due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum."
  [Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) English scientist and writer]
%
"A religion can no more afford to degrade
 its Devil than to degrade its God."
     [H. Havelock Ellis,
      "Impressions and Comments"]
%
"A man must not swallow more beliefs than he can digest."
              [Havelock Ellis]
%
"In an early class, one of the students asked me if I believed in God.  I
 replied, 'I don't think so.' And then proceeded to wail on the theme, using
 material from this column of some weeks ago, in which I observed the
 perpetuation of insanity on this planet through the mediums of Arabs-vs-Jews,
 Catholics-vs-Protestants, Southern Baptists-vs-Everyone.  I said I felt if
 'God created man in his *own* image, in the image of God created he them,'
 (Genesis 2:27, King James's italics, not mine) then *we* were God.  And when
 Man (*my* cap, not King James's) in his most creative, his most loving, his
 most gentle and most human, then he is most God-like.
 The student said he would pray for my immortal soul.  He also asked for my
 address, so he could send me some literature on the subject of God.  I
 thanked him politely and told him I'd gotten all the literature I could
 handle on the subject from a certain Thomas Aquinas."
        [Harlan Ellison, from "The Glass Teat", Article #29]
%
"When belief in a god dies, the god dies."
   [Harlan Ellison, "Deathbird Stories"]
%
"Neither Heaven nor Hell, and surely not a
 spaceship, will be found in the tail of a comet."
           [Harlan Ellison]
%
"Jesus is not going to come down from the mountain to save
 your lily-white hide or your black ass. Save yourselves."
                 [Harlan Ellison]
%
"Do you believe
 God makes you breath?
 How did he lose
 Six million Jews?
 [Emerson, Lake, & Palmer]
%
"As men's prayers are a disease of the will, so
 are their creeds a disease of the intellect."
  [Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance" (1841)]
%
"Heaven always bears some proportion to earth. The god of the cannibal will
 be a cannibal, of the crusades a crusader, and of the merchants a merchant."
            [Ralph Waldo Emerson, "The Conduct of Life"]
%
"Other world!  There is no other world!
 Here or nowhere is the whole fact."
      [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
%
"A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised
 to save a man from the vexation of thinking."
          [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
%
"How wearisome the grammarian, the phrenologist, the political
 or religious fanatic or indeed any possessed mortal
 whose balance is lost by the exaggeration of a single topic.
             [Ralph Waldo Emerson, _Essays_]
%
"The faith that stands on authority is not faith. The reliance on authority
 measures the decline of religion, the withdrawal of the soul."
                    [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
%
"The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits
 suicide.  It acknowledges that it is not equal to the whole of truth,
 that it legislates, tyrannizes over a village of God's empire but it
 is not the immutable universal law.  Every influx of atheism, of
 skepticism is thus made useful as a mercury pill assaulting and
 removing a diseased religion and making way for truth."
                 [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
%
"The religions of the world are the
 ejaculations of a few imaginative men."
     [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
%
"The Bishop is elected by the Dean and Prebends of the cathedral.  The Queen
 sends these gentlemen a _conge d'elire_, or leave to elect; but also sends
 them the name of the person whom they are to elect.  They go into the
 cathedral, chant and pray, and beseech the Holy Ghost to assist them in
 their choice; and, after these invocations, invariably find that the
 dictates of the Holy Ghost agree with the recommendations of the Queen."
            [Ralph Waldo Emerson, _English Traits_ (1848)]
%
"Who is he that shall control me? Why may not I act and speak and
 write and think with entire freedom? What am I to the universe, or,
 the unvierse, what is it to me? Who hath forged the chains of wrong
 and right, of Opinion and Custom? And must I wear them?"
    [Ralph Waldo Emerson, in "Emerson: The Mind on Fire" p. 51]
%
"Religionists are clinging to little, positive, verbal, formal
 versions of the moral law... while the laws of the Law, the great
 circling truths whose only adequate symbol is the material laws, the
 astronomy etc. are all unobserved, and sneered at when spoken of."
   [Ralph Waldo Emerson, in "Emerson: The Mind on Fire" p. 151]
%
"To aim to convert a man by miracles is a profanation of the soul."
               [Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Nature"]
%
"Whoso would be a man, must be a non-conformist. He who would gather immortal
 palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore it be
 goodness.  Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
 Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world...
 I am ashamed to think how easily we capitulate to badges and names, to large
 societies and dead institutions."
               [Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance"]
%
"7. Certain crimes are committed more immediately against God himself;
 others, against the state; and a third kind against certain persons.  The
 chief crime in the first class, cognizable by temporal courts, is
 blasphemy, under which may be included atheism.  This crime consists in
 denying or vilifying the Deity, by speech or writing.  All who curse God
 or any of the persons of the blessed Trinity, are to suffer death, even
 for a single act; and those who deny him (sic), if they persist in their
 denial.  The denial of a providence, or of the authority of the holy
 Scriptures, is punishable capitally for the third offence."
            [1771 edition of Encyclopedia Brittanica,
             under Law: Tit. 33 "Of crimes"]
%
"What is more, it appears to be generally realized that some of
 the world's foremost philosophers, scientists, and artists have
 been avowed atheists and that the increase in atheism has gone
 hand in hand with the spread of education."
               [Encyclopedia of Philosophy]
%
"Belief is not a matter of choice, and therefore
 cannot be used as a measure of virtue."
    [M. J. Engh, "Rainbow Man", pg. 43]
%
"Lemme get this straight, you have "faith" in the existence of the most
 powerful being you can imagine, who's your best bud and who you can ask
 to do favors, and further you have "faith" that when you die you don't
 actually cease to exist and become worm food, but your magical buddy
 invites you to come live with him in the most wonderful place you can
 imagine, and *we* are the ones for whom truth has become "whatever works
 for you" or "whatever makes you feel good"??? LMAO!"
                         [Bob Enweiven]
%
"Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot;
 Or he can, but does not want to;
 Or he cannot and does not want to.
 If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent.
 If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked.
 But, if God both can and wants to abolish evil,
 Then how come evil in the world?"
      [Epicurus, 350-?270 BC]
%
"There is nothing to fear from gods,
 There is nothing to feel in death,
 Good can be attained,
 Evil can be endured"
   [The Four Herbs of Epicurus, 341-270 BC]
%
"Thus that which is the most awful of evils, death,
 is nothing to us, since when we exist there is no
 death, and when there is death we do not exist."
                [Epicurus]
%
"To sum up (or I shall be pursuing the infinite), it is quite clear
 that the Christian religion has a kind of kinship with folly in some
 form, though it has none at all with wisdom.  If you want proofs of this,
 first consider the fact that the very young and the very old, women and
 simpletons, are the people who take the greatest delight in sacred and
 holy things, and are therefore always found nearest the altars, led there
 doubtless solely by their natural instinct.  Secondly, you can see how
 the first great founders of the faith were great lovers of simplicity and
 bitter enemies of learning.  Finally, the biggest fools of all appear to
 be those who have once been wholly possessed by zeal for Christian
 piety.  They squander their possessions, ignore insults, submit to being
 cheated, make no distinction between friends and enemies, shun pleasure,
 sustain themselves on fasting, vigils, tears, toil and humilations, scorn
 life and desire only death - in short, they seem to be dead to any normal
 feelings, as if their spirit dwelt elsewhere than in their body.  What else
 can that be but madness?  And so we should not be surprised if the apostles
 were thought to be drunk on new wine, and Festus judged Paul to be mad."
                  [Erasmus, 'Praise of Folly']
%
"Byron's friend Thomas Moore wrote to a friend in 1818 warning
 him not to speak of religion or morality, 'the mania on these
 subjects being so universal and congenital that he who thinks
 of curing it is as mad as his patients.'"
     [Carolly Erickson, "Our Tempestuous Days", pg. 224]
%
"After all, religion is an adolescent social device; it takes a serious
 and grown-up concern -- spirituality -- and by its very nature reduces
 it to both an adolescent sense of eternity and an adolescent moral
 scheme in which absolutely everything is cast in stark contrasts,
 in which whatever doubt and mystery can't be bleached out of human
 experience is codified into ritual and myth."
           [Steve Erikson's column "Unspun" in Salon]
%
"Millions long for immortality who don't
 know what to do on a Sunday afternoon."
           [Susan Ertz]
%
"Churches should look to their members and friends only for the
 financing of their undertakings, and no church should engage in
 any undertaking, no matter how laudable it may be, that its
 members and friends are unable or unwilling to finance."
                [Senator Sam Ervin]
%
"When religion controls government, political liberty dies;and
 when government controls religion, religious liberty perishes."
                  [Sen. Sam Ervin]
%
"If I believed in a god, which I do not, I would like to
 communicate with him on the same intellectual level.
 Therefore, I would have to teach him a few things."
                 [Aaron Erwin]
%
"Religion stills a thinking mind."
        [Greg Erwin]
%
"If I didn't know better, I would think that you were just
 making definitions up in an ad hoc manner to avoid coming
 to a conclusion which contradicted your a priori wishes."
                  [Greg Erwin]
%
All religious vows, codes, and commitments are null & void
herein. Please refrain from contaminating the ideosphere
with harmful memes through prayer, reverence, holy books,
proselytizing, prophesying, faith, speaking in tongues or
spirituality.  Fight the menace of second-hand faith!
         Humanity sincerely thanks you!
     [Greg Erwin, _The Nullifidian_]
%
"You are digging for the answers, Until your fingers bleed,
 To satisfy the hunger, To satiate the need.
 They feed you on the guilt, To keep you humble and low,
 Some man and myth they made up, A thousand years ago."
         [Melissa Etheridge, "Silent Legacy"
          song on the "Yes, I Am" album]
%
"We decree and order that from now on, AND FOR ALL TIME, Christians shall not
 eat or drink with Jews; nor admit them to feasts, nor cohabit with them, nor
 bathe with them. Christians shall not allow Jews to hold civil honors over
 Christians, or to exercise public office in the State.  Jews cannot be
 merchants, Tax Collectors, or agents in the buying and selling of the produce
 and goods of Christians, nor their Procurators, Computers or Lawyers in
 matrimonial matters, nor Obstetricians; nor can they have association or
 partnership with Christians. No Christian can leave or bequeath anything in
 his last Will and testament to Jews or their congregations.  Jews are
 prohibited from erecting new synogogues. They are obliged to pay annually a
 tenth part of their goods and holdings. Against them Christians can testify,
 but the testimony of Jews against Christians in no case is of any value. All
 and every single Jew, of whatever sex and age, must everywhere wear the
 distinct dress and known marks by which they can be evidently distinguished
 from Christians. They cannot live among Christians, but in a certain street,
 separated and segregated from Christians, and outside which they cannot under
 any pretext have houses"
        [Pope Eugenius IV, A.D. 1442, Bull. Rom. Pont., V.67]
%
"He was a wise man who originated the idea of gods."
         [Euripedes (484-406 B.C.)]
%
"O mortal man, think mortal thoughts!"
    [Euripides, Alcestis, l. 799]
%
"Do we, holding that the gods exist, deceive ourselves
 with unsubstantial dreams and lies, while random
 careless change and chance alone control the world?"
   [Euripides, Athenian Dramatist, 484-406 BC, "Hecuba"]
%
"Slavery... That thing of evil, by its nature evil, forcing
 submission from a man what no man can yield to."
   [Euripides, "Hecuba," 425 B.C.  He was the first writer
    to condemn slavery, writing this almost 500 years before
    Paul wrote: "Slaves, obey your masters." The Bible
    nowhere condemns slavery, but in many places condones it.]
%
"I have repeated whatever may rebound to the glory, and
 suppresed all that could tend to the disgrace, of our religion."
      [Eusebius, early Church Father, in _Praeparatio
       Evangelica_, chapter 31, book 12]
%
"On some occasions the bodies of the martyrs who had been devoured by beasts,
 upon the beasts being strangled, were found alive in their stomachs."
   [Eusebius (4th century), Bishop & Christian ecclesiastical historian]
%
"That it is necessary sometimes to use falsehood as a medicine
 for those who need such an approach. [As said in Plato's Laws
 663e by the Athenian:] 'And even the lawmaker who is of little
 use, if even this is not as he considered it, and as just now the
 application of logic held it, if he dared lie to young men for a
 good reason, then can't he lie?  For falsehood is even more useful
 than the above, and sometimes even more able to bring it about that
 everyone willingly keeps to all justice.' [then by Clinias:] 'Truth
 is beautiful, stranger, and steadfast. But to persuade people of it
 is not easy.' "You would find many things of this sort being used
 even in the Hebrew scriptures, such as concerning God being jealous
 or falling asleep or getting angry or being subject to some other
 human passions, for the benefit of those who need such an approach."
      [Eusebius, from the Praeparatio Evangelica 12.31,
       listing the ideas Plato supposedly got from Moses]
%
"The North American church is out of touch with global realities."
      [Evangelical Foreign Mission Association, affiliated
       with the Baptist Church, on the current state of
       mission outreaches by American christian churches]
%
"Don't you understand mister, you are royalty and God
 has chosen you to be the priest of your home?"
  [Tony Evans, co-editor of "Seven Promises of a
   Promise Keeper", in The Progressive, August 1996]
%
"The demise of our community and culture is the fault of
 sissified men who have been overly influenced by women."
    [Tony Evans, co-editor of "Seven Promises of a
     Promise Keeper", in The Progressive, August 1996]
%
"I am not suggesting you *ask* for your role back, I'm urging you to
 *take* it back...there can be no compromise here.  If you're going
 to lead, you must lead."
     [Tony Evans, co-editor, in "Seven Promises of a Promise
      Keeper", "Spiritual Purity" chapter, p. 79-80]
%
"God is a perfect example of the kind of aberration that can result from
 an untrained intellect combining with an unrestrained imagination."
                         [Simon Ewins]
%
"Christianity does not preach the gospels to offer man a guide to salvation.
 It uses the gospels as a weapon in the ideological conquest of man."
                           [Simon Ewins]
%
"She had the dubious distinction of being known as America's most outspoken
 atheist," NBC's Tom Brokaw said (9/30/96) in introducing a jokey segment
 on Madalyn Murray O'Hair, who has been missing for the past year. It's
 impossible to imagine Brokaw making light of the disappearance of someone
 who has the "dubious distinction" of being a leader of America's Catholics
 or Jews--but atheists are assumed to be fair game for ridicule or attack.
 That must be why NBC quoted a "conservative Christian commentator" as saying
 of O'Hair: "If she is indeed dead, then she's burning in the fires of hell."
 Plenty of fundamentalist Christians believe that all Catholics burn in hell,
 but we doubt we'll see NBC quoting any of them the next time a pope dies."
      [_Extra! Update_, a periodical from Fairness and Accuracy
       in Reporting (FAIR), December 1996 issue, page 2. FAIR is
       a New York NY-based media watchdog organization.]
%
"(19)Yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when
 she played the whore in the land of Egypt (20) and lusted after her
 paramours whose members were like those of donkeys and whose emissions
 was like that of stallions"
                            [Ezekiel 23]
%
"When the Pope gets sick, how come they
 never think of sending him to Lourdes?"
   [Fact magazine, circa late-60s]
%
"We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn't been for the church dragging
 science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake."
                     [Catherine Fahringer]
%
"You can go off and delude yourself all you want, but when you start
 threatening nonbelievers, when you start damaging the education systems,
 when you start considering the evil and horror bestowed upon humankind
 by your religious beliefs in the past and you refuse to accept any
 responsibility for them, that's when things get a bit scary in the real
 world of which you and I are a part."
                           [Dan Fake]
%
"We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism...
 we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying
 our nation today...our battle is with Satan himself."
                      [Jerry Falwell]
%
"The ACLU is to Christians what the
 American Nazi party is to Jews."
    [Rev. Jerry Falwell]
%
"Our goal has been achieved.  The Religious Right is solidly in place,
 and religious conservatives in America are now in for the duration."
                     [Jerry Falwell]
%
"We've literally been inundated since the election (with evangelicals)
 saying please, please, please crank up the Moral Majority again."
                       [Jerry Falwell]
%
"I feel most ministers who claim they've heard God's voice are
 eating too much pizza before they go to bed at night, and it's
 really an intestinal disorder, not a revelation."
               [Rev. Jerry Falwell]
%
"I hope I live to see the day, when, as in the early days of our country,
 we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over
 again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!"
        [Rev. Jerry Falwell, America Can Be Saved, (1979)]
%
"I listen to feminists and all these radical gals -- most of them are failures.
 They've blown it.  Some of them have been married, but they married some
 Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom.  These women
 just need a man in the house.  That's all they need.  Most of the feminists
 need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And
 they blew it and they're mad at all men.  Feminists hate men.  They're
 sexist.  They hate men -- that's their problem."
                    [Reverend Jerry Falwell]
%
"Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America."
                [Jerry Falwell]
%
"AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To
 oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red
 Sea to save one of Pharoah's chariotters."
                [Jerry Falwell]
%
"If you're not a born-again Christian,
 you're a failure as a human being."
        [Jerry Falwell]
%
"I believe that the people of Israel are the chosen people of God."
  [Jerry Falwell, interview on Cable News Network, 21 Nov 1982]
%
"The idea that religion and politics don't mix
 was invented by the Devil to keep Christians
 from running their own country."
          [Rev. Jerry Falwell]
%
"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is
 God's punishment for the society that *tolerates* homosexuals."
            [Rev. Jerry Falwell, 1993]
%
"You say what's going to happen on this earth when the Rapture occurs?
 You'll be riding along in an automobile; you'll be the driver, perhaps;
 you're a Christian; there'll be several people in the automobile with
 you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the trumpet sounds, you
 and the other born-again Christians in that automobile will be instantly
 caught away, you'll disappear, leaving behind only your clothing and
 physical things that cannot inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or
 persons in the automobile will suddenly be startled to find that the car
 is moving along without a driver, and suddenly somewhere crashes. Those
 saved people in the car have disappeared. Other cars on the highway
 driven by believers will suddenly be out of control. Stark pandemonium
 will occur on that highway and on every highway in the world where
 Christians are caught away from the world."
     [Jerry Falwell, from Wills, Garry, "Under God, Religion and
      American Politics", Simon & Schuster, 1990, pg. 147,
      originally excerpted from "Ronald Reagan and the Prophecy of
      Armageddon" by Joe Cuomo, National Public Radio]
%
"He is purple -- the gay-pride color; and his antenna is shaped like a
 triangle -- the gay-pride symbol.... As a Christian I feel that role
 modeling the gay lifestyle is damaging to the moral lives of children."
        [Rev. Jerry Falwell "outing" Tinky Winky the Teletubby,
         Feb. 1999 edition of the National Liberty Journal]
%
"The ACLU's got to take a lot of blame for this. And, I know that I'll hear
 from them for this. But, throwing God or successfully with the help of the
 federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the
 schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God
 will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies,
 we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists,
 and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to
 make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way,
 all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in
 their face and say 'you helped this happen'."
           [Jerry Falwell, on the 700 Club, 9-13-2001]
%
"I do not believe the Republicans or the Democrats have the solution to
 America's moral and spiritual dilemma. Only a pervasive and national
 spiritual awakening can prevent us entering the post-Christian era as
 we go simultaneously into the 21st century. I believe America is in
 imminent peril. We are rotting from within."
     [Jerry Falwell, "Rebuilding America's Walls," 7/6/1997]
%
"America is living by a standard of relative morality. Young people who do
 not know what is right will follow their animal nature. If young people
 do not believe in absolute truth and absolute morality, they will
 fornicate, rob and indulge their selfish pleasures. Absolute truth and
 absolute morality are the basis of the Declaration of Independence.
 These are self-evident truths and inalienable rights."
                       [Jerry Falwell]
%
"If America is not suffering the irrevocable judgment of God because she
 has broken her covenant with God, then I believe she is dangerously close."
       [Jerry Falwell, "America Made a Deal with God," 7/6/1997]
%
"Since the Antichrist will not be revealed before Jesus comes, I believe
 conditions are falling in place, i.e., one-world government, so he can
 rule the world after Jesus comes. But we're moving toward a one-world
 government through the United Nations, through the world court and a
 growing world opinion. The problem is that the one-world opinion is
 taking the side of the Palestinians, not the side of Israel.
   [Jerry Falwell, "What is Next in the End-Time Drama," 9/9/2001]
%
"Religion is more like response to a fiend
 than it is like obedience to an expert."
           [Austin Farrer]
%
"Christ died for our sins.  Dare we make his
 martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?"
            [Jules Feiffer]
%
"What good is a beautiful church that serves the
 spiritual needs to someone sleeping on a steam grate?"
              [James Felder]
%
"If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!"
                ["Ma" Ferguson, Governor of Texas]
%
"In the church of a small town in the state of S. Paulo, Brazil, the statue
 of Virgin Mary started to weep regularly. The news spread like fire and soon
 pilgrims from everywhere crowded the place, hoping for miracles. Researchers
 from the nearby university of Campinas took samples of the tears and compared
 them to the available water sources in the neighborhood. They turned out to
 have the same chemical composition as the water from a drawn well behind the
 church. Then the researchers sealed the statue inside a glass dome and the
 tears stopped for many days. When the weeping began anew, they noticed the
 seal had been broken. Their report stated clearly that the so-called miracle
 was a fraud, possibly to attract pilgrims to the region. The media asked a
 woman what she thought of the report and she replied: "I don't care for
 reports. The Virgin wept. It's my faith that counts".
                         [Leo Fernandes]
%
"We who are unbelievers have so much to lose. The fire in the belly for
 freedom of conscience can be quelled when threatened, and the lips can be
 forced to mouth words. But the mind of the unbeliever, once opened to the
 fact that nothing supernatural exists either to worship or to fear, cannot
 be stilled without paying a great price. It is all too evident that life
 is a struggle for power by some human beings over others, and history has
 shown time and again that the most effective weapon for grabbing that
 power is religion. Will history show ours to be proof of the maxim that
 free societies don't last?"
         [Sandra Feroe, "A Thanksgiving Ideal" Nov. 21, 1998]
%
"When the masses become better informed about science, they will feel
 less need for help from supernatural Higher Powers.  The need for
 religion will end when Man becomes sensible enough to govern himself.
 We will not, therefore, lose our time praying to an imaginary god
 for things which our own exertions alone can procure."
   [Francisco Ferrer y Guardia, Spanish atheist educator
    accused by Catholic clergy of leading a riot in Barcelona
    and executed without a trial.  From "The Origin and
    Ideals of the Modern School", published posthumously]
%
"Let no more gods or exploiters be served.
 Let us learn rather to love one another."
           [Francisco Ferrer]
%
"[My] purpose...is is to transform theologians into anthropologists,
 lovers of God into lovers of man, candidates for the next world into
 students of this world ... I negate the fantastic hypocracy of theology
 and religion only in order to affirm the true nature of man."
                     [Ludwig Feuerbach]
%
"Man first unconsciously and involuntarily creates
 God in his own image, and after this God (Religion)
 consciously and voluntarily creates man in his own image"
       [Ludwig Andreas von Feuerbach,
        "The Essence Of Christianity" 1841]
%
"Only he is a truly ethical, a truly human being, who has the
 courage to see through his own religious feelings and needs."
                 [Ludwig Feuerbach]
%
"Faith is essentially intolerant... essentially because necessarily
 bound up with faith is the illusion that one's cause is also God's cause."
                      [Ludwig Feuerbach]
%
"God is the explanation for the unexplainable which explains nothing
 because it explains everything without distinction -- he is the night of
 theory, nonetheless making everything clear to the mind by removing any
 measure of darkness and extinguishing the light of discriminating
 comprehension -- the not-knowing which solves all doubts by repudiating
 them, which knows everything because it knows nothing in particular and
 because all things which impress reason are nothing to religion, lose their
 identity and are nil in God's eye. The night is the mother of religion."
   [Feuerbach, "Das Wesen des Christenthums" (19th century, Germany)]
%
"You see, one thing is, I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing.
 I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers
 which might be wrong.  I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and
 different degrees of uncertainty about different things, but I am not
 absolutely sure of anything and there are many things I don't know anything
 about, such as whether it means anything to ask why we're here...  I don't
 have to know an answer.  I don't feel frightened not knowing things, by being
 lost in a mysterious universe without any purpose, which is the way it really
 is as far as I can tell. It doesn't frighten me."
          [Richard P. Feynman, "Genius, the life and science"]
%
"It is our responsibility as scientists, knowing the great progress which
 comes from a satisfactory philosophy of ignorance, the great progress
 which is the fruit of freedom of thought, to proclaim the value of this
 freedom; to teach how doubt is not to be feared but welcomed and discussed;
 and to demand this freedom as our duty to all coming generations."
    [Richard Feynman, "What Do You Care What Other People Think?"]
%
"God was invented to explain mystery. God is always invented to explain
 those things that you do not understand.  Now, when you finally discover
 how something works, you get some laws which you're taking away from God;
 you don't need him anymore. But you need him for the other mysteries.  So
 therefore you leave him to create the universe because we haven't figured
 that out yet; you need him for understanding those things which you don't
 believe the laws will explain, such as consiousness, or why you only live
 to a certain length of time--life and death--stuff like that. God is
 always associated with those things that you do not understand.  Therefore
 I don't think that the laws can be considered to be like God because they
 have been figured out."
                      [Richard Feynman]
%
"[When a young person loses faith in his religion because he begins
 to study science and its methodology] it isn't that [through the
 obtaining of real knowledge that] he knows it all, but he suddenly
 realizes that he doesn't know it all."
      [Richard P. Feynman, "The Meaning of It All," p. 36]
%
"Scientific views end in awe and mystery, lost at the edge in
 uncertainty, but they appear to be so deep and so impressive
 that the theory that it is all arranged as a stage for God to
 watch man's struggle for good and evil seems inadequate."
    [Richard P. Feynman, "The Meaning of It All," p. 39]
%
"It is in the admission of ignorance and the admission of uncertainty
 that there is a hope for the continuous motion of human beings in some
 direction that doesn't get confined, permanently blocked, as it has so
 many times before in various periods in the history of man."
       [Richard Feynman, "The Meaning of It All", p. 34]
%
"The greatest achievement ever made in the cause of human progress is the
 total and final separation of church and state. If we have nothing else to
 boast of, we could lay claim with justice that the first among the nations
 we of this country made it an article of organic law that the relations
 between man and his maker  were a private concern, into which other men
 have no right to intrude. To measure the stride thus made for the
 Emancipation of the race, we have only to look back over the centuries
 that have gone before us, and recall the dreadful persecutions in the
 name of religion that have filled the world."
      [David Dudley Field (1805-1894) in describing 'American
       Progress in Jurisprudence,' as quoted in Anson Phelps
       Stokes, Church And State In The United States Vol I, p. 37]
%
"The Theologian is an owl, sitting on an old dead branch in the tree of
 human knowledge, and hooting the same old hoots that have been hooted for
 hundreds and thousands of years, but he has never given a hoot for progress."
                        [Emmett F. Fields]
%
"Atheism is the world of reality, it is reason, it is freedom.
 Atheism is human concern, and intellectual honesty to a degree that
 the religious mind cannot begin to understand. And yet it is more
 than this. Atheism is not an old religion, it is not a new and coming
 religion, in fact it is not, and never has been, a religion at all.
 The definition of Atheism is magnificent in its simplicity: Atheism
 is merely the bed-rock of sanity in a world of madness."
       [Atheism: An Affirmative View, by Emmett F. Fields]
%
"Atheism has one doctrine: To Question
 Atheism has one dogma: To Doubt
 The Atheist Bible has but one word: THINK."
         [Emmett F. Fields]
%
"Nothing changes history like the Christian Historian"
               [Emmett F. Fields]
%
"Those who believe in hell can never know
 truth, for they are blinded by fear."
         [Emmett F. Fields]
%
"Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot,
 the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is
 the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas"
                         [W. C. Fields]
%
"I'm looking for loopholes."
  [W. C. Fields, when
   caught reading the Bible]
%
"To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and
 I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale.  I need
 indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.  Someone has
 to come up with the whys and wherefores."
             [W. C. Fields, from "W. C. Fields
              & Me" by Carlotta Monti]
%
"Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable
 statistics which prove that more people are driven
 insane through religious hysteria than by drinking."
              [W. C. Fields]
%
"A world where most men prefer sex with little children to sex with
 grown women, mostly allegedly Christian parents secretly engage in bloody
 Satanic rituals and every third person has suffered anal, genital and other
 harassments by demonic dwarfs from outer space makes as much sense - and
 just as little sense - as a world where the universe is ruled by the ghost
 of a crucified Jew and George Bush had rational reasons (which no one can now
 remember) for bombing Iraq again two days before leaving the White House."
          [Prof. T. F. X. Finnegan, Trinity College, Dublin]
%
"What kind of a god would crucify his own son?"
          [Firesign Theatre]
%
"It remains one of the most baffling yet affecting phenomena in modern
 religious life: A beam of light or a spot of dirt in an otherwise ordinary
 place is perceived as the image of the Virgin Mary, and suddenly thousands
 of pilgrims descend on the site, turning it into a makeshift shrine.  ...In
 previous years, it has been a vision in the sky, a glint off a car bumper,
 a face in a tortilla, a tear on an icon.  ...But while church leaders are
 often loath to debunk a visionary experience, not wanting to damage the
 faith of thousands, they are also leery of letting such events get out of
 hand.  If someone who claims to have communicated with the divine begins
 spreading teachings that are contrary to church dogma, bishops have not
 hesitated to step in."
       [David Firestone, Newsday, Press Democrat, 23 December 1990]
%
I see them on the corner
Big black Bible in hand
Shoutin' at the people to hear the word of the Lord,
  and it's this:
"You're just a filthy sinner-man!
You can't save yourself, but -- Jesus can!
And then you too can be an angel with a sword --
  Smite the unrighteous!
Make Jesus your goal,
Sell him your soul,
Go throw your mind down the nearest hole."

CHORUS:

And the Lord Christ Jesus will
Save you from the Devil and Sin,
The Lord Marx Lenin will
Save you from the Chairman of the Board,
The Lord Smack Needle will
Save you from the pains of life --
But who will come and save you from your Lord?

   [Leslie Fish, "Trinity"]
%
"In 1550 he (Las Casas) took part in a great controversy with Juan de
 Sepulveda, one of the most celebrated scholars of that time.  Sepulveda
 wrote a book in which he maintained the right of the pope and the king
 of Spain to make war upon the heathen people of the New World and bring
 them forcibly into the fold of Christ....   In maintaining his ground
 that persuasion is the only lawful method for making men Christians,
 extreme nicety of statement was required, for the least slip might bring
 him within the purview of the Inquisition.  Men were burning at the
 stake for heresy while this discussion was going on, and the controversy
 more than once came terribly near home."
                 [Discovery of America, Chapter XI:
                  Las Casas, John Fiske, 1892]
%
"God made his only son die on the cross to avenge his own anger
 against a man and woman four thousand years dead. Besides, the
 garbage disposal was sending radio signals through his head
 and it seemed like a really good idea at the time."
                 [Charles Fiterman]
%
"We warn the North that every one of the leading abolitionists is
 agitating the negro slavery question merely as a means to attain
 their ulterior ends... a surrender to Socialism and Communism
 -- to no private property, no church, no law; to free love, free
 lands, free women and free children."
                [George Fitzhugh, 1857]
%
"Once upon a time two explorers came upon a clearing in the jungle. In the
 clearing were growing many flowers and many weeds. One explorer says,
 "Some gardener must tend this plot."  The other disagrees, "There is no
 gardener."  So, they pitch their tents and set a watch.  No gardener....
 So they set up a barbed wire fence. They electrify it. They patrol it with
 bloodhounds... But no shrieks even suggest that some intruder intruder has
 received a shock.  No movements of the wire ever betray an invisible climber.
 The bloodhounds never give cry.  Yet still the Believer is not convinced.
 "But there is a gardener, invisible, intangible, insensible to electric
 shocks, a gardener who has no scent and makes no sound, a gardener who comes
 secretly to look after the garden which he loves."  At last the Skeptic
 despairs, "But what remains of your original assertion?  Just how does what
 you call an invisible, intangible, eternally elusive gardener differ from an
 imaginary gardener or even no gardener at all?"
                          [Anthony Flew]
%
"Christian biblical theology must recognise that its articulation
 of anti-Judaism in the New Testament ... generated the unspeakable
 sufferings of the Holocaust."
    [Dr. E. Florenza (Prof. of New Testament Studies) & Dr. D. Tracy
     (Prof. of Philosophical Theology), "The Holocaust as Interruption"
     (Edinburgh: T. & T. Clark, Ltd., 1984).]
%
"The Bible has done more harm than any other book in the world."
      [William Floyd, "Christianity Cross-Examined"]
%
"Religion...can exercise a severe crippling and inhibiting effect
 upon the human mind, by fostering irrational anxiety and guilt,
 and by hampering the free play of the intellect".
                   [Dr J C Flugel]
%
"The Santa myth is one of the most effective means ever
 devised for intimidating children, eroding their self-
 esteem, twisting their behavior, warping their values,
 and slowing their development of critical thinking skills."
      [Tom Flynn, _The Trouble with Christmas_]
%
"Most humans feel what Paul Kurtz has called the "transcendent temptation,"
 the emotional drive to festoon the universe with large-scale meaning....
 Secular humanists suspect there is something more gloriously human about
 *resisting* the religious impulse; about accepting the cold truth, even if
 that truth is only that the universe is as indifferent to us as we are to
 it; about facing the existential vacuum in all its horrible majesty; and
 constructing a life of compassion and exuberance on its brink without
 relying on the dubious shelter of faith."
         [Tom Flynn, "The Difference a Word Makes", Free Inquiry]
%
"I had resources so I was able to get help.  ....To all you 'born
 again' Christians out there, I recommend some lithium; it helps."
         [Larry Flynt on his conversion experience,
          on the Larry King Show, 1/10/97]
%
"Oh, we could probably learn to like one another, and we probably
 have some things in common.  But you have to be honest about what
 you do.  And the Reverend Falwell isn't being honest.  He's in
 the business of selling religion."
   [Larry Flynt, on Larry King Live, 1/10/97, in a debate with
    Rev. Jerry Falwell, and asked if he could ever like Falwell]
%
"It's no wonder Christian Coalition members repeat their organization's
 mission like a mantra. Understanding morality not informed by a faith
 in Jesus Christ must confound true believers at least as much as values
 not guided primarily by common sense perplex the rest of the population."
            [Alex Foege, "The Empire God Built: Inside
             Pat Robertson's Media Machine", pg 143]
%
"The secret they [the courts] do not seem to understand
 is that there is no separation of church and state in
 the Constitution or in any of our founding documents."
  [Janet Folger, Center for Reclaiming America for Christ,
   in Coral Ridge On-line Newsletter, February, 1999]
%
"It will yet be the proud boast of women that
 they never contributed a line to the Bible."
           [George W. Foote]
%
"There are two things in the world that can never
 get together- religion & common sense."
     [George W. Foote, from "Flowers of
      Freethought, 2 vols. 1893-94]
%
"The only terror in death is the apprehension of what lies beyond
 it, and that emotion is impossible to a sincere disbeliever."
             [G. W. Foote, "Infidel Death Beds"]
%
"The man who worships a tyrant in heaven naturally
 submits his neck to the yoke of tyrants on earth."
   [George W. Foote, "Flowers of Freethought"]
%
My School Prayer

Now I lay me down to learn
Which to read and which to burn
Pray the Lord my soul to turn
Over to the school board.

Free to worship as I please,
Long as it pleases the authorities.
Hear me praying on my knees
My School Prayer.

"Once again, boys and girls, I'll remind you that this activity
is not mandatory, and those of you who don't believe in a
Judeo-Christian God as defined by Congress should feel free to
sit quietly with your fingers in your ears like the atheistic
heathen you are.  Agnostics may want to plug just one ear."

May my every sneeze be blessed.
May I pass my urine test.
May my mind be underest-
imated and ignored, Lord

Keep my classroom safe and clean.
Sanctify my M-16.
Every morning, eight-fifteen,
It's My School Prayer.

God bless California, Arizona,
North Dakota, Texas, Maine,
New Hampshire,
Ohio and New York, of course.

The forty-eight contiguous,
And the two ambiguous.
The greatest country God ever saved from the pagans.

And while we're at it, dear Lord, bless the Reagans.

God is good, and God is great.
So we'd hate to separate
Church and state or ourselves from pat-
riarchy and theocracy.

Peace on earth, Thy kingdom come
Into my curriculum.
Make my head a hollow drum.

Strike me dumb
Except to mumble
My School Prayer.

[The Foremen,"My School Prayer",
 from the "What's Left?" album]
%
"Bring me a creationist who doesn't lie, deceive, distort and
 distract then I will show you a whole lot of thin air!"
                    [Clayton Forno]
%
"Saying the second law of thermodynamics means evolution can't happen
 is like saying the theory of gravity means birds can't fly."
                    [Clayton Forno]
%
"The exoteric, state-organised section of the Christian Church persecuted
 and stamped out the esoteric section, destroying every trace of its
 literature... in striving to eradicate... gnosis from human history."
               [Dion Fortune, "The Mystical Qabalah"]
%
"A religion without a goddess is half-way to atheism."
               [Dion Fortune]
%
"Q. Where does Jodie Foster stand in the debate between science and faith?"

"I absolutely believe what Ellie believes - that there is no direct
 evidence, so how could you ask me to believe in God when there's
 absolutely no evidence that I can see? I do believe in the beauty and
 the awe-inspiring mystery of the science that's out there that we
 haven't discovered yet, that there are scientific explanations for
 phenomena that we call mystical because we just don't know any better."
   [Jodie Foster, interview with Dan McLeod, "Foster Makes Contact
    With Sagan" published in Vancouver's Georgia Strait July 10, 1997
    issue, on her role as Dr. Eleanor Arroway in the film "Contact"]
%
"Whatever sympathy I feel towards religions, whatever admiration for
 some of their adherents, whatever historical or biological necessity I
 see in them, whatever metaphorical truth, I cannot accept them as
 credible explanations of reality; and they are incredible to me in
 proportion to the degree that they require my belief in positive human
 attributes and intervenient powers in their divinities."
                 [John Fowles,  _The Aristos_]
%
"The process of creating new scripture by constructive abuse of
 the old reaches its climax in the letters ascribed to Paul."
   [Robin Lane Fox, Historian; Fellow, New College, Oxford]
%
"The atheist bashes all religions whilst the theist bashes
 all but his own, upon which he lavishes great care in case
 it should come in contact with reality."
                  [Gully Foyle]
%
"The absurdity of a religious practice may be clearly demonstrated
 without lessening the numbers of people who indulge in it."
                  [Anatole France]
%
"If 50 million people believe a foolish
 thing, it is still a foolish thing"
         [Anatole France]
%
 (God explaining the doctrine of free will.) "In order not to impair
 human liberty, I will be ignorant of what I know, I will thicken upon
 my eyes the veils I have pierced, and in my blind clear-sightedness
 I will let myself be surprised by what I have foreseen."
                   [Anatole France]
%
"Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin."
                [Anatole France]
%
"The impotence of God is infinite."
       [Anatole France]
%
"We thank God for having created this world, and praise Him for having made
 another, quite different one, where the wrongs of this one are corrected."
                       [Anatole France]
%
  "Les dieux ont coutume de ressembler � ceux qui les adorent."
("the gods have the custom of resembling those that worship them")
                       [Anatole France]
%
"Mystery is essential to the impostor.  Above everything else, the charlatan
 must avoid straightforward reasoning and simplicity of expression: too clear
 and direct a light would quickly destroy the spell he exerts, through eloquent
 ambiguity, over his victims.  In all ages, the voice of the humbug has
 exercised a peculiar fascination -- it is his chief weapon.  But though he
 has to speak and write continuously, his announcements are best couched in
 indefinite phrases, opaque and susceptible of many interpretations, like the
 words of Subtle, the alchemist in Ben Jonson's play of that name."
          [Grete de Francesco (translated from the German
           by Miriam Beard -- Yale University Press, 1939)]
%
"One of the sponsors of the creche was asked about his interest in viewing
 it while it stood on Scarsdale's Boniface Circle during the christmas
 season. To my surprise as the questioner, it turned out the he never bothered
 to go look at the creche at all, let alone to admire or draw inspiration from
 it.  But on reflection, it should not have been so surprising. The creche was
 not there for him to see or to appreciate for its intrinsic spiritual value
 in his religious universe. it was there for others, who professed other
 religions or none, so that the clout of his religious group should be made
 manifest- above all to any in the sharply divided village who would have
 preferred that it not be there."
         [_Faith And Freedom, Religious Liberty In America_,
          Marvin E. Frankel, retired Federal Judge, p. 61]
%
"Certainly the affirmative pursuit of one's convictions about the ultimate
 mystery of the universe and man's relation to it is placed beyond the
 reach of law.  Government may not interfere with organized or individual
 expressions of belief or disbelief.  Propagation of belief -- or even of
 disbelief -- in the supernatural is protected, whether in church or
 chapel, mosque or synagogue, tabernacle or meeting-house."
    [Felix Frankfurter, U.S. Supreme Court justice, majority decision,
     Minersville School District v. Gobitis, 310 U.S. 586, 1940]
%
"In modern Europe, as in ancient Greece, it would seem that even inanimate
 objects have sometimes been punished for their misdeeds.  After the revocation
 of the edict of Nantes, in 1685, the Protestant chapel at La Rochelle was
 condemned to be demolished, but the bell, perhaps out of regard for its value,
 was spared.  However, to expiate the crime of having rung heretics to prayers,
 it was sentenced to be first whipped, and then buried and disinterred, by way
 of symbolizing its new birth at passing into Catholic hands.  Thereafter it
 was catechized, and obliged to recant and promise that it would never again
 relapse into sin.  Having made this ample and honourable amends, the bell was
 reconciled, baptized, and given, or rather sold, to the parish of St.
 Bartholomew.  But when the governer sent in the bill for the bell to the
 parish authorities, they declined to settle it, alleging that the bell, as
 a recent convert to Catholicism, desired to take advantage of the law lately
 passed by the king, which allowed all new converts a delay of three years in
 paying their debts.
      [Sir James G. Frazer, _Folklore In The Old Testament_]
%
"Some of the old laws of Israel are clearly savage taboos of
 a familiar type thinly disguised as commands of the deity."
              [Sir James G. Frazer]
%
"Not only is there nothing to be gained by believing an untruth,
 but there is everything to lose when we sacrifice the indispensable
 tool of reason on the altar of superstition."
              [Freedom From Religion Foundation]
%
"...the Bible, a book that glorifies behavior you abhor."
        [Freedom From Religion Foundation]
%
"The modern world is essentially non-religious. This may seem a strange
 statement given the rise of a militant Catholic church and militant
 Muslim, American Protestant, and Judaic groups. But if one examines
 the acts, as opposed to the rhetoric, of these movements, one finds
 their primary purpose is to reassert dominance over women and subordinate
 groups, e.g., Muslim socialists, American blacks, Israeli Arabs."
         [Marilyn French, "Will Secularism Survive?"
          article in _Free Inquiry_ magazine]
%
"The more the fruits of knowledge become accessible to men,
 the more widespread is the decline of religious belief."
               [Sigmund Freud]
%
"When a man has once brought himself to accept uncritically all the
 absurdities that religious doctrines put before him and even to
 overlook the contradictions between them, we need not be greatly
 suprised at the weakness of his intellect"
        [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion", 1927]
%
"Civilization has little to fear from educated people and brain-workers.
 In them the replacement of religious motives for civilized behaviours by
 other, secular motives, would proceed unobtrusively..."
                  [Sigmund Freud, 1927]
%
"Religious ideas have sprung from the same need as all the other
 achievements of culture: from the necessity for defending itself
 against the crushing supremacy of nature."
   [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion" 1927, p.34]
%
"While the different religions wrangle with one another as to which of them
 is in possession of the truth, in our view the truth of religion may be
 altogether disregarded.  Religion is an attempt to get control over the
 sensory world, in which we are placed, by means of the wish-world, which
 we have developed inside us as a result of biological and psychological
 necessities.  But it cannot achieve its end.  Its doctrines carry with them
 the stamp of the times in which they originated, the ignorant childhood days
 of the human race.  Its consolations deserve no trust.  Experience teaches
 us that the world is not a nursery.  The ethical commands, to which religion
 seeks to lend its weight, require some other foundations instead, for human
 society cannot do without them, and it is dangerous to link up obedience to
 them with religious belief. If one attempts to assign to religion its place
 in man's evolution, it seems not so much to be a lasting acquisition, as a
 parallel to the neurosis which the civilized individual must pass through
 on his way from childhood to maturity."
           [Sigmund Freud, "Moses and Monotheism", 1932]
%
"A great deal is already gained with the first step: the humanization
 of nature.  Impersonal forces and destinies cannot be approached...
 if everywhere in nature there are Beings around us of a kind that we
 know in our own society.... we can apply the same methods against these
 violent supermen outside that we employ in our own society; we can try
 to adjure them, to appease them, to bribe them, and, by so influencing
 them, we may rob them of a part of their power
         [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion", 1927]
%
"No, our science is no illusion. But an illusion it would be to
 suppose that what science cannot give us we can get elsewhere."
       [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion", 1927]
%
"Demons do not exist any more than gods do, being
 only the products of the psychic activity of man."
 [Sigmund Freud, New York Times Magazine, 6 May 1956]
%
"It would be very nice if there were a God who created the world
 and was a benevolent providence, and if there were a moral order
 in the universe and an after-life; but it is a very striking
 fact that all this is exactly as we are bound to wish it to be."
                     [Sigmund Freud]
%
"Religion would then be the universal obsessional neurosis of humanity;
 like the obsessisional neurosis of children...If this view is right,
 it is to be supposed that a turning away from religion is bound to
 occur with the fatal inevitability of a process of growth."
                     [Sigmund Freud]
%
"In the long run, nothing can withstand reason and experience,
 and the contradiction religion offers to both is only too palpable."
                     [Sigmund Freud]
%
"Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from
 the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires."
       [Sigmund Freud, "New Introductory
        Lectures on Psychoanalysis"]
%
"When a man is freed of religion, he has a better
 chance to live a normal and wholesome life."
  [Sigmund Freud, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief,
   Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by
   James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"The gods retain their threefold task: they must exorcize the terrors
 of nature, they must reconcile men to the cruelty of fate, particularly
 as it is shown in death, and they must compensate them for the sufferings
 and privations which a civilized life in common has imposed on them."
       [Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion", 1927]
%
"The greater the number of men to whom the treasures of knowledge become
 accessible, the more widespread is the falling-away from religious
 belief -- at first only from its obsolete and objectionable trappings,
 but later from its fundamental postulates as well."
                         [Sigmund Freud]
%
"The different religions have never overlooked the part played by the
 sense of guilt in civilization. What is more, they come forward with a
 claim...to save mankind form this sense of guilt, which they call sin."
        [Sigmund Freud, "Civilization and its Discontents"]
%
"They'll do anything, so long as there's no chance the neighbors will
 find out about it. Neighbors have been responsible for more straight
 living than all the great religions of the world combined."
          [Esther Friesner, "Here Be Demons", pg. 143]
%
"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend
 Do it in the name of heaven - you can justify it in the end."
              [From One Tin Soldier]
%
"Man is forbidden to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
 He acts against God's command...  From the standpoint of the Church,
 which represents authority, this is essentially sin.  From the
 standpoint of man, however, this is the beginning of human freedom."
                [Erich Fromm (1900-1980)]
%
"Once a doctrine, however irrational, has gained power in
 a society, millions of people will believe it rather than
 feel ostracized and isolated."
        [Erich Fromm, "An Analysis of Some
         Types of Religious Experience"]
%
"I turned to speak to God/About the world's despair;/But to
 make bad matters worse/I found God wasn't there."
       [Robert Frost (1874-1963)]
%
"Now, I'm a minister, but if I have to remove the Bible,
 remove the cross from the wall, remove the Ten Commandments
 to get that government money, I'll do it."
      [Rev. Larry Fryer, from NY Times 03/24/2001]
%
"A world filled with wonder
 a cold fathomless sky
 a man's life so meager he can but wonder why
 he cries out to heaven, its truth to reveal
 the answer only silence for God isn't real

 Go ask the starving millions under Stalin's cruel reign
 go ask the child with cancer who eases her pain
 and go to your churches if that's how you feel
 but don't ask me to follow for God isn't real

 He forms in his image a weak and foolish man
 speaks to him in symbols that few understand
 for a life of devotion the death blow he deals
 we owe him only hatred but God isn't real

 Go tell the executioner of the power he can't defy
 go tell his shackled victim of the mercy on high
 and go to your churches go beg, pray and kneel
 but don't ask me to follow for God isn't real
 No - no matter how he should be - God isn't real.
    [Robbie Fulks, "God Isn't Real" from his
     album- Let's Kill Saturday Night (1998)]
%
"The right of holding slaves is clearly established in the
 Holy Scriptures, both by precept and example."
   [Rev. R. Furman, D. D., Baptist, of South Carolina]
%
"He asked: "Why did God create  mosquitos"?
 I answered: "To watch man chasing them, as it
    seems God likes to watch Nintendo games".
           [Hussein Gaafar]
%
"...a noble practice which does honor to women."
  [Sheik Gad Al Haq Ali Gad Al Haq, explaining
   Mohammed's law for removing part or all of a
   girl's clitoris to reduce her sexual appetite]
%
"Do not allow the Church or State to govern
 your thought or dictate your judgment."
    [Matilda Joslyn Gage, "Woman,
     Church and State", 1893]
%
"Throughout this protracted & disgraceful assault on
 American womanhood the clergy baptized each new insult and
 act of injustice in the name of the Christian religion..."
            [Matilda Joslyn Gage]
%
"Those who are enslaved to their sects are not merely devoid of
 all sound knowledge, but they will never even stop to learn."
                       [Galen]
%
"I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense,
  reason, and intellect had intended for us to forgo their use."
                             [Galileo]
%
"In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is
 not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual."
              [Galileo Galilei]
%
"They know that it is human nature to take up causes whereby a man may
 oppress his neighbor, no matter how unjustly. ... Hence they have had
 no trouble in finding men who would preach the damnability and heresy
 of the new doctrine from the very pulpit..."
                   [Galileo Galilei, 1615]
%
"The doctrine that the earth is neither the center of the
 universe nor immovable, but moves even with a daily rotation,
 is absurd, and both philosophically and theologically false,
 and at the least an error of faith."
   [Catholic Church's decision against Galileo Galilei]
%
"I think that in the discussion of natural problems we ought to begin
 not with the Scriptures, but with experiments, and demonstrations."
   [Galileo Galilei, "The Authority of Scripture in Philosophical
    Controversies", which was condemned by the Inquisition]
%
"It vexes me when they would constrain science by the
 authority of the Scriptures, and yet do not consider
 themselves bound to answer reason and experiment."
    [Galileo Galilei, "The Authority of
     Scripture in Philosophical Controversies"]
%
"It is surely harmful to souls to make it
 a heresy to believe what is proved."
  [Galileo Galilei, "The Authority of
   Scripture in Philosophical Controversies"]
%
"Having been admonished by this Holy Office [the Inquisition] entirely to
 abandon the false opinion that the Sun was the center of the universe and
 immovable, and that the Earth was not the center of the same and that it
 moved... I abjure with a sincere heart and unfeigned faith, I curse and
 detest the said errors and heresies, and generally all and every error
 and sect contrary to the Holy Catholic Church."
          [Galileo Galilei, Recantation, 22 June 1633]
%
"...nothing physical which sense-experience sets before our eyes, or
 which necessary demonstrations prove to us, ought to be called into
 question (much less condemned) upon the testimony of biblical passages."
    [Galileo Galilei, quoted in "Blind Watchers of the Sky", p. 101]
%
"Organized Christianity has probably done more to retard the ideals
 that were its founder's than any other agency in the world."
                    [Richard Le Gallienne]
%
"I could prove God statistically."
       [George Gallup]
%
"Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture,
 an intransigent mind, and a step that travels unlimited roads."
            [John Galt, in Ayn Rand's _Atlas Shrugged_]
%
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians,
 Your christians are so unlike your christ"
            [Mahatma Gandhi]
%
"The most fatal blow to progress is slavery of the intellect. The
 most sacred right of humanity is the right to think, and next to the
 right to think is the right to express that thought without fear."
         [Helen H. Gardner, _Men, Women and Gods_]
%
"I do not know the needs of a god or of another world.... I do
 know that women make shirts for seventy cents a dozen in this one.
       [Helen H. Gardener, "Men, Women and Gods," 1885]
%
"Every injustice that has ever been fastened upon women
 in a Christian country has been "authorized by the Bible"
 and riveted and perpetuated by the pulpit."
                [Helen H. Gardner]
%
"But why are Paul's commands not followed to-day? Why are not the words,
 sister, mother, daughter, wife, only names for degradation and dishonor?
 Because men have grown more honorable than their religion, and the strong
 arm of the law, supported by the stronger arm of public sentiment, demands
 greater justice than St. Paul ever dreamed of. Because men are growing grand
 enough to recongize the fact that right is not masculine only, and that
 justice knows no sex. And because the church no longer makes the laws.
 Saints have been retired from the legal profession. I can't recall the name
 of a single one who is practicing law now. Have any of you ever met a saint
 at the bar? Women are indebted to-day for their emancipation from a position
 of hopeless degradation, not to their religion nor to Jehovah, but to the
 justice and honor of the men who have defied his commands. That she does not
 crouch to-day where St. Paul tried to bind her, she owes to the men who are
 grand and brave enough to ignore St. Paul, and rise superior to his God."
                         [Helen H. Gardener]
%
"One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible
 from one end to the other.  Reading the Bible straight through is at
 least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts
 are, of course, simply amazing.  God is an extremely uneven writer,
 but when He's good, nobody can touch Him."
              [John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan 1983]
%
"Let me confess at once that I find something profoundly impious, almost
 blasphemous, about setting limits of any sort on the power of God to bring
 things about in any manner he chooses.  If God creates a world of particles
 and waves, dancing in obedience to mathematical and physical laws, who are
 we to say that he cannot make use of those laws to cover the surface of a
 small planet with living creatures?  A god whose creation is so imperfect
 that he must be continually adjusting it to make it work properly seems to
 me a god of relatively low order, hardly worthy of any worship."
       [Martin Gardner, _The Ambidextrous Universe_  pg.136]
%
"How many conservatives, who talk constantly about restoring America's
 Christian heritage, have you heard mention that Washington, John Adams,
 Franklin, Jefferson, and most of the other founding fathers, as well as
 Lincoln, were not Christians? It was Washington who insisted that no
 reference to God appear in the Constitution. "The government of the United
 States," he declared, "is not in any sense founded on the Christian
 religion." Jefferson produced a life of Jesus (still in print) from which
 he removed all the miracles to let the heart of Jesus' teachings shine
 forth. Not one of the first seven presidents professed the Christian faith."
               [Martin Gardner, Foreword to "Steve Allen
                on the Bible, Religion, & Morality"]
%
"The divorce between church and state ought to be absolute.  It ought
 to be absolute.  It ought to be so absolute that no church property
 anywhere, in any state, or in any nation, should be exempt from taxation,
 for if you exempt the church property of any church organization, to that
 extent you impose tax upon the whole community."
             [US Pres. James A. Garfield,
              speech to Congress, June 22, 1874]
%
"Man created God, not God, man"
    [Guiseppi Garibaldi]
%
"The priest is the personification of falsehood."
          [Guiseppi Garibaldi]
%
"Dear friends, -- Man has created God, not God man. Yours ever, Garibaldi."
            [Guiseppi Garibaldi, entire text of letter]
%
"For life is at the start a chaos in which one is lost.  The individual
 suspects this, but he is frightened at finding himself face to face
 with this terrible reality, and tries to cover it over with a curtain
 of fantasy, where everything is clear.  It does not worry him that his
 "ideas" are not true, he uses them as trenches for the defense of his
 existence, as scarecrows to frighten away reality."
                    [Jose Ortega Y Gasset]
%
"Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very
 efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning."
                       [Bill Gates]
%
"To make the Greeks into the fathers of true civilization- the fathers,
 in a word, of the first Enlightenment- was to subvert the foundations
 of Christian histiography by treating man's past as a secular, not
 sacred, record.  The primacy of Greece meant the primacy of philosophy,
 and the primacy of philosophy made nonsense of the claim that religion
 was man's central concern."
     [Peter Gay, "The Enlightenment - The Rise of Modern Paganism"]
%
"Eve was framed."
 [Annie Laurie Gaylor]
%
"Nothing fails like prayer."
   [Annie Laurie Gaylor]
%
"Superstitions typically involve seeing order where in fact there
 is none, and denial amounts to rejecting evidence of regularities,
 sometimes even ones that are staring us in the face."
        [Murray Gell-Mann, "Quark and the Jaguar"]
%
"I would recommend that skeptics devote even more effort than they do now
 to understanding the reasons why so many people want or need to believe."
          [Murray Gell-Mann, "Quark and the Jaguar"]
%
"The persistence of erroneous beliefs exacerbates the widespread anachronistic
 failure to recognize the urgent problems that face humanity on this planet."
              [Murray Gell-Mann, "Quark and the Jaguar"]
%
"Many...freely confess that they believe what it makes them feel good to
 believe.  Evidence doesn't play much of a role. They are alleviating
 their fear of randomness by identifying regularities that are not there."
                       [Murray Gell-Mann]
%
"...the only "right" a sodomite has in a
 Chrisian Theocracy is the right to die."
   [Dan Gentry, of Christian Research]
%
"No theory is too false, no fable too absurd, no superstition too degrading
 for acceptance when it has become embedded in common belief. Men will
 submit themselves to torture and to death, mothers will immolate (burn)
 their children at the bidding of beliefs they thus accept."
                  [Henry George (1839-1897)]
%
"Against human stupidity, even the gods fight in vain."
               [German Proverb]
%
"My thoughts will not cater to priest or dictator;
 No person can deny,
 Die Gedanken Sind Frei!"
       [16th century German peasant song]
%
"It ain't necessary so,
 It ain't necessarily so--
 De t'ings dat yo' li'ble
 To read in de Bible--
 It ain't necessarily so.

 Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale,
 Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale--
 Fo' he made his home in
 Dat fish's abdomen--
 Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale.

 Methus'lah live nine hundred years,
 Methus'lah live nine hundred years--
 But who calls dat livin'
 When no gal'll give in
 To no man what's nine hundred years?

 I'm preachin' dis sermon to show
 It ain't nessa, ain't nessa,
 Ain't necessarily so!"
     [Ira Gershwin, part of his lyrics to the
      song "It Ain't Necessarily So" (1935)]
%
"All in all, I can't say I believe in god. If, in fact, I ever find
 out that he does indeed exist, I think I'll stay away from him,
 because if he's responsible for half the things he gets credit for,
 he's got to be one mean son of a bitch."
            [Peter Gether, _A Cat Abroad_, pp. 89-90]
%
"As the happiness of a future life is the great object of religion, we may hear
 without surprise or scandal that the introduction, or at least the abuse, of
 Christianity had some influence on the decline and fall of the Roman empire.
 The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity;
 the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of
 military spirit were buried in the cloister. A large portion of public and
 private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and
 devotion, and the soldiers' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of
 both sexes who could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity. Faith,
 Zeal, curiosity, and more earthly passions of malice and ambition kindled the
 flame of theological factions, whose conflicts were sometimes bloody and
 always implacable; the attention of the emperors was diverted from camps to
 synods; the Roman world was oppressed by a new species of tyranny, and the
 persecuted sects became the secret enemies of the country."
          [Edward Gibbons, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman
           Empire", 1781.  The Roman Empire fell about 100
           years after it was converted to Christianity.]
%
"The various modes of worship which prevailed in the Roman world
 were all considered by the people as equally true; by the philosopher
 as equally false; and by the magistrate as equally useful."
  [Edward Gibbons, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire", 1781]
%
"Of the three Popes, John the Twenty-third was the first victim; he fled and
 was brought back a prisoner; the most scandalous charges were suppressed; the
 Vicar of Christ was only accused of piracy, murder, rape, sodomy, and incest."
          [Gibbons, _The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_]
%
"A state of skepticism and suspense may amuse a few inquisitive minds. But the
 practice of superstition is so congenial to the multitude that, if they are
 forcibly awakened, they still regret the loss of their pleasing vision."
        [Edward Gibbons, _Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_]
%
"To swallow and follow, whether old doctrine or new
 propaganda, is a weakness still dominating the human mind."
            [Charlotte P. Gilman]
%
"The Roman Catholic motto is ourselves alone for fellow Roman Catholics.
 We must defeat all heretics (non-Roman Catholics) at the ballot box.  The
 holy father states that negative tactics are fatal.  The demands of the
 holy father (the pope) are that the public services should be 100% Roman
 Catholic soon.  Care must be taken that no suspicion may be raised when
 Roman Catholics are secretly given more government jobs than Protestants,
 Jews, and other heretics."
                [Australian Archbishop Gilroy, 1940]
%
"The Catholic Church must be the biggest corporation in the U.S.
 We have a branch in almost every neighborhood. Our assets and
 real estate holdings must exceed those of Standard Oil, A.T.&T,
 and U.S. Steel combined. And our roster of dues-paying members
 must be second only to the tax rolls of the U.S. Government."
     [Father Richard Ginder, prominent Catholic priest,
      in _Our Sunday Visitor_, May 22, 1960 issue]
%
"The activities engaged in by the Christian Coalition...were a vital
 part of why we had a revolution at the polls on November 8, 1994."
                      [Newt Gingrich]
%
"God's will is directly proportional to public opinion."
             [David Paul Gladden]
%
"The notion of religious liberty is that you cannot be forced
 to participate in a religious ceremony that's not of your
 choosing simply because you're out-voted."
         [Ira Glasser, Exec. Dir.of ACLU, 1995]
%
"Just last week I saw two homosexual men at the supermarket. The
 supermarket! In broad daylight!  That's what you get when you
 worship the creation instead of the creator."
     [Rev. Terry Glidden, Washington Post, Oct. 5, 1999]
%
"...historically it is clear that the heart and
 soul of anti-Semitism rested in Christianity"
 [Glock & Stark, "Christian Beliefs and Anti-Semitism",
  1966, page xvi, 5-year study by Survey Research
  Department of University of California]
%
Christianity, n.
    A superbly-designed religion; I wouldn't dream of owning a slave who
    wasn't a Christian.
             [The Godling's Glossary]
%
"God gave the savior to the German people. We have faith, deep and
 unshakeable faith, that he [Hitler] was sent to us by God to save German."
        [Hermann Goering, from Louis L. Snyder, "Hitler's
         Elite, Shocking Profiles of the Reich's Most
         Notorious Henchmen", Berkley Books, 1990]
%
"The unnatural, that too is natural."
            [Goethe]
%
"The happy do not believe in miracles."
            [Goethe]
%
"This occupation with ideas of immortality is for people of
 rank, and especially for ladies who have nothing to do. But
 a man of real worth who has something to do here, and must
 toil and struggle to produce day by day, leaves the future
 world to itself, and is active and useful in this."
             [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]
%
"The real, the deepest, the sole theme of the world and
 of history, to which all other themes are subordinate,
 remains the conflict of belief and unbelief."
                  [Goethe]
%
"Nature and Mind! - Terms Christian ears resist!
 For talk like this we burn the atheist!
 Such words are full of danger and despite;
 Nature means Sin, and Mind the Devil!
 The two breed Doubt, misshapen evil.
 Their ill-begot hermaphrodite."
      [Goethe, "Faust",
       Philip Wayne, Penguin Books]
%
"Here, too, it would be best you heard
 One only and staked all upon your master's word.
 Yes, stick to words at any rate;
 There never was a surer gate
 Into the temple, Certainty."
   [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Faust"
    Mephisto, angel of the devil, to Faust]
%
"There is nothing more odious than the majority. It consist of a
 few powerful men who lead the way; of accommodating rascals and
 submissive weaklings; and of a mass of men who trot after them
 without in the least knowing their own minds."
               [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]
%
"Vaccination is a direct violation of the everlasting covenant that
 God made with Noah after the flood....  Vaccination never saved
 human life.  It does not prevent smallpox."
       [_The Golden Age_, (predecessor to _Awake!_),
        Feb. 4, 1931 (Jehovah's Witnesses)]
%
"Religion is a superstition that originated in man's mental ability
 to solve natural phenomena.  The Church is an organized institution
 that has always been a stumbling block to progress."
               [Emma Goldman, "What I Believe"]
%
"I'm thankful I didn't believe in God, because it
 would have been another thing for me to conquer."
    [Kim Goldman is quoted, in reference to
     her brother Ron Goldman's murder]
%
"However, on religious issures there can be little or no compromise.
 There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious
 beliefs.  There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than
 Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being.
 But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf
 should be used sparingly.  The religious factions that are growing
 throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom.
 They are trying to force government leaders into following their position
 100 percent.  If you disagree with these religious groups on a
 particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of
 money or votes or both.  I'm frankly sick and tired of the political
 preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be
 a moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C," and "D."  Just who do
 they think they are?  And from where do they presume to claim the
 right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?  And I am even more angry as
 a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who
 thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll
 call in the Senate.  I am warning them today:  I will fight them every
 step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all
 Americans in the name of "conservatism."
                    [Senator Barry Goldwater]
%
"I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's ass."
   [Sen. Barry Goldwater, when asked what he thought of
    Jerry Falwell's suggestion that all good Christians
    should be against Sandra Day O'Connor's nomination
    to the U.S. Supreme Court]
%
"Religious factions will go on imposing their will on others unless
 the decent people connected to them recognize that religion has no
 place in public policy. They must learn to make their views known
 without trying to make their views the only alternatives."
                [Barry Goldwater, 1981 speech]
%
"By maintaining the separation of church and state, the United
 States has avoided the intolerance which has so divided the
 rest of the world with religious wars"
                [Barry Goldwater, 1981]
%
"If there is a God, atheism must strike Him
 as less of an insult than religion."
    [Edmond and Jules de Goncourt]
%
"I talk to my only friend Jesus our LORD! I know JESUS understands my
 terrible desires and ect. I have tords little boys! And the main reason
 I murdered them little BOYS, is because our society is so AGAINST the
 fact of CHILDREN-DOING-SEX together or with anybody! I believe children
 should be ABLE to do sex! And I can ARGUE that all the way to the U.S.
 Supreme Court! SEX is a great GIFT that Jesus gave us all!!!!"
    [Freddy Goode, serial killer, in a letter to one of his lawyers]
%
"'God works in many ways his wonders to perform.'  But He's not a
 skillful mechanic.  A man drives over a cliff and 'by a miracle'
 he only breaks his back.  It would be more divine if he were a
 better driver and stayed on the road."
                    [Paul Goodman]
%
"i don't think evolution should be taught as a fact but as a theory that
 some people believe in.  i don't really know about this though, i haven't
 thought about it really but there's no way it should be taught as the truth."
         [Mark Goodwin, on talk.origins, 10/17/1994]
%
"What we have here is religious bigotry, and it represents the same insidious
 type of exclusion that I experienced growing up black in Dixie."
     [Morgan State prof. Stefan Goodwin, on religious convocation
      ceremonies, Washington Post, August 17, 1994]
%
"Atheism keeps an open mind and does not flinch from rejecting the
 old, whenever it is a hurdle on the road towards a common humility."
                 [GORA, Indian atheist]
%
"I believe in serving God and trying to understand and obey God's will for
 our lives.  Cynics may wave the idea away, saying God is a myth, useful in
 providing comfort to the ignorant and in keeping them obedient.  I know in my
 heart - beyond all arguing and beyond any doubt - that the cynics are wrong."
      [Vice Pres. Al Gore's commencement address at Harvard, 1994]
%
"Paradise is one of the crass fictions invented by
 the high priests and fathers of the church..."
     [Maxim Gorki, "Culture of the People"]
%
"Can God deliver a religion addict?"
  [Marjoe Gortner, Ex-Evangelist]
%
"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple
 and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and
 because good teachers understand exactly why it is false.  What could be
 more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our
 entire intellectual heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing
 honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment
 to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any
 general understanding of science as an enterprise?"
          [Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer"]
%
"The argument that the literal story of Genesis can qualify as science
 collapses on three major grounds: the creationists' need to invoke
 miracles in order to compress the events of the earth's history into
 the biblical span of a few thousand years; their unwillingness to
 abandon claims clearly disproved, including the assertion that all
 fossils are products of Noah's flood; and their reliance upon distortion,
 misquote, half-quote, and citation out of context to characterize the
 ideas of their opponents."
        [Stephen Jay Gould, "The Verdict on Creationism",
         The Skeptical Inquirer, Winter 87/88, pg. 186]
%
"In science, "fact" can only mean "confirmed to such a degree that
 it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent." I suppose that
 apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not
 merit equal time in physics classrooms."
                    [Stephen J. Gould]
%
"When people learn no tools of judgment and merely follow
 their hopes, the seeds of political manipulation are sown."
                [Stephen Jay Gould]
%
"Nothing is more dangerous than a dogmatic worldview--
 nothing more constraining, more blinding to innovation,
 more destructive of openness to novelty."
   [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"]
%
"The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only
 common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal
 after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos."
        [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"]
%
"Creationist critics often charge that evolution cannot be tested,
 and therefore cannot be viewed as a properly scientific subject
 at all. This claim is rhetorical nonsense."
       [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"]
%
"Our creationist detractors charge that evolution is an unproved and
 unprovable charade-- a secular religion masquerading as science. They
 claim, above all, that evolution generates no predictions, never
 exposes itself to test, and therefore stands as dogma rather than
 disprovable science.  This claim is nonsense.  We make and test risky
 predictions all the time; our success is not dogma, but a highly
 probable indication of evolution's basic truth."
         [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"]
%
"No rational order of divine intelligence unites species. The natural
 ties are genealogical along contingent pathways of history."
       [Stephen Jay Gould, "Dinosaur in a Haystack"]
%
"We are here because one odd group of fishes had a peculiar fin anatomy
 that could transform into legs for terrestrial creatures; because the
 earth never froze entirely during an ice age; because a small and
 tenuous species, arising in Africa a quarter of a million years ago,
 has managed, so far, to survive by hook and by crook. We may yearn for
 a 'higher' answer---but none exists."
        [Stephen Jay Gould, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief,
         Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by
         James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"The fundamentalists, by 'knowing' the answers before they start
 (examining evolution), and then forcing nature into the straitjacket
 of their discredited preconceptions, lie outside the domain of
 science---or of any honest intellectual inquiry."
   [Stephen Jay Gould, "Bully for Brontosaurus," 1990, quoted in
    "2000 Years of Disbelief, Famous People with the Courage to
    Doubt", by James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]
%
"Skepticism's bad rap arises from the impression that, however necessary the
 activity, it can only be regarded as a negative removal of false claims.
 Not so... Proper debunking is done in the interest of an alternate model of
 explanation, not as a nihilistic exercise. The alternate model is rationality
 itself, tied to moral decency--the most powerful joint instrument for good
 that our planet has ever known."
         [Stephen Jay Gould, from Michael Shermer, "Why People
          Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition &
          Other Confusions of Our Time, p. xii)]
%
"As in 1925, creationists are not battling for religion. They have been
 disowned by leading church men of all persuasions, for they debase religion
 even more than they misconstrue science. They are a motley collection to
 be sure, but their core of practical support lies with the evangelical
 right, and creationism is a mere stalking horse or subsidiary issue in a
 political program...The enemy is not fundamentalism; it is intolerance.
 In this case, the intolerance is perverse since it masquerades under the
 'liberal' rhetoric of 'equal time'."
                      [Stephen J Gould]
%
"God is not all that exists. God is all that does not exist."
         [Remy de Gourmont (1858-1915) French
          novelist, critic, philosopher]
%
"Religions revolve madly around sexual questions."
           [Remy de Gourmont]
%
"I think when a person has been found guilty of rape
 he should be castrated. That would stop him pretty quick."
                [Billy Graham, 1974]
%
"Let us realize that priests are not revealers of truth but only keepers
 of traditions, and that the purpose of both the scribes and their later
 translators was not to reveal the truth but to lay the basis of a
 theistic religion, based on the supernatural and the terrifying."
        [Lloyd Graham, "Deceptions and Myths of the Bible"]
%
"Nobody ever told us you had to be religious."
  [Nancy Grambo, whose son Buzz Grambo was
   kicked out of the BSA Southern Maryland
   Troop 427, for his lack of religious belief]
%
"Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church
 and the private schools, supported entirely by private
 contributions.  Keep the church and state forever separated."
         [Ulysses S. Grant, speech to the Army of
          the Tennessee, Des Moines,Iowa, 1875]
%
"I would suggest the taxation of all property
 equally whether church or corporation."
      [Ulysses S. Grant (1822-1885)]
%
"I would like to call your attention to ... an evil that, if allowed
 to continue, will probably lead to great trouble.... It is the
 accumulation of vast amounts of untaxed church property."
                    [Ulysses S. Grant]
%
"The fires of truth usually require much time to burn their way through
 those incrustations of moral and religious error which often environ
 the human mind as the products of a false education. But when they
 once enter, the work of convincement is complete."
                    [Kersey Graves]
%
"Christs soldiers fight best on their knees"
     [Brig. General Green, ACMTC]
%
"There is no other book between whose covers life is so cheap."
          [Ruth Hurmence Green, "The Born Again
           Skeptic's Guide to the Bible"]
%
"There was a time when religion ruled the
 world. It was known as The Dark Ages."
       [Ruth Hurmence Green]
%
"It is the position of some theists that their right to
 freedom OF religion is abridged when they are not allowed
 to violate the Rationalists right to freedom FROM religion."
     [James T. Green, jgreen@trumpet.calpoly.edu]
%
"Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought."
               [Graham Greene, 1981]
%
"Faith is the antithesis of proof."
  [NY State Supreme Court Justice
   Edward J. Greenfield, 1995]
%
"This is not an attack on the First Amendment rights of people who
 believe in faith healing.  We just don't believe the First Amendment
 allows them to inflict their views upon their children and let them
 die from such things as infections, when one quick trip to a doctor
 would cure the problem.  Children should not have to die to uphold
 the religious beliefs of their parents."
  [Scott Greenwood, Children's Healthcare Is a Legal Duty (CHILD)]
%
"When you arrive in a city, summon the bishops, clergy and people,
 and preach a solemn sermon on faith; then select certain men of
 good repute to help you in trying the heretics and suspects denounced
 before your tribunal.  All who on examination are found guilty or
 suspected of heresy must promise to absolutely obey the commands of
 the Church.  If they refuse, you must prosecute them."
         [Pope Gregory I, order to the Dominicans
          on their duties in the Inquisition, 1231]
%
"I don't care anything about the separation of church and state"
   [Rev. Ron Griffin, pres. of Detroit Urban League, on Gov.
    Engler's plan to use churches to deliver state services.
    Oct 18, 1995, Detroit Free Press, article by Dawson Bell]
%
"In fact, if Christ himself stood in my way, I, like
 Nietzsche, would not hesitate to squish him like a worm."
                [Che Guevara]
%
"Never wage war on religion, nor upon seemingly holy institutions,
 for this thing has too great a force upon the minds of fools."
        [Francesco Guicciardini, "Ricordi Politici"]
%
"When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell "Stop!"
 to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind. Then
 recite a portion of the Bible or sing a hymn."
      [Mormon _Guide to Self-Control_]
%
"It has often been repeated that the abolition of slavery among modern people
 is entirely due to Christians.  That, I think, is saying too much.  Slavery
 existed for a long period in the heart of Christian society, without its
 being particularly astonished or irritated.  A multitude of causes, and a
 great development in other ideas and principles of civilization, were
 necessary for the abolition of this iniquity of all iniquities."
      [Francois-Pierre-Guillaume Guizot (1787-1874), French historian
       and statesman, in "European Civilization," vol. I., p.110]
%
"What does every religion lay claim to?  The governance of human passions
 and of human will.  Every religion is a curb, a power, a government.  It
 comes in the name of divine law to subdue human nature.  Therefore human
 liberty is its especial antagonist, which it is its object to vanquish.
 To this purpose are its mission and hope directed."
           [Francois-Pierre-Guillaume Guizot (1787-1874),
            French historian and statesman]
%
"I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed
 because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do."
                     [D. Dale Gulledge]
%
"School vouchers as proposed by Reagan and Bush do not represent free market
 competition.  The reason is fairly simple.  The source of the money is not
 the consumers.  The vouchers are paid for by tax dollars.  School vouchers
 are an attempt to breach the separation of church and state by allowing
 individuals who are not constrained by the prohibition against Congress
 passing laws respecting religion to spend tax dollars for the benefit of
 the religion of their choice.

 I have no objection to parents sending their children to the school of
 their choice.  The problem with public funding of schools is that it is an
 inherently collectivist system.  The restraints that have been placed on
 what public schools must teach and what they are prohibited from teaching
 protect us to a limited extend from the full magnitude of the damage that
 they have the potential to do if used as a propaganda tool.

 I have never granted that anyone else rightfully has the freedom to choose
 how my money will be spent.  The only difference between that and slavery is
 that the masters do not have the authority to beat, sell, or kill me if I
 choose not to work.  Send your children to schools that brainwash them any
 way that you wish.  But do not insist on paying for it with money taken
 from me by taxation."
              [D. Dale Gulledge (ddg@cci.com)]
%
"It is probably safe to say that since the late 1960s, nearly every
 major religious group in the country has tried to get some offending
 TV material altered or banned. So has every racial minority group and
 almost every important national-ethnic group."
        [Max Gunther, in _TV Guide_ article, February 9, 1974]
%
"A rational thought a day keeps religion away"
           [Matt Guttentag]
%
"We must conduct research and then accept the results.  If they don't
 stand up to experimentation, Buddha's own words must be rejected."
      [Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama, _Time_ April 11, 1988]
%
"I believe that at every level of society--familial, tribal, national and
 international--the key to a happier and more succesful world is the growth
 of compassion.  We do not need to become religious, nor do we need to believe
 in an ideology.  All that is necessary is for each of us to develop our good
 human qualities.  I try to treat whoever I meet as an old friend. This gives
 me a genuine feeling of happiness.  It is the practice of compassion."
             [Tenzin Gyatso, The XIVth Dalai Lama]
%
"As soon as you are willing to discard observational data because it conflicts
 with religion, you are giving up any hope of ever really understanding the
 universe. As soon as you pick religion as the touchstone of reality, then we
 have to start discussing how one can demonstrate the correctness of one
 religion over another when different *religions* disagree."
              --Wilson Heydt (whheydt@PacBell.COM)

   "The answer is simple: kill the heretics.  History shows us that
    this is the actual solution that competing religions apply -- trial
    by combat or trial by ordeal. God is the final arbiter. What a sad
    waste of human potential it has proven to be."
             [Paul Hager (hagerp@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu)]
%
"Humans can find a pattern in just about anything, and we must find such
 a pattern if we are to comprehend things.  Mightn't people be mistaking
 this order imposed by the human mind for order caused by God?"
       [J J Hahn (hahn0009@gold.tc.umn.edu) on alt.atheism]
%
"Religion is still parasitic in the interstices of our knowledge which
 have not yet been filled.  Like bed-bugs in the cracks of walls and
 furniture, miracles lurk in the lacunae of science.  The scientist
 plasters up these cracks in our knowledge; the more militant Rationalist
 swats the bugs in the open.  Both have their proper sphere and they
 should realize that they are allies."
     [John Haldane, "Science and Life: Essays of a Rationalist"]
%
"Scientific education and religious education are incompatible. The clergy
 have ceased to interfere with education at the advanced state, with which
 I am directly concerned, but they have still got control of that of
 children.  This means that the children have to learn about Adam and Noah
 instead of about Evolution; about David who killed Goliath, instead of Koch
 who killed cholera; about Christ's ascent into heaven instead of
 Montgolfier's and Wright's.  Worse than that, they are taught that it is
 a virtue to accept statements without adequate evidence, which leaves them
 a prey to quacks of every kind in later life, and makes it very difficult
 for them to accept the methods of thought which are successful in science."
                         [J. B. S. Haldane]
%
"My practise as a scientist is atheistic.  That is to say, when I set up an
 experiment I assume that no god, angel, or devil is going to interfere with
 its course;  and this assumption has been justified by such success as I have
 achieved in my professional career.  I should therefore be intellectually
 dishonest if I were not also atheistic in the affairs of the world.  And I
 should be a coward if I did not state my theoretical views in public."
    [J. B. S. Haldane, cited by L. Beverly Halstead in his article
     "Evolution -- the Fossils Say Yes!"  in  _Science and Creationism_,
     edited by Ashley Montagu [Oxford U. Press, 1984] page 241)]
%
"The influences that have lifted the race to a higher moral level are
 education, freedom, leisure, the humanizing tendency of a better-supplied
 and more interesting life.  In a word, science and liberalism- the two
 forces, fundamentally skeptical, that we have seen continuously at work
 in human progress- have accomplished the very things for which religion
 claims the credit."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Outline of Bunk"]
%
"After all, the principle objection which a thinking man has to
 religion is that religion is not true -- and is not even sane."
         [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"The fear of gods and devils is never anything but a pitiable
 degradation of the human mind."
         [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"This question is put to Christians who believe that the Bible unerringly
 describes God and reports the commands and the characteristics of God. If
 there is a God, it is natural that we should wish to be quite correct in
 our understanding of that God's nature. So, we ask: Can and does God lie?

 Looking this point up in the mazes of Holy Writ, we discover confusion. In
 Numbers xxiii, 19, we are told: "God is not a man, that he should lie."
 This is put even mere strongly in Hebrews vi, 18, where we read: "It was
 impossible for God to lie."

 But do these citations settle the matter? Ah, no, we are upset in, our
 calculations the moment we turn to 2 Thessalonians ii, 11, where we read:
 "For this cause God shall send them strong delusions, that they should
 believe a lie." And in I Kings xxii, 23, God is thus reported: "Now,
 therefore, behold, the Lord hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of all
 these thy prophets, and the Lord hath spoken evil concerning thee."

 Can God lie? Can the Bible lie? Anyway, there is a mistake
 somewhere. The big mistake is in entertaining the idea of a God."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"When we read that some minor scientist (usually a skilled technical worker
 but not a thinker in science) has "found God" somewhere, we are not excited.
 We know this is only a form of words, meaning only that the scientific worker,
 turning away from science, has rediscovered the stale old assumption of
 theology, "There is a God." We find invariably (as we should expect) that
 there is no satisfactory definition or description or identification or
 location or proof of a God. "God" is merely a word, whether it is used by a
 preacher or a mystic in a laboratory."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"The fact that millions of people still believe in a hell of eternal punishment
 for sinners and unbelievers is a drastic reminder of the need for persistent,
 progressive education of the masses. We have as yet only begun to realize the
 possibilities of progress. But science, rationalism and humanism have pointed
 the way, they have taken the first great steps, and we must keep right
 ahead on the highway of modernism."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Don't take our word for it. Read the Bible itself. Read the
 statements of preachers. And you will understand that God is the
 most desperate character, the worst villain in all fiction."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Commonly, those who have professed the strongest motives of love of a
 God have demonstrated the deepest hatred toward human joy and liberty."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Theism tells men that they are the slaves of a God. Atheism
 assures men that they are the investigators and users of nature."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Belief in gods and belief in ghosts is identical. God is taken
 as a more respectable word than ghost, but it means no more."
         [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Religion, throughout the greater part of its history, has been a form of
 "holy" terrorism. It still aims its terrors at men, but modern realism
 and the spread of popular enlightenment has progressively robbed those
 terrors of their old-fashioned effectiveness. Wherever men take religion
 very seriously -- wherever there is devout belief -- there is also the
 inseparable feeling of fear."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Christian theology has taught men that they should submit with
 unintelligent resignation to the worst real evils of life and waste
 their time in consideration of imaginary evils in "the life to come."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Priests and preachers have tricked, terrified and exploited
 mankind. They have lied for glory of God." They have collected
 immense financial tribute for "the glory of God." Whatever may be
 said about the character of individuals among the clergy, the
 character of the profession as a whole has been distinctly and
 drastically anti-human. And of course the most sincere among the
 clergy have been the most dangerous, for they have been willing to
 go to the most extreme lengths of intolerance for "the glory of God."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Perhaps religion might be dismissed as unimportant if it were
 merely theoretical. If it were merely theoretical. It is difficult,
 however, if not impossible to separate theory and practice.
 Religion, to be sure, is full of inconsistencies between theory and
 practice; but there is and has always been sternly and largely a
 disposition of religion to enforce its theory in the conduct of
 life; religion has meant not simply dogmatism in abstract thinking
 but intolerance in legal and social action. Religion interferes
 with life and, being false, it necessarily interferes very much to
 the detriment of the sound human interests of life."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"For centuries men have fought in the most unusual and devious
 ways to prove the existence of a God. But evidently a God, if there
 were a God, has been hiding out. He has never been discovered or
 proved. One would think a God, if any, should have revealed himself
 unmistakably. Isn't this non-appearance of a God (the non-
 appearance of a God in the shape of a single bit of evidence for
 his existence) a pretty, strong, sufficient proof of non-existence?"
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"A God of love, a God of wrath, a God of jealousy, a God of
 bigotry, a God of vulgar tirades, a God of cheating and lying --
 yes, the Christian God is given all of these characteristics, and
 isn't it a wretched mess to be offered to men in this twentieth
 century? The beginning of wisdom, the beginning of humanism, the
 beginning of progress is the rejection of this absurd,
 extravagantly impossible myth of a God."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Look at the God idea from any angle, and it is foolish, it doesn't make sense,
 but extravagantly proposes more mysteries than it assumes to explain.  For
 instance, is it sensible that a real God would leave mankind in such confusion
 and debate about his character and his laws?

 There have been many alleged revelations of God. There have, indeed, been many
 Gods as there have been many Bibles. And in different ages and different lands
 an endless game of guessing and disputing has gone on. Men have argued blindly
 about God. They still argue -- just as blindly.

 And if there is a God, we must conclude that he has willfully left men in the
 dark. He has not wanted men to know about him. Assuming his existence, then
 it would follow that he would have perfect ability to give a complete and
 universal explanation of himself, so that all men could see and know without
 further uncertainty. A real God could exhibit himself clearly to all men and
 have all men following his will to the last letter without a doubt or a slip.

 But when we examine even cursorily the many contradictory revelations of God,
 the many theories and arguments, the many and diverse principles of piety, we
 perceive that all this talk about God his been merely the natural floundering
 of human ignorance.

 There has been no reality in the God idea which men could discover and agree
 upon. The spectacle has been exactly what we should expect when men deal with
 theories of something which does not exist.

 Hidden Gods -- no Gods -- all we see is man's poor guesswork."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"... the Bible was a collection of books written at different times by
 different men -- a strange mixture of diverse human documents -- and a
 tissue of irreconcilable notions.  Inspired? The Bible is not even
 intelligent. It is not even good craftsmanship, but is full of
 absurdities and contradictions."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"A sober, devout man will interpret "God's will" soberly and
 devoutly. A fanatic, with bloodshot mind, will interpret "God's
 will" fanatically. Men of extreme, illogical views will interpret
 "God's will" in eccentric fashion. Kindly, charitable, generous men
 will interpret "God's will" according to their character."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Remember that millions of Christians still base their belief in a God
 upon the words of the Bible, which is a collection of the most
 flabbergasting fictions ever imagined -- by men, too, who had lawless
 but very poor and crude imagination. Ingersoll and numerous other
 critics have shot the Christian holy book full of holes. It is worthless
 and proves nothing concerning the existence of a God. The idea of a God
 is worthless and unprovable."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Talk of God leads by a direct road to the conclusion of
 atheism. The only sensible attitude is to dismiss the idea of God
 -- to get it out of the way of more important ideas. The wide
 dissemination of this intelligent atheistic attitude is one of the
 leading features of any program of popular education which is
 completely worthy of the name."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"With its fears and superstitions and prejudices, religion
 poisons the mind of any one who believes in it -- and even the best
 man, under the influence of religion, cannot reason wholesomely.
 Atheism, on the contrary, opens the mind to the clean winds of
 truth and establishes a fresh-air sanity."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Nobody has ever taken notable pains to locate the legendary heaven; but
 probably that is because nobody ever thought seriously of going to a heaven."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"A few weeks ago a hurricane struck the little religious community of Bethany,
 Okla. A number of pious citizens of the little town were killed. Houses were
 destroyed -- homes in which prayer and devotion reigned. A church was
 demolished.

 Only a few miles away is the large, wicked city of Oklahoma City -- at least
 we can certainly assume that, from the religious viewpoint, many sinners live
 in Oklahoma City. Assuming also (which is a great deal riskier assumption)
 that there is a God, why should he perpetrate this grim and sardonic joke?
 The sinners in the big city were left untouched. The godly folk in the little
 nearby village were punished by the evidences of God's wrath. How do the
 religious people interpret this calamity? Often and often they explain such
 calamities as flood, fire and storm by saying that God is angry at the sinful
 people and is warning them or destroying them for their sins. Was the
 hurricane in Bethany a sign of the love of God for his faithful worshipers?

 And God missed an even better chance, if there were a God who wished to punish
 rebels against his majesty and inscrutability. Just a few hundred miles north
 and east of Bethany, Okla., is Girard -- the home of The American Freeman: and
 The Debunker and The Joseph McCabe Magazine and the Little Blue Books -- the
 center of American free thought where an enormous stream of atheistic
 literature and. godless modern knowledge pours forth to enlighten  the masses.
 If there were a God directing hurricanes and he wanted to really "get" an
 uncompromising foe, whom he has no chance of persuading in the ordinary way,
 it would have been a devastating stroke for him to send his howling punitive
 blasts through the town of Girard. It would be a more remarkable suggestion
 of the avenging act of a God if only the Haldeman-Julius plant were destroyed
 and the rest of the town left unhurt -- and, as good neighbors, we shouldn't
 wish the Christian and respectable, people of Girard nor those who are
 respectable and not so Christian nor those who are Christian and not exactly
 respectable to suffer from our proximity and our propaganda of atheism.

 Is God a joker? No -- let us whisper it -- the joke is that there is no God.
 Hurricanes come upon the just and the unjust, the pious and the impious."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"To be true to the mythical conception of a God is to be false
 to the interests of mankind."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Credulity is not a crime for the individual -- but it is clearly a crime as
 regards the race. Just look at the actual consequences of credulity. For
 years men believed in the foul superstition of witchcraft and many poor
 people suffered for this foolish belief. There was a general belief in angels
 and demons, flying familiarly, yet skittishly through the air, and that belief
 caused untold distress and pain and tragedy. The most holy Catholic church
 (and, after it, the various Protestant sects) enforced the dogma that heresy
 was terribly sinful and punishable by death. Imagine -- but all you need do
 is to recount -- the suffering entailed by that belief.

 When one surveys the causes and consequences of credulity, it is apparent
 that this easy believer in the impossible, this readiness toward false and
 fanatical notions, has been indeed a most serious and major crime against
 humanity. The social life in any age, it may be said, is about what its extent
 of credulity guarantees. In an extremely credulous age, social life will be
 cruel and dark and treacherous. in a skeptical age, social life will be more
 humane. We assert that the philosophy of humanity -- that the best interests
 of the human race -- demand a strong statement and a repeated, enlightening
 statement of atheism."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Is God fair? The Christians say that God damns forever anyone who is skeptical
 about truth of bunkistic religion as revealed unto the holy haranguers.  What
 this means is that a God, if any, punishes a man for using his reason.

 If there is a God in existence, reasons should be available for his
 existence. Assuming that such a precious thing as a man's eternal future
 depends on his belief in a God, then the materials for that belief
 should be overwhelming and not at all doubtful.

 Yet here is a man whose reason makes it impossible for him to believe in
 a God. He sees no evidence of such an entity. He finds all the arguments
 weak and worthless. He doubts and he denies.

 Then is a God fair in visiting upon such a skeptic the penalty for his
 inevitable intellectual attitude? The intelligent man refuses to believe
 fairy tales. Can a God blame him? If so, then a God is not as fair as an
 ordinarily decent man. And fairness, we think, is more important than piety."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"Faith," said St. Paul, "is the evidence of things not seen." We should
 elaborate this definition by adding that faith is the assertion of things for
 which there is not a particle of evidence and of things which are incredible."
           [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Meaning Of Atheism"]
%
"The church has contributed nothing to civilization. It has progressed
 somewhat, and it has become a little more decent, in reflection of the
 movements of civilization that have taken place outside of the church
 and usually in the face of the strong opposition of the church. But the
 church has always resisted the process of civilization. It has struggled
 to the last ditch, by fair means and foul, to preserve as long as it
 could the vestiges of ancient and medieval theology, with all the
 puerile moralities and harsh customs and medieval styles of belief."
          [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                                 Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"Why should an atheist pay more taxes so that a church which he
 despises should pay no taxes? That's a fair question. How can the
 apologists for the church exemption answer it?
          [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                                 Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"The churches beg -- and if we don't give them money, why, they
 take it anyway, forcibly, by means of this unjust state tax exemption."
          [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                                 Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"The churches can well afford to pay fair taxation. But
 supposing they couldn't. Would not that be a very significant
 evidence that the churches were not really wanted?"
       [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                              Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"How can a preacher talk with a straight face about political graft?
 He is, himself, profiting by one of the most notorious
 political grafts in this country."
      [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                             Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"Why should the residence of a preacher be untaxed? Useful citizens must pay
 taxes on their homes. Yet the Preacher -- actually and notoriously the least
 useful member of the community -- lives in a tax-free dwelling."
        [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                               Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"Would you tax God?" asks a defender of church tax exemption. Well, if there
 were a God he should be able to pay his own way and support his own business.
 If not, then he should do like other business men and close up shop."
          [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                                 Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"Church tax exemption means that we all drop our money in the collection boxes,
 whether we go to church or not and whether we are interested in the church or
 not. It is systematic and complete robbery, from which none of us escapes."
          [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                                 Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"It is an absurd fiction that the churches are useful. They are
 nothing more than propaganda centers for superstitious faiths and
 doctrines. Church members have a right to believe in and propagate
 their various doctrines. But they should pay every item of the
 cost, of this propaganda, including fair taxation for all church property."
          [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                                 Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"There can be no perfect freedom unless the church and state are separated.
 But the church and state are not separated in America so long as the state
 grants a subsidy to the church in the form of tax exemption."
          [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                                 Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"Is a church too small and too poor to pay taxes? That means
 that not enough people want the church seriously enough to pay for
 its upkeep. Then, why should such a church exist? Why should
 atheists, agnostics and non-churchgoers be forced to maintain such
 a useless, unwanted church by granting it tax exemption?"
          [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                                 Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"Martyrs have been sincere. And so have tyrants. Wise men have
 been sincere. And so have fools."
          [E. Haldeman-Julius, "The Church Is a Burden,
                                 Not a Benefit, In Social Life"]
%
"...it is my measured opinion - after thirty-five years of study - that
 religion is all bad, without a single good feature.  And, of course, that
 means I don't go gunning after "certain religious denominations" but send
 my gas bombs into the whole kit and kaboodle.  It's part of my philosophy
 that the world would be a better place for all of us if we managed to get
 rid of the mental disease called religion."
                      [E. Haldeman-Julius]
%
"The Bible nowhere prohibits war... Although war was raging in the
 world in the time of Christ and His Apostles, still they said not
 a word of its unlawfulness and immorality."
     [Henry Wagner Halleck, "Military Art and Science," 1846]
%
"According to Sumerian traditions, more or less closely echoed by those in
 Akkadian, Hebrew, and Greek (Berossos), the great Flood was preceded by
 eight to ten long-lived kings (variously: generations of men) who ruled in
 five cities, beginning with Eridu on the shores of the great salt-water
 lagoon connecting to the Persian Gulf, and reaching as far north as Sippar
 in what was later called Akkad. The First seven antediluvians are linked
 with seven apkallu's (semidivine sages), beginning with Uanna-Adapa, who
 passed into Greek sources as Oannes and into Genesis as Adam"
     [William W. Hallo and William Kelly Simpson, "The Ancient Near
      East: A History", Harcourt Brace: Orlando, 1998, p. 29]
%
"In the earlies Sumerian version, he appears as Ubar-Tutu, 'friend of the
 god Tutu,' or as Ziusudra, 'life of long days.' Later he is simply (and
 perhaps erroneously) called after his city, Shuruppak. The earliest Akkadian
 sources call him Atar-hasis, 'exceeding wise,' while the later ones,
 incorporated in the canonical Gilgamesh epic, refer to him as Uta-napishtam,
 'he has found (everlasting) life.' In the Bible his name is Noah"
     [William W. Hallo and William Kelly Simpson, "The Ancient Near
      East: A History", Harcourt Brace: Orlando, 1998, p. 32]
%
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:  One is that God loves
 you and you're going to burn in hell.  The other is that sex is the most
 awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
                      [Butch Hancock]
%
"Heretics have been hated from the beginning of recorded time; they
 have been ostracized, exiled, tortured, maimed and butchered; but it
 has generally proved impossible to smother them; and when it has not,
 the society that has succeeded has always declined."
                [Learned Hand, Address]
%
"We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients.  But we can't scoff
 at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me."
               [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"]
%
"If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope
 He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting."
        [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"]
%
"My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we
 get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I
 guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to
 Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him."
             [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"]
%
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
 him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another
 cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'"
               [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"]
%
"When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo!
 We're rich! But it turned out to be something different."
           [Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"]
%
"But only fools like me you see,
 Can make a god, who makes a tree."
    [E. Y. Harburg, parody
     of Joyce Kilmer's poem]
%
"The god who is reputed to have created fleas to keep dogs from moping over
 their situation must also have created fundamentalists to keep rationalists
 from getting flabby.  Let us be duly thankful for out blessings."
     [Garrett Hardin, in "Science and Creationism, ed. Ashley Montague]
%
"That which is unchallenged and exercised as habit
 rapidly becomes ritual. When this occurs, dissent
 becomes an object of surprise, if not resentment."
             [B. Carmon Hardy]
%
"I have been looking for god for fifty years and I think
 if he had existed I should have discovered him."
                [Thomas Hardy]
%
"`Peace upon earth!` was said. We sing it,
  And pay a million priests to bring it.
  After two thousand years of mass
  We`ve got as far as poison gas,"
          [Thomas Hardy,
           'Christmas:1924']
%
"We enter church, and we have to say, 'We have erred and strayed from Thy
 ways like lost sheep," when what we want to say is, "Why are we made to
 err and stray like lost sheep?' Then we have to sing, 'My soul doth magnify
 the Lord,' when what we want to sing is 'O that my soul could find some
 Lord that it could magnify!'"
    [Thomas Hardy (1840-1928), English novelist, poet. Note, Jan. 1907]
%
"The Puritan through Life's sweet garden goes
 To pluck the thorn and cast away the rose."
          [Kenneth Hare]
%
"Nothing could be more anti-Biblical than letting women vote."
      [Editorial, Harper's Magazine, November 1853]
%
"Religion; humanity's greatest folly, greatest curse."
                [Kevin Harris]
%
"...Jesus was not as peaceful as commonly believed, and that his actual
 teachings did not represent a fundamental break with the tradition of
 Jewish military messianism.  A strong pro-zealot-bandit and anti-Roman
 bias probably pervaded his original ministry.  The decisive break with the
 Jewish messianic tradition probably came about only after the fall of
 Jerusalem, when the original politico-military components in Jesus'
 teachings were purged by Jewish Christians living in Rome and other
 cities of the empire as an adaptive response to the Roman victory."
   [Marvin Harris, anthropologist, _Cows, Pigs, Wars and Witches_]
%
"Jesus is just a word I use to swear with"
           [Richard Harris]
%
"Perhaps the most important advance in the behavioral sciences in our times
 has been the growing recognition that the perceiver is not just a passive
 camera taking a picture, but takes an active part in perception. He sees
 what experience has conditioned him to see. What perceiver then sees what
 is really there?  Nobody of course. Each of perceives what our past has
 prepared us to perceive. We select and distinguish, we focus on some objects
 and relationships and we blur others. We distort objective reality to make
 it conform to our needs our, or hopes, or fears, or hates, or envies or
 affections. Our eyes and brains do not merely register some objective
 portrait of other persons or groups but our very active scene is warped by
 what we have been taught to believe, by what we want to believe and by what
 we need to believe. It is impossible to reason a man out of something he
 has not been reasoned into. When people have acquired their beliefs on an
 emotional level they cannot be persuaded out of them on a rational level.
 No matter how strong the proof or the logic behind it, people will hold onto
 their emotional beliefs and twist the facts to meet their version of reality."
                        [Sidney J. Harris]
%
"The fact is the Mormon people do not govern themselves.  Always the
 Mormon leaders have claimed the prerogative to think for, and direct the
 Mormon people in all things.  As late as June 1945, the General
 Authorities' Ward Teachers' Message, as carried by the 'Deseret News' of
 May 26, 1945, and the 'Improvement Era' of June 1945, page 354, stated:

   "'When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done.  When they
     propose a plan-it is God's plan.  When they point the way, there
     is no other that is safe.  When they give direction, it should
     mark the end of controversy.  God works in no other way.'"
           [G. T. Harrison, "Mormons are a Peculiar
            People", Vantage Press, 1954, (pp. ix)]
%
"The barbaric religions of primitive worlds hold not a germ of scientific
 fact, though they claim to explain all.  Yet if one of these savages has
 all the logical ground for his beliefs taken away, he doesn't stop
 believing.  He then calls his mistaken beliefs 'faith' because he knows
 they are right.  And he knows they are right because he has faith."
          [Harry Harrison, Jason dinAlt character,
           Deathworld, Berkeley Medallion Edition, 1976]
%
    Only the Priests 'Date' Young
      (to the tune of "Only the Good
       Die Young" by Billy Joel)

Come out Father
Don't make us wait
You Catholic Priests want boys to date
But sooner or later you'll be charged by the State
For things that you may have done.

Well they told you that its a sin to be gay
They told you to kneel but only to pray
But they never told you the price that you pay
For sexual repression
Only the Priests date young.

You got a nice black dress and a party on your ordination
All the wafers you can eat
And free treatment at the Paraclete *
But they don't even permit you to engage in masturbation
Soon the alter boys
They start to look like toys
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

You told the parents all you'd give 'em was an education
You told 'em you'd take care of 'em
But did you even use a condom?
No, No, No, No


     (* Brothers of the Paraclete is a treatment
        center in Arizona for pedophilic priests)

   [Harry the Heretic]
%

Jesus Hates the Little Children


Jesus hates the little children
All the little children of the poor.
Skin and bone, covered with flies
Jesus cheers as each one dies
Jesus hates the children of the poor.

Jesus starves the little children
All the hungry children of the world.
If he really was pure good
He'd make sure they had some food
Jesus starves the children of the world.

Jesus hates the little children
All the little children of Bhagdad.
Even though they're not to blame
They are dying just the same
Jesus hates the children of Bhagdad.

Jesus hates the little children
All the little children born with AIDS.
Even while he's giving breath
He's condemning them to death
Jesus hates the children born with AIDS.

Jesus hates the little children
All the little children raped buy priests.
Sunday schoolers, alter boys
Jesus rewards priests with toys
Jesus hates the children raped by priests.

Jesus hates the little children
That's why he wants more to abuse
He's opposed to birth control
No abortion is his goal
Jesus wants more children to abuse.

Jesus hates the little children
All the little children of the poor
They've got hunger and disease
In the winter they can freeze
Jesus hates the children of the poor

   [Harry the Heretic]
%

    A Christmas Ditty

I.... saw Jesus kissing Santa Claus
Underneath a Unicorn last night.
He is the Son of God
Or else he is a fraud
But I thought it very funny
When he fucked the Easter Bunny

I.... saw Jesus kissing Santa Claus
While Leprechauns and Jackalopes did fight
I thank the Tooth Fairy
That Jehovah didn't see
Jesus kissing Santa Claus

   [Harry the Heretic]
%
"America's problem isn't that we suffer from a
 lack of faith, but from a saturation of it."
            [James L. Hartley]
%
"The problem is that Americans don't recognized there are other moral forces
 outside the world of immaterial gods.  Morality can be derived from reason
 and rational thought.  It can be based on our relationship to each other,
 instead of our relationship to a god no one can see.  Religion isn't morality.
 A lack of faith isn't immorality.  When Americans can recognize that, when
 we recognize our human power to solve our human problems instead of counting
 on a god to fix it, maybe we will gain a better understanding of just what
 it means to be moral."
                        [James L. Hartley]
%
"It was, after all, Christianity itself which tutored the Western mind to
 believe that it should know the truth and the truth would make it free.
 But now that the student has learned to prize the truth, he has discovered,
 with pain both to himself and his teacher, that it can only be gained at
 the cost of rejecting the one who first instilled in him the love of it."
                        [Van A. Harvey]
%
"Mark's declaration that Jesus came from the dispersion (nazareth), meaning
 the worldwide community of Jews outside Judaea (equivalent to diaspora),
 was misinterpreted by Matthew and Luke to mean that he came from a city
 called Nazareth [to fulfill prophesy]. In fact the term nazarite, or
 nazoraios, had nothing to do with any city of Nazareth, since no such place
 existed until the fifth century CE when one was built by a Christian Emperor
 to whom the nonexistence of Jesus' alleged hometown was an embarrassment.
 (Although the site of Nazareth was occupied in the first century, there is
 no evidence of any village named Nazareth earlier than the fifth century....)"
            [William Harwood, _Mythology's Last Gods:
             Yahweh and Jesus_ (Prometheus), p. 260]
%
"Businesses may come and go, but religion will last forever, for in no
 other endeavor does the consumer blame himself for product failure."
         [Harvard Lamphoon, "Doon" (paraphrase)]
%
"I understand prayer quite well. It's a masturbatory exercise that
 gives catharsis to the pray-er and a placebo effect to the pray-ee,
 but only if the pray-ee knows he's being prayed for."
                     [John Hattan]
%
"From a religious view, putting the (Ten Commandments) in a courtroom is
 idolatry.  It constructs a god, not the God of Israel or Jesus Christ, but
 a god that is useful to us, because it gives us the illusion that we
 really do have this deep agreement, when we don't."
   [Stanley Hauerwas, Gilbert T. Rowe professor of theological ethics at
    Duke Divinity School, in ABC news article "Display This!" 4-30-98]
%
"In another area of human rights, many Christian clergymen advocated
 slavery. Historian Larry Hise notes in his book 'Pro-Slavery' that
 ministers 'wrote almost half of all defenses of slavery published
 in America.' He lists 275 men of the cloth who used the Bible to prove
 that white people were entitled to own black people as work animals."
             [James A. Haught, 'Holy Horrors', 1990]
%
"Obviously, religion has a Jekyll-and-Hyde nature-- with Dr.
 Jekyll always in the spotlight, and Mr. Hyde little noticed."
        [James A. Haught, "Horrors of History"]
%
"In the year 415, the woman scientist Hypatia, head of the legendary
 Alexandria library, was beaten to death by Christian monks who considered
 her a pagan. The leader of the monks, Cyril, was canonized a saint."
         [James A. Haught, Free Inquiry (Winter 1996/1997)]
%
"The stronger the supernatural beliefs, the worse the inhumanity"
                  [James A. Haught]
%
"In 1583 at Vienna, a 16 year old girl suffered stomach cramps. A team of
 Jesuits exorcised her for eight weeks. The announced that they had expelled
 12,652 demons from her, demons her grandmother had kept as flies in glass
 jars. The grandmother was tortured into confessing she was a witch who had
 engaged in sex with Satan. Then she was burned at the stake. This was one
 of perhaps 1 million such executions during three centuries of witch-hunts."
                [James A. Haught, "Holy Horrors," 1990]
%
"A profound irony of the witch-hunts is that they were directed, not by
 superstitious savages, but by learned bishops, judges, professors, and
 other leaders of society. The centuries of witch obsession demonstrated
 the terrible power of supernatural beliefs."
               [James A. Haught, "Holy Horrors," 1990]
%
"God not only plays dice.  He sometimes
 throws the dice where they cannot be seen."
         [Stephen Hawking]
%
"What I have done is to show that it is possible for the way the universe
 began to be determined by the laws of science.  In that case, it would
 not be necessary to appeal to God to decide how the universe began.
 This doesn't prove that there is no God, only that God is not necessary."
           [Stephen W. Hawking, Der Spiegel, 1989]
%
"The intelligent beings in these regions should therefore not be surprised
 if they observe that their locality in the universe satisfies the conditions
 that are necessary for their existence. It is a bit like a rich person
 living in a wealthy neighborhood not seeing any poverty."
                          [Stephen Hawking]
%
"One does not have to appeal to God to set the initial conditions
 for the creation of the universe, but if one does He would have
 to act through the laws of physics."
        [Stephen Hawking, "Black Holes & Baby Universes"]
%
"So long as the universe had a beginning, we could suppose it had a
 creator. But if the universe is completely self-contained, having
 no boundary or edge, it would neither be created nor destroyed...
 it would simply be. What place, then, for a creator?"
                     [Stephen Hawking]
%
"My parents, though they had never formally left the ancestral Roman
 Catholic church, held no religious beliefs.  Though they were no longer
 fiercely anti-religious (as I suspect my paternal grandfather was, along
 with so many of the scientists of his generation), all positive dogma was
 for them a superstition of the past.  They never took me to church.  And
 though as part of my general education I was, soon after I had begun to
 read for pleasure, given a child's Bible, it disappeared mysteriously when
 I got too interested in it....

 By the age of fifteen, I had convinced myself that nobody could give a
 reasonable explanation of what he meant by the word 'God' and that it was
 therefore as meaningless to assert a belief as to assert a disbelief in God.

 Though this, in a general way, has remained my position ever since, I
 have always avoided unnecessarily to offend other people holding religious
 belief by displaying my lack of such belief, or even stating my lack of
 belief, if I was not challenged."
 [From _Hayek on Hayek: An Autobiographical Dialogue_, edited by Stephen
  Kresge and Leif Wenar (University of Chicago Press, 1994), pp. 40-41. F. A.
  Hayek is considered the foremost defender of capitalism in the 20th century]
%
"That which the heathen had respected the Catholic outraged.  The great
 Cardinal Ximenez restored the primitive rite and devoted this charming
 chapel to its service.  How ill a return was made for Moorish tolerance
 we see in the infernal treatment they afterwards received from king and
 Church.  They made them choose between conversion and death. They embraced
 Christianity to save their lives.  Then the priests said, "Perhaps this
 conversion is not genuine!  Let us send the heathen away out of our sight."
 One million of the best citizens of Spain were thus torn from their homes
 and landed starving on the wild African coast.  And Te Deums were sung
 in the churches for this triumph of Catholic unity.  From that hour Spain
 has never prospered."
               [Castilian Days, The City of
                the Visigoths, John Hay, 1903]
%
"If judged only by the results that challenge the laws
 of probabilities, then the power of prayer is nil."
     [Judith Hayes, U.S. freethinker, author]
%
"If we are going to teach 'creation science' as an alternative
 to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as
 an alternative to biological reproduction."
                    [Judith Hayes]
%
"Life can be beautiful, profound, and awe-inspiring, even
 without an irate god threatening us with eternal torment."
                  [Judith Hayes]
%
"The biblical account of Noah's Ark and the Flood is perhaps
 the most implausible story for fundamentalists to defend.
 Where, for example, while loading his ark, did Noah find
 penguins and polar bears in Palestine?"
                    [Judith Hayes]
%
"Religion is a result of primal urges, and I hope that it, like
 murder and septic personal hygiene, becomes unfashionable."
                    [Brian Hayward]
%
"There is no sin. It is an invention to shame people into believing fantasies.
 We are the only animals known to desire to act differently (often better)
 than we do. This is a glorious quality, and provides optimism that we will
 will eventually improve ourselves.  We should be proud of it, not ashamed."
                         [Brian Hayward]
%
"The cannibals burn their enemies and eat them in good-fellowship with
 one another: meek Christian divines cast those who differ from them
 but a hair's-breadth, body and soul into hell-fire for the glory of
 God and the good of his creatures! It is well that the power of such
 persons is not co-ordinate with their wills..."
        [William Hazlitt, "On the Pleasure of Hating"]
%
"The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe
 in it.  Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe
 in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't."
            [HBT, "The Gospel According to Fred" 3:1]
%
"I haven't heard anyone saying that she's blackmailing anyone.  I think she
 just wants to see if our freedom of religious expression is really protected
 or is the court supposed to cater to the whims of the masses who want to
 shop and open stores on Sunday or any other religious holiday."
                      [Tammy Rae Healy]
%
"Religion is the highest vanity."
     [Friedrich Hebbel]
%
"Immorality, perversion, infidelity, cannibalism, etc., are
 unassailable by church and civic league if you dress them
 up in the togas and talliths of the Good Book."
  [Ben Hecht (1893-1964), U.S. journalist, author, screenwriter. "A
   Child of the Century," bk. 5, "Sex in Hollywood" (1954), commenting
   on biblical epics solving "the fornication problem" in Hollywood]
%
"God is, as it were, the sewer into which all contradictions flow"
      [G. W. F. Hegel, Lectures on the History of Philosophy]
%
"A disturbing fact continues to surface in sex abuse research.  The first
 best predictor of abuse is alcohol or drug addiction in the father.  But
 the second best predictor is conservative religiosity, accompanied by
 parental belief in traditional male-female roles.  This means that if you
 want to know which children are most likely to be sexually abused by their
 father, the second most significant clue is *whether or not the parents
 belong to a conservative religious group with traditional role beliefs
 and rigid sexual attitudes*. (Brown and Bohn, 1989; Finkelhor, 1986; Fortune,
 1983; Goldstein et al, 1973; Van Leeuwen, 1990). (emphasis in original)
     ["Sexual Abuse in Christian Homes and Churches", by Carolyn
      Holderread Heggen, Herald Press, Scotdale, PA, 1993 p. 73]
%
"As Pastor X slips out of bed
 He puts a neat disguise on
 That halo round his priestly head
 Is merely his horizon."
      [Piet Hein, 1966]
%
"What Christian love cannot do is effected by a common hatred."
                [Heinrich Heine]
%
"Christ rode on an ass, but now asses ride on Christ."
                  [Heine]
%
"In dark ages people are best guided by religion, as in
 pitch-black night a blind man is the best guide; he knows the
 roads and paths better than a man who can see.  When daylight
 comes, however, it is foolish to use blind, old men as guides."
   [Heinrich Heine, Gedanken und Einfalle, Volume 10]
%
"Let's leave heaven to the angels and the sparrows."
              [Heinrich Heine]
%
"The most ridiculous concept ever perpetrated by H.Sapiens is that the
 Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of the Universes, wants the sacharrine
 adoration of his creations, that he can be persuaded by their prayers, and
 becomes petulant if he does not recieve this flattery. Yet this ridiculous
 notion, without one real shred of evidence to bolster it, has gone on to
 found one of the oldest, largest and least productive industries in history."
      [Lazarus Long, from "Time Enough For Love" by R. Heinlein]
%
"A religion is sometime a source of happiness, and I would not deprive anyone
 of happiness.  But it is a comfort appropriate for the weak, not for the
 strong.  The great trouble with religion - any religion - is that a
 religionist, having accepted certain propositions by faith, cannot thereafter
 judge those propositions by evidence.  One may bask at the warm fire of faith
 or choose to live in the bleak certainty of reason- but one cannot have both."
                [Robert A. Heinlein, from "Friday"]
%
"History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational
 basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the
 unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and
 spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from
 fiddling with it."
          [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long"]
%
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."
  [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long"]
%
"Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves.
 Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child."
       [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long", quoted in
        Peter McWilliams, Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do, p. 375]
%
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent - it says so right here
 on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these
 attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks,
 please. Cash and in small bills."
          [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long"]
%
"Of all the strange "crimes" that humanity has legislated out of nothing,
 "blasphemy" is the most amazing - with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure"
 fighting it out for second and third place."
         [Robert Heinlein, "Notebooks of Lazarus Long"]
%
"Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily.
 All other "sins" are invented nonsense.
 (Hurting yourself is not sinful--just stupid.)
          [Robert A. Heinlein]
%
"If you pray hard enough, you can make water run uphill. How
 hard?  Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!"
        [Robert A. Heinlein, "Expanded Universe"]
%
"Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark
 cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there."
  [Robert A. Heinlein, "JOB: A Comedy of Justice"]
%
"Anyone who can worship a trinity and insist that his religion is a
 monotheism can believe anything... just give him time to rationalize it."
      [Robert A. Heinlein, "JOB: A Comedy of Justice"]
%
"There is an old, old story about a theologian who was asked to reconcile
 the Doctrine of Divine Mercy with the doctrine of infant damnation. 'The
 Almighty,' he explained, 'finds it necessary to do things in His official
 and public capacity which in His private and personal capacity He deplores."
               [Robert A. Heinlein (1907 - 1988)
                _Methuselah's Children_ ASF  c.1941]
%
"God split himself into a myriad parts that he might have friends."
 This may not be true, but it sounds good, and is no sillier than
 any other theology."
    [Lazarus Long, _Time Enough for Love_ by Robert Heinlein]
%
"Whores perform the same function
 as priests, but far more thoroughly"
       [Robert Heinlein]
%
"The profession of shaman has many advantages. It offers high status
 with a safe livelihood free of work in the dreary, sweaty sense.  In
 most societies it offers legal privileges and immunities not granted
 to other men.  But it is hard to see how a man who has been given a
 mandate from on High to spread tidings of joy to all mankind can be
 seriously interested in taking up a collection to pay his salary; it
 causes one to suspect that the shaman is on the moral level of any
 other con man. But it is a lovely work if you can stomach it."
     [Lazarus Long, _Time enough for Love_, by Robert Heinlein]
%
"(Religous) Faith strikes me as intellectual laziness."
       [Jubal Hershaw, from _Stranger in a
        Strange Land_, by Robert Heinlein]
%
"When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to
 its subjects, 'This you may not read, this you may not see, this you are
 forbidden to know,' the end result is tyranny and oppression, no matter how
 holy the motives.  Mighty little force is needed to control a man whose
 mind has been hoodwinked; contrariwise, no amount of force can control a
 free man, a man whose mind is free.  No, not the rack, not fission bombs,
 not anything--you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."
                        [Robert Heinlein]
%
"The nice thing about citing god as an authority is
 that you can prove anything you set out to prove."
   [Robert A. Heinlein, from  "If This Goes On-"]
%
"Don't appeal to mercy to God the Father up in the sky, little man, because
 he's not at home and never was at home, and couldn't care less. What you do
 with yourself, whether you are happy or unhappy-- live or die-- is strictly
 your business and the universe doesn't care. In fact you may be the universe
 and the only cause of all your troubles. But, at best, the most you can hope
 for is comradeship with comrades no more divine (or just as divine) as you
 are. So quit sniveling and face up to it-- 'Thou art God!'"
                 [Robert A. Heinlein Oct. 21, 1960]
%
"I've never understood how God could expect His creatures to pick the one
 true religion by faith - it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe."
     [Robert Heinlein, Jubal Harshaw in "Stranger in a Strange Land"]
%
"The Ten Commandments are for lame brains.
 The first five are solely for the benefit of the
 priests and the powers that be; the second five
 are half truths, neither complete nor adequate."
      [Robert Heinlein, Ira Johnson in
       "To Sail Beyond the Sunset"]
%
"The Bible is such a gargantuan collection of conflicting
 values that anyone can "prove" anything from it."
        [Robert Heinlein, Dr. Jacob Burroughs
         in "The Number of the Beast"]
%
"The hell I won't talk that way! Peter, an eternity here without her is not
 an eternity of bliss; it is an eternity of boredom and loneliness and grief.
 You think this damned gaudy halo means anything to me when I know--yes,
 you've convinced me!--that my beloved is burning in the Pit? I didn't ask
 much. Just to be allowed to live with her. I was willing to wash dishes
 forever if only I could see her smile, hear her voice, touch her hand! She's
 been shipped on a technicality and you know it! Snobbish, bad-tempered angels
 get to live here without ever doing one lick to deserve it. But my Marga,
 who is a real angel if one ever lived, gets turned down and sent to Hell to
 everlasting torture on a childish twist in the rules. You can tell the Father
 and His sweet-talking Son and that sneaky Ghost that they can take their
 gaudy Holy City and shove it!  If Margrethe has to be in Hell, that's where
 I want to be!"
             [Robert Heinlein, Alexander Hergensheimer
              in "Job: A Comedy of Justice"]
%
"It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate
 its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and
 will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to
 seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up,
 or driving underground all heretics."
      [Robert A. Heinlein, "Postscript to Revolt in 2100"]
%
"He should have known better because, early in his learnings under his brother
 Mahmoud, he had discovered that long human words (the longer the better) were
 easy, unmistakable, and rarely changed their meanings, but short words were
 slippery, unpredictable changing their meanings without any pattern. Or so he
 seemed to grok. Short human words were never like a short Martian word -- such
 as "grok" which forever meant exactly the same thing. Short human words were
 like trying to lift water with a knife. And this had been a very short word."
          [Robert Heinlein, Valentine Michael Smith's musings
           on the word "God" in Stranger in a Strange Land]
%
"But I contend that the disgusting behavior of many of their alleged
 'holy men' relieves us of any intellectual obligation to take the
 stuff seriously.  No amount of sanctimonious rationalization can
 make such behavior anything but pathological."
               [Robert Heinlein, "Tramp Royale"]
%
"The faith in which I was brought up assured me that I was better than other
 people; I was saved, they were damned ...Our hymns were loaded with arrogance
 -- self-congratulation on how cozy we were with the Almighty and what a high
 opinion he had of us, what hell everybody else would catch come Judgment Day."
   [Robert A. Heinlein, from Laurence J. Peter, Peter's Quotations: Ideas
    for Our Time, also James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief]
%
"...little children who have begun to live in their mothers' womb
 and have there died, or who, having just been born, have passed
 away from the world without the sacrament of holy baptism...
 must be punished by the eternal torture of undying fire."
        [quoted in  _Hell, A Christian Doctrine_]
%
"What the hell are you getting so upset about?  I thought that you
 didn't believe in God?"

"I don't," she sobbed, bursting into tears, "but the God I don't
 believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God.  He's not the
 mean and stupid God you make him out to be."
                   [Joseph Heller]
%
"Don't tell me God works in mysterious ways. There's nothing so mysterious
 about it. He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all
 about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about- a country bumpkin, a
 clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much
 reverance can you have for a Supreme being who finds it necessary to include
 such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation?
 What in the world was going through that warped, evil, scatalogical mind of
 His when He robbed old people of the ability to control their bowel
 movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain....

 Who created the dangers? Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He
 gave us pain! Why couldn't He have used a doorbell instead to notify us, or
 one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of red and blue neon tubes right in
 the middle of each person's forehead?....

 They certainly look beautiful now, writhing in agony or stupified with
 morphine, don't they? What a colossal, immortal blunderer! When you consider
 the opportunity and power He had to really do a job and then look at the
 stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is
 almost staggering. It's obvious He never met a payroll. Why,no self-respecting
 businessman would hire a bungler like Him as even a shipping clerk!"
              [Yossarian to Lt. Scheisskopf's wife,
               _Catch-22_, 1961, by Joseph Heller]
%
"One sees what one wants to see when there
 is in mind a pre-conceived notion."
   [Hal Hellman, "Great Feuds in Science," p. 74]
%
"A man who believes that he eats his God we do not call mad;
 yet, a many who says he is Jesus Christ, we call mad."
          [Claude A. Helvetius (1715-1771)]
%
"It never ceases to amaze me at how many
 religions depend upon circumsized penises."
            [Dawn Henderson]
%
"Being unable to reason is not a positive character trait outside religion."
                           [Dewey Henize]
%
"..it is claimed that women owe their advancement to the Bible.
 It would be quite true to say that they owe their impoverished
 condition to the almanac or to the vernal equinox.  Under Bible
 influence woman has been burned as a witch, sold in the shambles,
 reduced to a drudge and a pauper, and silenced and subjected
 before her ecclesiastical and marital law-givers."
                [Josephine K. Henry]
%
"Paris vaut une messe. [Paris is worth a mass]"
  [Henry of Navare, who gained control of
   Paris just by converting to Catholicism
   and renouncing his Protestant affiliations]
%
"A blow to the head will confuse a man's thinking, a blow to the foot
 has no such effect, this cannot be the result of an immaterial soul."
                  [Heraclitus, 500 BC]
%
"The universal cosmic process was not created by any god or man;
 it forever was, is, and forever will be, an Everliving Fire."
            [Heraclitus of Ephesus, 500 BC]
%
"When politics and religion are intermingled, a people is
 suffused with a sense of invulnerability, and gathering speed
 in their forward charge, they fail to see the cliff ahead of them."
               [Frank Herbert, _Dune_]
%
"Behind every religion lurks a Torquemada."
  [Frank Herbert, _God Emperor of Dune_]
%
"It was man, mortal bloody man, who created the myths...
 Religion is nothing but wish-fulfilling stories for the masses."
             [James Herbert, "Shrine"]
%
"Organized Religion is like Organized Crime; it preys on peoples'
 weakness, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost
 impossible to eradicate."
            [Mike Hermann (hermann@cs.ubc.ca)]
%
"Just as power is the god of the modern liberal, God
 remains the authority of the modern conservative."
  [Karl Hess, The Death of Politics, Playboy, March 1969]
%
"My father was really a bigot. He was very strict and fanatical. I learned
 that my father took a religious oath at the time of the birth of my younger
 sister, dedicating me to God and the priesthood, and after that leading
 a Joseph married life [celibacy]. He directed my entire youthful education
 toward the goal of making me a priest. I had to pray and go to church
 endlessly, do penance over the slightest misdeed-- praying as punishment
 for any little unkindness to my sister, or something like that."
     [Rudolf Hess, to psychologist G. M. Gilbert, in his Nuremberg
      cell, from Louis L. Snyder, "Hitler's Elite, Shocking Profiles
      of the Reich's Most Notorious Henchmen", Berkley Books, 1990]
%
"I say religion is a mental illness, with
 all due respect to the truly sick."
          ["Hewes", on IRC]
%
"I haven't rejected god, I've never met him."
        [Trevor Hick on alt.atheism]
%
"Hey, doncha think the REAL reason JC hasn't returned is those crosses you
 wear?  Think.  How would JFK feel if you wore little rifles on your lapels?"
                    [Bill Hicks, comedian]
%
"Great, now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to."
                 [Bill Hicks, comedian]
%
THE PREACHER AND THE SLAVE
   by Joe Hill, to the tune
   of "In The Sweet By And By"

 Long-haired preachers come out every night
 Try and tell you what's wrong and what's right
 But when asked about something to eat
 They will answer in voices so sweet:

 CHORUS:
      You will eat, by and by,
      In the glorious land above the sky (way up high)
      Work and pray, live on hay,
      You'll get pie in the sky when you die (that's a lie!)

 Oh the Starvation Army they play
 And they sing and they clap and they pray
 Till they get all your coin on the drum
 Then they tell you when you're on the bum:

 CHORUS

 Holy Rollers and jumpers come out
 And they roll and they jump and they shout
 Give your money to Jesus, they say
 He will cure all diseases today

 CHORUS

 If you fight hard for children and wife
 Try to get something good in this life
 You're a sinner and bad man, they tell
 When you die you will sure go to Hell

 CHORUS

 Working folks of all countries, unite!
 Side by side we for freedom will fight!
 When this world and its wealth we have gained,
 To the grafters we'll sing this refrain:

 LAST CHORUS:
      You will eat, by and by,
      When you've learned how to cook and to fry (and to fry!)
      Chop some wood, it'll do you good,
      And you'll eat in the sweet by and by (that's no lie!)
%
"We should do unto others as we would want them to do unto us.  If I were
 an unborn fetus I would want others to use force to protect me, therefore
 using force against abortionists is *justifiable homocide*."
           ["Pro-Life" doctor killer Paul Hill]
%
"Death opens her cavernous mouth before you.  Thousands upon thousands of
 children are consumed by her every day.  You have the ability to save some
 from being tossed into her gaping mouth.  As hundreds are being rushed into
 eternity, other questions shrink in comparison to the weighty question,
 'Should we defend born and unborn children with force?'
 "_Take defensive action!_"
             [Rev. Paul J. Hill, abortion doctor murderer]
%
"Are there any heinous sins being committed today that could again fan the
 flames of God's righteous anger to the scorching point?  Is there any
 need in today's world for men of the stamp of Phinehas?  Could the bold
 daring of Cozbi and Zimri in parading before Moses as he wept over sin
 have any modern parallels?  The righteous zeal of Phinehas did not permit
 him to stay his hand long enough to even ask Moses or the church leaders
 of the wisdom of his action.  If any similar zeal be found among
 us today, occasion to exercise it will not be lacking."
    [Paul J. Hill, _Should We Defend Born And Unborn Children With
     Force?_, 1993, Defensive Action, Pensacola, FL, p. 4]
%
"There is no question that deadly force should
 be used to protect innocent life."
  [Paul Hill, leader of Defensive Action]
%
"When you don't give money, it shows that you have the devil's nature."
      [Benny Hinn, Praise-a-thon (TBN), recorded 4/21/91]
%
"I swear before God this holy oath, that I shall give absolute
 confidence to the Fuehrer of the German Reich and people."
                [Heinrich Himmler]
%
"You Einsatztruppen (task forces) are called upon to fulfill a repulsive duty.
 But you are soldiers who have to carry out every order unconditionally. You
 have a responsibility before God and Hitler for everything that is happening.
 I myself hate this bloody business and I have been moved to the depths of my
 soul. But I am obeying the highest law by doing my duty. Man must defend
 himself against bedbugs and rats-- against vermin."
     [Heinrich Himmler, in a speech to the SS guards, from
      Louis L. Snyder, "Hitler's Elite, Shocking Profiles of
      the Reich's Most Notorious Henchmen", Berkley Books, 1990]
%
"Saints fly only in the eyes of their disciples."
              [Hindu proverb]
%
"Men think epilepsy divine, merely because they do not understand
 it.  But if they called everything divine which they do not
 understand, why, there would be no end of divine things."
                   [Hippocrates]
%
"Men ought to know that from nothing else but the brain
 come joys, delights, laughter and sports, and sorrows,
 griefs, despondency and lamentations."
                [Hippocrates]
%
"Where prayer, amulets and incantations work it
 is only a manifestation of the patient's belief."
              [Hippocrates]
%
   The Peddler

In the zocalo
a one-eyed salesman
offers me a gourd
wrinkled
dried
with the face of God
painted on it
in cochineal & indigo

God is dead,
I tell him.

You are right,
he answers,
but it is only one peso.

I shake the gourd;
the seeds rattle
like thoughts in a dry brain.

O unfortunate country!

   [George Hitchcock]
%
"Among the innumerable reasons to scorn the creationists' "argument from
 design" is that no intelligent, let alone loving, Creator could possibly
 have "designed" the male reproductive system in its current form. We, the
 paragon of animals, the Mister Monster, have always been acutely aware that
 our own boss, this tiny megalomaniacal tyrant, might fail to turn up.
 Erections were less wondrous works of the Almighty and more like cops: often
 there when you emphatically didn't require them and sometimes absent when
 you did. I once knew a woman who recounted a sexual episode with one of the
 totally famous studs of our time. "And how was it?" I inquired diffidently.
 "Oh," she replied with an air, "a bit like trying to get an oyster into a
 parking meter." Or, as Amis puts it elsewhere in "Money," 'They're very
 difficult. They're not at all easy. That's why they're called hard-ons.'"
          [Christopher Hitchens in Salon Magazine, 5/11/98]
%
"I believe today that I am acting in the sense of the Almighty Creator.
 By warding off the Jews I am fighting for the Lord's work."
           [Adolph Hitler, Speech, Reichstag, 1936]
%
"There is a road to freedom.  Its milestones are Obedience, Endeavor,
 Honesty, Order, Cleanliness, Sobriety, Truthfulness, Sacrifice, and
 love of the Fatherland."
            [Message, signed Hitler, painted on walls of
             concentration camps; Life, August 21, 1939]
%
"Woman's world is her husband, her family, her children and her home.
 We do not find it right when she presses into the world of men."
      [Adolph Hitler, quoted in Lucy Komisar, The New Feminism]
%
"I have followed [the Church] in giving our party program the character of
 unalterable finality, like the Creed.  The Church has never allowed the
 Creed to be interfered with.  It is fifteen hundred years since it was
 formulated, but every suggestion for its amendment, every logical criticism,
 or attack on it, has been rejected.  The Church has realized that anything
 and everything can be built up on a document of that sort, no matter how
 contradictory or irreconcilable with it.  The faithful will swallow it whole,
 so long as logical reasoning is never allowed to be brought to bear on it."
   [Adolf Hitler, from Rauschning, _The Voice of Destruction_, pp. 239-40]
%
   "My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as
 a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by
 a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned
 men to fight against them and who, God's truth! was greatest not as a sufferer
 but as a fighter.
    In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage
 which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge
 to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific
 was his fight against the Jewish poison.
    Today, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more
 profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to
 shed his blood upon the Cross.
    As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have
 the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice...
    And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting
 rightly, it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have
 also a duty to my own people. And when I look on my people I see them work
 and work and toil and labor, and at the end of the week they have only
 for their wages wretchedness and misery.
    When I go out in the morning and see these men standing in their queues
 and look into their pinched faces, then I believe I would be no Christian,
 but a very devil, if I felt no pity for them, if I did not, as did our
 Lord two thousand years ago, turn against those by whom today this poor
 people are plundered and exposed."
       [Adolf Hitler, speech on April 12, 1922, published in
        "My New Order", quoted in Freethought Today April 1990]
%
"I believe today that my conduct is in accordance
 with the will of the Almighty Creator."
    [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp. 46]
%
"What we have to fight for...is the freedom and independence
 of the fatherland, so that our people may be enabled to fulfill
 the mission assigned to it by the Creator."
         [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp. 125]
%
"This human world of ours would be inconceivable without
 the practical existence of a religious belief."
    [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp.152]
%
"And the founder of Christianity made no secret indeed of his
 estimation of the Jewish people. When He found it necessary,
 He drove those enemies of the human race out of the Temple of God."
        [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp.174]
%
"Catholics and Protestants are fighting with one another... while the
 enemy of Aryan humanity and all Christendom is laughing up his sleeve."
            [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp.309]
%
"I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so"
    [Adolph Hitler, to Gen. Gerhard Engel, 1941]
%
"Any violence which does not spring from a spiritual
 base, will be wavering and uncertain.  It lacks the
 stability which can only rest in a fanatical outlook."
    [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, p. 171]
%
"I had excellent opportunity to intoxicate myself with the solemn splendor
 of the brilliant church festivals. As was only natural, the abbot seemed
 to me, as the village priest had once seemed to my father, the highest
 and most desirable ideal."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 1]
%
"I was not in agreement with the sharp anti-Semitic tone, but from time
 to time I read arguments which gave me some food for thought.  At all
 events, these occasions slowly made me acquainted with the man and the
 movement, which in those days guided Vienna's destinies: Dr. Karl
 Lueger and the Christian Social Party."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 2]
%
"...the unprecedented rise of the Christian Social Party... was to
 assume the deepest significance for me as a classical object of study."
        [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3]
%
"As long as leadership from above was not lacking, the people fulfilled
 their duty and obligation overwhelmingly. Whether Protestant pastor or
 Catholic priest, both together and particularly at the first flare, there
 really existed in both camps but a single holy German Reich, for whose
 existence and future each man turned to his own heaven."
        [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3]
%
"Political parties has nothing to do with religious problems, as long
 as these are not alien to the nation, undermining the morals and ethics
 of the race; just as religion cannot be amalgamated with the scheming
 of political parties."
        [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3]
%
"For the political leader the religious doctrines and institutions
 of his people must always remain inviolable; or else has no right to be
 in politics, but should become a reformer, if he has what it takes!
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3]
%
"In nearly all the matters in which the Pan-German movement was wanting,
 the attitude of the Christian Social Party was correct and well-planned."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3]
%
"It [Christian Social Party] recognized the value of large-scale
 propaganda and was a virtuoso in influencing the psychological
 instincts of the broad masses of its adherents."
        [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3]
%
"The anti-Semitism of the new movement (Christian Social movement)
 was based on religious ideas instead of racial knowledge."
      [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3]
%
"If Dr. Karl Lueger had lived in Germany, he would have
 been ranked among the great minds of our people."
   [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 3,
    about the leader of the Christian Social movement]
%
"Even today I am not ashamed to say that, overpowered by stormy enthusiasm,
 I fell down on my knees and thanked Heaven from an overflowing heart for
 granting me the good fortune of being permitted to live at this time."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 5]
%
"I had so often sung 'Deutschland u:ber Alles' and shouted 'Heil' at
 the top of my lungs, that it seemed to me almost a belated act of grace
 to be allowed to stand as a witness in the divine court of the eternal
 judge and proclaim the sincerity of this conviction."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 5]
%
"Only in the steady and constant application of force lies the very first
 prerequisite for success. This persistence, however, can always and only
 arise from a definite spiritual conviction.  Any violence which does not
 spring from a firm, spiritual base, will be wavering and uncertain."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 5]
%
"I soon realized that the correct use of propaganda is a true art which has
 remained practically unknown to the bourgeois parties. Only the Christian-
 Social movement, especially in Lueger's time achieved a certain virtuosity
 on this instrument, to which it owed many of its success."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 6]
%
"Once again the songs of the fatherland roared to the heavens
 along the endless marching columns, and for the last time the
 Lord's grace smiled on His ungrateful children."
        [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1,
         Chapter 7, reflecting on World War I]
%
"The more abstractly correct and hence powerful this idea will be, the more
 impossible remains its complete fulfillment as long as it continues to depend
 on human beings... If this were not so, the founders of religion could not be
 counted among the greatest men of this earth... In its workings, even the
 religion of love is only the weak reflection of the will of its exalted
 founder; its significance, however, lies in the direction which it attempted
 to give to a universal human development of culture, ethics, and morality."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 8]
%
"To them belong, not only the truly great statesmen, but all
 other great reformers as well.  Beside Frederick the Great
 stands Martin Luther as well as Richard Wagner."
    [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 8]
%
"The fight against syphilis demands a fight against prostitution, against
 prejudices, old habits, against previous conceptions, general views among
 them not least the false prudery of certain circles. The first prerequisite
 for even the moral right to combat these things is the facilitation of
 earlier marriage for the coming generation. In late marriage alone lies the
 compulsion to retain an institution which, twist and turn as you like,
 is and remains a disgrace to humanity, an institution which is damned
 ill-suited to a being who with his usual modesty likes to regard himself
 as the 'image' of God."
       [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10]
%
"Parallel to the training of the body a struggle against the poisoning
 of the soul must begin. Our whole public life today is like a hothouse
 for sexual ideas and simulations. Just look at the bill of fare served
 up in our movies, vaudeville and theaters, and you will hardly be able
 to deny that this is not the right kind of food, particularly for the
 youth...Theater, art, literature, cinema, press, posters, and window
 displays must be cleansed of all manifestations of our rotting world
 and placed in the service of a moral, political, and cultural idea."
       [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10, echoing
        the Cultural Warfare rhetoric of the Religious Right]
%
"But if out of smugness, or even cowardice, this battle is not fought to its
 end, then take a look at the peoples five hundred years from now.  I think
 you will find but few images of God, unless you want to profane the Almighty."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10]
%
"While both denominations maintain missions in Asia and Africa in order to
 win new followers for their doctrine-- an activity which can boast but very
 modest success compared to the advance of the Mohammedan faith in particular--
 right here in Europe they lose millions and millions of inward adherents who
 either are alien to all religious life or simply go their own ways. The
 consequences, particularly from a moral point of view, are not favorable."
            [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10]
%
"The great masses of people do not consist of philosophers; precisely for
 the masses, faith is often the sole foundation of a moral attitude.  The
 various substitutes have not proved so successful from the standpoint of
 results that they could be regarded as a useful replacement for previous
 religious creeds. But if religious doctrine and faith are really to embrace
 the broad masses, the unconditional authority of the content of this faith
 is the foundation of all efficacy."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 10]
%
"Due to his own original special nature, the Jew cannot possess a religious
 institution, if for no other reason because he lacks idealism in any form,
 and hence belief in a hereafter is absolutely foreign to him. And a religion
 in the Aryan sense cannot be imagined which lacks the conviction of survival
 after death in some form. Indeed, the Talmud is not a book to prepare a man
 for the hereafter, but only for a practical and profitable life in this world."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 11]
%
"The best characterization is provided by the product of this religious
 education, the Jew himself. His life is only of this world, and his spirit
 is inwardly as alien to true Christianity as his nature two thousand years
 previous was to the great founder of the new doctrine. Of course, the latter
 made no secret of his attitude toward the Jewish people, and when necessary
 he even took the whip to drive from the temple of the Lord this adversary
 of all humanity, who then as always saw in religion nothing but an instrument
 for his business existence. In return, Christ was nailed to the cross,
 while our present-day party Christians debase themselves to begging for
 Jewish votes at elections and later try to arrange political swindles with
 atheistic Jewish parties-- and this against their own nation."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 11]
%
"....the personification of the devil as the symbol
 of all evil assumes the living shape of the Jew."
  [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 1, Chapter 11,
   precisely echoing Martin Luther's teachings]
%
"Faith is harder to shake than knowledge, love succumbs less to change
 than respect, hate is more enduring than aversion, and the impetus to
 the mightiest upheavals on this earth has at all times consisted less
 in a scientific knowledge dominating the masses than in a fanaticism
 which inspired them and sometimes in a hysteria which drove them forward."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 1 Chapter 12]
%
"The greatness of every mighty organization embodying an idea
 in this world lies in the religious fanaticism and intolerance
 with which, fanatically convinced of its own right, it
 intolerantly imposes its will against all others."
      [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 1 Chapter 12]
%
"The greatness of Christianity did not lie in attempted negotiations for
 compromise with any similar philosophical opinions in the ancient world, but
 in its inexorable fanaticism in preaching and fighting for its own doctrine."
           [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 1 Chapter 12]
%
"All in all, this whole period of winter 1919-20 was a single struggle
 to strengthen confidence in the victorious might of the young movement
 and raise it to that fanaticism of faith which can move mountains."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 1 Chapter 12]
%
"Thus inwardly armed with confidence in God and the unshakable
 stupidity of the voting citizenry, the politicians can begin
 the fight for the 'remaking' of the Reich as they call it."
       [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 1]
%
"Of course, even the general designation 'religious' includes various
 basic ideas or convictions, for example, the indestructibility of the soul,
 the eternity of its existence, the existence of a higher being, etc. But
 all these ideas, regardless of how convincing they may be for the individual,
 are submitted to the critical examination of this individual and hence
 to a fluctuating affirmation or negation until emotional divination or
 knowledge assumes the binding force of apodictic faith.  This, above all,
 is the fighting factor which makes a breach and opens the way for the
 recognition of basic religious views."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 1]
%
"Anyone who dares to lay hands on the highest image of the Lord
 commits sacrilege against the benevolent creator of this miracle
 and contributes to the expulsion from paradise."
       [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 1]
%
"A folkish state must therefore begin by raising marriage from the level
 of a continuous defilement of the race, and give it the consecration of
 an institution which is called upon to produce images of the Lord and not
 monstrosities halfway between man and ape."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2]
%
"It would be more in keeping with the intention of the noblest man in this
 world if our two Christian churches, instead of annoying Negroes with
 missions which they neither desire nor understand, would kindly, but in
 all seriousness, teach our European humanity that where parents are not
 healthy it is a deed pleasing to God to take pity on a poor little healthy
 orphan child and give him father and mother, than themselves to give birth
 to a sick child who will only bring unhappiness and suffering on himself
 and the rest of the world."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2]
%
"That this is possible may not be denied in a world where hundreds and hundreds
 of thousands of people voluntarily submit to celibacy, obligated and bound by
 nothing except the injunction of the Church.  Should the same renunciation
 not be possible if this injunction is replaced by the admonition finally to
 put an end to the constant and continuous original sin of racial poisoning,
 and to give the Almighty Creator beings such as He Himself created?"
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2]
%
"For the greatest revolutionary changes on this earth would not have been
 thinkable if their motive force, instead of fanatical, yes, hysterical
 passion, had been merely the bourgeois virtues of law and order."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2]
%
"It doesn't dawn on this depraved bourgeois world that this is positively
 a sin against all reason; that it is criminal lunacy to keep on drilling
 a born half-ape until people think they have made a lawyer out of him,
 while millions of members of the highest culture-race must remain in entirely
 unworthy positions; that it is a sin against the will of the Eternal Creator
 if His most gifted beings by the hundreds and hundreds of thousands are
 allowed to degenerate in the present proletarian morass, while Hottentots
 and Zulu Kaffirs are trained for intellectual professions."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2]
%
"It may be that today gold has become the exclusive ruler of life, but
 the time will come when man will again bow down before a higher god."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 2]
%
"Christianity could not content itself with building up its own altar;
 it was absolutely forced to undertake the destruction of the heathen altars.
 Only from this fanatical intolerance could its apodictic faith take form;
 this intolerance is, in fact, its absolute presupposition."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 5]
%
"For how shall we fill people with blind faith in the correctness of a
 doctrine, if we ourselves spread uncertainty and doubt by constant changes
 in its outward structure?  ...Here, too, we can learn by the example of
 the Catholic Church.  Though its doctrinal edifice, and in part quite
 superfluously, comes into collision with exact science and research, it
 is none the less unwilling to sacrifice so much as one little syllable of
 its dogmas... it is only such dogmas which lend to the whole body the
 character of a faith."
         [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 5]
%
"The folkish-minded man, in particular, has the sacred duty, each in
 his own denomination, of making people stop just talking superficially
 of God's will, and actually fulfill God's will, and not let God's word
 be desecrated.  For God's will gave men their form, their essence and
 their abilities.  Anyone who destroys His work is declaring war on the
 Lord's creation, the divine will."
          [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 10]
%
"In the ranks of the movement [National Socialist movement], the most
 devout Protestant could sit beside the most devout Catholic, without
 coming into the slightest conflict with his religious convictions.
 The mighty common struggle which both carried on against the destroyer
 of Aryan humanity had, on the contrary, taught them mutually to respect
 and esteem one another."
           [Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf" Vol. 2 Chapter 10]
%
"For this, to be sure, from the child's primer down to the last newspaper,
 every theater and every movie house, every advertising pillar and every
 billboard, must be pressed into the service of this one great mission,
 until the timorous prayer of our present parlor patriots: 'Lord, make us
 free!' is transformed in the brain of the smallest boy into the burning
 plea: 'Almighty God, bless our arms when the time comes; be just as thou
 hast always been; judge now whether we be deserving of freedom; Lord,
 bless our battle!'
      [Adolf Hitler's prayer, "Mein Kampf", Vol. 2 Chapter 13]
%
"The Government, being resolved to undertake the political and moral
 purification of our public life, are creating and securing the conditions
 necessary for a really profound revival of religious life"
    [Adolph Hitler, in a speech to the Reichstag on March 23, 1933]
%
  "ATHEIST HALL CONVERTED

   Berlin Churches Establish Bureau to Win Back Worshippers

   Wireless to the New York Times.

   BERLIN, May 13. - In Freethinkers Hall, which before the Nazi
resurgence was the national headquarters of the German Freethinkers
League, the Berlin Protestant church authorities have opened a bureau
for advice to the public in church matters.  Its chief object is to win
back former churchgoers and assist those who have not previously
belonged to any religious congregation in obtaining church membership.

   The German Freethinkers League, which was swept away by the national
revolution, was the largest of such organizations in Germany. It had
about 500,000 members ..."
    [New York Times, May 14, 1993, page 2, on Hitler's outlawing of
     atheistic and freethinking groups in Germany in the Spring of
     1933, after the Enabling Act authorizing Hitler to rule by decree]
%
"I go the way that Providence dictates with the assurance of a sleepwalker."
         [Adolf Hitler, Speech, 15 March 1936, Munich, Germany.]
%
"The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
 to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and cooperation. It will
 preserve and defend those basic principles on which our nation has been
 built. It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national
 morality, and the family as the basis of national life...."
            [Adolf Hitler, Berlin, February 1, 1933]
%
"Today Christians ... stand at the head of [this country]... I pledge that I
 never will tie myself to parties who want to destroy Christianity .. We want
 to fill our culture again with the Christian spirit ... We want to burn out
 all the recent immoral developments in literature, in the theater, and in
 the press - in short, we want to burn out the *poison of immorality* which
 has entered into our whole life and culture as a result of *liberal excess*
 during the past ... (few) years."
        [The Speeches of Adolph Hitler, 1922-1939, Vol. 1
         (London, Oxford University Press, 1942), pg. 871-872]
%
"An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God.  Some
 of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them
 as quickly as possible."
           [Russell Hoban, "Pilgermann"]
%
"Commerce unites; religion divides."
     [Alice Tisdale Hobart]
%
"Religions are like pills, which must
 be swallowed whole without chewing"
    [Thomas Hobbes, 1588-1679]
%
"Man is the only animal that contemplates death, and also the
 only animal that shows any sign of doubt of its finality."
             [William Ernest Hocking]
%
"The Good is that which leads to health, The Right is that which leads to
 peace. Purpose is ours to choose, Meaning is the story we choose to join.
 We are all members of Darwin's family, all kin from the beginning of life.
 If you value anything, value other humans, for they are the only help you
 will have in times of trouble. The Godless Universe is vast and wondrous,
 and more than enough.  We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful
 of the night."
                     [John Hodges, 1999]
%
"The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his
 own self, the more ready he is to claim all excellence for
 his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause."
         [Eric Hoffer, philosopher and author,
         _The True Believer_, 1951, section 9]
%
"Crude absurdities, trivial nonsense, and sublime truths
 are equally potent in readying people for self-sacrifice
 if they are accepted as the sole, eternal truth."
   [Eric Hoffer, _The True Believer_, 1951, section 57]
%
"The creed whose legitimacy is most easily challenged is likely to
 develop the strongest proselytizing impulse.  It is doubtful whether
 a movement which does not profess some preposterous and patently
 irrational dogma can be possessed of that zealous drive which "must
 either win men or destroy the world."  It is also plausible that those
 movements with the greatest inner contradiction between profession and
 practice-that is to say with a strong feeling of guilt-are likely to be
 the most fervent in imposing their faith on others."
      [Eric Hoffer, _The True Believer_, 1951, section 88]
%
"Take man's most fantastic invention, God.  Man invents God in the image
 of his longing, in the image of what he wants to be, then proceeds to
 imitate that image, vie with it, and strive to overcome it... [Religion
 is] not a matter of God, church, holy cause. etc. These are but
 accessories. The source of religious preoccupation is in the self, or
 rather the rejection of the self.... Man alone is a religious animal
 because, as Montaigne points out, 'it is a malady confined to man, and
 not seen in any other creature, to hate and despise ourselves...'"
                          [Eric Hoffer]
%
"Christianity is one of several Jewish heresies."
              [Eric Hoffer]
%
"Mass movements can rise and spread without belief
 in a god, but never without belief in a devil."
      [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"(To the true believer) Every difficulty and failure within
 the movement is the work of the devil, and every success is
 a triumph over his evil plotting."
         [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"This enemy--the indispensable devil of every mass movement--is
 omnipresent.  He plots both outside and inside the ranks of the faithful."
              [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"It is the true believer's ability to "shut his eyes and stop his ears"
 to the facts that do not deserve to be either seen or heard which is the
 source of his unequaled fortitude and constancy. He cannot be frightened
 by danger nor disheartened by obstacle nor baffled by contradictions
 because he denies their existence."
          [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer," response to
           Martin Luther's faithful shutting-out of
           contrary evidence, in Table Talk, Number 1687]
%
"Thus blind faith is to a considerable extent a substitute for the lost
 faith in ourselves; insatiable desire a substitute for hope; accumulation
 a substitute for growth; fervent hustling a substitute for purposeful
 action, and pride a substitute for unattainable self-respect."
         [Eric Hoffer, N.Y. Times Magazine, Feb. 15, 1959]
%
"They want freedom from "the fearful burden of free choice," freedom
 from the arduous responsibility of realizing their ineffectual selves
 and shouldering the blame for the blemished product.  They do not want
 freedom of conscience, but faith--blind, authoritarian faith."
             [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"The inability or unwillingness to see things as they
 are promote both gullibility and charlatanism."
       [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"A sublime religion inevitably generates a strong feeling of guilt.
 There is an unavoidable contrast between loftiness of profession and
 imperfection of practice. And, as one would expect, the feeling of
 guilt promotes hate and brazenness. Thus it seems that the more
 sublime the faith the more virulent the hatred it breeds."
            [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"When we lose our individual independence in the corporateness of a mass
 movement, we find a new freedom-freedom to hate, bully, lie, torture,
 murder and betray without shame and remorse. Herein undoubtedly lies
 part of the attractiveness of a mass movement."
                 [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"The devout are always urged to seek the absolute
 truth with their hearts and not their minds."
      [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"The truth is that the surrendering and humbling of the self breed pride and
 arrogance. The true believer is apt to see himself as one of the chosen,
 the salt of the earth, the light of the world, a prince disguised in meekness,
 who is destined to inherit this earth and the kingdom of heaven, too. He who
 is not of his faith is evil; he who will not listen shall perish."
               [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"The missionary zeal seems rather an expression of some deep misgiving,
 some pressing feeling of insufficiency at the center. Proselytizing is
 more a passionate search for something not yet found than a desire to
 bestow upon the world something we already have. It is a search for a
 final and irrefutable demonstration that our absolute truth is indeed
 the one and only truth. The proselytizing fanatic strengthens his own
 faith by converting others."
               [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"Obedience is not only the first law of God, but also the first tenet of
 a revolutionary party and of fervent nationalism. "Not to reason why" is
 considered by all mass movements the mark of a strong and generous spirit."
               [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"By elevating dogma above reason, the individual's
 intelligence is prevented from becoming self-reliant."
        [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"The burning conviction that we have a holy duty toward others is often
 a way of attaching our drowning selves to a passing raft. What looks
 like giving a hand is often a holding on for dear life. Take away our
 holy duties and you leave our lives puny and meaningless. There is no
 doubt that in exchanging a self-centered for a selfless life we gain
 enormously in self-esteem. The vanity of the selfless, even those who
 practice utmost humility, is boundless."
              [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"(For the true believer) To rely on the evidence of the senses and
 of reason is heresy and treason. It is startling to realize how much
 unbelief is necessary to make belief possible. What we know as blind
 faith is sustained by innumerable unbeliefs."
               [Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer"]
%
"Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger."
         [Abbie Hoffman]
%
"Whenever religion is involved, terrorists kill more people."
    [Dr. Bruce Hoffman, director of the Center for
     the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence
     at St. Andrews University, Scotland]
%
"In some sects members are told to commit violent acts
 because the only way they can hasten redemption or
 achieve salvation is to eliminate the nonbelievers."
    [Dr. Bruce Hoffman, director of the Center for
     the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence
     at St. Andrews University, Scotland]
%
"perhaps as many as ninety percent of the Americans were unchurched in 1790"
      [Richard Hofstadter, _Anti-Intellectualism in American
       Life_, New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1974, p. 82]
%
"... mid-eighteenth century America had a smaller proportion of church
 members than any other nation in Christendom...."in 1800 [only] one
 of every fifteen Americans was a church member"
      [Richard Hofstadter, _Anti-Intellectualism in American
       Life_, New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1974, p. 89]
%
"Theology is but the ignorance of natural causes reduced to a system."
               [Baron Paul Henri T. d'Holbach]
%
"When, therefore, he ascribes to his gods the production of some
 phenomenon...does he, in fact, do anything more than substitute for
 the darkness of his own mind, a sound to which he has been
 accustomed to listen with reverential awe?
   [Baron d'Holbach (1723-1789) "Systeme de la Nature" (1770)]
%
"Nature tells man to consult reason, and to take it for his guide:
 religion teaches him that his reason is corrupted, that it is only
 a treacherous guide, given by a deceitful God to lead his creatures
 astray.  Nature tells man to enlighten himself, to search after
 truth, to instruct himself in his duties: religion enjoins him
 to examine nothing, to remain in ignorance, to fear truth."
    [Paul Henry Thiry d'Holbach, "Systeme de la Nature" (1770)]
%
"People have suffered and become insane for centuries by the thought of eternal
 punishment after death. Wouldn't it be better to depend on blind matter (...)
 than by a god who puts out traps for people, invites them to sin, and allows
 them to sin and commit crimes he could prevent.  Only to finally get the
 barbarian pleasure to punish them in an excessive way, of no use for himself,
 without them changing their ways and without their example preventing others
 from committing crimes."
            [Baron d'Holbach, "Systeme de la Nature" (1770)]
%
"If we go back to the beginnings of things, we shall always find that ignorance
 and fear created the gods; that imagination, rapture and deception embellished
 them; that weakness worships them; that custom spares them; and that tyranny
 favors them in order to profit from the blindness of men."
            [Baron d'Holbach, "Systeme de la Nature" (1770)]
%
"If the ignorance of nature gave birth to gods, the
 knowledge of nature is calculated to destroy them."
  [Baron d'Holbach,  "Systeme de la Nature," p. 49]
%
"The sectaries of a religion, which preaches, in appearance, nothing but
 charity, concord, and peace, have proved themselves more ferocious than
 cannibals or savages, whenever their divines excited them to destroy
 their brethren. There is no crime in which men have not committed under
 the idea of pleasing the Divinity or appeasing his wrath."
               [Baron D'Holbach, "Good Sense," 1772]
%
"Jesus Christ never commanded toleration as a motive for His disciples,
 and toleration is the antithesis of the Christian message."
           ["The Southern Baptist Convention and
             Freemasonry" by James L. Holly, Page 30]
%
"For narrowness and sectarianism, there is no equal to the Lord Jesus Christ"
             ["The Southern Baptist Convention and
               Freemasonry" by James L. Holly, Page 40]
%
"What seems so right in the interest of toleration and its
 cousins-liberty, equality and fraternity-is actually one of the
 subtlest lies of the 'father of lies.'"
           ["The Southern Baptist Convention and
             Freemasonry" by James L. Holly, Page 40]
%
"Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper
 chamber, if he has common sense on the ground floor."
             [Oliver Wendell Holmes]
%
"On the whole, I am on the side of the unregenerate who affirm the
 worth of life as an end in itself, as against the saints who deny it."
       [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.  (U.S. Supreme
        Court Justice), letter to Lady Pollock]
%
"I can't help an occasional semi-shudder as I remember that millions of
 intelligent men think that I am barred from the face of God unless I
 change.  But how can one pretend to believe what seems to him childish
 and devoid alike of historical and rational foundations?"
            [Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.,
             book review by Holmes for Time]
%
"The Pope put his foot on the neck of kings, but Calvin
 and his cohorts crushed the whole human race under their
 heels in the name of the Lord of Hosts."
    [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., address to the
     Massachusetts Medical Society, May 30, 1860]
%
"Rough work, iconoclasm, but the only way to get at truth."
           [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., 1860]
%
"The man who is always worrying whether or not his soul would
 be damned generally has a soul that isn't worth a damn."
              [Oliver Wendell Holmes]
%
"(But) in these torments endured by the faithful, Wendell Holmes had no
 part.  To him it mattered not that Darwin made the Garden of Eden a myth
 and Jonah's whale a monster to frighten children... For Holmes the core had
 been taken out of Christian theology a generation ago, when the Unitarians
 disavowed the doctrine of original sin.  Man lost his fear of hell-fire -
 and on that day gave back Christian doctrine to the preacher as irrelevant
 to life.  After that, disbelief in Genesis I was a small thing.  Wendall
 Holmes had achieved it without the least struggle.  He was born to it."
            [Oliver Wendell Holmes, from "Yankee From
             Olympus - Justice Holmes and His Family,"
             1945, by Catherine Drinker Bowen]
%
"We are all tattooed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe; the
 record may seem superficial, but it is indelible.  You cannot educate
 a man wholly out of the superstitious fears which were implanted in
 his imagination, no matter how utterly his reason may reject them."
             [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., "The Poet
              at the Breakfast Table" (1878)]
%
"You never need think you can turn over any old falsehoods without a
 terrible squirming of the horrid little population that dwells under it."
                 [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.]
%
"The universe is not hostile, nor yet is
 it friendly. It is simply indifferent."
    [John H. Holmes, A Sensible
     Man's View of Religion, 1933]
%
"The whole Bible was written by slave owners, and for slave owners.  There
 is no hint of criticism of slavery anywhere in that book.  Jesus made no
 objection to mistreatment of slaves.  He indicated that selling of debtors
 into slavery would be continued his forthcoming kingdom of heaven as well
 as masters having the right to beat their slaves and put them to torture."
          [Merrill Holste, "Slavery and the Bible", article in
           the May 1986 issue of American Atheist Magazine]
%
"Atheism deprives superstition of its stand ground,
 & compels Theism to reason for its existence."
      [George Jacob Holyoake, "Origin
       and Nature of Secularism"]
%
"The Questioning Spirit, whose curiosity has for its wholesome object the
 verification of truth, is the most effectual instrument of knowledge
 available to mankind.  A well-directed question is like a pickaxe - it
 liberates the gold from the superincumbent quartz.  Whole systems of error
 sometimes fall to the ground from the force of unanswerable questions.
 All error has contradiction in it, which is revealed by a relevant inquiry,
 when an artillery of counter assertions might not disclose it.  Arguments
 may be evaded, but a fair and pertinent question creates no animosity,
 and must answered, since silence is a confession of error or of ignorance."
             [George Jacob Holyoake, "Introduction" to
              _A New Catechism_ by M. M. Mangasarian]
%
"For myself, I flee the Bible as a viper,
 and revolt at the touch of a Christian."
   [George Jacob Holyoake, from "The History of
    the Last trial by Jury for Atheism," 1851]
%
"Our national debt already hangs like a millstone round the poor man's neck,
 and our national church and general religious institutions cost us, upon
 accredited computation, about 20 millions annually.  Worship being thus
 expensive, I appeal to your heads and your pocketbooks whether we are not
 too poor to have a God?  If poor men cost the state as much, they would be
 put like officers upon half-pay, and while our distress lasts I think it
 would be wise to do the same thing with deity."
            [George Jacob Holyoake, from "The History of
             the Last trial by Jury for Atheism," 1851]
%
"...it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the
 existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great
 systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative
 hypothesis of an extremely low order of probability."
                        [Sidney Hook]
%
"...maybe it will encourage people to pray and they will become Christian."
       [Rep. Ferry Hooper Jr. (R-Montgomery) on the "Alabama Live"
        show, Nov. 20, 1997, exposing the true motive of his bill
        requiring all students to participate in a daily moment of
        "quiet reflection" at the beginning of each class day]
%
"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"
                [Art Hoppe]
%
"The causal argument is not merely invalid but self-contradictory: the
 conclusion, which says that something (God) does not have a cause,
 contradicts the premise, which says that everything must have a cause. If
 that premise is true, the conclusion cannot be true; and if the conclusion
 is true, the premise cannot be. Many people do not at once see this because
 they use the argument to get to God, and then having arrived where they want
 to go, they forget all about the argument...if the conclusion contradicts
 its own premise, we have the most damming indictment of an argument that we
 could possibly have: that it is self-contradictory."
     [John Hospers, "An Introduction to Philosophical Analysis," 1967]
%
"...And malt does more than Milton can
 To justify God's ways to man"
          [A. E. Housman]
%
"This right here is the work of the Lord."
  [John Howard, owner of the Laurens, SC
  "The Redneck Shop & Ku Klux Klan Museum"
   from Nov 14, 1996 ed. of the CNN web page]
%
"A mail order bride: 15 shekels (Hosea 3:2)
 A horse from Egypt: 150 shekels (2 Chronicles 1:17)
 A chariot from Egypt: 600 shekels (2 Chronicle 1:17)
 Raping a virgin: 50 shekels (Deuteronomy 22:28)
 Knowing that you can get away with rape: Priceless."
                 [Yang Hu]
%
"A mystic is a person who is puzzled before the
 obvious but who understands the nonexistent."
     [Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
      American author, editor, publisher]
%
"Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination."
       [Elbert Hubbard, "The Notebook", 1927]
%
"Men whose lives are doubtful want a
 strong government and a hot religion."
       [Elbert Hubbard]
%
"Orthodoxy is a corpse that does not know it is dead."
         [Elbert Hubbard, "Epigrams"]
%
"The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: be satisfied
 with your opinions and content with your knowledge."
      [Elbert Hubbard, "The Philistine"]
%
"A Miracle: an event described by those to whom
 it was told by men who did not see it."
            [Elbert Hubbard]
%
"If you can't answer a man's arguments, all
 is not lost; you can still call him vile names."
             [Elbert Hubbard]
%
"Formal religion was organized for slaves: it offered
 them consolation which earth did not provide."
      [Elbert Hubbard, "The Philistine"]
%
"Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand
 it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner."
                        [Elbert Hubbard]
%
"An ounce of performance is worth more than a pound of preachment."
                      [Elbert Hubbard]
%
"Falling in love is the beginning of all wisdom, all sympathy,
 all compassion, all art, all religion; and in its larger sense
 is the one thing in life worth doing."
                       [Elbert Hubbard]
%
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and
 tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit."
                 [Kin Hubbard]
%
"The way to make money is to start your own religion."
              [L. Ron Hubbard, 1954]
%
"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous.  If a man really wants to
 make a million dolars, the best way would be to start his own religion."
    [Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, 1949, then just a science
     fiction writer. Quoted in the New York Times, July 11, 1984,
     from James A. Haught, ed., 2000 Years of Disbelief]
%
"In any event, any person from 2.0 down on the Tone Scale should
 not have, in any thinking society, any civil rights of any kind."
                      [L. Ron Hubbard]
%
"If you hypothesize that there is a God, but that there is nothing sure
 and definite you can point to as a reliable pattern of things that God
 does, how does a state of affairs where a God does nothing, functions
 in no way, differ from a state of affairs where there is no God?  And,
 if the situation is that there is a God, and this God does nothing that
 humans can surely identify as God-action - in contradistinction from
 other action, physical/chemical/biological/psychological/social -- then
 how can any human being ever have warrant for affirming God?"
        [C. Lee Hubbell, The American Rationalist, Oct '94]
%
"The primary tool of science is skepticism,
 whose light shrivels unquestioning faith."
            [Mike Huben]
%
"No man has the right to have his own religion."
     [Bishop Hughes, "Official Journal
      of Bishops", Jan. 26 1852]
%
"Many good souls protest against a destructive criticism of Christianity and
 demand a substitute.  I do not feel any obligation to substitute a new god
 for the old ones.  I should gladly let them all go.  I do not approve of
 cancer, and yet I do not feel that I have no right to attack a quack who
 promises a false cure until I have no real cure to propose.  As someone
 said: he who helps destroy the boll-weevil has done as constructive work
 as he who plants the seed."
       [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church",
        New York, Freethought Press Assn., 1924]
%
"It is well said that "eternal vigilance is the price of liberty," and I am
 confirmed every day in my intense conviction that the church as the church is
 the enemy of freedom.  While protesting loudly its faith in the Truth with
 a capital T, "the truth shall make us free," it fights at every step every
 effort to learn the truth and publish it and be guided by it."
       [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church",
        New York, Freethought Press Assn., 1924]
%
"John Wesley said that if you give up the witchcraft, you must
 give up the Bible.  He is right.  The choice is easy for me."
       [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church",
        New York, Freethought Press Assn., 1924]
%
"According to the Bible, God was ignorant, a ruthless liar and cheat;
 he broke his pledges, changed his mind so often that he grew weary of
 repenting. He was a murderer of children, ordered his people to slay,
 rape, steal, and lie and commit every foul and filthy abomination in
 human power. In fact, the more I read the Bible the less I find in it
 that is either credible or admirable."
         [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church," 1924]
%
"And this David! He was such a villain as I should never dare use in the
 most melodramatic novel. His crimes are peculiarly despicable and versatile,
 from his earliest exploits to his later sex-manias, including the foul
 treatment of a soldier whose wife he desired, and his habit of warming his
 chill frame with a fresh girl every night. He was a traitor, an indefatigable
 liar, he drove women children through burning brick kilns or tore them to
 pieces with harrows, he sawed them in two and on hid death-bed left
 instructions to kill a devoted man whom he had sworn to protect."
         [Rupert Hughes, "Why I Quit Going to Church," 1924]
%
"Hell is an outrage on humanity.  When you tell me that your Deity
 made you in his own image, I reply that he must have been very ugly."
              [Victor Hugo, quoted in Cardiff,
               "What Great Men Think of Religion"]
%
"No deity will save us, we must save ourselves. Promises of immortal
 salvation or fear of eternal damnation are both illusory and harmful."
          [Humanist Manifesto II, Prometheus Books, 1973]
%
"...but I would still reply, that the knavery and folly of men
 are such common phenomena, that I should rather believe the most
 extraordinary events to arise from their concurrence, than admit
 of so signal a violation of the laws of nature."
  ["An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding", David Hume, 10:2:30]
%
"There is not to be found, in all history any miracle attested by a
 sufficient number of men, of such unquestioned goodness, education, and
 learning as to secure us against all delusion in themselves; of such
 undoubted integrity as to place them beyond all suspicion of any design to
 deceive others; of such credit and reputation in the eyes of mankind as to
 have a great deal to lose in case of their being detected in any falsehood;
 and at the same time attesting facts, performed in such a public manner, and
 in so celebrated a part of the world, as to render the detection unavoidable."
          [David Hume, "Of Miracles", from An Enquiry
           Concerning Human Understanding, 1748]
%
"The Christian religion not only was at first attended with miracles, but
 even at this day cannot be believed by any reasonable person without one."
    [David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, 1748]
%
"In the infancy of new religions, the wise and learned commonly esteem the
 matter too inconsiderable to deserve their attention or regard.  And when
 afterwards they would willingly detect the cheat, in order to undeceive the
 deluded multitude, the season is now past, and the records and witnesses,
 which might clear up the matter, have perished beyond recovery."
                 [David Hume, "Of Miracles"]
%
"Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous;
 those in philosophy only ridiculous."
      [David Hume, Treatise of Human Nature (1739)]
%
"No testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the
 testimony be of such a kind, that its falsehood would be more
 miraculous than the fact which it endeavors to establish."
      [David Hume, "Of Miracles", from An Enquiry
       Concerning Human Understanding, 1748]
%
"The weakness of the body and that of the mind in infancy are exactly
 proportioned; their vigour in manhood, their sympathetic disorder in
 sickness, their common gradual decay in old age.  The step further
 seems unavoidable; their common dissolution in death."
    [David Hume (1771-1776) "Of the Immortality of the Soul"]
%
"All that belongs to human understanding, in this deep ignorance
 and obscurity, is to be skeptical, or at least cautious; and not
 to admit of any hypothesis, whatsoever; much less, of any which
 is supported by no appearance of probability."
                        [David Hume]
%
"The many instances of forged miracles, and prophecies, and supernatural
 events, which, in all ages, have either been detected by contrary evidence,
 or which detect themselves by their absurdity, prove sufficiently the strong
 propensity of mankind to the extraordinary and marvellous, and ought
 reasonably to begat a suspicion against all relations of this kind."
    [David Hume, "Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding" 1748]
%
"Men dare not avow, even to their own hearts, the doubts which they
 entertain on such subjects. They make a merit of implicit faith; and
 disguise to themselves their real infidelity, by the strongest
 asseverations and the most positive bigotry."
           [David Hume, on doctrinaire religions]
%
"When I hear a man is religious, I conclude that he is a rascal,
 although I have known some instances of very good men being religious."
              [David Hume, Scottish philosopher
               and historian (1711-1776)]
%
"If we take in hand any volume-- of divinity or school metaphysics, for
 instance,-- let us ask, Does it contain any abstract reasoning concerning
 quantity or number?  No.  Does it contain any experimental reasoning
 concerning matters of fact and existence?  No.  Commit it then to the
 flames, for it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion."
        [David Hume, "An Inquiry Concerning Human Understanding"]
%
"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence."
         [David Hume, "An Inquiry
          Concerning Human Understanding"]
%
"Nor is it possible to explain distinctly, how the Deity can
 be the mediate cause of all the actions of men, without being
 the author of sin and moral turpitude."
           [David Hume, "An Enquiry Concerning
            Human Understanding" 1748]
%
"The believer is happy; the doubter is wise."
          [Hungarian proverb]
%
A fools prayer:

Dear Lord,
Please help us not to be blasphemers.
In Jesus name we pray....

     [Bill Huston]
%
"The Meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to
 devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation.
                 --Lew Mammel, Jr.

"One fails the Inverse-Meta-Turing test if one conceives of a Creator,
 but does not attempt to devise an intelligence test for It/Him. One
 also fails if the concept of the Creator remains unchanged as the
 result of the test.
                    [Bill Huston]
%
"Extinguished theologians lie about the cradle of every science,
 as the strangled snakes beside that of Hercules."
                       [Huxley]
%
"If we must play the theological game, let us never forget
 that it is a game.  Religion, it seems to me, can survive
 only as a consciously accepted system of make believe."
       [Aldous Huxley, "Time Must Have a Stop"]
%
"You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible
 fooleries of magic and religion.  Only man behaves with such gratuitous
 folly.  It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not,
 as yet, quite intelligent enough."
                       [Aldous Huxley]
%
"History reveals that the Church and the State as a pair
 of indispensable Molochs. they protect their worshipping
 subjects, only to enslave and destroy them."
      [Aldous Huxley, Themes in Variations, 1950]
%
"Luckily the majority of nominal Christians has at no time taken
 the Christian ideal very seriously; if it had, the races and the
 civilization of the West would long ago have come to an end."
           [Aldous Huxley, in Cardiff, "What
            Great Men Think of Religion"]
%
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."
       [Aldous Huxley, "Proper Studies"]
%
"What is the easiest way for a skeptic to achieve faith? The question was
 answered three hundred years ago by Pascal. The unbeliever must act 'as
 though he believed, take holy water, have masses said etc. This will
 naturally cause you to believe and will besot you.' (Cela vous abetira--
 literally, will make you stupid.) We have to be made stupid, insist Professor
 Jacques Chevalier, defending his hero against the critics who have been
 shocked by Pascal's blunt language; we have to stultify our intelligence,
 because 'intellectual pride deprives us of God and debases us to the level of
 animals.' Which is, of course, perfectly true. But it does not follow from
 this truth that we ought to besot ourselves in the manner prescribed by
 Pascal and all the propagandists of all religions. Intellectual pride can
 be cured only by devaluating pretentious words, only by getting rid of
 conceptualized pseudo-knowledge and opening ourselves to reality. Artificial
 piety based on conditioned reflexes merely transfers intellectual pride from
 the bumptious individual to his even more bumptious Church. At one remove,
 the pride remains intact. For the convinced believer, understanding or direct
 contact with reality is exceedingly difficult. Moreover, the mere fact of
 having a strong reverential feeling about some hallowed thing, person or
 proposition is no guarantee of the existence of the thing, the infallibility
 of the person or truth of the proposition."
             [Aldous Huxley, "Knowledge and Understanding"]
%
"The effectiveness of political and religious propaganda depends upon
 the methods employed, not on the doctrine taught. These doctrines may
 be true or false, wholesome or pernicious-it makes little or no
 difference...Under favorable conditions, practically everybody can be
 converted to practically anything."
        [Aldous Huxley, "Brave New World Revisited," 1958]
%
"The solution...would seem to lie in dismantling the theistic edifice, which
 will no longer bear the weight of the universe as enlarged by recent science,
 and attempting to find new outlets for the religious spirit. God, in any but
 a purely philosophical, and one is almost tempted to say Pickwickian sense,
 turns out to be a product of the human mind. As an independent or unitary
 being active in the affairs of the universe, he does not exist."
            [Julian Huxley, "Science, Religion and Human
             Nature," Conway Memorial Lecture, 1930]
%
"Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler
 but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat."
              [Sir Julian Huxley]
%
"The sense of spiritual relief which comes from rejecting
 the idea of God as a supernatural being is enormous."
   [Sir Julian Huxley. "Religion Without Revelation"]
%
"...any belief in supernatural creators, rulers, or influencers of
 natural or human process introduces an irreparable split into the
 universe, and prevents us from grasping its real unity. Any belief
 in Absolutes, whether the absolute validity of moral commandments,
 of authority of revelation, of inner certitudes, or of divine
 inspiration, erects a formidable barrier against progress and the
 responsibility of improvement, moral, rational, and religious."
                 [Sir Julian Huxley]
%
"We should be agnostic about those things for which there is no
 evidence. We should not hold beliefs merely because they gratify
 our desires for afterlife, immortality, heaven, hell, etc."
   [Sir Julian Sorell Huxley, (1887-1975) English biologist
    and author, from "Religion without Revelation"]
%
"I use the word "Humanist" to mean someone who believes that man is just as
 much a natural phenomenon as an animal or a plant; that his body, mind or
 soul were not supernaturally created but are products of evolution, and that
 he is not under the control or guidance of any supernatural being, but has
 to rely on himself and his own powers."
            [Julian Huxley, "The Humanist Frame," 1961]
%
"That it is wrong for a man to say that he is certain of the objective
 truth of any proposition unless he can produce evidence which logically
 justifies that certainty.  This is what Agnosticism asserts; and, in my
 opinion, it is all that is essential to Agnosticism.  That which Agnostics
 deny and repudiate, as immoral, is the contrary doctrine, that there are
 propositions which men ought to believe, without logically satisfactory
 evidence; and that reprobation ought to attach to the profession of
 disbelief in such inadequately supported propositions."
          [Thomas H. Huxley, "Agnosticism and Christianity,"
           1889, Prometheus Publications p. 193]
%
"The dogma of the infallibility of the Bible is no more
 self-evident than is that of the infallibility of the popes."
    [Thomas H. Huxley, "Controverted Questions," 1892]
%
"The Bible account of the creation of Eve is a preposterous fable."
           [Thomas Huxley, English biologist]
%
"Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors."
     [Thomas H. Huxley (1825-1895), English biologist and
      advocate of Darwin's natural selection theory]
%
"Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or
 believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe."
             [Thomas Huxley, from Cardiff,
              "What Great Men Think of Religion"]
%
"The foundation of morality is to... give up pretending to believe
 that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible
 propositions about things beyond the possibilities of knowledge."
                    [Thomas Huxley]
%
"...inclined to think that not far from the
 invention of fire must rank the invention of doubt"
              [Thomas Huxley]
%
"The only question which a wise man can ask himself is whether a
 doctrine is true or false. Consequences will take care of themselves."
        [Thomas Henry Huxley, English biologist (1825-1895)]
%
"...I can but admire the courage and clear foresight of the Anglican divine
 who tells us that we must be prepared to choose between the trustworthiness
 of scientific method and the trustworthiness of that which the Church
 declares to be Divine authority.  For, to my mind, this declaration of war
 to the knife against secular science, even in its most elementary form this
 rejection, without a moment's hesitation, of any and all evidence which
 conflicts with theological dogma--is the only position which is logically
 reconcilable with the axioms of orthodoxy."
  [Thomas H. Huxley, "Science And Hebrew Tradition Essays", pp. 229,230]
%
"Cinderella [Science]... lights the fire, sweeps the house, and provides the
 dinner; and is rewarded by being told that she is a base creature, devoted
 to low and material interests. But in her garret she has fairy visions out
 of the ken of the pair of shrews [Theology and Philosophy] who are quarrelling
 downstairs. She sees the order which pervades the seeming disorder of the
 world; the great drama of evolution, with its full share of pity and terror,
 but also with abundant goodness and beauty... ; and she learns... that the
 foundation of morality is to [be] done, once and for all, with lying; to give
 up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence."
                       [Thomas H. Huxley]
%
"I do not say think as I think, but think in my way. Fear no shadows,
 least of all in that great spectre of personal unhappiness which
 binds half the world to orthodoxy."
                     [Thomas H. Huxley]
%
"...claiming my right to follow whethersoever science should lead...
 it is as respectable to be modified monkey as modified dirt."
                      [Thomas H. Huxley]
%
"No one who has lived in the world as long as you & I have, can entertain
 the pious delusion that it is engineered upon principles of benevolence...
 the cosmos remains always beautiful and profoundly interesting in every corner
 -- and if I had as many lives as a cat I would leave no corner unexplored."
                       [Thomas H. Huxley]
%
"Science... warns me to be careful how I adopt a view which jumps
 with my preconceptions, and to require stronger evidence for such
 belief than for one to which I was previously hostile.  My business
 is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to
 try and make facts harmonize with my aspirations."
                    [Thomas Huxley, 1960]
%
"If then the question is put to me, would I rather have a miserable ape
 for a grandfather or a man highly endowed by nature and possessing great
 means and influence and yet who employs those faculties and that influence
 for the mere purpose of introducing ridicule into grave scientific
 discussion, I unhesitatingly affirm my preference for the ape."
            [Thomas H. Huxley, Reply to Bishop Wilberforce,
             who asked if he was descended form an ape on
             his mother's side or his father's side.]
%
"What are among the moral convictions most fondly held by barbarous and
 semi-barbarous people? They are the convictions that authority is the
 soundest basis of belief; that merit attaches to readiness to believe;
 that doubting disposition is a bad one, and skepticism a sin; that when
 good authority has pronounced what is to be believed, and faith has
 accepted it, reason has no further duty."
              [Thomas H. Huxley, in Cardiff,
               "What Great Men Think of Religion"]
%
"The improver of natural knowledge absolutely refuses to acknowledge
 authority, as such. For him, skepticism is the highest of duties;
 blind faith the one unpardonable sin."
               [Thomas H. Huxley, in Cardiff,
                "What Great Men Think of Religion"]
%
"The church founded by Jesus has not made its way; has not
 permeated the world--but did become extinct in the country
 of its birth--as Nazarenism and Ebionism."
  [Thomas H. Huxley, Letter to Robert Taylor, June 3, 1889]
%
"The belief in a demonic world is inculcated throughout the Gospels
 and the rest of the books of the New Testament; it pervades the whole
 patristic literature; it colors the theory and the practice of every
 Christian church down to modern times."
        [Thomas H. Huxley, "Controverted Questions," 1892]
%
"I neither deny nor affirm the immortality of man. I see no reason for
 believing in it, but on the other hand, I have no means of disproving it."
        [Thomas H. Huxley, Letter to Charles Kingsley, 1860]
%
"The known is finite, the unknown is infinite; intellectually we stand
 on an islet in the midst of an illimitable ocean of inexplicability.
 Our business in every generation is to reclaim a little more land."
                     [Thomas H. Huxley]
%
"Orthodoxy is the Bourbon of the world of thought.
 It learns not, neither can it forget."
    [Thomas H. Huxley, in Cardiff,
     "What Great Men Think of Religion"]
%
"What we call rational grounds for our beliefs are often
 extremely irrational attempts to justify our instincts."
  [Thomas H. Huxley, "On the Natural Inequality of Man," 1890]
%
"I have no faith, very little hope, and as much charity as I can afford."
   [Thomas H. Huxley, in Cardiff, "What Great men think of Religion"]
%
"The clerics and their lay allies commonly tell us, that if we refuse to
 admit that there is good ground for expressing definite convictions about
 certain topics, the bonds of human society will dissolve and mankind lapse
 into savagery. There are several answers to this assertion. One is that
 the bonds of human society were formed without the aid of their theology;
 and, in the opinion of not a few competent judges, have been weakened rather
 than strengthened by a good deal of it. Greek science, Greek art, the ethics
 of old Israel, the social organisation of old Rome, contrived to come into
 being, without the help of any one who believed in a single distinctive
 article of the simplest of the Christian creeds. The science, the art,
 the jurisprudence, the chief political and social theories, of the modern
 world have grown out of those of Greece and Rome-not by favour of, but in
 the teeth of, the fundamental teachings of early Christianity, to which
 science, art, and any serious occupation with the things of this world,
 were alike despicable."
          [Thomas Huxley, "Agnosticism and Christianity" 1889]
           http://aleph0.clarku.edu/huxley/CE5/Agn-X.html
%
"To rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment
 in another world, is just as base as to use force."
    [Hypatia (c. 370-415 CE), Alexandrian mathematician,
     murdered by a Christian mob in 415 CE]
%
"Nowhere is there an account or portrait of Christ laughing. . .he is always
 stern, serious and as gloomy as a prison guard. Never does one see him
 laughing until tears appear in his eyes like the roly-poly squint-eyed
 Buddha guffawing with arms upraised..."
                              [I.R.]
%
"Call on God, but row away from the rocks."
          [Indian proverb]
%
"To become a popular religion, it is only necessary
 for a superstition to enslave a philosophy."
         [William Ralph Inge, 1920]
%
"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our
 distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were
 able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form.
                      [William Ralph Inge]
%
"The church is only a secular institution in which
 the half-educated speak to the half-converted."
           [William Ralph Inge]
%
"December 25th is the birthday, not of Christ, but of Mithra, the
 Invincible Sun. Isis of many names has acquired a new one as the Madonna."
                     [William R. Inge]
%
"Miracle is a bastard child of faith and reason,
 which neither parent can afford to own."
           [William R. Inge]
%
"We are not endeavoring to chain the future but to free the present. ...We
 are the advocates of inquiry, investigation, and thought. ...It is grander
 to think and investigate for yourself than to repeat a creed. ... I look
 for the day when *reason*, throned upon the world's brains, shall be the
 King of Kings and the God of Gods."
               [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872]
%
"I honestly believe that the doctrine of hell was born in the glittering eyes
 of snakes that run in frightful coils watching for their prey.  I believe
 it was born with the yelping, howling, growling and snarling of wild beasts...
 I despise it with every drop of my blood."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child" 1877]
%
"An honest god is the noblest work of man.  ... God has always resembled
 his creators.  He hated and loved what they hated and loved and he was
 invariably found on the side of those in power. ... Most of the gods
 were pleased with sacrifice, and the smell of innocent blood has ever
 been considered a divine perfume."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872]
%
"To hate man and worship god seems to be the sum of all the creeds."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses" 1879]
%
"..Infidels in all ages have battled for the rights of man, and have
 at all times been the fearless advocates of liberty and justice..."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872]
%
"I have little confidence in any enterprise or business or investment
 that promises dividends only after the death of the stockholders."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Wooden God" letter
           to the Chicago Times, March 27, 1890]
%
"The hands that help are better far than the lips that pray."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Devil" 1899]
%
"The Declaration of Independence announces the sublime truth that all
 power comes from the people.  This was a denial, and the first denial
 of a nation, of the infamous dogma that God confers the right upon
 one man to govern others."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality" 1873]
%
  "With soap, baptism is a good thing."
[Robert G. Ingersoll, "My Reviewers Reviewed"
 lecture in San Francisco, June 27, 1877]
%
"Nothing can exceed the mendacity of the religious press.  I have had some
 little experience with political editors, and am forced to say, that until
 I read the religious papers, I did not know what malicious and slimy
 falsehoods could be constructed from ordinary words.  The ingenuity with
 which the real and apparent meaning can be tortured out of language is
 simply amazing.  The average religious editor is intolerant and insolent...
 and always accounts for the brave and generous actions of unbelievers by
 low, base, and unworthy motives."
           ["The Ghosts", Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p.260]
%
"It is contended by many that ours is a Christian government, founded upon
 the Bible, and that all who look upon that book as false or foolish are
 destroying the foundation of our country.  The truth is, our government is
 not founded upon the rights of gods, but upon the rights of men.  Our
 Constitution was framed, not to declare and uphold the deity of Christ, but
 the sacredness of humanity.  Ours is the first government made by the people
 for the people.  It is the only nation with which the gods have nothing to
 do.  And yet there are some judges dishonest and cowardly enough to solemly
 decide that this is a Christian country, and that our free institutions are
 based upon the infamous laws of Jehovah."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality" 1873]
%
"I combat those only who, knowing nothing of the future, prophesy an eternity
 of pain- those who sow the seeds of fear in the hearts of men- those only
 who poison all the springs of life, and seat a skeleton at every feast."
                [Robert G. Ingersoll, Field-Ingersoll
                 Debate, Letter to Dr. Field.  1887]
%
"He who commends the brutalities of the past,
 sows the seeds of future crimes."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, Ingersoll-Gladstone
    debate, response to Wm. Gladstone, 1888]
%
"A crime against god is a demonstrated impossibility."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, Second
       Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882]
%
"Orthodoxy cannot afford to put out the fires of hell."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy" 1884]
%
"By the efforts of these infidels, the name of God was left out
 of the Constitution of the United States.  They knew that if an
 infinite being was put in, no room would be left for the people."
 They knew that if any church was made the mistress of the state,
 that mistress, like all others, would corrupt, weaken, and destroy."
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels"
          1881, in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 3, p. 382]
%
"Every pulpit is a pillory, in which stands a hired culprit,
 defending the justice of his own imprisonment."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality" 1873]
%
"If priests had not been fond of mutton, lambs never would have been sacrified
 to god.  Nothing was ever carried to the temple that the priest could not use,
 and it always happened that god wanted what his agents liked."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Christmas Sermon"
              printed in Evening Telegraph, Dec. 19, 1891]
%
"The inspiration of the Bible depends on the credulity of him who reads."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion" Sec. III,
         The Ingersoll-Black Debate, (New York) April 25, 1881]
%
"It cannot be too often repeated, that truth scorns the assistance of miracle."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion"
              Sec. III, The Ingersoll-Black Debate, 1881]
%
"We are told in the Pentateuch, that god, the father of us all, gave
 thousands of maidens, after having killed their fathers, their mothers,
 and their brothers, to satisfy the brutal lusts of savage men.  If there
 be a god, I pray him to write in his book, opposite my name, that I
 denied this lie for him."
              [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Few Reasons for
               Doubting the Inspiration of the Bible"]
%
"If a man would follow, to-day, the teachings of the Old Testament,
 he would be a criminal.  If he would follow strictly the teachings
 of the New, he would be insane."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, Third
             Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882]
%
"The intellectual advancement of man depends on how often
 he can exchange an old superstition for a new truth."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872]
%
"We are not accountable for the sins of "Adam"
 [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Myth and Miracle" 1885]
%
"If Christ, in fact, said "I came not to bring peace but a sword," it is
 the only prophecy in the New Testament that has been literally fulfilled."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why" 1881]
%
"Religion supports nobody.  It has to be supported.  It produces no wheat,
 no corn; it ploughs no land; it fells no forests.  It is a perpetual
 mendicant.  It lives on the labors of others, and then has the arrogance
 to pretend that it supports the giver."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Christmas Sermon"
             printed in Evening Telegraph, Dec. 19, 1891]
%
"We have heard talk enough.  We have listened to all the drowsy, idealess,
 vapid sermons that we wish to hear.  We have read your Bible and the works
 of your best minds.  We have heard your prayers, your solemn groans and your
 reverential amens.  All these amount to less than nothing.  We want one fact.
 We beg at the doors of your churches for just one little fact.  We pass our
 hats along your pews and under your pulpits and implore you for just one fact.
 We know all about your mouldy wonders and your stale miracles.  We want a
 'this year's fact'.  We ask only one.  Give us one fact for charity.  Your
 miracles are too ancient.  The witnesses have been dead for nearly two
 thousand years.  Their reputation for 'truth and veracity' in the neighborhood
 where they resided is wholly unknown to us.  Give us a new miracle, and
 substantiate it by witnesses who still have the cheerful habit of living this
 world.  Do not send us to Jericho to hear the winding horns, nor put us in the
 fire with Shadrach, Meshech and Abednego. Do not compel us to navigate the sea
 with Captain Jonah, nor dine with Mr. Ezekiel.  There is no sort of use in
 sending us fox-hunting with Samson.  We have positively lost all interest in
 that little speech so eloquently delivered by Balaam's inspired donkey.  It is
 worse than useless to show us fishes with money in their mouths, and call our
 attention to vast multitudes stuffing themselves with five crackers and two
 sardines.  We demand a new miracle, and we demand it now.
 Let the church furnish at least one, or forever hold her peace."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods" 1872]
%
"Ministers say that they teach charity. That is natural. They
 live on alms. All beggars teach that others should give."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Truth" 1897]
%
"This crime called blasphemy was invented by priests for the
 purpose of defending doctrines not able to take care of themselves."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll], "An Interview on Chief
        Justice Comegys", Brooklyn Eagle, 1881]
%
"The real oppressor, enslaver, and corrupter of the people is the Bible.
 That book is the chain that binds, the dungeon that holds the clergy.
 That book spreads the pall of superstition over the colleges and schools.
 That book puts out the eyes of science, and makes honest investigation
 a crime. That book fills the world with bigotry, hypocrisy and fear."
     [_Some Mistakes of Moses_, Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 2 p. 43]
%
"Theology is not what we know about God, but what we do not know about Nature.
 In order to increase our respect for the Bible, it became necessary for the
 priests to exalt and extol that book, and at the same time to decry and
 belittle the reasoning powers of man.  The whole power of the pulpit has
 been used for hundreds of years to destroy the confidence of man in himself--
 to induce him to distrust his own powers of thought, to believe that he was
 wholly unable to decide any question for himself, and that all human virtue
 consists in faith and obedience.  The church has said 'Believe and obey!'
 If you reason you will become an unbeliever, and unbelievers will be lost.
 If you disobey, you will do so through vain pride and curiosity, and will,
 like Adam and Eve, be thrust from Paradise forver!  For my part, I care
 nothing for what the church says, except in so far as it accords with my
 reason; and the Bible is nothing to me, only in so far as it agrees with
 what I think or know."
     [_Some Mistakes of Moses_, Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 2 p. 53]
%
"Blasphemy is an epithet bestowed by superstition upon common sense."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, Second Interview on Rev.
         Talmadge, 1882, in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 5, p. 49]
%
"Calvin founded a little theocracy, modeled after the Old Testament, and
 succeeded in erecting the most detestable government that ever existed,
 except the one from which it was copied."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies"
           Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 226]
%
"That church [Catholic] teaches us that we can
 make God happy by being miserable ourselves..."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved?"
   1880, in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 492]
%
"..if all the bones of all the victims of the Catholic Church could be
 gathered together, a monument higher than all the pyramids would rise..."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved?"
        1880, in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 497]
%
"Take from the church the miraculous, the supernatural, the incomprehensible,
 the unreasonable, the impossible, the unknowable, the absurd, and nothing
 but a vacuum remains."
              [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877,
               in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 285]
%
"Give the church a place in the Constitution, let her touch once more the
 sword of power, and the priceless fruit of all ages will turn to ashes
 on the lips of men."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873,
             in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 1, p. 203, and
             from letter to Houston Post, Aug. 17, 1866]
%
"Suppose, however, that God did give this law to the Jews, and did tell them
 that whenever a man preached a heresy, or proposed to worship any other God
 that they should kill him; and suppose that afterward this same God took
 upon himself flesh, and came to this very chosen people and taught a
 different religion, and that thereupon the Jews crucified him; I ask you,
 did he not reap exactly what he had sown?  What right would this god have to
 complain of a crucifixion suffered in accordance with his own command?"
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses",
            in Ingersoll's Works, Vol. 2, p. 259]
%
"Heresy is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin."
      [Robert Ingersoll, "Heretics
       and Heresies", 1874]
%
"God so loved the world that he made up his mind
 to damn a large majority of the human race."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why
         I Am An Agnostic", 1876]
%
"EACH nation has created a god, and the god has always resembled his creators.
 He hated and loved what they hated and loved, and he was invariably found on
 the side of those in power.  Each god was intensely patriotic, and detested
 all nations but his own. All these gods demanded praise, flattery, and
 worship. Most of them were pleased with sacrifice, and the smell of innocent
 blood has ever been considered a divine perfume. All these gods have insisted
 upon having a vast number of priests, and the priests have always insisted
 upon being supported by the people, and the principal business of these
 priests has been to boast about their god, and to insist that he could easily
 vanquish all the other gods put together."
              [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Most of these gods were revengeful, savage, lustful, and
 ignorant. As they generally depended upon their priests for
 information, their ignorance can hardly excite our astonishment."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"These gods did not even know the shape of the worlds they had created, but
 supposed them perfectly flat. Some thought the day could be lengthened by
 stopping the sun, that the blowing of horns could throw down the walls of
 a city, and all knew so little of the real nature of the people they had
 created, that they commanded the people to love them. Some were so ignorant
 as to suppose that man could believe just as he might desire, or as they
 might command, and that to be governed by observation, reason, and experience
 was a most foul and damning sin. None of these gods could give a true account
 of the creation of this little earth. All were woefully deficient in geology
 and astronomy. As a rule, they were most miserable legislators, and as
 executives, they were far inferior to the average of American presidents."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"These deities have demanded the most abject and degrading obedience.
 In order to please them, man must lay his very face in the dust. Of
 course, they have always been partial to the people who created them,
 and have generally shown their partiality by assisting those people
 to rob and destroy others, and to ravish their wives and daughters."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Nothing is so pleasing to these gods as the butchery of unbelievers.
 Nothing so enrages them, even now, as to have someone deny their existence."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Few nations have been so poor as to have but one god. Gods were made
 so easily, and the raw material cost so little, that generally the god
 market was fairly glutted, and heaven crammed with these phantoms."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"When the people failed to worship one of these gods, or failed to feed and
 clothe his priests, (which was much the same thing,) he generally visited
 them with pestilence and famine. Sometimes he allowed some other nation to
 drag them into slavery -- to sell their wives and children; but generally
 he glutted his vengeance by murdering their firstborn. The priests always
 did their whole duty, not only in predicting these calamities, but in
 proving, when they did happen, that they were brought upon the people
 because they had not given quite enough to them."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"We are asked to justify these frightful passages, these infamous laws of war,
 because the Bible is the word of God. As a matter of fact, there never was,
 and there never can be, an argument even tending to prove the inspiration of
 any book whatever.  In the absence of positive evidence, analogy and
 experience, argument is simply impossible, and at the very best, can amount
 only to a useless agitation of the air. The instant we admit that a book is
 too sacred to be doubted, or even reasoned about, we are mental serfs. It is
 infinitely absurd to suppose that a god would Address a communication to
 intelligent beings, and yet make it a crime, to be punished in eternal
 flames, for them to use their intelligence for the purpose of understanding
 his communication. If we have the right to use our reason, we certainly have
 the right to act in accordance with it, and no god can have the right to
 punish us for such action."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"The book, called the Bible, is filled with passages equally horrible, unjust
 and atrocious. This is the book to be read in schools in order to make our
 children loving, kind and gentle!  This is the book they wish to be recognized
 in our Constitution as the source of all authority and justice!"
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"And we are called upon to worship such a God; to get upon our knees and tell
 him that he is good, that he is merciful, that he is just, that he is love.
 We are asked to stifle every noble sentiment of the soul, and to trample
 under foot all the sweet charities of the heart. Because we refuse to stultify
 ourselves -- refuse to become liars -- we are denounced, hated, traduced and
 ostracized here, and this same god threatens to torment us in eternal fire
 the moment death allows him to fiercely clutch our naked helpless souls. Let
 the people hate, let the god threaten -- we will educate them, and we will
 despise and defy the god."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"The doctrine that future happiness depends upon belief is monstrous. It is
 the infamy of infamies. The notion that faith in Christ is to be rewarded by
 an eternity of bliss, while a dependence upon reason, observation and
 experience merits everlasting pain, is too absurd for refutation, and can be
 relieved only by that unhappy mixture of insanity and ignorance, called
 "faith."  What man, who ever thinks, can believe that blood can appease God?
 And yet, our entire system of religion is based upon that believe. The Jews
 pacified Jehovah with the blood of animals, and according to the Christian
 system, the blood of Jesus softened the heart of God a little, and rendered
 possible the salvation of a fortunate few. It is hard to conceive how the
 human mind can give assent to such terrible ideas, or how any sane man can
 read the Bible and still believe in the doctrine of inspiration."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Whether the Bible is true or false, is of no consequence in
 comparison with the mental freedom of the race."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Salvation through slavery is worthless.
 Salvation from slavery is inestimable."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"As long as man believes the Bible to be infallible, that book
 is his master. The civilization of this century is not the child
 of faith, but of unbelief -- the result of free thought."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"All that is necessary, as it seems to me, to convince any reasonable person
 that the Bible is simply and purely of human invention -- of barbarian
 invention -- is to read it. Read it as you would any other book; think of
 it as you would of any other; get the bandage of reverence from your eyes;
 drive from your heart the phantom of fear; push from the throne of your
 brain the coiled form of superstition -- then read the Holy Bible, and you
 will be amazed that you ever, for one moment, supposed a being of infinite
 wisdom, goodness and purity, to be the author of such ignorance and
 of such atrocity."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"The account shows, however, that the gods dreaded education and knowledge
 then just as they do now. The church still faithfully guards the dangerous
 tree of knowledge, and has exerted in all ages her utmost power to keep
 mankind from eating the fruit thereof.  The priests have never ceased
 repeating the old falsehood and the old threat: "Ye shall not eat of it,
 neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die."  From every pulpit comes the same
 cry, born of the same fear: "Lest they eat and become as gods, knowing good
 and evil." For this reason, religion hates science, faith detests reason,
 theology is the sworn enemy of philosophy, and the church with its flaming
 sword still guards the hated tree, and like its supposed founder, curses to
 the lowest depths the brave thinkers who eat and become as gods."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"According to this account the promise of the devil was fulfilled
 to the very letter, Adam and Eve did not die, and they did become
 as gods, knowing good and evil."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to
 thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of
 learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears
 the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of
 inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Give me the storm and tempest of thought and action, rather than the dead
 calm of ignorance and faith! Banish me from Eden when you will; but first
 let me eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge!"
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872
              also quoted in Noyes, "Views of Religion"]
%
"There is but one way to demonstrate the existence of a power independent of
 and superior to nature, and that is by breaking, if only for one moment, the
 continuity of cause and effect. Pluck from the endless chain of existence one
 little link; stop for one instant the grand procession and you have shown
 beyond all contradiction that nature has a master. Change the fact, just for
 one second, that matter attracts matter, and a god appears.

     The rudest savage has always known this fact, and for that reason always
 demanded the evidence of miracle.  The founder of a religion must be able to
 turn water into wine -- cure with a word the blind and lame, and raise with a
 simple touch the dead to life. It was necessary for him to demonstrate to the
 satisfaction of his barbarian disciple, that he was superior to nature. In
 times of ignorance this was easy to do. The credulity of the savage was
 almost boundless. To him the marvelous was the beautiful, the mysterious was
 the sublime. Consequently, every religion has for its foundation a miracle --
 that is to say, a violation of nature -- that is to say, a falsehood.

     No one, in the world's whole history, ever attempted to substantiate a
 truth by a miracle. Truth scorns the assistance of miracle. Nothing but
 falsehood ever attested itself by signs and wonders. No miracle ever was
 performed, and no sane man ever thought he had performed one, and until one
 is performed, there can be no evidence of the existence of any power superior
 to, and independent of nature.

     The church wishes us to believe. Let the church, or one of its
 intellectual saints, perform a miracle, and we will believe. We are told
 that nature has a superior. Let this superior, for one single instant,
 control nature, and we will admit the truth of your assertions."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"In the olden times the church, by violating the order of nature, proved the
 existence of her God. At that time miracles were performed with the most
 astonishing ease. They became so common that the church ordered her priests
 to desist. And now this same church -- the people having found some little
 sense -- admits, not only, that she cannot perform a miracle but insists
 that the absence of miracle, the steady, unbroken march of cause and effect,
 proves the existence of a power superior to nature. The fact is, however,
 that the indissoluble chain of cause and effect proves exactly the contrary."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"If we admit that some infinite being has controlled the destinies of persons
 and peoples, history becomes a most cruel and bloody farce.  Age after age,
 the strong have trampled upon the weak; the crafty and heartless have
 ensnared and enslaved the simple and innocent, and nowhere, in all the
 annals of mankind, has any god succored the oppressed."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Man should cease to expect aid from on high. By this time he
 should know that heaven has no ear to hear, and no hand to help.
 The present is the necessary child of all the past. There has
 been no chance, and there can be no interference."
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"If abuses are destroyed, man must destroy them. If slaves are freed, man
 must free them. If new truths are discovered, man must discover them. If
 the naked are clothed; if the hungry are fed; if justice is done; if labor
 is rewarded; if superstition is driven from the mind; if the defenseless
 are protected and if the right finally triumphs, all must be the work of man.
 The grand victories of the future must be won by man, and by man alone."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Man must learn to rely upon himself. Reading bibles will not
 protect him from the blasts of winter, but houses, fires. and
 clothing will. To prevent famine, one plow is worth a million
 sermons, and even patent medicines will cure more diseases than
 all the prayers uttered since the beginning of the world."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"The thoughts of man, in order to be of any real worth, must be free. Under
 the influence of fear the brain is paralyzed, and instead of bravely solving
 a problem for itself, tremblingly adopts the solution of another. As long as
 a majority of men will cringe to the very earth before some petty prince or
 king, what must be the infinite abjectness of their little souls in the
 presence of their supposed creator and God? Under such circumstances,
 what can their thoughts be worth?"
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"The originality of repetition, and the mental vigor of acquiescence, are
 all that we have any right to expect from the Christian world. As long as
 every question is answered by the word "God," scientific inquiry is simply
 impossible. As fast as phenomena are satisfactorily explained the domain of
 the power, supposed to be superior to nature must decrease, while the
 horizon of the known must as constantly continue to enlarge."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"According to the theologians, God prepared this globe expressly for the
 habitation of his loved children, and yet he filled the forests with
 ferocious beasts; placed serpents in every path; stuffed the world with
 earthquakes, and adorned its surface with mountains of flame.

     Notwithstanding all this, we are told that the world is perfect; that
 it was created by a perfect being, and is therefore necessarily perfect.
 The next moment, these same persons will tell us that the world was cursed;
 covered with brambles, thistles and thorns, and that man was doomed to
 disease and death, simply because our poor, dear mother ate an apple
 contrary to the command of an arbitrary God."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"A very pious friend of mine, having heard that I had said the world
 was full of imperfections, asked me if the report was true. Upon being
 informed that it was, he expressed great surprise that any one could be
 guilty of such presumption. He said that, in his judgement, it was
 impossible to point out an imperfection "Be kind enough," said he, "to
 name even one improvement that you could make, if you had the power."
 "Well," said I, "I would make good health catching, instead of disease."
 The truth is, it is impossible to harmonize all the ills, and pains, and
 agonies of this world with the idea that we were created by, and are
 watched over and protected by an infinitely wise, powerful and beneficent
 God, who is superior to and independent of nature."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"The civilization of man has increased just to the same extent that religious
 power has decreased. The intellectual advancement of man depends upon how
 often he can exchange an old superstition for a new truth. The church never
 enabled a human being to make even one of these exchanges; on the contrary,
 all her power has been used to prevent them. In spite, however, of the church,
 man found that some of his religious conceptions were wrong. By reading his
 Bible, he found that the ideas of his God were more cruel and brutal than
 those of the most depraved savage. He also discovered that this holy book was
 filled with ignorance, and that it must have been written by persons wholly
 unacquainted with the nature of the phenomena by which we are surrounded; and
 now and then, some man had the goodness and courage to speak his honest
 thoughts. In every age some thinker, some doubter, some investigator, some
 hater of hypocrisy, some despiser of sham, some brave lover of the right,
 has gladly, proudly and heroically braved the ignorant fury of superstition
 for the sake of man and truth. These divine men were generally torn in pieces
 by the worshipers of the gods.  Socrates was poisoned because he lacked
 reverence for some of the deities. Christ was crucified by a religious rabble
 for the crime of blasphemy. Nothing is more gratifying to a religionist than
 to destroy his enemies at the command of God. Religious persecution springs
 from a due admixture of love towards God and hatred towards man."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"The terrible religious wars that inundated the world with blood tended at
 least to bring all religion into disgrace and hatred. Thoughtful people
 began to question the divine origin of a religion that made its believers
 hold the rights of others in absolute contempt. A few began to compare
 Christianity with the religions of heathen people, and were forced to admit
 that the difference was hardly worth dying for. They also found that other
 nations were even happier and more prosperous than their own. They began to
 suspect that their religion, after all, was not of much real value."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"For ages, a deadly conflict has been waged between a few brave men and women
 of thought and genius upon the one side, and the great ignorant religious
 mass on the other. This is the war between Science and Faith. The few have
 appealed to reason, to honor, to law, to freedom, to the known, and to
 happiness here in this world. The many have appealed to prejudice, to fear,
 to miracle, to slavery, to the unknown, and to misery hereafter. The few have
 said, "Think!" The many have said, "Believe!"
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"While utterly discarding all creeds, and denying the truth of all religions,
 there is neither in my heart nor upon my lips a sneer for the hopeful, loving
 and tender souls who believe that from all this discord will result a perfect
 harmony; that every evil will in some mysterious way become a good, and that
 above and over all there is a being who, in some way, will reclaim and
 glorify every one of the children of men; but for those who heartlessly try
 to prove that salvation is almost impossible; that damnation is almost
 certain; that the highway of the universe leads to hell; who fill life with
 fear and death with horror; who curse the cradle and mock the tomb, it is
 impossible to entertain other than feelings of pity, contempt and scorn."
               [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Reason, Observation and Experience -- the Holy Trinity of Science -- have
 taught us that happiness is the only good; that the time to be happy is now,
 and the way to be happy is to make others so. This is enough for us. In this
 belief we are content to live and die. If by any possibility the existence of
 a power superior to, and independent of, nature shall be demonstrated, there
 will then be time enough to kneel. Until then, let us stand erect."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Whoever imagines himself a favorite with God holds others in contempt."
             [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881]
%
"Whenever a man believes that he has the exact truth from God, there is
 in that man no spirit of compromise. He has not the modesty born of the
 imperfections of human nature; he has the arrogance of theological
 certainty and the tyranny born of ignorant assurance. Believing himself
 to be the slave of God, he imitates his master, and of all tyrants, the
 worst is a slave in power."
            [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881]
%
"When a man really believes that it is necessary to do a certain thing
 to be happy forever, or that a certain belief is necessary to ensure
 eternal joy, there is in that man no spirit of concession. He divides
 the whole world into saints and sinners, into believers and
 unbelievers, into God's sheep and Devil's goats, into people who will
 be glorified and people who are damned."
            [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881]
%
"...  I want it so that every minister will be not a parrot, not an owl
 sitting upon a dead limb of the tree of knowledge and hooting the hoots
 that have been hooted for eighteen hundred years.  But I want it so that
 each one can be an investigator, a thinker; and I want to make his
 congregation grand enough so that they will not only allow him to think,
 but will demand that he shall think, and give to them the honest truth of
 his thought."
           [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses"]
%
"There are some truths, however, that we should never forget: Superstition
 has always been the relentless enemy of science; faith has been a hater of
 demonstration; hypocrisy has been sincere only in its dread of truth, and
 all religions are inconsistent with mental freedom."
               [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Humboldt", 1869]
%
"If the book [the Bible] and my brain are both the work of the same
 Infinite God, whose fault is it that the book and my brain do not agree?"
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881]
%
"Tell me there is a God in the serene heavens that will damn his children
 for the expression of an honest belief! More men have died in their sins,
 judged by your orthodox creeds, than there are leaves on all the forests
 in the wide world ten thousand times over. Tell me these men are in hell;
 that these men are in torment; that these children are in eternal pain,
 and that they are to be punished forever and forever!  I denounce this
 doctrine as the most infamous of lies."
        [Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", 1877]
%
"All the meanness, all the revenge, all the selfishness, all the
 cruelty, all the hatred, all the infamy of which the heart of man
 is capable, grew, blossomed and bore fruit in this one word, Hell."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels", 1881]
%
"Is it not wonderful that the creator of all worlds, infinite in power and
 wisdom, could not hold his own against the gods of wood and stone? Is it
 not strange that after he had appeared to his chosen people, delivered
 them from slavery, feed them by miracles, opened the sea for a path, led
 them by cloud and fire, and overthrown their pursuers, they still preferred
 a calf of their own making?" (Exod. 32:1-8) "...a God who gave his entire
 time for 40 years to the work of converting three millions of people, and
 succeeded in getting only two men, and not a single woman, decent enough
 to enter the promised land?" (Num. 14:29-30)
              [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Few Reasons for
               Doubting the Inspiration of the Bible"]
%
"It has been contended for many years that the Ten Commandments are the
 foundations of all ideas of justice and law. ...Nothing can be more stupidly
 false than such assertions. Thousands of years before Moses was born, the
 Egyptians had a code of laws. ...far better than the Mosaic."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses"]
%
"One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels", 1881
        also from Speech, New York City, 1 May 1881]
%
"In nature there are neither rewards nor
 punishments; there are consequences."
     [Robert Ingersoll, "Some
      Reasons Why", 1881]
%
"In all ages hypocrites, called priests, have put
 crowns upon the heads of thieves, called kings."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873]
%
"For many centuries the sword and cross were allies.  Together
 they attacked the rights of man.  They defended each other."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Voltaire", 1894, Sec. I]
%
"As long as woman regards the Bible as the charter of her rights, she
 will be the slave of man.  The bible was not written by a woman. Within
 its leaves there is nothing but humiliation and shame for her."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", 1877]
%
"You have no right to erect your toll-gate upon the highways of thought."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877]
%
"The infidels of one age have been the aureoled saints of the next.
 The destroyers of the old are the creators of the new."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels", 1881]
%
"The history of intellectual progress is written in the lives of infidels."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidels", 1881
           also from Speech, New York City, 1 May 1881]
%
"It is a blessed thing that in every age some one has had individuality enough
 and courage enough to stand by his own convictions. I believe it was Magellan
 who said, "The church says the earth is flat; but I have seen its shadow on
 the moon, and I have more confidence even in a shadow than in the Church."
 On the prow of his ship were disobedience, defiance, scorn, and success."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873,
              quoted in _The Great Quotations_]
%
"I would rather live with the woman I love in a world full
 of trouble, than to live in heaven with nobody but men."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty
         of Man, Woman and Child", 1877]
%
"A believer is a bird in a cage, a free-thinker is
 an eagle parting the clouds with tireless wing."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873]
%
"In 1776 our fathers endeavored to retire the gods from politics.  They
 declared that "all governments derive their just powers from the consent
 of the governed."  This was a contradiction of the then political ideas
 of the world; it was, as many believed, an act of pure blasphemy -- a
 renunciation of the Deity. ...It was a notice to all churches and priests
 that thereafter mankind would govern and protect themselves.  Politically
 it tore down every altar and denied the authority of every "sacred book"
 and appealed from the Providence of God to the Providence of man."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "God in the Constitution", originally
        published in _The Arena_ in Boston in January 1890.  Taken
        from _The New Dresden Edition of the Works of Ingersoll_
        New York City: The Ingersoll Publishers, Inc., 1900]
%
"If all the historic books of the Bible were blotted from the memory
 of mankind, nothing of value would be lost...I do not see how it is
 possible for an intelligent human being to conclude that the Song of
 Solomon is the work of God, and that the tragedy of Lear was the
 work of an uninspired man."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why Am I An Agnostic?", 1889]
%
"Our ignorance is God; what we know is science."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"Infidelity is liberty; all religion is slavery."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Thomas Paine", 1870]
%
"I will not attack your doctrines nor your creeds if they accord liberty to me.
 If they hold thought to be dangerous - if they aver that doubt is a crime,
 then I attack them one and all, because they enslave the minds of men."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877]
%
"I believe in the religion of reason -- the gospel of this world; in the
 development of the mind, in the accumulation of intellectual wealth, to
 the end that man may free himself from superstitious fear, to the end that
 he may take advantage of the forces of nature to feed and clothe the world."
          [Robert Ingersoll, "Why Am I An Agnostic?", 1896]
%
"To love justice, to long for the right, to love mercy, to pity the suffering,
 to assist weak, to forget wrongs and remember benefits. -- to love the truth,
 to be sincere, to utter honest words, to love liberty, to wage relentless war
 against slavery in all its forms, to love wife and child and friend, to make
 a happy home, to love the beautiful in art, in nature, to cultivate the mind,
 to be familiar with the mighty thoughts that genius has expressed, the noble
 deeds of all the world, to cultivate courage and cheerfulness, to make others
 happy, to fill life with the splendor of generous acts, the warmth of loving
 words, to discard error, to destroy prejudice, to receive new truths with
 gladness, to cultivate hope, to see the calm beyond the storm, the dawn
 beyond the night, to do the best that can be done and then to be resigned
 -- this is the religion of reason, the creed of science. This satisfies the
 brain and heart."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Foundations of Faith",
            1895, Section VIII, "Conclusion"]
%
"When I became convinced that the Universe is natural-that all the ghosts
 and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every
 drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom.  The walls
 of my prison crumbled and fell, the dungeon was flooded with light and
 all the bolts, and bars, and manacles became dust. I was no longer a
 servant, a serf, or a slave. There was for me no master in all the wide
 world-not even in infinite space. I was free.
 -free to think, to express my thoughts
 -free to live to my own ideal
 -free to live for myself and those I loved
 -free to use all my faculties, all my senses
 -free to spread imagination's wings
 -free to investigate, to guess and dream and hope
 -free to judge and determine for myself
 -free to reject all ignorant and cruel creeds, all the "inspired" books
  that savages have produced, and all the barbarous legends of the past
 -free from popes and priests
 -free from all the "called" and "set apart"
 -free from sanctified mistakes and holy lies
 -free from the fear of eternal pain
 -free from the winged monsters of night
 -free from devils, ghosts, and gods
   For the first time I was free. There were no prohibited places in all
 the realms of my thought-no air, no space, where fancy could not spread
 her painted wings
 -no chains for my limbs
 -no lashes for my back
 -no fires for my flesh
 -no master's frown or threat
 -no following another's steps
 -no need to bow, or cringe, or crawl, or utter lying words.
   I was free. I stood erect and fearlessly, joyously, faced all worlds.
 And then my heart was filled with gratitude, with thankfulness, and
 went out in love to all the heroes, the thinkers who gave their lives
 for the liberty of hand and brain
 -for the freedom of labor and thought
 -to those who fell on the fierce fields of war, to those who died in
  dungeons bound with chains
 -to those who proudly mounted scaffold's stairs
 -to those whose bones were crushed, whose flesh was scarred and torn
 -to those by fire consumed
 -to all the wise, the good, the brave of every land, whose thoughts and
  deeds have given freedom to the sons of men.
   And I vowed to grasp the torch that they had held, and hold it high,
 that light might conquer darkness still."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899), "Why Am I An Agnostic?", 1896]
%
"The first great step towards progress, is, for man to cease
 to be the slave of man; the second, to cease to be the slave
 of the monsters of his own creation."
          [Robert Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877]
%
"No man with any sense of humor ever founded a religion."
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What
          Must We Do To Be Saved", 1880]
%
"The clergy know that I know that they know that they do not know."
            [Robert Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884]
%
"Belief is not a voluntary thing.  A man believes or disbelieves
 in spite of himself.  They tell us that to believe is the safe
 way; but I say, the safe way is to be honest."
  [Robert Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why I Am a Freethinker", 1881]
%
"The church never doubts -- never inquires. To doubt is heresy -- to
 inquire is to admit that you do not know -- the church does neither."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Thomas Paine", 1870]
%
"A miracle is the badge and brand of fraud. ... No intelligent,
 honest man ever pretended to perform a miracle, and never will."
     [Robert G. Ingersoll, "About the Holy Bible", 1894]
%
"...in every religion the priest insists on five things --
 First: There is a God.
 Second: He has made known his will.
 Third: He has selected me to explain this message.
 Fourth: We will now take up a collection; and
 Fifth: Those who fail to subscribe will certainly be damned."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Has Freethought a Constructive
     Side?", printed in The Truth Seeker, New York 1890]
%
"Commerce makes friends, religion makes enemies; the one enriches,
 and the other impoverishes; the one thrives best where the truth
 is told, the other where falsehoods are believed."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, "A Wooden God", letter to the
     Chicago Times, written at Washington, D.C., March 27, 1890]
%
"Intelligence is the only moral guide."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Would You
   Substitute For the Bible as a Moral Guide?"]
%
"Ignorance is the soil of the supernatural. The foundation of
 Christianity has crumbled, has disappeared, and the entire fabric
 must fall. The natural is true. The miraculous is false."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why Am I An Agnostic?"
        Part 2, North American Review, March, 1890]
%
"We have at last ascertained that miracles can be perfectly
 understood; that there is nothing mysterious about them;
 that they are simply transparent falsehoods."
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Divided
          Household of Faith", 1888]
%
"All the professors in all the religious colleges in this
 country rolled into one, would not equal Charles Darwin."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, Fifth
           Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882]
%
"The destroyer of weeds, thistles and thorns is
 a benefactor whether he soweth grain or not."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, motto on the title page
   of "Some Mistakes of Moses", mentioned in
   Interview with Chicago Times, November 14, 1879]
%
"I have noticed all my life that many people think they
 have religion when they are troubled with dyspepsia."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty
        of Man, Woman and Child", 1877]
%
"Should it turn out that I am the worst man in the whole world, the
 story of the flood will remain just as improbable as before, and the
 contradictions of the Pentateuch will still demand an explanation."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes Of Moses", 1879]
%
"To know that the Bible is the literature of a barbarous people, to
 know that it is uninspired, to be certain that the supernatural does
 not and cannot exist -- all this is but the beginning of wisdom."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "How to Edit a Liberal Paper",
       Secular Thought, Toronto, January 8, 1887]
%
"Mental slavery is mental death and every man who has given up
 his intellectual freedom is the living coffin of his dead soul."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873]
%
"Christians tell me that they love their enemies, and yet all I ask is --
 not that they love their enemies, not that they love their friends even,
 but that they treat those who differ from them, with simple fairness.
 We do not wish to be forgiven, but we wish Christians to so act that
 we will not have to forgive them."
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes Of Moses", 1879]
%
"There are others who take the ground that all is natural; that there
 never has been, never will be, never can be any interference from
 without, for the reason that nature embraces all, and that there can
 be no without or beyond."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why Am I An Agnostic?", Part II, 1890]
%
"I admit that reason is a small and feeble flame, a flickering torch by
 stumblers carried in the star-less night, -- blown and flared by passion's
 storm,-- and yet, it is the only light. Extinguish that, and nought remains."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, Field-Ingersoll Debate,
            "A Reply to the Rev. Henry M. Field, D. D., 1887]
%
"Beyond the truths that have been demonstrated is the horizon of the Probable,
 and in the world of the Probable every man has the right to guess for himself.
 Beyond the region of the Probable is the Possible, and beyond the Possible is
 the Impossible, and beyond the Impossible are the religions of this world. My
 idea is this: Any man who acts in view of the Improbable or of the Impossible
 -- that is to say, of the Supernatural -- is a superstitious man. Any man
 who believes that he can add to the happiness of the Infinite, by depriving
 himself of innocent pleasure, is superstitious. Any man who imagines that he
 can make some God happy, by making himself miserable, is superstitious. Any
 one who thinks he can gain happiness in another world, by raising hell with
 his fellow-men in this, is simply superstitious. Any man who believes in a
 Being of infinite wisdom and goodness, and yet believes that that being has
 peopled a world with failures, is superstitious. Any man who believes that
 an infinitely wise and good God would take pains to make a man, intending at
 the time that the man should be eternally damned, is absurdly superstitious.
 In other words, he who believes that there is, or that there can be, any other
 religious duty than to increase the happiness of mankind, in this world, now
 and here, is superstitious."
               [Robert G. Ingersoll, Thirteen Club
                Dinner, New York, December 13, 1886]
%
"Ignorance is the soil in which belief in miracles grows."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Superstition", 1898]
%
"The mechanic, when a wheel refuses to turn, never thinks of dropping
 on his knees and asking the assistance of some divine power. He knows
 there is a reason. He knows that something is too large or too small;
 that there is something wrong with his machine; and he goes to work and
 he makes it larger or smaller, here or there, until the wheel will turn."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", 1877]
%
"I have no confidence in any religion that
 can be demonstrated only to children."
 [Robert G. Ingersoll, Political interview]
%
"Honest investigation is utterly impossible within the pale of any church,
 for the reason, that if you think the church is right you will not
 investigate, and if you think it wrong, the church will investigate you."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873]
%
"What effect will logic have upon a religious gentleman who firmly
 believes that a God of infinite compassion sent two bears to tear
 thirty or forty children in pieces for laughing at a bald-headed prophet?"
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Voltaire", 1894]
%
"Human love is generous and noble. The love of God is selfish,
 because man does not love God for God's sake, but for his own."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Rome or Reason,
            A Reply to Cardinal Manning", 1888]
%
"But honest men do not pretend to know; they are candid and sincere; they
 love the truth; they admit their ignorance, and they say, "We do not know."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Superstition", 1898]
%
"In the search for truth, -- everything in nature seems to hide, -- man needs
 the assistance of all his faculties. All the senses should be awake. Humor
 should carry a torch, Wit should give its sudden light, Candor should hold
 the scales, Reason, the final arbiter, should put his royal stamp on every
 fact, and Memory, with a miser's care, should keep and guard the mental gold."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, Response to Wm. E. Gladstone on
         his letter "Regarding Col. Ingersoll on Christianity;
         Some Remarks on his Reply to Dr. Field", 1888]
%
"Some president wishes to be re-elected, and thereupon speaks about the
 Bible as "the corner-stone of American Liberty." This sentence is a
 mouth large enough to swallow any church, and from that time forward
 the religious people will be citing that remark of the politician to
 substantiate the inspiration of the Scriptures."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Morality and Immorality" interview,
       printed in The News, Detroit, Michigan, January 6, 1884]
%
"Only the very ignorant are perfectly satisfied that they know. To
 the common man the great problems are easy. He has no trouble in
 accounting for the universe. He can tell you the origin and destiny of
 man and the why and wherefore of things. As a rule, he is a believer
 in special providence, and is egotistic enough to suppose that
 everything that happens in the universe happens in reference to him."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Liberty In Literature", 1890]
%
"I admit that I do not know whether there is any infinite personality or not,
 because I do not know that my mind is an absolute standard. But according to
 my mind, there is no such personality; and according to my mind, it is an
 infinite absurdity to suppose that there is such an infinite personality. But
 I do know something of human nature; I do know a little of the history of
 mankind; and I know enough to know that what is known as the Christian faith,
 is not true. I am perfectly satisfied, beyond all doubt and beyond all
 peradventure, that all miracles are falsehoods. I know as well as I know that
 I live -- that others live -- that what you call your faith, is not true."
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, unfinished article, reply to Rev.
          Lyman Abbott's article "Flaws in Ingersollism" printed
          in the North American Review, April 1890]
%
"In the history of our poor world, no horror has been omitted, no
 infamy has been left undone by the believers in ghosts, -- by the
 worshipers of these fleshless phantoms. And yet these shadows were
 born of cowardice and malignity. They were painted by the pencil of
 fear upon the canvas of ignorance by that artist called superstition."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877]
%
"Nothing is greater than to break the chains from the bodies of
 men -- nothing nobler than to destroy the phantom of the soul."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Abraham Lincoln", 1894]
%
"I believe it is, as it always has been, easier to kill
 two infidels than to answer one."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, "An Interview on Chief
     Justice Comegys", Brooklyn Eagle, 1881]
%
"Fear paralyzes the brain. Progress is born of courage. Fear believes --
 courage doubts. Fear falls upon the earth and prays -- courage stands
 erect and thinks. Fear retreats -- courage advances. Fear is barbarism
 -- courage is civilization. Fear believes in witchcraft, in devils and
 in ghosts. Fear is religion -- courage is science."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Ghosts", 1877]
%
"Through all the years, those who plowed divided with those who prayed.
 Wicked industry supported pious idleness, the hut gave to the cathedral,
 and frightened poverty gave even its rags to buy a robe for hypocrisy."
     [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved?", 1880]
%
"It may be that ministers really think that their prayers do good and
 it may be that frogs imagine that their croaking brings spring."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Which Way?", 1884]
%
"The inventor of a good soup did more for his race than the maker of
 any creed. The doctrines of total depravity and endless punishment
 were born of bad cooking and dyspepsia."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "About Farming in Illinois", 1877]
%
"If there is a God, there should be no slaves."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty
     of Man, Woman and Child", 1877]
%
"An infinite personality is an infinite impossibility."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881]
%
"I do not know what takes place in the invisible world called the brain,
 inhabited by the invisible something we call the mind. All that takes
 place there is invisible and soundless. This mind, hidden in this brain,
 masked by flesh, remains forever unseen, and the only evidence we can
 possibly have as to what occurs in that world, we obtain from the actions
 of the man, of the woman. By these actions we judge of the character, of
 the soul. So I make up my mind as to whether a man is good or bad, not
 by his theories, but by his actions."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, Reply to Rev. J. M. King & Rev. Thomas Dixon,
     printed in the Evening Telegraph, regarding their response to his
     "Christmas Sermon" in the Evening Telegram, December 19, 1891]
%
"We do believe that it is better to love men than to fear gods; that it is
 grander and nobler to think and investigate for yourself than to repeat a
 creed. We are satisfied that there can be but little liberty on earth while
 men worship a tyrant in heaven. We do not expect to accomplish everything
 in our day; but we want to do what good we can, and to render all the service
 possible in the holy cause of human progress. We know that doing away with
 gods and supernatural persons and powers is not an end. It is a means to
 an end: the real end being the happiness of man."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"We are satisfied that there can be but little liberty
 on earth while men worship a tyrant in heaven."
     [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"We are continually told that the Bible is the very foundation of modesty
 and morality; while many of its pages are so immodest and immoral that a
 minister, for reading them in the pulpit, would be instantly denounced as
 an unclean wretch. Every woman would leave the church, and if the men
 stayed, it would be for the purpose of chastising the minister."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879]
%
"Why should men in the name of religion try to harmonize the
 contradictions that exist between Nature and a book? Why should
 philosophers be denounced for placing more reliance upon what
 they know than upon what they have been told?"
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879]
%
"Is there an intelligent man or woman now in the world who believes in
 the Garden of Eden story? If you find any man who believes it, strike
 his forehead and you will hear an echo. Something is for rent."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884]
%
"I read the other day an account of a meeting between John Knox and John
 Calvin. Imagine a dialogue between a pestilence and a famine! Imagine a
 conversation between a block and an ax! As I read their conversation it
 seemed to me as though John Knox and John Calvin were made for each other;
 that they fitted each other like the upper and lower jaws of a wild beast.
 They believed happiness was a crime; they looked upon laughter as blasphemy;
 and they did all they could to destroy every human feeling, and to fill the
 mind with the infinite gloom of predestination and eternal death. They taught
 the doctrine that God had a right to damn us because he made us. That is
 just the reason that he has not a right to damn us. There is some dust.
 Unconscious dust! What right has God to change that unconscious dust into a
 human being, when he knows that human being will sin; when he knows that
 human being will suffer eternal agony? Why not leave him in the unconscious
 dust? What right has an infinite God to add to the sum of human agony?"
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved", 1880]
%
"I have kindness and candor enough to say that
 Calvin and Edwards were both insane."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why I Am An Agnostic", 1896]
%
"The churches have no confidence in each other. Why?
 Because they are acquainted with each other."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, Sixth
       Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882]
%
"Not one of the learned gentlemen who pretend that the Mosaic laws
 are filled with justice and intelligence, would live, for a moment,
 in any country where such laws were in force."
     [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879]
%
"The church persecutes the living and her
 God burns, for all eternity, the dead."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll,
     "Heretics and Heresies", 1874]
%
"And we are called upon to worship such a God; to get upon our knees and tell
 him that he is good, that he is merciful, that he is just, that he is love.
 We are asked to stifle every noble sentiment of the soul, and to trample
 under foot all the sweet charities of the heart. Because we refuse to stultify
 ourselves -- refuse to become liars -- we are denounced, hated, traduced and
 ostracized here, and this same god threatens to torment us in eternal fire
 the moment death allows him to fiercely clutch our naked helpless souls.
 Let the people hate, let the God threaten -- we will educate them, and we
 will despise and defy him."
               [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"If there is a God who will damn his children forever, I would rather go to
 hell than to go to heaven and keep the society of such an infamous tyrant.
 I make my choice now. I despise that doctrine. It has covered the cheeks of
 this world with tears. It has polluted the hearts of children, and poisoned
 the imaginations of men. It has been a constant pain, a perpetual terror to
 every good man and woman and child. It has filled the good with horror and
 with fear; but it has had no effect upon the infamous and base. It has wrung
 the hearts of the tender, it has furrowed the cheeks of the good. This
 doctrine never should be preached again. What right have you, sir, Mr.
 clergyman, you, minister of the gospel to stand at the portals of the tomb,
 at the vestibule of eternity, and fill the future with horror and with fear?
 I do not believe this doctrine, neither do you. If you did, you could not
 sleep one moment. Any man who believes it, and has within his breast a decent,
 throbbing heart, will go insane. A man who believes that doctrine and does
 not go insane has the heart of a snake and the conscience of a hyena."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", 1877]
%
"A devout clergyman sought every opportunity to impress upon the mind of his
 son the fact, that god takes care of all his creatures.  Happening, one day,
 to see a crane wading in quest of food, the good man pointed out to his son
 the perfect adaptation of the crane to get his living in that manner. "See,"
 said he, "how his legs are formed for wading! What a long slender bill he
 has!  Observe how nicely he folds his feet when putting them in or drawing
 them out of the water! He does not cause the slightest ripple. He is thus
 enabled to approach the fish without giving them any notice of his arrival."
 "My son," said he, "it is impossible to look at that bird without recognizing
 the design, as well as the goodness of God, in thus providing the means of
 subsistence." "Yes," replied the boy, "I think I see the goodness of God, at
 least so far as the crane is concerned; but after all, father, don't you
 think the arrangement a little tough on the fish?"
             [Robert Green Ingersoll, "The Gods", 1872]
%
"On every hand there seems to be design to defeat design. If God created
 man -- if he is the father of us all, why did he make the criminals, the
 insane, the deformed and idiotic?  Should the mother, who clasps to her
 breast an idiot child, thank God?"
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why I Am An Agnostic", 1896]
%
"I am told that I am in danger of hell; that for me to express my honest
 convictions is to excite the wrath of God. They inform me that unless
 I believe in a certain way, meaning their way, I am in danger of
 everlasting fire.

 There was a time when these threats whitened the faces of men with fear.
 That time has substantially passed away. For a hundred years hell has been
 gradually growing cool, the flames have been slowly dying out, the brimstone
 is nearly exhausted, the fires have been burning lower and lower, and the
 climate gradually changing. To such an extent has the change already been
 effected that if I were going there to-night I would take an overcoat and
 a box of matches.

 They say that the eternal future of man depends upon his belief. I deny it.
 A conclusion honestly arrived at by the brain cannot possibly be a crime; and
 the man who says it is, does not think so. The god who punishes it as a crime
 is simply an infamous tyrant. As for me, l would a thousand times rather go
 to perdition and suffer its torments with the brave, grand thinkers of the
 world, than go to heaven and keep the company of a god who would damn his
 children for an honest belief."
     [Robert G. Ingersoll, "My Reviewers Reviews", lecture in San
      Francisco, June 27, 1877, reply to attacks by clergymen for his
      lectures "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child", and "The Ghosts"]
%
"Is it a small thing to quench the flames of hell with the holy tears of
 pity -- to unbind the martyr from the stake -- break all the chains --
 put out the fires of civil war -- stay the sword of the fanatic, and tear
 the bloody hands of the Church from the white throat of Science?

 Is it a small thing to make men truly free -- to destroy the dogmas of
 ignorance, prejudice and power -- the poisoned fables of superstition,
 and drive from the beautiful face of the earth the fiend of fear?"
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Thomas Paine", 1870]
%
"Confronted with the universe, with fields of space sown thick with stars,
 with all there is of life, the wise man, being asked the origin and destiny
 of all, replies: "I do not know. These questions are beyond the powers
 of my mind." The wise man is thoughtful and modest. He clings to facts.
 Beyond his intellectual horizon he does not pretend to see. He does not
 mistake hope for evidence or desire for demonstration. He is honest. He
 neither deceives himself nor others."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Foundations of Faith", 1895]
%
"To exempt the church from taxation, is to pay part of the priest's salary."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, Interview in The Truth Seeker,
           New York, September 5, 1885. Quoted by Joseph Lewis
           in "Franklin the Freethinker"]
%
"No human being has imagination enough to conceive of this infinite horror.

 All that the human race has suffered in war and want, in pestilence and
 famine, in fire and flood -- all the pangs and pains of every disease and
 every death -- all of this is nothing compared with the agonies to be
 endured by one lost soul.

 This is the consolation of the Christian religion. This is the justice
 of God -- the mercy of Christ.

 This frightful dogma, this infinite lie, made me the implacable enemy of
 Christianity. The truth is that this belief in eternal pain has been the real
 persecutor. It founded the Inquisition, forged the chains, and furnished the
 fagots. It has darkened the lives of many millions. It made the cradle as
 terrible as the coffin. It enslaved nations and shed the blood of countless
 thousands. It sacrificed the wisest, the bravest and the best. It subverted
 the idea of justice, drove mercy from the heart, changed men to fiends and
 banished reason from the brain.

 Like a venomous serpent it crawls and coils and hisses in every orthodox
 creed.

 It makes man an eternal victim and God an eternal fiend. It is the one
 infinite horror. Every church in which it is taught is a public curse. Every
 preacher who teaches it is an enemy of mankind. Below this Christian dogma,
 savagery cannot go. It is the infinite of malice, hatred, and revenge.

 Nothing could add to the horror of hell, except the presence of its
 creator, God.

 While I have life, as long as I draw breath, I shall deny with all my
 strength, and hate with every drop of my blood, this infinite lie."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why I Am An Agnostic", 1896]
%
"Christianity teaches that all offences can be forgiven. Every church
 unconsciously allows people to commit crimes on credit. On the other hand,
 what is called infidelity says: There is no being in the universe who rewards,
 and there is no being who punishes -- every act has its consequences. If the
 act is good, the consequences are good; if the act is bad, the consequences
 are bad; and these consequences must be borne by the actor. It says to every
 human being: You must reap what you sow. There is no reward, there is no
 punishment, but there are consequences, and these consequences are the
 invisible and implacable police of nature. They cannot be avoided. They
 cannot be bribed. No power can awe them, and there is not gold enough in the
 world to make them pause. Even a God cannot induce them to release for one
 instant their victim.

 This great truth is, in my judgment, the gospel of morality. If all men knew
 that they must inevitably bear the consequences of their own actions -- if
 they absolutely knew that they could not injure another without injuring
 themselves, the world, in my judgment, would be far better than it is."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, January 9, 1891, answering
            the critics of his "Christmas Sermon" printed
            in the Evening  Telegraph on December 19, 1891]
%
"Can a good man mock at the children of deformity? Will he deride the
 misshapen? Your Jehovah deformed some of his own children, and then held
 them up to scorn and hatred. These divine mistakes -- these blunders of the
 infinite -- were not allowed to enter the temple erected in honor of him who
 had dishonored them. Does a kind father mock his deformed child?  What would
 you think of a mother who would deride and taunt her misshapen babe?"
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, Response to Wm. E. Gladstone on
         his letter "Regarding Col. Ingersoll on Christianity;
         Some Remarks on his Reply to Dr. Field", 1888]
%
"Failure seems to be the trademark of Nature. Why? Nature has no design, no
 intelligence. Nature produces without purpose, sustains without intention
 and destroys without thought. Man has a little intelligence, and he should
 use it. Intelligence is the only lever capable of raising mankind."
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Is Religion?", his last
          public address, delivered before the American Free
          Religious association, Boston, June 2, 1899]
%
"When a professor in a college finds a fact, he should make it
 known, even if it is inconsistent with something Moses said."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879]
%
"Science has nothing in common with religion. Facts and miracles never did,
 and never will agree. They are not in the least related. They are deadly
 foes. What has religion to do with facts? Nothing. Can there be Methodist
 mathematics, Catholic astronomy, Presbyterian geology, Baptist biology, or
 Episcopal botany? Why, then, should a sectarian college exist? Only that which
 somebody knows should be taught in our schools. We should not collect taxes
 to pay people for guessing. The common school is the bread of life for the
 people, and it should not be touched by the withering hand of superstition."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879]
%
"Why should a woman ask pardon of God for having been a mother? Why should
 that be considered a crime in Exodus, which is commanded as a duty in
 Genesis? Why should a mother be declared unclean? Why should giving birth
 to a daughter be regarded twice as criminal as giving birth to a son? Can
 we believe that such laws and ceremonies were made and instituted by a
 merciful and intelligent God? If there is anything in this poor world
 suggestive of, and standing for, all that is sweet, loving and pure, it
 is a mother holding in her thrilled and happy arms her prattling babe."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879]
%
"Only the other day a gentleman was telling me of a case of special providence.
 He knew it. He had been the subject of it. A few years ago he was about to go
 on a ship when he was detained. He did not go, and the ship was lost with all
 on board. "Yes!" I said, "Do you think the people who were drowned believed
 in special providence?" Think of the infinite egotism of such a doctrine.
 Here is a man that fails to go upon a ship with five hundred passengers and
 they go down to the bottom of the sea -- fathers, mothers, children, and
 loving husbands and wives waiting upon the shores of expectation. Here is one
 poor little wretch that did not happen to go! And he thinks that God, the
 Infinite Being, interfered in his poor little withered behalf and let the
 rest all go. That is special providence. Why does special providence allow
 all the crimes? Why are the wife-beaters protected, and why are the wives and
 children left defenceless if the hand of God is over us all? Who protects the
 insane? Why does Providence permit insanity? But the church cannot give up
 special providence. If there is no such thing, then no prayers, no worship,
 no churches, no priests. What would become of National thanksgiving?"
                [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884]
%
"When a man has been "born again", all the passages of the Old Testament
 that appear so horrible and so unjust to one in his natural state, become
 the dearest, the most consoling, and the most beautiful of truths. The
 real Christian reads the accounts of these ancient battles with the
 greatest possible satisfaction. To one who really loves his enemies,
 the groans of men, the shrieks of women, and the cries of babes, make
 music sweeter than the zephyr's breath."
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Talmadgian Catechism", 1882]
%
"Who can over estimate the progress of the world if all the money wasted in
 superstition could be used to enlighten, elevate and civilize mankind?"
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879]
%
"How long, O how long will mankind worship a book? How long will they grovel
 in the dust before the ignorant legends of the barbaric past?  How long,
 O how long will they pursue phantoms in a darkness deeper than death?"
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies", 1874]
%
"How touching when the learned and wise crawl back in cribs and ask to
 hear the rhymes and fables once again! How charming in these hard and
 scientific times to see old age in Superstition's lap, with eager lips
 upon her withered breast!"
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion"
            Part III, The Ingersoll - Black Debate, 1881]
%
"I would not for my life destroy one star of human hope, but I want it
 so that when a poor woman rocks the cradle and sings a lullaby to the
 dimpled darling, she will not be compelled to believe that ninety-nine
 chances in a hundred she is raising kindling wood for hell."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "What Must We Do To Be Saved", 1880]
%
"We did not get our freedom from the church. The great truth, that
 all men are by nature free, was never told on Sinai's barren crags,
 nor by the lonely shores of Galilee."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion"
           Part III, The Ingersoll - Black Debate, 1881]
%
"Rome was far better when Pagan than when Catholic. It was better to allow
 gladiators and criminals to fight than to burn honest men. The greatest of
 the Romans denounced the cruelties of the arena. Seneca condemned the combats
 even of wild beasts. He was tender enough to say that "we should have a bond
 of sympathy for all sentient beings, knowing that only the depraved and base
 take pleasure in the sight of blood and suffering." Aurelius compelled the
 gladiators to fight with blunted swords. Roman lawyers declared that all men
 are by nature free and equal. Woman, under Pagan rule in Rome, became as free
 as man. Zeno, long before the birth of Christ, taught that virtue alone
 establishes a difference between men. We know that the Civil Law is the
 foundation of our codes. We know that fragments of Greek and Roman art --
 a few manuscripts saved from Christian destruction, some inventions and
 discoveries of the Moors -- were the seeds of modern civilization.
 Christianity, for a thousand years, taught memory to forget and reason to
 believe. Not one step was taken in advance. Over the manuscripts of
 philosophers and poets, priests with their ignorant tongues thrust out,
 devoutly scrawled the forgeries of faith. For a thousand years the torch of
 progress was extinguished in the blood of Christ, and his disciples, moved
 by ignorant zeal, by insane, cruel creeds, destroyed with flame and sword a
 hundred million of their fellow-men. They made this world a hell. But if
 cathedrals had been universities -- if dungeons of the Inquisition had been
 laboratories -- if Christians had believed in character instead of creed --
 if they had taken from the Bible all the good and thrown away the wicked and
 absurd -- if domes of temples had been observatories -- if priests had been
 philosophers -- if missionaries had taught the useful arts -- if astrology
 had been astronomy -- if the black art had been chemistry -- if superstition
 had been science -- if religion had been humanity -- it would have been a
 heaven filled with love, with liberty and joy."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Christian Religion"
              Part III, The Ingersoll - Black Debate, 1881]
%
"Science is the enemy of fear and credulity. It invites investigation,
 challenges the reason, stimulates inquiry, and welcomes the unbeliever. It
 seeks to give food and shelter, and raiment, education and liberty to the
 human race. It welcomes every fact and every truth. It has furnished a
 foundation of morals, a philosophy for the guidance of man. From all books
 it selects the good, and from all theories, the true. It seeks to civilize
 the human race by the cultivation of the intellect and heart. It refines,
 through art, music and the drama -- giving voice and expression to every
 noble thought. The mysterious does not excite the feeling of worship, but
 the ambition to understand. It does not pray -- it works. It does not answer
 inquiry with the malicious cry of "blasphemy." Its feelings are not hurt by
 contradiction, neither does it ask to be protected by law from the laughter
 of heretics. It has taught man that he cannot walk beyond the horizon -- that
 the questions of origin and destiny cannot be answered -- they an infinite
 personality cannot be comprehended by a finite being, and that the truth of
 any system of religion based on the supernatural cannot by any possibility
 be established -- such a religion not being within the domain of evidence.
 And, above all, it teaches that all our duties are here -- that all our
 obligations are to sentient beings; that intelligence, guided by kindness,
 is the highest possible wisdom; and that "man believes not what he would,
 but what he can."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, Response to Wm. E. Gladstone on
         his letter "Regarding Col. Ingersoll on Christianity;
         Some Remarks on his Reply to Dr. Field", 1888]
%
"Who can estimate the misery that has been caused by this most infamous
 doctrine of eternal punishment? Think of the lives it has blighted -- of
 the tears it has caused -- of the agony it has produced. Think of the
 millions who have been driven to insanity by this most terrible of dogmas.
 This doctrine renders God the basest and most cruel being in the universe.
 Compared with him, the most frightful deities of the most barbarous and
 degraded tribes are miracles of goodness and mercy. There is nothing more
 degrading than to worship such a god. Lower than this the soul can never
 sink. If the doctrine of eternal damnation is true, let me share the fate of
 the unconverted; let me have my portion in hell, rather than in heaven with
 a god infamous enough to inflict eternal misery upon any of the sons of men."
        [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies", 1874]
%
"Religion makes enemies instead of friends. That one word, "religion,"
 covers all the horizon of memory with visions of war, of outrage, of
 persecution, of tyranny, and death. That one word brings to the mind
 every instrument with which man has tortured man. In that one word are
 all the fagots and flames and dungeons of the past, and in that word
 is the infinite and eternal hell of the future."
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why", 1881]
%
"No Devil, no hell. No hell, no atonement.
 No atonement, no preaching, no gospel."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884]
%
"We cannot trample upon their rights, without endangering our own; and no man
 who will take liberty from another, is great enough to enjoy liberty himself."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, Fifth Interview on Rev. Talmadge, 1882]
%
"I beg of you not to pollute the soul of childhood, not to furrow the cheeks
 of mothers, by preaching a creed that should be shrieked in a mad-house. Do
 not make the cradle as terrible as the coffin. Preach, I pray you, the gospel
 of Intellectual Hospitality -- the liberty of thought and speech. Take from
 loving hearts the awful fear. Have mercy on your fellow-men. Do not drive to
 madness the mothers whose tears are falling on the pallid faces of those who
 died in unbelief. Pity the erring, wayward, suffering, weeping world. Do not
 proclaim as "tidings of great joy" that an Infinite Spider is weaving webs
 to catch the souls of men."
            [Robert G. Ingersoll, Field-Ingersoll Debate,
             "A Reply to the Rev. Henry M. Field, D. D., 1887]
%
"I beg, I implore, I beseech you, never to give another dollar to build a
 church in which that lie is preached. Never give another cent to send a
 missionary with his mouth stuffed with that falsehood to a foreign land.
 Why, they say, the heathen will go to heaven, any way, if you let them
 alone. What is the use of sending them to hell by enlightening them? Let
 them alone. The idea of going and telling a man a thing that if he does
 not believe, he will be damned, when the chances are ten to one that he
 will not believe it, is monstrous."
              [Robert G. Ingersoll "Orthodoxy", 1884]
%
"The religion of Jesus Christ, as preached by his church, causes war,
 bloodshed, hatred, and all uncharitableness; and why? Because, they say, a
 certain belief is necessary to salvation. They do not say, if you behave
 yourself you will get there; they do not say, if you pay your debts and love
 your wife and love your children, and are good to your friends, and your
 neighbors, and your country, you will get there; that will do you no good;
 you have got to believe a certain thing. No matter how bad you are, you can
 instantly be forgiven; and no matter how good you are, if you fail to believe
 that which you cannot understand, the moment you get to the day of judgment
 nothing is left but to damn you, and all the angels will shout "hallelujah."
                 [Robert G. Ingersoll "Orthodoxy", 1884]
%
"Over the wild waves of battle rose and fell the banner of Jesus Christ.
 For sixteen hundred years the robes of the church were red with innocent
 blood. The ingenuity of Christians was exhausted in devising punishment
 severe enough to be inflicted upon other Christians who honestly and
 sincerely differed with them upon any point whatever."
         [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies", 1874]
%
"Labor is the only prayer that Nature answers."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Address to the Jury",
   trial of C. B. Reynolds for Blasphemy]
%
"To me, the most obscene word in our language is celibacy."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Liberty in Literature", 1890]
%
"Celibacy is the essence of vulgarity."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Rome or Reason?",
    Reply to Cardinal Manning, 1888]
%
"Twenty years after the death of Luther there were more Catholics
 than when he was born. And twenty years after the death of Voltaire
 there were millions less than when he was born."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, Interview with New York correspondent,
    Chicago Times, May 29, 1881, answering criticism by NY
    ministers in response to his "Great Infidels" lecture]
%
"This century will be called Darwin's century. He was one of the greatest men
 who ever touched this globe. He has explained more of the phenomena of life
 than all of the religious teachers. Write the name of Charles Darwin on the
 one hand and the name of every theologian who ever lived on the other, and
 from that name has come more light to the world than from all of those. His
 doctrine of evolution, his doctrine of the survival of the fittest, his
 doctrine of the origin of species, has removed in every thinking mind the
 last vestige of orthodox Christianity. He has not only stated, but he has
 demonstrated, that the inspired writer knew nothing of this world, nothing
 of the origin of man, nothing of geology, nothing of astronomy, nothing of
 nature; that the Bible is a book written by ignorance -- at the instigation
 of fear. Think of the men who replied to him. Only a few years ago there
 was no person too ignorant to successfully answer Charles Darwin; and the
 more ignorant he was the more cheerfully he undertook the task. He was held
 up to the ridicule, the scorn and contempt of the Christian world, and yet
 when he died, England was proud to put his dust with that of her noblest
 and her grandest. Charles Darwin conquered the intellectual world, and his
 doctrines are now accepted facts."
               [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884]
%
"When I became convinced that the Universe is natural -- that all the ghosts
 and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every
 drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom ... For the
 first time, I was free ... I stood erect and joyously faced all worlds.
 And then my heart was filled with gratitude, with thankfulness, and went
 out in love to all the heroes, the thinkers who gave their lives for the
 liberty of hand and brain ... And then I vowed to grasp the torch that
 they had held, and hold it high, that light might conquer darkness still.
       [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Why I Am An Agnostic", 1896,
        quoted in Joseph Lewis' speech "Ingersoll the Magnificent"]
%
"Every fact is an enemy of the church. Every fact is a heretic.
 Every demonstration is an infidel. Everything that ever really
 happened testifies against the supernatural."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy", 1884]
%
"The man who does not do his own thinking is a slave,
 and is a traitor to himself and to his fellow-men."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Liberty
       of Man, Woman and Child" 1877]
%
"For my part I would not kill my wife, even if commanded
 to do so by the real God of this universe."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879]
%
"I would have all the professors in colleges, all the teachers in schools
 of every kind, including those in Sunday schools, agree that they would
 teach only what they know, that they would not palm off guesses as
 demonstrated truths.
             [Robert G. Ingersoll, Speech at Chicago
              Exposition Building, October 20, 1876]
%
"If there is a God, it is reasonably certain that he made the world, but it
 is by no means certain that he is the author of the Bible. Why then should
 we not place greater confidence in Nature than in a book? And even if this
 God made not only the world but the book besides, it does not follow that
 the book is the best part of creation, and the only part that we will be
 eternally punished for denying. It seems to me that it is quite as important
 to know something of the solar system, something of the physical history of
 this globe, as it is to know the adventures of Jonah or the diet of Ezekiel.
 For my part, I would infinitely prefer to know all the results of scientific
 investigation, than to be inspired as Moses was. Supposing the Bible to be
 true; why is it any worse or more wicked for Freethinkers to deny it, than
 for priests to deny the doctrine of evolution, or the dynamic theory of heat?
 Why should we be damned for laughing at Samson and his foxes, while others,
 holding the Nebular Hypothesis in utter contempt, go straight to heaven? It
 seems to me that a belief in the great truths of science are fully as
 essential to salvation, as the creed of any church. We are taught that a man
 may be perfectly acceptable to God even if he denies the rotundity of the
 earth, the Copernican system, the three laws of Kepler, the indestructibility
 of matter and the attraction of gravitation. And we are also taught that a
 man may be right upon all these questions, and yet, for failing to believe
 in the "scheme of salvation," be eternally lost."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses", 1879]
%
"I want no heaven for which I must give my reason; no happiness in exchange
 for my liberty, and no immortality that demands the surrender of my
 individuality. Better rot in the windowless tomb, to which there is no door
 but the red mouth of the pallid worm, than wear the jeweled collar of a god."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Individuality", 1873]
%
"Science built the Academy, superstition the inquisition."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"I have always noticed that the people who have the smallest
 souls make the most fuss about getting them saved."
              [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"To succeed the theologan invades the cradle. In the minds
 of innocents they plant the seeds of superstition. Save
 children from the pollution of this horror."
             [Robert Ingersoll]
%
"Go around the world, and where you find the least superstition, there
 you will find the best men, the best women, the best children."
                    [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
 "Public prayer is, if nothing else,
  an undignified public performance."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, quoted in "Ingersoll
    the Magnificent" by Joseph Lewis]
%
"Christianity has such a contemptible opinion of human nature that it
 does not believe a man can tell the truth unless frightened by a belief
 in God. No lower opinion of the human race has ever been expressed."
                   [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"A few years ago the Deists denied the inspiration of the Bible on account
 of its cruelty. At the same time they worshiped what they were pleased to
 call the God of Nature. Now we are convinced that Nature is as cruel as the
 Bible; so that, if the God of Nature did not write the Bible, this God at
 least has caused earthquakes and pestilence and famine, and this God has
 allowed millions of his children to destroy one another. So that now we have
 arrived at the question -- not as to whether the Bible is inspired and not
 as to whether Jehovah is the real God, but whether there is a God or not."
                       [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"In the presence of death I affirm and reaffirm the truth of all
 that I have said against the superstitions of the world. I would
 say that much on the subject with my last breath."
                  [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"We have already compared the benefits of theology and science. When the
 theologian governed the world, it was covered with huts and hovels for the
 many, palaces and cathedrals for the few. To nearly all the children of men,
 reading and writing were unknown arts. The poor were clad in rags and skins
 -- they devoured crusts, and gnawed bones. The day of Science dawned, and
 the luxuries of a century ago are the necessities of to-day. Men in the
 middle ranks of life have more of the conveniences and elegancies than the
 princes and kings of the theological times. But above and over all this, is
 the development of mind. There is more of value in the brain of an average
 man of to-day -- of a master-mechanic, of a chemist, of a naturalist, of an
 inventor, than there was in the brain of the world four hundred years ago.

 These blessings did not fall from the skies. These benefits did not drop
 from the outstretched hands of priests. They were not found in cathedrals or
 behind altars -- neither were they searched for with holy candles. They were
 not discovered by the closed eyes of prayer, nor did they come in answer to
 superstitious supplication. They are the children of freedom, the gifts of
 reason, observation and experience -and for them all, man is indebted to man."
                        [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"My objection to Christianity is that it is infinitely cruel,
 infinitely selfish, and, I might add, infinitely absurd."
                 [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"The Bible is not inspired in its morality, for the reason that slavery is
 not moral, that polygamy is not good, that wars of extermination are not
 merciful, and that nothing can be more immoral than to punish the innocent
 on account of the sins of the guilty."
                        [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"The Catholics have a pope. Protestants laugh at them, and yet the Pope
 is capable of intellectual advancement. In addition to this, the Pope is
 mortal, and the church cannot be afflicted with the same idiot forever. The
 Protestants have a book for their Pope. The book cannot advance. Year after
 year, and century after century, the book remains as ignorant as ever."
                        [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"The believers in the Bible are loud in their denunciation of what they are
 pleased to call the immoral literature of the world; and yet few books have
 been published containing more moral filth than this inspired word of God."
                       [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Is it possible that an infinite God created this world simply to be the
 dwelling-place of slaves and serfs? Simply for the purpose of raising
 orthodox Christians? That he did a few miracles to astonish them? That all
 the evils of life are simply his punishments, and that he is finally
 going to turn heaven into a kind of religious museum filled with Baptist
 barnacles, petrified Presbyterians, and Methodist mummies?"
                         [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"The Church has always been willing to swap
 off treasures in heaven for cash down here."
          [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Every minister likes to consider himself as a brave shepherd leading
 the lambs through green pastures and defending them at night from
 Infidel wolves. All this he does for a certain share of the wool."
                   [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Salvation for credulity means damnation for investigation."
                [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"My creed is this:
 Happiness is the only good.
 The place to be happy is here.
 The time to be happy is now.
 The way to be happy is to help make others so."
     [Robert G. Ingersoll, Motto on the
      title page of Vol. xii, Works]
%
"Think of the egotism of a man who believes
 that an infinite being wants his praise!"
        [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Surely investigation is better than unthinking faith.
 Surely reason is a better guide than fear."
     [Robert G. Ingersoll, "The
      Liberty of Man, Woman and Child"]
%
"When we find out that an assertion is a falsehood, a shining truth
 takes its place, and we need not fear the destruction of the false.
 The more false we destroy the more room there will be for the true."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll, "44 Complete Lectures"]
%
"I am not so much for the freedom of religion
 as I am for the religion of freedom."
           [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"The object of the Freethinker is to ascertain the truth-the conditions
 of well being-to the end that his life will be made of value."
     [Robert G. Ingersoll, contribution to The Truth Seeker, 1890]
%
"There may be a God who will make us happy in another world. If he does,
 it will be more than he has accomplished in this. A being who has the
 power to prevent it and yet allows thousands and millions of his children
 to starve, who devours them with earthquakes, who allows whole nations
 to be enslaved, cannot--in my judgment--be implicitly depended upon to
 justice in another world."
                     [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Jehovah was not a moral God. He had all the vices and lacked all
 the virtues.  He generally carried out all his threats, but he
 never faithfully kept a promise."
                  [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"If there is a God who has allowed the children to be oppressed in this world
 he certainly needs another life to reform the blunders he made in this."
                     [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"If only Christians go to heaven and all others go to hell, it
 seems to me that there will be a thousand times more misery in
 the next world than in this."
                [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"God cannot send to eternal pain a man who has done something toward
 improving the condition of his fellow-man. If he can, I had rather
 go to hell than to heaven and keep company with such a god."
                  [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"The doctrine of eternal punishment is the most infamous of all
 doctrines--born of ignorance, cruelty and fear. Around the angel
 of immortality Christianity has coiled the serpent. Upon Love's
 breast the church has placed the eternal asp."
                [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Heresy is what the minority believe; it is the name
 given by the powerful to the doctrines of the weak."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Heretics and Heresies"]
%
"Is there beyond the silent night
       An endless day?
 Is death a door that leads to light?
       We cannot say."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll,
    Declaration of the Free]
%
"If we are immortal, it is a fact of nature, and that fact
 does not depend on bibles, on Christs, priest, or creeds."
              [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"The hope of immortality never came from any religion.
 The hope of immortality has helped to make religion."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"A known infidel cannot get very rich, for the reason that the
 Christians are so forgiving and loving that they boycott him."
                [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Christ said nothing about the Western Hemisphere because he did not know it
 existed. He did not know the shape of the earth. He was not a scientist--
 never even hinted at any science--never told anybody to investigate, to
 think. His idea was that this life should be spent; in preparing for the
 next. For all of the evils of this life, and the next, faith was his remedy."
                    [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"It is said that desire for knowledge lost us the Eden of
 the past; but whether that is true or not, it will
 certainly give us the Eden of the future."
     [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses"]
%
"True religion must be free. Without perfect liberty of mind there can be no
 true religion. Without liberty the brain is a dungeon--the mind a convict."
                     [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"He who endeavors to control the mind by force
 is a tyrant, and he who submits is a slave."
  [Robert G. Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses"]
%
"Nothing can be more infamous than intellectual tyranny. To put chains upon
 the body is nothing compared with putting shackles on the brain. No god is
 entitled to the worship or respect of a man who does not give, even to the
 meanest of his children, every right he claims for himself. If the Pentateuch
 is true, religious persecution is a duty, The dungeons of the Inquisition
 were temples and the clank of every chain upon the limbs of heresy was music
 to the ear of God."
                      [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Do away with miracles, and the superhuman character of Christ
 is destroyed. He Becomes what he really was--a man."
             [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Inspiration is only necessary to give authority to that which
 is repugnant to human reason. Only that which never happened
 needs to be substantiated by miracles."
                [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Happiness is the only good, reason the only torch, justice the only
 worship, humanity the only religion, and love the only priest."
   [Robert G. Ingersoll, Eulogy at the grave of his brother, Eben]
%
"The assassin cannot sanctify his dagger by falling on his knees, and
 it does not help a falsehood if it be uttered as a prayer. Religion,
 used to intensify the hatred of men toward men under the pretense of
 pleasing God, has cursed this world."
                    [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"The country that has got the least religion is the most prosperous,
 and the country that has got most religion is in the worst condition."
      [Robert G. Ingersoll, Speech in Boston, April 23, 1880]
%
"Surely there is grandeur in knowing that in the realm of thought, at least,
 you are without a chain; that you have the right to explore all heights and
 all depths; that there are no walls nor fences, nor prohibited places, nor
 sacred corners in all the vast expanse of thought; that your intellect owes
 no allegiance to any being, human or divine; that you hold all in fee upon
 no condition and by no tenure whatever; that in the world of mind you are
 relieved from all personal dictation, and from the ignorant tyranny of
 majorities. Surely it is worth something to feel that there are no popes,
 no parties, no governments, no kings, no gods, to whom your intellect can
 be compelled to pay a reluctant homage."
                       [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Christ according to the faith, is the second person in the Trinity, the
 Father being the first and the holy Ghost the third. Each of these three
 persons is God. Christ is his own father and his own son. The Holy Ghost is
 neither father nor son, but both. The son was begotten by the father, but
 existed before he was begotten--just the same before as after. Christ is just
 as old as his father, and the father is just as young as his son. The Holy
 Ghost proceeded form the Father and Son, but was an equal to the Father and
 Son before he proceeded, that is to say before he existed, but he is of the
 same age as the other two.  Nothing ever was, nothing ever can be more
 perfectly idiotic and absurd than the dogma of the Trinity."
                     [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Let us remember that those who have sought natures truths have not persecuted
 their neighbors. The astronomers and chemist have forged no chains and built
 no dungeons. The geologist have invented no instruments of torture. The
 philosophers have not demonstrated the truths of their theories by burning
 others. The great infidels, the thinkers have lived for the good of humankind.
 Intellectual liberty is the fresh air of the universe and the sunshine of the
 soul. Without it, the universe is a prison."
                          [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Now they say that this book is inspired. I do not care whether it is or
 not; the question is, Is it true? if it is true, it doesn't need to be
 inspired. Nothing needs inspiration except a falsehood or a mistake."
                  [Robert G. Ingersoll]
%
"Consequently, in the name of God Almighty, by the authority of the
 Apostles Saints Peter and Paul, and by our Own, We reprove and condemn
 this Charter [the Magna Carta]; under pain of anathema We forbid the
 King to observe it or the barons to demand its execution.  We declare
 the Charter null and of no effect, as well as all the obligations
 contracted to confirm it.  It is Our wish that in no case should it
 have any effect."
              [Pope Innocent III (1161-1216)]
%
"Use against heretics the spiritual sword of excommunication,
 and if this does not prove effective, use the material sword."
            [Pope Innocent III (1161-1216)]
%
"Our dear Son (King of France), the Chancellor of Paris, and the Doctors,
 before the clergy and people, publicly burned by fire the aforesaid books
 (The Talmud) with all their appendices. We beg and beseech your Celestial
 Majesty in the Lord Jesus, that, having begun laudably and piously to
 prosecute those who perpetuate these detestable excesses, that you continue
 with due severity. And that you command throughout your whole kingdom that
 the aforesaid books with all their glossaries, already condemned by the
 Doctors, be committed to the flames. Firmly prohibiting Jews From having
 Christians as servants and nurses..."
       [Pope Innocent IV, A.D. 1244, Bull. Rom. Pont., IV, 509]
%
"...ice crystals only grow when an outside agent [God]
 is driving the process against the natural decay process
 described by the second law of thermodynamics."
    [Institute for Creation Research
     http://www.icr.org/pubs/imp/imp-162.htm62.htm]
%
"Truth is, christians are the only ones in
 the world that cannot explain anything"
    ["Internut", christian on IRC]
%
"I tell Christians, If you had two children and one had to be bribed
 (heaven) and threatened (hell) to do what he was supposed to do, and
 the other one just did it because that's what he knew was the right
 thing to do, which would you consider the better person?"
    [Greg Irwin, President of the Humanist Association of Canada]
%
"Would you have mansions of gold in the sky,
 and live in a shack, here in the back?
 Would you have wings up in heaven to fly,
 While you live here with rags on your back?"
   [IWW song, from The Little Red Songbook,
    Songs to fan the flames of discontent]
%
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
      [Holbrook Jackson, quoted in
       "Omni", Aug. 1988, p. 31.]
%
"On the inner walls of the holy of holies in the Temple of Luxor inscribed by
 King Amenhotep III (1538-1501 B.C.) the birth of Horus is pictured in four
 scenes very much like Christian representations of the Annunciation and the
 Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary, and the Birth and Adoration of the
 Christ Child.  These four consecutive scenes, as engraved on the walls of the
 Temple of Luxor, are reproduced in Gerald Massey's Ancient Egypt: The Light
 of the World Vol. II (London: T. Fisher Unwin, 1907) page 757, and may be
 described as follows..."
          [John G. Jackson, "Christianity Before Christ"
           Austin TX: American Atheist Press, 1985 p. 110]
%
"The day that this country ceases to be free for irreligion, it will cease
 to be free for religion--except for the sect that can win political power."
       [Supreme Court Justice Robert Houghwout Jackson, dissenting
        opinion in Zorach v. Clauson (343 US 306 -- 1952)]
%
"If we concede to the State power and wisdom to single out
 'duly constituted religious' bodies as exclusive alternatives
 for compulsory secular instruction, it would be logical to
 also uphold the power and wisdom to choose the true faith among
 those 'duly constituted.'  We start down a rough road when we
 begin to mix compulsory public education with compulsory godliness."
     [Supreme Court Justice Robert Houghwout Jackson, dissenting
      opinion in Zorach v. Clauson (343 US 306 -- 1952)]
%
"If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is
 that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox
 in politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion, or
 force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein."
    [Robert H. Jackson, Supreme Court opinion (West Virginia State
     Board of Education v Barnette, 319 U.S. 624{1943})]
%
"[I]n our country are evangelists and zealots of many different political,
 economic and religious persuasions whose fanatical conviction is that all
 thought is divinely classified into two kinds -- that which is their own
 and that which is false and dangerous."
      [Justice Robert H. Jackson, American Communications Assn.
       v. Douds, 339 U.S. 382, 438; 70 S.Ct. 674, 704 (1950)]
%
"[T]he effect of the religious freedom Amendment to our Constitution was to
 take every form of propagation of religion out of the realm of things
 which could directly or indirectly be made public business, and thereby be
 supported in whole or in part at taxpayers' expense. That is a difference
 which the Constitution sets up between religion and almost every other
 subject matter of legislation, a difference which goes to the very root of
 religious freedom[...] This freedom was first in the Bill of Rights because
 it was first in the forefathers' minds; it was set forth in absolute terms,
 and its strength is its rigidity. It was intended not only to keep the
 states' hands out of religion, but to keep religion's hands off the state,
 and, above all, to keep bitter religious controversy out of public life by
 denying to every denomination any advantage from getting control of public
 policy or the public purse."
     [Justice Robert H. Jackson, in dissent in Everson v. Board of
      Education of Ewing TP., 330 U.S. 1 (1947) at 26, 27.]
%
"[The Establishment Clause and Religious Freedom Clause] of our Federal
 Constitution ha[ve] never been wholly pleasing to most religious groups.
 They are all quick to invoke its protections; they are all irked when they
 feel its restraints. This Court has gone a long way, if not an unreasonable
 way, to hold that public business of paramount importance as maintenance of
 public order, protection of the privacy of a home, and taxation may not be
 pursued by a state in a way that even indirectly will interfere with
 religious proselyting.[...]  But we cannot have it both ways.  Religious
 teaching cannot be a private affair when the state seeks to impose
 regulations which infringe on it indirectly, and a public affair when it
 comes to taxing citizens of one faith to aid another, or those of no faith
 to aid all. If these principles seem harsh in prohibiting aid to Catholic
 education, it must not be forgotten that it is the same Constitution that
 alone assures Catholics the right to maintain these schools at all when
 predominant local sentiment would forbid them. [...] Nor should I think
 that those who have done so well without this aid would want to see this
 separation between Church and State broken down.  If the state may aid
 these religious schools, it may therefore regulate them. Many groups have
 sought aid from tax funds, only to find that it carried political controls
 with it. Indeed, this Court has declared that 'It is hardly lack of due
 process for the Government to regulate that which it subsidizes.'
 Wickard v. Filburn, 317 U.S. 111, 131."
     [Justice Robert H. Jackson, in dissent in Everson v. Board of
      Education of Ewing TP., 330 U.S. 1 (1947) at 27, 28.]
%
"Nothing is more dangerous than the certainty of being right...
 All the massacres were done by virtue, in the name of the true
 faith, of the legitimate nationalism, of the idoneous politics,
 of the just ideology; in short, in the name of the combat
 against other people's truth, the combat against Satan"
                   [Francois Jacob]
%
"The National Government will therefore regard as its first and supreme
 task to restore to the German people unity of mind and will. It will
 preserve and defend the foundations on which the strength of our nation
 rests. It will take under its firm protection Christianity as the basis
 of our morality, and the family as the nucleus of our nation and our State."
     [_Nazism, A History in Documents & Eyewitness Accounts_.
      (Original source listed in the bibliography: Jacobsen and
      Jochmann, Ausgewahlte Dokumente Bd II.)]
%
"Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism."
 [William James (1842-1910) American philosopher and psychologist]
%
"Jeff 3:16
  For God so hated the world that he gave his only bastard son, that
  whosoever believeth in him shall not flourish but have everlasting strife."
                [Jeff Janusch, backslide247@aol.com]
%
"Damn the Solar System.  Bad light; planets too distant; pestered
 with comets; feeble contrivance; could make a better myself."
                [Francis [Lord Jeffery]
%
"In addition I think science has enjoyed an extraordinary success
 because it has such a limited and narrow realm in which to focus its
 efforts.  Namely, the physical universe."
                      [Ken Jenkins]
%
"After the survivor of the Spanish conquest has told his life's story he is
 convicted by the Inquisition:

   "He posted no brief in defense or mitigation of his offenses, and
    when he was most solemnly advised by the Court President of the dire
    consequences he faced if found guilty, Juan Damasceno volunteered
    only one comment:

    'It will mean I do not go to the Christian heaven?'

 He was told that that would indeed be the worst of his punishments:
 that he would most assuredly not go to Heaven. At which, his smile
 sent a thrill of horror through every soul of the Court."
                  ["Aztec", by Gary Jennings]
%
"If it is good not to touch a woman, then it is
 bad to touch a woman always and in every case."
        [St. Jerome, Epistle 48.14]
%
"For the preservation of chastity, an empty and
 rumbling stomach and fevered lungs are indispensable."
         [St. Jerome (340?-420)]
%
"Holy virginity is a better thing than conjugal chastity.... A mother will
 hold a lesser place in the Kingdom of heaven, because she has been married,
 than the daughter, seeing that she is a virgin .... but if thy mother has
 been humble and not proud, she will have some sort of place, but not thou..."
          [Saint Jerome, Roman theologian, Sermon 354]
%
"All riches come from iniquity, and unless one has lost, another cannot
 gain. Hence that common opinion seems to be very true, 'the rich man is
 unjust, or the heir to an unjust one.' Opulence is always the result of
 theft, if not committed by the actual possessor, then by his predecessor."
              [St. Jerome (compare to Karl Marx)]
%
"Though thy father cling to thee, and thy mother rend her
 garments and show thee the breasts thou has sucked, thrust
 them aside with dry eyes to embrace the cross."
         [St. Jerome, Letter to Heliodorus,
          on true Christian "family values"]
%
"I never spared heretics and have always done my utmost so
 that the enemies of the Church should also be my enemies."
               [St. Jerome, 420 AD]
%
"We Catholics may lie and say we are Protestants when we are among the
 Protestants or we may lie when we are among the Huguenots and say we are
 Huguenots; and if we wish we can stoop so low as to say we are Jews when
 we are among the Jews if our lying would benefit the Catholic Church."
             [Jesuit oath from the Congressional Record]
%
"The Roman Catholic church, convinced that it is the only true church,
 must demand the right to freedom for herself alone and the end of
 freedom for all others."
                  [Jesuit publication]
%
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth;
 I came not to send peace, but a sword."
        [Jesus, Matthew 10:34]
%
"But those mine enemies, which would not that I should
 reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me."
        [Jesus, Luke 19:27, as part
         of a self-referential parable]
%
"The belief that the soul continues its existence after the
 dissolution of the body is a matter of philosophical or
 theological speculation rather than of simple faith, and is
 accordingly nowhere expressly taught in Holy Scripture."
    [The Jewish Encyclopedia (1910), Vol. VI, p. 564]
%
"If God lived on earth, people would break his windows."
     [Jewish proverb, quoted in: Claud Cockburn,
      Cockburn Sums Up, epigraph (1981).]
%
"No one has an idea really of where we should draw the line. What about
 the Bible?  Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around.  If
 you're looking for violent rape imagery, the Bible's right there in your
 hotel room. If you just want to look up ways to screw people up, there it
 is, and you're justified because God told you to. You have Shakespeare and
 you have Sophocles--what are we going to do, lose _Oedipus Rex_ if someone
 pokes an eye out?"
              [Penn Jillette, from Reason magazine,
               on censorship of violent TV shows]
%
"You have painted a world of people who are Christian because they are
 weak-willed puppets, desperate for whatever will give them a sense of
 purpose and security, who fear nothing more than a stable individual."
                      [Jim in Boulder]
%
"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints -
 The sinners are much more fun."
      [Billy Joel, from "Only the Good Die Young"]
%
                     "About half."
[Pope John XXIII, when asked how many people work in the Vatican,
 from Gordon Thomas & Max Morgan-Witts, "Pontiff", p. 337]
%
"It can therefore be said that, from the viewpoint of the doctrine of
 the faith, there are no difficulites in explaining the origin of man,
 in regard to the body, by means of the theory of evolution."
               [Pope John Paul II, April 16, 1986]
%
"Adultery is in your heart not only when you look with
 excessive sexual zeal at a woman who is not your wife,
 but also if you look in the same manner at your wife."
             [Pope John Paul II]
%
"She spoke to him about the approximately 200,000 women who die every
 year from self-induced abortions--a major health issue: "Religious
 leaders--and all of us, really--must address this very important issue."

"Don't you think," John Paul II interjected, "that all irresponsible
 behavior of men is cause by women?"
    [Pope John Paul II to Nafis Sadik, UN Representative, at the UN
     Council for Women, from  _His Holiness: John Paul II and the
     Hidden History of Our Time_, by Carl Bernstein and Marco Politi]
%
"Human beings cannot be morally responsible to God. If we blame a person for
 an evil act, we thereby imply that he was to some extent evil prior to his
 action. For to say that a person is responsible for an evil action is to say
 he caused it because he was evil. But how did he become evil? It he made
 himself evil, then this would be an evil act and would--if he were responsible
 for it--imply that he was already evil. It follows that the evil of a person
 must precede the act of making himself evil. Therefore this individual cannot
 ultimately be the responsible source of his own evil. Then who is? It cannot
 be Satan, for the same argument would apply to him. It must be God, for he
 created everything. Therefore God is ultimately responsible for all evil."
           [B. C. Johnson, "The Atheist Debater's Handbook"]
%
"It is sometimes argued that we have a fifty-fifty betting proposition when
 considering God's existence or nonexistence. If we bet that God exists and
 he does exist, then we lose nothing while possibly gaining salvation. If we
 bet that God exist and he does not exist, then we lose nothing. But if we
 bet that God does not exist and he does exist, then we lose everything. Of
 course, if we bet that God does not exist and we are correct, then we lose
 nothing. Therefore it is prudent to bet on God. (This is Pascal`s Wager).
    The problem with the above argument is that it does not establish a
 fifty-fifty betting proposition. There are many alternatives that it fails
 to consider. For example, God may exist but he may damn anyone who "bets" on
 his existence merely for reasons of prudence. He may consider such a "bet"
 to be an insult. Furthermore, it may be that a mere belief in God is not
 enough to ensure salvation. A further requirement may be the belief in a
 particular religion. But which religion? Again, there are many alternatives.
 Another possible alternative is that God offers salvation only to atheist
 because God does not like being surrounded by obsequious "yes-men." God may
 prize independence and skepticism."
           [B. C. Johnson, "The Atheist Debater's Handbook"]
%
"What excellent fools
 religion makes of men!"
    [Ben Johnson]
%
"Praying in churches hasn't improved society
 and praying in schools won't either."
           [Ellen Johnson]
%
"I believe in honesty and truthfulness, not because I fear a god or a devil,
 but because I think it is the best way for people to live together. I believe
 in helping others because when we cooperate with our neighbors we make life
 easier for all. I believe in treating others as I want to be treated - but I
 certainly do not believe in turning the other cheek and the truth is I never
 knew any Christians who did either."
                     [James Hervey Johnson]
%
"It's critical to our national health and survival to restore social virtue
 and purity to our state and nation," Johnson said. "Is living together without
 the benefit of marriage good? Is homosexuality good? If cohabitating and
 homosexual behavior is detrimental to the individual and to society, besides
 breaking the law, then society has the responsibility to resist it."
      [Arizona State Rep. Karen Johnson, a Mormon fundamentalist who
       has been married 5 times, in Arizona Republic, Feb. 4, 1999]
%
"One of my favorite fantasies is that next Sunday not one woman, in any
 country of the world, will go to church. If women simply stop giving our
 time and energy to the institutions that oppress, they cease to be."
                    [Sonia Johnson]
%
"The one reason why we've always had an open Bible in every
 room in the Holiday Inn motels is to help people find Jesus
 and the solution to their problems, no matter who they are."
        [Wallace Johnson, co-founder of Holiday Inns,
         on the use of his business to proselytize]
%
"It can be shown that for any nutty theory, beyond-the-fringe
 political view or strange religion there exists a proponent on
 the Net. The proof is left as an exercise for your kill-file."
                    [Bertil Jonell]
%
"I would rather see a saloon on every corner than a Catholic in
 the White House.  I would rather see a nigger as president."
      [Bob Jones, Sr., founder of Bob Jones University]
%
"Blacks aren't attracted to fundamentalism, and they don't like discipline."
            [Bob Jones, Jr., founder of Bob Jones University]
%
"The Bible itself is intolerant, and true followers
 of God's word should be as well."
                [Bob Jones III]
%
"My guess is that he has forgotten.  After all he is 2,000 years old and
 is probably suffering from advanced Alzheimer's disease -- staggering
 around pissing in his toga, exposing himself to the little teeny-bopper
 angels. The old man should pull the plug."
             [Earle D. Jones, on Jesus and the rapture]
%
"The rights of the people to be free to exercise their religious
 and philosophical beliefs" includes *by necessity* the right to abstain
 from the practise of any religious and philosophical beliefs. This right
 cannot be guaranteed in any environment wherein a practice of this type
 is enacted in a state funded context -- like a classroom -- and the
 participation is all but complusory for those present in that they must
 experience another's religious practice on their time and against their
 will. School ground is not the issue. School TIME *is*. At that point, it
 becomes STATE time, which makes it STATE religion. Say hello to theocracy."
      [Timothy Jones <timelord@u.washington.edu>, on alt.atheism]
%
"I saw Christ last night and he looked like shit. Well that
 is not suprising since he's been dead for about 2000 years."
                  [William Jones]
%
"'Twas only fear first in the world made gods."
    [Ben Jonson (1572?-1637), Sejanus]
%
"I'm counting on you lord, please don't let me down
 Prove that you love me and buy the next round"
      [Janis Joplin, "Mercedes Benz"]
%
"When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion;
 but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!"
     [David Starr Jordan, Cardiff,
      What Great Men Think of Religion]
%
"That one man or ten thousand or ten million men find a
 dogma acceptable does not argue for its soundness."
      [David Starr Jordan, quoted in Cardiff,
       "What Great Men Think of Religion"]
%
"Theologians consider that it was the sin of pride, the sinful
 thought conceived in an instant: non serviam: I will not serve.
 That instant was his [Lucifer's] ruin."
    [James Joyce,_A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man_]
%
"The idea of an incarnation of God is absurd: why should the human race
 think itself so superior to bees, ants, and elephants as to be put in
 this unique relation to its maker? . . Christians are like a council
 of frogs in a marsh or a synod of worms on a dung-hill croaking and
 squeaking "for our sakes was the world created."
                    [Julian The Apostate]
%
"Such things have often happened and still happen,
 and how can these be signs of the end of the world?"
     [Julian, Emperor of Rome 361-363 A.D.]
%
"No wild beasts are as hostile to men as
 Christian sects in general are to one another."
   [Julian, Emperor of Rome 361-363 A.D.]
%
"Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D.  He was a
 pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city
 until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian .... To him is
 ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia absurdum est (I believe
 because it is absurd).  This does not altogether accord with historical
 fact, for he merely said:

   "And the Son of God died, which is immediately credible because
    it is absurd.  And buried he rose again, which is certain
    because it is impossible."

 Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of
 philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it."
           [C. G. Jung, in Psychological Types.  Tertullian
            was one of the founders of the Catholic Church]
%
"Religious Philosophy is an oxymoron-
 a philosopher of religion is ONLY a moron"
           [Kamian]
%
"NO proof. NO god. NO problem."
         [Kamian]
%
"If I were to mock religious belief as childish, if I were to suggest that
 worshiping a supernatual deity, convinced that it cares about your welfare,
 is like worrying about monsters in the closet who find you tasty enough to
 eat, if I were to describe God as our creation..... I'd violate the norms
 of civility and religious correctness, I'd be excoriated as an example of
 the cynical, liberal elite responsible for America's moral decline. I'd be
 pitied for my spiritual blindness; some people would try to enlighten and
 convert me.  I'd receive hate mail.  Atheists generate about as much
 sympathy as pedophiles.  But, while pedophilia may at least be characterized
 as a disease, atheism is a choice, a willful rejection of beliefs to which
 vast majorities of people cling."
               [Wendy Kaminer, "The Last Taboo", in
                The New Republic (Oct. 14, 1996)]
%
"In this climate -- with belief in guardian angels and creationism becoming
 commonplace -- making fun of religion is as risky as burning a flag in an
 American Legion hall.  But, by admitting that they're fighting a winning
 battle, advocates of renewed religiosity would lose the benefits of
 appearing besieged.  Like liberal rights organizations that attract more
 money when conservative authoritarians are in power, religious groups
 inspire more believers when secularism is said to hold sway."
               [Wendy Kaminer, "The Last Taboo", in
                The New Republic (Oct. 14, 1996)]
%
"People who believe that god exists and heeds their prayers
 have probably waived the right to mock people who talk to
 trees or claim to channel the spirits of Native Americans."
                  [Wendy Kaminer]
%
"I suspect that media elites offer virtually no analysis of the religious
 impulse or majoritarian religious beliefs mainly because they fear appearing
 impious or giving offense. ...What's striking about journalists and
 intellectuals today, liberal and conservative alike, is not their mythic
 Voltairian skepticism but their deference to belief and utter failure to
 criticize, much less satirize, America's romance with God."
         [Wendy Kaminer, "Sleeping with Extra-Terrestrials:
          The Rise of Irrationalism and Perils of Piety"]
%
"Superstitions, cults and mysticism appear with surprising consistency
 during a social crisis.  Today it is ESP and UFOs, astrology and clairvoyance,
 mystic cults and mesmeric healers.  The growth of interest in such things is
 a sure indicator of social unrest, personal uneasiness, frustration and loss
 of purpose.  These symptoms are also present in the West, particularly in the
 U.S., where they are more chronic; in the Soviet Union, however, we have an
 acute fever.  ...Carl Sagan of Cornell University has told me that in the U.S.
 there are 15,000 astrologers and only 1,500 astronomers. ...It is fascinating
 that in the Soviet Union we are importing creationism from fundamentalists in
 the U.S.  ...The momentous changes happening now in the Soviet Union are the
 reason for this current upsurge of the irrational.  What is important is the
 emerging extremism that they may signal."
  [Sergei Kapitza, President of the Physical Society of the U.S.S.R.
   and editor of the Russian edition of Scientific American, "Antiscience
   Trends in the U.S.S.R.", Scientific American 265(2):32-38, August 1991]
%
"Convicts register their religious affiliation when they're processed into
 prison. And about 99.5% of the huge U.S.A. prison population consists of
 inmates who identified themselves as members of religious denominations."
                        [Gene M. Kasmar]
%
                      = AN HONEST PRAYER =
Dear Lord, love me today and forever, bless my soul and conscience
daily, agree with all of my decisions, punish my enemies until I am
satisfied, give me huge amounts of money, promise to help me always
win, look the other way when I cheat, justify my excuses and believe
all my lies, obey my wishes, and reserve the most luxurious part of
heaven just for me. I will be thankful as long as you do what I say.
Amen.
         [Wally Kaspars, from LUMPEN vol 5, Nos. 8/9]
%
"Organized religion: The world's largest pyramid scheme."
                [Bernard Katz]
%
"There is no opinion so absurd that a preacher could not express it."
                          [Bernie Katz]
%
"The child begins by acting like the grownups who believe, and
 soon believes himself.  The proofs come later, if at all.
 Religious belief generally starts as make-believe."
   [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"The analogy between the God of popular Roman Catholicism and a cruel Caesar
 is striking:  one must serve him in every way and praise him all but
 continually; those who displease him are given over to eternal torture; he
 cannot be approached directly even with petitions; the best procedure is to
 ask somebody who has found favor-a saint, and a particular one depending on
 the nature of one's case-to intercede with the mother of his son, in the hope
 that she may take up the matter with her son, and the son with the father."
       [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"Christianity preaches that love is divine and points to Jesus as the
 incarnation of love: but a Buddhist, and not only a Buddhist, might well say
 that the sacrifice of a few hours' crucifixion followed by everlasting bliss
 at the right hand of God in heaven, while millions are suffering eternal
 tortures in hell, is hardly the best possible symbol of love and self-
 sacrifice. The boss's son who works briefly at lower jobs before he joins his
 father at the head of the company would hardly reconcile the workers to their
 fate if they should be tormented bitterly without relief. Of course, some
 Christians have felt this strongly and it has troubled them deeply, but the
 dominate note in the New Testament and ever since has been one of astounding
 callousness."
       [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"Those committed to an institution generally claim that all those who prefer
 fresh air and freedom lack the courage to commit themselves. In fact, the
 shoe is on the other foot. More often than not, commitment to an institution
 issues from a want of courage to stand up alone. Typically, it is an escape,
 a search for togetherness, for safety in numbers."
              [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
"The deepest difference between religions is not that between polytheism
 and monotheism.... Even the difference between theism and atheism is not
 nearly so profound as that between these who feel and those who do not
 feel their brothers' torments."
            [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
"For those engaged in an impartial investigation, a man's faith creates
 no presumption whatsoever of a higher probability; on the contrary, it is
 more suspicious than a less emotional belief. It raises the question whether
 there is considerable, albeit not compelling, evidence, or whether "faith"
 is but a noble word for wishful thinking."
       [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"Faith in immortality, like belief in God, leaves unanswered the ancient
 question: is God unable to prevent suffering, and thus not omnipotent?
 or is he able and not willing it and thus not merciful? and is he just?"
            [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
"Theologians do not just do this incidentally: (gerrymander) this is
 theology. Doing theology is like doing a jigsaw puzzle in which the verses
 of Scripture are the pieces: the finished picture is prescribed by each
 denomination, with a certain latitude allowed. What makes the game so
 pointless is that you do not have to use all the pieces, and that pieces
 which do not fit may be reshaped after pronouncing the words "this means."
       [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"As long as we cling to the conception of hell, God is not love in any human
 sense-and least of all, love in the human sense raised to the highest potency
 of perfection. And if we renounce the belief in hell, then the notion that
 God gave his son to save those who believe in the incarnation and resurrection
 looses meaning. The significance of salvation depends on an alternative, and
 in traditional Christianity this alternative is eternal torment."
       [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"Few Christians would be in doubt what to think of a father tortured his
 children for forty-eight hours because they did not agree with him or did
 not obey him; and if he had a great many children and had given only a
 few of them a single chance while offering the vast majority no opportunity
 at all to know his will, most people would consider this the epitome of an
 inhuman lack of love and justice. The God of traditional Christianity,
 however, outdoes even this analogy by relegating the mass of mankind to
 eternal torment."
       [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"To try to fashion something from suffering, to relish our triumphs,
 and to endure defeats without resentment: all that is compatible
 with the faith of a heretic."
         [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
"Once we decide to be dishonest with our children, our students, or our
 readers, we have a vested interest in suppressing honesty, in censorship."
           [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
"They may think they chose their doctrine because it is offered to us as
 infallible and true, but this is plainly no sufficient reason: scores of
 other doctrines, scriptures, and apostles, sects and parties, cranks and
 sages make the same claim. Those who claim to know which of the lot is
 justified in making such a bold claim, those who tell us that this faith
 or that is really infallible and true are presupposing in effect, whether
 they realize this or not, that they themselves happen to be infallible."
            [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
"Consider the justice of the God of St. Augustine-and by no means only
 St. Augustine. All men deserve damnation, but God elects a few for salvation.
 They do not deserve this: the grace of God would not by gratia if it were not
 gratis. Yet the damned cannot complain that God is unjust, for no man
 receives a worse lot than he deserves, only some receive a better lot, and
 this shows God's infinite mercy.
    No student would be in doubt for a moment what to think of the justice
 of a teacher who gave a test that everybody failed and then nevertheless gave
 a few of his students "excellent," justifying his procedure along the lines
 suggested by Augustine. This is precisely what we mean by injustice."
        [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"First: having to use means to achieve ends is one of the features that
 distinguishes limited power from omnipotence.  Second: the uneconomic use
 of unpleasant means to achieve doubtful ends with frequent failures clearly
 points to limited power rather than omnipotence."
            [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
"Pascal assumes that the man who believes in order to save his neck,
 unequivocally prompted by self-seeking prudence, will be saved, while the
 man who denies himself the comfort of belief in the name of intellectual
 integrity will not be saved. What, then, does Pascal consider godlike?"
      [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"What Pascal overlooked was the hair-raising possibility that God might
 out-Luther Luther.  A special area in hell might be reserved for those who
 go to mass.  Or God might punish those whose faith is prompted by prudence.
 Perhaps God prefers the abstinent to those who whore around with some
 denomination he despises.  Perhaps he reserves special rewards for those
 who deny themselves the comfort of belief.  Perhaps the intellectual
 ascetic will win all while those who compromise their intellectual
 integrity lose everything."
      [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"To make sense of the churches' mission to save souls, one must suppose that
 those who either are not reached by Christian preaching or reject it are
 not saved but left to some bad fate, traditionally named hell. To make sense
 of the churches, mission, one has to suppose that a man's eternal fate does
 not depend on his own efforts or his conduct, and that God lets our eternal
 bliss or torment hinge, at least in large part, on the efficiency of one or
 another organization. A human judge acting in analogous fashion would be
 said to have abdicated any effort to be just."
             [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
"Christianity, from its inception, has conceived itself as an enemy of
 reason and worldly wisdom; it has exerted itself to impede the development
 of reason, belittled the achievements of reason, and gloated over the
 setbacks of reason."
     [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"The more important the issue at hand, the more it demands careful scrutiny.
 This is a simple but important point which most religious people overlook."
       [Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"The attempt to solve the problem of suffering by postulating original
 sin depends on the belief that cruelty is justified when it is
 retributive;indeed, that morality demands retribution."
            [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
"Dissatisfied with oneself, one becomes a seeker. Difficulty becomes
 a challenge and delight; critical thinking, a way of live."
            [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
   "Theology is the systematic attempt to pour the
    newest wine into the old skins of a denomination."
[Walter Kaufmann, "Critique of Religion and Philosophy"]
%
"It is always tempting to divide men into two lots: Greeks and barbarians,
 Muslims and infidels, those who believe in God and those who don't. But who
 does not fear to understand things that threaten his beliefs?  Of course,
 one is not consciously afraid; but everybody who is honest with himself
 finds that often he does not try very hard to understand what clashes
 with his deep convictions."
            [Walter Kaufmann, "The Faith of a Heretic"]
%
A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove
anything.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%
A Catholic and a Methodist were carpooling to work one morning, when a brick
fell out of the sky, which startled the driver and caused him to swerve off
the road and into a telephone pole, totaling the car.
	The two stumbled out of the wreckage, both feeling quite fortunate
to be alive.  The Catholic crossed himself.  Then the Protestant crossed
himself in an accentuated manner.
	"Hey," said the Catholic, "I why did you cross yourself, you're not
Catholic!"
	"Just checking," replied his friend, crossing himself again,
"spectacles, testicles, wallet, pen."
%
A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on
Saturday and is going to do on Monday.
		-- Thomas Ybarra
%
A clever prophet makes sure of the event first.
%
A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than
he could be elected Pope of Rome.  Both high posts are reserved for men
favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter
facts of life in bandages of self-illusion.
		-- H. L. Mencken
%
A key to the understanding of all religions is that a God's idea of a
good time is a game of Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.
%
	A man dies and is getting his tour of heaven.  His guide is pointing
out the various features and landmarks when the man asks, "What's that cliff?"
	"Oh, you don't want to look down there.  That's hell!"
	The man creeps up to the edge and looks over.  He sees lush, green
valleys, verdant farmland and trees everywhere.  "This doesn't look so bad,"
he says.
	Puzzled, the guide comes over and looks down.  "Damn!" he snaps,
"Those Mormons have been irrigating again!"
%
A man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it.
By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it.  As he
was hanging there for dear life, he looked up and cried out,
	"Is anybody there?"
A deep majestic voice answered,
	"Yes my son, I am here.  What do you need?"
	"Help me!!" cried the man.
	"I will help you", said the voice, "Just let go of the branch and
you'll be safe.  All you have to do is trust."
The man thought for a moment and cried out:
	"Anybody ELSE up there?"
%
A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.
%
"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a
good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious
scruples and the police."
		-- Mr. Dooley
%
A myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes.
		-- James Feibleman, "Understanding Philosophy"
%
A Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone, somewhere, is
having fun.
%
A rabbi and a priest are sitting together on a train, and the rabbi leans
over and asks, "So, how high can you advance in your organization?"
	The priest replies, "Well, if I am lucky, I guess I could become a
Bishop."
	"Well, could you get any higher than that?"
	"I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I
might be made an Archbishop."
	"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?"
	"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal."
	"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?"
	Hesitating a little bit, the priest said, "I supose that I could
be elected Pope, but only if it's God's will."
	"And could you be anything higher than that, is there any way to go
up from being the Pope?"
	"What?!  I should be the Messiah himself?!"
	The rabbi leaned back and smiled.  "One of our boys made it."
%
"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western
religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of
Western science."
		-- Gary Zukav, "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"
%
All Gods were immortal.
		-- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
%
All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things
against him, but we never hear his side.
		-- Mark Twain
%
All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.
		-- R. Crumb
%
Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that every
subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be submitted
to a certain publicity and impartiality.  All proffered samples of learning
must go to the same assay-room and be subjected to common tests.  It is the
essence of all dogmatic faiths to hold that any such "show-down" is
sacrilegious and perverse.  The characteristic of religion, from their point
of view, is that it is intellectually secret, not public; peculiarly revealed,
not generally known; authoritatively declared, not communicated and tested
in ordinary ways...It is pertinent to point out that, as long as religion
is conceived as it is now by the great majority of professed religionists,
there is something self-contradictory in speaking of education in religion
in the same sense in which we speak of education in topics where the method
of free inquiry has made its way.  The "religious" would be the last to be
willing that either the history of the content of religion should be taught
in this spirit; while those to whom the scientific standpoint is not merely
a technical device, but is the embodiment of the integrity of mind, must
protest against its being taught in any other spirit.
		-- John Dewey, "Democracy in the Schools", 1908
%
An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
%
"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest
unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine
bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits,
provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"
		-- Dave Barry, "Getting Religion"
%
...And have you ever noticed that you never see the Father, the Son, and
the Holy Ghost partying together at the same time?  Oh, sure, everybody
talks like they aren't the same person, but I wonder...
%
	And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?"
	They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground
of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood
revealed."
	And Jesus replied, "What?"
%
...and no philosophy, sadly, has all the answers.  No matter how assured
we may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful
inconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions.  This is true in religion
as it is in politics, and is self-evident to all except fanatics and the
naive.  As for the fanatics, whose number is legion in our own time, we
might be advised to leave them to heaven.  They will not, unfortunately, do
us the same courtesy.  They attack us and each other, and whatever their
protestations to peaceful intent, the bloody record of history makes clear
that they are easily disposed to restore to the sword.  My own belief in
God, then, is just that -- a matter of belief, not knowledge.  My respect
for Jesus Christ arises from the fact that He seems to have been the most
virtuous inhabitant of Planet Earth.  But even well-educated Christians are
frustated in their thirst for certainty about the beloved figure of Jesus
because of the undeniable ambiguity of the scriptural record.  Such ambiguity
is not apparent to children or fanatics, but every recognized Bible scholar
is perfectly aware of it.  Some Christians, alas, resort to formal lying to
obscure such reality.
		-- Steve Allen
%
	And on the third day, Christ arose, pushed aside the rock that had
served as the tomb door, and walked again on the earth.
	And as he departed, a passer-by pointed at the door Jesus had left
open.  "What's the matter with you?" he said. "Born in a barn?"
%
Ankh if you love Isis.
%
Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.
		-- Lazarus Long
%
As I argued in "Beloved Son", a book about my son Brian and the subject of
religious communes and cults, one result of proper early instruction in the
methods of rational thought will be to make sudden mindless conversions --
to anything -- less likely.  Brian now realizes this and has, after eleven
years, left the sect he was associated with.  The problem is that once the
untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy --
and it does not matter whether that philosophy is generally reasonable and
high-minded or utterly bizarre and irrational -- the powers of reason are
suprisingly ineffective in changing the believer's mind.
		-- Steve Allen
%
As the Catholic church becomes more and more tolerant, some day they will
have to consider the possibility of a gay pope.  Possibly the largest
issue will be having to decide whether he is "absolutely divine" or "just
simply marvelous."
%
As the recent sightings of bumper stickers reading "IN CASE OF RAPTURE, THIS
VEHICLE WILL BE UNMANNED" have created a great deal of confusion, Fortune
offers the following excerpts from the 1989 printing of the State of Maryland
Driver's Handbook:
	If you notice a glorious light in the sky, a sound as of an infinite
choir of unearthly voices, and a host of winged beings descending from the
heavens, do not panic.  If you are on the freeway, move to the shoulder as
soon as it is safe to do so, activate your hazard blinkers, and wait for the
end of the world.  If you are Saved, it is especially important that you do
this BEFORE you are carried to your Eternal Reward, in order that your vehicle
not become a hazard to others.  Remember, Rapture is the number one cause of
automobile accidents during major spiritual upheavals.  You may experience a
feeling of discorporation ("being pulled from one's body") while driving.  To
ensure the safety of your passengers and other drivers, move to the shoulder
as soon as you notice any of the following symptoms:
	-- An overwhelming sense of peace and happiness.
	-- Visions of the faces of deceased family members.
	-- A glorious figure in white, beckoning from the end of a tunnel of
white mist (do not confuse this with traffic control or maintainance officers,
who wear dark blue and safety orange.)
	Once the feeling has passed, inspect your surroundings.  If still in
your car, you have probably suffered a stroke and should have someone drive
you to a hospital at once.  If you find yourself in the Kingdom of God, consult
the local officials for information on local traffic rules and regulations.
%
As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;
but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have,
with most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his divinity.
		-- Benjamin Franklin
%
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
If God won't have you, the devil must.
%
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
%
Better the prince of some inferior court,
Than second, or less, in beatific light.
		-- Lucifer, Joost van den Vondel's "Lucifer"
%
Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies.  The
danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with
the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell.
		-- St. Augustine
%
Brother Jim's recent appearance on the William and Mary campus this past
week was cut short by an ingenious device designed by two computer science
students.  A three-foot bar of extruded aluminum was precisely machined,
with a hole milled down the center of precisely the dimensions of one of
the small Gideon bibles.  The end capped off, a CO2 canister was connected
to provide up to 2,000 PSIG.  Prelimary estimates during field testing
revealed a muzzle velocity of approximarly 120-150 MPH for bibles exiting
the tube.  Sufficient ammunition was obtained during a previous visit to
campus by another religious organization, and the system was first used on
Brother Jim, who suffered a broken rib and numerous small bruises, in
addition to the usual humiliation.
%
Campus crusade for Cthulhu -- it found me.
%
Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years.  Now when
Communion is served there is also a salad bar.
		-- Bill Marr
%
Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint Him.
%
Christianity and Judaism aren't all that different, really.  Growing up in
a Christian family, the feeling of guilt for Man's sins comes from God.
In a Jewish family, it comes from your parents.
%
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found
difficult and not tried.
		-- G. K. Chesterton
%
Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
%
"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple
and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and
because good teachers understand exactly why it is false.  What could be
more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our
entire intellectualy heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing
honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment
to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any
general understanding of science as an enterprise?
		-- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer"
%
Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.
		-- Madonna
%
Cthulhu Cthucks!
%
Cthulhu for President!
	(If you're tired of choosing the lesser of two evils.)
%
Cthulhu Saves -- in case He's hungry later.
%
David was just a shepherd who liked to get his rocks off in leather.
%
Dear Ann Landers:
	My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday.  He claims
one minister said there are 350 different sins.  My husband wants to
know if you can get the list.  He thinks he is missing something.
		-- E. J. Mayfield
%
Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of
fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.
		-- L. Ron Hubbard
%
Did you ever wonder what you'd say to God if He sneezed?
%
Didja hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?
%
... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion.  The several sects
perform the office of a common censor morum over each other.  Is uniformity
attainable?  Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the
introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned;
yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity.
		-- Thomas Jefferson, "Notes on Virginia"
%
Driving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly
pointed out of the car window and said, "That is the most frightening
sight I have ever seen."  His companion was surprised to see nothing
more alarming than a priest in conversation with a little boy, his hand
on the child's shoulder.  "Run, little boy," cried Hitchcock, leaning
out of the car.  "Run for your life!"
%
During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has
been upon trial.  What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places,
pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,;
in both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution.
		-- James Madison
%
Enemy -- SP (Suppressive Person) Order.  Fair Game.  May be deprived of
property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline
of the Scientologist.  May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed.
		-- L. Ron Hubbard, "Fair Game Doctrine"
%
Ere the cock crows thrice one of you will betray me.
		-- Early Jewish Resistance Leader
%
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
		-- Lenny Bruce
%
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
		-- Mark Twain
%
Go to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to
all your troubles.
		-- Andrew Jackson

The foundations of our society and our government rest so much on the
teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith
in these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country.
		-- Calvin Coolidge

Lastly, our ancestors established their system of government on morality and
religious sentiment.  Moral habits, they believed, cannot safely be trusted
on any other foundation than religious principle, nor any government be
secure which is not supported by moral habits.
		-- Daniel Webster
%
God did not create the world in seven days; he screwed around for six
days and then pulled an all-nighter.
%
God is a polytheist.
%
God is an atheist.
%
GOD is applied POWER
    which is applied GOVERNMENT
	which is applied POLITICS
	    which is applied ADVERTISING
		which is applied SOCIOLOGY
		    which is applied PSYCHOLOGY
			which is applied BIOLOGY
			    which is applied CHEMISTRY
				which is applied PHYSICS
				    which is applied MATH
					which is applied PHILOSOPHY
					    which is applied BULLSHIT
%
"God is as real as I am," the old man said.  My faith was restored, for
I knew that Santa would never lie.
%
"God is big, so don't fuck with him."
%
God is not dead -- he's been busted.
%
God is not dead!  He's alive and autographing bibles at Cody's.
%
God is not dead.  He is alive and well and working on a much less
ambitious project.
%
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent -- it says so right here
on the label.  If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these
divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you.  No
checks, please.  Cash and in small bills.
		-- Lazarus Long
%
God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.
%
God isn't dead, He's just trying to avoid the draft.
%
God made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh.
%
God must love assholes -- She made so many of them.
%
God said it, I believe it and that's all there is to it.
%
God votes Republican.
%
	God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on
where to go.
	"Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter.
	"No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God.
	"Well, how about Mercury?"
	"No, it's too hot there."
	"Okay," said St. Peter, "What about Earth?"
	"No," sighed God, "They're such horrible gossips.  When I was
there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're
still talking about it."
%
God wants us to know that if we see a bumper sticker saying "Honk if you love
Jesus" it is a bad idea to honk to express an opinion about Jesus because it
will annoy the turkey who put the bumper sticker on as well as everyone else
in the vicinity.  However, it is just fine to honk to annoy the turkey simply
for being a turkey, for God told Man to be fruitful and multiply, and to rule
over the beasts of the field and the birds of the air, and that includes the
turkeys who buy such bumper stickers.  Of course, God understands that innocent
bystanders will also be annoyed, but He has wisely created traffic cops to
impose some constraint on how much we may annoy the turkeys within city limits,
for God's wisdom comprehends full well that thou shalt not make an omelette
without breaking eggs.  God only wishes they were turkey eggs, so such moral
dilemmas shall be fewer in number in the future, when the generations a-coming
(hallelujah) won't have so many turkeys to deal with.  But God knows full well
that such things take time, and the turkeys are showing more resilience than
expected, and may be with us for a long time yet.
%
He has been known by many names;  the Prince of Lies, the Director, Lucifer,
Belial, and once, at a party, some obnoxious drunk kept calling him "Dude".
		-- Stig's Inferno
%
Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant, on October
23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning.
		-- Dr. John Lightfoot,
		Vice-chancellor of Cambridge University
%
History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion --
i.e., none to speak of.
		-- Lazarus Long
%
However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise.  There
is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs.
There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ,
or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being.  But like any
powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used
sparingly.  The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are
not using their religious clout with wisdom.  They are trying to force
government leaders into following their position 100 percent.  If you disagree
with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they
threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both.  I'm frankly sick and
tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen
that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C," and
"D."  Just who do they think they are?  And from where do they presume to
claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?  And I am even more
angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group
who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll
call in the Senate.  I am warning them today:  I will fight them every step
of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans
in the name of "conservatism."
		-- Senator Barry Goldwater, Congressional Record
%
I am an atheist, thank God!
%
I call Christianity the one great curse, the one enormous and innermost
perversion, the one great instinct of revenge, for which no means are
too venomous, too underhand, too underground and too petty -- I call it
the one immortal blemish of mankind.
		-- Fredrich Nietzsche
%
I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman
Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church,
nor by any Church that I know of.  My own mind is my own Church.
		-- Thomas Paine
%
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with
sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.
		-- Galileo Galilei
%
I don't care what star you're following, get that camel off my front lawn!
		-- Heard in Bethlehem
%
I figure that if God actually does exist, He's big enough to understand an
honest difference of opinion.
		-- Isaac Asimov
%
	"I think he said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"
	"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manufacturers of dairy
products."
		-- The Life of Brian
%
"I'd like to start a new religion.  One that doesn't use a dead young
man as its logo."
		-- Bill Cain, "Stand Up Tragedy"
%
I'm a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from man.
%
I'm an evolutionist; I refuse to believe that I could have been created by man.
%
If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is
identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a
collection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then I
have no doubt, and I think few people doubt, that atheists are as
plentiful as blackberries.
		-- Leslie Stephen
%
If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.
		-- William Blake
%
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
		-- Voltaire, "Epitres, XCVI"
%
"If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10
apostles."
%
If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.
		-- Yiddish saying
%
If Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; terrible
carpenter.
		-- Gene Kirkwood, on Hollywood
%
If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him.  They
would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
		-- Thomas Carlyle
%
If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection
of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching
in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not
far to seek. ...  The cause lay largely in the diversity and vitality of the
various denominations, each fairly sure that, with a fair field and no favor,
it could make its own way; and each animated by a jealous fear that, if any
connection of State and Church were permitted, some rival denomination would
get an unfair advantage.
		-- John Dewey, "Democracy in the Schools", 1908
%
If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust,
this would be a better world.
		-- Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Days"
%
If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation,
I would have recommended something simpler.
		-- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile,
		   Commenting on the Almagest, by Ptolemy.
%
If you can believe ten impossible things before breakfast, then you
should join

		THE CHURCH OF COUNTERFACTUAL BELIEF

The Church of Counterfactual Belief has been set up to cater to all who
don't allow demonstrable truth to get in the way of their beliefs.  In
addition to creation science and the flatness of the earth, the
following beliefs have been certified by Pope Duane as Church dogma:

    --  That there is a hole in the Earth at the North Pole from which
        UFOs come.
    --  That pi equals precisely 3.000.
    --  That sex can be enjoyed only by blacks and homosexuals.
    --  That Billy Joe Wilson (Hoopla, Miss.) has successfully squared
        the circle.
    --  That Harry Truman is still president, and doing a fine job.
    --  That pi equals precisely 22/7.

Several other important counterfactual beliefs are presently being
studied, including Reaganomics, A.I., and that the moon landings were
done in a Hollywood special effects studio.  These will be the subject
of a forthcoming Papal Bull ...
%
If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists
in the Bible.
		-- Mordecai Richler
%
If you liked the Earth you'll love Heaven.
%
Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.
		-- John Lennon, "Imagine"
%
"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with
reality at any point."
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%
In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless
he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client
has not spoken with Roberts for several years.  Off the record, God has stated
that "If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time
ago."
		-- Dennis Miller, SNL News
%
	In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud."
	And there was mud.
	And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud
can see what we have done."
	And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was
man.  Mud-as-man alone could speak.
	"What is the purpose of all this?" man asked politely.
	"Everything must have a purpose?" asked God.
	"Certainly," said man.
	"Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God.
	And He went away.
		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Between Time and Timbuktu"
%
"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time
someone writes `bible thumpers?'
		-- Joel M. Snyder, jms@mis.arizona.edu
%
It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us
believe there are.
		-- Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid)
%
	It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all
primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach
of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings
arise, which in their intensification lead the individual to forget himself
completely. ... Not only does the bond between man and man come to be forged
once again by the magic of the Dionysian rite, but alienated, hostile, or
subjugated nature again celebrates her reconciliation with her prodigal son,
man.
		-- Fred Nietzsche, The Birth of Tragedy
%
"It says he made us all to be just like him.  So if we're dumb, then
god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side."
		-- Frank Zappa
%
It seems that a rabbi, a priest and a minister decided to go fishing one
sunny afternoon.  All three climbed into the boat and headed for the middle
of the lake.  After several hours of relaxation, the minister decided that
"nature was calling", and climbed out of the boat and walked ashore.  In
a few moments, he walked back out to the boat and climbed back in.
	The rabbi was absolutely astonished, but decided not to mention
the apparent miracle.
	A few minutes later, the priest also decided to go ashore for a
moment, and climbed out of the boat, walked to shore, and a few minutes
later came back.
	By now the rabbi was in great distress and had begun to doubt his
beliefs and wonder if there might be some validity to the Christian
teachings.  But he immediately reaffirmed the fact that his faith WAS JUST
AS STRONG as either the priest's or the minister's and decided that anything
they could do, with God's help, he could do as well.
	The rabbi then announced that he needed relief and would walk to
shore.  He climbed out of the boat and went straight to the bottom of the
lake.  While the rabbi was thrashing about in the water, the priest turned to
the minister and said, "So... do you think we ought to tell him where the
rocks are?"
%
It seems that there was this Christian about to be thrown to the lions.  He
was shoved into the middle of the arena and the lion was released.  Being
a good Christian, as the lion approached he knelt and prayed, asking God for
forgiveness for his (few) sins, and begging that the lion might be dissuaded
from eating him for its breakfast.  Much to his dismay, the lion didn't stop
but kept coming, getting faster and faster, now almost running, so the
Christian took off too.  There they were, running around and around the arena,
the lion getting closer and the Christian praying harder and harder between
gasps for breath.  The lions breath was now hot upon his heels and he could
even feel droplets of the lions saliva splashing on his bare feet.  So he
pulled out all the stops, promising God that if the lion will only spare him,
he will devote the rest of his life to spreading the Christian faith,
forsaking all temptation and possessions.  Suddenly he no longer felt the
lions breath, no longer heard the great beast's snarls close behind him.
Slowing to a stop, he turned around and saw the lion on its knees, eyes rolled
upward, paws held together.  The lion appeared to be muttering something so
the Christian approached until he could make out what the lion was saying.

"Dear Lord, for what I am about to receive..."
%
... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the
existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great
systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative
hypothesis of an extremely low order of probability.
		-- Sidney Hook
%
Jehovah is an alien and still threatens this planet!
%
Jesus died for your sins.  Make it worth his time.
%
Jesus has just stopped the crowd from stoning Mary Magdalene to death
and is berating the self-pious with the famous speech, "Let the one
among you who is without sin cast the first stone..."
	Right about then, a rock comes winging through the air and hits
Jesus upside the head.  He whirls around and shouts "Alright, Mom, c'mon!
I'm trying to make a point, here!"
%
Jesus Never Fails

(He's never taken the Massachusetts Bar Exam, either.)
%
Jesus Saves!

(And Esposito scores on the rebound!)
%
Jesus Saves,
Moses Invests,
But only Buddha pays Dividends.
%
Jesus Saves,
Moses Invests,
But only Buddha pays Dividends.
%
"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"
		-- Daniel Hinojosa
%
Jesus was killed by a Moral Majority.
%
John Paul II is famous for his touring, and his quaint habit of pressing
his lips to foreign soil on his arrival.  This sparked some wit to remark:
	"The Pope has it backwards: he kisses the ground, and walks on
the women!"
%
LET Jesus be YOUR anchor!

So when Satan rocks your boat, THROW Jesus overboard!
%
Little Herbie had been blind since birth.  One day at bedtime, his mother
told him that the next day was a very special one.  If he prayed extra
hard, he'd be able to see when he woke up the next morning.  The next
morning she came into Herbie's room and asked him if he'd prayed hard
the night before.
	"Yes, Mommie," was his reply, "all night long!"
	"Well, then," she said, "open your eyes and you'll know that
your prayers have been answered."
Little Herbie opened his eyes, only to cry out,
	"Mother! Mother! I still can't see!"
	"I know, dear," said his mother, "April Fool."
%
Man proposes, God disposes.
		-- Thomas `a Kempis
%
Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so.  It
is not so.  It is so.  It is not so.
		-- Benjamin Franklin, "Poor Richard's Almanack"
%
Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God
is a cruel and capricious tyrant.
		-- Edward Gibbon
%
Militant agnostic: I don't know, and you don't either.
%
My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus.  They put him
in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was
Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.
		-- T. Bywater
%
Newsflash:
	Apparently the rapture did occur last Tuesday as was originally
predicted.  All true believers were transported to heaven while the rest
of us were left behind to await the Anti-Christ and the end of the world.
	Widespread reports that the rapture had not occurred stemmed from
expectations that the effect would be more widespread than it turned out
to be.  The definition of "true believer" was apparently more restrictive
than expected, however, and the only qualifiers were a family of five,
living in Stenton, North Dakota.
%
"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."
		-- Woody Allen
%
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-
bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers
have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence
of God.  The argument follows:  "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God,
"for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."  "But," says Man,
"the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it?  It could not have evolved
by chance, thus proving that you exist, therefore by your own arguements,
you don't.  QED."  "Oh, dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and
promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
		-- D. Adams
%
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each
of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called
it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to
synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank.  People passing each
other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to
the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
		-- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
%
Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD.  I fought like hell
for them.  But another group came along and exposed the word of my group
as shallow and degenerate.  They had a better word.  So I quit the first
group and lost all the friends I had made and I joined up with this new
group.  I fought like hell for them.  But another group came around.  They
exposed the word of my group as false and materialistic.  Their word was
very much better.  So I quit the second group and lost all the friends I
had made.  And I joined up with this new group.  I fought like hell for them.
Till this one guy came along and proved that there wasn't any word at all.
That I should go off as an individual and grow!  So I quit the last group
and lost all the friends I had made.  And now I sit home alone all day and
all I do is grow.  It would be nice to join up with some others who feel
the way I do.
		-- J. Feiffer
%
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
%
One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible
from one end to the other.  Reading the Bible straight through is at
least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin.  But the good parts
are, of course, simply amazing.  God is an extremely uneven writer, but
when He's good, nobody can touch Him.
		-- John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan 1983
%
One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists.  But it has
occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.
		-- Jane Wagner, "The Search for Signs of Intelligent
		   Life in the Universe"
%
One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at
the stake while the votes were being counted.
		-- Thomas B. Reed
%
Pain is just God's way of hurting you.
%
Paster Crosstalk:	What items are specifically mentioned by GOD as being
	unclean?  Now did you know... preying birds... praying mantises...
	All birds of prey, all carrion eaters, fish eaters -- no good, can't
	eat those.  Nothing that does not have both fins and scales.  Most
	CREEPING things...
Alvarado:	How 'bout caterpillars?
P:	A caterpillar doesn't have a backbone.  Nothing without a backbone
	can get in.
A:	How do you know?  You char a caterpillar, it gets real stiff!
P:	Well, I don't think that the Lord meant us to eat CHARRED
	CATERPILLARS!
[...]
P:	The hog, the squirrel... little squirrels.  Who would want to eat
	a LITTLE SQUIRREL?
A:	If you're starving.  If you're starving in the park one day.
P:	You'd probably just CHAR 'em to get 'em stiff, wouldn't ya?
A:	No, you SINGE 'em.  You SINGE 'em and eat 'em.  *I* read about the
	Donner Pass, I know what man does when he's hungry.
P:	Squirrels eating squirrels -- my GOD, that's sick!
A:	That's sick, SURE.  But a MAN eating a squirrel -- that's (heh, heh)
	par for the course, Charlie.
		-- Firesign Theatre
%
Pope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history of the
Church, reigning for two hours and six minutes on 1 April 1866.  The
white smoke had hardly faded into the blue of the Vatican skies before it
dawned on the assembled multitudes in St. Peter's Square that his name
had hilarious possibilities.  The crowds fell about, helpless with
laughter, singing
	Half a pound of tuppenny rice
	Half a pound of treacle
	That's the way the chimney smokes
	Pope Goestheveezl
The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter
streaming down their faces.  The event set a record for hilarious civic
functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron Hans Neizant
B"ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K"oln in 1653.
		-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
%
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
		-- Stephen Coonts, "The Minotaur"
%
Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.
		-- Blake
%
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
		-- Anatole France
%
Religion is a crutch, but that's okay... humanity is a cripple.
%
Religion is fine, Churchianity sucks.
%
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
		-- Napoleon
%
Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.
%
Seems like these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three
were always in accord against the fourth.  One day, the odd rabbi out, with
the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost
again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.  "Oh, God!" he cried.  "I
know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong!  Please show me a sign,
so they too will know that I understand Your laws."
	It was a beautiful, sunny day.  As soon as the rabbi finished his
plaint, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four.  It rumbled once
and dissolved.  "A sign from God!  See, I'm right, I knew it!"  But the other
three disagreed, pointing out that stormclouds form on hot days.
	So he asked again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am
right and they are wrong.  So please, God, a bigger sign."
	This time four stormclouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form
one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning knocked down a tree ten feet away from
the rabbis.  The cloud dispersed at once.  "I told you I was right!" insisted
the loner, but the others insisted that nothing had happened that could not
be explained by natural causes.
	The insisting rabbi is all ready to ask for a *very big* sign when
just as he says "Oh God..." the sky turns pitch black, the earth shakes, and
a deep, booming voice intones, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"
	The sky returns to normal.  The one rabbi puts his hands on his hips
and snarls, "Well?"  "Okay, okayyyy," replied another, "so now it's 3 to 2!"
%
Seems like this farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans
to turn it into a thriving enterprise.  The fields are grown over with weeds,
the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.
During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's
work, praying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your
dreams!"
	A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer.
Lo and behold, it's like a completely different place -- the farm house is
completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and
other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields
are filled with crops planted in neat rows.  "Amazing!" the preacher says.
"Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
	"Yes, reverend," replies the farmer, "but remember what the farm was
like when God was working it alone!"
%
She say, Miss Colie, You better hush.  God might hear you.  Let 'im hear me,
I say.  If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a
different place, I can tell you.
		-- Alice Walker, "The Color Purple"
%
Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer.
	[If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]
		-- Voltaire
%
Sixtus V, Pope from 1585 to 1590 authorized a printing of the Vulgate
Bible.  Taking no chances, the pope issued a papal bull automatically
excommunicating any printer who might make an alteration in the text.
This he ordered printed at the beginning of the Bible.  He personally
examined every sheet as it came off the press.  Yet the published
Vulgate Bible contained so many errors that corrected scraps had to be
printed and pasted over them in every copy.  The result provoked wry
comments on the rather patchy papal infallibility, and Pope Sixtus had
no recourse but to order the return and destruction of every copy.
%
Smile, Cthulhu Loathes You.
%
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of
intelligence.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
So, if there's no God, who changes the water?
		-- New Yorker cartoon of two goldfish in a bowl
%
So, what's with this guy Gideon, anyway?  And why can't he ever remember
his Bible?
%
So... how come the Corinthians never wrote back?
%
Some people seem to think that "damn" is God's last name.
%
Some things have to be believed to be seen.
%
Such evil deeds could religion prompt.
		-- Titus Lucretius Carus
%
Sure banking is Biblical!

How about when Onan received a substantial penalty for early withdrawal?
Or when Pharaoh's daughter went into the bulrushes and came out with a
little prophet?  And it was Moses who led the Children of Israel to the
Banks of the Jordan!
%
Taoism: Shit Happens.
Confucianism: Confucious say, "Shit Happens".
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Protestantism: Shit happens, but it happens to someone else.
Catholicism: Shit happens, but you deserved it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to US?
%
Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising
amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered
the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling
to risk offending God's grandmother.
		-- Len Cool, "American Pie"
%
Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D.  He was a pagan,
and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about
his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...]  To him is ascribed the
sublime confession: Credo quia absurdum est (I believe because it is absurd).
This does not altogether accord with historical fact, for he merely said:
	"And the Son of God died, which is immediately credible because it
	is absurd.  And buried he rose again, which is certain because it
	is impossible."
Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of
philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it.
		-- C. G. Jung, "Psychological Types"
	[Tertullian was one of the founders of the Catholic Church.  Ed.]
%
"That's no answer," Job said, "And for someone who's supposed to be
omnipotent, let me tell you 'tabernacle' has only one l."
		-- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
%
The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion.  I could
never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.
		-- Abraham Lincoln
%
The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity;
the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of a
military spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and
private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion;
and the soldiers' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of both sexes
who could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity.
		-- Edward Gibbons, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire"
%
The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being
as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of
the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.  But we may hope that the
dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with
this artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine
doctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
	The devout Jew was beside himself because his son had been dating
a shiksa, so he went to visit his rabbi.  The rabbi listened solemnly to
his problem, took his hand, and said, "Pray to God."
	So the Jew went to the synagogue, bowed his head, and prayed, "God,
please help me.  My son, my favorite son, he's going to marry a shiksa, he
sees nothing but goyim..."
	"Your son," boomed down this voice from the heavens, "you think
you got problems.  What about my son?"
%
The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.  Nowhere in
the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines,
and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.
		-- John Adams
%
"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly
teaches me to suspect that my own is also."

"I would not interfere with any one's religion, either to strengthen it
or to weaken it.  I am not able to believe one's religion can affect his
hereafter one way or the other, no matter what that religion may be.
But it may easily be a great comfort to him in this life -- hence it is a
valuable posession to him."

"I do not see how eternal punishment hereafter could accomplish any good
end, therefore I am not able to believe in it. To chasten a man in order
to perfect him might be reasonable enough; to annihilate him when he shall
have proved himself incapable of reaching perfection mught be reasonable
enough; but to roast him forever for the mere satisfaction of seeing him
roast would not be reasonable -- even the atrocious God imagined by the Jews
would tire of the spectacle eventually."
		-- Mark Twain
%
The ecumenical movement has reached a milestone with the agreement on the
text of the first Jewish-Catholic prayer -- one that begins "Oy vay, Maria".
%
... The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost would never throw the Devil
out of Heaven as long as they still need him as a fourth for bridge.
		-- Letter in NEW LIBERTARIAN NOTES #19
%
The first and almost the only Book deserving of universal attention is
the Bible.
		-- John Quincy Adams

All the good from the Saviour of the world is communicated through this Book;
but for the Book we could not know right from wrong.  All the things desirable
to man are contained in it.
		-- Abraham Lincoln

... the Bible ... is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of
life, the nature of God and spirtual nature and need of men.  It is the only
guide of life which really leads the spirit in the way of peace and salvation.
		-- Woodrow Wilson
%
The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty
prophecies.  The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant
with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.
		-- St. Augustine
%
The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists.
That is why they invented hell.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
The Israelites were all waiting anxiously at the foot of the mountain,
knowing that Moses had had a tough day negotiating with God over the
Commandments.  Finally a tired Moses came into sight.
	"I've got some good news and some bad news, folks," he said.  "The
good news is that I got Him down to ten.  The bad news is that adultery's
still in."
%
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
Indian Giver be the name of the Lord.
%
The Messiah will come.  There will be a resurrection of the dead -- all
the things that Jews believed in before they got so damn sophisticated.
		-- Rabbi Meir Kahane
%
The Most Unsuccessful Version Of The Bible
	The most exciting version of the Bible was printed in 1631 by Robert
Barker and Martin Lucas, the King's printers at London.  It contained
several mistakes, but one was inspired -- the word "not" was omitted from
the Seventh Commandment and enjoined its readers, on the highest authority,
to commit adultery.
	Fearing the popularity with which this might be received in remote
country districts, King Charles I called all 1,000 copies back in and fined
the printers L3,000.
		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
%
The nearer to the church, the further from God.
		-- John Heywood
%
The new priest was so nervous about performing his first mass that he could
hardly speak.  He asked his Monsignor how he could relax.  The Monsignor
replied that it might help relax him to add just a bit of vodka to the water
pitcher.  The next Sunday, after following the Monsignor's advice, the priest
returned to the rectory to find a note from that worthy.

	(1) Next time sip rather than gulp.
	(2) There are ten commandments, not 12.
	(3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
	(4) We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T".
	(5) The recommended grace before meals is not,
		"Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, Yaaaay, God!"
	(6) Do not refer to our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and his
		Apostles as "J.C. and the Boys".
	(7) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
	(8) The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost are never referred
		to as, "Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook".
	(9) It is always the Virgin Mary, never The Mary with the Cherry.
	(10) Last, but not least, next Wednesday there will be a
		Taffy-Pulling Contest at St.Peter's, not a Peter-Pulling
		Contest at St. Taffy's.
%
The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist.
		-- Stendhal
%
The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that
the first one was useless.
		-- Nicolas Chamfort
%
The priest at Sunday mass noticed that Michael took a ten-dollar bill and two
one-dollar bills from the collection plate, instead of putting something in.
He thought to himself, I'd better watch out for Michael.  The next week he
noticed the same thing.  So he waited outside church when mass was over, and
as Michael came out, he accosted his and said,
	"Michael, tell me -- why did you take out a ten-dollar bill and two
singles two weeks in a row, instead of putting money into the collection?"
	Michael replied, "Father, I'm embarrassed, but I did it because I
wanted to go downtown for a blow job."
	The priest looked suprised but said to Michael, "Listen, don't do
that anymore.  I'll be watching you from now on."
	When he got back to the rectory, the priest was still perplexed.
Finally he decided to call Mother Agatha at the convent.  He said, "Mother,
you've been such a great friend of mine, I have a question I need to ask you.
What is a blow job?"
	Mother Agatha replied, "Oh, twelve dollars, same as downtown."
%
The reason Roman Catholics are allowed to use the rhythm method of birth
control is that it doesn't work.
%
The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
his rather old and crusty parish.  As is usual in these cases, a locum was
sent to cover the transition period.  This particular man was young and
active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and
exciting.  As a consequence he was more than a little dissapointed with the
dull and tradition-bound church.  He decided to do something about it.
	For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and
vestments, but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit.  The congregation
was horrified!  He changed the order of the service.  The congregation was
horrified!  Then came the children's lesson.
	For this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table.
The congregation was mortified!  He sat there swinging his legs against
the table as the children gathered around him.
	He asked the children, "What's small, brown, furry and eats nuts?"
	There was total silence.
	He asked again, "What's small, brown, furry and eats nuts?"
	Total silence.
	Eventually, one timid youngster put up his hand and said, "Please,
sir, I know the answer is Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."
%
The Unitarians are really just a bunch of atheists who really like going to
church.
%
The Utah version of this joke goes:
	One of the Council of the Twelve runs breathlessly into the Presidents'
office one day.  The President looks up and says "Brother, what is so important
that you ran all the way here, losing your breath?"
	The Council member finally regains his breath, and says "The Savior is
in the lobby!!"
	The President immediate starts for the door, crying "It has come!  The
prophecies are fullfilled!  We are all about to be uplifted!"
	The Council member says "Wait!  You didn't let me finish!  She's...
black, and SHE IS PISSED!"
%
The wages of sin are high -- unless you know someone who does it for nothing.
%
The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence
from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand
it.  The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.
		-- Elbert Hubbard
%
There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence
of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally
competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make
some other part of hell comfortably cool.  This is obviously impossible.
		-- Richard Davisson
%
"There is a God, but He drinks"
		-- Blore
%
There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends
his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.
		-- Tom Robbins, "Jitterbug Perfume"
%
There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.
		-- George Francis Gillette
%
This story concerns a man who, after putting his son to bed each night, would
stand by his boy's door and listen to his son saying his prayers.  One night,
the boy ended his prayers with, "God specially bless Granddad, who won't be
with us much longer."  The man thought this was rather curious, but passed it
off as childish whimsy.  The next day, however, he received a call from his
mother, informing him that his father had passed away early that morning.
During the next few weeks, he listened particularly closely to his son's
prayers, but noticed nothing unusual.  Then, one night, the boy ended his
prayers with, "God specially bless Grandmom, who won't be with us much longer."
Although the shock of the original incident had worn off during the intervening
weeks, he nontheless phoned his mother to inquire as to her health.  He went to
bed reassured, only to be awakened in the night by his sister calling with the
news that their mother had died suddenly in the night.  The father had a series
of psychological tests done; nothing unusual was uncovered.  About a month
later, the boy ended his prayers with, "God specially bless Daddy, who won't
be with us much longer."  The man was panic-stricken, certain that he was
going to die during the night.  He resolved to stay awake all night; if awake
and alert he should be able to prevent any tragedy.  Morning came.  Breathing
a huge sigh of relief, he went to get the paper off the porch.  There, lying
dead on the doorstep, was the milkman.
%
To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects
but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.
		-- Lionel Strachey
%
To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.
		-- Sri Aurobindo
%
TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING:

	Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you
may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
	Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else be required
to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted
or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your
receving said benefit.
	I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between
yourself and that which may have an interest in the matter of your receving
as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may
in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
	Amen.
		-- Roger Zelazny, "Creatures of Light and Darkness"
%
"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
		-- Woody Allen
%
Unitarians pray "To whom it may concern".
%
Vatican upholds ban on contraceptives: "To heir is humane," claims the Pope.
%
We ... make the modern error of dignifying the Individual.  We do everything
we can to butter him up.  We give him a name, assure him that he has certain
inalienable rights, educate him, let him pass on his name to his brats and
when he dies we give him a special hole in the ground ... But after all, he's
only  a seed, a bloom and a withering stalk among pressing billions.  Your
Individual is a pretty disgusting, vain, lewd little bastard ... By God,
he has only one right guaranteed him in Nature, and that is the right to die
and stink to Heaven.
		-- Ross Lockridge, quoted in "Short Lives" by Katinka Matson
%
We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern
their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of
their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor
Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say
nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among
themselves about their relationship to God.  But all will agree on a
proposition that they possess profound spiritual resources.  If, in addition,
we can get them to accept the further proposition that whatever form the Deity
may have in their own theology, the Deity is not only external, but internal
and acts through them, and they themselves give proof or disproof of the
Deity in what they do and think; if this further proposition can be accepted,
then we come that much closer to a truly religious situation on earth.
		-- Norman Cousins, from his book "Human Options"
%
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to
the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his
children smart.
		-- H. L. Mencken, "Minority Report"
%
"Well, we've come full circle, Lord; I'd like to think there's some
higher meaning to all this.  It would certainly reflect well on you."
%
Well, you see there was this neighborhood that had a priest, a minister, and
a rabbi who lived near each other.  One summer afternoon the priest went out
and bought himself a new car, and the minister and rabbi, not to be outdone,
did the same.
	The next day the priest went out and blessed his car.  The minister
hired a crane and baptized his car in a swimming pool.  The rabbi, after
thinking seriously for a bit, got a hacksaw and cut three inches off the end
of the tail pipe.
%
	"What are you doing?"
	"Examining the world's major religions.  I'm looking for something
that's light on morals, has lots of holidays, and with a short initiation
period."
%
What good is having someone who can walk on water if you don't follow
in his footsteps?
%
What if there had been room at the inn?
		-- Linda Festa on the origins of Christianity
%
What is good?  Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the
will to power, power itself.  What is bad?  Everything that is born of
weakness.  Not contentedness but more power; not peace but war; not virtue
but fitness.  The weak and the failures shall perish: first principle of
our love of man.  And they shall even be given every possible assistance.
What is more harmful than any vice?  Active pity for all the failures and
all the weak: Christianity.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%
	"What the hell are you getting so upset about?  I thought you didn't
believe in God."
	"I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I
don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God.  He's not the
mean and stupid God you make Him out to be."
		-- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
%
When Cthulhu calls, He calls collect!
%
When somebody protested at [Pope Alexander VI's] wholesale distribution of
pardons for the most heinous crimes -- one of which included the murder of
a daughter by the father -- he retorted easily, "It is not God's will that
a sinner should die, but that he should live -- and pay."
		-- E. R. Chamberlin, "The Bad Popes"

Judas sold Christ for 30 denari, this man [Pope Alexander VI] would sell
him for 29.
		-- Ottaviano Ubaldini, chamberlain to Pope Alexander VI
%
Why attack God?  He may be as miserable as we are.
		-- Erik Satie
%
Why I am an atheist:

1. Atheists do not believe in higher powers.
2. God is the highest power.
3. Therefore, God must be an atheist.
4. We should all strive to be like God.
5. We should all be atheists.
%
Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is
wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that
unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant?  Is it
not a spectacle to make the angels laugh?  We are a company of ignorant
beings, feeling our way through mists and darkness, learning only be
incessantly repeated blunders, obtaining a glimmering of truth by falling
into every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for our daily
needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe the ultimate
origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures to declare that
we don't know the map of the universe as well as the map of our infintesimal
parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that he will be damned to all
eternity for his faithlessness.
		-- Leslie Stephen, "An Agnostic's Apology",
		   Fortnightly Review, 1876
%
Yeah, God is dead, he laughed himself to death.
%
	"You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring,
stands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and
shouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a
diseased uloruaha root)!"
		-- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"
%
Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree,
shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"
		-- Johnny Carson
%
Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.
		-- Lady Whiteadder, "Blackadder II"
%
"It don't matter, Sail, ... Could be worse.  The fam'ly might be
donatin' the proceeds to the Cath'lic Church, or the Mormons or
somethin'.  One cult's the same another."
		-- Lula Pace Ripley, "Consuelo's Kiss"
%
"I don't know whether God exists or not, but it makes no difference to me."
"It's not like He's passing out free money or anything."
		-- Townsperson in Estard, Dragon Warrior VII
%
"I've recently noticed "as if for the first time" that when people pray
they always look "upward" -- i.e. perpendicular to whatever place they're
standing -- or kneeling or groveling. I deduce that they conceive of their
"god" as topologically isomorphic to a huge donut, about a thousand miles
wider than Earth."
		-- Robert Anton Wilson
%